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TllK
WORKS
•
OF
PRESIDENT EDWARDS.
IN TEN VOLUMES.
VOL. X.
CO^'TAINI^'G,
MEMOIRS OP THE REV. DAVID BRATWERO.
NEW YORK :
PUBLISHED BY S. CONVERSE.
1839.
Vanderpool & Cole, Printers.
CONTENTS.
Pa»e
Advertisement by the Editor 3
Pemberton's Sermon 9
Preface 27
CHAPTER I.
From his birth to the time when he began to study for the mi-
nistry 33
CHAPTER n.
From about the time when he began the study of Theology
to his Licensure - 52
CHAPTER HI.
From bis Licensure, till his examination and Commission as a
Missionary 07
CHAPTER IV.
From the time of his examination and Commission as a Mission-
ary, to his entrance on his Mission - among the Indians at ,
Kaunaumeek 19
CHAPTER V.
From the commencement of his labours at Kaunaumeek to his or-
dination 91
CHAPTER VI.
From his ordination to the commencement of his labours at
Crossweeksung 143
CHAPTER VII.
From the commencement of his residence at Crossweekstingy to
the close of the first part of his .Toumal - - - 1 94
iv CONTEXTS.
CHAPTER Vlll.
From the close of the first part of his « Jouexal," Nov. 5, 1745,
to the 19th of June, 1746 ; when the second part of his Journal
terminated. This, and the preceding chapter, occupy one
year — the most interesting year of Brainerd's Life - 244
CHAPTER IX.
General remarks on the preceding narrative of a work of grace
at Ciosswceksung. I. On the Doctrines preached to the In-
dians. II. On tiie Moral Effects of preaching Christ crucified.
III. On the (Continuance, Renewal and Quickness of the work.
IV. On the little appearance of False Religion - - 30J>
CHAPTER X.
General remarks on the work of grace at Crossweeksung
continued — Introduction — Method of Learning the Indian
Language — Method of Instructing the Indians — DiflSculties in
the way in converting them to Christianity — Attestations of
neighbouring Ministers, Elders, and Deacons to the display
of Divine grace at Crossweeksung - - - - 321
CHAPTER XL
From the close of his Journal, June 19, 1746, to the termination
of his Missionary labours, March 20, 1747 - - 352
CHAPTER XH.
From the termination of his Missionary labours to his death 378
CHAPTER XHL
Reflections on the preceding Memoirs - - - - 414
Funeral Sermon --^ 453
ADVERTISEMENT BY THE EDITOR.
About the year 1740, several distinguished ministers in the city of New
York and its vicinity; and among them. Rev. Ebenezer Pembektoh, of
New York; Rev. Aaron Burr, of Newark; and Rev. Jonatran Dickis-
SOH, of Elizabethtown ; communicated to the *^ Society in Scotland for Propa-
gating Christian Knowledge," *^ the deplorable and perishing state of Uie
Indians in the provinces of New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania."
In consequence of this representation, the Society charitably and cheerfully
agreed to the proposal of maintaining two mifnonariu among them, to conveil
them to Christianity ; and in pursuance of this design sent those gentlemen,
and some others — ^both clergymen and laymen, -a Commission to act as their
Commissioners^ or Correspondents^ "in providing, directing, and inspecting
the said Mission."
" As soon as the Correspondentp received their commission," to use their own
language, "they immediately looked out for two candidates for the ministry,
whose zeal for the interests of the Redeemer's kingdom, and whnse compassion
for perishing souls would prompt them to such an exceedingly difficult and self-
denying undertaking. They first prevailed with Mr. Azariah Hortoit to
relinquish a call to an encouraging parish, and to devote himself to the Indian
service. He was directed to Long Island in August, 1741, at the east end of
which there are two small towns of Indians ; and, from the eas^t to the weet end
of the island, lesser companies settled at a few miles distance from one another,
for the distance of more than a hundred miles. At his first arrival, he was
well received by most, and cordially welcomed by some of them. Those at the
east end of the Island, especially, gave diligent and serious attention to his in-
structions ; and many of them were led to ask the solemn inquiry, " What
they should do to be saved ?" A general reformation of manners was soon ob-
servable among most of these Indians. They were careful to attend, and
serious and solemn while attending, upon both public and private instructions.
A number of them were under very deep convictions of their miserable, perish-
ing state ; and about twenty of them give lasting evidences of their saving con-
version to God. Mr. HoRToir has baptized thirty-Jive adults, and forty-four
children. He took pains with them to teach them to read : and some of them
have made considerable proficiency. But the extensiveness of his charge, and
the necessity of his travelling from place to place, renders him incapable of
giving so constant an attendance to their instruction in reading^, as is necessary.
In his last letter to the Correspondents, he heavily complains of a great defection
of some of them from their first reformation and care of their souls; occusioned
by strong drink being brought among them, and their being thereby allured to
relapse into their darling vice of drunkenness. This is a vice to which the In-
dians are everywhere so greatly addicted, and so vehemently disposed, that
nothing bat the power of divine grace can restrain that impetous lust, when they
have oppoKunity to gratify it. He likewise complains, that some of them hava
grown more careless and remiss in the duties of religious worship, than they
VI .U)VERTISE3IEXT.
were when first acquainted with the gpreat things of eternal peace. But, as a
number retain their first impressions, and as they generally attend with reve-
rence upon his ministry, he goes on with his work with encouraging hopes of
the presence and blessing of God with him in this difficult undertaking."
With the subsequent labours and success of Mr. Horton the Editor is unac-
quainted ; not having been able to ascertain how long he was employed as a
Missionary ; or whether his Diary was ever published.
** It was some time after this, before the Correspondents could obtain another
Missionary. At length they prevailed with Mr. David Brainerd to refuse
several invitations to places, where he had a promising prospect of a comfort*
able settlement, to encounter the fatigues and perils which must attend his
carrying the Gospel of Christ to these poor, miserable savages."*
David Brainerd, the subject of the ensuing Life, and author of the Diary
incorporated with it, was examined and approved as a Missionary, at the city
of New York, by the Correspondents of the Society m Scotland for Propaga-
ting Christian Knowledge, Nov. 25, 1742.
The field of Missionary labour, originally proposed for him by the Corres-
pondents, was among the Indians living near the Forks of Delaware in Pennsyl-
vania, and the Indians farther westward on the Susquehanuah. Owing to some
contention subsisting, at the time of his appointment, between Uiese In-
dians and the whites, concerning their lands, the Correspondents concluded to
defer his mission among them until harmony was restored ; and having received
intelligence from the Rev. Mr. Skroeakt. Missionary to the Indians at Stock-'
bridge, Massachusetts, that the existing state of the Indians at Kaunaumeek, a
place in the woods between Stockbridge and Albany, proiiiised success to the
labours of a Missionary ; they selected that as his first station. His labours at
Kaunaumeek commenced April 1. 1743, and continued one year; when he pre-
vailed on th^ Indians at that place to remove to Stockbridge and attend on the
Rev. Mr. Sergeant's ministry.
Brainerd was ordained as a Missionary at Newark, N. J.« June the 12th
1744 ; and on the 22d of the same rponth, entered on his labours at Sakkauwo-
tung\ within the Forks of Delaware,
On the 5th of October, 1744, he visited, for the first time, the Indians on the
Susquehanuah, and commenced his labours at a placed called Opeholhaupung,
On the 19th of June, 1745, he began to preach to the Indians at brossweeksujig^
R place about twenty miles west of Amboy in New Jersey, and the scene of his
greatest success. It is now called Crosswecks^ and is on the road from Amboy
to Bordentown.
On the 3d of May, 1746, he removed from that place, with the whole body
of the Indians, to a place called Cranberry^ fiftecfi miles from Crossweeksung.
At these places he continued to reside until March 20, 1747; when, owing to
the ravages of a pulmonary consumption, brought on by his exposures and hard-
ships, his labours as a Missionary were terminated and he bade farewell to his
beloved Church, and people a< Cranberry,
The first communication made by him to the Correspondents, was in a letter
to the Rev. Mr. Pkmberton, of Nov. 5, 1744 ; giving a succinct account of his
residence at Kaunaumeek. and of the commencement of his labours of Sakhaw
Vfotung and Opeholhaupung, Afler this he regularly forwarded to them a copy
of his Diary. They published extracts from his Diary, in two parts or numbers,
with some variations in the titles. The First part, commencing with his resi-
dence at Crossweeksung^ June 19th, 1745, and reaching to Nov. 4th, 1745 ; was
published early in the following year ; and was entitled,
" Mirabilia Dei inter Indices ;
Or the Rise and Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace,
Among a number of Inclians,
In the Provinces of New Jersey and Penns} Ivania ;
~i - - - -
* These extracts are from the Preface of the Corresponilents to Bramerd's Letter to
Pemberton*
ABVEBTISEMBNT. VU
Justly represented in a Jovrjtal. kept by order of the Honourable Society
in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge ; with some General Remarks ;
By David Brainbrd,
Minister of the Gospel, and Missionary from the said Society :
Pablished by the Reverend and worthy Correspondents o^ the said Society ;
with a Preface by them."
The Second part, extending from Nov 24th, 1745, to June 19th 1746, was
published in the latter part of that year ; and was entitled
'* Divine Grace Displayed ;
Or the Continuance and Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace
Among some of the Indians
Belonging to the Provinces of New Jersey and Pennsylvania ;
Justly represented in a Journal kept by order of the Honourable Society in
Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge ;
with some General Remarks;
To which is subjoined an Appendix, containing some account of sundry things,
and especially of the Difficulties attending the Work of a Missionary among
the Indians:
Bt David Brainbrd, .
Minister of the Gospel, and Missionary from the said Society :
Published by the Reverend and worthy Correspondents of the said Society."'
These two parts have always been called ** Brainerd^s Journal ;" and
were published during his life.
Brainerd died at the house of the Rev. Joitathait Edwards, of North-
ampton, Oct. 9th, 1747 ; leaving all his papers in the hands of that gentleman,
*•* that he might dispose of them as he thought would be most for G^'s glory,
and the interest of. Religion." Of these, the most valuable was the Account of
his early life and the original copy of his Diary. From these materials, Mr.
Edwards prepared a Life of Brainerd, an 8vo volume of 316 pages ; which
was published at Boston in 1749, with the following title ;
" An Account of the Life
Of the Late Rev. David Brainerd
Missionary to the Indians,
From the Hon. Society in Scotland for the Propagation of
Christian Knowledge ;
And Pastor of a Church of Christian Indians in New Jersey ;
Who died at Northampton, October 9th, 1747,
In the 30th year of his age :
Chiefly taken from his own Diary, and other private writings, written
for his own u^e ; and now published.
By Jonathan Edwards, A. M.
Minister of the Gospel at Northampton."
It has been the intention of the Editor, to render this volume, as a Memoir of
Braiiterd, complete. It contains the whole of the Life and Diary including
the Journal, together with a I his letters, and other writings (so far as they are
known to the Editor) and the concluding Reflections on his Memoirs, by Presi-
dent Edwards ; all arranged in a regular series, according to the order of events.
In addition to these, it contains two letters of John Brainerd and the Ser-
mons of Pehbbrton and Edwards ; both of uncommon excellence.
The Diary of Brainerd, a single point only excepted, is probably the best
manual of Christian experience, ever yet published. The exception arises from
the fact, that the native temperament of Brainerd^s mind inclined him to me-
lancholy. This, his biographer, and himself, towards the close of life, regarded
as a serious unhappiness, not to say defect, in his character. If the requisite al-
lowance be made for this constitutional infirmity, the diary will prove altogether
useful to the private Christian. As an example of a mind tremulously apprehen-
sive of sin, loathing it in every form, and for its own sake, avoiding even the
appearance of evil, rising above all terrestrial considerations, advancing
rapidly in holiness, and finding its only enjoyment in the glory of God ; probably
no similar word in any language, can furnish a parallel.
In the Reflections on the Memoirs of Brainerd, as in a clear transparent
mirror, the reader if he is not voluntarily blind, will discover the true character
Viii ADVSmTISSHENT.
of his own heart. The narratire of conyeniont , dariDg the long; Pentecost season
at Crosnpiektwufi while it cannot fail to delig^ht and animate Uie real Christian,
will satisfy every mind open to cooTiction, that the Doctrines (here taaght
were tau«;ht by the Apostles ; and will teach erery Minister, that to preach
Christ Crucified is the only way to secare the co-operation of the Holy Spirit.
The account given by Brainbrd of the Doctrines which be preached to the
Indians, and their visible Effects; of his method of learning their language; of
his plat I of Instruction ; and of the Difficulties in the way of Christianizing them,
will also be peculiarly useful to the Missionary ; while the Diary at large will
furnish him an example of selMenial, of patience under privations and sufferings,
and of glorving in infirmities, which Paul himself would have respected and loved.
On the whole, the Editor is convinced that few works hitherto published, are cal-
culated to be equally useful to the Church at large, or to the individual
Christian ; and, with these views concerning it, he cheerfully commends it to
the blessing of Almighty God ; without which the Word ofLifCy itself, becomes
a " savour of death unto death.^^
PREACHED IN NEWARK, JUNE 12, 1744,
AT THE
ORDINATION OF MR. DAVID BRAINERD,
A MISSIONABY TO THE INDIANS
ON THE
BORDERS OF NEW YORK, NEW JERSEY AND PENNSYLVANIA,
BY EBENEZER PEMBERTON, A. M.
FASTOB OF THE FBESBYTEBIAN CBUKCH
IN TBB CITT OF HBW TORK.
Vol. X. -^
ORDINATION 8ER?»ION.
Luke xiv. 23.
And the Lord said unto the servant^ Go out into the highways
and hedges^ and compel them to come in, that my house may
bejilled.
God erected this visible world as a monument of his glory,
a theatre for the display of his adorable perfections. The
heavens proclaim his wisdom and power in shining characters,
and the whole earth is full of his goodness. Man was in his origi-
nal creation excellently fitted for the service of God, and for
perfect happiness in the enjoyment of the divine favour. But
sin has disturbed the order of nature, defaced the beauty of the
most disconsolate circumstances of guilt and misery.
The all-seeing eye of God beheld our deplorable state ; infi-
nite pity touched the heart of the Father of mercies ; and infi-
nite wisdom laid the plan of our recovery. The Majesty of
heaven did not see meet to suffer the enemy of mankind eter-
nally to triumph in his success ; nor leave his favourite work-
manship irrecoverably to perish in the ruins of the apostacy.
By a method, which at once astonishes and delights the spirits
above, he opened a way for the display of his mercy, without
any violation of the sacred claims of his justice ; in which, the
honour of the law is vindicated, and the guilty offender acquitted,
sin is condemned, and the sinner eternally saved. To accom-
plish this blessed design, the beloved Son of God assumed the
nature of man : in our nature died a spotless sacrifice for sin ;
by the atoning virtue of his blood " he made reconciliation for
iniquity," and by his perfect obedience to the law of God,
" brought in everlasting righteousness.''
Having finished his work upon earth, before he ascended to
his heavenly Father, he commissioned the ministers of his king-
dom to "preach the gospel to every creature." He sent them
forth to make the extensive offers of salvation to rebellious sin-
ners, and by all the methods of holy violence to "compel them
to come in/' and accept the invitations of his grace. We
have a lively representation of this in the parable^ in which our
text is contained.
12 pemberton's sermon
The evident design of it is, under the figure of a marriage
mpper^ to set forth the plentiful provision, which is made in
our Lord Jesus Christ for the reception of his .people, and the
freedom and riches of divine grace, which invites the most un-
worthy and miserable sinners, to partake of this sacred enter-
tainment. The first invited guests were the Jews, the favourite
people of God, who were heirs of divine love, while the
rest of the world were " aliens firom the commonwealth of Israel
and strangers fi-om the covenants of promise :" but these,
through the power of prevailing prejudice, and the influence
of carnal affections, obstinately rejected the invitation, and
were therefore finally excluded from these invaluable bless-
ing.
But it was not the design of infinite wisdom, that these cost-
ly preparations should be lost, and the table he had spread re-
main unfurnished with guests. Therefore he sent forth his
servant " into the streets and lanes of the city," and command-
ed him to bring in " the poor, the maimed, the halt, and the
bhnd" — L e. the most necessitous and miserable of mankind ;
yea, to "go out into the highways and hedges," to the wretch-
ed and perishing Gentiles, and not only invite, but even "com-
pel them to come in, that his house might be filled."
The words of the text represent to us,
J. The melancholy state of the Gentile world. They are de-
scribed as " in the highways and hedges," in the most
perishing and helpless condition.
II. The compassionate care^ which the blessed Redeemer
takes of them in these their deplorable circumstances.
He " sends out his servants" to them, to invite them
to partake of the entertainments of his house.
III. The duty of the ministers of the gospel, to " compel them
to come in" and accept of his gracious invitation.
These I shall consider in their order, and then apply
them to the present occasion.
I. I am to consider the melancholy state of the Heathen
world while in the darkness of nature, and destitute of divine
revelation. It is easy to harangue upon the excellency and ad-
vantage of the light of nature. It is agreeable to the pride of
mankind to exalt the powers of human reason, and pronounce
it a sufficient guide to eternal happiness. But let us inquire
into the records of antiquity^ let us consult the experience of all
ages, and we shall find, that those who had no guide but the
light of nature, no instructor but unassisted reason, have wan-
dered in perpetual uncertainty, darkness, and error. Or let us
take a view of the present state of those countries that have not
been illuminated by the gospel? and we shall see, that notwith-
AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATIOX. 13
Standing the improvements of near six thousand years, they re-
main to this day covered with the ^ossest darkness, and aban-
doned to the most immoral and vicious practices.
The beauty and good order every where discovered in the visi-
ble frame of nature, evidences, beyond all reasonable dispute,
the existence of an infinite and Almighty Cause, who first gave
being to the universe, and still preserves it by his powerful pro-
vidence. Says the apostle to the Gentiles, (Rom. i. 20.) "The
invisible thmgs of God, from the creation of the world, are
clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even
his eternal power and Godhead." And yet many, even among
the philosophers of the Gentile nations, impiously denied the
eternal Deity, from whose hands they received their existence ;
and blasphemed his infinite perfections, when surrounded with
the clearest demonstrations of his power and goodness. Those
whoBcknowledged a Deity, entertained the most unworthy con-
ceptions of his nature and attributes, and worshipped the crea-
ture^ in the place of the Creator^ " who is God blessed for
ever." Not only the illustrious heroes of antiquity, and the
public benefactors of mankind, but even the most despicable
beings in the order of nature, were enrolled in the catalogue
of their gods, and became the object of their impious adora-
tion* "They changed the glory of the incorruptible God into
an image made like to corruptible man, to birds and four-footed
beasts, and creeping things." Rom. i. 23.
A few of the sublimest geniuses of Rome and Athens, had
some faint discoveries of the spiritual nature of the soid^ and
formed some probable conjectures, that man was designed for
a future state of existence. When they considered the exten-
sive capacities of the human mind, and the deep impressions
of futurity engraven in every breast, they could not but infer,
that the soul was immortal, and at death would be translated
to some new and unknown state. When they saw the virtu-
ous oppressed with various and successive calamities, and the
vilest of men triumphing in prosperity and pleasure, they en-
tertained distant hopes, that, in a future revolution, these seem-
ing inequalities would be rectified, these inconsistencies remo-
ved ; the righteous distinguishingly rewarded, and the wicked
remarkably punished. But after all their inquiries upon this
important subject, they attained no higher than some probable
conjectures, some uncertain expectations. And when they
came to describe the nature and situation of these invisible
regions of happiness or misery, they made the wildest
guesses, and run into the most absurd and vain imaginations.
The heaven they contrived for the entertainment of the virtuous
was made up of sensual pleasures, beneath the dignity of hu-
man nature, and inconsistent with perfect fehcity. The hell
they described for the punishment of the vicious, consisted in
14 PEMBERTON^S SERMON
ridiculous terrors, unworthy the belief of a rational and religious
creature.
Their practices were equally corrupt with their principles.
As the most extravagant errors were received amon^ the estab-
lished articles of their faith, so the most infamous vices obtain-
ed in their practice, and were indul&ed not only with impunity,
but authorized by the sanction of meir laws. They stupidly
erected altars to idols oLivood and stone; paid divine honours
to those who in their lives had been the greatest monsters of
lust and cruelty ; yea, offered up their sons and daughters Us
sacrifices to devils. The principles of honour, the restraints
of shame, the precepts of their philosophers, were all too weak
to keep their corruptions within any tolerable bounds. The
wickedness of their hearts broke through every inclosure, and
deluged the earth with rapine and violence, blood and slaugh-
ter, and all manner of brutish and detestable impurities. It is
hardly possible to read the melancholy description of the prin-
ciples and manners of the Heathen world, given us by St.
Paul, without horror and surprise ; to think that man, once the
"friend of God" and ** the lord of this lower world," should
thus " deny the God that made him," and bow down to dumb
idols^ should thus, by lust and intemperance, degrade himself
into the character of the beast^ ^*- which hath no understand-
ing ;" and by pride, malice, and revenge, transform himself
into the very image of the devil, ** who was a murderer from
the beginning."
This was the state of the Gentile nations, when the light of
the gospel appeared to scatter the darkness that overspread the
face of the earth. And this has been the case, so far as has yet
appeared, of all the nations ever since, upon whom the Sun of
righteousness has not arisen with healing in his wings. Every
new discovered country opens a new scene of astonishing ig-
norance and barbarity ; and gives us fresh evidence of the
universal corruption of human nature.
II. I proceed now to consider the compassionate care and
kindness of our blessed Redeemer towards mankind, in these
their deplorable circumstances. He " sends out his servants"
to invite them " to come in," and accept the entertainment of
his house.
God might have left his guilty creatures to have eternally suf-
fered the dismal effects of their apostacy, without the least im-
putation of injustice, or violence of his infinite perfections.
The fall was the consequence of man's criminal choice, and
attended with the highest s^gravations. The angels that sin-
ned were made examples of God's righteous severity, and are
reserved " in chains" of guilt " to the judgment of a great day."
Mercy, that tender attribute of the divine nature, did not inter-
AT brainerd's ordination. 15
pose iu their behalf, in order to suspend the execution of their
sentence or to avert God^s threatened displeasure. Their pun'
ishment is unalterably decreed, their judgment is irreversiole ;
they are the awful monuments of revenging wrath, and are
condemned ^^to blackness of darkness forever/^ Now justice
might have shown the same inflexible severity to rebellious man
and have left the universal progeny of Adam to perish in their
guilt and misery. It was unmerited mercy that distinguished
the human race, in providing a Saviour for us ; and it was the
most signal compassion that revealed the counsels of heaven
for our recovery.
But though justice did not oblige the divine Being to provide
for our relief, yet the goodness of the indulgent Father of the
universe inclined him to show pity to his guilty creatures, who
fell from their innocence through the sm>tlety and malice of
seducing and apostate spirits. It was agreeable to the divine
wisdom to disappoint the devices of Satan, the enemy of God
and goodness, and recover the creatures he had made from
their subjection to the powers of darkness.
He therefore gave early discoveries of his desij^s of mercy
to our first parents, and immediately upon the apostacy open-
ed a door of hope for their recovery, lie revealed a Saviour
to the ancient Patriarchs, under dark types and by distant pro-
mises; made clearer declarations of his will, as the appointed
time drew near, for the accomplishment of the promises, and
the manifestation of the Son of God in human flesh. -''And
when the fulness of time was come, God sent forth his Son,
made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that
were under the law, that he might receive the adoption of
sons."
This divine and illustrious person left the bosom of his Fa-
ther, that he might put on the character of a servant ; descend-
ed from the glories of heaven, that he might dwell on this
inferior earth ; was made under the law, that he might fulfil all
righteousness ; submitted to the infirmities of human nature, to
the sorrows and sufferings of an afflicted life, and to the ago-
nies of a painfiil ignominious death on a cross, that he might
destroy the power of sin, abolish the empire of death, and
purchase immortality and glory for perishing man.
While our Lord Jesus resided in this lower world, he preach-
ed the glad tidings of salvation, and published the kingdom of
God ; confirming his doctrine by numerous and undoubted mira-
cles, and recommending his instructions by the charms of a
spotless life and conversation. He sent forth his apostles. to
pursue the same gracious design of gospellizing the people
and furnishing them with sufficient powers to proselyfe the na-
tions to the faith. He also appointed a standing ministry, to
carry on a treaty of peace with rebellious pinners, in the sue-
Iti PEMBERTON^S SERMON'
cessive ages of the church, to continue till the number of the
redeemed is completed, and the whole election of grace placed
in circumstances of spotless purity and perfect happiness.
These ministers are styled " the servants of Christ," by way
of eminence ; they are in a peculiar manner devoted to the
service of their divine Master : from him they receive their
conmiission ; and by him they are appointed to represent his
person, preside in his worship, and teach the laws of his king-
dom. To assume this character without being divinely called,
and regularly introduced into this sacred office, is a bold inva-
sion of Christ's royal authority, and an open violation of that or-
der which he established in his church. These not only derive
their mission from Christ, but it is his doctrine they are to
preach, and not the inventions of their own brain ; — it is his
glory they are to promote, and not their own interest or
honour. Their business is not to propagate the designs of a
party, but the common salvation^ and to" beseech all, in Christ's
name, to be reconciled unto God."
The Apostles, the primitive heralds of the everlasting gos-
pel, were sent to make the first tender of salvation to " the
lost sheep of the house of Israel;" and they were command-
ed to begin at Jerusalem, the centre of the Jewish common-
wealth. But when the Jews obstinately persisted in their im-
penitence arid unbelief, they were commissioned "to preach
the gospel to every creature under heaven :" the sinners of the
Gentiles were invited to come in^ and accept of the oflFers of
salvation.
The prophets pointed out a Messiah that was to come, and
proclaimed the joyful approach of a Redeemer at the time ap-
pointed in the sovereign counsels of heaven. The ministers
of the gospel now are sent to declare, that the prophecies are
accompUshed, the promise fulfilled, justice satisfied, salvation
purchased ; and all that will come in^ shall receive the blessings
of the gospel. They are not only free to invite sinners of all
orders and degrees, of all ages and nations ; but to assure them,
that " all things are now ready," and to use the most powerful
and persuasive methods, that they may engage them to comply
with the heavenly call. Which brings me to the third thing
proposed,* tn^:
III. To show, that it is the great duty of the ministers of the
gospel " to compel sinners to come in," and accept of the bles-
sings of the gospel. This is so plainly contained in my text,
that I shall not multiply arguments to confirm it. My only
business shall be to explain the nature of this compulsion, or
show in what manner sinners are to be " compelled to come
in" to the christian church. And sure I am, not by the de-
ceitful methods of fraud and disguise, nor the inhuman prac-
tices of persecution and violence. This text, indeed, has
AT braixerd's ordination. IT
often been alleged by the persecuting bigots of all ages, and
applied to support the cause of religious tyranny; to the in-
finite scandal of the Christian name and the unspeakable
detriment of the Christian interest. By this means, the enemies
of our most holy faith have been strengthened in their infi-
delity, the weak have been turned aside from " the truth as
it is in Jesus,'' and the peaceable kingdom of the Messiah
transformed into a field of blood, a scene of hellish and horrid
cruelties. If this were the compulsion recommended in the
gospel, then absolute unrelenting tyrants would be the proper
and most infallible teachers ; then racks and tortures would be
the genuine and most successfiil method of propagating the
faith. But surely every thing of this kind, every violent and
driving measure, is in direct opposition to the precepts and
example of our blessed Saviour, and contrary to the very
^nius of his gospel, which proclaims " Glory to God in the
highest, on earth peace, good will towards men."*
The princes of this world exercise a temporal dominion over
mankind, and by fines levied on their estates, and punishments
inflicted on their bodies, force men to an outward subjection
to their authority and government. But the kingdom of our
Lord is of a spiritual nature ; he erects his empire in the hearts
of men, and reigns over " a willing people in the day of his
power," External violence may necessitate men to an exter-
nal profession of the truth, and procure a dissembled compliance
with the institutions of Christ ; but can never enlighten the
darkness of the mind, conquer the rebellion of the will, nor
sanctify and save the soul. It may transfigure men into accom-
pUshed hypocrites ; but will never convert them into real
saints.
The gospel was originally propagated by the powerful
preaching of Christ and his apostles, by the astonishing mira-
cles which they wrought in confirmation of their doctrine, and
the exemplary lives by which they adorned their profession and
character. Instead of propagating their religion by the des-
tructive methods of fire and sword, they submitted to the rage
and cruelty of a malignant world with surprising patience, and
sacrificed their very lives in the cause of God, without any
intemperate discoveries of anger and resentment. Instead of
calling for "fire from heaven" to destroy their opposers, they
compassionated their ignorance, instructed them with meekness^
counselled and exhorted them with " all long suffering and doc-
trine," and even spent their dying breath in praying for their
conviction and conversion, that they might be saved in the day
of the Lord Jesus.
-^ Luheii. 14.
Vol. X. 3
l^ pemberton's sermon
Now, in imitation of these primitive doctors of the Christian
church, these wise and successful preachers of the gospel, it is
the duty of the ministers of the present day, to use the same
methods of compassion and friendly violence, A disinterested
zeal for the glory of God, a steadfast adherence to the truth,
and unshaken fidelity in our Master's cause, with universal be-
nevolence to mankind, must constantly animate our public dis-
courses, and be conspicuous in our private conversation and be-
haviour. We must diligently endeavour to convince the un-
derstandings, engage the affections, and direct the practice of
our hearers. Upon this head, it may not be amiss to descend
to a few particulars.
I. Ministers are to "compel sinners to come in," by setting
before them their "guilty and perishing condition by nature."
Sinners are naturally fond of carnal ease and security ; they
are delighted with their pleasant and profitable sins ; they even
" drink m iniquity like water," with great greediness, with in-
satiable thirst, and incessant gratification, but without fear or
remorse. Upon this account, there is the highest necessity to
sound an alarm in their ears, that they may be awakened, to
see and consider their dangerous state ; or else they will never
be excited to "flee from the wrath to come." The secure
sinner is insensible of his want of a saviour : "The whole need
not a physician, but they that are sick."
To this end, the ministers of the gospel are to set "the terrors
of the Lord" in array against the sinner, and let him hear the
" thunder of divine curses," that utter their voice against the
unbelieving. They are to represent in the clearest light, and
with the most convincing evidence, the evil of sin, and the dan-
ger to which it exposes ; that "wrath from heaven is revealed
against all ungodlmess and unrighteousness of men ;"* that the
flaming sword of incensed justice is unsheathed, and the arm of
the Almighty ready to destroy such as are "going on still in their
trespasses," impenitent, and secure. They are not only thus to
show them their danger, but to set before them at the same time
their wretched and helpless circumstances ; — that no human eye
can successfully pity them nor any created arm bring them ef-
fectual deliverance; — that while m a state of unregenerate na-
ture, they are destitute of strength to perform any acceptable
service to the blessed God, and unable to make any adequate
satisfaction to offended justice ; — that indeed they can neither
avoid the divine displeasure, nor endure the punishment that is
due to their crimes. Thus, by a faithful application of the law
and its threatenings, we should endeavour, by God's blessing,
to make way for the reception of the gospel and its promises.
«
* Rom. i. 18.
AT brainerd's ordination. 19
This was the wise method observed by our blessed Saviour,
the first preacher of the Gospel, and by the aposdes, his inspired
successors. So John the Baptist, who served as " the morning
star" to usher in the appearance of the Sun of righteousness,
did thus " prepare the way of the Lord,'' by enlightening the
minds of men in the knowledge of their guilt and misery, and
inciting them to flee from the " damnation of hell," The three
thousand that were converted to the faith at one sermon, in the
infancy of the Christian church, were first awakened with a
sense of their aggravated guilt, in " crucifying the Lord of
glory ;'' and brought in agony and distress to cry out, " Men
and brethren, what shall we do ?''*
The method, I confess is disagreeable to the sentiments and
inclinations of a secure world ; and may expose us to the re-
proach of those " that are at ease in Zion :" but is agreeable
to the dictates of an enlightened mind, conformable to the
plan laid down in the sacred scriptures, and has in all ages ap«
proved itself the most successful method of promoting the in-
terests of real and vital religion.
2. They are to " compel sinners to come in," by a lively
representation of the power and grace of our Almighty Re-
deemer. Not all the thunder and terror of curses from Mount
Ebal, not all the tremendous " wrath revealed from heaven
against the ungodly," not all the anguish and horror of a
wounded spirit in an awakened sinner, are able to produce an
unfeigned and efiectual compliance with the gospel terms of
mercy. The ministry of the law can only give the knowledge
ofsin^ rouse the sinner's conscience, and alarm his fears : it is
the dispensation of ^roce, that sanctifies and saves the souL
Nor is the former needful, but in order to the latter. So
much conviction as gives us a sight of our sin and misery, as
inclines us to " flee from the wrath to come," and disposes us
to submit to the gospel-method of salvation " by grace through
faith," by sovereign mercy through the Mediator, so much is ne-
cessary ; and more is neither requisite, nor useful, nor desirable.
It is not the oflSce of preachers to be perpetually employed
in the language of terror, or exhaust their strength and zeal in
awakening and distressing subjects. No ; but as it is their dis-
tinguishing character, that they are ministers of the gospel^ so
it is their peculiar business to " preach the unsearchable riches
of Christ." The person, and offices, and love of the great
Redeemer, the merits of his obedience, and purchases of his
cross, the victories of his resurrection, the triumphs of his as-
cension, and prevalence of his intercession, the power of his
Spirit, the greatness of his salvation, the freeness of his grace*
* Acts ii. 36, r:.
20 PEMBERTOX'S SERMON
i&c.; these are to be the chosen and delightful subjects of their
discourses. They are to represent him as one — who has com-
pletely answered the demands of the law, rendered the Deity
propitious to the sinner, and upon this account is able eternally
to save us from the vengeance of an offended God ; — who is
clothed with Almighty power, to subdue the inveterate habits
of sin, sanctify our polluted nature, and restore us to spiritual
health and purity ; who is Lord of the visible and invisible
worlds^ who knows how to defeat the most artful devices of
Satan, and will finally render his people victorious over their
most malicious and implacable adversaries ; — who having
" made reconciliation for iniquity" upon the cross, is pleading
the merits of his blood in heaven, and powerfully interceding
for all suitable blessings in behalf of his people ; — ^^ who is
there exalted as a Prince and a Saviour to give repentance and
remission of sins ;* and is able to save unto the uttermost all
those that come to God in and through him ;"t — in fine, who
from his illustrious throne in glory, stoops to look down with
pity upon guilty and perishing sinners, stretches forth the scep-
tre of grace, and opens the everlasting arms of his mercy to
receive them. These peculiar doctrines of the gospel they are
frequently to teach, upon these they are to dwell with constant
pleasure, that sinners may be persuaded to hearken to the mvi-
ting voice of divine love, and put their trust in this Almighty
and compassionate Saviour. In order to which,
3. They are to show sinners the mighty encouragement^
that the gospel gives them to accept of Christy and salvation
through his merits and righteousness. As for ignorant pre-
sumcrs, these hear the glad tidings of the gospel with a fatal
indifference ; and say in their hearts, " they shall have peace,"
though they go on in their evil way, stupidly " neglecting so
freat salvation," and regardless of eternal things. But awa-
ened minds are rather apt to draw the darl^st conclusions with
respect to their case, and to judge themselves excluded from
the invitations of the gospel. Sometimes they imagine that
the number arid aggravations of their sins exceed the designs
of pardoning mercv : — at other times, that they have so long
resisted the heavenly call, that now the gate of heaven is irre-
coverably barred against them : — and satan further suggests,
that it would be the height of presumption in them to lay claim
to the blessings of the gospel, till better prepared for the divine
reception. Upon such imaginary aiid false grounds as these,
multitudes of the invited guests make excuses^ and exclude
themselves from the " marriage supper of the Lamb." It is
therefore the business of the servants of Christ to show that
•' there is yet room," even for the greatest and vilest sinners to
* Acts V. 31. tHeb.vii. 25.
AT BRAINERD's ORDINATIOX, 3l
come m, and partake of the gospel-festival ; that ^^ all thmgs are
now ready," for their welcome entertainment ; — that the door
is still open^ and there is free access, not only for those who
have escaped the grossest pollutions of the world, but even " for
the chief of sinners," whose guilt is of a crimson colour and a
scarlet dye ; that neither the number nor aggravations of their
iniquities will exclude them a share in the divine mercy, if now
they submit to the sceptre of grace ; — that whatever their con-
dition and circumstances may be, it is of present obligation
upon them to accept the gospel call, and their instant duty to
come in ; the Master invites them " to come to him, that they
may have life ;" and " whosoever do so," the Master of the
house assures them, that " he will in no wise cast them ouL"*
4. They are to exhibit the unspeakable advantages that will
attend a compliance with the gospel call. I know, indeed, the
religion of Jesus is by its enemies often represented in the most
frightful and hideous colours ; particularly as laying an unrea-
sonable restraint on the liberties of mankind, and sinking them
into melancholy enthusiasts. It becomes us, therefore, who
are " set for the defence of the gospel," to endeavour the re-
moving of this groundless prejudice, and to convince mankind
by the light of reason and scripture, that " the ways of wis-
dom are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace :"
that verily a life of faith in the blessed Redeemer is the way to
be happy, both here and hereafter.
Oh, what more honourable than to be " a child of God, an
heir of the kingdom of heaven !" What more pleasing than
to look back, and behold our past iniquities all buried m the
depths of eternal oblivion ; — than to look forward and view
our dear Saviour acknowledging us his friends and favourites,
and adjudging us to a state oi unperishing glory ? What more
advantageous than to have the divine favour engaged for our
]|brotection, the promises of divine grace for our consolation,
and an assured title to " an inheritance undefiled, incorruptible
and eternal ?" This is the portion of the true believer. These
the privileges that attend a compliance with the gospel-call.
These things are to be represented in such a manner as may
tend to captivate the hearts of men, and engage them in a
solicitous care and resolution to renounce the degrading servi-
tude of sin, and resign themselves to the power of redeeming
grace. Thus by the most effectual and persuasive methods,
the ministers of Jesus are to compel sinners ^^ to come in, that
his house may be filled."
It was not in my design, to consider the duty of the ministry
in its just extent ; but only to insist upon those things that more
properly belong to my subject, and lie directly in the view of
* John Ti. 37.
'^ PEMBERTON^S SERMOST
my text — It will now doubtless be expected, that I applt my
discourse more immediately to the present occasion^
And suffer me dear Sir, in the first place, to address myself
to you, who are this day coming under a public consecration
to the service of Christ, " to bear his name among the Gentiles ;
to whom the Master is now sending you forth, to compel them
to come in, that his house may be filled." We trust you are a
chosen vessel^ designed for extensive service in this honourable,
though difficult employnient. We adore the God of nature,
who has furnished you with such endowments as suit you to
this important charge. We adore the great Head of the
Church for the nobler gifts and graces of his Spirit ; by which,
we trust, you are enabled to engage in this mission with an ar-
dent love to God, the universal Father of mankind, with a
disinterested zeal for the honour of Christ, the compassionate
friend of sinners, and with tender concern for the perishing
souls of a ^^ people that sit in darkness, and in the shadow of
death ;'' who have for many ages been wandering out of the way
of salvation, " without Christ, and without God in the world."
The work of the ministry, in every place, has its difficulties
and dangers, and requires much wisdom, fortitude, patience,
and self-denial, to discharge it in a right manner, with an en-
couraging prospect of success : but greater degrees of pru-
dence, humility, and meekness, mortification to the present
world, holy courage, and zeal for the honour of God our Sa-
viour, are necessary where any are called to minister the gos-
pel unto those .who through a long succession of ages have
dwelt in the darkness of heathenism, have from their infancy
imbibed inveterate prejudices against the Christian faith, and
from time immemorial been inured to many superstitious and
idolatrous practices, directly opposite to the nature and design
of the gospel. '^^
What heavenly skill is required, to convey the supernatural
mysteries of the gospel into the minds of uninstructed Pagans,
who are " a people of a strange speech and hard language ?"
— What deep self-denial is necessary, to enable you cheerfully
to forsake the pleasures of your native country, with the agree-
able society of your friends and acquaintance, to dwell among
those who inhabit not indeed " the highways and hedges," but
uncultivated deserts, and the remotest recesses of the wilder-
ness ? — What unwearied zeal and diligence, to proselyte those
to the faith of the gospel, who have quenched the light of rea-
son, and by their inhuman and barbarous practices have placed
themselves upon a level with the brute creation ?
Methinks 1 hear you crying out, " who is sufficient for these
things !" — And indeed, if you had no strength to depend upon
bat vour own, — no encouragement but from human assistance-
AT BBAINERD'S ORDINATIOX. 23
vou might justly sink down in despair and utter the passionate
language of Moses, " O my Lord, send, I pray thee, by the
hand of him whom thou wilt send :" thy servant is insufficient
for so great a work.— But it is at the command of Christ, the
great Head of the Church, that you go forth ; who by a train
of surprising providences, has been preparing your way for Ais
iinportant embassy ; and therefore you may be assured, that he
will support you m a faithful discharge of your duty, accept
your unfeigned desires to promote the interests of his kingdom,
and finally reward your imperfect services with his gracious
approbation. You have his divine promise for your security
and consolation ; " Lo ! I am with you alway, even to the end of
the world." This will afford you light in every darkness, de-
fence in every danger, strength in every weakness, and a final
victory over every temptation. If Christ be with you, " in
vain do the Heathen rage," in vain will their confederated
tribes unite their forces to obstruct and discourage you. In-
finite wisdom will be your guide, almighty power your shield,
and God himself " your exceeding great reward." The pre-
sence of your divine Master will make amends for the absence
of your dearest fiiends and relatives. This will transform a
wild and uncultivated desert into a paradise of joy and plea-
sure : and the lonely huts of savages into more delightful ha-
bitations than the palaces of princes.
Let not any difficulties discourage, any dangers then afiright
you. Go forth in the name and strength of the Lord Jesus, to
whom you are now to be devoted in the sacredoffice of the minis-
try. "Be not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for it is the pow-
er of God unto salvation to every one that believeth, to the Jew
first, and also to the Gentile." Let zeal for the honour of God,
and compassion for the souls of men, animate your public dis-
courses and private addresses to the people committed to your
charge. Always remember, that your character is a minister
ofJestAS} and therefore with the inspired doctor of the Gen-
tiles, you "are to know nothing among them, save Christ, and
him crucified." Frequently consider, that the gospel is a di-
vine discipline to purify the heart, and set' up the kingdom of the
Redeemer in the souls of men : and therefore it is not suffi-
cient to bring sinners to a profession of the name of Christ,
and an outward subjection to the institutions of divine worship;
'* You are sent to turn them from darkness to light, and from
the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgive-
ness of sins, and an inheritance among them that are sanctified
by faith tfiat is in Christ." Unless this be effected, (whatever
other improvements they gain,) they are left under the domi-
nion of sin, and exposed to the wrath of God ; and their supe-
rior degrees of knowledge will only serve to light them down
to the regions of death and misery. This then is to be the
24 p£mbsrtOn*s sermon
principal design of your ministry ; for this you are to labour
with unwearied application, and with incessant importunity to
approach the throne of that God, whose peculiar prerogative
it is " to teach us to profit ;" whose grace alone can make
them " a willing people in the day of his power."
And for your encouragement, I will only add : When I con-
sider the many prophecies, in sacred scripture, of the triumph-
ant progress of the gospel in the last ages of the world, I C€m-
not but lift up my head with joy^ in an humble expectation,
that the day draws near^ yea, is even at hand^ when the pro-
mises made to the Son of God shall be more illustriously fulfil-
led : — " when he shall have the Heathen for his inheritance,
and the utmost parts of the earth for his possession ; when his
name shall be great among the Gentiles, and be honoured and
adored from the rising of the sun to the going down of the
same." But if the appointed time is not yet come, and the
attempts made to introduce this glorious day, fail of desired
success, " your judgment will be with the Lord, and your re-
ward with your God." If the Gentiles "be not gathered" in,
you will "be glorious in the eyes of the Lord," who accepts
and rewards his servants according to the sincerity of their de-
sires, and not according to the success of their endeavours.
I shall conclude with a few words to the body of the people,
God our Saviour, in infinite condescension, hath sent his ser-
vants to invite you to come m, and receive the blessings which
infinite wisdom has contrived, and astonishing grace prepared
for your entertainment. And surely, my brethren, it is your
important duty and incomparable interest, not to despise "the
salvation of God sent unto the Gentiles," nor make light of the
gospel message to you.
God has been pleased to employ us the messengers of his
grace, men of like passions with yourselves, subject to the com-
mon infirmities of human nature : but the message comes fi-om
him, who is King of kings and Lord of lords ; whom you are
under the strongest obligations to hear and obey, iii point of
interest, gratitude, and duty.
What gracious and condescending methods has he taken to
allure and invite you ! has he not descended from heaven to
earth ; from the boundless glories of eternity to all the suffer-
ings and afilictions of this mortal life, that he might purchase
and reveal salvation ; that he might engage your love, and per-
suade you to comply with his saving designs ? Does he not
send his " ambassadors to beseech you in nis stead, to be re-
conciled to God?" j
What excuses have you to make, that will stand the trial of
an enlightened conscience, or justify you at the awful tribunal
of God ? will the vanishing enjoyments of sin and sense, or the
perishing riches of this transitory world, make amends for the
AT BRAINERD^S ORDINATION. 25
loss of the divine favour, or support you under the terrors of
eternal damnation ? — Are there any honours comparable to
the dignity and character of a child of God, and a title to the
privileges of his house and family ? Are there any pleasures
equal to the smiles of God's reconciled face, the refreshing
visits of his love, and the immoriBl joys of his salvation ?
But how deplorable, how desperate will be your case, if you
finally refuse the gospel-invitation, and perish in your natural
state of guilt and misery ? the compassionate Jesus, who now
addresses vou in the inviting language of love, will then speak
to you with the voice of terror, and " swear in his wrath, that
you shall never enter into his rest, that you shall never taste of
his supper,'^ the rich provision which he has made for the
eternal entertainment of his suests. " When once the Master
of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door,^' you will
in vain stcmd without and knock for admission.
In a word, Now^ he declares by his servants, that " all things
are ready,'' and all that are bidden shall be welcome, upon
their coming in^ to be partakers of the benefit. The blood of
Christ is now ready, to cleanse you from all your guilt and pol-
lution ; his righteousness is now ready to adorn your naked
souls with the garment of salvation ; his Spirit is now ready
to take possession of you, and make you eternal monuments
of victorious and redeeming grace. " The Spirit and the bride
say. Come ; and whosoever (of the lost and perishing sons of
Adam) will, let him come," and participate of the blessings of
thegospel " freely, without money, and without price." The
arms of everlasting mercy are open to receive you : the treasures
of divine grace are open to supply your wants : and every one of
you that now sincerely accepts this gracious invitation, shall
hereafter be admitted ^^ to sit down with Abraham, Isaac,
and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven." — For which, God of
his infinite mercy prepare us all, through Jesus Christ ; to whom
be glory and dominion world without end. Amen.
Vol. X. 4
PREFACE.
Thebe are two ways of recommending true religion and virtue to
the world : the one, by doctrine and precept ; the other by history
^ and example. Both are abundantly used in the holy scriptures. Not
only are the grounds, nature, design, and importance of religion
clearly exhibited in the doctrines of scripture — ^its exercise and prac-
tice plainly delineated, and abundantly enforced* in its commands
and counsels — but there we have many excellent examples of religion)
in its power and practice, set before us, in the histories both of the
Old and New Testament.
Jesus Christ, the great Prophet of God, when he came to be
<(the light of the world." — to teach and enforce true religion, in a
greater degree than ever had been done before — made use of both
Uiese methods. In his doctrine^ he not only declared more fully the
mind and will of God — ^the nature and properties of that virtue,
which becomes creatures of our constitution, and in our circum-
stances, and more powerfully enforced it by exhibiting the obligations
and inducements to holiness ; but he also in his own practice gave
a most perfect ea;amp2e of the virtue which he taught. He exhibited
to the world such an illustrious pattern of humility, divine love, dis-
creet zeal, self-denid, obedience, patience, resignation, fortitude,
meekness, forgiveness, compassion, benevolence, and universal holi-
ness, as neither men nor angels ever saw before.
God also in bis providence^ has been wont to make use of both
these methods to hold forth light to mankind, and inducements to
their duty, in all ages. He has from time to time raised up eminent
teachers^ to exhibit and bear testimony to the truth by their doctrine^
and to oppose the errors, darkness, and wickedness of the world ;
and he has also raised up some eminent persons who have set bright
examples of that religion which is taught and prescribed in the word
of God ; whose examples havCi in the course of divine providence»
been set forth to public view. These have a great tendency both to
engage the attention of men to the doctrines and rules taught, and
also to confirm and enforce them; especially when these bright
examples have been exhibited in the same persons who have been
eminent teachers. Hereby the world has had opportunity to see a
confirmation of the truth, efficacy, and amiableness of the religion
taught, in the practice of the same persons who have most clearly
and forcibly taught it ; and above all, when these bright examples
have been set by eminent teachers, in a variety of unusual cir-
cumstances of remarkable trial ; and when God has withal» remark-^
ably distinguished them wHh wonderful sticcess in their mstructioQS
and labours.
28 PREFACE.
Such an instance we have in the exceUerU person whose life is pub-
lished in the following pages. His example is attended with a great
variety of circumstances calculated to engage the attention of reli-
gious people, especially in America. He was a man of distinguished
talents, as all are sensible who knew him. As a minbter of the gos-
pel, he was called to unusual services in that work ; and his ministry
was attended with very remarkable and unusual events. His course
of religion began before the late times of extraordinary religious
conmiotion ; yet he was not an idle spectator^ but had a near con-
cern in many things that passed at that time. He had a very ex-
tensive acquaintance with those who have been the subjects of the
late religious operations, in places far distant, in people of different ^
nations, education, manners, and customs. He had a peculiar op-
portunity of acquaintance with the false appearances and counter*
feits of religion ; was the instrument of a most remarkable awaken-
ing, a wonderful and abiding alteration and moral transformatioa of
subjects, who peculiarly render the change rare and astonishing.
In the following account, the reader will have an opportunity to
see, not only what were the extemai circumstances and remarkable
incidents of the hfe of this personi and how he spent his time from
day to day, as to his extemai behaviour, but also what passed in his
aum heart. Here he will see the wonderful change he experienced
in his mind and disposition ; the manner in which that change was
brought to pass ; how it continued ; and what were its consequences
in bis inward frames, thoughts, affections, and secret exercisesi
through many vicissitudes and trials, for more than eight years.
He will also see his sentiments, frame, and behaviour, during a long
season of the gradual and sensible approach of death ; and what
were the effects of his religion in the last stages of his illness. The
account being written, the reader may have opportunity at bis
leisure to compare the various parts of the story, and deliberately to
view and weigh the whole, and consider how far what is related, is
agreeable to the dictates of reason, and the Word of God.
I am far from supposing, that Brain ebd's inward exercises or his
extemai conduct, were free from aU imperfections. The example of
Jesw Christ, is the only perfect example that ever existed in human
nature. It is, therefore, a rule by which to try all other examples ;
and the dispositions, frames, and practices of others, must be com-
mended and followed no further, than they yrere followers of Christ.
There is one thing in Bkainerd, easily discernible by the follow-
ing account of his life, which may be called an imperfection in him,
which, though not properly an imperfection of a moral nature, yet,
may possibly be made an objection against the extraordinary appear-
ances of religion and de\rotion in him, by such as seek for objections
against every thing that can be produced in favour of true, vital re-
ligion ; I refer to the fact, that he was, by his constitution and
natural temper, so prone to meHanchoiy^ and dejection of spirit.
There are some, who think that all religion is a melancholy thing ;
and that what is called Christian experience is little else besides
mdancholy vapours, disturbing the brain, and exciting enthusiastic
imaginations. But that Bbainebi>*s temper or constitution incUned
PREJACK. 29
liim to despondency^ is no just grodnd to suspect his extraordinary
devoUon to have been only the fruit of a warm imagination* All who
have well observed mankind, will readily grant that many of those
who by their natural constitution or temper, are most disposed to de-
jedioni are not the most susceptive of lively and strong impressions
on their imagination, or the most subject to those vehement affectionSf
which are the fruits of such impressions. Many who are of a very
gap and sanguine natural temper are vastly more so ; and if their af«
fections are turned into a religious channel, are much more exposed
to enthusiasm^ than many of the former. As to Brainehd notwith-
standing his inclination to despondency, he was evidently one of those
who Bsually are the farthest from a teeming imagination ; being of a
penetrating genius, of clear thought, of close reasoning, and a very
exact judgment ; as all know who knew him. As he had a great in-
sight into human nature, and was very discerning and judicious in
general ; so he excelled in his judgment and knowledge in divinity,
but especially in experimental religion. He most accurately distin-
guished between real solid piety, and enthusiasm ; between those af-
fections that are rational and scriptural-r-having their foundation in
light and judgment — and those that are founded in whimsical conceits,
strong impressions on the imagination, and vehement emotions of the
animal spirits. He was exceedingly sensible of men's exposedness to
these thmgs ; how much they bad prevailed, and what multitudes had
been deceived by them ; of their pernicious consequences and the
fearful mischief they had done in the Christian world. He greatly
abhorred such a religion, and was abundant in bearing testimony
against it, living and dying ; and was quick to discern when any thing
of that nature arose ; though in its first buddings, and appearing
under the most fair and plausible disguises He had a talent foi des-
cribing the various workings of this imaginary enthusiastic religion —
evincing its falseness and vanity, and demonstrating the great differ-
ence between this, and true spiritual devotion — which I scarcely ever
knew equalled in any person.
His judiciousness did not only appear in distinguishing among the
experiences of others^ but also among the various exercises of his
own mind ; particularly in discerning what within himself was to be
laid to the score of melancholy ; in which he exceeded all melan-
choly persons that ever I was acquainted with. This was doubtless
owing to a peculiar strength in \k\^ judgment ; for it is a rare thing in-
deed, that melancholy people are sensible of their own disease, and
convinced that such things are to be ascribed to it, as are its genuine
operations and fruits. Brainerd did not obtain that degree of skill
at once, but gradually ; as the reader may discern by the following
account of his life. In the former part of his religious course, he im-
puted much of that kind of gloominess of mind, and those dark
thoughts, to spiritual desertion, which in the latter part ot his life he
was abundantly sensible, were owing to the disease of melancholy ;
accordingly he oflen expressly speaks of them in his diary, as arising
from this cause. He oflen in conversation spoke of the difference
between melancholy, and godly sorrow, true humiliation, and spi-
ritual discretion, and the great danger of mistaking the one for the
30 PREFACE.
Other, and the very hurtful nature of melancholy ; discoursing with
great judgment upon it^ and doubtless much more judiciously for what
he knew by his own experience.
But not to argue from Bbainebd's strength of judgment merely, it
is apparent in fact, that he was not a person of a warm imagination.
His inward experiences, whether in his convictions or his conversion,
and his religious views and impressions through the course of his life,
were not excited by strong and lively images formed in his imagina-
tion ; nothmg at all appears of it in his diary from beginning to end.
He told me on his death-bed, that although once, when he was very
young in years and experience, he was deceived into a high opinion
of sunh things — looking on them as superior attainments in religion^
beyond what he had ever arrived at — was ambitious of them, and
earnestly sought them ; yet he never could attain them. He more-
over declared, that he never in his life had a strong impression on his
imagination, of any outward form, external glory, or any thing of
that nature ; which kind of impressions abound among enthustajftic
people.
As Brainf.rd^s religious impressions, views, and affections in their
nature were vastly different from enthusiasm ; so were their effects in
him as contrary to it as possible Nothing, like enthusiasm, puffs
men up with a high conceit of their own wisdom, holiness, eminence,
and sufficiency ; and makes them so bold, forward assuming, and ar-
rogant. But the reader will see that Brain erd's religion constantly
disposed him to a most humble estimation of himself, and abasing
sense of his own sinfulness, unprofitableness and ignorance ; looking
on himself as wor?e than others ; disposing him to universal benevo-
lence and meekness ; in honour to prefer others, and to treat all with
kindnessr and respect And when melancholy prevailed, and though
the effects of it were very prejudicial to him, yet it had not the effects
of enthusittsm ; but operated by dark and discouraging thoughts of
himself, as ignorant, wicked, and wholly unfit for the work of the
ministry, or even to be among mankind. Indeed, at the time just
mentioned, when he had not learned well to distinguish between en-
thusiasm and solid religion, he joined, and kept company with some
who were tinged with no small degree of the former. For a season,
he partook with them in a degree, of their dispositions and beha-
viours ; though, as was observed before, he could not obtain those
things wherein their enthusiasm itself consisted, and so could not be-
come like them in that resspect, however he erroneously desired and
sought it. But certainly it is not at all to be wondered at, that a
youth, a young convert one who had his heart so swallowed up in re-
ligion, and who so earnestly desired its flc/urishing state — and who
had so little opportunity for reading, observation, and experience —
should for a while be dazzled and deceived with the glaring appear-
ances of mistaken devotion and zeal ; especially, considering the ex-
traordinary citcumstances of that day. He told me on his death
bed, that while he was in these circumstances, he was out of his ele-
ment and did violence to himself, while complying in his conduct
with persons of a fierce and imprudent zeal, from his great veneration
of some whom lie looked upon as better than himself. So that it
PaEFACE. 31
would be very unreasonable that his error at that time should never-
theless be esteemed a just ground of prejudice against the whole of
his religion, and his character in general ; especially considering^
how greatly his mind was soon changed, and how exceedingly he af-
terwards lamented his error, and abhorred himself for his imprudent
zeal and misconduct at that time, even to the breaking of his heart,
and ahnost to the overbearing of his natural strength ; and how much
of a Christian spirit he showed, in condemning himself for that mis-
conduct, as the reader will see.
What has now been mentioned of Brainebd, is so far from being a
just ground of prejudice against what is related in the following ac-
count of his life, that, if duly considered, it will render the history
the more serviceable. For by his thus joining for a season with en-
ihusiasts, he had a more full and intimate acquaintance with what be-
longed to that sort of religion ; and so was under better advantages
to judge of the difference between that, and what he finally approved,
and strove to his utmost to promote, in opposition to it. In his testi-
mony against it, and the spirit and behaviour of those who are influ-
ence by it. he also speaks from impartial conviction, and not from
prejudice ; because he thus openly condemns his own former opinions
and conduct, on account of which he had greatly suffered from his
opposerS) and for which some continued to reproach him as long as
he lived.
Another imperfection in Brainerd, which may be observed in the
following account of his life, was his being excessive in his labours ;
not taking due care to proportion his fatigues to his strength Indeed,
the case was very oflen such, by the seeming calls of Providence, as
made it extremely difficult for him to avoid doing more than his
strength would well admit of; yea, his circumstances and the bu-
siness of his mission among the Indians, were such, that great fatigues
and hardships were altogether inevitable. However, he was finally
convinced, that he had erred in this matter, and that he ought to have
taken more thorough care, and been more resolute to withstand
temptation to such degrees of labour as injured his health ; and ac-
cordingly warned his brother, who succeeds him in his mission, to be
careful to avoid this error.
Besides the imperfections already mentioned, it is readily allowed
that there were some imperfections which ran through his whole life,
and were mixed with all his religious affections and exercises ; some
mixture of what was natural, with that which was spiritual ; as it
evermore is in the best saints in this world. Doubtless, natural tem-
per had some influence in the religious exercises and experiences of
Brainero, as it most apparently had in those of David aud Peter, of
John and Paul. There was undoubtedly very often some mixture of
melancholy with true godly sorrow, and real Christian humihty ; some
mixture of the natural fire of youth, with his holy zeal for God ; and
some influence of natural principles, mixed with grace in various
other respects, as it ever was and ever will be with the saints^ while
on this side heaven. Perhaps none were more sensible of Brain-
sbd's imperfections than himself; or could distinguish more accu-
rately than he, between what was naturals and what was spiritual. It
3ii PAEFACE.
is easy for the judicious reader to observe, that his graces ripened,
that the religious exercises of bis heart became more and more pure,
and he more and more distinguishing in his judgment, the longer he
lived. He had much to teach and purify him, and he failed not to
make his advantage.
Notwithstanding all these imperfectionsi every pious and judicious
reader will readily acknowledge, that what is here set before him, is
a remarkable instance of true and eminent piety, in heart and prac-
tice — tending greatly to confirm the reality of vital religion, and the
power of godliness ; — that it is most worthy of imitation, and in
many ways calculated to promote the spiritual benefit of the careful
observer.
The reader should be aware, that what Brainebd wrote in his dia-
ry * out of which the following account of his life is chiefly taken, was
written only for his own private use ; and not to obtain honour and
applause in the world, nor with any design that the world should ever
see it, either while he lived, or after his death ; except a few things
which he wrote in a dying state, after he had been persuaded* with dif-
ficulty^ not entirely to suppress all his private writings. He showed
himself almost invincibly averse to the pnblishing of any part of his
diary after his death ; and when he was thought to be dying at Bos-
ton, gave the most strict, peremptory orders to the contrary. But
being by some of his friends there, prevailed upon to withdraw so
strict and absolute a prohibition, he was finally pleased to yield so fart
as that *^ his papers should be lef^ in my hands, that I might dispose
of them as I thought would be most for God's glory, and the interest
of religion."
But a few days before his death, he ordered some part of bis diary
to be destroyed, which renders the account of his life, the less com-
plete. And there are !>ome parts of his diary here, left out for bre-
vity's sake, which would, i am sensible, have been a great advantage
to the history, if they had been inserted ; particularly the account of
his wonderful success among the Indians ; which for substance, is the
same in his private diary with that which has already been made pub-
lic^ in the journal he kept by order of the society in Scotland, for
their information. That account, I am of opinion, would be more
entertaining and more profitable, if it were published as it is writ-
ten in his diary, in connexion with his secret religion, and the inward
exercises of his mind, and also with the preceding and following parts
of the story of his lifb. But because that account has been publish-
ed already, I have therefore omitted that part. However, this defect
may in a great measure, be made up to the reader- by the public
journal,* But it is time to end this preface, that the reader may be
no longer detained from the history itself.
JONATHAN EDWARDS.
* The extracts in the Journal, are in thia edition for the first time incorporat-
ed with the rest of the Diary.
9 &C.
*/■ "*
CHAPTER I.
From his birth^ to the time when he began to study for
the Ministry,
David Brainerd was born April 20, 1718, at Haddam^ in
Connecticut. His father was Hezekiah Brainerd, Esq. ; one
of his Majesty's council for that colony ; who was the son of
Daniel Brainerd, Esq. ; a justice of the peace, and a deacon
of the Church of Christ in Haddam. His mother was Dorothy
Hobart, daughter of the Rev. Jeremiah Hobart; who preached
a while at Topsfield, then removed to Hempstead on Long-
Island, and afterwards — ^by reason of numbers turning Quakers,
and many others being so irreligious that they would do no-
thing towards the support of the gospel — settled in the work
of the ministry at Haddam ; where he died, in the 85th year of
his age. He went to public worship in the forenoon, and died
in his chair between meetings. This Rev. gentleman was a
son of the Rev. Peter Hobart ; who was, first, minister of the
gospel at Hingham, in the county of Norfolk, in England ; a.nd
owing to the persecution of the Puritans, removed with his
family to New-England, and was settled in the ministry at
Hingham, in Massachusetts. He had five sons, Joshua, Jere-
miah, Gershom, Japheth, and Nehemiah. Joshua was minister
at Southold, on Long-Island. Jeremiah was David Brainerd^s
frandfather. Gershom was minister of Groton, in Connecticut,
apheth was a physician ; he went as surgeon of a ship to Eng-
land, before the time of taking his second degree at college,
and designed to go from thence to the East Indies ; but never
was heard of more. Nehemiah was fellow of Harvard college,
and afterwards minister at Newton in Massachusetts. — The
mother of Dorothy Hobart was a daughter of the Rev. Sa-
muel Whiting, minister of the gospel, first at Boston, in Lincoln-
shire, and afterwards at Lynn in Massachusetts, New England.
He had three sons, who were ministers of the gospel.
David Brainerd was the third son of his parents. They
had five sons and four daughters. Their eldest son is Heze-
VoL. X. r>
34 MEMOIRS OF BRAIK£RD.
kiah Braincrd, Esq. ; a justice of the peace, and for seveml years
past, a representative of the town of Haddam, in the general as-
sembly of Connecticut ; the second was the Rev. Nehemiah
Brainerd, a worthy minister at Eastbury in Connecticut, who
died of a consumption, Nov. 10, 1742; the fourth is Mr. John
Brainerd, who succeeds his brother David, as missionary to the
Indians, and pastor of the same church of Christian Indians in
New Jersey ; and the fifth was Israel, lately student at Yale-
College, in New-Haven, who died since his brother David. —
Mrs. Dorothy Brainerd having lived about five years a widow,
died when her son, of whose life I am about to give an account,
was about fourteen years of age : so that in his youth he was
left both fatherless and motherless. What account he has
given of himself, and his own life, may be seen in what follows.*
"I was from my youth somewhat sober, and inclined to
melancholy ; but do not remember any thing of conviction of
sin, worthy of remark, till I was I believe about seven or
eight years of age. Then I became concerned for my soul,
and terrified at the thoughts of death ; and was driven ta the
Eerformance of religious duties ; but it appeared a melancholy
usiness, that destroyed my eagerness for play. And though,
alas! this religious concern was but short-lived, I sometimes
attended secret prayer ; and thus lived at " ease in Zion, with-
out God in the world," and without much concern, as I remem-
ber, till I was above thirteen years of age. In the winter of
1732, I was roused out of this carnal security, by I scarce
know what means at first ; but was much excited by the pre-
valence of a mortal sickness in Haddam. I was frequent, con-
stant, and somewhat fervent in prayer ; and took delight in
reading, especially Mr. Janeway's Token for children, I felt
sometimes much melted in the duties of religion, took great
delight in the performance of them, and sometimes hoped that
I was converted, or at least in a good and hopeful way for
heaven and happiness ; not knowing what conversion was.
The Spirit of God at this time proceeded far with me. I was
remarkably dead to the world ; my thoughts were almost whol-
ly employed about my soul's concerns ; and I may indeed say^
" Almost I was persuaded to be a Christian." I was also ex-
ceedingly distressed and melancholy at the death of my mo-
ther, in March, 1732. But afterwards my religious concern
began to decline, and by degrees I fell back into a consider-
able degree of security, though I still attended secret prayer.
* In Mr. Brainerd's account of himself here, and continued in his Diary^
the reader will find a growing interest and pleasure as he proceeds ; in which
IS beautifully exemplified what the inspired penman declares, "The path of the
.lUst 18 as the morning light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day."
And indeed even his diction and style of writing assume a gradual improyement.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 35
« Aboat the 15th of April, 1733, 1 removed from my father's
house to East-Haddam, where I spent four years ; but still
*♦ without God in the world," though, for the most part, I went
a round of secret duty. I was not much addicted to the com-
fany and amusements of the young; but this I know, that when
did go into such company, I never returned with so good a
conscience as when I went. It always added new guilt, made
me afraid to come to the throne of grace, and spoiled those
good frames with which I was wont sometimes to please myself.
But, alas ! all my good frames were but self-righteousness,
not founded on a desire for the glory of God.
** About the latter end of April, 1737, being full nineteen
years of age, I removed to Durham, to work on my farm, and
so continued about one year ; frequently longing, from mere na-
tural principles, after a liberal education. When about twenty
years of age, I applied myself to study ; and was now engaged
more than ever in the duties of religion. I became very strict
and watchful over my thoughts, words, and actions ; concluded
that I must be sober indeed, because I designed to devote my-
self to the ministry, and imagined that I did dedicate myself to
the Lord.
" Sometime in April, 1738, 1 went to Mr. Fiske's, and lived
with him during his life.* I remember he advised me wholly
to abandon young company, and associate myself with grave
elderly people : which counsel I followed. My manner of life
was now wholly regular, and fiill of religion, such as it was ; for
I read my Bible more than twice through in less then a year,
spent much time every day in prayer and other secret duties,
gave great attention to the word preached, and endeavoured
to my utmost to retain it. So much concerned was I about
religion, that I agreed with some young persons to meet pri-
vately on sabbath evenings for religious exercises, and thought
myself sincere in these duties; and after our meeting was ended
I used to repeat the discourses of the day to myself; recollecting
what I could, though sometimes very late at night. I used oc-
casionally on Monday mornings to recollectt he same sermons ;
experienced a considerable degree of enjoyment in prayer, and
had many thoughts of joining the church. In short, I had a
very g6od outside^ and rested entirely on my duties ; though
I was not sensible of it.
"After Mr. Fiske's death, I proceeded in my studies with
my brother ; was still very constant in religious duties, often
wondered at the levity of professors, and lamented their care-
lessness in religious matters. — Thus I proceeded a considerable
length on a self-righteous foundation ; and should have beeo
■* Mr. Fiske was the pastor of the church in H^d(l9jD.
36 MEMOmS OF BRAI.NERD.
entirely lost and undone, had not the mere mercy of God pre-
vented.
" Sometime in the beginning of winter, 1738, it pleased
God, one Sabbath morning, as I was walking out for prayer,
to give me on a sudden such a sense of my danger^ and the
wrath of God, that I stood amazed, and my former good frames
presently vanished. From the view w^iich 1 had of my sin and
vileness, I was much distressed all that day, fearing that the
vengeance of God would soon overtake me. I was much de-
jected ; kept much alone ; and sometimes envied the birds and
beasts their happiness, because they were not exposed to eternal
misery, as I evidently saw that I was. Thus I lived from day
to day, being frequently in great distress : sometimes there
appeared mountains before me to obstruct my hopes of mercy;
and the work of conversion appeared so great, that I thought
I should never be the subject of it. I used, however, to pray
and cry to God, and perform other duties with great earnestness,
and thus hoped by some means to make the case better.
" Hundreds of times I renounced all pretences of any worth
in my duties, as I thought, even while performing them, and
often confesed to God that I deserved nothing for the very best
of them, but eternal condemnation ; yet still I had a secret hope
oi recommending myself to God by my religious duties. When I
prayed affectionately, and my heart seemed in some measure to
melt, I hoped that God would be thereby moved to pity me.
My prayers then looked with some appearance oi goodness in
them, and I seemed to mourn for sin. Then I could in some
measure venture on the mercy of God in Christ, as I thought ;
though \h^ preponderating thought, \hQ foundation of my hope,
was some imagination oi goodness in my meltings of heart, the
warmth of my affections, and my extraordinary enlargements
in prayer. Though at times the gate appeared so very strait,
that it looked next to impossible to enter ; yet, at other times,
I flattered myself that it was not so very difficult, and hoped I
should by diligence and w^atchfulness soon gain the point.
Sometimes after enlargement in duty and considerable affec-
tion, 1 hoped I had made a good step towards heaven ; and
imagined that God was affected as I was, and would hear such
sincere cries^ as I called them. And so sometimes, when I with-
drew for secret prayer in great distress, I returned comfortable ;
and thus healed myself with my duties.
" In February 1739, 1 set apart a day for secret fasting and
prayer, and spent the day in almost incessant cries to God for
mercy, that he would open my eyes to see the evil of sin, and
the way of life by Jesus Christ. God was pleased that day to
make considerable discoveries of my heart to me. Still I
trusted in all the duties I performed, though there was no
manner of goodness in them ; there being in them no respect
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 37
to the glory of God, nor any such principle in my heart. Yet
God was pleased to make my endeavours, that day, a means
to show me my helplessness in some measurd.
" Sometimes I was greatly encouraged^ and imagined that
God loved me, and was pleased with me, — and thought I should
soon be fully reconciled to God. But the whole was founded
on mere presumption^ arising from enlargement in duty, or
warmth of affections, or some good resolutions, or the like.
And when, at times, great distress began to arise, on a sight of
my vileness, and inability to deliver myself from a sovereign
God, I used to put off the discovery, as what I could not bear.
Once, I remember, a terrible pang of distress seized me ; and
the thought of renouncing myself, and standing naked before
God, stripped of all goodness, was so dreadful to me, that I
was ready to say to it, as Felix to Paul, "Go thy way for this
time.'^ Thus, though I daily longed for greater conviction of
sin ; supposing that I must see more of my dreadful state in
order to a remedy ; yet, when the discoveries of my vile,
wicked heart, were made to me, the sight was so dreadful, and
showed me so plainly my exposedness to danmation, that I
could not endure it. I constantly strove after whatever quaH-
jfications I imagined others obtained before the reception of
Christ, in order to recommend me to his favour. Sometimes I
iek the power of a hard hearty and supposed it must be softened
before Christ would accept of me ; and when I felt any melt-
ings of heart, I hoped now the work was almost done. Hence,
"when my distress still remained, I was wont to murmur at
God's dealings with me ; and thought, when others felt their
hearts softened, God showed them mercy ; but my distress re-
mained still.
'' At times I grew remiss and sluggish^ without any great
convictions of sin, for a considerable time together ; but after
such a season, convictions seized me more violently. One
night I remember in particular, when I was walking solitarily
abroad, I had opened to me such a view of my sin, that I feared
the ground would cleave asunder under my feet, and become
my grave ; and would send my soul quick into hell, before I
could get home. Though I was forced to go to bed, lest my
distress should be discovered by others, which I much feared ;
yet I scarcely durst sleep at all, for I thought it would be a
great wonder if I should be out of hell in the morning. And
though my distress was sometimes thus great, yet I greatly
dreaded the loss of convictions^ and returning back to a state
of carnal security, and to my former insensibility of impending
wrath.; which made me exceedingly exact in my behaviour,
lest I should stifle the motions of God's Holy Spirit. When
at any time I took a view of my convictions, and thought the
jiegree of them to be considerable, I was wont to trust in them :
38 MBMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
but this confidence, and the hopes of soon making some notable
advances towards deliverance, would ease my mind, and I soon
became more senseless and remiss. — Again, when I discerned
my convictions to grow languid, and thought them about to
leave me, this immediately alarmed and distressed me. —
Sometimes I expected to take a large step, and get very far to-
wards conversion, by some particular opportunity or means I
had in view.
" The many disappointments, great distresses and perplexity
which I experienced, put me into a most horrible frame of
contesting with the Almighty ; with an inward vehemence and
virulence, finding fault with his ways of dealing with mankind.
I found great fault with the imputation of Adam's sin to his
posterity : and my wicked heart often wished for some other
way of salvation than by Jesus Christ. Being like the troubled
sea, my thoughts confused, I used to contrive to escape the
wrath of God by some other means. I had strange projects,
full of atheism, contriving to disappoint God's designs and de-
crees concerning me, or to escape his notice, and hide myself
from him. But when, upon reflection, I saw these projects
were vain, and would not serve me, and that I could contrive
nothing for my own relief; this would throw my mind into the
most horrid frame, to wish there was no God, or to wish there
were some other God that could control him. These thoughts
and desires were the secret inclinations of my heart, frequently
acting before I was aware ; but, alas ! they were mine^ although
I was frightened when I came to reflect on them. When I
considered, it distressed me to think, that my heart was so full
of enmity against God ; and it made me tremble, lest his ven-
geance should suddenly fall upon me. I used before to ima-
gine, that my heart was not so bad as the scriptures and some
other books represented it. Sometimes I used to take much
pains to work it up into a good frame, a humble submissive dis-
position ; and hoped there was then some goodness in me.
But, on a sudden, the thoughts of the strictness of the law, or
the sovereignty of God, would so irritate the corruption of my
heart, that 1 had so watched over, and hoped I had brought to
a good frame, that it would break over all bounds, and burst
forth on all sides, like floods of waters when they break down
their dams.
" Being sensible of the necessity of deep humiliation in order
to a saving interest in Christ, I used to set myself to produce in
my own heart the convictions requisite in such a humiliation ;
as, a conviction that God would be just, if he cast me off* for
ever ; that if ever God should bestow mercy on me, it would
be mere grace, though I should be in distress many years first,
and be never so much engaged in duty ; and that God was not
in the least obliged to pity me the more for all past duties.
Mf^MOIRS OF I^RAINERP. 39
cries, and tears. I strove to my utmost to bring myself to a
firm belief of these things and a hearty assent to them ; and
hoped that now I was brought off from myself^ truly humbled,
and that I bowed to the divine sovereignty. 1 was wont to tell
God in my prayers, that now I had those very dispositions of
soul which he required, and on which he showed mercy to
others, and thereupon to beg and plead for mercy to me. But
when I found no relief, and was still oppressed with guilt, and
fears of wrath, my soul was in tumult, and my heart rose
against God, as dealing hardly with me. Yet then my con-
science flew in my face, putting me in mind of my late confes-
sion to God of his justice in my condemnation. This, giving
me a sight of the badness of my heart, threw me again into
distress ; and I wished that I had watched my heart more nar-
rowly, to keep it from breaking out against God's dealings with
me. I even wished that I had not pleaded for mercy on ac-
count of my humiliation ; because thereby I had lost all my
seeming goodness. — Thus, scores of times, I vainly imagined
myself humbled and prepared for saving mercy. While I was
in this distressed, bewildered, and tumultuous state of mind,
the corruption of my heart was especially irritated with the
following things.
1. " The strictness of the divine Law. For I found it was
impossible for me, after my utmost pains, to answer its de-
mands. I often made new resolutions, and as often broke
them. I imputed the whole to carelessness, and the want of
bein^ more watchful, and used to call myself a fool for my
neghgence. But when, upon a stronger resolution, and greater
endeavours, and close application to fasting and prayer, I
found all attempts fail ; then I quarrelled with the law of God,
as unreasonably rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my
outward actions and behaviours, that I could bear with it ; but
I found that it condemned me for my evil thoughts, and sins
of my hearty which I could not possibly prevent. I was ex-
tremely loth to own my utter helplessness in this matter : but
after repeated disappointments, thought that, rather than per-
ish, I could do a little more still ; especially if such and such
circumstances might but attend my endeavours and strivings.
I hoped^ that I should strive more earnestly than ever, if the
matter came to extremity, though 1 never could find the time
to do my utmost, in the manner I intended. This hope of
future more favourable circumstances, and of doing something
great hereafter, kept me from utter despair in myself, and from
seeing myself fallen into the hands of a sovereign God, and
dependent on nothing but free and boundless grace.
2. That faith alone was the condition of salvation ; that
God would not come down to lower terms ; and that he would
not promise life and salvation upon my sincere and hearty
40 xMKMOIRS or BRAINERl*.
prayers and endeavours. That word, Mark xvi» 16, " He that
believeth not, shall be damned," cut off all hope there. — I
found that faith was the sovereign gift of God ; that I could
not get it as of myself; and could not oblige God to bestow
it upon me, by any of my performances. (Eph. ii. 1. 8.) TTltV,
I was ready to say, is a hard sayings who can hear itP J could
not bear, that all I had done should stand for mere nothing ;
as I had been very conscientious in duty, had been exceeding
religious a great while, and had, as I thought, done much
more than many others who had obtained mercy. I confessed
indeed the vileness of my duties ; but then, what made them
at that time seem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them ;
not because I was all over defiled like a devil, and the princi-
ple corrupt from whence they flowed, so that I could not pos-
sibly do any thing that was good. Hence I called what I did
by the name of honest faithful endeavours ; and could not
bear it, that God had made no promises of salvation to them.
3. " That I could not find out lohat faith was ; or what it
was to believe and come to Christ. 1 read the calls of Christ
to the weary and heavy laden ; but could find no way that he
directed them to come in. I thought I would gladly come, if
I knew how ; though the path of duty were never so difiicult.
I read Stoddard's Guide to Christy (which I trust was, in the
hand of God, the happy means of my conversion,) and my
heart Jose against the author ; for though he told me my very
heart all along under convictions, and seemed to be veiy bene-
ficial to me in his directions ; yet here he failed ; he did not
tell me any thing I could do that would bring me to Christ,
but left me as it were with a great gulf between, without any
direction to get through. For I was not yet effectually and
experimentally taught, that there could be no way prescribed,
whereby a natural man cduld, of his own strength, obtain that
which is supernatural^ and which the highest angel cannot give
4. " The sovereignty of God. I could not bear, that it should
be wholly at God's pleasure, to save or damn me, just as he
would. That passage, Rom. ix. 1 1 — ^23. was a constant vex-
ation to me, especially verse 21. Reading or meditating on
this, always destroyed my seeming good fi-ames ; for when I
thought I was almost humbled, and almost resigned, this pas-
sage would make my enmity against the sovereignty of God
appear. When I came to reflect on the inward enmity and
blasphemy, which arose on this occasion, I was the more
afraid of God, and driven further from any hopes of reconcilia-
tion with him. It gave me a dreadful view of myself; I dread-
ed more than ever to see myself in God's hands, at his sove-
reign disposal ; and it made me more opposite than ever to
submit to his sovereignty ; for I thought God designed my
damnation.
MEMOIRS 01* BRAINERD. 41
" All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work
with me ; and I was inwardly pressed to relinquish all sdf"
confidence^ all hopes of ever helping myself by any means
whatsoever. The conviction of my lost estate was som^imes
so clear and manifest before my eyes, that it was as if it had
been declared to me in so many words, ^^ It is done, it is done,
it is for ever impossible to deliver yourself" For about three
or four days my soul was thus greatly distressed. At some
turns, for a few moments, I seemed to myself Zo«^ and undone^
but then would shrink back immediately fron^ the sight, be-
cause I dared not venture myself into the hands of God, as
wholly helpless, and at the disposal of his sovereign pleasure.
I dared not see that important truth concerning myself, that I
was dead in trespasses and sins. But when I had, as it were,
thrust away these views of myself at any time, I felt distressed
to have the same discoveries of myself again ; for I greatly
feared being given over of God to final stupidity. When I
thought of putting it off to a more convenient season^ the con-
viction was so close and powerful, with regard to the present
tim^, that it was the best, and probably the only time, that I
dared not put it off.
" It was the sight of truth concerning myself, truth respect-
ing iny state, as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and
that consequently could make no demands on God for mercy,
but niust subscribe to the absolute sovereignty of the divine
Being; the sight of the truth, 1 say, my soul shrank away
from, and trembled to think of beholding. Thus, he that doth
evil, as all unregenerate men continually do, hates the light of
truth, neither cares to come to it, because it will reprove hi9
deeds, and show him his just deserts, John iii. 26. Sometime
before, I had taken much pains, as I thought, to submit to thp
sovereignty of God ; yet I mistook the thing, — and did not
once imagine, that seeing and being made experimentally sen-
sible of this truth, which my soul now so much dreaded and
trembled at, was the frame of soul which I had so earnestly
desired. 1 had ever hoped, that when I had attained to that
humiliation, which I supposed necessary to precede faith, then
it would not be fair for God to cast me off; but now I saw it
was so far from any goodness in me, to own myself spiritually
dead, and destitute of all goodness, that, on the contrary, my
vumth would be for ever stopped by it; ^d it looked as dread--
fid to me, to see myself, and the relation I stood in to God —
' 1 a sinner and crimmal, and he a great Judge and Sovereign —
as it would be to a poor trembling creature, to venture off some
high precipice. Hence I put it off for a minute or two, and
tried for better circumstances to do it in ; either I must read a
passage or two, or pray first, or something of the like nature ;
or else put off my submission to God's sovereignty with an ob-
VoL, X. 6
f^ MTXOnts OF B&JlI^rTKD.
jecticMi. that I did not know bow to submiL Bat the truth was
I could see no saJeir in owsine mrself in the hands of a sove-'
reign God. and couM lay no claim to any thing better than
.ianinatioD.**
It was about this period that Bbaix£jj> wrote the following
irasment. found amons his MSS. and entitled.
- Seme gloomy ojiul despondimg tkomghis of a soml tmier comci/c-
tions oftim, and concern for its eternal ja/rafiow.^
1. -* I beliere mv case is tingtdar. that none eTer had so
iiianr strange and different thoughts and feelings as L
2. ^ I hare been concerned much longer than many oikers
I have known, or concerning whom I had read, who have been
?a^in^ converted^ and yet I am left.
3. ^ I hare triihsiood the power of conrkfions a long time ;
and therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God
4^ "" I never shall be converted without stronger comridiams
and greater terrors. of cc»iscience.
5. - I do not aim at the glory of God in any thing I do, and
therefore I cannot hope for mercy.
6. -^ I do not see the evil nature of sin^ nor the sin of my
aatmre ; and therefore I am discouraged
7. ^ The more I striee. the more T>lind and hard my heart
LS. and the worse I grow continually.
S. ** I fear that God never showed mercy to one so vile as L
9. ^ I fear that I am not elected j and therefcHe must perish.
10. - I fear that the day of grace is past with me.
11. ^ I fear that I have committed the unpardonable sin.
12. ^ I am an old sinner : and if God had designed m^rcy
for me. he would have called me home to himself before
now."
*- After a considerable time spent in similar exercises and
distresses, one morning, while I was walking in a soUtary place,
as usual, I at once saw that all my contrivances and projects
to effect or procure deliverance and salvation for myself, were
utterly in rain ; I was brought quite to a stand, as finding my-
self totally lost, I had thought many times before, that the
difficulties in my way were very great ; but now I saw, in
another and very different light, that it was for ever impossible
for me to do any thing towards helping or delivering myselC
I then thought of blaming myself, that I had not done more,
and been more engaged, while I had opportunity — for it seem-
ed now as if the season of doing was for ever over and gone —
but I instantly saw, that let me have done what I would, it
ifXKiId no more have tended to my helping myself, than what I
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. !•»
had done; that I had made all the pleas I ever could havt^
made to all eternity ; and that all my pleas were vain. The
tumult that had been before in my mind, was now quieted ;
and I was somewhat eased of that distress which I felt while
struggling against a sight of myself, and of the divine sove-
reignty. I had the greatest certainty, that my state was for-
ever miserable, for all that I could do ; and wondered that I
had never been sensible of it before.
" While I remained in this state, my notions respecting m>
duties were quite different from what I had ever entertained hi
times past. Before this, the more I did in duty, the more hard
I thought it would be for God to cast me off; though at the
same time I confessed, and thought I saw, that there was no
goodness or merit in my duties ; but now, the more I did in
prayer or any other duty, the more I saw that I was indebted
to God for allowing me to ask for mercy ; for I saw that self-
interest had led me to pray, and that I had never once prayed
from any respect to the glory of God. Now I saw that thero
was no necessary connexion between my prayers and the bo-
stowment of divine mercy ; that they laid not the least obliga-
tion upon God to bestow his grace upon me ; and that thero
was no more virtue or goodness in them, than there would be
in my paddling with my hand in the water^ (which was ihv
comparison I had then in my mind ;) and this because they
were not performed from any love or regard to God. I saw
that I had been heaping up my devotions before God, fasting,
praying, &c. pretending, and indeed really thinking sometimes,
that I was aiming at the glory of God ; whereas 1 never once
truly intended it, but only my own happiness. I saw that as I
had never done any thing for God, I had no claim on any
thing from him, but perdition, on account of my hypocrisy and
mockery. Oh, how different did my duties now appear from
what they used to do ! I used to charge them with sin and im-
perfection ; but this was only on account of the wanderings
and vain thoughts attending them, and not because I had no
regard to God in them ; for this I thought I had. But when I
saw evidently that I had regard to nothing but self-interest :
then they appeared a vile mockery of God, self-worship, and a
continual course of lies. — I saw that something worse had at-
tended my duties than barely a few wanderings ; for the whole
was nothing but self-worship^ and an horrid abuse of God.
" I continued, as I remember, in this state of mind, from
Friday morning till the Sabbath evening following, (July 12,
1739,) when .1 was walking again in the same solitary place,
where I was brought to see myself lost and helpless, as before
mentioned. Here, in a mournful melancholy state, 1 was at-
tempting to pray ; but found no heart to engage in that or any
other duty ; my former concern, exercise, and religious aiTec-
\
44 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXEHD.
tions were liow gone. I thought that the Spirit of God had
quite left me ; but still was not distressed ; yet disconsolate, as
if there was nothing in heaven or earth could make me happy.
Having been thus endeavouring to pray — though, as I thought,
very stupid and senseless — ^for near half an hour ; then, as I
was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed
to open to the view and apprehension of my soul. I do not
mean any external brightness, for I saw no such thing; nor do
I intend any imagination of a body of light, somewhere in the
third heavens, or any thing of that nature ; but it was a new
inward apprehension or view that I had of 6rorf, such as I
never had before, nor any thing which had the least resem-
blance of it. I stood still; wondered; and admired! I knew
that I never had seen before any thing comparable to it for ex-
cellency and beauty; it was widely different from all the con-
ceptions that ever I had of God, or things divine. I had no
particular apprehension of any one person in the Trinity,
either the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost ; but it appeared
to be Divine glory. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable^ to
see such a God, such a glorious divine Bemg ; and I was in-
wardly pleased and satisfied, that he should be God over all for
ever and ever.. My soul was so captivated and delighted with
the excellency, loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of
God, that I was even swallowed up in him ; at least to that de-
gree, that I had no thought (as I remember) nX firsts about my
own salvation, and scarce reflected that there was such a crea-
ture as myself.
" Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty disposition to
exalt him^ and set him on the throne, and principally and ulti-
mately to aim at his honour and glory, as King of the universe.
I continued in this state of inward joy, peace, and astonish-
ment, till near dark, without any sensible abatement ; and then
began to think and examine what I had seen ; and felt sweetly
composed in my mind all the evening following. I felt myself
in a new world, and every thing about me appeared with a
different aspect from what it was wont to do. At this time,
the way of salvation opened to me with such infinite wisdom,
suitableness, and excellency, that I wondered I should ever
think of any other way of salvation ; was amazed that I had
hot dropped my own contrivances, and complied with this
lovely, blessed, and excellent way before. If I could have
been saved by my own duties, or any other way that I had for-
merly cotitrived, my whole soul would now have refused it. I
wondered that all the world did not see and comply with this
way of salvation, entirely by the righteousness of Christ,
" The sweet relish of what I then felt, continued with me
for several days, almost constantly, in a greater or less degree.
— I could not but sweetly rejoice in God, lying down and
li
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 45
rising up. The next Lord^s day I felt something of the same
kind, though kiot so powerful as before. But not long after I
was again involved in thick darkness^ and under great distress ;
yet not of the same kind with my distress under convictions.
I was guilty, afraid, and ashamed to come before God ; was
exceedingly pressed with a sense of guilt : but it was not long
before I felt, I trust, true repentance and joy in God. — About
the latter end of August, I again fell under great darkness ; it
seemed as if the presence of God was clean gone for ever;
though I was not so much distressed about my spiritual state^
as I was at my being shut out from God's presence^ as I then
sensibly was. But it pleased the Lord to return graciously to
me not long after.^^
It was probably at this time that the following fragment was
written, entitled
" Some signs of Godliness.
" The distinguishing marks of a true Christian^ taken from
one of my old manuscripts ; where I wrote as I felt and expe-
rienced^ and not from any considerable degree of doctrinal
knowledge, or acquaintance with the sentiments of others in
this point."
1. " He has a true knowledge of the glory and excellency of
God, that he is most worthy to be loved and praised for his own
divine perfections. Psal. cxlv. 3.
2. " God is his portion, Psal. Ixxiii. 25. And God's ghry,
his great concern. Matt. vi. 22.
3. « Holiness is his delight ; nothing he so much longs for
as to be holy, as God is holy. Phil. iii. 9 — 12.
4. " Sin IS his greatest enemy. This he hates, for its own
nature, for what it is in itself, being contrary to a holy God,
Jer. ii. 1. And consequently he hates all sin, Rom. vu. 24.
1 John iii. 9.
5. " The laws of God also are his delight, Psal. cxix. 97.
Rom. vii. 22. These he observes, not out of constraint, from a
servile fear of hell ; but they are his choice, Psal. cxix. 30.
The strict observance of them is not his bondage, but his great-
est liberty, ver. 45."
" In the beginning of September I went to Yale College,
and entered there ; but with some degree of reluctancy, fear-
ing lest I should not be able to lead a life of strict religion, in
the midst of so many temptations.— After this, in the vacancy,
before I went to tarry at college, it pleased God to visit my
soul with clearer manifestations of himself and his grace. I
46 MEMOIRS OF BRAKVERD.
was spending some time in prayer and self-examination, when
the Lord, by his grace, so shined into my heart, that I enjoyed
full assurance of his favour, for that time ; and my soul was
unspeakably refreshed with divine and heavenly enjoyments.
At this time especially, as well as some others, sundry passages
of God's word opened to my soul with divine clearness, pow-
er, and sweetness, so as to appear exceeding precious, and with
clear and certain evidence of its being the word of God. I
enjoyed considerable sweetness in religion all the winter fol-
lowing.
" In Jan. 1740, the measles spread much in college ; and I,
having taken the distemper, went home to Haddam. But
some days before I was taken sick, I seemed to be greatly de-
serted, and my soul mourned the absence of the Comforter
exceedingly. It seemed to me, that all comfort was forever
gone. — I prayed and cried to God for help, yet found no pre-
sent comfort or relief. But through divine goodness, a night
or two before I was taken ill, while I was walking alone in a
very retired place, and engaged in meditation and prayer, I en-
joyed a sweet refreshing visit, as I trust, from above ; so ths^t
my soul was raised far above the fears of death. Indeed, I
rather longed for death than feared it. Oh, how much more
refreshing this one season was, than all the pleasures and de
lights that earth can afford ! After a day or two I was taken
with the measles, and was very ill indeed, so that I almost des-
paired of life ; but had no distressing fears of death at all.
Through divine goodness, I soon recovered ; yet, owing to
hard study, and to my being much exposed on account of my
freshmanship^ as I had but Tittle time for spiritual duties, my
soul often mourned for want of more time and opportunity to
be alone with God. In the spring and summer following, I
had better advantages for retirement, and enjoyed more com-
fort in religion. My ambition in my studies greatly wronged
the activity and vigour of my spiritual life ; yet, usually, " in
the multitude of my thoughts within me, God's comforts prin"
cvpcdly delighted my soul." These were my greatest consola-
tions day by day.
" One day, I think it was in June, 1740, 1 walked to a con-
siderable distance from college, in the fields alone, at noon
and in prayer found such unspeakable sweetness and delight in
God, that I thought, if I must continue still in this evil world,
I wanted always to be there, to behold God's glory. My soul
dearly loved all mankind, and longed exceedingly that they
should enjoy what I enjoyed. It seemed to be a little resem-
blance of heaven. On Lord's day, July 6, being sacrament-day,
I found some divine life and spiritual refreshment in that holy
ordinance. When I came from the Lord's table, I wondered
how my fellow-students could live as I was sensible most did.
I
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 47
—Next Lord's day, July 13, 1 had some special sweetness in
religion. — Again, Lord's day, July 20, my soul was in a sweet
and precious frame.
" Some time in August following, I became so weakly and
disordered, by too close application to my studies, that I was
advised by my tutor to go home, and disengage my mind from
study as much as I could ; for I was grown so weak, that I be-
gan to spit blood. I took his advice, and endeavoured to lay
aside my studies. But being brought very low I looked death
in the face more steadfastly ; and the Lord was pleased to give
me renewedly a sweet sense and relish of divine things ; and
particularly October 13, 1 found divine help and consolation in
the precious duties of secret prayer and self-examination, and
my soul took delight in the blessed God ; — so likewise on the
17th of October.
Oct. 18. " In my morning devotions, my soul was exceedingly
melted, and bitterly mourned over my great sinfulness and vile-
ness. I never before had felt so pungent ana deep a sense of
the odious nature of sin, as at this time. My soul was then
unusally carried forth in love to God, and had a lively sense of
God's love to me. And this love and hope, at that time, cast
out fear. Both morning and evening I spent some time in
self-examination, to find the truth of grace, as also my fitness
to approach God at his table the next day ; and through infi-
nite grace, found the holy Spirit influencing my soul with love
to God, as a witness within myself.
Lord^s day^ Oct. 19. " In the morning I felt my soul hunger^
ing and thirsting after righteousness. In the forenoon, while I
was looking on the sacramental elements, and thinking that
Jesus Christ would soon be " set forth crucified before me,'*
my soul was filled with light and love, so that I was almost in
an ecstacy ; my body was so weak, I could scarcely stand. I
felt at the same time an exceeding tenderness and most fervent
love towards all mankind ; so that my soul and all the powers
of it seemed, as it were, to melt into softness and sweetness.
But during the communion, there was some abatement of this
life and fervour. This love and joy cast out fear ; and my soul
longed for perfect grace and glory. This frame continued till
the evening, when my soul was sweetly spiritual in secret duties.
Ocf.20. "I again found the assistance of the Holy Spirit in
secret duties, both morning and evening, and life and comfort
m religion through the whole day. — Oct. 21. I had likewise ex-
perience of the goodness of God in " shedding abroad his
love in my heart," and giving me delight and consolation in
religious duties ; and all the remaining part of the week my
soul seemed to be taken up with divine things. I now so
longed after God, and to be freed fi-om sin, that when I felt niy-
self recovering, and thought I must return to college again,
48 MSMOIKS OF BRAIN£RP»
which had proved so hurtful to my spiritual interest the year
past, I could not but be sieved, and thought I had much ra-
ther have died ; for it distressed me to think of getting away
from God. But before I went, I enjoyed several other sweet
and precious seasons of communion with God, (particularly
Oct. 30, and Nov. 4,) wherein my soul enjoyed unspeakable
comfort.
" I returned to college about Nov. 6, and, through the good-
ness of God, felt the power of religion almost daily, for the
space of six weeks. — Nov. 28. In my evening devotion, I
enjoyed precious discoveries of God, and was unspeakably
refreshed with that passage, Heb. xii. 22 — ^24. My soul long-
ed to wing away to the paradise of God ; I longed to be con-
formed to God in all things. — A day or two after, I enjoyed
much of the light of God's countenance, most of the day; and
my soul rested in God.
Dec. 9. " I was in a comfortable frame of soul most of the
day ; but especially in evening devotions, when God was
pleased wonderfully to assist and strengthen me; so that I
thought nothing should ever move me from the love of God in
Christ Jesus my Lord, — Oh ! one hour with God infinitely ex-
ceeds all the pleasures" and delights of this lower world.
" Towards the latter end of January, 1741, 1 grew more cold
and dull in religion, by means of my old temptation, viz. ambi-
tion in my studies. — But through divine goodness, a great and
general Awakening spread itself over the college, about the lat-
ter end of February, in which I was much quickened, and more
abundantly engaged in religion."
This awakening was at the beginning of that extraordinary
reUgious commotion, through the land, which is fresh in every
one's memory. It was for a time very great and general at
New-Haven ; and the college had no small share in it. That
society was greatly reformed ; the students, in general^ became
serious, ma?iy of them remarkably so, and much engaged in
the concerns of their eternal salvation. However undesirable
the issue of the awakenings of that day have appeared in ma-
ny others^ there have been manifestly happy and abiding effects
of the impressions then made on the minds of many of the mem-
bers of that college. By all that I can learn concerning Brain-
ERD, there can be no reason to doubt but that he had much of
God's gracious presence, and of the lively actings of true grace,
at that time ; yet he was afterwards abundantly sensible, that
his religious experiences and affections at that time were not
free from a corrupt mixture, nor his conduct to be acquitted
from many things that were imprudent and blameable ; which
he greatly lamented himself, and was desirous that others should
not make an ill use of such an example. Hence, although at
the time he kept a constant diary, containing a very particular
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 49
account of what passed from day to day, for the next thirteen
months, from the latter end of Jan. 1741, forementioned, in
two small books, which he called the two first volumes of his
diary, next following the account before given of his convictions,
conversion, and consequent comforts; yet, when he lay on his
death-bed, he gave orders (unknown to me till after his death)
that these two volumes should be destroyed ; and in the begin-
ning of the third book of his diary, he wrote thus, (by the
hand of another, he not being able to write himself,) ^^The
two preceding volumes, immediately following the account of
the author^s conversion, are lost. If any are desirous to know
how the author lived, in general, during that space of time, let
them read the first thirty pages of this volume ; where they will
find somewhat of a specimen of his ordinary manner of living,
through that whole space of time, which was about thirteen
months ; except that here he was more refined from some »m-
pmdences and indecent heats^ than there ; but the spirit of de-
votion running through the whole^ was the same.''
It could not be otherwise than that one whose heart had
been so prep»'ed and drawn to God, as Brainerd's had been,
should be mightily enlarged, animated, and engaged at the
sight of such an alteration made in the college, the town, and
country; and so great an appearance of men reforming their
liveS) and turning from their profaneness and immorality, to se-
rioo8Hies& and concern for their salvation, and of religion re-
viving and flourishing almost every where. But as an intem-
perate imprudent zeal, and a degree of enthusiasm soon crept
in^ and mingled itself with that revival of religion ; and so
great and general an awakening being quite a new thing in the
mnd, at least as to all the living inhabitants of it; neither peo-
ple nor ministers had learned thoroughly to distinguish between
solid religion and its delusive counterfeits. Even many ministers
of the gospel, of long standing and the best reputation, were for a
time overpowered with the glaring appearances of the latter ;
and therefore, surely it was not to be wondered at, that young
BRAiNSRD,but a sophomore at college,should be so ; who wasnot
only young in years, but very young in religion and experience.
He had enjoyed but little advantage for the study of divinity,
and still less for observing the circumstances and events of such
an extraordincffy state of things. To think it strange, a man
must divest himself of all reason. In these disadvantageous
circumstances, Brainerd had the unhappiness to have a tinC"
ture of that intemperate, indiscreet zeal, which was at that
time too prevalent ; and was led, from his high opinion of
Others whom he looked upon as better than himself, into such
errors as were really contrary to the habitual temper of his
mind. One instance of his misconduct at that time, gave
grelat offence to the rulers of the college, even to fliat degree
Vol. X. 7
50 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
that they expelled him the society; which it is necessary
should be here particularly related, with its circumstances.
During the awakening at college, there were several religious
students who associated together for mutual conversation and
assistance in spiritual things. These were wont freely to open
themselves one to another, as special and intimate friends ;
Brainerd was one of this company. And it once happened,
that he and two or three more of these intimate friends were in
the hall together, after Mr. Whittelsey, one of the tutors, had
engaged in prayer with the scholars ; no other person now re-
maining in the hall but Brainerd and his companions. Mr.
Whittelsey having been unusually pathetic in his prayer, one of
Brainerd ^s friends on this occasion asked him what ne thought
of Mr. Whittelsey ; he made answer, " He has no more grace
than this chair," One of the freshmen happening at that
time to be near the hall, (though not in the room,) over-heard
these words. This person, though he heard no name mention-
ed, and knew not who was thus censured, informed a certain
woman in the town, withal telling her his own suspicion, viz.
that he believed Brainerd said this of some one or other of
the rulers of the college. Whereupon she went and informed
tlie Rector^ who sent for i\m freshman and examined him. He
told the Rector the words which he heard Brainerd utter ;
and informed him who were in the room with him at that time.
Upon this the Rector sent for them. They were very back-
ward to inform against their friend respecting what they look-
ed upon as private conversation ; especially as none but they
had heard or knew of whom he had uttered those words ; yet
the Rector compelled them to declare what he said, and of
whom he said it. — Brainerd looked on himself as very ill used
in the management of this affair ; and thought that it was in-
juriously extorted from his friends, and then injuriously required
of him — as' if he had been guilty of some open, notorious
crime — to make ^public confession, and to humble himself be-
fore the whole college in the hall, for what he had said only in
private conversation. — He not complying with this demand,
and having gone once to the separate meeting at New-Haven,
when forbidden by the Rector ; and also having been accused
by one person of saying concerning the Rector, " that he won-
dered he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the scho-
lars who followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, though there was
no proof oi it ; (and Brainerd ever professed that he did not
remember his saying any thing to that purpose ;) for these
things he was expelled the college.
How far the circumstances and exigencies of that day might
justify such great severity in the governors of the college, I will
not undertake to determine ; it being my aim, not to bring
reproach on the authority of the college, but only to do justice
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.
51
to the memory of a person, who was I think, eminently one ot
those whose memory is blessed. — The reader will see, in the se-
quel of the story of Brainerd^s life,* what his own thoughts
afterwards were of his behaviour in these things, and in now
Christian a manner he conducted himself, with respect to this
affair; though he ever, as long as he lived, supposed
himself ill used in the management of it, and in what he suf-
fered. — His expulsion was in the winter, 1742, while in hi«
third year at college.
* Particularly under the date, Sept. 14» 1743.
CHAPTER II.
From about the time when he began the study of Theology^ to
his Licensure.
In the Spring of 1742, Brainerd went to live with the Rev.
Mr. Mills of Ripton, to pursue his studies with him, for the
work of the ministry. Here he spent the greater part of the
time until the Association licensed him to preach ; but frequent-
ly rode to visit the neighbouring ministers, particularly Mr.
Cooke of Stratford, Mr. Graham of Southbury, and Mr. Bel-
lamy of Bethlehem. While with Mr, Mills, he began the third
book of his diary in which the account he wrote of himself, is
as follows :
April 1, 1742. " I seem to be declining, with respect to my
life and warmth in divine things; and have had not so free ac-
cess to God in prayer, as usual of late. Oh that God would
humble me deeply in the dust before him ! I deserve hell every
day, for not loving my Lord more, who has, I trust, loved me
and given himself for me ; and every time 1 am enabled to ex-
ercise any grace renewedly, I am renewedly indebted to the
God of all grace for special assistance. Where then is boast-
ing P Surely it is excluded, when we think how we are depend-
ent on God for the existence and every act of grace. O if ever
I get to heaven, it will be because God pleases and nothing
else ; for I never did any thing of myself, but get away from
God I My soul will be astonished at the unsearchable riches
of divine grace, when I arrive at the mansions, which the bles-
sed Saviour is gone before to prepare.
April 2. " In the afternoon, I felt in secret prayer, much re-
signed, calm and serene. What are all the storms of this lower
world, if Jesus by his spirit does but come walking on the
seas ! — Sometime past, I had much pleasure in the prospect
of the Heathen being brought home to Ctirist, and desired that
the Lord vtrould employ me in that work : but now my sod
more frequently desires to die, to be with Christ. Oh that my
soul were wrapt up in divine love, and my longing desires after
God increased ! In the evening, was refreshed in prayer, with
the hopes of the advancement of Christ^s kingdom in the world.
April 3. " Was very much amiss this morning, and had a
bad night. I thought, if God would take me to himself now,
my souTwould exceedingly rejoice. Oh that I may be always
MEMOIRS or BRAINERD. :>3
humble and resigned to God, and that he would cause my soul
to be more fixed on himself, that I may be more fitted both for
doing and suffering,
hordes day^ April 4. " My heart was wandering and life-
less. In the evening God gave me faith in prayer, made my
soul melt in some measure, and gave me to taste a divine
sweetness. O my blessed God ! Let me climb up near to him,
and love, and long, and plead, and wrestle, and stretch after
him, and for deliverance from the body of sin and death. —
Alas ! my soul mourned to think I should ever lose sight of its
beloved again. " O come. Lord Jesus, Amen."
On the evening of the next day^ he complains, that he seem-
ed to be void of all relish of divine things, felt much of the
prevalence of corruption, and saw in himself a disposition to
all manner of sin ; which brought a very great gloom on his
mind, and cast him down into the depths of melancholy ; so
that he speaks of himself as amazed, having no comfort, but
filled with horror, seeing no comfort in heaven or earth.
April 6. y I walked out this morning to the same place where
I was last iiight, and felt as I did then ; but was somewhat re-
lieved by reading some passages in my diary, and seemed to
feel as if I might pray to the great God again with freedom ;
but was suddenly struck with a damp, from the sense I had of
my own vileness. — Then I cried to God to cleanse me from
my exceeding filthiness, to give me repentance and pardon. I
then began to find it sweet to pray ; and could think of under^
going the greatest sufferings in the cause of Christ, with plea-
sure ; and found myself willing, if God should so order it, to
suffer banishment from my native land, among the Heathen,
that I might do something for their salvation, in distresses and
deaths of any kind. — Then God gave me to wrestle earnestly
for others, for the kingdom of Christ in the world, and for dear
Christian friends. — I felt weaned from the world, and from my
own reputation amongst men, willing to be despised^ and to be
a gazing stock for the world to behold. — It is impossible for
me to express how I then felt : I had not much joy, but some
sense of the majesty of God, which made me as it were trem-
ble* I saw myself mean and vile, which made me more wil-
ling that God should do what he would with me ; it was all in-
finitely reasonable.
April 7. " I had not so much fervency, but felt somewhat as
I did yesterday morning, in prayer. — At noon I spent some
time in secret, with some fervency, but scarce any sweetness ;
and felt very dull in the evening.
April 8. " Had raised hopes to-day respecting the Heathen.
G^ that God would bring in great numbers of them to Jesus
54 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD,
Christ ! I cannot but hope that I shall see that glorious day, —
Every thing in this world seems exceeding vile and little to
me ; I look so on myself. — I had some littJe dawn af comfort
to-day in prayer ; but especially to-night, I think I had some
faith and power of intercession with God. I was enabled to
plead with God for the growth of grace in myself; and many
of the dear children of God then lay with weight upon my
soul. Blessed be the Lord ! It is good to wrestle for divine
blessings.
Apru 9. " Most of my time in morning devotion was spent
without sensible sweetness, yet I had one delightful prospect of
arriving at the heavenly world. I am more amazed than ever
at such thoughts ; for I see myself infinitely vile and unworthy.
I feel very heartless and dull ; and though I long for the pre-
sence of God, and seem constantly to reach towards God in de-
sires : yet I cannot feel that divine and heavenly sweetness
that I used to enjoy. — No poor creature stands in need of di-
vine grace more than I, and none abuse it more than I have
done, and still do.
April 10. " Spent much time in secret prayer this morning,
not without some comfort in divine things, and hope I had
some faith in exercise ; but am so low, and feel so little of the
sensible presence of God, that I hardly know what to call faith,
and am made to possess the sins of my youths and the dread-
ful sin of my nature. I am all sin ; I cannot think nor act,
but every motion is sin. I feel some faint hopes, that God will^
of his infinite mercy, return* again with showers of converting
grace to poor gospel-abusing sinners ; and my hopes of being
employed in the cause of God, which of late have been almost
extinct, seem now a little revived. Oh that all my late dis-
tresses and awful apprehensions, might prove but Christ's
school, to make me fit for greater service, by teaching me the
great lesson of humility !
Lord^s Day^ April 11. "In the morning I felt but little life,
except that my heart was somewhat drawn out in thankfulness
to God, for his amazing grace and condescension to me, in past
influences and assistances of his spirit. Afterwards, I had
some sweetness in the thoughts of arriving at the heavenly
world. O for the happy day ! After public worship, God gave
me special assistance in prayer ; I wrestled with my dear Lord,
with much sweetness ; and intercession was made a delightful
enfiployment to me. In the evening, as I was viewing the light
in the north, I was delighted in contemplation on the glorious
morning of the Resurrection.
Apru 12. " This morning the Lord was pleased to lift up
the light of his countenance upon me in secret prayer, and made
the season very precious to my soul. Though I have been so
depressed of late, respecting my hopes of future serviceableness
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 55
in the cause of God; yet now I had much encouragement res-
pecting that matter. I was especially assisted to intercede
and plead for poor souls, and for the enlargement of Christ's
kingdom in the world, and for special grace for myself, to fit me
for special services. I felt exceedingly calm, and quite resigned
to God, respecting my future employment, when and where he
pleased. My faith lifted me above the world, and removed all
those mountains over which of late I could not look. I wanted
not the favour of man to lean upon ; for I knew that Christ's fa-
vour was infinitely better, and that it was no matter when nor
where nor how Christ should send me, nor what trials he should
still exercise me with, if I might be prepared for his work and
will. I now found revived in my mind, the wonderful discovery
of infinite wisdom in all the dispensations of God towards me,
which I had, a little before I met with my great trial at college ;
every thing appeared full of divine wisdom.
April 13. "I saw myself to be very mean and vile; and
wondered at those who showed me respect. Afterwards I was
somewhat comforted in secret retirement, and assisted to
wrestle with God with some power, spirituality, and sweetness.
Blessed be the Lord, he is never unmindful of me, but always
sends me needed supplies ; and from time to time, when I am
like one dead, he raises me to life. Oh that I may never distrust
Infinite goodness !
April 14. " My soul longed for communion with Christ,
and for the mortification of mdwelling corruption, especially
spiritual pride. O, there is a sweet day coming, wherein the
weary will be at rest! My soul has enjoyed much sweetness
this day, in the hopes of its speedy arrival.
April 15. " My desires apparently centered in God ; and 1
found a sensible attraction of soul after him sundry times to-day.
I know that / long for God^ and a conformity to his will, in
inward purity and holiness, ten thousand times more than for
any thing here below.
April 16 and 17. " I seldom prayed without some sensible
joy in the Lord. Sometimes I longed much to be dissolved
and to be with Christ, Oh that God would enable me to grow
in grace every day ! Alas ! my barrenness is such that God
might well say. Cut it down. I am afraid of a dead heart on
the Sabbath now begun. Oh that God would quicken me by
his grace !
Lord'^s day April 18. " I retired early this morning into the
woods for prayer ; had the assistance of God's Spirit, and faith
in exercise ; and was enabled to plead with fervency for the ad-
vancement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and to intercede
for dear, absent friends. At noon, God enabled me to wrestle
with him, and to feel, as I trust, the power of divine love, in
56 MEMOIRS or BRAINERD.
prayer. At night I saw myself infinitely indebted to God, and
had a view of my failures in duty. It seemed to me, that I had
done, as it were, nothing for God, and that I never had lived
to him but a few hours of my life.
April 19. " I set apart this day for fasting and prayer to
God for his grace ; especially to prepare me for the work of the
ministry^ to give me divine aid and direction, in my prepara-
tions for that great work ; and in his own time to send me into
his harvest. Accordingly, in the morning, I endeavoured to
plead for the divine presence for the day, and not without
some life. In the forenoon, I felt the power of intercession for
precious, immortal souls ; for the advancement of the kingdom
of my dear Lord and Saviour in the world ; and withal, a most
sweet resignation, and even consolation and joy, in the thoughts
of sufiering hardships, distresses, and even death itself, in the
promotion of it ; and had peculiar enlargement in pleading for
the enlightening and conversion of the poor Heathen. In the
afternoon, God was with me of a truth. O, it was blessed
company indeed ! God enabled me so to agonize in [»*ayer,
that I was quite wet with perspiration, though in the shade,
and the cool wind. My soul was drawn out very much fi^m
the world, for multitudes of souls. I thiiik I had more enlarge*
ment for sinners, than for the children of God, though I felt as if
I could spend my life in cries for both. I enjoyed great sweet-
ness in communion with my dear Saviour. I think I never in
my life felt such an entire weanedness from this world and so
much resigned to God in every thing. Oh that I may always
live to and upon my blessed God ! Amen, Amen.
April 20. " This day, I am twenty-four years of age. O
how much mercy have I received the year past ! How often
has God caused his goodness to pass before me! And how
poorly have I answered the vows I made this time twelve-
month, to be wholly the Lord's, to be forever devoted to his
service ! The Lord help me to live more to his glory for the
time to come. This has been a sweet, a happy day to me ;
blessed be God. I think my soul was never so drawn out
in intercession for others^ as it has been this night. Had a
most fervent wrestle with the Lord to-night for my enemies ;
and I hardly ever so longed to li^e to God and to be altogether
devoted to him ; I wanted to wear out my life in his service,
and for his glory.
April 21. " Felt much calmness and resignation ; and God
agam enabled me to wrestle for numbers of souls, and had
much fervency in the sweet duty of intercession. I enjoyed of
late more sweetness in intercession for others, than in any
other part of prayer. My blessed Lord really let me come
near to him and plead ivith him.'^'^
M£MOIES OF BRAINERD. 57
The frame of mind, and exercises of soul, which he ex-
presses the three days next following, axe much of the same
kind with those expressed the two days past.
Lord*8 day, April 25. " This morning, I spent about two
hours in secret duties, and was enabled, more than ordinarily,
to agonize for immortal souls ; though it was early in the morn-
ing, and the sun scarcely shined at all, yet my body was quite
wet with sweat. I felt much pressed now, as fi'equently of late,
to plead for the meekness and calnmess of the Lamb of God
in my soul ; and through divine goodness, felt much of it this
morning. O it is a sweet disposition, heartily to forsive all
injuries done us ; to wish our greatest enemies as weU, as we
do our own souls ! Blessed Jesus, may I daily be more and
more conformed to thee ! At night, I was exceedingly melted
with divine love, and had some feeling sense of the blessedness of
the upper world. Those words hung upon me, with much divine
sweetness, Psal. Ixxxiv. 7. They go from strength to strength,
every one of them in Zion appear eth before God : O the near
access that God sometimes gives us in our addresses to him !
This may well be termed ceppearinff before God : it is so in->
deed, in the true spiritual sense, and in the sweetest sense. I
think that I have not had such power of intercession these
many months, both for God^s children, and for dead sinners,
as I nave had this evening. I wished and longed for the com-
ing of my dear Lord : 1 longed to join the angelic hosts in
praises, wnoUy free from imperfection. O, the blessed moment
hastens ! All I want is to be more holy, more like my dear Lord.
Oh for sanctification I Mv very soul pants for the complete
irestoration of the blessed image of my Saviour ; that I may
be fit for the blessed enjoyments and employments of the hea-
venly world.
'^ Farewell, vain world ; my soul can bid adieu :
*^ Tour Saviour taught me to abandon you.
*^ Your charms may g;ratify a sevsitax* mind ;
** But cannot please a soul for Goi> design'd.
•( Forbear t' entice, cease then my soul to call :
'^'Tis fixed through grace ; my God shall be my All«
*^ While he tiius lets me heavenly glories view,
'^ Tour beauties &de, my heart ^s no room for you."
"The Lord refreshed my soul with many sweet passages of
his word. O the New Jerusalem ! my soul longed for it. O
the song of Moses and the Lamb ! And that blessed song that
no man can learn, but they who are redeemed from the earth !
and the glorious white robes, that were given to the souls under
the altar!
" Lord, Vm a stranger here alone ;
" Earth no true comforts can afford :
^^ Tet, absent from my dearest one,
" My soul delights to cry * My Lord "
Vol. X, «
^ aiEifoms or brainebp.
** Jbsus, my Lord, my only love,
*^ Possess my soal, nor thence depart ;
'^ Grant me kind visits, heavenly dove ;
^^ My God shall then have all my heart."
April 26. " Continued in a sweet frame of mind; but in the
afternoon, felt somewhat of spiritual pride stirrins. God was
pleased to make it a humbling season at first ; tnough after-
wards he gave me sweetness. O my soul exceedingly lonss
for that blessed state of perfect deliverance from aU sin ! At
night, God enabled me to give my soul up to him, to cast m]^-
self upon him, to be ordered and dispos^ of according to ms
sovereign pleasure ; and I enjoyed great peace and consolation
in so doing. My soul took sweet delight in God ; my thoughts
freely and sweetly centered in him. O that I could spend every
moment of my life to his glory !
April 27. " I retired pretty early for secret devotions ; and in
prayer, God was pleased to pour such ineffable comforts into
my soul, that I could do nothing for some time but say over
and over, ' O my sweet Saviour ! O my sweet Saviour ! whom
have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that
I desire beside tbee.^ If I had had a thousand lives, my soul would
gladly haye laid them all down at once, to have been with
Christ. My soul never enjoyed so much of heaven before; it
was the most refined and most spiritual season of communion
with God, I e vei^ yet felt. I never felt so ^eat a degree of resigna-
tion in my life. In the afternoon, I withdrew, to meet with my
God, but found myself much declined, and God made it a
humbling season to my soul. I mourned over the body of
death that is in me. It grieved me exceedingly, that I could
not pray to and praise God with my heart ftiU of divine hea-
venly love. Oh that my sotil might never offer any dead, cold
services to my God ! In the evening had not so much divine
love^ as in the morning ; but had a sweet season of fervent
intercession.
April 28. "I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, in great
peace and tranquillity, spent about two hours in secret duties,
and felt much as I did yesterday morning, only weaker, and
more overcome. I seemed to depend whcJly on my dear Lord ;
wholly weaned from all other dependencies. I knew not what
To say to my God, but only lean on his bosom^ as it were, and
breathe out my desires after a perfect conformity to him in all
things. Thirsting desires, and insatiable longings, possessed my
soul after perfect holiness. God was so precious to my soul,
that the world, with all its enjoyments, was infinitely vile. I
had no more value for the favour of men, than for pebbles.
The Lord was my all, and that he over-ruled all, greatly de-
lighted me. I think that my faith and dependence on God,
srcarce ever rose so high. I saw him such a Fountain of good-
MKMOIRS or BRAINEKU. 39
ness, that it seemed impossible I should distrust liim again, or
be any way anxious about any thing that should happen to me.
1 now enjoyed great sweetness in praying for absent friends, and
for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom in the world. Much
of the power of these divine enjoyments remained with me
through the day. In the evening, my heart seemed to melt,
and I trust was really humbled for indwelling corruption, and I
mourned like a dove. I felt that all my unhappiness arose from
mv being a sinner. With resignation, I could bid welcome to
all other ^tnnis ; but sin hung heavv upon me ; for God disco-
vered to me the corruption of my heart I went to bed with a
heavy heart, because I was a sinner : though I did not in the
least doubt of God's love. O that God would j^tir^e aw(w my
dross^ and takeaway my tin^ and make me ten times refined I
April 29. ^^ I was kept off at a distance from God ; — but had
some enlargement in intercession for precious souls.
April 30. *'*' I was somewhat dejected in spirit : nothing
grieves me so much, as that I cannot live constantly to God's
glory. I could bear any desertion or spiritual conflicts, if I
could but have my heart all the while burning within me with
love to God and desires of his glory. But this is impossible :
for when I feel these, I cannot be dejected in my soul, but only
rgoice m mj^ iSoviotfr, who has deUvered me from the reigning
power, and will shortly deliver me from the indwelling of sin.
May 1. ** I was enabled to cry to God with fervency for mi-
nisterial qualifications, that he would appear for the advance-
ment of his own kingdom, and that he would brin§ in the Hea-
then. Had much assistance in laf studies. This has been a
profitable week to me ; I have enjoyed manj communications
of the blessed Spirit in my soul.
JLord^s day^ May 2. ^^ God was pleased this morning to give
me such a sight of myself, as made me appear verv vue in my
ovirn eyes, f felt corruption stirring in my heart, which I could
by means suppress ; felt more and more deserted ; was exceed-
ing wesi, and almost sick with my inward trials.
May 3. «^ Had a sense of vile ingratitude. In the morning
I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, and mourned for
my abuse of my dear Lord ; spent the day in fasting and prayer.
God gave me much power of wrestUng for his cause and king-
dom ; and it was a happy day to my soul. God was with me
all the day ; and I was more above the world, than ever in mv
life/'
Through the remaining part of this week^ he complains al-
most every day of desertion, inward trials and conflicts, at-
tended with dejeciton oi spirit ; yet speaks of times of relief
and sweetness, and daily refreshing visits of the divine Spirit,
affording special assistance and comfort, and enabling him, at
(j0 MEHOIRS OF BRAINEKD.
times, to enjoy mueh fervency and enlargement in religiouis
duties.
Lord's day^ May 9. " I think I never felt so much of the
cursed pride of my heart, as well as the 8tuhbomne$8 of my
will before. O dreadful ! what a vile wretch I am ! I could
submit to be nothing, and to lie down in the dust Oh that
God would humble me in the dust ! I felt myself such a sin-
ner, all day, that I had scarce any comfort. Oh when shall I
be delivered ^rom the body of this death! I greatly feared, lest
through stupidity and carelessness I should lose the benefit of
these trials. Oh that they might be sanctified to my soul !
Nothing seemed to touch me but only this, that I was a sin-
ner. — Had fervency and refi-eshment in social prayer in the
evening.
May 10. ^^ I rode to New-Haven ; saw some Christian friends
there ; and had comfort in joining in prayer with them, and
hearing of die goodness oi God to them, since I last saw
them.
May 11. " I rode from New-Haven to Wethersfield ; was
very dull most of the day ; had little spirituality in this journey,
though I often longed to be alone with God ; was much per-
Elexed with vile thoughts; was sometimes afi*aid of every thing:
ut God was my Helper » Catched a little time for returement
in the evening, to my comfort and rejoicing. Alas ! 1 cannot
live in the midst of a tumult. I long to enjoy God alone.
May 12. "I had a distressing view of the pride, enmity and
vileness of my heart. Afterwards had sweet refreshment in
conversing and worshipping God, with Christian friends.
May 13. " Saw so much of the wickedness of my heart, that
I longed to get away from myself. I never before thought that
there was so much spiritual pride in my soul. I felt almost
pressed to death with my own vileness. O what a body of death
is there in me ! Lord^ deliver my soul! I could not fmd any
convenient place for retirement, and was greatly exercised.
Rode to Hartford in the afternoon : had some refreshment and
comfort in religious exercises with Christian friends ; but long-
ed for more retirement. O the closest walk with God is the
sweetest heaven that can be enjoyed on earth !
May 14. ^^I waited on a council of ministers convened at
Hartford, and spread before them the treatment I had met with
from the rector and tutors of Yale College ; who thought it
adviseable to intercede for me with the rector and trustees, and
to intreat them to restore me to my former privileges in col-
lege.* After this, spent some time in religious exercises with
Christian friends.
* Tbt application which was then made on his behalf, had not the desired
success.
MEM0IR2) OF BRAIXERD. I>1
May 15. ^' I rode from Hartford to Hebron ; was somewhat
dejected on the road; appeared exceeding vile in my own
eyes, saw much pride and stubbornness in my heart. Indeed
I never saw such a week as this before ; for I have been almost
ready to die with the view of the wickedness of my heart. I
could not have thought I had such a body of death in me. Oh
that God would deliver my soul P^
The three next days (which he spent at Hebron, Lebanon,
and Norwich) he complains still of dulness and desertion,
and expresses a sense ot his vileness, and longing to hide him-
self in some cave or den of the earth ; but yet speaks of some
intervals of comfort and soul-refreshment each day.
May 19. ^^ (At Millington) I was so amazingly deserted this
morning, that I seemed to feel a sort of horror in my soul.
Alas ! when God withdraws, what is there that can aiford any
comfort to the soul !^^
Through the eight days next following^ he expresses more
calnmess and comfort, and considerable life, fervency, and
sweetness in religion.
May 28. " (At New-Haven) I think I scarce ever felt so
calm in my life ; I rejoiced in resignation^ and giving myself
up to God, to be wholly and entirely devoted to mm for ever."
On the three following days^ there was, by the account he
gives, a continuance of the same excellent frame of mind last
expressed ; but it seems not to be altogether to so great a degree.
June 1. " Had much of the presence of God in family pray-
er, and had some comfort in secret. I was greatly refreshed
from the word of God this morning, which appeared exceed-
ingly sweet to me ; some things which appeared mysterious,
were opened to me. Oh that the kingdom of the dear Sa-
viour might come with power, and the healing waters of the
isanctuary spread far and wide for the healing of the nations !
— Came to Ripton ; but was very weak. However, being visi-
ted by a number of young people in the evening, I prayed
with them."
The remaining part of this week^ he speaks of being much
diverted and hindered m the business of religion, by great
Hreakness of body, and necessary affairs, to which he had to
attend : and complains of having but little power in religion ;
but observes, that God hereby showed him, that he was like a
Helpless infant cast out in the open field.
Hi MEMOIRii OF BRAIN£R1>. , -;>t%- \
Lord^s day^ June 6. '' I feel much desertG|^i but all thisj
teaches me my nothingness and vUeness more man ever.
June 7. " Felt still powerless in secret prayer. Afterwards 1
prayed and conversed with some little life. God feeds me with
crumbs ; blessed be his name for any thing. I felt a great de-
sire that all God^s people, might know how mean and little and
vile I am ; that they might see I am nothing, that so they may
pray for me aright, and not have the least dependence upon me.
June 8. " I enjoyed one sweet and precious see n this day ;
I never felt it so sweet to be nothings and less ^an nothing,
and to be accounted nothing.^^
The three next days he complains of desertion, and want of
fervency in religion ; but yet his diary shows that every day
his heart was engaged in religion, as his greats and, as it were
only business.
June 12. ^^ Spent much time in prayer this morning, and en-
joyed much sweetness :-^Felt insatiable longings after God
much of the day. I wondered how poor sout do to live, that
have no God. The world, with all its enjoyments, quite van-
ished. I see myself very helpless : but I have a blessed God to
go to. I longed exceedingly to be dissolved^ and to be with
Christy to behold his glory. O my weak weary soul longs to
arrive at my Father^s house !
hordes day^ June 13. " Felt somewhat calm and resigned in
the public worship : at the sacrament saw myself very vile and
worthless. Oh that I may always lie low in the dust. My soul
seemed steadily to go forth after God, in longing desires to live
upon him.
June 14. "Felt somewhat of the sweetness of communion
with God, and the constraining force of his love ; how admira-
bly it captivates the soul, and makes all the desires and affec-
tions to centre in God ! — I set apart this day for secret fasting
and prayer, to intreat God to direct and bless me with regard
to the great work which I have in view, of preaching the gospel
— and that the Lord would return to me, and show me the light
of his countenance. Had little life and power in the forenoon :
near the middle of the afternoon, God enabled me to wrestle
ardently in intercession for my absent friends : but just at night
the Lord visited me marvellously in prayer. I think my soul
never was in such an agony before. 1 felt no restraint ; for the
treasures of divine grace were opened to me. I wrestled for
absent friends, for the ingathering of souls, for multitudes of
poor souls, and for many that I thought were the children of
God, personally^ in many distant places. I was in such an agony
from sun half an hour high, till near dark, that I was all over
wet with sweat : but yet it seemed to me that I had wasted
^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ^ 63
I
away the day^ and had done nothing. O my dear Saviour did
sweat blood for poor souls ! I longed for more compassion
towards them. Felt still in a sweet frame, under a sense of di-
vine love and grace ; and went to bed in such a frame, with
my heart set on G od. -
June 15. *' Had the most ardent longings after God, wMch I
ever felt in my life. At noon, in my secret retirement, I could
do nothing ^/\i tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he
knew I desitw X^^^^hing but himself^ nothing but holiness ; that
he had given me these desires, and he only could mve me the
thing desired. I never seemed to be so unhinged from myself^
and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swallowed
up in God most of the day. In the evening I had such a view
of the soul being as it were enlarged, to contain more holiness,
that it seemed ready to separate from my body. I then wres-
tled in an agony for divine blessings ; had my heart drawn out
in prayer for some Christian friends, beyond what I ever had
before. I feel differently now from what I ever did under any
enjoyments before ; more engaged, to live to God for ever, and
less pleased with my own frames. I am not satisfied with my
frames, nor feel at all more easy after such strugglings than be-
fore ; for it seems far too, little, if I could always be so. O
how short do I fall of my duty in my sweetest moments P'
In his diary for the two next days^ he expresses somewhat of
the same frame, but in a far less degree.*
June 18. " Considering my great unfitness for the work of
the ministry^ my present deadness, and total inability to do any
thing for the glory of God that way, feeling myseli very help-
less, and at a great loss what the Lord would have me to do ; I
set apart this day for prayer to God, and spent most of the day
in that duty, but amazingly deserted most of the day. Yet I
found -God graciously near, once in particular ; while I was
pleading for more compassion for immortal souls, my heart
seemed to be opened at once, and I was enabled to cry with
great ardency, for a few minutes. O I was distressed to think
tnat I should offer such dead cold services to the living God !
My soul seemed to breathe after holiness, a life of constant
devotedness to Gt>d. But I am almost lost sometimes in the
pursuit of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because I con-
tinually fall short, and miss of my desire. Oh that the Lord
would help me to hold out, yet a little while, until the happy
hour of deliverance comes !
* Here end Uie thirty first pages of the third volume of his diary, which he
speaks of in the beginnings of this volume, (as obiserved before) as containing a
speeimtn of \k\% ordinary manner of livings through the whole space of time,
irom the begimiing of those two volumes th^ were destroyed.
46 * MEMOIRS OF BRAIN^RD*
/"
June 19. " Felt much disordered ; my spirits w^re very low :
but yet enjoyed some freedom and sweetness in the duties of
religion, messed be God.
^Saay^ Jiih%90. " Spent much time alone. My soul
earnestly wished to DsiJiply, and reached after God ; but seem-
ed not to obtain my desire. J hungered and thirsted; but was
not refreshed and satisfied. My soul rested on God, as my only
portion. Oh that I could grow in grace more abundantly
every day !"
The next day he speaks of his having assistance in his studies,
and power, fervency, and comfort in prayer.
June 22. ^' In the morning spent about two hours in prayer
and meditation, with consideraole delight Towards night felt
my soul go out in earnest desires after God, in secret retirement.
In the evening, was sweetly composed and resigned to God's
will ; was enabled to leave mysen and all my concerns with
him, and to have my whole dependence upon him. My secret
retirement was very refreshing to my soul ; it appeared such a
happiness to have God for my portion, that 1 had rather be any
other creature in this lower creation, than not come to the en-
joyment of God. I had rather be a beast, than a man, without
God, if I were to live here to eternity. Lord, endear thyself
more to me !
In his diary for the next seven days^ he expresses a variety
of exercises of mind. He speaks of great longings after Goa
and holiness, and earnest desires for the conversion of others ;
of fervency in prayer, power to wrestle with God, composure,
comfort, and sweetness, from time to time ; but expresses a
sense of the abomination of his heart, and bitterly complains of
his barrenness, and the body of death ; and says, " he saw clear-
ly that whatever he enjoyed, better than hell, was of free grace."
He complains of falling much below the character of a child
of God ; and is sometimes very disconsolate and dejected.
June 30. ^' Spent this day alone in the woods, in fasting
and prayer ; underwent the most dreadful conflicts in my soul,
which I ever felt, in some respects. I saw myself so vile, that I
was ready to say, ' I shall now perish by the hand of Saul.* I
thought that I had no power to stand for the cause of God,
but was almost ' afraid of the shaking of a leaf.' Spent almost
the whole day in prayer, incessantly. I could not bear to think
of Christians showing me any respect. I almost despaired of
doing any service in the world : 1 could not feel any hope or
comfort respecting the healhen, which used to afford me some
MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 65
refreshment in the darkest hours of this nature. I spent tlie day
in bitterness of soul. Near night I felt a little better ; and after-
wards enjoyed some sweetness in secret prayer.
. July 1. " Had some enjoyment in prayer this morning ;
and far more than usual in secret prayer to-night, and desired
nothing so ardently as that God should do with me just as he
pleasea,
July % " Felt composed in secret prayer in the morning. —
My desires ascended to God this day, as I was travelling : and
was comfortable in the evening. Blessed he God for all my con*
solaiion.
July 3. " My heart seemed again to sink. The disgrace I
was laid under at College, seemed to damp me ; as it opens the
mouths of opposers. I had no refuge but in God. Blessed
be his name, that I may go to him at all times, and find him a
present help.
Lord^s day^ July 4. ^^ Had considerable assistance. In the
evening I withdrew, and enjoyed a happy season in secret
prayer. God was pleased to give me the exercise of faith, and
thereby brought the invisible and eternal world near to my soul
which appeared sweetly to me. I hoped that my weary pil-
grimage in the world would be short ; and that it would not
oe long before I was brought to my heavenly home and Father's
house. I was resigned to God's will, to tarry his time, to do
his work, and suffer his pleasure. I felt thankfulness to God
for all my pressing desertions of late ; for I am persuaded that
they have been made a means of making me more humble,
ana much more resigned. I felt pleased to be little^ to be
nothings and to lie in the dust. I enjoyed life and consolation
in pleading for. the dear children of God, and the kingdom of
Chrbt in the world : and my soul earnestly breathed after ho-
liness, and the enjoyment of God. O come^ Lord Jcsus^ come
q[uichlyy
By his diary for the remaining days of this week^ it appears
that he enjoyed considerable composure and tranquillity, and
had sweetness and fervency of spirit in prayer, from day to day.
Lor d^s day ^ July 11. " Was deserted and exceedingly deject-
ed in the morning. In the afternoon, had some life and as-
sistance, and felt resigned. I saw myself to be exceeding vile."
On the two next days he expresses inward comfort, resigna-
tion, and strength in God.
July 14. " Felt a degree of humble resigned sweetness :
spent a considerable time in secret, giving myself up whollv
t:o the Lord. Heard Mr. Bellamy preach towards night ; felt
very sweetly part of the time : longed for nearer access to God.'""
6(i MEMOIBS OF BRAIN£RP.
The four next days^ he expresses considerable comfort and
fervency of spirit, in Christian conversation and religious ex-
ercises.
July 19, " My desires seem especially to be after weaned-
ness from the worlds perfect deadness to it, and that I may be
crucified to alt its allurements. My soul desires to feel itself
more of a pilgrim and stranger here below ; that nothing may
divert me from pressing through the lonely desart, till I arrive
vd my Father's house.
July 20. '• It was sweet to give away myself to God, to be
disposed of at his pleasure. I had some feeling sense of the
sweetness of being a pilgrim on earthJ*^
The next day^ he expresses himself as determined to be
wholly devoted to God ; and it appears by his diary, that be
spent the whole day in a most diligent exercise of religion, and
with great comfort
July 22. '^ Journeying from Southbuiy to Ripton, I called at
a house by the way, where being very kindly entertained and
refreshed, I was filled with amazement and shame, that God
should stir up the hearts of any to show so much kindness to
such a dead dog as I ; was made sensible in some manner, bow
exceeding vile it is not to be wholly devoted to God. I won-
dered that God would sufier any of*^ his creatures to feed and
sustain me from time to time.''
In his diary for the six next days^ are expressed various ex«
ercises and experiences, such as, sweet composure and fervency
of spirit in meditation and prayer, weanedness from the world,
bein^ sensibly a pilgrim and stranger on the earth, engagedness
of nund to spena every moment of time for God, &c.
July 29. ^ I was examined by the Association met at Dan-
bury, as to my learnings and also my experience in religion, and
received a licence from them to preach the gospel of Christ.
Afterwards felt much devoted to God ; joined in prayer with
one of the ministers, my peculiar friend, in a convenient place,
and went to bed resolving to live devoted to God all my days."
CHAPTER III.
From his Licensure^ till his Examination and Commission as a
Missionary.
July 30, 1742. " Rode from Danbury to Southbury ; preach-
ed there, from 1 Pet, iv. 8. And above all things have fervent
charity^ &c. Had much of the comfortable presence of God
in the exercise. I seemed to have power with God in prayer,
and power to get hold of the hearts of the people in preachmg,
Jtdy 31. " I was calm and composed, as well as greatly re^
freshed and encouraged. ^^
It appears by his diary, that he continued in this sweetness
and tranquillity, almost through the whole of the next week.
Lord*s day^ Aug. 8. " In the morning I felt comfortably in
secret prayer ; my soul was refreshed with the hopes of the
Heathen coming home to Christ ; was much resigned to God,
and thought it was no matter what became of me. — Preached
both parts of the day at Bethlehem, from Job xiv. 14. If a
fMxn aie^ shall he live again^ <&c. It was sweet to me to me-
ditate on death. In the evening, felt very comfortably, and
cried to (Sod fervently in secret prayer.'
^1
It appears by his diary, that he continued through the three
next days J engaged with all his might in the business of religion,
and in almost a constant enjoyment of its comforts.
Aug. 13. ^^ This morning and last night I was exercised with
sore inwiard trials : I had no power to pray : but seemed shut
(Hit from God. I had in a great measure lost my hopes of God^s
sending me among the Heathen afar off, and of seeing them
flock home to CImst. I saw so much of my vileness, that I
wondered that God would let me live, and that people did not
stone me ; much more that they would ever hear me preach !
It seemed as though I never could nor should preach any more,
yet about nine or ten oVlock, the people came over, and I was
forced to preach. And blessed be Gt>d, he gave me his pre|
sence and Spirit in prayer and preaching : so that I was much
B8 MEMOIR^OF BRAIXEKD.
assisted, and spake witli power from Job xiv. 14. Some In-
dians cried out in great distress,^ and all appeared greatly con-
cerned. After we had prayed and exhorted them to seek the
Lord with constancy, and hired an English woman to keep a
kind of school among them, we came away about one o'clock
and came to Judea^ about fifteen or sixteen miles. There God
was pleased to visit my soul with much comfort. Blessed be
the Lord for all things I meet with."
It appears that the two next days he had much comfort, and
had his heart much engaged in religion.
Lord's day^ Aug. 15. " Felt much comfort and devotedness
to God this day. At night, it was refreshing to get alone with
God, and powr outmy soul. Oh, who can conceive of the sweet-
ness of communion with the blessed God, but those who have
experience of it ! Glory to God for ever, that I may taste hea-
ven below.
Aug. 16. " Had some comfort in secret prayer, in the morn-
ing. — Felt sweetly sundry times in prayer this day : but was
much perplexed in the evening with vain conversation.
Aug. 17. "Exceedingly depressed in spirit, it cuts and
wounds my heart, to think how much self-exultation^ spirit-
ual pride^ and warmth of temper^ I hn\e formerly had intermin-
gled with my endeavours to promote God's work : and some-
times I long to lie down at the feet of opposers, and confess
what a poor imperfect creature I have been, and still am.
The Lord forgive me, and make me for the future wise as a
serpent^ and harmless as a dove / Afterwards enjoyed consi-
derable comfort and delight of soul.
Aug. 18. " Spent most of this day in prayer and reading. —
I see so much of my own extreme vileness, that I feel ashamed
and guilty before God and man ; I look to myself like the vilest
fellow in the land : I wonder that God stirs up his people to be
so kind to me.
Aug. 19. " This day, being about to go from Mr. Bellamy's
at Befiilehem, where I had resided some time, I prayed with him,
and two or three other Christian friends. We gave ourselves
to God with all our hearts, to be his for ever : eternity looked
very near to me, while I was praying. If I never should see
these Christians again in this world, it seemed but a few mo-
ments before I should meet them in another world.
Aug. 20. " I appeared so vile to myself, that I hardly dared
to think of being seen, especially on account of spiritual pride.
However, to-night I enjoyed a sweet hour alone with God, (at
♦ It was in a place near Kent, in the western borders of Connecticut, where
there is a noxnber of Indian^.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 69
Hipton :) I was lifted above the frowns and flatteries of this
lower world, had a sweet relish of heavenly joys, and my soul
did, as it were, get into the eternal world, and really taste of
heaven, I had a sweet season of intercession for dear friends
in Christ; and God helped me to cry fervently for Zion.
Blessed be God for this season.
Aug. 21. " Was much perplexed in the morning. — Towards
noon enjoyed more of God in secret; was enabled to feee that
it was best to throw myself into the hands of God, to be dis-
posed of according to his pleasure, and rejoiced in such
thoughts. In the afternoon rode to New-Haven ; was much con-
fused all the way. — Just at night, underwent such a dreadful con-
flict as I have scarce ever felt. I saw myself exceeding vile and
unworthy ; so .that I was guilty, and ashamed that any body
should bestow any favour on me, or show me any respect,
Lord'^s day^ Aug, 22. " In the morning continued still in per-
plexity. — In the evening enjoyed comfort suflicient to overba-
lance all my late distresses. I saw that God is the only soul-
satisfying portion, and I really found satisfaction in him. My
soul was much enlarged in sweet intercession for my fellow-men
every where, and for many Christian friends in particular, in
distant places.
Aug* 23. " Had a sweet season in secret prayer : the Lord
drew near to my soul, and filled me with peace and divine con-
solation. Oh, my soul tasted the sweetness of the upper world ;
and was drawn out in prayer for the world, that it might come
home to Christ ! Had much comfort in the thoughts and hopes
of the ingathering of the Heathen ; was greatly assisted .in in-
tercession for Chnstian friends.^'
He continued still in the same frame of mind the next day^
but in a less degree.
Aug. 25. "In family prayer, God helped me to climb up near
him, so that I scarce ever got nearer."
The /oMr next days he appears to have been the subject of
desertion, and of comfort and fervency in religion, interchangea-
bly, together with a sense of vileness and miprofitableness.
Aug. 30. " Felt somewhat comfortably in the morning ; con-
versed sweetly with some friends ; was in a serious composed
frame ; and prayed at a certain house with some degree of
sweetness. Afterwards, at another house, prayed privately
with a dear Christian friend or two ; and, I think, I scarce ever
launched so far into the eternal world as then ; I got so far out
on the broad ocean, that my soul with joy triumphed over all
the evils on the shores of mortality. I think, time, and all its
70 MEMOIRS OF BRAtXKRD.
gay amusements and cruel disappointments, never appeared so
inconsiderable to me before. I was in a sweet frame ; I saw
myself nothing, and my soul reached after God with intense
desire. Oh, I saw what I owed to God, in such a manner, as I
scarce ever did ! I knew that I had never lived a moment to
him as I should do ; indeed, it appeared to me, that I had
never done any thing in Christianitv : my soul longed with a
vehement desire to five to God. — In the evening, sung and
prayed with a number of Christians : felt the powers of the
world to come in my soul, in prayer. Afterwards prayed again
privately, with a dear Christian or two, and found the presence
of God ; was somewhat humbled in my secret retu^ment :
felt my ingratitude, because I was not wholly swallowed up
in God."
He was in a sweet frame great part of the next day.
. S^t. 1. " Went to Judea, to the ordination of Mr. Judd.
Mr. Bellamy preabhed from Matt xxiv. 46. '' Blessed is that
servant,*' &c. I felt very solemn most of the time ; had my
thoughts much on that time when our Lord will come ; that
time refreshed my soul much ; only I was afraid I should not
be ioxmA faithful^ because I have so vile a heart. My thoughts
were much in eternity, where I love to dwell. Blessed be God
for this solemn season. — Rode home to night with Mr. Bellamy,
conversed with some friends till it was very late, and then re-
tired to rest in a comfortable frame.
Sept. 2. " About two in the afternoon, I preached from John
vi. 67. Then said Jesus unto the twelve^ Will ye also go awa^?
and God assisted me in some comfortable degree ; but more
especially in my first prayer ; my soul seemed then to launch
2uite into the eternal world, and to be as it were, separated
om this lower world. Afterwards preached again from
Isa. V. 4. Wh(xt could have been done more^ &c. God gave
me some assistance ; but I saw myself a poor worm."
On Friday^ Sept. 3. He complains of having but little life
in the things of God, the former part of the day, but afterwards
speaks of sweetness and enlargement.
Sept. 4. Much out of health, exceedingly depressed in my
soul, and at awful distance from God. Towards night, spent
some time in profitable thoughts on Rom. viii. 2. For the law of
the spirit of tife^ &c. Near night, had a very sweet season in
prayer ; God enabled me to wrestle ardently for the advance-
ment of the Redeemer's kingdom ; pleaded earnestly for my
own dear brother John, that God would make him more of a
pilgrim and stranger on the earth, and fit him for singular ser-
viceableness in the world ; and my heart sweetly exulted in the
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 71
Lord, in the thoughts of any distresses that might alight on
him or on me, in the advancement of Christ's kingdom. It
was a sweet and comfortable hour unto my soul, while I was in-
dulged with freedom to plead, not only for myself, but also for
many other souls.
Lord?8 day^ Sept. 5. " Preached all day : was somewhat
strengthened and assisted in the afternoon ; more especially in
the evening : had a sense of my unspeakable failures in all my
duties. I found, alas ! that I had never lived to God in my
life.
Sept. 6. " Was informed, that they only waited for an op-
portunity to apprehend me for preaching at New-Haven lately,
that so they might imprison me. This made me more solemn
and serious, and to quit all hopes of the world's friendship ; it
brought me to a further sense of my vileness, aud just desert of
this, and much more, from the hand of God, thoush not from
the hand of man. Retired into a convenient place in the
woods, and spread the matter before God.
Sq^t. 7. " Had some relish of divine thinss, in the morning.
Afterwards felt more barren and melancholy. Rode to New-
Haven to a friend's house, at a distance from the town ; that I
might remain undiscovered, and yet have opportuni^ to do
business privately, with friends which come Jo commencement.
Sept. 8. " Felt very sweetly, when I first rose in the morning.
In family prayer, had some enlargement, but not much spirit-
uality, till eternity came up before me, and looked near ; I
found some sweetness in the thoughts of bidding a dyins fare-
well to this tiresome world. Though sometime ago I redconed
upon seeing my dear friends at commencement ; yet being
now denied the opportunity, for fear of imprisonment, I felt
totally resigned, and as contented to spend this day alone in
the woods, as I could have done, if I had been allowed to go
to town. Felt exceedingly weaned from the world to-day. In
the afternoon, I discoursed on divine things, with a dear Chris-
tian friend, whereby we were both refreshed. Then I prayed,
with a sweet sense of the blessedness of communion witn God :
I think I scarce ever enjoyed more of God in any one prayer.
Oit was a blessed season indeed to my soul ! I know not
that ever I saw so much of my own nothingness, in my life ;
never wondered so, that God allowed me to preach his word.
This has been a sweet and comfortable day to my soul. Ble^S'
ed he God. Prayed again with my dear friend, with some-
^iiig of the divine presence. I long to be wholly conformed
tp God, and transformed into his image.
Sept. 9. " Spent much of the day alone ; enjoyed the pres-
ence of God in some comfortable degree : was visited by some
4ear friends, and prayed with them : wrote sundry letters to
fri^l^s : felt religion in my soul while writing : enjoyed sweet
72 MEMOIRS OF BRAtNERD.
meditations on some scriptures. In the evening, went very pri-
vately into town, from the place of my residence at the farms,
and conversed with some dear friends ; felt sweetly in singing
hymns with them : and made my escape to the farms affaih,
without being discovered by any enemies, as I knew of. Thus
the Lord preserves me contmually.
Sept. 10. " Longed with intense desire after God ; my whole
soul seemed impatient to be conformed to him, and to become
"holy, as he is noly." In the afternoon, prayed with a dear
friend privately, and had the presence of God with us ; our
souls united together to reach after a blessed immortality, to
be unclothed of the body of sin and death, and to enter the
blessed world, where no unclean thing enters. O, with ^at
intense desire did our souls long for that blessed day, that We
might be freed from sin, and for ever live to and in our God !
In the evening, took leave of that house ; but first kneeled
down and prayed ; the Lord was of a truth in the midst of us ;
it was a sweet parting season ; felt in myself much sweethcfss
and affection in the things of God. Blessed be God for every
such divine gale of his Spirit, to speed me on in my way to the
new Jerusalem ! Felt some sweetness afterwards, and spent
the evening in conversation with friends, and prayed with some
life, and retired to rest very late."
The^ve next days^ he appears to have been in an exceeding*
ly comfortable frame of mind, for the most part, and to have
been the subject of the like heavenly exercises as are often ex-
pressed in preceding passages of his diary ; such as, having his
heart much engaged for God, wrestling with him in prayer
with power and ardency ; enjoying at times sweet calmness and
composure of mind, giving himself up to God to be his forever
with great complacence of mind ; being wholly resigned to
the will of God, that he might do with him what he pleased ;
longing to improve time, having the eternal world, as it were,'
brought nigh ; longing after God and holiness, earnestly de-
siring a complete conformity to him, and wondering how poor
souls do to exi^t without God.
Sept. 16. " At night, enjoyed much of God, in secret pray-
er : felt an uncommon resignation, to be and do what God
pleased. Some days past, 1 felt great perplexity on account
of my past conduct: ;ny bitterness^ and want of christian
kindness and love, has been very distressing to my soul : the'
Lord forgive me my unchristian warmth^ and want of a spirit of
meekness !
The next day^ he speaks of much resignation, calmness, and
peace of mind, and near views of the eternal world. #
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERP. T3
Sept. 18. " Felt some compassion for souls, and mourned
that 1 had no more. I feel much more kindness, meekness,
(ntlcBess, and love towards all mankind, than ever. I long to
) at the feet of my enemies and persecutors : enjoyed some
sweetness in feeling my soul conformed to Christ Jesus, and
given away to him for ever.
The next day^ he speaks of much dejection and discourage-
ment, from an apprehension of his own unfitness, ever to do
any good in preaching*, but blesses God for all dispensations
of providence and grace ; finding that by all God weaned him
more from the world, and made him more resigned.
The next ten days^ he appears to have been for the most
part under great degrees of melancholy, exceedingly dejected
and discouraged : speaks of his being ready to give up all for
gone respecting the cause of Christ, and exceedingly longing
to die: yet had some sweet seasons and intervals of comfort,
and special assistance and enlargement in the duties of religion,
and in performing public services, and considera;ble success in
them.
^ept. 30. " Still very low in spirits ; I did not know how to
engage in any work or business, especially to correct some dis-
orders among Christians ; felt as though I had no power to be
faitUiil in that regard. However, towards noon, I preached
fr<Hn Deut. viiL 3. And thou shalt remember^ &c. and was en^
aUed with freedom to reprove some things in Christians^ con-
duct, I thought very unsuitable and irregular ; insisted near
two hours <Hi this subject."
Through this and the two following weeks^ he passed through
a variety of exercises : he was frequently dejected, and felt in-
ward, distresses : and sometimes sunk into the depths of melan-
choly ; at which turns he was not exercised about the state of
his soul, with regard to the favour of God, and his interest in
Christ, but about his own sinful infirmities, and unfitness for
GodSi service. His mind appears sometimes extremely depres-
sed and sunk, with a sense of inexpressible vileness. But in
the mean-time, he speaks of manv seasons of comfort, and
spiritual refreshment, wherein his heart was encouraged and
strengthened in God, and sweetly resigned to his will ; of some
seasons of very high degrees of spiritual consolation, and of
his great longings after holiness, and conformity to God ; of
his great fear of ofiending God, and of his heart being sweetly
melted in religious duties ; of his longing for the advancement
of Christ^s kingdom, of his having at times much assistance in
preaching, and of remarkable effects on the audience.
Vol. X. 10
/4 MSMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Lord's day^ Oct. 17. *^ Had a considerable sense of my
helplessness and inability ; saw that I must be dependent on
God for all I want ; and especially when I went to the place
of public worship. I found I could not speak a word for God,
without his special help and assistance* I went into the asseoBh
bly trembling, as I frequently do, under a sense of my iiuniffip
ciency to do any thing in the cause of God, as I ought to do.
But it pleased God to afford me. much assistance, aind there
seemed to be a considerable effect on the hearers. Ib the
evening, I felt a disposition to praise God, for his coodaeM to
me, that he had enabled me in some measure to oe fiuthfid ;
and my soul rejoiced to think, that I had thus performed the
work of one day more, and was one day nearer my eternal^ and
1 trust my heavenly home. Oh that I ma}r be ^ taitbfbl to the
death, fulfilling as an hireling my day,^* till the shades of the
evening of life shall free my soul from the toils f4 the dayl
This evening, in secret prayer, I felt exceedingly solemn, and
such longing desires after deliverance from sin, and aftar eon-*
formity to uod, as melted my heart Q I lonsed to be ^ deli>
vered from this body of death !^^ I felt inward, pleasing pain,
that I could not be conformed to God entirely, folly, and
forever. I scarce ever preach without being first visitea with
inward conflicts, and sore trials. Blessed be the Lord for these
trials and distresses, as they are blessed for my humblipg*
Oct. 18. ^' In the mornins, I felt some sweetness, but still
pressed through trials of soul. My life is a constant miilur^
of consolations and conflicts, and will be so till I arrive at the
world of spirits.
Oct. 19. '^ This morning, and last night, I felt a sweet long-
ing in my soul after holiness. My soul seemed so to reach and
stretch towards the mark of perfect sanctity, that it was ready
to break with longings.
Oct. 20. ^^ Very infirm in body, exercised with much pain,
and very lifeless in divine things. Felt a little sweetness in the
evening.
Oct. 21. " Had a very deep sense of the vanity of the world,
most of the day ; had little more regard to it, than if i had
been to go into eternity the neXt hour. Through divine gOfpd*
ness, I felt very serious and solemn. 0, 1 love to Iwe on tts
brink of eternity^ in my views and meditations ! This gives me
a sweet, awful, and reverential sense and apprehension of God
and divine things, when I see myself as it were, standing ft^ore
the judgment seat of Christ.
Oct. 22. ^^ Uncommonly weaned fi'om the world t(Mlay :
my soul delighted to be a stranger and pilgrim on the earth; I
felt a disposition in me never to have any thing to do mtfi this
world. The character given of some of the ancient people oif
God, in Heb. xi. 13, was very pleasing to me, " They conmjsed
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. /.)
that tiiey were pilgrims and strangers on the earth,^^ by tiieir
daily practice ; and Oh that I could always do so ! Spent some
considerable time in a pleasant grove, in prayer and medita-
tion. Oh it is sweet, to be thus weaned from friends, and from
myself, and dead to the present world, that so I may live wholly
to and upon the blessed God ! Saw myself little, low, and vile
in myselC In the afternoon, preached at Bethlehem, from
Deut Viii. 3. God helped me to speak to the hearts of dear
christians. Blessed be the Lord for this season : I trust they
and I shall rejoice on this account, . to all eternity. Dear Mr.
Bellamy came in, while I was making the first prayer, (bein^ re-
tunied home from a journey ;) and after meeting, we walked
away together, and spent the evening in sweetly conversing on
divine things, and praying together, with sweet and tender love
to each other, and retired to rest with our hearts in a serious
qixiritual frame.
Oct. 23* '^ Somewhat perplexed and confused. Rode this
day from Bethlehem to Simsbury.
Lord*s day^ Oct. 24. " Felt so vile and unworthy, that I
scarce knew how to converse with human creatures.
Oct. 25. " [At Turkey Hills.] In the evening, I enjoyed the
divine presence, in secret prayer. It was a sweet and comfort-
able season to me ; my soul longed for the living God: en-
joyed a sweet solemnitjr of spirit, and longing desire after the
recovery of the divine image in my soul. ^ Then shall I be sa-
tisfied when 1 shall awake in God's likeness,' and never be-
i(we
Oa. 26. " [At West Suffield.] Underwent the most dread-
fill distresses, under a sense of my own unworthiness. It seem-
ed to me, that I deserved rather to be driven out of the place,
than to have any body treat me with any kindness, or come to
hear me preach. And verily my spirits were so depressed at
thk time, (as at many others,) that it was impossible 1 should
treat immortal souls with faithfrilness. I could not deal close-
ly and fiuthfiiliy with them, I felt so infinitely vile in myself. O
wiial duit and ashes I am, to think of preaching the gospel to^
odiprs I Indeed, I never can be faithful for one moment, biit^
siiall certainly ^^ daub with untempered mortar,'' if God do not
oiuit me special help. In the evening, I went to the meetmg
Bpuse, and it looked to me near as easy for one to rise out of
the j^ve and preach, as for me. However, God afforded me
aomp 1^ and power, both in prayer and sermon ; and was
pleaiied to lift me up, and show me that he could enable me to
vmitiu O the wonderfril goodness of God to so vile a sinner I
.Vetonied to my quarters; and enjoyed some sweetness in
pmer alone, and mourned that I could not live more to God.
ycU 27. ^' I q>ent the forenoon in prayer and meditation ; was
not ft little concerned about preaching in the afternoon : felt
70 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.
exceedingly without strength^ and very helpless indeed ; and
«vent into the meeting-house, ashamed to see any come to hear
such an unspeakable worthless wretch. However, God enabled
me to speak with clearness, power, and pungency. But there
was some noise and tumult in the assembly, mat I did not well
like; and I endeavoured to bear public testunony against it with
moderation and mildness through the current of my discoorse.
In the evening, was enabled to be in some measure tfaankib],
and devoted to God."
The frames and exercises of his mind, during the four next
days were similar to those of the two days past ; except intervals
of considerable degrees of divine peace and consolation.
The things expressed within the space of the three following
day 9^ are such as these : some seasons of dejection, mourning for
bemg so destitute of the exercises of grace, longing to be de-
livered from sin, pressing after more knowledge of God, seasons
of sweet consolation, precious and intimate converse with God
in secret prayer, sweetness of christian conversation, &c.
Within this time, he rode from Sufiield, to Eastbury, HebroOs
and Lebanon.
Nov. 4. " [At Lebanon.] Saw much of my nothingne^
most of this day : but felt concerned that I had no more sense of
my insufficiency and un worthiness. O it is sweet lying in the
dust ! But it is distressing to feel in my soul that hell of cor-
ruption, which still remains in me. In the afternoon, had a
sense of the sweetness of a strict, close and constant devoted-
ness to God, and my soul was comforted with his consolations.
My soul felt a pleasing, yet painful concern, lest I should
spend some moments without God. O may I always live to
God! In the evening, I was visited by some friends, and spent
the time in prayer, and such conversation as tended to our edi-
fication. It was a comfortable season to my soul : I felt an in-
tense desire to spend every moment for God. God is unspeak-
ably gracious to me continually. In times past, he has given
me inexpressible sweetness in the performance of duty. Fre-
quently my soul has enjoyed much of God ; but has been ready
to say, " Lord, it is good to be here ;" and so to indulge sloth
lyhile I have lived on the sweetness of my feelings. But of late,
God has been pleased to keep my soul hungry almost contin-
ually ; so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain.
When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of him the more
insatiable, and my thirstings afler holiness the more unquench-
able ; and the Lord will not allow me to feel as though
I were fully supplied and satisfied, but keeps me still reaching^
forward. I feel barren and empty, as though I could not live,
without more of God ; I feel ashamed and guilty before him., t.
MEMOIRS OF BKAINEKD. 77
see that *" the law is spiritual, but I am carnal-" I do not, 1
cannot live to God. Oh for holiness ! Oh for more of God in
mjrsoiil ! Oh this pleasing pain ! It makes my soul press after
God ; the language of it is, " Then shall I be satisfied, when I
awake in God's likeness^" but never, never before : and conse-
Juently, I am engaged to " press towards the mark," day by
ay. Oh that I may feel this continual hunger, and not be re-
tarded, but rather aniniated by every cluster from Canaan, to
reach forward in the narrow -way, for the full enjoyment and
possession of the heavenly inheritance ! Oh that i may never
loiter in my heavenly journey !"
- These insatiable desires after God^ and holiness, continued
the two next days^ with a great sense of his own exceeding un-
worthiness, and the nothingness of the things of this world.
LortVs day^ Nov. 7. " [At Millington.] It seemed as if such
an unholy wretch as I never could arrive at that blessedness, to
be " holy, as God is holy." At noon, I longed for sanctification
and conformity to God. O that is the all, the all.
The Lord help me to press after God for ever.
Nov. 8. " Towaros night, enjoyed much sweetness in secret
prayer, so that my soul longed for an arrival in the heavenly
country^ the blessed paradise of God. Through divine goodf-
ness, I have scarce seen the day for two months, in which death
has not looked so pleasant to me, at one time or other of the
day, that I could have rejoiced that the present should be my
/o^^, notwithstanding my present inward trials and conflicts. I
trust, the Lord will finally make me' a conqueror^ and more than
a conqueror; and that 1 shall be able to use that triumphant
language, "O death where is thy sting!" And, "O* grave,
where is thy victory !"
Within the next ten days^ the following things are expressed,
longing and wrestling to be holy, and to live to God ; a desire
that every single thought might be for God ; feeling guilty, that
his thoughts were no more swallowed up in God ; sweet solem-
nity and calmness of mind ; submission and resignation to God ;
great weanedness fi'om the world ; abasement in the dust ; gnef
at some vain conversation that was observed ; sweetness from
time to time in secret prayer, and in conversing and praying
with Christian friends. And every day he appears to nave
been greatly engaged in the great business of religion, and living
to God, without interruption.
Nov. 19. " [At New-Haven.] Received a letter from the
Reverend Mr. Pemberton, of New- York, desiring me speedily
to go down thither, and consult about the Indian affairs in
78 MEMOIRS OF BRAINE&D.
those parts ; and to meet certain gentlemen there who were in-
trusted with those affairs. My mind was instantly seized with
concern ; so I retired with two or three Christian friends, and
prayed ; and indeed, it was a sweet time with me. I was enabled
to leave myself, and all my concerns with God ; and taking leave
of friends, I rode to Ripton, and was comforted in an opportuni-
ty to see and converse with dear Mr. Mills."
In the four next following day 8^ he was sometimes oppressed
with the weight of that great affiiir, about which Mr. Pembert<m
had written to him ; but was enabled from time to time to ^^ cast
his burden on the Lord," and to commit himself and all his
concerns to him. He continued still in a sense of the excellency
of holiness, longing after it, and earnest desires i<x the ad-
vancement of Christ's kingdom in the world ; and had from
time to time sweet comfort in meditation and prayer.
2Vitw. 24. " Came to New-York ; felt still much concerned
about the importance of my business -, put up many earnest re-
quests to God for his help and direction ; was confused with the
noise and tumult of the city ; but enjoyed little time alone with
God ; but my soul longed after him.
Nov. 25. ^^ Spent much time in prayer and supplication :
was examined by some gentlemen, of my Christian experiences,
and my acquaintance with divinity, and some other studies, in
order to my improvement in that important affair of evangelizing
^e Heathen ;'^ and was made sensible of my great ignorance and
unfitness for public service. I had the most abasing thoughts
of myself, I think, that ever I had ; I thought myself the worst
wretch that ever lived : it hurt me, and pained my very heart,
that any body should show me any respect. Alas ! methought
how sadly they are deceived in me ! how miserably would they
be disappointed if they knew mv inside ! O my heart ! And in
this depressed condition, I was K)rced to go and preach to a con-
siderable assembly, before some grave and learned ministers ;
but felt such a pressure from a sense of my vileness, ignorance
and unfitness to appear in public, that I was almost overcome
with it ; my soul was grieved for the congregation ; that they
should sit there to hear such a dead dog as I preach. I thought
myself infinitely indebted to the people, and longed that God
would reward them with the rewards of his grace. I spent
much of the evening alone."
^Theae g^entlemen who examined Mr. Brainerd, were the Correspondents tn
New- York, New-Jersey, and Pennsylvania of Uie honourable Society in Scotland
for propagating Christian knowledge; to whom was committed the management
of their aSairs in those parts, and who were now met at New- York.
CHAPTER IV.
j^Vorn lAe time of his Examination and Commission as a Mis-
sionary^ to his entrance on his Mission among the Indians at
Kcnmaumeek,
Nov. 96, 1742. " Had still a sense of my great vileness, and
endeavoured as much as I could to keep alone. O what a no-
thing, what dust and ashes am 1 ! Enjoyed some peace and
comfort in spreading my complaints before the God of all
grace.
Nov. 27. " Committed my soul to God with some degree of
comfort; left New- York about nine in the morning ; came away
with a distressing sense still of my unspeakable unwbrthiness.
Surely I may well love all mv brethren ; for none of them all is
so vile as I : whatever they do outwardly, yet it seems to me
none is so conscious of so much guilt before God. O my lean-
ness, mv barrenness ; my carnsdity, and past bitternejss, ami
want of a gospel temper! These things oppress my soul.
Rode from New- York, thirty miles, to White rlains, and most
of the way continued lifting up my heart to God for mercy and[
purifying grace: and spent the evening much dejected in
spirit"
The three next days^ he continued in this frame, in a great
sense of his own vileness, with an evident mixture of melan-
choly, in no small degree ; but had some intervals of comfort
and God^s sensible presence with him.
Dec. 1. ^* My soul breathed after God, in sweet spiritual and
longing desires of conformity to him ; my soul was brought to
rest itself and all, on his rich grace, and felt strength and en-
couragement to do or suffer any thing that divine providence
should allot me. Rode about twenty miles from Stratfield to
Newtown."
Within the space of the next nine days^ he went a journey
from Newtown to Haddam, his native town ; and after staying
there some days, returned again into the western part of Con-
necticut, and came to Southbury. In his account of the frames
and exercises of his mind, during this space of time, are such
80 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
things as these ; frequent turns of dejection ; a sense of his
vileness, emptiness, and an unfathomable abyss of desperate
wickedness in his heart, attended with a conviction that he had
never seen but little of it ; bitterly mourning over his barren-
ness, being greatly grieved that he could not live to God, to
whom he owed his all ten thousand times^ crying out, ^ My
leanness, my leanness !'^ a sense of the meetness and suitable-
ness of his lying in the dust beneath the feet of infinite ma-
jesty ; fervency and ardour in prayer ; longing to live to God ;
being afflicted with some impertinent, triflmg conversation
that he heard ; but enjoying sweetness in Christian conversation.
Dec. 11. "Conversed with a dear friend, to whom I had
thought of giving a liberal education, and being at the whole
<*liarge of it, that he might be fitted for the gospel ministry.*
I acquainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and so left
him to consider of it, till I should see him again. Then I rode
to Bethlehem, came to Mr. Bellamy^s lodgings, and spent the
evening with him in sweet conversation and prayer. We re-
commended the concern of sending my friend to college to the
God of all grace. Blessed be the Lord for this evening's op-
portunity together.
hordes day^ Dec. 12. " I felt, in the morning, as if I had little
or no power either to pray or to preach ; and felt a distressing
need of divine help. I went to meeting trembling; but it
pleased God to assist me in prayer and sermon. I think my
soul scarce ever penetrated so far into the immaterial world, in
any one prayer that I ever made, nor were my devotions ever so
free from gross conceptions and imaginations framed from be-
holding material objects. I preached with some sweetness,
fi'om Matt. vi. 33. nut seek ye first the kingdom ofGod^ &c.;
and in the afternoon, fi-om Rom. xv. 30. And now I beseech
you brethren^ &c. There was much afiection in the assembly.
This has been a sweet Sabbath to me ; and blessed be God,
I have reason to think that my religion is become more spirit-
ual, by means of my late inward conflicts. Amen. May I
always be wifling that God should use his own methods with
me!
^ * Braiserd, havings now undertaken the business of a missionary to the In-
dians, and expecting in a little time to leave his native country, to go among
the savages into the wilderness, far distant, and spend the remainder of hia life
among Uiem — and having some estate left him by his father, and thinking he
should have no occasion for it among them, (though afterwards, as he told me, he
foand himself mistaken,) — set himself to think which way he might spend it
most for the glory of God ; and no way presenting to his thoughts, wherein he
could do more good with it, than by being at the charge of educating some young
person for the ministry, who appeared to be of good abilities, and weU disposed,
he fixed upon the person here spoken of to this end. Accordingly he was soon put
to learning; and Braiwerd continued to be at the charge of his education firom
year to year, so long as he lived, which was till this young man was carried
through his third year in college.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 81
Dec. 13. ^- Joined in prayer with Mr. Bellamy ; and found
sweetness and composure in parting with him, as he went a
journey. Enjoyed some sweetness tnrough the day ; and just
at night rode down to Woodbury.
Dec. 14. " Some perplexity nuns; on my mind ; I was dis-
tressed last night and this morning for the interest of Zion, es-
pecially on account of the false appearances of religion^ that
do but rather breed confusion, especially in some places. I
cried to God for help, to enable me to bear testimony against
those things, which, instead of promoting, do but hinder the
progress of vital piety. In the afternoon, rode down to South-
bury ; and conversed again with my friend about the important
affair of his pursuing the work of the ministry ; and he ap-
peared much inclined to devote himself to that work, if God
should succeed his attempts- to qualify himself for so great a
work. In the evening I preached from 1 Thess. iv. 8. He
therefore that despiseth^ &c. and endeavoured, though with
tenderness, to undermine false religion. The Lord gave me
some assistance ; but, however, I seemed so vile, I was asham-
ed to be seen when I came out of the meeting-house.
Dec. 15. " Enjoyed something of God to-day, both in secret
and in social prayer ; but was sensible of much barrenness and
defect in duty, as well ag my inability to help myself for the
time to come, or to perform the work and business I have to
do. Afterwards, felt much of the sweetness of religion, and
the tenderness of the gospel-temper. I found a dear love to all
mankind, and was much afraid lest some motion of anger or
resentment should, some time or other, creep into my heart.
Had some comforting, soul-refreshing discourse with dear
friends, just as we took our leave of each other ; and supposed
it might be likely we should not meet again till we came to the
eternal world.* I doubt not, through grace, but that some of
Us shall have a happy meeting there, and bless God for this
Season, as well as many others. Amen.
Dec. 16. " Rode down to Derby ; and had some sweet
thoughts on the road : especially on the essence of our salva-
tion by Christ, from these words, Thou shalt call his name Jesus^
Dec. 17. "Spent much time in sweet conversation on
spiritual things with dear Mr. Humphreys. Rode to Rip-
ton ; spent some time in prayer with dear Christian friends.
Dec. 18. " Spent much time in prayer in the woods ; and
"** It had been determined by the commissioners, who employed Brainerb
^ a missionary, that he should go as soon as might be, convenienUy, to the In-
^ans Uving near the Forks of Delaware river, in Pennsylvania, and the Indians
On Snsquehannah river ; which being far off, where also he would be exposed to
many hardships and dangers, was the occasion of his taking leave of his friends
in tins manner.
Vob.x. n
82 MEMOIRS or BRAINERD.
seemed raised above the things of the world : my soul was
strong in the Lord of hosts ; but was sensible of great bar-
renness.
hordes day^ Dec. 19. "At the sacrament of the Lord^s
supper I seemed strong in the Lord ; and the world, with all its
frowns and flatteries, m a great measure disappeared, so that
my soul had nothing to do with them ; and I felt a disposition
to be wholly and for ever the Lord^s. — In the evening, enjoyed
something of the divine presence ; had a humbling sense of my
vileness, barrenness, and sinfiilness. Oh, it wounded me to
think of the misimprovement of time ! God he merciful to me
a sinner,
Dec. 20. " Spent this day in prayer, reading, and writing ;
and enjoyed some assistance, especially in correcting some
thoughts on a certain subject ; but had a mournful sense of my
barrenness.
Dec. 2L " Had a sense of my insufliciency for any public
work and business, as well as to live to God. I rode over to
Derby, and preached there. It pleased God to give me very
sweet assistance and enlargement, and to enable me to speak
with a Soft, tender power and energy. — We had afterwards a
comfortable evening in singing and prayer. God enabled me
to pray with as much spirituality and sweetness as I have done
for some time : my mind seemed to be unclothed of sense and
imagination, and was in a measure let into the immateriid
world of spirits. This day was, I trust, through infinite good-
ness, made very profitable to a number of us, to advance our
souls in holiness and conformity to God : the glory be to him
for ever. Amen. Hoto blessed is it to grow more and more
like God.
Dec. 22. " Enjoyed some assistance in preaching at Ripton ;
but my soul mourned within me for my barrenness.
Dec. 23. " Enjoyed, I trust, the presence of God this mom*
ing in secret. On, how divinely sweet is it to come into the
secret of his presence, and abide in his pavilion! — ^Took an
afiectionate leave of friends, not expecting to see them again
for a very considerable time, if ever in this world. Rode with
Mr. Humphreys to his house in Derby ; spent the time in sweet
conversation ; my soul was refreshed and sweetly melted with
divine things. Ob that I was always consecrated to God I
Near night, I rode to New-Haven, and there enjoyed some
sweetness in prayer and conversation, with some dear Christian
friends. My mmd was sweetly serious and composed; but
alas ! I too much lost the sense of divine things.^^
He continued much in the same frame of mind, and in like
exercises, the two following days.
2dEH0IRS OF BRAINERO. 83
hordes Day^ Dec. 26. '' Felt much sweetness and tenderness
in prayer, especially my whole soul seemed to love my worst
enemies, and was enabled to pray for those that are strangers
and enemies to God, with a great decree of softness and pa-
thetic fervour. In the evening, rode from New-Haven to
Branfcml, after I had kneeled down and prayed with a number
of dear Christian friends in a very retired place in the woods,
and so parted.
D^c 27* ^*' Enjoyed a precious season indeed ; had a sweet
melting sense of divine things, of die pure spirituality of the
religion of Christ Jesus. In the evening, 1 preached from
Matt. vL 33. But seek ye Jirst^ &c. with much freedom, and
sweet power and pungency : the presence of God attended our
meetiiig. Oh, the sweetness, the tenderness I felt in my soul !
If ever I felt the temper of Christ, I had some sense of it now.
Blessed be my God, I have seldom enjoyed a more comfortable
and profitable day than this. Oh, that I could spend all my
time for God I
JDec 28. '' Rode from Branford to Haddam. In the morn-
ing my clearness and sweetness in divine things continued :
but afterwards my spiritual life sensibly declined.^'
The next twelve days^ he was for the most part extremely
<lejected, discouraged, and distressed ; and was evidently very
much QiKler the power of melancholy. There are from day to
day most bitter complaints of exceeding vileness, ignorance,
suid corruption ; an amazing load of gmlt, unwortbiness, even
X.O creep on God^s earth, everlasting uselessness, fitness for no-
^tiiing, dLC. and sometimes expressions even of horror at the
tiioii^ts of ever preaching again. But yet, in this time of
^reat dejection, he speaks of several intervals of divine help
^nd cmnfort.
The three next days^ which were spent at Hebron and the
Orank, (a parish in Lebanon,) he had relief, and enjoyed con-
siderable comfort. _
Jan. 14, 1743. '^ My spiritual conflicts to-day were unspeak-
Uy dreadful, heavier than the mountains and overflowing
floods. I seemed inclosed, as it were, in hell itself: 1 was de-
prived of all sense of God, even of the being of a God ; and
that was my misery. I had no awfiil apprehensions of God as
angry. This was distress, the nearest akin to the damned^s
tormeats, that I ever endured : their torment, I am sure, will
ccHudat. much in a privaJtion of God^ and consequently of all
^good» . This taught me the absolute dependence of a creature
upon God the Creator, for every crumb of happiness it enjoys.
Oh, I feel that, if there b no God, though I might live for ever
here, and enjoy not only this* but all other worlds, I should be
84 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
ten thousand times more miserable than a reptile. My soul
was in such anguish I could not eat ; but felt as I suppose a
roor wretch would that is just going to the place of executioR.
was almost swallowed up with anguish, when I saw people
gathering together, to hear me preach. However, I went in
that distress to the house of God, and found not much relief in
the first prayer: it seemed as if God would let loose the pe<H>Ie
upon me to destroy me ; nor were the thoughts of death oich
tressing to me, like my own vileness. But afterwards in my
discourse from Deut. viii. 2. God was pleased to give me some
freedom and enlargement, some power and spirituali^ ; and I
spent the evening somewhat comfortably."
The two next day 8^ his comfort continues, «md he seems to
enjoy an almost continual sweetness of soul in the duties and
exercises of religion and christian conversation. On Monday
was a return of the gloom he had been under the Friday be-
fore. He rode to Coventry this day, and the latter part dt Uie
day had more fi'eedom. On Tuesday he rode to Canterbury^
and continued more comfortable.
Jan. 19. "[At Canterbur}'.] In the afternoon preached
the lecture at the Meeting-house ; felt some tenderness, and
somewhat of the gospel temper : exhorted the people to love
one another, and not to set up their own frames as a standard
by which to try all their brethren. But was much pressed,
most of the day, with a sense of my own badness, inward inii*
purity, and unspeakable corruption. Spent the evening in
tender, Christian conversation.
Jan. 30. " Rode to my brother's house between Norwich
and Lebanon ; and preached in the evening to a number of
people: enjoyed neither freedom nor spirituality, but saw my-
self exceeding unworthy.
Jan. 21. " Had great inward conflicts ; enjoyed but little
comfort. Went to see Mr. Williams of Lebanon, and spent
several hours with him ; and was greatly delighted with his se-
rious, deliberate, and impartial way of discourse about reli-
gion."
The next day he waS much dejected.
hordes day^ Jan. 23. I scarce ever felt myslelf so unfit to
exist as now : saw I was not worthy of a place amonff the
Indians, where I am going, if God permit: thought I should
be ash.amed to look them in the face, and much more to have
any respect shewn me there. Indeed I felt myself banished
from the earth, as if all places were too good for such a
wretch. I thought I should be ashamed to go among the very
M£MOIRS or BRAIKERD. 85
savages of Africa; 1 appeared to myself a creature fit for
nothing, neither neaven nor earth. — None know, but those who
feel it, what the soul endures that is sensibly shut out from the
presence of God : alas ! it is more bitter than death/'
On Monday he rode to Stonington, Mr. Fish's parish. — On
Tuesday he expresses considerable degrees of spiritual comfort
and refreshment.
Jan. 26. " Preached to a pretty large assembly at Mr. Fish's
meeting house : insisted on humility and steadfastness in keep
ing God's commands ; and that through humility we should
prefer one another in love, and not make our own frames the
rule by which we judge others. I felt sweetly calm, and full of
brotherly love : and never more free from party spirit. I hope
some good will follow ; that Christinns will be freed from false
Joy, and party zeal, and censuring one another."
On Thursday^ after considerable time spent in prayer and
Christian conversation, he rode to New-London.
Jan. 28. " Here 1 found some fallen into extravagancies ; too
much carried away with a false zeal and bitterness. Oh, the
"want of a gospel temper is greatly to be lamented. Spent the
evening in conversing about some points of conduct in both
Tninisters and private Christians ; but did not agree with them,
^od had not taught them with briars and thorns to be of a
Ikind disposition towards mankind."
On Saturday^ he rode to East-Haddam, and spent the three
^^oUowing days there. In that space of time he speaks of
feeling weanedness from the world, a sense of the nearness of
eternity, special assistance in praying for the enlargement of
Christ's kingdom, times of spiritual comfort, &c.
Feb* 2. " Preached my farewell sermon last night, at the
house of an aged man, who had been unable to attend on the
public worship for some time. This morning, spent the time
in prayer, almost wherever I went ; and having taken leave of
friends, I set out on my journey towards the Indians ; though
I was to spend some time at East-Hampton, on Long-Island, by
leave of the commissioners who employed me in the Indian
affair ;* and being accompanied by a messenger from East-
* The reaaon why the commissioners or correspondents did not order Braijt-
SED to go immediatelyto the Indians, and enter on his business as a missionary
was, that the winter was not judged to be a convenient season for him first to go
oQt into the wilderness, and enter on the difficulties and hardships to which he
miut there be exposed.
86 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Hampton, we travelled to Lyme. On the road I felt an un-
common pressure of mind : I seemed to struggle hard for some
pkasure in something here below, and seemed loth to give up
all for gone ; saw 1 was evidently throwing myself into all
hardships and distresses in my present undertaking. I thought
it would be less difficult to lie down in the grave ; but yet I
chose to go, rather than stay. — Came to Lyme that night.^^
He waited the two next days for a passage over the sound,
and spent much of the time in inward conflicts and dejection,
but had some comfort
On Sahirday he crossed the Sound, landed at Oyster-pond-
e>int cm Long-Island, and travelled from thence to East-
ampton. And the seven following days he spent there, for
the most part, under extreme dejection and gloominess of mind
with great complaints of darkness, ignorance, &c. Yet his
heart appears to have been constantly engaged in the great
business of religion, much concerned for the interest of reli-
gion in East-Hampton, and praying and labouring much for it.
Feb. 12. " Enjoyed a little more comfort ; was enabled to
meditate with some composure of mind ; and especially in the
evening, found my soul more refreshed in prayer, than at any
time of late ; my soul seemed to " take hold of Uod's strength,"
and was comforted with his consolations. O, how sweet are
some glimpses of divine glory ! how strengthening and quick-
ening !
Lord^s day^ Feb. 13. " At noon, under a great degree of dis-
couragement ; knew not how it was possible for me to preach
in the afternoon. I was ready to give up all for gone ; but
God was pleased to assist me in some measure. In the even-
ing my heart was sweetly drawn out after God, and devoted
to him.'*
The next day^ he had comfort and dejection intermingled.
Feb. 15. " Early in the day I felt some comfort ; afterwards
I walked into a neighbouring grove, and felt more as a stranger
on earth, I think, than ever before ; dead to any of the enjoy-
ments of the world, as if I had been dead in a natural sense.—
In the evening, had divine sweetness in secret duty ; God was
then my portion, and my soul rose above those deep waters^
into which I have sunk so low of late. — My soul then cried for
Zion, and had sweetness in so doing.''
This sweet frame continued the next morning ; but after-
wards his inward distress returned.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ' 87
Feb. 17. " In the morning, found myself comfortable, and
rested on God in some measure. — Preached this day at a little
idllage belonging to East Hampton ; and God was pleased to
give me his gracious presence and assistance, so that I spake
ivith freedom, boldness, and some power. In the evening spent
some time with a dear Christian friend ; and felt serious, as on
the brink of eternity. My soul enjoyed sweetness in lively appre-
hensions of standing before the elorious God : prayed with my
dear friend with sweetness, and discoursed with the utmost
solemnity. And truly it was a little emblem of heaven itselt — I
Bnd my soul is more refined and weaned from a dependence on
my frames and spiritual feelings.
Feb. 18. " Felt somewhat sweetly most of the day, and found
access to the throne of grace. Blessed be the Lord for any in-
tervals of heavenly delight and composure, while 1 am engaged
in. the field of battle. Oh, that I might be serious, solemn, and
always vigilant, while in an evil worla ! Had some opportunity
alone to day, and found some freedom in study. 0, 1 long to
live to GodI
Feb. 19. "Was exceeding infirm to-day, greatly troubled
with pain in my head and dizziness, scarce able to sit up.
However, enjoyed something of God in prayer, and performed
some necessary studies. I exceedingly longed to die ; and yet,
through divine goodness, have felt very willing to live, for two
or three davs past.
Lord*8 day^ Feb. 20. " I was perplexed on account of my
carelessness ; thought I could not be suitably concerned about
the important work of the day, and so was restless with my
easiness. Was exceeding infirm again to-day ; but the Lord
strengthened me, both in the outward and inward man, so that
J preached with some life and spirituality, especially in the after-
noon, wherein I was enabled to speak closely against selfish
religion ; that loves Christ for his benefits, but not for himself.'*
During the next j^ortnight^ it appears that for the most part
he enjoyed much spirituafpeace and comfort. In his diary for
this space of time, are expressed such things as these ; mourn-
ing over indwelling sin, and unprofitableness ; deadness to the
world ; longing after God, and to live to his glory ; heart melt-
ing desires after his eternal home ; fixed reliance on God for
km help ; experience of much divine assistance, both in the
ivivate and public exercises of religion ; inward strength and
courage in the service of God ; very frequent refreshment, con-
solation, and divine sweetness in meditation, prayer, preach*
ing, and christian conversation. ■ And it appears by his account,
that this space of time was filled up with great diligence and
earnestness in serving God, in study, prayer, meditation, preach-
ing and privately instructing and counselling.
88 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
March 7. " This morning when I arose, I found my hearty
forth after God in longing desires of conformity to hun, and m
secret prayer found myself sweetly quickened and drawn out in
praises to God for all he had done to and for me, and for aH
my inward trials and distresses of late. My heart ascribed glory,
glory, glory to the blessed God ! and bid welcome to all iifward
distress again, if God saw meet to exercise me with it. Tknc
appeared but an inch long, and eternity at hand ; and I thought
I could with patience and cheerfulness bear any thing for the
cause of God ; for I saw that a moment would bring me to a
world of peace and blessedness. My soul, by the strength of
the Lord, rose far above this lower world, and all the vain
amusements and frightful disappointments of it Afterwards,
had some sweet meditation on Genesis v. 24. And Enoch
walked with God^ &c. Thb was a comfortable day to my soul.*'
The next day, he seems to have continued in a considerable
degree of sweetness and fervency in religion.
March 9. " Endeavoured to commit myself, and all my con-
cerns to God. Rode sixteen miles to Montauk,* and had some
inward sweetness on the road ; but somewhat of flatness and
deadness after I came there and had seen the Indians. I- with-
drew, and endeavoured to pray, but found myself awftiily de-
serted and left, and had an afflicting sense of my vileness and
meanness. However, I went and preached from Is. liii. 10.
Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him, &c. Had some assist- •
ance ; and I trust somewhat of the divine presence was among '
us. In the evening, I again prayed and exhorted among theib,^
after having had a season alone, wherein I was so pressed witlu
the blackness of my nature, that I thought it was not fit for
me to speak so much as to Indians.^^
The next day he returned to East-Hampton ; was exceeding
infirm in body, through the remaining part of this week ; but
speaks of assistance and enlargment in study and religious exer
cises, and of inward sweetness, and breathing after God.
Lord^s day, March 13. " At noon, I thought it impossible fc
me to preach, by reason of bodily weakness, and inward dew
ness. In the first prayer, I was so weak that I could hard
stand ; but in the sermon God strengthened me, so that I spa
near an hour and a half with sweet fi*eedom, clearness, a
some tender power from Gen. v. 24. And Enoch walked to
God. I was sweetly assisted to insist on a close walk with C
and to leave this as my parting advice to God's people hi
that they should walk with God. May the God of all gr
succeed my poor labours in this place !
♦ Montaak is the eastern cape or end of Long-Island, inhabited chiefly b
dians.
M£M01K;3 OF BRAliN£Rl>. 89
March 14. " In the morning, was very busy in preparation
for my journey, and was almost continually engaged in ejacula-
tory. prayer. About ten, took leave of the dear people of East-
Hampton ; my heart grieved and mourned, and rejoiced at the
same time ; rode near fifty miles to a part of Brook-Haven, and
lodged there, and had re&eshing conversation with a Christian
friend."
In two days more, he reached New-York ; but complauis
of much desertion and deadness on the road. He stayed one
day in New- York, and on Friday went to Mr. Dickinson's at
Elizabeth-Town. His complaints are the same as on the two
preceding days.
March 19. "Was bitterly distressed under a sense of my ig-
norance, darkness, and unworthiness ; got alone, and poured
out my complaint to God in the bitterness of my soul, in the
afternoon, rode to Newark, and had some sweetness in con-
Tersation with Mr. Burr,* and in praying together. O blessed
l)e God for ever and ever, for any enlivening and quickening
^seasons.
Lord^s day, March 20. " Preaphed in the forenoon : God
^ve me some assistance and sweetness, and enabled me to
speak with real tenderness, love, and impartiality. In the
evening preached again ; and of a truth, God was pleased to
assist a poor worm. Blessed be God, I was enabled to speak
with life, power, and desire of the edification of God's people,
and with some power to sinners. In the evening, I felt spirit-
ual and watchful, lest my heart should by any means be drawn
away from God. O when shall I come to that blessed world,
where every power of my soul will be incessantly and eternally
wound up in heavenly employments and enjoyments, to the
highest degree !
On Monday, he went to Woodbridge, where he speaks of
his being with a number of ministers ;t and, the day following
* Afterwards President Burr, of Nassaa Hall.
t These ministers were the Corretpondents who now met at Woodbridg^e, and
gave Braotkbi) new directions. Instead of sending; him to the Indians i^ the
Forks of Deleware, as before intended, they order^ him to g^o to a number of
Indnuis at Kaananmeek ; a place in the province of New-York, in the woods
between Stockbrid^ and Albany. Tins alteration was occasioned by two
things. 1. Information which the correspondents had received of some conten-
tion now snbsisting between the white people and the Indians at Delaware, con-
earning their lands ; which they sappwed wonld be a hindrance, at present, to
^leir entertainment of a missionary, and to his success among them. 2. Some
intimations which they had receivi^ firom Mr. Sergeant, Missionary to the In-
dians at Stoekbridge, concerning the Indians at Kaunanmeek, and the hopefal
project of sQcccM which a Missionary might have among them.
Vol. X. 11
90 H £IIOIBS OF BRAINEBD.
of his travelling part of the way towards New-York. On Wed-
nesday^ he came to New- York. On Thursday^ he rode near
fifty miles, from New- York to North-Castle. On Friday^ went
to Danbury. Saturday to New-Milford. On the StMnxth he
rode five or six miles to the place near Kent in Connecticut,
called Scaticocke, where dwell a number of Indians,! and
preached to them. On Monday being detained by the rain, he
tarried at Kent. On Tuesday^ he rode from Kent to Salis-
bury. Wednesday^ he went to Sheffield. Thursday^ March
31, he went to Mr. Sergeant^s at Stockbridge. He was deject-
ed and very disconsolate, through the main of this journey
from New-Jersey to Stockbridge ; and especially on ue last
day his mind was overwhelmed with pecidiar gloom and me-
lancholy.
t These were the same Indians which Brainsrd mentions in his Diary, An*^
gust 12, 1742.
CHAPTER V.
From the Commencement of his labours at Kaunaumeek^tohu
Ordination.
April 1, 1743. " I rode to Kaunaumeek, near twenty miles
from Stockbridge, where the Indians live with whom I am con-
. cerned, and there lodged on a little heap of straw. I was great-
ly exercised with inward trials and distresses all day ; and in
the evening, my heart was swik, and I seemed to have no God
to go to. Oh that God would help me !^^
The next five days, he was for the most part in a dejected,
depressed state of mind, and sometimes extremely so. He
speaks of God^s ^' waves and billows rolling over his soul ;'*''
and of his being ready sometimes to say, ^^ Surely his mercy is
clean gone forever, and he will be favourable no more ; and
says, the anguish he endured, was nameless and inconceivable ;
but at the same time speaks thus concerning his distresses,
" What God designs by all my distresses, I know not ; but this
1 know^ I deserve them all, and thousands more.'' He gives
an account of the Indians kindly receiving him, and being se-
riously attentive to his instructions.
April 7. " Appeared to'myself exceedingly ignorant, weak,
helpless, unworthy, and altogether unequal to my work. It
. seemed to me, that I should never do any service, or have any
success among the Indians. My soul was weary of my life ; I
longed for death, beyond measure. When I thought of any
go^y soul departed, my soul was ready to envy him his privi-
lege, thinking, " O when will my turn come ! must it be years
iirst !" But I know these ardent desires, at this and other times,
rose partly for want of resignation to God under all miseries ;
and so were but impatience. Towards night, I had the exer-
. cise of faith in prayer, and some assistance in writing. Oh
. that God would keep me near him !
April 8. " Was exceedingly pressed under a sense of my
pride^ selfishness, bitterness, and party spirit, in times past,
. while I attempted to promote the cause of God. Its vile na-
92 MEMOIRS or BRAINERD.
ture and dreadful consequences appeared in such odious colours
to me, that my very heart was pamed. I saw how poor souls
stumbled over it into everlasting destruction, that 1 was con-
strained to make that prayer in the bitterness of my soul, " O
Lord, deliver me from blood-ffuiltiness." I saw my desert of
hell on this account. My soul was full of inward anguish and
shame before God, that I had spent so much time in conversa-
tion tending only to promote a party-spirit. I saw that I had
not suitably prized mortification, seff-denial, resi^ation under
all adversities, meekness, love, candour, and holiness of heart
and life : and this day was almost wholly spent in such bitter,
and soul-afflicting reflections on my past firames and conduct.
Of late, I have thought much of having the kingdom of Christ
advanced in the world ; but now I saw I had enough to do
within myself. The Lord be merciful to me a sinner^ md wash
my soul I
April 9. ^^ Remained much in the same state as yesterday ,
excepting that the sense of my vileness was not so quick and
acute.
Lord*8 day^ April 10. ^^ Rose early in the moniiiig, and
walked out and spent a considerable time in the woods, in
prayer and meditation. Preached to the Indians, both fore-
noon and afternoon. They behaved soberly ingen^nd: two
or three in particular appeared under some religious concern ;
with whom I discoursed privately ; and one told roe, ^^ that
her heart had cried, ever since she had heard me preach first''
The next day^ he complains of much desertion.
April 12. " Was greatly oppressed with grief and shame,
reflecting on my past conduct, my bitterness and party zetd.
I was ashamed, to think that such a wretch as 1 had ever
preached. Longed to be excused fi-om that work. And when
my soul was not in anguish and keen distress, ^^ I felt senseless
as a beast before God,'' and felt a kind of guilty amusem^it
with the least trifles ; which still maintained a kind of stifled
horror of conscience, so that I could not rest any more than a
condemned malefactor.
April 13. " My heart was overwhelmed within me : I verily
thought that I was the meanest, vilest, most helpless, guilty,
ignorant, benighted creature living. And yet I knew what
God had done for my soul, at the same time : thou^ some-
times I was assaulted with damping doubts and fears, whether
it was possible for such a wretch as I to be in a state of grace.
April 14. " Remained njiuch in the same state as yester-
day.
April 15. " In the forenoon, very disconsolate. In the af-
ternoon, preached to my people, and was a little encouraged
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 08
in some hopes that God misht bestow mercy on their souls.
Felt somewhat resigned to God under all dispensations of his
providence.
April 16. Still in the depths of distress. In the afternoon,
preached to my people ; but was more discouraged with them
than before; feared that nothing would ever be done for them
to any happy effect. I retired, and poured out my soul to God
for mercy ; but without any sensible relief. Soon after came
an Irishman and a Dutchman, with a design, as they said to
hear me preach the next day ; but none can tell how I felt, to
hear their profane talk. O I longed that some dear Christian
knew my distress. I got into a kind of hovel, and there groan-
ed ouj my complaint to God ; and withal felt more sensible
gratitude and thankfulness to God, that he had made me to
oifi!^ from these men, as I knew thrpu^ grace he had.
Lord*s day J April 17. ^^ In the morning, was again distress'
ed as soon as I awaked, hearing much tdk sJbout the world,
and the thin^ of it I perceived that the men were in som^
measure afraid of me ; and 1 discoursed about sanctifying the
Sabbath, if possible to solemnize their minds; but when they
were at a little distance, they again talked freely about secular
affairs. O I thought what a hdl it would be, to live with such
men to eternity ! The Lord gave me some assistance in preach-
ingy all day, and some resignation, and a small degree of com-
fyit in prayer, at night.^'
He continued in this disconsolate frame'^the next day.
April 19. ^^ In the morning, I enjoyed some sweet repose
and rest in God ; felt some strength and confidence in him ;
and my soul was in some measure refreshed and comforted.
Spent most of the day in writing, and had some exercise of
grace, sensible and comfortable. My soul seemed lifted above
the deq^ uHxters, wherein it has been so long almost drowned ;
felt some q>iritual longings.and breathings of soul after God ;
and found myself engaged for the advancement of Christ\i
kingdom in my own soul.
April ^. ^ Set apart this day for fasting and prayer, to bow
my sool before God for the bestowment of divine grace ; espe-
cialfy that all my spiritual afflictions, and inward distresses,
mig^t be sanctified to my soul. And endeavoured also to re-
m^nber the goodness of God to me the year past, this day be-
ing my birth day. Having obtained help of God, I have
hitherto lived, and am now arrived at the age of twenty-five
y^tfs. My soul was pained to think of my barrenness and
deadness ; that I have lived so little to the glory of the eternal
God. I spent the day in the woods alone, and there ponred
d4 • MEMOIRS OF BIIAINERD.
out my complaint to God. Oh that God would enable me to
live to his glory for the future !
April 21. " Spent the forenoon in reading and prayer, and
found myself engaged ; but still much depressed in spirit under
a sense of my viTeness, and unfitness for any public service. In
the afternoon, I visited my people, and prayed and conversed
with some about their souls^ concerns : and afterwards found
some ardour of soul in secret prayer. Oh that I might grow
up into the likeness of God!
April 22. ^^ Spent the day in study, reading, and prayer ;
and felt- a little relieved of my burden, that has been so heavy
of late. But still was in some measure oppressed ; and had a
sense of barrenness. O my leanness testifies against me I my
very soul abhors itself for its unlikeness to God, its inactivity
ana sluggishness. When I have done all, alas, what an un-
profitable servant am I ! My soul groans to see the hours of the
day roll away, because I do not fill them in spirituality and
heavenly-mindedness. And yet I long that they should speed
their pace, to hasten me to my eternal home, where I may
fiirup all my moments, through eternity, for God and his
glory."
' On Saturday and Lord'^s day^ his melancholy again preyail-
ed ; he complained of his ignorance, stupidity, and senseless-
ness ; while yet he seems to have spent the time with the ut-
most diligence, in study, in prayer, in instructing and counsel-
ing the Indians. On Monday^ he sunk into the deepest
melancholy ; so that he supposed he never spent a day in such
distress in his life ; not in fears of hell, (which, he says, he had
no pressing fear of) but a distressing sense of his own vileness,
&c. On Tuesday, he expresses some relief. Wednesday^ he
kept as a day of fasting and prayer, but in great distress. The
three days next following^ his melancholy continued, but in a
less degree, and with intervals of comfort. On the last of
these days, he wrote the following letter to his brother John,
then a student at Yale College, New-Haven.
Kaunaumeek, April 30, 1743.
DEAR BROTHER,
I should tell you, " I long to see you," but my own expe-
rience has taught me, that there is no happiness, and plenary
satisfaction to be enjoyed in earthly friends, though ever so
near and dear, or in any other enjoyment, that is not God him-
self. Therefore, if the God of all grace be pleased gracious-
ly to afford us each his presence and grace, that we may per-
form the work, and endure the trials he calls us to, in a most
distressing tiresome wilderness, till we arrive at our journey's
end ; the local distance, at which we are held from each other.
MEMOIRS OF BRAIKERD. 93
at present is a matter of no great moment or importance to
either of us. But alas ! the presence of God is what I want.
I live in the most lonely melancholy desert^ about eighteen
miles from Albany ; for it was not thought best that I should
go to Delaware River, as I believe I hinted to you in a letter
from New- York. I board with a poor Scotchman : his wife
can talk scarce any English, My diet consists mostly of hasty-
pudding, boiled corn, and bread baked in the ashes, and some«
times a little meat and butter. My lodging is a little heap of
straw, laid upon some boards, a little way from the sround ;
for it is a log room, without any floor, that I lodge in. My
work is exceedingly hard and difficult: I travel on foot a mile
and a half, the worst of ways, almost daily, and back again ;
for I live so far from my Indians. I have not seen an English
person this month. These, and many other circumstances,
equally uncomfortable, attend me ; and yet my spiritual con-
fitds and distresses J so far exceed all these,' that I scarce think
of them, or hardly observe that I am not entertained in the
most sumptuous manner. The Lord grant that I may learn
to '^ endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ !'' As
to my success here, I cannot say much as yet. The Indians
seem generally kind, and well disposed towards me, are most-
ly very attentive to my instructions, and seem willing to be
taught further. Two or three, I hope, are under some canvic-
tians ; but there seems to be little of the special workings of
the divine Spirit among them yet ; which gives me many a
heart-sinking hour. Sometimes I hope that God has abun-
dant blessings in store for them and me ; but at other times I
am so overwhelmed with distress, that I cannot see how his
dealings with me are consistent with covenant love and faith-
fiilness : and I say, ^^ Surely his tender mercies are clean gone
for ever.'^ But however, I see that I needed all this chastisement
already : " It is good for me," that I have endured these trials,
and have hitherto little or no apparent success. Do not be dis-
couraged by my distresses. I was under great distress, at Mr.
JPomroy's, when I saw you last ; but " God has been with me of
a truth," since that : he helped me sometimes sweetly at Long-
Island, and elsewhere. But let us always remember, that we
must through much tribulation^ enter into God^s eternal king-
dom of rest and peace. The righteous are scarcely saved : it
is an infinite wonder that we have well grounded hopes of
being saved at all. For my part, I feel the most vile of any
creature Uving; and I am sure sometimes, there is not such
another existing on this side hell. Now all you can do for me,
is, to pray incessantly, that God would make me humble, holy,
resigned, and heavenly minded, by all my trials, ^^ Be«strong
in we Lord, and in the power of his might" Let us rti??,
wrestle^ anA fight ^ that we may win theprt^e, and obtain that
96 MKMOIRS or BBAINKED.
complete happiness, to be ^^ holy, as God is holy.^^ So wishing
and praying tnat you may advance in learning and g^&ce, am.
be fit for special service for God, I remain your affectionate
brother,
DAVID BRAINERD.
hordes day^ May 1. ^^ Was at Stockbrid^ to-day. In the
forenoon, had some relief and assistance ; though not sonaiich
as usual. In the afternoon, felt poorly in body and soul ; whUe
I was preaching, seemed to be rehearsing idle talat, without
the least hfe, fervour, sense, or comfort ; and especially after-
wards at the sacrament, my soul was filled with confiision, and
the utmost anguish that ever I endured, under the ieeXmf of
my inexpressible vileness and meanness. It was a most bitter
and distressing season to me, by reason of the view I had of
my own heart, and the secret abominations that lurk there : I
thought that the eyes of all in the house were upon me, and I
dared not look any one in the face ; for it verily seemed as if
they saw the vileness of my heart, and all the sins I had ever
been guilty of. And if I had been banished firom the ju'eaence
of all mankind, never to be seen any more, or so much as
thought of, still I should have been distressed with shame ; and
I should have been ashamed to see the most barbarous prople
on earth, because I was viler, and seemingly more brutistily
ignorant than they. ^^I am made to possess the sins of my
vouth."
V
The remaining days of this week were spent, for the most
part, in inward distress and gloominess. The next Sabbaihy
he had encouragement, assistance, and comfort ; but on 3foft-
day sunk again.
May 10. " Was in the same state, as to my mind, that I
have been in for some time; extremely oppressed with a sense
of guilt, pollution, and blindness : ^^ The iniquity of my heels
hath compassed me about : the sins of my youth have l>een set
in order before me ; they have gone over my head, as a heavy
burden, too heavy for me to bear." Almost all the acti<Hi8 of
my life past, seem to be covered over with sin and guilt ; and
those of them that I performed in the most conscientious man-
ner, now fill me with shame and confusion, that I cannot hold
up my face. O, the pride^ selfishness^ hypocrisy^ ignorance^
bitterness^ party zeal and the want of love^ candour^ meekness,
and gentleness^ that have attended my attempts topromote re-
ligion and virtue ; and this when I have reason to hope I had
real assistance fi'om above, and some sweet intercourse from
heaven ! But alas, what corrupt mixtures attended my best du-
ties !"
HEMOIRS OF BRAINERP. 97
The next seven dayz^ his gloom and distress continued for
the most part, but he had some turns of relief and spiritual
comfort He gives an account of his spending part of tlus time
in hard labour, to build himself a little cottage to live in
amon^t die Indians, in which he might be by himself; ha-
ving, It seems, hitherto lived with a poor Scotchman, as he ob-
serves in the letter just now given ; and afterwards, before
his own house was habitable, he liv^d in a wigwam among the
Indians.^'
M^oy 18. ** My circumstances are such, that I have no com-
fort of any kind, but what I have in God. I live in the most
lonesome wilderness ; have but one single person to converse
with that can speak English.^ Most of the talk I hear, is either
Hi^land Scotch, or Indian. I have no feliow-christian to
whom I may unbosom myself, or lay open my spiritual sorrows ;
with whom I may take sweet counsel in conversation about
heavenly things, and join in social prayer. I live poorly vvith
regard to the comforts of life : most of my diet consists of
boiled com, hasty-pudding, &c. I lodge on a bundle of straw,
my labour is hard and extremely difficult, and I have little ap-
pearance of success, to comfort me. The Indians have no land
to live on, but what the Dutch people lay claim to ; and these
threaten to drive them off. They have no regard to the souls
ci the poor Indians ; and by what I can learn, they hate me
because I come to preach to them. But that which makes all
my difficulties grievous to be borne, is, that God hides his face
from fne.
May 19. ^^ Spent most of this day in close study : but was
sometimes so distressed that I could think of notnins but my
spiritual blindness, ignorance, pride, and misery. O I have rea-
son to make that prayer, " Lord, forgive my sins of youth, and
former trespasses.'^
May 30. " Was much perplexed some part of the day : but
towards night, h^d some comfortable meditations on Is. xl. 1.
Comfort ye. Comfort ye, ^c. and dnjoyed some sweetness in
prayer. Afterwards, my soul rose so far above the deep waters,
that I dared to rejoice in God. I saw that there was sufficient
matter of consolation in the blessed God.'^
The next nine days, his burdens were for the most part alle-
viated, but with variety ; at some times, having considerable
This person was Braiverd's interpreter, an ingenious young Indian, bfr>
loDftiiig to Stockbridge, whose name was John Wautoaumpequunnauni. He
had bMD instnicted in the Christian religion, by Mr. Sergeant ; bad lived with
the RflT. Mr. Williams, of Long-Meadow ; bad been farther instructed bybim
at the eliai|;8 of Mr. HoUis of London ; and understood both English and In-
di»iTery well, and wrote a good hand.
Vot. X. 13
98 MEMOlRb OF BRA1K£RD.
consolation ; and at others, being more depressed. The qext
day, Monday^ May 30, he set out on a journey to New Jersey,
to consult the commissioners who employed him about the n-
fairs of his mission.* He performed his journey thither mfour
days, ; and arrived at Mr. Burr's in Newark on Thursday* In
great part of his journey, he was in the depths of melsmcholy,
under distresses hke those ahready mentioned. On Fridoij/^ he
rode to Elizabeth town : and on Saturday to New York ; and
from thence on his way homewards as rar as White Plains.
There he spent the Sabbath^ and had considerable degrees of
divine consolation and assistance in public services. On ilfoit-
day, he rode about sixty miles to New Haven. There he bJ^
tempted a reconciliation with the Faculty of the college ; aiul
spent this week in visiting his friends in those parts, and in Bis
g' »urney homewards, till Saturday j in a pretty comfortable
ame of mind. On Saturday, in his way from Stockbridge to
Kaunaumeek, he was lost in the woods, and lay all night.in the
open air ; but happily found his way in the morning, and ca^le
to bis Indians on Lord^s day, June 12, and had greater assis-
tance in. preaching among tnem than ever before, since his first
coming among them.
iProm this time forward he was the subject of various Q*ames
and exercises of mind : in the general, much after the same
ms^iner as hitherto, from his first coming to Kaunaumeek tiU
he got into his own house, (a Uttle hut, which he made chie%
with his own hands, by long and hard labour,) which was near
seven weeks from this time. The great part of this time, he
was dejected, and depressed with melancholy ; sometimes ex-
tremely ; his melancholy operating in like manner, as related
in times past. How it was with him in those dark seasons, he
himself further describes in his diary for July 2, in the follow-
ing manner. " My soul is, and has for a long time beea in a
piteous condition, wading through a series of sorrows, of va*
rious kinds. I have been so crushed down sometimes with a
sense of my meanness and infinite unworthiness, that I have
been ashamed that any, even the meanest of my fellow-crea-
tures, should so much as spend a thought about me ; and have
wished sometimes, while travelling among the thick brakes, to
drop, as one of them, into everlasting oblivion. In this ease,
sometimes I have almost resolved never again to see any of
my acquaintance : and really thought, I could not do it and
hold up my face ; and have longed for the remotest region, for
a retreat from all my friends, that I might not be seen or heard
of any more. Sometimes the consideration of my ignorance
has been a means of my great distress and anxiety. And es-
* His business with the commissioners now was, to obtain orders for them to
set np^ school among the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and that his interpreter
might be appointed the schoolmaster, which was accordingly done.
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 99
pecialiy my soul has been in anguish with fear, shame, and
§iiilt, that ever I had preached, or had any thought that way. —
ometimes my soul has been in distress on feeling some parti-
cular corruptions rise and swell like a mighty torrent, with
present violence ! having, at the same time, ten thousand for-
mer sins and follies presented to view, in all their blackness and
ag^vations. — And these, while destitute of most of the con-
veniences of life, and I may say, of all the pleasures of it;
without a friend to communicate any of my sorrows to, and
sometimes without any place of retirement, where 1 may un-
burden my soul before God, which has greatly contributed to
my distress.— -Of late, more especially, my great difficulty has
been a sort of carelessness, a kind of regardless temper of
mind, whence I have been disposed to indolence and trifling :
and tfiis temper of mind has constantly been attended with
guilt and shame ; so that sometimes I have been in a kind of
horror, to find myself so unlike the blessed God. I have
thought I grew worse under all my trials ; and nothing has cut
and wounded my soul more than this. O, if I am one of
God^s chosen, as I trust through infinite grace I am, I find of
a truth, that the righteous are scarcely saved.'*'*
It is apparent, that one main occasion of that distressing
floominess of mind which he was so much exercised with at
[aunaumeek, was reflection on his past errors and misguided
zeal at coUege^ in the beginning of the late religious commo-
tioiifl. And therefore he repeated his endeavours this year for
reconciliation with the governors of the college, whom he had
at that time offended. Although he had been at New Haven,
in June, this year, and attempted a reconciliation, as mentioned
already ; yet, in the beginning of July, he made another jour-
ney thither, and renewed his attempt, but still in vain.
Although he was much dejected, most of the time of which
I am now speaking; yet he had mamr intermissions of his
melandioly, and some seasons of comfort, sweet tranquillity
and resignation of mind, and fi'equent special assistance in
public services, as appear in his diary. The manner of his re-
lief from his sorrow, once in particular, is worthy to be men-
tiened in his own words. ^^ July 25. Had little or no resohi-
ti<m for a life of holiness; was ready almost to renounce mv
hopes of living to God. And O how dark it looked, to think
ef eong unholy for ever ! This I could not endure. The cry
of tsy soul was, Psal. Ixv. 3. Iniquities prevail against me.
But 1 was in some measure relieved by a comfortable medita-
tion on God's eternity, that he never had a beginning. Whence
I was led to admire his greatness and power, in such a man-
ner, that I stood still, and praised the Lord for his own glories
and perfections : though I was (and if I should for ever be) an
100 XfiMOlRS or BRAINfilU>.
unholy creature, my soul was comforted to apprehend an. eter-
nal, infinite, powerful, holy God.''
July 30. " Just at night, moved into my own hause^ and
lodged there that night ; found it much better spending the time
alone than in the wigwam where I was before.
Lord's day^ July 31. " Felt more comfortably than some
' days past — Blessed be the Lord, who has now ^ven me a
Elace of retirement. — Oh that I may find God in it, and that
e would dwell with me for ever !
Aug. 1. "Was still busy in further labours on my house-
Felt a little of the sweetness of religicm, and thought that it
was worth while to fellow after God through a thousand
snares, deserts, and death itself. Oh that I might always/bZ-
low after holiness^ that I may be fully conformed to God !
Had some degree of sweetness in secret prayer, though I had
much sorrow.
Aug. 2. " Was still labouring to make myself more com*
fortable, with regard to my house and lodging. Laboured
under spiritual anxiety : It seemed to me that I Served to be
thrust out of the world ; yet found some comfort in committing
my cause to God. It is good for me to be afflicted^ that I may
die wholly to this world, and all that is in it.
Aug. 3. " Spent most of the day in writing. Enjoyed some
sense of religion. Through divine goodness I am now unin-
terruptedly alone ; and find my retirement comfortable. I have
enjoyed more sense of divine things within a few days last
past, than for some time before. I longed after holiness,, hd-
mility, and meekness : Oh that God would enable me to " pass
the time of my sojourning here in his fear," and always live to
him !
Aug. 4. " Was enabled to pray much, through the whole
day ; and through divine goodness found some intenseness of
soul in the duty, as I used to do, and some ability to persevere
in my supplications. I had some apprehensions of divine
things, which afforded me courage and resolution. It is good^
I find, to persevere in attempts to pray, if I cannot pray with
perseverance^ i. e. continue long in my addresses to the divine
Being. I have generally found, that the more I do in secret
prayer, the more I have delighted to do^ and have enjoyed more
of a spirit of prayer : and frequently have found the contrary,
when with journeying or otherwise I have been much deprived
of retirement. A seasonable, steady performance of secret
DUTIES IN THEIR PROPER HOURS, Rud a CAREFUL IMPROVEMENT
OP ALL TIME, filling up cvcry hour with some profitable labour,
either of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means of spiritual
peace and boldness before God. — Christy indeed, is ourpeace^
and by him we have boldness of access to God ; but a good con*
MEMOIRS OF BRAINKKP. 101
Science^ void of offence^ is an excellent preparation for an ap-
proach into the divine presence. There is a difference between
self-confidence or a self-righteous pleasing of ourselves — as
with our own duties, attainments, and spiritual enjoyments — of
which good men are sometimes guilty, and that holy confidence
arising from the testimony of a good conscience, which good
UezeSah had, when he says, " Remember, O Lord, 1 beseech
thee, how I have walked before thee in truth, and with a per-
fect hesurt/^ Then^ says the holy psalmist, shall I not be asham'
ed when I have respect to all thy commandments. Filling up
our time with and for God, is the way to rise up and lie down
in peace."
The next eight days^ he continued for the most part in a
very comfortable frame, having his mind fixed and sweetly en-
gaged in religion ; and more than once blesses God, that he
had given him a little cottage^ where he might live alone, and
enjoy a happy retirement, free from noise and disturbance, and
could at any hour of the day lay aside all studies, and spend
time in lifting up his soul to God for spiritual blessings.
Aug. 13. " Was enabled in secret prayer to raise my soul to
God, with desire and delight It was indeed a blessed season.
I found the comfort of being a christian ; and counted the suf-
ferings of the present life not worthy to be compared with the
glory of divine enjoyments even in this world. All my past
sorrows seemed kmdly to disappear, and I " remembered no
more the sorrow, for joy.''-T-0, how kindly, and with what a
filial tenderness, the soul confides in the Rock of Ages^ at
such a season, that he will " never leave it, nor forsake it,"''
that he will cause " all things to work together for its good !'*
I longed, that others should know how good a God the Lord is.
My soul was full of tenderness and love, even to the most in^
veterate of my enemies. I earnestly desired that they should
share in the same mercy ; and loved that God should do just
as he pleased with me and every thing else. I felt peculiarly
serious, calm, and peaceful, and encouraged to press after ho*
lihess as long as I live, whatever difficulties and trials may be
in my way. May the Lord always help me so to do ! Amen,
and Amen.
Lord^s day^ Aug. 14. " I had much more freedom in public,
than in private. God enabled me to speak with some feeling
sense of divine things ; but perceived no considerable effect.
Aug. 15. " Spent most of the day in labour, to procure
something to keep my horse on in the winter. Enjoyed not
omch sweetness in the morning; was very weak in body
through the day ; and thought that this frail body would soon
drop into the dust ; and had some very realizing apprehensions
lOsi MEMOIRS or BRAINSKD.
of a speedy entrance into another world. In this weak state of
body, I was not a little distressed for want of suitable food. I
had no bread, nor could I get any. I am forced to go or send
ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; and sometimes it ifl
mouldy and sour before I eat it, if I get any considerable quan-
tity. And then again I have none for some days together, for
want of an opportunity to send for it, and cannot find my horse
in the woods to go myself; and this was my case now; but
through divine goodness I had some Indian meoZ, of which I
made little cakes, and fried them. Yet I felt contented with
my circumstances, and sweetly resigned to God. In prayer I
enjoyed great freedom ; and blessed God as much for my |Mrc-
sent circumstances, as if I had been a king ; and thought that
I found a disposition to be contented in any circumstances.
Blessed he God.^"*
The rest of this week^ he was exceedingly weak in bcMly, and
much exercised with pain ; yet obliged from day to day to la*
hour hard, to procure fodder for his horse. Except some part
of the time, he was so very ill, that he was neither able to woriL
nor study ; but speaks of longings after holiness and perfect
confwmity to God. He complains of enjoying but little of
God : yet he says, that little was better to him, than all the
world besides. In his diary for Saturday^ he says, be was
somewhat melancholy and sorrowful in mind ; and adds, ^ I
never feel comfortably, but when 1 find my soul going f<Mrth
after God. If 1 cannot be holy I must necessarily be raisera^*
ble for ever.''
■ Lord^s day^ Aug. 21. " Was much straitened in the fore-
noon exercise ; my thoughts seemed to be all scattered to the
ends of the earth. At noon, I fell down before the Lord,
groaned under my vileness, barrenness, and deadness ; and felt
as if I was guilty of soul-murder, in speaking to immortal
souls in such a manner as I had then done. In the afternoon,
God was pleased to give me some assistance, and I was ena-
bled to set before my hearers the nature and necessity of true
repentance. Afterwards, had some small degree of thankful-
ness. Was very ill and full of pain in the evening ; and my
soul mourned that I had spent so much time to so little
profit.
Aug. 22. ^^ Spent most of the day in study ; and found my
bodily strength in a measure restored. Had some intense and
passionate breathings of soul after holiness, and very clear
manifestations of my utter inability to procure, or work it in
myself; it is wholly owing to the power of God. O, with
what tenderness the love and desire of holiness fills the soul !
I wanted to wing out of myself to God, or rather to get a con-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 103
fonnity to him : but, alas ! I cannot add to my stature in grace
one cubit However, my soul can never leave striving for it ;
or at least groaning, that it cannot strive for it, and bbtam more
purity of heart. — At night, I spent some time in instructing my
poor people. Oh that God would pity their souls !
Aug. 23. " Studied in the forenoon, and enjoyed some free-
dom. In the afternoon, laboured abroad: endeavoured to
way : but found not much sweetness or intenseness of mind.
Towards night, was very weary, and tu-ed of this world of sor-
row : the thoughts of death and inunortality appeared very de-
sirable, and even refreshed my soul. Those lines turned in my
mind with pleasure,
^^ Come death, shake hands; I'U kiss thy bands;
^^ *Tis happiness for me to die. —
•* What !— dost thou think, that I wiU shrink?
" ril go to immortality.'?
*■* In evening prayer, God was pleased to draw near my soul,
though very sinful and unworthy ; so that I was enabled to
wrestle with God, and to persevere in my requests for grace. I
poured out my soul for all the world, friends and enemies. My
soul was concerned, not so much for souls as such, but rather
for Christ^s kingdom, that it might appear in the world, that
Grod might be known to be God, in the whole earth. And O
my soul abhorred the very thought of a party in religion ! Let
the truth of God appear, wherever it is ; and God have the
flory for ever. Amen. This was indeed a comfortable season,
thought I had some small taste of, and real relish for the en-
joyments and employments of the upper world. Oh that my
scoil was more attempered to it !
Aug. 24. ^^ Spent some time, in the morning, in study and
prayer. Afterwards, was engaged in some necessary business
abroad. Towards night, found a little time for some particular
studies. I thought, tf God should say, ^^ Cease making any
provision for this life, for you shall in a few days go out of time
mto eternity," my soul would leap for joy. Oh that I may both
" desire to.be dissolved, to be with Christ," and likewise " wait
patiently all the days of my appointed time till my change
come !" But, alas ! I am very unfit for the business and bless-
edness of heaven. Oh for more holiness f
Aug. 25. " Part of the day, was engaged in studies ; and
part in labour abroad. I find it is impossible to enjoy peace
and tranquillity of mind, without a careful improvement of
tioie. This is really an imitation of God and Christ Jesus :
** My Fati^er worketh hitherto, and I work," says our Lord.
But Btill, if we would be like God, we must see that we fill up
our time for him. I daily long to dwell in perfect light and
love. In the mean time, my soul mourns that I make so little
104 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
frogress in grace, and preparation for the world of blessedness ;
see and know that I am a very barren tree in God's vineyard,
and that he might justly say, " Cut it down," &c. Oh that God
would make me more lively and vigorous in grace, for his own
glory! Amen."
The two next days^ he was much engaged in the necessaiy
labours, in which he extremely spent himself. He seems these
days to have had a great sense of the vanity of the world ; con-
tinued longings after holiness, and more fervency of spirit in
the service of God.
hordes day, Aug, 28. " Was much perplexed with some irre-
liffious Dutchmen. All their discourse turned upon the things
of the world ; which was no small exercise to my mind. O
what a hell it would be to spend an eternity with such men !
Well might David say, ^^ I beheld the transgressors, and was
grieved." But adored be God, heaven is a place into which no
unclean thing enters. O I long for the holiness of that world !
Lord prepare me for t>."
The next day he set out on a journey to New York. Was
somewhat dejected the two first days of his joumev ; but yet
seems to have enjoyed some degrees of the sensible presence
of God.
Aug. 31. ^^ Rode down to Bethlehem ; was in a sweet, se*
rious, and, I hope, christian frame, when I came there. Eternal
things engrossed all my thoughts ; and I longed to be in the
world of spirits. O how happy is it, to have all our thoughts
swallowed up in that world : to feel one's self a serious, consi-
derate stranger in this world, diligently seeking a road through
it, the best, the sure road to the heavenly Jerusalem !
Sept. 1. " Rode to Danbury. Was more dull and dejected
in spirit, than yesterday. Indeed, I always feel comfortably,
when God realizes death, and the things of another world, to
my mind. Whenever my mind is taken off from the things of
this world, and set on God, my soul is then at re«f."
He went forward on his journey, and came to New York on
the next Monday. And, after tarrying there two or three days^
he set out from that city towards New Haven, intending to be
there at the commencement ; and, on Friday^ came to Horse-
neck. In the mean time, he complains much of dulness, and
want of fervour in religion ; but yet, from time to time, speaks
of his enjoying spiritual warmth and sweetness in conversation
with Christian friends, and assistance in public service?.
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. ' 105
S^t 10. " Rode six miles to Stanwich, and preached to a
considerable assembly of people. Had some assistance and
freedom, especially towards the close. Endeavoured much af-
terwards, in private conversation, to establish holiness, humility,
meekness, &c. as the essence of true religion ; and to moderate
some noisy sort of persons, who appearecfto me to be actuated
by unseen spiritual pride. Alas, into what extremes men incline
to run ! — Returned to Horseneck ; and felt some seriousness and
sweet solemnity in the evening.
Lord*8 datK Sept. 11. " In the afternoon, I preached from
Tit. iii. 8. This is a faithful sayings and these things^ ^c. 1
think God never helped me more in painting true religion, and
in detecting clearly, and tenderly discountenancing false ap-
pearances of religion, wild-fire, party-zeal, spiritual pride, &c.
as well as a confident dogmatical spirit, and its spring, viz. igno-
ranee of the heart. In the evening, took much pains in private
conversation to suppress some confusions, which I perceived
were among that people.
Sept, 12. " Rode to Mr. Mills' at Ripton. Had some per-
plexing hours ; but was some part of the day very comfortable.
It is ** through great trials," I see, " that we must ^nter the gates
of paradise.^' If my soul could but be holy, that God might
not be dishonoured, methinks I could bear sorrows.
SepU 13. " Rode to New Haven. Was sometimes dejected ;
not in the sweetest frame. Lodged at ****. Had some profita-
ble christian conversation. I find, though my inward trials were
great, and a life of solitude gives them greater advantage to
settle, and penetrate to the very inmost recesses of the soul ; yet
it is better to be alone, than incumbered with noise and tumult.
I find it very diflScult maintaining any sense of divine things,
while removing from place to place, diverted with new objects,
and filled with care and business. A settled, steady busmess,
is best adapted to a life of strict religion.
Sqot. 14. « This day I ought to have taken my degree ;*
but God sees fit to deny it me. And though I was greatly
afiraid of being overwhelmed with perplexity and confusion,
when I should see my class-mates take theirs ; yet, at the very
time, God enabled me with calmness and resignation to say,
" the will of the Lord be done." Indeed, through divine good-
ness, I have scarcely felt my mind so cahn, sedate, and coni-
fcHTtable, for. some time. I have long feared this season, and
expected my humility, meekness, patience, and resignation,
would be much tried ;t but found much more pleasure and di-
* This being commencement'duj,
t His trial was the greater, ia that, had it not been for the displeasure of Oic
gorernors of the college, he would not only on that day have shared wiUi his
claas-mates in the public honours which they then received, but would, on Wat
Vol. 10. 14
106 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.
vine comfort, than 1 expected. Felt spiritually serious, tender
and affectionate in private prayer with a dear christian firiend
ta<lay.
Sept. 15. " Had some satisfaction in hearing the ministers
discourse. It is always a comfort to me, to hear religious and
spiritual conversation. Oh that ministers and people were more
spiritual and devoted to God ! — Towards night, with the advice
of christian friends, I offered the following reflections in wri-
ting, to the rector and trustees of the college — which are, for
substance, the same that I had freely offercHi to the rector be-
fore, and intreated him to accept — that, if possible, I might cut
off all occasion of offence, from those who seek occasion.
What I offered, is as follows :
^^ Whereas I have said before several persons, concerning Mr.
Whittelsey, one of the tutors of Yale College, that I did not
believe he had any more grace than the chair I then leaned
upon ; I humbly confess, that herein I have sinned against God,
and acted contrary to the rules of his word, and have injured
Mr. Whittelsey. I had no right to make thus free with his cha-
racter ; and had no just reason to say as I did concerning him.
jMy fault herein was the more aggravated, in that I said this
concerning one who was so much my superior, and one whom
I was obliged to treat with special respect and honour, by rea-
son of the relation I stood in to him in the college. Such a
manner of behaviour, I confess, did not become a christian ; it
was taking too much upon me, and did not savour of that hum-
ble respect, which I ought to have expressed towards Mr. Whit-
telsey. I have long since been convinced of the falseness of
those apprehensions, by which I then justified such a conduct.
I have often reflected on this act with grief; I hope on account
of the sin of it : and am willing to lie low, and be abased be-
fore God and man for it. I humbly ?i3k the forgiveness of the
fovernors of the college, and of the whole society ; but of Bfr.
l^hittelsey in particular. And whereas I have been accused
by one person of saying concerning the reverend rector of Yale
College, that I wondered he did not expect to drop down dead
for fining the scholars that followed Mr. Tennent to Milford ;
I seriously profess, that I do not remember my saying any thing
to this purpose. But if I did, which I am not certain I did not,
f utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of behaviour ;
and especially in an under-graduate towards the rector. And
I now appear to judge and condemn myself for going once to
the separate meeting in New Haven, a little before I was ex-
pelled, though the rector had refused to give me leave. For
this, I humbly ask the rector's forgiveness. And whether the
occasion, have appeared at the head of that class ; which, if he had been with
them, would have been the most numerous of any that ever had been graduated-
at thatcoUeg:e.
AEfiMOlRS OF BRAINfiKD. 107
fQvernors of the college shall ever see cause to remove the aca-
emical censure I lie under, or no, or to admit me to the pri-
vileges I desire, yet I am willing to appear, if they think fit,
openly to own," and to humble myself for those things I have
herein confessed."
*^ God has made me willing to do anything that I can do, con-
sistent with truth, for the sake of peace, and that I might not be
a stumbling block to others. For this reason I can cheerfully
forego, and give up what 1 verily believe, after the most mature
and impartial search is my right, in some instances. God has
given me the disposition, that, if a man has done me an hundred
injuries, and I (though ever so much provoked to it) have done
him only one, I feel disposed, and heartily willing humbly to
confess my fault to him, and on my knees to ask forgivenesiS
of him ; though at the same time he should justify himself in
all the injuries he has done me, and should only make use of my
humble confession to blacken my character the more, and repre-
sent me as the only person guilty ; yea, though he should as it
were insult me, and say, ^^ he knew all this before, and that I
was making work for repentance.'' Though what I said con-
cerning Mr. Whittelsey was only spoken in private, to a friend
or two ; and \yeing partly overheard, was related to the rector,
and by him extorted fi-om my friends ; yet, seeing it was di-
vulged and made public, I was willing to confess my fault there-
in publicly. But I trust God will plead my cause."
I was witness to the very christian spirit which Brainerd
ahowed at that time ; being then at New Haven, and one whom
he thought fit to consult on that occasion. This was my first
opportunity of a personal acquaintance with him. There truly
appeared in him a great degree of calmness and humility ;
without the least appearance of rising of spirit for any ill treat-
ment which he supposed he had suffered or the least backward-
ness to abase himself before them, who as he thought, had
wronged him. What he did was without any objection or ap-
pearance of reluctance, even in private to his friends, to whom
he fireely opened himself. Earnest application was made on
his behalf to the authority of the college, that he might have
his degree then given him ; and particularly by the Rev. Mr.
Burr of Newark, one of the correspondents of the honourable
society m Scotland ; he being sent from New Jersey to New
Haven, by the rest of the commissioners, for that end ; and
many arguments were used, but without success. Indeed, the
governors of the college were so far satisfied with the reflec-
tions which Brainerd had made on himself, that they a{)peared
willing to admit him again into college ; but not to give him
his degree, till he should have remained there at least twelve-
months, which being contrary to what the correspondents, to
whom he was now engaged, had declared to be their mind.
t
108 HJtMOliib OF BKAIi\£ai>.
he did not consent to it. He desired his degree, as he
thought it would tend to his being more extensively useful ; but
still when he was denied it, he manifested no disappointnient or
resentment. The next day lie went to Derby ; then to South- .-
bury, where he spent the Sabbath : and speaks of some spiritual -^^
comfort ; but complains much of unfixedness, and wanderings oTlsK^Tf
mind in religion.
SepL 19. " In the afternoon, rode to Bethlehem, and
preached. Had some measure of assistance, both in prayer acnciE=J
preaching. I felt serious, kind and tender towards all mankind^ %
and longed that holiness might flourish more on earth.
SepU 20. " Had thoughts of going forward on my journey i
my Indians ; but towards night was taken with a hard pain in m^
teeth, and shivering cold ; and could not possibly recover a coni<
fortable desree of warmth the whole night following. I conti
nued very mil of pain all night ; and in the morning had a v
hard fever, and pains almost over my whole body, ihad a
of the divine goodness in appointing this to be the place of m;
sickness, among my friends, who were very kind to me. I shouli
I)robably have perished, if I had first got home to my ow:
louse in the wilderness, where I have none to converse wit
but the poor, rude, ignorant Indians. Here, I saw, was merc^^
in the midst of affliction. I continued thus, mostly confined tc:^
my bed, till Friday night ; very full of pain most of the time ^
but through divine goodness, not afraid of death. Then, the
extreme folly of those appeared to me, who put off their turning:
to God till a sick bed. Surely this is not a time proper to pre-
pare for eternity. On Friday evening my pains went ofi* some-
what suddenly. I was exceedingly weak, and almost fainted ;
but was very comfortable the night following. These words,
Psal. cxviii. 17. " I shall not die, but live," &c. I frequently
revolved in niy mind ; and thought we were to prize the con-
tinuation of life, only on this account, that we may " show
forth God's goodness and works of grace,"
From this time he gradually recovered ; and the next Tues-
day was so well as to be able to go forward on his journey
homewards ; but it was not till the Tuesday following, that he
reached Kaunaumeek. He seems great part of this time, to
have had a very deep and lively sense of the vanity and empti-
ness of all things here below, and of the reality, nearness, and
vast importance of eternal things.
Oct. 4. " This day rode home to my own house and people^
The poor Indians appeared very glad of my return. Found
my house and all things in safety. I presently fell on my knees,
and blessed God for my safe return, after a long and tedious
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 109
Journey, and a season of sickness in several places where I had
been, and after I had been ill myself. God has renewed his
kindness to me, in preserving me one journey more. I have
taken many considerable journeys since this time last year, and
yet God has never suffered one of my bones to be broken, or
any distressing calamity to befal me, excepting the ill turn I
had in my last journey. I have been often exposed to cold
and hunger in the wilderness, where the comforts of Hfe were
not to be had ; have frequently been lost in the woods ; and
sometimes obliged to ride much of the night ; and once lay out
in the woods all night ; yet, blessed be God, he has preserved
me!"
In his diary for the next eleven days^ are great complaints of
distance from God, spiritual pride, corruption, and exceeding
vileness. He once says, his heart was so oppressed with a
sense of his pollution, that he could scarcely have the face and
impudence (as it then appeared to him) to desire that God
should not damn him forever. And at another time, he says,
he had so little sense of God, or apprehension and relish of his
glory and excellency, that it made him more disposed to kind-
ness and tenderness towards those who are blind and ignorant
of God and things divine and heavenly.
hordes day^ Oct. 16. " In the evening, God was pleased to
Sive me a feeling sense of my own unworthiness ; but through
ivine goodness such as tended to draw me to, rather than
drive me from, God. It filled me with solemnity.. I retired
alone, (having at this time a friend with me) and poured out
my soul to God with much freedom ; and yet in anguish, to
find myself so unspeakably sinful and unworthy before a holy
God. Was now much resigned under God's dispensations
towards me, though my trials had been very great. But
thought whether I could be resigned, if God should let the
f rench Indians come upon me and deprive me of life, or carry
JTne away captive, (though I knew of no special reason then to
J>ropose this trial to myself, more than any other ;) and my soul
deemed so far to rest and acquiesce in God, that the sting and
"terror of these things, seemed in a great measure gone. Pre-
^tently after I came to the Indians, whom I was teaching to
asing that evening, I received the following letter from Stock-
bridge, by a messenger sent on the Sabbath on purpose, which
:^3iade it appear of greater importance.
' Sir — Just now we received advices from Col. Stoddard,
^hat there is the utmost danger of a rupture with France. He
lias received the same from his Excellency our Governor, or-
dering him to give notice to all the exposed places, that they
may secure themselves the best they can against any sudden
110 MEMOIRS OF BRA1N£EP.
invasion. We thought best to send directly to Kaunaumeekf
that you may take the most prudent measures for your safety,
I am, Sir, &c/'
^' I thought, upon reading the contents, it came in a good sea-
son ; for my heart seemed fixed on God, and therefore I was
not much surprised. This news only made me more serious,
and taught me that 1 must not please myself with any of the
comforts of life which I had been preparing. Blessed be God,
who gave me any intenseness and fervency this eveninff !
OcU 17. " Had some rising hopes, that ' God would arise
and have mercy on Zion speedily.' My heart is indeed re-
freshed, when I have any prevailing hopes of Zion's prosperity.
Oh that I may see the glorious day, when Zion shall becomct
the joy of the whole earth ! Truly there is nothing that I
greatly value in this lower world."
On Tuesday^ he rode to Stockbridge ; complains of being
much diverted, and having but little life. On Wednesday^ he
expresses some solemn sense of divine things, and a longii^ to
be always doing for God with a friendly frame of spirit
Oct. 20. " Had but little sense of divine things this day.
Alas, that so much of my precious time is spent with so little
of God! Those are tedious days wherein I have no spiri-
tuality.
Oct. 21. Returned home to Kaunaumeek : was glad to get
alone in my little cottage, and to cry to that God who seeth in
secret, and is present in a wilderness.
Oct. 22. "Had but little sensible communion with God.
This world is a dark, cloudy mansion. O when will the Sun
of Righteousness shine on my soul without intermission !
Lord'*s day^ Oct. 23. " In the morning, I had a little dawn
of comfort arising from hopes of seeing glorious days in the
Church of God ; and was enabled to pray for such a glorious
day, with some courage and strength of hope. In the fore-
noon, treated on the glories of heaven : In tne afternoon, on
the miseries of hell, and the danger of going there. Had some
freedom and warmth, both parts of the day ; and my people
were very attentive. In the evening, two or three came to me
imder concern for their souls ;to whom I was enabled to dis-
course closely, and with some earnestness and desire. Oh that
God would be merciful to their poor souls /'*
He seems through the whole of this week^ to have been greatly
engaged to fill up every inch of time in the service of Goo,
and to have been most diligently employed in study, prayer,
and instructing the Indians ; and from time to time, expresses
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERP. Ill
longings of soul after God, and the advancement of his king-
dom, and spiritual comfort and refreshment.
Lord^s day^ Oct. 30. " In the morning, I enjoyed some fix-
edness of soul in prayer, which was indeed sweet and desira-
ble; and was enabled to leave myself with God, and to ac(}ui-
esce in him. At noon, my soul was refreshed with readmg
Rev. iii. more especially the 11th and 12th verses. O my soul
longed for that blessed day, when I should ^ dwell in the tem-
ple of God,^ and ^ go no more out^ of his immediate presence !
Oct. 31. ^' Rode to Kinderhook, about fifteen miles fi'om my
residence. While riding, I felt some divine sweetness in the
thoughts of being " a pillar in the temple of God'' in the upper
World, and being no more deprived of his blessed presence, and
the sense of hisfavour, which is better than life. My soul was
so lifted up to God, that I could pour out my desires to him, for
more grace and ftirther degrees of sanctification, with abun«
dant fi'eedom. O I longed to be more abundantly prepared for
that blessedness, with which I was then in some measure re-
freshed ! Returned home in the evening; but took an extremely
bad cold by riding in the night.
Nov. 1. " Was very much disordered in body, and some-
times full of pain in my face and teeth ; was not able to study
much, and had not much spiritual comfort. Alas ! when God
is withdrawn, all is gone. Had some sweet thoughts, which I
could not but write down, on the design^ nature, and end of
Chruftianity.
Nov. 2. " Was still more indisposed in body, and in much,
pain, most of the day. I had not much comfort ; was scarcely
able to study at all ; and still entirely alone in the wilderness.
But blessed be the Lord, I am not exposed in the open air ; I
have a house, and many of the comforts of life, to support me.
I have learned, in a measure, that all good things, relating both
to time and eternity, come from God. In the evening, I had
some degree of quickening in prayer : I think God gave me
some sense of his presence.
Nov. 3. " Spent this day in secret fasting and prayer, from
mornii^ till night. Early in the morning, I had some small de-
cree oi assistance in prayer. Afterwards, read the story of
£lijah the prophet, 1 Kings, xvii. xviii. and xix. chapters, and
also 3 Kings, ii. and iv. chapters. Mv soul was much moved,
observing me faith, zeal, and power of that holy man ; how he
wrestled with God in prayer, &c. My soul then cried with
Elisha, « Where is the Lord God of Elijah !" O I longed for
more faith ! My soul breathed after God, and pleaded with
him, that a *^ double portion of that spirit," which was given to
Elijah, might " rest on me." And that which was divinely re-
freahiog and strengthening to my soul, was. I saw that God is
112 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
the same that he was in the days of Elijah. — Was enabled to
wrestle with God by prayer, in a more affectionate, fervent,
humble, intense, and importunate manner, than I have for many
months past. Nothing seemed too hard for God to perform ;
nothing too great for me to hope for from him. 1 had for many
months entirely lost all hopes of being made instrumental of
doing any special service for God in the world ; it has appear-
ed entirely impossible, that one so vile should be thus employ-
ed for God. But at this time God was pleased to revive this
hope. Afterwards read from the iii. chapter of Exodus to the
XX. and saw more of the glory and majesty of God discovered
in those chapters, than ever 1 had seen before ; frequently in
the mean time falling on my knees, and crying to God for the
faith of Moses, and for a manifestation of the divine glory. -^
Especially the iii. and iv. and part of the xiv. and xv. chapters
were unspeakably sweet to my soul : my soul blessed God, that
he had shown himself so gracious to his servants of old. The
XV. chapter seemed to be the very language which my soul ut-
tered to God in the season of my first spiritual comfort, when I
had just got through the Red Sea^ by away that Ihad no ex-
pectation of. O how my soul then rejoiced in God ! And now
those things came fresh and lively to my mind ; now my soul
blessed God afresh that he had opened that unthought oi way
to deliver me from the fear of the Egyptians, when I almost
despaired of life. — Aflerwards read the story of Abraham^s pil-
grimage in the land of Canaan. My soul was melted, in ob-
serving his faiths how he leaned on God ; how he comwuneA
with God ; and what a stranger he was here in the world.
After that, read the story of Joseph's sufferings, and God's
goodness to him : blessed God for these examples of faith and
patience. My soul was ardent in prayer, was enabled to wres-
tle ardently for myself, for Christian friends, and for the church
of God. And felt more desire to see the power of God in the
conversion of souls, than I have done for a long season.
Blessed be God for this season of fasting and prayer ! — May
his goodness always abide with me, and draw my soul to
him !
Nov. 4. " Rode to Kinderhook : went quite to Hudson's
river, about twenty miles from my house ; performed some bu-
siness ; and returned home in the evening to my own house. I
had rather ride hard, and fatigue myself to get home, than to
spend the evening and night amongst those who have no regard
for God."
The two next days, he was very ill, and full of pain, jmto-
bably through his riding in the night, after a fatiguing day's
tourney on Thursday ; but yet seems to have been diligent in
msiness.
MSMOIBS OF BRAINERD. 113
Nov. 7. This morning the Lord afforded me some special
assistance in prayer ; my mind was solemn, fixed, affectionate,
and ardent in desires after holiness ; felt full of tenderness and
love \ and my affections seemed to be dissolved into kindness.
In the evening, I enjoyed the same comfortable assistance in
prayer, as in the morning : my soul longed after God, and
cried to him with a filial freedom, reverence and bold-
ness. Oh that I might be entirely consecrated and devoted to
God !''
The two next days^ he complains of bodily illness and pain :
but much more of spiritual barrenness and unprofitableness.
Nov. 10. '.' Spent this day in fasting and prayer alone. In
the morning, was very dull and lifeless, melancholy and dis-
couraged. But after some time, while reading 2 Kings, xix.
my. soul was moved and affected ; especially reading verse 14,
and onward. I saw there was no other way for the afflicted
children of God to take, but to go to God with all their sorrows.
Hezekiah^ in his great distress, went and spread his complaint
before the Lord. I was then enabled to see the mighty power
of God, and my extreme need of that power ; and to cry to
him affectionately and ardently for his power and grace to be
exercised towards me. — ^Afterwards, read the story of David's
trials, and observed the course he took under them, how he
strengthened his hands in God; whereby my soul was carried
out alter God, enabled to cry to him, and rely upon him, and
felt strong in the Lord. Was afterwards refreshed, observing
the blessed temper that was wrought in David by his trials : all
bitterness, and desire of revenge, seemed wholly taken away ;
so that he mourned for the death of his enemies ; 2 Sam. i.
17. and iv. 9. ad. Jin. — Was enabled to bless God, that he had
given me something of this divine temper, that my soul freely
forgioes^ and heartily lo^es my enemies.'^''
It appears by his diary for the remaining part of this week^
and for the two following weeks, that great part of the time he
was very ill, and full of pain ; and yet obliged through his cii*-'
cumstances, in this ill state of body, to be at great fatigues in
labour, and travelling day and night, and to expose himself in
stormy and severe seasons. He, from time to time, within this
space, speaks of thirstings of soul after God ; of his heart be-
ing strengthened in God; of seasons of divine sweetness and
comfort ; of his heart being affected with gratitude for mercies,
&c Yet there are many complaints of lifelessness, weakness
of srace, distance from God, and great unprofitableness. But
stUTthere appears a constant care from day to day, not to lose
time, but to improve it all for God.
Vor. X. In
114 M£m01R6 Oy B&A1N£&1>.
Lord's day^ Nov. 37. " In the evening, I was greatly alfect*
cd in reading an account of the very joyfiil death of a pious
gentleman ; which seemed to invigorate my soul in God^s ways.
I felt courageously engaged to pursue a life of holiness and self-
denial as long as I live ; and poured out my soul to Crod for his
help and assistance in order thereto. Eternity then -seemed
nesur, and my soul rejoiced and longed to meet it. I trust that
will be a blessed day which finishes my toil here.
Nov. 28. " In the evening, I was obliged to spend time- in
company and conversation which were unprofitable. No-
thing lies heavier upon me than the misimprovement of time.
Nov. 29. Began to studv the Indian tongue, with Mr. Ser-
geant, at Stockbridge.* Was perplexed for want of more re-
tirement. I love to live alone in my own little cottage, where
I can spend much time in prayer, &c.
Nov. 30. ^^ Pursued my study of Indian : but was very weak
and dis(»'dered in body, and was troubled in mind at the bar-
renness of the day, that I had done so little for God. I had some
enlargement in prayer at night. O a bam, or stable, hedge, or
any other place, is truly desirable, if God is there ! Sometimes^
of late, my hopes of Zion's prosperity, are more raised, than
they were in the summer. My soul seems to confide in God,
that he will yet ^^ shew forth his salvation^^ to his pe<q>Ie, and
make Zion ^' the joy of the whole earth. O how excellent is
the loving-kindness of the Lord. My soul sometimes inwartiy
exults at the lively thoughts of what God has already done for
his church, and what ^^ mine eyes have seen of the salvation of
God.^^ It is sweet, to hear nothing but spiritual discourse firom
God^s children ; and sinners " enquiring the way to Zion," say-
ing, " What shall we do ?" &c. Oh that I may see more of
this blessed work !
Dec. I. "Both morning ajad evening, I enjoyed some in-
tenseness of soul in prayer, and longed for the enlargement of
Christ's kinffdom in the world. My soul seems of late, to went
on God for his blessing on Zion. Oh that religion might pow-
erfully revive !
Dec. 2. " Enjoyed not so much health of body, or fervour of
mind, as yesterday. If the chariot-wheels move with ease and
speed at any time, for a short space, yet, by and by, they drive
heavily again. " Oh that I had the wings ot a dove, that I might
fly away" from sin and corruption, and be at rest with God!
Dec. 3. " Rode home to my house and people. Sufl^fed
^ The commissioners who employed him, had directed him to spend mxuSx
time this winter with Mr. Serg^eant, to learn the language of the Indians \ wtuoh
necessitated him very often to ride, backwards and forwards, twenty ailMy
throngh the uninhabited woods between Stockbridge andKaunaumeek ; whieb
many times exposed him to extreme hardship, in the severe seasons of the
winter.
XLMuIK^ uV BKAIMsIHl). 11
.)
much with extreme cold. — I trust, I shall ere long, arrive safe at
my joumey^s end, where my toils shall cease.
Lord's day^ Dec. 4. '^ Had but little sense of divine and hea-
venly things. My soul mourns over my barrenness. O how sad
is spiritual deadness !
D^. 5. Rode to Stockbridge. Was almost outdone with
the eztr^ne cold. Had some refreshing meditations by the
way ; but was barren, wandering, and lifeless, much of the day.
Thus my days roll away, with but little done for God ; and this
is my burden.
Dec. 6. " Was perplexed to see the vanity and levity of pro-
fessed Christians. Spent the evening with a Clu-istian friend,
who was able, in some measure, to sympathize with me in my
spiritual conflicts. Was a little refreshed to find one with whom
I coijdd converse of inward trials^ cj-c.
Dec. 7. ^^ Spent the evening in perplexity, with a kind of
guilty indolence. When I have no heart or resolution for God,
and the duties incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and
misimprovement of time. Certainly I ought to be engaged in
ixkj w<Mrk and business, to the utmost extent of my strength and
aimity^
Dec. 8. " My mind was much distracted with different ai-
fectiom ; I seemed to be at an amazing distance from God ; and
lodung found in the world, to see if there was not some, hap-
piness to be derived from it. God, and certain objects in the
wotld, seemed eadi to invite my heart and affections ; and my
8ool iseemed to be distracted between them. I have not been
so mudh beset with the world for a lon^ time ; and that with re-
latk>n to some particular objects, to which I thought myself most
dead. But even while I was desiring to please myself with any
thing below, guilt, sorrow, and perplexity, attended the first mo-
tions of desire. Indeed, I cannot see the appearance of plea-
mre and happiness in the world, as I used to do : and blessed
be Crod for any habitual deadness to the world. — I found no
peace, or deliverance, from this distraction and perplexity of
miiid, till I found access to the throne of ^race ; and, as soon
as I had any sense of God, and things divine, the allurements
of Uie world vanished, and my heart was determined for God.
£bt my soul mourned over my folly, that I should desire any
j^ieasure, but only in God. God forgive my spiritucd idolairy /"
The next thirteen days^ he appears to have been continually
Ui 4leep concern about the improvement of precious time ; and
t^ere are many expressions of grief, that he improved time no
^tter ; such as " O what misery do I feel, when my thoughts
^^ve after vanity ! I should be happy if always engaged for
fdod ! O wretched man that I am !" &c Speaks of hi» being
trained with a sense of his barrenness, perplexed with his wan-
11(5 MEMOIRS OF BRA1N£RP.
derings, longing for deliverance from sin, mourning that time
passed away, and so little was done for God, &c. — On TueBdau^
December ^, he speaks of his being visited at Kaunaomeek,
by some under-spintual concern.
Dec. 22. '' Spent this day al<me in fasting and prayer, and
reading in God^s word the exercises and deliverances of his chil*
dren. Had, I trust, some exercise of faith, and realizing appre-
hension of divine power, grace, and holiness ; and, also, of the
unchangeableness of God, that he is the same as when he de*
livered his saints of old out of sreat tribulation. My soul was
sundry times in prayer enlarged for God^s church and pe<q[^
Oh that Zion might become the "joy of the whole earth !'' It
is better to wait upon God with patience, than to put confi-
dence in any thing in this lower world. " My soul, wait thou
on the Lord ;'' for " from him comes thy salvation."
Dec. 23. " Felt a little more courage and resolution in re-
ligion, than 'At some other times.
Dec. 24. " Had some assistance and longing desires after
sanctifieation, in prayer this day ; especially in the evening :
was sensible of my own weakness and spiritual impotency ;
saw plainly, that I should fall into sin, if God of his. abundant
mercy did not " uphold my soul, and withhold me from evil."
Oh that God would uphold me by his free Spirit^ and saoe me
from the hour of temptation.^'^
Lord's day^ JJec. 25. " Prayed much in the morning, with
a feeling sense of my own spiritual weakness and insumciem^
for any duty. God gave me some assistance in preaching to
the Indians ; and especially in the afternoon, when I was ena-
bled to speak with uncommon plainness, freedom, and eamestp
ness. Blessed be God for any assistance granted to one so un-
worthy. Afterwards felt some thankfulness ; but still sensible
of barrenness. — Spent some time in the evening with one or
two persons under spiritual concern, and exhorting others to
their duty, &c.
Dec. 26, " Rode down to Stockbridge. Was very much
fatigued with my journey, wherein I underwent great hard-
ships : was much exposed and very wet by falling into ariver.
Spent the day and evening without much sense of divine and
heavenly things ; but felt guilty, grieved, and perplexed with
wandering, careless thoughts.
Dec. 27. " Had a small degree of warmth in secret prayer,
in the evening ; but, alas ! had but little spiritual life, and con-
sequently but little comfort. Oh, the pressure of a body of
death !
This day he wrote to his brother John, at Yale College, the
following letter.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. " 117
Kaunaumeek^ Dec. 27, 1743.
Dear Brother,
I long to see you, and to know how you fare in your journey
through a world of inexpressible sorrow : where we are com-
passed about with ^^ vanity, confusion, and vexation of spirit.^^
I am more weary of life, I think, than ever I was. The whole
world appears to me like a huge vacuum^ a vast empty space,
whence nothing desirable, or at least satisfactory, can possibly
be derived ; and I long daily to die more and more to it ; even
though I obtain not that comfort from spiritual things which I
earnestly desire. Worldly pleasures, such as flow from great-
ness, riches, honours, and sensual gratifications, are infinitely
worse than none. May the Lord deliver us more and more
from these vanities. I have spent most of the fall and winter
hitherto in a very weak state of body ; and sometimes under
pressiDff inward trials and spiritual conflicts ; but ^^ having ob-
tained help from God, I continue to this day;^^ and am now
somewhat better in health, than I was sometime ago. I find
nothing more conducive to a life of Christianity^ man a dili-
gent, industrious, and faithful improvement of precious time.
Let us then faithfiilly perform that business, which is allotted to
us by divine Providence, to the utmost of our bodily strength,
and mental vigour. Why should we sink, and grow discou-
raffed, with any particular trials and perplexities, which we are
called to encounter in the world ? Death and Eternity are just
before us; a few tossing billows more will waft us into the
world of spirits, and we hope, through infinite grace, into end-
less pleasures, and uninterrupted rest and peace. Let us then
"run, with patience, the race set before us;'' Heb. xii. 1,2.
And, Oh, that we could depend more upon^ the living God^
and less upon our own wisdom and strength ! Dear brother,
may the God of all grace comfort your heart, and succeed
your stc^ies, mid make you an instrument of good to his people
in your day. This is the constant prayer of
" Your affectionate brother,
"David Brainerd."
Dec. 28. " Rode about six miles to the ordination of Mr.
Hopkins. At the solemnity I was somewhat affected with a
sense of the greatness and importance of the work of a minis-
ter of Christ. Afterwards was grieved to see the vanity of the
multitude. In the evening, spent a little time with some Chris-
tian friends, with some degree of satisfaction ; but most of the
time, I had rather have been alone.
Dec. 29. " Spent the day mainly in conversing with friends ;
yet enjoyed little satisfaction, because I could find but few dis-
posed to converse of divine and heavenly things. Alas, what
are the ttuogs of this world, to afford satisfaction to the soul !—
118 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£RD.
Near night, returned to Stockbridge ; in secret, I blessed God
for retirement, and that I am not always exposed to the compa-
ny and conversation of the world. O that I could live ^^ in the
secret of God^s presence !^^
Dec 30. *^ Was in a solemn, devout frame in the evening.
Wonder^ that earth, with all its charms, should ever allure
me in the least degree. Oh, that I could always realize the
being and holiness ^ God !
Dec. 31^ ^^ Rode from Stockbridge home to my house : the
air was clear and calm, but as cold as ever 1 felt it, or nearly.
I was in great danger of perishing by the extremity of the sea-
son. — Was enabled to meditate much on the road*
Lord's day ^ Jan. 1, 1744. ^^ In the morning, had some small
degree of assistance in prayer. Saw myself so vile and an*
worthy, that I could not look my people in the face, when I
came to preach. O my meanness, folly, ignorance, and inward
pollution ! — In the evening, had a little assistance in prayer, ao
th€it the duty was delightful, rather than burdensome. Reflect-
ed on the goodness of God to me in the past year, &C Of a
truth God has been kind and gracious to me, though he hcLs
caused me to pass through many sorrows ; he has provided fbr
me bountifully, so that I have been enablol, in about fifteen
months past, to bestow to charitable uses about an hundred
pounds New England money, that I can now rem^mber.^
olessed be the Lord, that has so far used me as his steward^ to
distribute a portion of his goods^ May I alwinrs remember,
that all I have comes from God. Blessed be the Lord, that has
carried me through all the toils, fatigues, and hardships of the
year past, as well as the spiritual sorrows and conflicts that
have attended it O that I could begin this year with Ood^
and spend the whole of it to his glory ^ either in life or death !.
Jan. 2. " Had some affecting sense of my own impotency
and spiritual weakness. — It is nothing but the power of God
that keeps me from all manner of wickedness. I see / am
nothings and can do nothing without help from above. Oh, for
divine grace ! In the evening had some ardour of soul in prayer,
and longing desires to have God for my guide and safeguard
at all times."
The following letter to his brother Israel, at Haddam, was
written this day.
* Which was, I suppose, to the value of about one hundred and eigktjf^ve
pounds in our bills of the old tenor, as they now pass. — By this, as well as many
other thing^s it is manifest, that his frequent melancholy did not arise from the
consideration of any disadvantage he was laid under to 2;et a living: in the world,
by his expulsion from the collegfc.
2C£lfOIRS or BRAINERD. 119
Kaunaumeek^ Jan. 3, 1743—4.
** VY DEAR BROTHER,
" There is but one thing that deserves our highest care and
most ardent desires ; and that is, that we may answer the great
end for which we were made, vk. to glorify that God, who has
given us our being and all our comforts, and do all the good
we possibly can to our fellow-men^ while we live in the world.
Verily life is not worth the having, if it be not improved for
this noble end and purpose. Yet, alas, how little is this thought
of among mankind ! Most men seem to live to themselves
without much regard to the glory of God, or the good of their
fellow-creatures. They earnestly desire, and eagerly pursue
after the riches, the honours, and the pleasures of life, as if they
really supposed, that wealth or greatness^, or merriment, could
msd^e theur immortal souls happy. But alas ! what false and
delusive dreams are these ! And how miserable will those ere
long be who are not ctwaked out of them, to see that all their
happiness consists in living to Go^, and becoming ^^ holy, as he
is holy r* Oh, may you never fall into" the tempers and vanities,
the Si^isuality and folly of the present world ! You are by di-
vme Providence, left as it were alone in a wide world, to act
for yourself: be sure then to remember, that it is a world of
tea^taiion. You have no earthly parents to be the means of
forming your youth to piety and virtue, by their pious examples,
and seasonable counsels ; let this then excite you with greater
diligence and fervency to look up to the Father of mercies for
grace and assistance against all the vanities of the world. If
you would glorify God, or answer his just expectations from
you, and make your own soul happy in this and the coming
world, observe these few directions ; though not from a father,
yet from a brother who is touched with a tender concern for
your present and future happiness.
** First ; Resolve upon, and daily endeavour to practise a life
of seriousness and strict sobriety. The wise man will tell you
the great advantage of such a life, Eccl. vii. 3. Think of the
life of Christ ; and when you c^n find that he was pleased with
jesting and vain merriment, then you may indulge in it
yourself.
'* Again ; be careful to make a good improvement of pre-
cious time. When you cease from labour, fill up your time in
reading, meditation, and prayer ; and while your hands are
labouring, let your heart be employed, as much as possible, in
divine thoughts.
" Further : Take heed that you faithfully perform the busi-
ness which you have to do in the world, from a regard to the
commands of God ; and not from an ambitious desire of being^
esteemed better than others. We should always look upon
ourselves as God's servants, placed in God's world, to do his
120 MEMOIRS or BRAINSBD.
work; and accordingly labour faithfully for him; not with
design to grow rich and great, but to glorify God, and to do
the good we possibly can.
^^ Again: never expect any satisfaction or happiness from
world. If you hope for happiness in the world hope for it froi li
God, and not from the world. Do not think you shdl be morr^^
happy if you live to such or such a state of life, if you live to l^»«
yourself, to be settled in the world, or if you shall gain an estaC«
in it : but look upon it that you shall then be happy ^ when yov
can be constantly employed for God, and not for yourself; am/
desire to live in this world, only to do and mffer what God al-
lots to you. When you can be of the spirit and temper d*
angels, who are willing to come down into this lower world,
to perform what God commands them, though their desires are
heavenly y and not in the least set on eartluy things, then yoa
will be of that temper which you ought to have, C^. lii. 2.
^' Once more ; never think that you can live to God by yoitr
own power or strength ; but always look to, and rely on mm ht
assistance, yea for all strength and grace. There is no greater
truth than this, that ^ we can do nothing of ourselves ;^ (John xv.
5. and 3 Cor. iii. 5.) yet nothing but our own experience can.ef-
fectually teach it us. Indeed, we are a long time m learning, that
aU our strength and salvation is in God. This is a life much I
think no unconverted man can possibly live ; and yet it is a liiEb.
which ewery godly soul is pressing after, in some good measure^
Let it then be your great concern, thus to devote yourself and
your all to God.
" I long to see you, that I may say much more to you than I
now can, for your benefit and welfare ; but I desire to commit
you to, and leave you with, the Father of mercies^ and God of
all grace; praying that you may be directed safely through an
evil worlds to God's heavenly kingdom.
" I am your affectionate loving brother,
" David Brainerd.^'
Jan. 3, " Was employed mtfch of the day in writing ; and
spent some time in other necessary employment. But my time
passes away so swiftly, that I am astonished when I reflect on
it, and see now little I do. My state of solitude does not make
the hours hang heavy upon my hands. O what reason of thank-^
fulness have I on account of this retirement ! I find, that I do
not, and it seems I cannot lead a Christian life, when I am
abroad, and cannot spend time in devotion. Christian con-
versation, and serious meditation, as I should do. Those weeks
that I am obliged now to be from home, in order to learn the
Indian tongue, are mostly spent in perplexity and barrenness,
without much sweet relish of divine things ; and I feel myself
a stranger at the throne of grace, for want of more frequent and
MEMOIRS or BRAIXERD. 121
continued retirement. When I return home, and give myself
to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a new scene opens to my
mind, and my soul longs for mortification, self-denial, humility,
and divorcement from all the things of the world. This
evening, my heart was somewhat warm and fervent in prayer
and meditation, so that I was loath to indulge sleep. Conti-
nued in those duties till about midnight.
Jan. 4, " Was in a resigned and mortified temper of mind,
much of the day. Time appeared a moment^ life a vapour^ and
all enjoyments as empty bubbles^ and fleeting blasts of wind.
Jan. 5. « Had a humbling and oppressive sense of my un-
worthiness. My sense of the badness of my own heart filled my
soul with bitterness and anguish ; which was ready to sink, as un-
der the weight of a heavy burden. Thus I spent the evening,
till late. Was somewhat intense and ardent in prayer.
Jan. 6. " Feeling my extreme weakness, and want of grace,
the pollution of my soul, and danger of temptations on every
side, I set apart this day for fasting and prayer, neither eating nor
drinking from evening to evening, beseeching God to nave
mercy on me. My soul intensely longed that the dreadful spots
and stains of sin might be washed away from it. Saw some-
thing of the power and all-suflSciency of God, My soul seemed
to rest on his power and grace ; longed for resignation to his
vnll, and mortification to all things here below. My mind was
^eatly fixed on divine things : my resolutions for a life of mor-
tification, continual watchmlness, self-denial, seriousness and
devotion, were strong and fixed; my desires ardent and intense;
mj conscience tender, and afraid of every appearance of evil.
my soul grieved with reflection on past levity, and want of re-
solution for God. I solemnly renewed my dedication of my-
self to God, and longed for grace to enable me always to keep
covenant with him. Time appeared very short, eternity near ;
and a great name, either in or after life, together with all
earthly pleasures and profits, but an empty bubble, a deluding
dream.
Jan. 7. " Spent this" day in seriousness, with steadfast resolu-
tions for God, and a life of mortification. Studied closely till I
felt my bodily strength fail. Felt some degree of resignation to
Grod, with an acquiescence in his dispensations. Was grieved
that I could do so little for God before my bodily strength failed.
In the evening, though tired, was enabled to continue mstant in
praver for some time. Spent the time in reading, meditation,
ana prayer, till the evening was far spent : was grieved to think
that I could not watch unto prayer the whole night. But blessed
be God, heaven is a place of continual and incessant devotion,
though the earth is dull.'"
Vol. X. IB
\22 MEMOIRS OV BRAINERI;.
The six days following^ he continued in the same happy
frame of mind ; enjoyed tnc same composure, cabnness, resig-
nation, ardent desire, and sweet fervency of spirit, in a him
degree, every day, not one excepted. Thursday^ this week, he
kept as a day of secret fasting and prayer.
Jan, M. ^^ This morning, enjoyed a most solemn season in
prayer : my soul seemed enlarged, and assisted to pour out
Itself to God for grace, and for everv blessing I wanted for my-
self, my dear christians friends, and tor the church of God ; and
was so enabled to see Him who is invisible^ that my soul rett-
ed upon him for the performance of every thing 1 asked agreea-
ble to his will. It was then my happiness to ^ continue instant
in prayer,' and I was enabled to continue in it for near an hour.
My soul was then ' strong in the Lord, and in the power of his
might' Longed exceedmgly for an angelic holiness and pu-
rity, and to have all my thoughts, at all times, employed in
divine and heavenly things. O how unspeakably blessed it is,
to feel a measure of that rectitude, in which we were at first
created! Felt the same divine assistance in prayer sundry
times in the day. My soul confided in God for myself, and
for his Zion ; trusted in divine power and grace, that he
would do glorious things in his church on earth, for bis own
glory."
The next day he speaks of some glimpses which he had of
the divine glories, and of his being enabled to maintain his re-
solutions in some measure ; but complains, that he could not
draw near to God. He seems to be filled with trembling fears
lest he should return to a life of vanity, to please himself with
some of the enjoyments of this lower world ; and speaks of his
being much troubled, and feeling guilty, that he should address
immortal souls with no more ardency and desire of their sal-
vation. On Monday^ he rode down to Stockbridge, when he
was distressed with extreme cold; but notwithstanding, his
mind was in a devout and solemn frame in his journey. The
four next days, he was very ill, probably from the cold in his
journey ; yet he spent the time in a solemn manner. On FVi-^
day evening, he visited Mr. Hopkins ; and on Saturday, rode
eighteen miles to Salisbury, where he kept the Sabbath, and
enjoyed considerable degrees of God's gracious presence, as-
sistance in duty, and divine comfort and refreshment, longing
to give himself wholly to God, to be his forever.
Jan. as. " I think 1 never felt more resigned to God, nor
so dead to the world, in every respect, as now ; was dead to all
desire of reputation and greatness, either in life, or after
MKMOIRS OF BKAINERJJ. 123
death ; all I longed for, was to be holy, humble, crucified to
the world, &c.
Jan. 24, " Near noon, rode over to Canaan. In the even-
ing, I was unexpectedly visited by a considerable number of
people, with whom I was enabled to converse profitably on
divine things; took pains to describe the difference between a
regtdar and irregular self-love ; the one consisting with a
supreme love to God^ but the other not ; the former uniting
God's glory, and the soul's happiness, that they become one
common interest, but the latter disjoining and separating God^s
gloiy and man's happiness, seeking the latter with a neglect of
the former. Illustrated this by that genuine love that is found-
ed between the sexes ; which is diverse from that which is
wrought up towards a person only by rational argument, or
hope of self-interest. Love is a pleasing passion, it chords
pleasure to the mind where it is ; but yet, genuine love is not,
nor can be placed on any object tvith that design of pleasure
itself:'
Qo Wednesday he rode to Sheffield ; the next day^ to Stock-
bridge ; and on Saturday^ home to Kaunaumeek, though the
season was cold and stormy : which journey was followed with
illness and pain. It appears by this diary, that he spent the
time while riding, in profitable meditations, and in lifting up
his heart to God ; and he speaks of assistance, comfort and re-
freshment ; but still complains of barrenness, &c. His diary
ftwp tfie five next days is full of the most heavy, bitter com-
f>laint8 ; and he expresses himself as full of shame and self-
oathing fiM* his lifeiess temper of mind and sluggishness of
spirit, and as being in perplexity and extremity, and appearing
to himself unspediably vile and guilty before God, on ac-
count of some inward workings of corruption he found in his
heart, &c.
Feb. 2. " Spent this day in fasting and prayer ; seeking the
presence and assistance of God, that he would enable me to
overcome all my corruptions, and spiritual enemies.
Feb. 3, " Enjoyed more freedom and comfort than of late';
was engaged in meditation upon the different whispers of the
various powers and affections of a pious mind, exercised with a
great variety of dispensations ; and could not but write, as well
as meditate, on so entertaining a subject. I hope the Lord gave
me some true sense of divine things this day : but alas, how
great and pressing are the remains of indwelling corruption ! I
iun now more sensible than ever, that God alone is ^ the author
and finisher of our faith,' i. e. that the whole and every part of
sanctification, and every good word, work, or thought, found in
124 MKMUlKa OF BRAINEKD.
me, is the efl'ect of his power and grace ; that, 'without him, I
can do nothing,' in the strictest sense, and that, ' he works in
us to will and to do of his own good pleasure,' and fW>m no
other motive, O how amazing it is, that people can talk so
much about men's power and goodness ; when, if God did not
hold us back every moment, wc should be devils incarnate !
This my bitter experience, for several days last past, has abun-
dantly taught me concerning myself."
The writing, here referred to, was the following. It was found
among his detached papers, and entitled by him '' A Schema
of a Dialogue, between the various powers and cfff^ections of the
mind^ as they are found alternately whispering in the &odly
sotd.^^
"The Understanding introduced, (1) As discovering its own
excellency, and capacity of enjoying the most sublime pleasure
and happiness. (3) As observing its desire equal to its capacity,
and incapable of being satisfied with any thing which will not fill
it to the utmost extent of its exercise. (3) As finding itself a de-
pendent thing, not self-sufficient ; and, consequently, unable to
spin happiness, (as the spider spins its web) out of its own bowels.
This self-sufficiency observed to be the property and prerogative
of God alone, and not belonging to any created being, (i) As
in vain seeking sublime pleasure, satisfaction, and happmess
adequate to its nature, amongst created beings. The search
and knowledge of the truth in the natural world, allowed indeed
to be refreshing to the mind ; but atill failing to afford complete
happiness. (5.). As discovering the excellency and glory of God,
that he is the fountain of goodness, and well-spring of happiness,
and every way fit to answer the enlarged desires and cravings of
our immortal souls.
2. The Will introduced, as necessarily, yet freely, choosing
this God for its supreme happiness and only portion ; fully com-
plying with the understanding's dictates ; acquiescing in God as
the best good ; in his will as the best rule for intelligent creatures ;
rejoicing that God is in every respect just what he is ; and, withal,
choosing and delighting to be a dependent creature, always sub-
ject to this God, not aspiring after self-sufficiency and suprema-
cy, but acquiescing in the contrary.
3. Ardent Love introduced, as passionately longing to please
and glorify the divine Being, to be in every respect conformed
to him, and in that way to enjoy him. This love or desire re-
presented as most genuine ; not induced by mean and merce-
nary views ; not primarily springing from selfish hopes of salva-
tion, whereby the divine glories would be sacrificed to the idol
self; not arising from a slavish fear of divine anger in case of
neglect, nor yet from hopes of feeling the sweetness of that
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 125
tender and pleasant passion of love in one's own breast, but
from a just esteem of the beauteous object beloved. This love
further represented, as attended with vehement longings after
the enjoyment of its object, but unable to find by what means.
4. "The Understanding ^g'din introduced, as informing, (1.)
How God might have been enjoyed, yea, how he must necessa-
rily have been enjoyed, had not man sinned against him ; that,
as there was knowledge^ likeness and love^ so there must needs
be enjoyment, while there is no impediment (2.) How he may
be enjoyed in some measure now, viz. by the same knowledge^
begetting likeness and Zovc, which will be answered with returns
of Itwe, and the smiles of God's countenance, which are better
than life. (3.) How God may be perfectly enjoyed, viz. by the
soul's perfect freedom from sin. This perfect freedom never
obtained till death ; and then not by any unaccountable means,
or in any unheard of manner ; but the same by which it has
obtained some likeness to, and fruition of God in this world,
viz. a clear manifestation of him.
5. " Holy Desire appears, and inquires why the soul may
not be perfectly holy, and so perfect in the enjoyment of God
here ; and expresses most insatiable thirstings after such a tem-
per, and such fruition, and most consummate blessedness.
6. " Understanding again appears, and informs, that God
designs that those whom he sanctifies in part here, iand intends
for immortal glory, shall tarry awhile in this present evil world,
that their own experience of temptations, &c. may teach them
bow great the deliverance is, which God has wrought for them,
that they may be swallowed up in thankfulness and admiration
to eternity ; as also, that they may be instrumental of doing
good to their fellow-men. Now, if they were perfectly holy,
&c., a world of sin would not be a fit habitation for them :
and fiu1;her, such manifestations of God as are necessary com-
pletely to sanctify the «oul, would be insupportable to the body,
so that we cannot see God and live.
7. " Holy Impatience^ is next introduced, complaining of the
sins and sorrows of life, and almost repining at the distance of
a state of perfection ; uneasy to see and feel the hours hang so
dull and heavy, and almost concluding that the temptations,
hardships, disappointments, imperfections, and tedious employ-
ments of life, will never come to a happy period.
8. " Tender Conscience comes in, and meekly reproves the
complaints of Impatience ; urging how careful and watchful
we ought to be, lest we should offend the divine Being with
complaints ; alleging also the fitness of our waiting patiently
upon God for all we want, and that in a way of doing and suf-
♦That is, more properly, impatience in a holy soul^ vcad in reference to B,holj/
end : bat impatience itself is not holy, except we take the term in a less proper
•ense, as onr author eviclently doe?.
126 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
fering ; and at the same time mentioning the barrenness of the
soul, how much precious time is misimproved, and how little it
has enjoyed of God, compared with what it might have done ;
as also suggesting how frequently impatient complaints spring
from nothmg better than self-love, want of resignation, and a
greater reverence of the divine Being.
9. ^^ Judgment or Sound Mind next appears, and duly weighs
the complaints of Impatience and the gentle admonitions of
tender Conscience^ and impartially determines between them.
On the one hand, it concludes, that we may always be impatient
with sin ; and supposes that we may be also with such sorrow,
pain and discouragement, as hinder our pursuit of holiness,
though they arise from the weakness of nature. It allows us
to be impatient of the distance at which we stand from a state
of perfection and blessedness. It further indulges impatience
at the delay of time ; when we desire the period of it for no
other end, than that we may with angels be employed in the
most lively spiritual acts of devotion, and in giving all possible
glory to Him that lives forever. With temptations and sinful
imperfections, it thinks we may justly be uneasy ; and with dis-
appointments also, at least those which relate to our hopes of
communion with God, and growing conformity to him. As to
the tedious employments and hardships of life, it supposes some
longing for the end of them not inconsistent with a spirit of
faithfulness, and a cheerful disposition to perform the one and
endure the other. It supposes that a faithful servant, who frilly
designs to do all he possibly can, may still justly long for the
evening ; and that no rational man would blame his kind and
tender spouse, if he perceived her longing to be with him while
yet faithfulness and duty to him might still induce her to yield
for the present, to remain at a painful distance from him. On
the other hand, it approves of the caution, care and watchful-
ness of Tender Conscience^ lest the divine Being should be of-
fended with impatient complaints ; it acknowledges the fitness
of our waiting upon God^ in a way of patient doing and suffer-
ing ; but supposes this very consistent with ardent desires to
depart^ and to be with Christ. It owns it fit that we should
always remember our own barrenness, and thinks also that we
should be impatient of it, and consequently long for a state of
freedom from it ; and this, not so much that we may feel the
happiness of it, but, that God may have the glory. It grants
that impatient complaints often spring from self-love, and want
of resignation and humility. Such as these it disapproves :
and determines we should be impatient only of absence from
God, and distance from that state and temper wherein we may
most glorify him.
10. " Godly Sorrow introduced, as making her sad moan, not
so much that she is kept from the free possession and fiill en-
MEMOIRS Oy BRAINERD. - 127
joyment of happiness, but that God must be dishonoured ; the
soul being still in a world of sin, and itself imperfect. She
here, with grief, counts over past faults, present temptations,
and fears from the future.
11. " Ho-pe or Holy Confidence appears, and seems persuaded
that ' nothmg shall ever separate the soul from the love of God
in Christ Jesus.' It expects divine assistance and grace suffi-
cient for all the doing and suffering work of time, and that
death will ere long put a happy period to all sin and sorrow ;
and so takes occasion to rejoice.
12. " Godly Fear^ or Holy Jealousy here steps in, and sug-
gests some timorous apprehensions of the danger of deception :
mentions the deceitfulness of the heart, the great influence of
irregular self-love in a fallen creature ; inquires whether itself
is not likely to have fallen in with delusion, since the mind is so
dark, and so little of God appears to the soul ; and queries
whetfier all its hopes of persevering grace may not be presump-
tion, and whether its confident expectations of meeting death
as a friend, may not issue in disappointment
13. " Hereupon Reflection appears, and reminds the person .
of his past experiences ; as to the prepatory work of conviction
and humiliation ; the view he then had of the impossibility of
salvation, from himself or any created arm ; the manifestation
he has likewise had of the glory of God in Jesus Christ ; how
he then admired that glory, and chose that God for his only
portion, because of the excellency and amiableness he dis-
covered in him ; not from slavish fear of being damned, if he
did not, nor from base and mercenary hopes of saving himself;
but from a just esteem of that beauteous and glorious object ;
as also how he had from time to time rejoiced and acquiesced
in God for what he is in himself; being delighted, that he is
infinite in holiness, justice, power, and sovereignty, as well as
in mercy, goodness, and love ; how he has likewise, scores of
times, felt his soul mourn for sin, for this very reason, because
it is contrary and grievous to God ; yea, how he has mourned
over one vain and impertinent thought, when he has been so
far from fear of the divine vindictive wrath for it, that on the
contrary he has enjoyed the highest assurance of the divine
everlasting love : how he has, from time to time, delighted in
the commands of God, for their own purity and perfection, and
longed exceedingly to be conformed to them, and even to be
• holy, as God is holy ;' and counted it present heaven, to be
of a heavenly temper ; how he has frequently rejoiced, to think
of being forever subject to, and dependent on God ; account-
ing it infinitely greater happiness to glorify God in a state of
subjection to, and dependence on him, than to be a §od him-
self: and how heaven itself would be no heaven to him, if he
could not there be every thing that God would have him be.
128 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
14. '^ Upon this, Spiritual Sensation being awakened, comes
in and declares, that she now feels and ^ tastes that the Lord is
gracious ;^ that he is the only supreme good, the only soul satis-
fying happiness ; that he is a complete, self-sufficient, and al-
mighty portion. She whispers, ' Whom have I in heaven but
this God,' this dear and blessed portion ? ' and there is none
upon earth I desire beside him.' O it is heaven to please him,
and to be just what he would have me be I, O that my soul were
' holy, as God is holy !' Oh that it were ' pure, as Christ is pore;'
and ^ perfect, as my Father in heaven is perfect I' Th^e are
the sweetest commands in God's book, comprising all others ;
and shall I break them ? must I break them? am I under a fatal
necessity of it, as long as I live in this world ? O my soul ! wo,
wo is me, that I am a sinner ! because I now necessarily grieve
and offend this blessed God, who is infinite in goodness and
grace. O methinks, should he punish me for my sins, it
would not wound my heart so deep as to offend him ; but,
though I sin continually, he continually repeats his kindness
towards me ! O methinks, I could bear any suffering ; but how
can I bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed God 1 How
shall I give ten thousand times more honour to him? What
shall 1 do, to glorify and worship this best of beings ? O that
I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service for ever !
O that I could give up myself to him, so as never more to at-
tempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are
not perfectly conformed to his ! But O alas, alas ! I cannot, I
feel I cannot, be thus entirely devoted to God ! I cannot live
and sin not. O ye angels, do ye glorify him incessantly ; if
possible, exert yourselves still more, in more lively and ardent
devotion ; if possible, prostrate yourselves still lower before the
throne of the blessed king of heaven. I long to bear a part
with you, and if it were possible to help you. Yet when we
have done, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part
of the homage he is worthy of. While Spiritual Sensation whis-
pered these things. Fear and Jealousy were greatly overcome ;
and the soul replied, ' Now I know and am assured,' &c. and
again, it welcomed death as a friend, saying, ' O death where
is thy sting !' &c.
15. " Finally, Holy Resolution concludes the discourse, fixedly
determining to /oZZoi^ hard after God,, and continually to pursue
a life of conformity to him ; and the better to pursue this, enjoin-
ing it on the soul always to remember, that God is the only
source of happiness ; that his will is the only rule of rectitude
to an intelligent creature ; that earth has nothing in it desirable
for itself, or any further than God is seen in it ; and that the
knowledge of God in Christ, begetting and maintaining love,
and mortifying sensual and fleshy appetites, is the way to be
. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 1^
holy on earth, and so to be attempered to the complete holi-
ness of the-beavenly world/^
jFTe6. 4. '* Enjoyed some degree of freedom and spiritual re-
freshment ; was enabled to pray with some fervency, and long-
ing desires of Zion^s prosperity, and my faith and hope seemed
to take hold of Gody for the performance of what I was enabled
to plead for. Sanctification in myself, and the ingathering of
God^s elect, were all my desire -, and the hope of their accom-
plishment all my joy/'
Lord'*8 dayy Feb, 5. " Was enabled in some measure to rest
and confide m God, and to prize his presence and some glimpses
of the hght of his countenance, above my necessary food. —
Thought myself, after the season of weakness, temptation, and
desertion I endured last week, to be somewhat like Sampson,
when his locks began to grow again. Was enabled to preach
to my people with more life and warmth, than I have for
some weeks past.
Feb. 6. "This morning, my soul again was strengthened in
God, and found some sweet repose in him in prayer ; longing
especially fcH* the complete mortification of sensuality and pride,
and for resignation to God's dispensations, at all times, as
through grace, I felt it at this time. I did not desire deliverance
from any difficulty that attends my circuuislances, unless God
was willing. O how comfortable is this temper ! Spent most
of the day in reading God's word, in writing, and prayer. En-
joyed repeated and fi'equent comfort and intenseness of soul in
prayer through the day. In the evening, spent some hours in
private conversation with my people ; and afterwards felt some
warmth in secret prayer.
Feb. 7. " Was much engaged in some sweet meditations
on the powers and affections of the godly soul in the pursuit of
their beloved object ; wrote something of the native language
of spiritual sensation, in its soft and tender whispers ; declar-
ing, that it now ' feels and tastes, that the Lord is gracious ;
that he is the supreme good, the only soul satisfying happi-
ness : that he is a complete, sufficient, and almighty portion :
saying,
^ Whom have I in Heaven btU thee ? and there is none upon
earth that I desire beside this blessed portion. O, I feel that it
is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have
me to be ! O that my soul were holy^ as he is holy ! O that
it were jMire, eve:ii, as Christ is pure ; and perfect as my Father
in heaven is perfect ! These I feel are the sweetest commands
in God^s book, comprising all others. And shall I break them !
must I break them ! am 1 under the necessity of it as long as 1
live in the world! O my soul, wo, wo is me, that I am a sinner,
because I now necessarilv grieve and offend this blessed God,
Vol. X. * 17
130 Ml!;M01Ra OF BEAI&'fiBD.
who is iniinite in goodness and grace ! O methinks it' he would
punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to
offend him : but though I sin continually, yet he continually
repeats his kindness to me ! O methinks I could bear any su^
ferinss ; but how can I bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed
God T How shall I yield ten mousand times more honour to
him ? What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of
beings ? O that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to
his service forever I O that I could give up myself to him, so
as never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any will or
affections that are not perfectly conformed to him I Butt alas,
alas ! I fiqd I cannot be thus entirely devoted to Go^ ; I can-
not live, and not sin. O ye angels, do ye glorify him inces-
santly; and if possible, prostrate yourselves lower before the
blessed King of heaven ! I long to bear a part with you ; and,
if it were possible, to help you. O when we have done all that
we can, to all eternity, we shall not be able to offer the ten
thousandth part of die homage which the glorious Grod de-
serves !'
^^ Felt something spiritual, devout, resisned, and mortified to
the world, much of the day ; and especidly towards and in the
evening. Blessed be God, that he enables me to love him for
himself
Feb. 8. " Was in a comfortable frame of soul, most of the
day ; though sensible of, and restless under spiritual barren*
ness. I find that both mind and body are quickly tired with
intenseness and fervour in the things of God. O that I could
be as incessant as angels in devotion and spiritual fervour.
Feb. 9. " Observed this day as a day of fasting and prayer,
intreating of God to bestow upon me his blessing and grace ;
especially to enable me to live a life of mortification to the
world, as well as of resignation and patience. Enjoyed some
realizing sense of divine power and goodness in prayer, several
times ; and was enabled to roll the burden of myself, and
friends, and Zion, upon the goodness and grace of God ; but,
in the general, was more dry and barren than I have usually
been of late, upon such occasions.
Feb. 10. " Was exceedingly oppressed, most of the day,
with shame, grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly, as
well as present barrenness and coldness. When God sets be-
fore me my past misconduct, especially any instances of miS'
guided zecdj it sinks my soul into shame and confusion, makes
me afraid of a shaking leaf. My fear is such as the prophet
Jeremy complains of, Jer. xx. 10. I have no confidence to
hold up my face, even before my fellow worms ; but only when
my soul confides in God, and I find the sweet temper of Christ,
the spirit of humility, solemnity and mortification, and resigna-
tion, alive in my soul. But, in the evening, was unexpectedly
MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£RD. 13 1
refreshed in pouring out my complaint to God; my shame and
fear was turned into a sweet composure and acquiescence in
God.
Feb. 11. '^ Felt much as yesterday ; enjoyed but little sen-
sible commtmion with God.
Lories dayy Feb. 12. '^ My soul seemed to confide in God,
and to repose itself on him ; and had intense longings after
God in prayer. Enjoyed some sweet divine assistance, in the
forenoM, in preactung ; but in the afternoon, was more per-
ptexed with shame, &c. Afterwards, found some relief in
prayer ; loved, as a feeble, afflicted, despised creatwe, to Cttst
myself on a God of infinite grace and goodness, hoping for no
hi^iness but firom him.
jFeb. 13. ** Was calm and sedate in morning devotions ; and
mjr soul seemed to rely on God. Rode to Stockbridge, and
emoyed some comfortable meditations by the way; had a more
refreshing taste and relish of heavenly blessedness, than I have
enjoyed loit many months past. I have many times, of late,
feh as ardent desires of holiness as ever ; but not so much
sense of the sweetness and unspeakable pleasure of the enjoy-
ments and employments of heaven. My soul longed to leave
earth, and bear a part with angels in their celestial employ-
ments. My soul said, 'Lord it is good to be here ;^ and it
appeared to be better to die, than to lose the relish of these
heavenly delights.^^
A sense of divine things seemed to continue with him, in a
lesser d^ree, through the next day. On Wednesday <, he was,
by some discourse which he heard, cast into a melancholy
gloom, that operated much in the same manner as his melan-
chcdy had formerly done, when he came first to Kaunaumeek ;
th^ effects of which seemed to continue in some degree the six
foUawing days.
Feb. ^SL **' In the morning, had as clear a sense of the ex-
ceeding pollution of my nature, as ever I remember to have
had in my life. I then appeared to myself inexpressibly loath-
some and defiled. Sins of childhood, of early youth, and such
t^lfies as I had not thought of for years together, as I remem-
%Mr, came now fresh to my view, as if committed but yester-
^layv 8Ad appeared in the most odious colours ; they appeared
^inore in number than the hairs of my head ; yea, they ^ went
ciffer my head as a heavy burden.^ In the evening, the hand of
fStHh seemed to be strengthened in God ; my soul seemed to
>r«Bt and ttcquiesce in him ; was suppcnted under my burdens,
^fe^eading the cxxvtb psdm ; and found that it was sweet and
^somfinrtable to lean on God
13'2 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£RP.
Feb. !23. •' Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some as-
sistance. — There is a God in heaven who overrules all things
for the best ; and this is the comfort of my soul : ^^ I had faintM
unless I had believed to see the goodness of God in the land
of the living," notwithstanding present sorrows.— In the eiFen-
ing enjoyed some freedom in prayer, for myself, friends, and the
t church of God.
Feb,2i. ^^ Was exceedingly restless and perplexed under a
sense of misimprovement of time ; moumea to see time pass
away ; felt in the greatest hurry ; seemed to have every thing
to do : yet could do nothing, but only grieve and groan under
my ignorance, unprofitableness, meanness, the foolishness of
my actions and thoughts, the pride and bitterness of some past
frames, all which at this time appeared to me in lively colonrs,
and filled me with shame. I could not compose my mind to
any profitable studies, by reason of this pressure. And the
reason, I judge, why I am not allowed to study a great part of
my time, is, because I am endeavouring to lay in such a stock
of knowledge as shall be a self'SiMciency, — I know it to be
my indispensable duty to study, and quali^ myself in the heali
manner 1 can for public service: but this is my misery, I
naturally study and prepare, that I may ^^ consume it upon iny
lusts" of pride and self-confidence."
He continued in much tlie same frame of uneasiness at the
misimprovement of time, and pressure of spirit under a sense
of vileness, unprofitableness, olc. for the six following days ;
excepting some intervals of calmness and composure, in resig-
nation to, and confidence in God.
March 2. " Was most of the day employed in writing on a
divine subject. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some
small degree of assistance. But m the evening, God was
pleased to grant me divine sweetness in prayer ; especially in
the duty of intercession. I think, I never felt so much kind-
ness and love to those who, I have reason to think, are my ene-
mies — though at that time I found such a disposition to think
the best of all, that 1 scarce knew how to think that any such
thing as enmity and hatred lodged in my soul ; it seemed as if
all the world must needs be friends — and never prayed with
more freedom and delight, for myself, or dearest friend, than I
did now for my enemies.
March 3. " In the morning, spent (I believe) an hour in
prayer, with great intenseness and freedom, and with the most
soft and tender affection towards mankind. I longed that
those who, I have reason to think, owe me ill will, might be
eternally happy. It seemed refreshing to think of meeting
them in heaven, how much soever they had injured me oft
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 133
earth: had no disposition to insist upon any confession from
them, in order to reconciliation, and the exercise of love and
kindness to them. O it is an emblem of heaven itself, to love
all the world with a love of kindness, forgiveness, and benevo-
lence ; to feel our souls sedate, mild and meek ; to be void of
all evil surmisings and suspicions, and scarce able to think evil
of any man upon any occasion; to find our hearts simple,
open, and free, to those that look upon us with a different
eye I — ^Prayer was so sweet an exercise to me, that I knew
not how to cease, lest I should loose the spirit of prayer. Felt
no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the pleasure of
it, bat only to support my nature, and fit me for divme service.
Ccmld not be content without a very particular mention of a
great number of dear friends at the throne of grace ; as also
the particular circumstances of many, so far as they were
known.
' Lord'^8 day, March 4. " Tn the morning, enjoyed the same
intenseness in prayer as yesterday morning, though not in so
great a degree : felt the same spirit of love, universal benevo-
lence, forgiveness, humility, resignation, mortfication to the
world, and composure of mind, as then. My soul rested in
Oi>d ; and I found I wanted no other refuge or friend. While
my soul thus trusts in God, all things seem to be at peace with
me, even the stones of the earth : but when 1 cannot appre-
hend and confide in God, all things appear with a different
aspect.*'
Through the four next days, he complains of barrenness,
want of holy confidence in God, stupidity, wanderings of mind,
<&c., and speaks of oppression of mind, under a sense of ex-
ceeding meanness, past follies, as well as present workings of
corruption. On Friday, he seems to have been restored to a
considerable degree of the same excellent frame, which he en-
joyed the Saturday before.
March 10. " In the morning, felt exceeding clead to the
world, and all its enjoyments. I thought I was ready and willing
to give op life and all its comforts, as soon as called to it ; and
yet then had as much comfort of life as almost ever I had. Life
itself now appeared but an empty bubble ; the riches, honours,
and common enjoyments of life appeared extremely tasteless.
I longed to be perpetually and entirely crucified to all things
here below, by the cross of Christ. My soul was sweetly resigned
to God's disposal of me, m every regard ; and I saw that nothing
had happened but what was best for me. I confided in God, that
he would never leave me, though I should " walk through the
valley of the shadow of death." It was then my meat and drink
<o6e haly^ to live to the Lord, and die to the Lord. And I thought
134 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
that I then enjoyed such a heaven, as far exceeded the most sub*
lime conceptions of an unregenerate soul ; and even unspeakably
beyond what I myself could conceive of at another time. I did
not wonder that Peter said, " Lord, it is good to be here,'' when
thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was full of love
and tenderness in the duty of intercession ; especially felt a most
sweet affection to some precious godly ministers, of my acquain-
tance. Prayed earnestly for dear Christians, and for those 1 hove
reason to fear are my enemies ; and could not have qpokeii a
word of bitterness, or entertained a bitter thought, against the
vilest man living. Had a sense of my own great unwOTthiness.
My soul seemed to breathe forth love and praise to God afifeah,
when I thought he would let his children love and receive me
as one of their brethren and fellow-citizens. When I diought
of their treating me in that manner, I longed to lie at their
feet ; and could think of no way to express the sinceritr and
simplicity of my love and esteem of them, as beins much bet-
ter than myselfl Towards night, was very sorrowful ; seened
to myself the worst creature nving ; and could not pray, nor
meditate, nor think of holding up my face before the world. —
Was a little relieved in prayer, in the evening ; but longed to
get on my knees, and ask forgiveness of every body that ever
had seen any thing amiss in my past conduct, especialfy in my
relisioiis zeal. Was afterwards much perplexed, so that 1
could not sleep quietly.
Lord^s day^ March 11. " My soul was, in some measure,
strengthened in God^ in morning devotion : so that I was re-
leased from trembling fear and distress. Preached to my peo-
ple from the parable of the sower ^ Matth. xiii. and enjoyed some
iassistance, both parts of the day ; had some freedom, affection,
and fervency, in addressing my poor people ; longed that God
should take hold of their hearts, and make them spiritually
alive. And, indeed, I had so much to say to them, that I knew
not how to leave off speaking.
This was the last Sabbath in which he ever performed public
service at Kaunaumeek, and these the last sermons which he
ever preached there. It appears by his diary, that while he con-
tinued with these Indians, he took great pains with them, and
did it with much discretion ; but the particular manner how,
has been omitted for brevity's sake.
March 12. ^^In the morning, was in a devout, tender, and
loving frame of mind ; and was enabled to cry to God, I hope,
with a child-like spirit, with importunity, resignation, and com-
posure of mind. My spirit was full of quietness, and love to
mankind; and longed that peace should reign on the earlii;
was grieved at the very thoughts of a /Jery, angry ^ and intent
H£MOiRS OF BRAINKRD. 135
jierate zeal in religion ; mourned over past follies in that re-
gard; and confided in God for strength and grace sufficient
for my future work and trials. Spent the day mainly in hard
labour, making preparation for my intended journey.
March 13, " Felt my soul going forth after God sometimes ;
but not with such'ardency as I desired. In the eveninff, was
enabled to continue instant in prayer^ for some considerable
time together ; and especially had respect to the journey I de-
signed to enter upon, with the leave of divine providence, on
the morrow. Enjoyed some freedom and fervency, intreating
that the divine presence might attend me in every place where
my business might lead me ; and had a particular reference to
the trials and temptations to which I apprehend I might be
more eminently exposed in particular places. Was strength-
ened and comforted ; although I was before very weary. Truly
the joy of the Lord is strength and life.
mwrcn 14. ^^ Enjoyed some intenseness of soul in prayer,
repeatinff my petitions for God^s presence in every place where 1
expected to be in my journey. Besought the Lord that I might
not be too much pleased and amused with dear friends and ac-
quaintance, in one place and another. Near ten, set out on
my journey ; and near night came to Stockbridge.
March 15. " Rode down to Sheffield. Here I met a messen-
ger from East Hampton on Long Island ; who, by the unanimous
vote of that large town, was sent to invite me thither, in order
to settle with that people, where I had been before frequently
invited. Seemed more at a loss what was my duty, than be-
fore; when I heard of the great difficulties of that place, I was
much concerned and grieved, and felt some desire to comply
with their request ; but knew not what to do : endeavoured to
commit the case to God."
The two next days^ he went no further than Salisbury, being
much hindered by the rain. When he came there, he was
much indisposed. He speaks of comfortable and profitable
conversation with christian friends, on these days.
Lord'^s daV'i March 18. " [At Salisbury.] Was exceeding
weak and famt, so that I could scarce walk : but God was
pleased to afford me much freedom, clearness, and fervency in
preaching : I have not had the like assistance in preaching to
sinners for many months past. Here another messenger met
me, and informed me of the vote of another congregation, to
give me an invitation to come among them upon probation,
for settlement.* Was somewhat exercised in mind with a
* This congregation was Uiat at Millington, near Haddam* They were rery
eancstly desiroas of his coming among them.
136 M£MOIRS OF BRAlNERD.
weight and burden of care. Oh that God would ^* send fi
faithful labourers into his harvest !^^
After this he went forward on his journey towards New Yo
and New Jersey: in which he proceeded slowly; perfi
his journey under great degrees of bodily indisposition. Ho
ever, he preached several times by the way, being urged _ ^
friends, in which he had considerable assistance. lie spealci!
of comfort in conversation with christian friends, from time
time, and of various things in the exercises and frames of hh^
heart, which show much of a divine influence on his mind i
this journey : but yet complains of the things that he feared^
viz. a decline of his spiritual life, or vivacity in religion, by^
means of his constant removal from place to place, and want
of retirement ; and complains bitterly of his unworthiness, dead-
ness, &c. He came to New York on Wednesday^ March 28,
and to Elizabethtown on the Saturday following, where it
seems he waited till the commissioners came together.
April. 5. ^^ Was again much exercised with weakness, and
with pain in my head. Attended on the commissioners in their
meetmg.t Resolved to go on still with the Indian affair, if di-
vine providence permitted ; although I had before felt some in-
clination to go to East Hampton, where I was solicited to
go."
By the invitations which Brainerd had lately received, it ap-
pears, that it was not from necessity, or for want of opportunities
to settle in the ministry amongst the English, notwithstanding
the disgrace he had been laid under at college, that he was de-
termined to forsake all the outward comforts to be enjoyed in the
English settlements, to ^o and spend his life among the savages,
and endure the difficulties and self-denials of an Indian mission.
He had, just as he was leaving Kaunaumeek, had an earnest in-
vitation to a settlement at East Hampton on Long Islan.d, the
fairest, pleasantest town on the whole island, and one of its
largest and most wealthy parishes. The people there were
unanimous in their desires to have him for their pastor, and for
a long time continued in an earnest pursuit of what they
desired, and were hardly brought to relinquish their endeavours,
and give up their hopes of obtaining him. Besides, the invi-
tation which he had to Millington, was near his native town,
t The Indians at Kaunaumeek being but few in number, and Brainerd
haying now been labouring among them about a year, and having prevailed
upon them to be willing to leave Kaunaumeek, and remove to Stockbridge, to
live constantly under Mr. Sergeant's ministry ; he thought he might now do
more service for Christ among the Indians elsewhere: and therefore went ibis
journey to New Jersey to lay the matter before the commissioners ; who met at
Elizabethtown, on the occasion, and determined that he should forthwith leave
Kaunaumeek; and go to the Delaware In'.lia'i?.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKU. 13*7
and in the midst of his friends. Nor did Craixerd choose the
business of a missionary to the Indians, rather tlian accept of
those invitations, because he was unacquainted with the diffi-
culties and sufferings which attended such a service ; for he
had had experience of these difficulties in summer and winter ;
having spent about a twelve-month in a lonely desert among
these savages, where he had gone through extreme hardships,
and been the subject of a train of outward and inward sorrows.
which were now fresh in his mind. Notwithstanding all these
things, he chose still to go on with this business ; and that.
although the place to which he was now going, was at a much
greater distance from most of his friends, acquaintance, and
native land.
After this he continued two or three days in New Jersey, ver}-
ill; and then returned to New York ; and from thence into New
England ; and went to his native town of Haddam, where he ar-
rived on Saturday, April 14. And he continues still his bitter
complaints of want of retirement. While he was in New York,
he says thus, ^^ O it is not the pleasures of the world which can
comfort me ! If God deny his presence, what are the pleasures
of the city to me ? One hour of sweet retirement where God is,
is bett^ than the whole world.'^ And he continues to complain
of his ignorance, meanness, and unworthiness. However, he
speaks of some seasons of special assistance and divine sweet-
ness. He spent some days among his friends at East Hamp-
ton and Millington.
April 17. '• Rode to Millington again ; and felt perplexed
irhen I set out ; was feeble in body, and weak in faith. I was
oing to preach a lecture ; and feared I should never have as-
Lstance enough to get through. But, contriving to ride alone,
t a distance from the company that was going, I spent the
me in lifting up my heart to God. Had not gone far before
ly soul was abundantly strengthened with those words, ^^ If
rod be for us, who can be against us ?'^ I went on, confiding
i Crod ; and fearing nothing so much as self-confidence. In
ds frame I went to the house of God, and enjoyed some as-
Btance. Afterwards, felt the spirit of love and meekness in
[>nver8ation with some friends. Then rode home to my bro-
ler^s : and, in the evening, singing hymns with friends, my
3ul seemed to melt : and in prayer, ^erwards, enjoyed the
xercise of faiths and was enamed to be fervent in spirit : found
lore of God^s presence, than I have done any time in my late
^^arisome journey. Eternity appeared very near ; my nature
iraa very weak, and seemed reaay to be dissolved ; the sun de-
fining, and the shadows of the evening drawing on apace.
longed to fill up the remaining moments all for God!
rhooffh my bodv was so feeble, and wearied with preaching,
l;]iS MEMOIRS OF imAlXLHD.
mid iniicli priviilc conversation, yet I wanted to sit up all night
to do sometliing for God. To God, the giver of these refresh-
ments, be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
April 18. '• Was very weak, and enjoyed but little spiritual
comfort. Was exercised with one who cavilled against original
.sm. May the Lord open his eyes to see the fountain of sin in
himself f'^
After this, he visited several ministers in Connecticut ; and
then travelled towards Kaunaumeek, and came to Mr. Sergeant^s
at Stockbridge, Thursday, April 26. He performed this Joulmey
in a very weak state of body. The things he speaks o^ apper*
taining to the frames and exercises of his mind, are at some
times deadness and want of spiritual comfort ; at other times,
resting in God, spiritual sweetness in conversation, enga^edness
in meditation on the road, assistance in preaching, rejoicing to
think that so much more of his work was done, and he so much
nearer to the eternal world. And he once and again speaks
of a sense of great ignorance and spiritual pollution.
April 27 and 28. '^ Spent some time in visiting friends, and
discoursing with. my people, (who were now moved down from
their own place to Mr. Sergeant's,) and found them very glad-
to see me returned. Was exercised in my mind with a sense
of my own unworthiness.
Lord's day^ April 29. Preached for Mr. Sergeant both parts
of the day, from Rev. xiv. 4. These are they which were not
defiled^ <^c. Enjoyed some freedom in preaching, though not
much spirituality. In the evening, my heart was in some mea-
sure lifted up in thankfulness to God for any assistance.
April 30. " Rode to Kaunaumeek, but was extremely ill ;
did not enjoy the comfort I hoped for in my own house.
May 1. " Having received new orders to go to a number of
Indians, on Delaware river, in Pennsylvania, and my people
here being mostly removed to Mr. Sergeant's, I this day took all
my clothes, books, &c. and disposed of them, and set out for
Delaware river ; but made it my way to return to Mr. Ser-
geant's, which 1 did this day, just at night. Rode several hours
in the rain through the howling wilderness, although I was so
disordered in bodv, that little or nothing but blood came from
me.'.'
He continued at Stockbridge the next day^ and on Thursday
rode a little way, to Sheffield^ under a great degree of illness ;
but with encouragement and cheerfulness of mind under his fa-
tigues. On Friday, he rode to Salisbury, and continued there
till after the Sabbath. He speaks of his soul's being, some part
of this time, refreshed in conversation with some Christian
MEMOIRS OF BKAl.NERD. 139
friends, about their heavenly home, and their journey thither.
At other times, he speaks of himself as exceedingly perplexed
^ith barrenness and deadness, and has this exclamation : " O
^Uit time should pass with so little done for God !'' On Mon-
^^w/, he rode to Sharon ; and speaks of himself as distressed at
^e consideration of the misimprovement of time.
JUay 8." " Set out from Sharon, in Connecticut, and travelled
^^ut forty-five miles to a place called Fishkill;* and lodged
^ere. Spent much of my time, while riding, in prayer, that God
^otild go with me to Delaware. My heart, sometimes, was ready
to sink with the thoughts of my work, and going alone in the
wilderness, I knew not where ; but still it was comfortable, to
^^Unk, that others of God's children had " wandered about in
caves and dens of the earth ;" and Abraham, when he was
called to go forth, " went out, not knowing whither he went."
Oh that I might follow after God !"
The next day^ he went forward on his journey ; crossed the
Hudson, and went to Goshen in the Highlands; and so
travelled across the woods, from the Hudson to the Delaware,
about a hundred miles, through a desolate and hideous coun-
try, above New Jersey ; where were very few settlements : in
which journey he sufiered much fatigue and hardship. He visited
some Indians in the way, and discoursed with them concern-
ing Christianity: Was considerably melancholy and disconso-
late, being alone in a strange wilderness. On Saturday^ he
came to a settlement of Irish and Dutch people, about twelve
miles above the Forks of Delaware.
Lord^s day^ May 13. " Rose early ; felt very poorly after
my lonff journey, and after being wet and fatigued. Was very
melancnoly ; have scarcely ever seen such a gloomy morning
in my life ; there appeared to be no Sabbath ; the children
were all at play ; I a stranger in the wilderness, and knew not
where to go ; and all circumstances seemed to conspire to
render my afiairs dark and discouraging. Was disappointed
respecting an interpreter^ and heard that the Indians were
much scattered. O I mourned after the presence of God, and
seemed like a creature banished from his sight ! yet he was
pleased to support my sinkmg soul, amidst all my sorrows ; so
that I never entertained any thought of quitting my business
among the poor Indians ; but was comforted, to think, that
death would ere long set me free from these distresses. Rode
about three or four miles to the Irish people, where I found
some that appeared sober and concerned about religion. My
* A place in NewYork govermnent, near Ihc Hudson, on the east side of the
river.
140 MEHUIRS OF BRAlNfiKl;.
heart then began to be a Uttle encouraged : went and preachedf
first to the Irish, and then to the Indians : and in the evening,
was a httle comforted ; my soul seemed to rest on Gody and
take courage. Oh that the Lord would be my support and
comforter in an evil world !
May 14. Was very busy in some necessary studies. Felt
myself very loose from all the world ; all appeared ** vanity
and vexation of spirit.^^ Seemed lonesome and disconsolate,
as if I were banished from all mankind, and bereaved of all
that is called pleasurable in the world ; but appeared to my-
self so vile and unworthy, it seemed fitter for me to be here
than any where.
May 15. '-'- Still much engaged in my studies ; and enjoyed
m<Mre health, than I have for some time past : but was some''
what dejected in spirit with a sense of my meanness ; seemed
as if I could never do any thing at all to* any good purpose, by
reason of ignorance and folly. Oh that a sense of these
things might work more habitual humility iu my soul I^^
He continued much in the same frame the next day.
May 17. ^^ Was this day greatly distressed with a sense of
my vileness ; appeared to myself too bad to walk on God's
earth, or to be treated with kindness by any of his creatures.
God was pleased to let me see my inward pollution and cor-
ruption, to such a desree, that I almost despaired of being
more holy: ^^-O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver
me from the body of this death ?" In the afternoon, met with
the Indians, according to appointment, and preached to them.
And while riding to them, my soul seemed to confide in God ;
and afterwards nad some relief and enlargement of soul in
prayer, and some assistance in the duty of intercession ; vital
piety and holiness appeared sweet to me, and I longed for the
perfection of it.
May 18. "Felt again somewhat of the sweet spirit of reli-
gion ; and my soul seemed to confide in God, that he would
never leave me. But oftentimes saw myself so mean a crea*
lure, that I knew not how to think of preaching. Oh that I
could always live fo, and upon God !
May 19. " Was, some part of the time, greatly oppressed
with the weight and burden of my work ; it seemed impossible
for me ever to go through with the business I had undertaken.
Towards night was very calm and comfortable ; and I think,
my soul trusted in God for help.
Lord's day^ May 20. " Preached twice to the poor Indians ;
and enjoyed some freedom in speaking, while I attempted to
remove their prejudices against Christianity. My soul longed
for assistance from above, all the while ; for I saw 1 had no
MEMOIRS OF BHAINERD. 141
strength sufficient for that work. Aflerwards, preached to the
Irish people ; was much assisted in the first prayer, and some-
what in the sermon. Several persons seemed much concern*
ed for their souls, with whom I discoursed afterwards with much
fireedom and some power. Blessed be God for any assistance
afforded to an unworthy worm. Oh that I could live to him P"^
Through the remainder of this week^ he was sometimes ready
to sink with a sense of his unworthiness and unfitness for the
i¥ork of the ministry ; and sometimes encouraged and lifted
above his fears and sorrows, and was enabled confidently to
rely on God ; and especially on Saturday, towards night, he en-
joyed calmness and composure, and assistance in prayer to
Grod. He rejoiced, ^^ that God remains unchangeably power«^
fill and faithful, a sure and sufiScient portion, and the dwelling
place of bis children in all generations.^^
Lord^s day^ May 27. ^^ Visited my Indians, in the morning,
and attended upon a funeral among them ; was^ affected to see
their Heathenish practices. Oh that they might be ^^ turned
from darkness to light !^^ Afterwards got a considerable num-
ber of them together, and preached to them ; and observed
thein very attentive. After this, preached to the white |>eople
from Heb. ii. 3. How shall we escape if we neglect^ 4^. Was
enabled to speak with some freedom and power : several peo-
Ele seemed much concerned for their souls ; especially one who
ad been educated a Roman Catholic. Blessed be the Lord
for any help.
May 28. " Set out from the Indians above the Forks of the
Delaware, on a journey towards Newark in New Jersey, accord-
ing to my orders. Rode through the wilderness ; was much
fatigued with the heat ; lodged at a place called Black River :
was exceedingly tired and worn out."
On Tuesday he came to Newark. The next day went to
Elizabethtown. On Thursday he w< nt to New York, and on
Friday returned to Elizabethtown. These days were spent in
some perplexity of mind. He continued at Elizabethtown
till Friday in the week following. Was enlivened, refreshed,
and strengthened on the Sabbath at the Lord's table. The
ensuing days of the week were spent chiefly in studies prepa-
ratory to his ordination ; and on some of them he seemed to
have much of God's gracious presence, and of the sweet influ-
ences of his Spirit ; but was in a very weak state of body. On
Saturday he rode to Newark.
hordes day^ June 10. " [At Newark] in the morning was
much concerned how I should perform the work of the ^ day :
and trembled at the thoughts of being left to myself. Enjoyed
14^ MEMOIRS OF brainerd;
very considerable assistance in all parts of the public service^
Had an opportunity again to attend on the ordinance of the
Lord^s supper, and through divine goodness was refreshed m it:
my soul was full of love and tenderness towards the children of
God, and towards all men ; felt a certain sweetness of disposi-
tion towards every creature. At night, I enjoyed more spiri-
tuality and sweet desire of holiness, than I have felt for some
time: was afraid of every thought and every motion, lest
thereby my heart should be drawn away from God. Oh that I
might never leave the blessed God ! ^^ Lord, in thy presence is
fulmess of joy." O the blessedness of living to Goal
June 11. " This day the Presbytery met together at Newark,
in order to my ordination. Was very weak and disordered in
body ; yet endeavoured to repose my confidence in God. Spent
most of the day alone ; especially the forenoon. At three in
the afternoon preached my probation sermon, froih Acts xzvi.
17, 18. Delivering thee from the people^ and from the Gen^
tilesj 4*^. being a text given me for that end. Felt not well
either in body or mind ; however, God carried me through
comfortably. Afterwards, passed an examination before tke
Presbytery. Was much tired, and my mind burdened with
the greatness of that charge 1 was in the most solemn manner
about to take upon me ; my mind was so pressed with the
weight of the work incumbent upon me, that I eould not sleep
this night, though very weary and in great need of rest
June 12. ^^ Was this morning frirther examined, respecting
my experimented acquaintance with Christianity.* At ten
o'clock my ordination was attended ; the sermon preached by
the Rev. Mr. Pemberton. At this time I was affected with a
sense of the important trust committed to me ; yet was com-
posed, and solemn, without distraction; and I hope that then,
as many times before, I gave myself up to God, to be for Awn,
and not for another. O that I might always be engaged in the
service of God, and duly remember the solemn charge I have
received, in the presence of God, angels, and men. Amen.
May I be assisted of God for this purpose. — Towards night,
rode to Elizabethtown.''
* Mr Pemberton in a letter to the honourable society in Scotland, published
in the Christian Monthly History^ writes thus, '• We can with pleasure say,
that Mr. Brainerd passed through his ordination trial, to the universal appro-
bation of the Presbytery,, and appeared uncommonly qualified for the work of
the ministry. He seems to be armed with a great deal of self-denial, and ani-
mated with a noble zeal to propagate the °:ospel among those barbarous natioQd,
who haye long dwelt in the darkness of Heathenism."
CHAPTER VI.
From his Ordination^ to the commencement of his Labours at
Crosweeksung,
Jtme.13. [1744.] " Spent some considerable time in writing
an account of the Indian affairs to go to Scotland ; some, in
conversation with friends; but enjoyed not much sweetnefls
aBd satisfaction.
June 14 " Received some particular kindness from friends ;
and wondered, that God should open the hearts of any to treat
me with kindness : saw myself to be unworthy of any favour
from God, or any of my fellow-men. Was much exercised
with pain in my head ; however, I determined to set out on my
journey towards the Delaware in the afternoon ; but when the
.afternoon came, my pain increased exceedingly ; so that I was
obliged to betake myself to bed. The night following, I was
greatly distressed with pain and sickness ; was sometimes al-
most bereaved of the exercise of reason by the extremity of
pain. Continued much distressed till Saturday^ when I was
somewhat relieved by an emetic : but was unable to walk
abroad till the Monday following, in the afternoon ; and still
remained very feeble. I often admired the goodness of God,
that he did not suffer me to proceed on my journey from this
place where I was so tenderly used, and to be sick by the way
among strangers. God is very gracious to me, both in health
and sickness, and intermingles much mercy with all my aiflic-
ticMis and toils. Enjoyed some sweetness in. things divine, in
the midst of my pain and \Teakness. Oh that I could praise
the Lord.
- On Tuesday^ June 19 — he set out on his journey home, and
in three days reached his residence, near the Forks of Dela-
ware. Performed the journey under much weakness of body ;
but had comfort in his soul, from day to day : and both his
weakness of body, and consolation of mind, continued through
the week.
Lard^s day^ Juiie 24. " Extremely feeble ; scarcely able to
walk ; however, visited my Indians, and took much pains to in-
144 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
struct them ; laboured with some that were much disaffected to^
Christianity. My mind was much burdened with the weight an<S
difficulty of my work. My whole dependence and hope of suc-
cess seemed to be on God : who alone I saw could make them
willing to receive instruction. My heart was much engaged in
prayer, sending up silent requests to God, even while I wai
speaking to them. Oh that 1 could always go in the strength
iH the Lord I
June 25. ^^ Was somewhat better in health than of late ; and
was able to spend a considerable part of the day in prayer and
close study. Had more freedom and fervency m prayer than
usual of late ; especially longed for the presence of God in my
work, and that the poor Heathen might be converted. And in
evening prayer, my faith and hope in God were much raised.
To an eye of reason^ every thing that respects the conversion
of the Heathen^ is as dark as midnight ; and yet I cannot but
hope in God for the accomplishment of something glorious
among them. My soul longed much for the advancement of
the Redeemer's kmgdom on earth. Was very fearful lest I
diould admit some vain thought, and so lose the sense I then
had of divine things. Oh for an abiding heavenly temper!
June 26. '^ In the mornmg, my desires seemed to rise, and
ascend up freely to God. Was busy most of the day in trans-
lating prayers into the language of the Delaware Indians ; met
with great difficulty, because my interpreter was altogether un-
acquainted with the business. But though I was much dis-
couraged with the extreme difficulty of tJbat work, yet God
supported me ; and especially in the evening, gave me sweet
refreshment. In prayer, my soul was enlarged, and my faith
drawn into sensible exercise ; was enabled to cry to God for
my poor Indians ; and though the work of their converson ap-
peared impossible with man^ yet, with God^ I saw aU things
were possible. My faith was much strengthened, by observing
the wonderful assistance God affi>rded his servants Nehemiah
and Ezra, in reforming his people, and re-establishing his an-
cient church. I was much assisted in prayer for my dear Chris-
tian friends, and for others whom I apprehended to be Christ-
less ; but was more especially concerned for the poor Heathen,
and those of my own charge ; was enabled to be instant in
prayer for them ; and hopeful that God would bow the hea-
vens and come down for their salvation. It seemed to me,
that there could be no impediment sufficient to obstruct that
glorious work, seeing the living God, as I strongly hoped, was
engaged for it. I continued in a solemn frame, lifting up my
heart to God for assistance and grace, that I might oe more
mortified to this present world, that my whole soul might be
taken up continually in concern for the advancement of Christ's
kingdom. Earnestly desired that God would purge me more.
MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£RJ>. 145
niore, that I might be as a chosen vessel to bear his naiue among
the Heathens. Continued in this frame till I fell asleep.
June 27. ^^ Felt something of the same solemn concern, and
spirit of prayer, which I enjoyed last night, soon after I rose in
t&e noKmimg. In the afternoon, rode several miles to see if I
could procure any lands for the poor Indians, that they might
live together, and be under better advantages for instruction. —
While I was riding, had a deep sense of the greatness and diffi-
cidhr 6f my work ; and my soul seemed to rely wholly upon
God for success, in the diligent and faithful use of means. Saw,
with the greatest certainty, that the arm of the Lord must be
fweoled, for the help of these poor Heathen, if ever they were
delivered from the bondage of the powers of darkness. Spent
most of the time, while riding, in lifting up my hea^t for grace
and assistance. ^
June^. ^^ Spent the morning in reading several parts of the
h(dy scripture, and in fervent prayer for my Indians, that God
^^ould set up his kingdom among them, and bring them into his
^urch* About nine, I withdrew to my usual place of retire-
5^i^t in the woods ; and there again enjoyed some assistance
in |Nrayen My ffreat concern was for the conversion of the
Seathen to God ; and the Lord helped me to plead with him
for it Towards noon, rode up to the Indians, in order to
preach to them ; and, while going, my heart went up to God
in prayer for them ; could freely tell God, he knew that the
cause m which I was engaged was not mine ; but that it was
his own cause, and that it would be for his own glory to con-
vert the poor Indians : and blessed be God, I felt no desire of
their conversion, that I might receive honour from the world, as
beii^ the instrument of it. Had some freedom in speaking to
the Jjidians.^^
The next day, he speaks of some serious concern for the king-
dom of the blessed Redeemer ; but complains much of bar-
renness, wanderings, inactivity, &lc,
June 30. '^ My soul was very solemn in reading God^s word ;
especially the ninth chapter of Daniel. I saw how God had
Called out his servants to prayer, and made them wrestle with
him, when he design^ to bestow any great mercy on his church.
And) alas I I was ashamed of myself, to think of my dulness
%nd inactivi^,when there seemed to be so much to do for the up-
Hnfldnig of Zion. O how does Zion lie waste ! I longed, that the
church of God might be enlarged : was enabled to pray, I think, in
^&tth ; my soul seemed sensibly to confide in God, and was enabled
"•lo wrestle with him. Afterwards, walked abroad to a place f
Vol. X. IP
. •
146 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£&I».
sweet retirement, enjoyed some assistance in prayer, had a
sense of my great need of divine help, and felt my soul sensi-
bly depend on God. Blessed be God, this has been a com-
fortable week to me.
liord^s day^ July 1. ^^ In the morning, was perplexed with
wandering vain thoughts ; was much grieved, iudged and con-
demned myself before God. O how miserable did I feel, be-
cause I could not live to God ! At ten, rode away with a heavy
heart, to preach to my Indians. Upon the road I attempted to
lift up my heart to God ; but was infested with an unsettled
wandering frame of mind ; and was exceeding restless and
perplexed, and filled with shame and confusion before God. I
seemed to myself to be ^^ more brutish than any man ;^^ and
thought, none deserved to be " cast out of God^s presence^^
so much as 1. If I attempted to lift up my heart to God, as I
frequently did by the way, on a sudden, before I was aware,
my thoughts were wandering ^' to the ends of the earth ;^^ and
mv soul was filled with surprise and anxiety, to find it thus.
Thus also, after I came to the Indians, my mind wad-con-
fused; and I felt nothing sensibly of that sweet veliance
on God, with which my soul has been comforted in days
past. Spent the forenoon in this posture of mind, and
preached to the Indians \^ ithout any heart. In the afternoon I
felt still barren, when I began to preach ; andfor about half an
hour, I seemed to myself to know nothing, and to have nothm^
to say to the Indians ; but soon after, I found in myself a spirit
of love, and warmth, and power, to address the poor Indians ;
and God helped me to plead with them, to ^^ turn from all the
vanities of the Heathen, to the living God.^^ I am persuaded that
the Lord touched their consciences ; for I never saw such atten-
tion raised in theiu. When I came away from them, I spent the
whole time while I was riding to my lodgings, three miles distant,
in prayer and prtise to God. After I had rode more than two
miles, it came into my mind to dedicate myself to God again ;
which I did with great solemnity, and unspeakable satisfaction ;
especially gave up myself to him renewedly in the work of the
ministry. This I did by divine grace, I hope, without any excep-
tion or reserve ; not in the least shrinking back from any diffi-
culties that might attend this great and blessed work. I seemed
to be most free, cheerful, and full in this dedication of myselfl
My whole soul cried " Lord, to thee I dedicate myself! O accept
of me, and let me be thine forever. Lord, I desire nothing else ; I
desire nothing more. O come, come, Lord, accept a poor worm.
Whom have I in heaven but thee ? and there is none'upon ecarth
that I desire beside ^Aee." After this was enabled to praise G<xl
with my whole soul, that he had enabled me to devote and con-
secrate all my powers to him in this solemn manner. My heart
rejoiced in my particular work as a mmfonary; rejoiced in my ne-
MEMOIRS f)K I4KAr.\KHl). I-JT
cessity of self-denial in many respccls; and still continued to
give up myself to God, and implore mercy of him, praying in-
cessantly, every moment with sweet fervency. My nature being
very weak of late, and much spent, was now considerably
overcome : my fingers grew very feeble, and somewhat numb,
so that I could scarcely stretch them out straight ; and when I
lighted from my horse, could hardly walk ; my joints seemed all
to be loosed. But I felt abundant strength in the inner man.
Preached to the white people : God helped me much, especially
in prayer. Sundry of my poor Indians were so moved as to
come to meeting also ; and one appeared much concerned.
Julv 2. " Had some relish of the divine comforts of yester-
day ; but could not get that warmth and exercise of faith, which
I desired. Had sometimes a distressing sense of my past follies,
and present ignorance and barrenness : and especially in the
afternoon, was sunk down under a load of sin and guilt, in
that I had lived so little to God, after his abundant goodness
to me yesterday. In the evening, though very weak, was en-
abled to pray with fervency, and to coiftinue instant in prayer,
near an hour. My soul mourned over the power of its corrup-
tion, and longed exceedingly to be washed and purged as with
^ssop. Was enabled to pray for my dear absent friends,
dhrist^s ministers, and his church ; and enjoyed much freedom
and fervency, but not so much comfort, by reason of guilt and
shame before God. Judged and condemned myself for the
follies of the day.
Jvly 3. ^ Was still very weak. This morning, was cnablc<l
to pray under a feeling sense of my need of help from God, and,
I trust, had some faith in exercise ; and blessed oe God, was en-
abled to plead with him a considerable time. Truly God is
^ood to me. But my soul mourned, and was grieved at my
sinfiilness and barrenness, and longed to be -nore engaged for
God. Near nine, withdrew again for prayer i and through di-
vine goodness, had the blessed spirit of prayer; my soulloved
the mity, and longed for God in it. O it is sweet to be the
hordes J to be sensibly devoted to him ! What a blessed por-
tion is God ! How glorious, how lovely in himself! O my
soul longed to improve time wholly for God ! Spent most
of the day in translating prayers into Indian. — In the evening,
was enabled again to wrestle with God in prayer with fervency.
Was enabled to maintain a self-diffident and watchful frame
of spirit, in the evening, and was jealous and afraid lest I
should admit carelessness and self-confidence.'^
The next day^ he seems to have had special assistance and
fervency most of the day, but in a less degree than in the pre-
ceding day. Tuesday was s]>ent in great bodily weakness ;
yet seems to have been spent in continual di^ifress and grcnt
148 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD*
bitterness of spirit, iu consequence of his vileness and corrup-
tion. He says, '' I thought that there was not one creature
living so vile as I. O my inward pollution ! O my guilt and
shame before God I I know not what to do. O I longed ar-
dently to be' cleansed and washed from the stains of inward
pollution ; O, to be made like God, or rather to be made fit
for God to own !"
July 6. ^^ Awoke this morning in the fear of God : soon call-
ed to mind my sadness in the evening past ; and spent mjr fint
waking minutes in prayer for sanctification, that my soul mw
be wa^ed from its exceeding pollution and defilement. After 1
arose, I spent some time in reading God^s word, and in prayw.
I cried to God under a sense of my ^eat indigence. I anif of
late most of all concerned for ministerial qualifications, and
the conversion of the Heathen. Last year, I longed to.be
prepared for a world of glory, and speedily to depart out df
this world ; but of late all my concern almost is, for the con-
version of the Heathen ; and for that end I long to live. But
blessed be God, I have less desire to live for any of the plear
sures of the world, than I «ver had. I long and love to oe a
pilgrim ; and want grace to imitate the life, labours, and suflfer-
mgs of St. Paul among the Heathen. And when I long fior
hcHiness now, it is not so much for myself as formerly ; but ra-
ther that thereby I may become an ^^ able minister of the New
Testament,^^ especially to the Heathen. Spent about two
hours this morning in reading and prayer by turns ; and was
in a watchful tender frame, afraid of every thing that might
cool my affections, and draw away my heart from God. Was
a little strengthened in my studies ; but near night was very
weak and weary.
July 7. " Was very much disordered this morning, and my
vigour all spent and exhausted : but was affected and refreshed
in reading the sweet story of Elijah^s translation, and enjoyed
some affection and fervency in prayer : longed much for mi-
nisterial gifts and graces, that I might do something in the
cause of God. Afterwards was refreshed and invigorated,
while reading Alleine^s first Case of Conscience^ &c. and en-
abled then to pray with some ardour of soul, and was afraid of
carelessness and self-confidence, and longed for holiness.
Lord^s day^ July 8. " Was ill last night, not able to rest
quietly. Had some small degree of assistance in preaching to the
Indians ; and afterwards was enabled to preach to the white
people with some power, especially in the close of my discourse^
from Jer. iii. 23. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from tho
hillsy &c. The Lord also assisted me in some measure in the
first prayer ; blessed be his name. Near night, though venr
weary, was enabled to read God's word with some sweet relisiY^
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEHii. l49
of it, and to pray with affection, fervency, and I trust with
faith: my soul was more sensibly dependent on God than
usuaL Was watchful, tender, and jealous of my own heart,
lest I should admit carelessness and vain thoughts, and grieve
the blessed Spirit, so that he should withdraw his sweety kind,
and leiider influences. Longed to ^^ depart, and be with
Christ,^' more than at any time of late. My soul was ex-
ceedingly united to the saints of ancient times, as well as those
now living ; especially my soul melted for the society of Elijah
and Elisha. Was enabled to cry to God with a child-like spi*
cit, and to continue instant in prayer for some time. Was
much enlarged in the sweet duty of intercession ; was enabled
totemember ^at numbers of dear firiends, and precious souls,
ai well 80 Chnst^s ministers. Continued, in this frame, afraid
of every idle thought, till I dropped asleep.
July 9. ^^ Was under much illness of body most of the day ;
and not able to sit up the whole day. Towards night felt a
little better. Then spent some time in reading Gcd^s word
and prayer ; enjoyed some degree of fervency and affection ;
was enabled to plead with God for his cause and kingdom :
and, through divine goodness, it was apparent to me, that it
waa his cause I pleadra for, and not my own ; and was enabled
to make this an argument with God to answer my requests.
July 10. ^^ Was very ill and full of pain, and very dull and
spiritless. In the evening, had an affecting sense of my
Ignorance, and of my need of God at all times to do every
thing for me ; and my soul was humbled before God.
July 11. ^^ Was still exercised with illness and pain. Had
some degree of affection and warmth in prayer and reading
God^fl word ; longed for Abraham^s faith and fellowship with
God ; and felt some resolution to spend all my time for Grod,
and to exert myself with more fervency in his service ; but found
my body weak and feeble. In the afternoon, though very ill,
was enabled to spend' some considerable time in prayer ; sp^t,
indeed, most of the day in that exercise : and my soul was dif*
fident, watchful, and tender, lest I should offend my blessed
Friend, in thought or behaviour. I am persuaded that my soul
confided in, and leaned upon the blessed God. O, what need
did I see myself to stand in of God at all times, to assist me and
lead me ! Found a great want of strength and vigour, both
in the outward and inner man.^^
The exercises and experiences of which he speaks in the next
Tme day 8^ are very similar to those of the preceding days of this
and the foregoing week; a sense of his own weakness, ignorance,
improfitableness, and vileness ; loathing and abhorring himself;
self-diffidence ; sense of the greatness of his work, of his great
•loed of divine help*^ and the extreme danger of self-confidence -.
150 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
longing for holiness and humility, to be fitted for his work, and
to live to God, and for the conversion of the Indians ; and these
things to a very great degree.
July 21. '^ This morning, I was greatly oppressed with ^ilt
and shame, from a sense of inward vileness and pollution.
About nine, withdrew to the woods for prayer ; but had not
much comfort ; I appeared to myself the vilest, meanest crea-
ture upon earth, and could scarcely live with myself; so mean
and vile I appeared that I thought I should never be able to
hold up my face in heaven, if God of his infinite grace should
bring me thither. Towards night my burden respecting my
work among the Indians began to increase much ; and was ag-
gravated by hearing sundry things, which looked very discou-
raging ; in particular, that they mtended to meet tosether the
next day for an idolatrous feast and dance. Then i began Jo
be in anguish : I thought that I must in conscience go and en-
deavour to break them up ; yet knew not how to attempt such
a thing. However, I withdrew for prayer, hoping for strength
from above. In prayer 1 was exceedingly enlarged, and my
soul was as much drawn out as I ever remember it to have been
in my life. I was in such anguish, and pleaded with so much
earnestness and importunity, that when I rose from my knees I
felt extremely weak and overcome ; I could scarce walk straight;
my joints were loosed ; the sweat ran down my face and body ;
and nature seemed as if it would dissolve. So far as I could
judge, I was wholly free from selfish ends in my fervent sap-
plications for the poor Indians. I knew that they were ipet
together to worship devils, and not God : and this made me
cry earnestly, that God would now appear, and help me in my
attempts to break up this idolatrous meeting. My soul pleaded
long ; and I thought that God would hear, and would go with
me to vindicate his own cause ; I seemed to confide in God
for his presence and assistance. And thus I spent the evening,
prating incessantly for divine assistance, and that I might not he
self-dependent, but still have my whole dependence upon God.
What I passed through was remarkable, and indeed inexpres-
sible. All things here below vanished ; and there appeared to
be nothing of any considerable importance to me, but holiness
of heart and life and the conversion of the Heathen to God.
All my cares, fears, and desires, which might be said to be of
a worldly nature, disappeared ; and were, in my esteem, of little
more importance than a puff of wind. I exceedingly longed
that God would get to himself a name among the Heathen ;
and I appealed to him with the greatest freedom, that he knew
I " preferred him above my chief joy." Indeed, I had no no-
tion of joy from this world ; I cared not where or how 1 lived,
or what hardships I went through, so that I could but gain souls
M£MOIRS OF BRAINERD. 151
o Christ I continued in this frame all the evening and night.
iVhile I was asleep, I dreamed of these things ; and when I
iraked, (as I frequently did,) the first thing I thought of was
his great w^ork of pleading for God against Satan.
hordes day^ July 22. ^^ When I waked, my soul was burdened
vith what seemed to be before me. I cried to God, before I
20u]d get out of my bed ; and as soon as I was dressed, I with-
irew into the woods, to pour out my burdened soul to God,
especially for assistance in my great work ; for I could scarcely
thmk of any thing else. I enjoyed the same freedom and fer-
irency as the last evening ; and did with unspeakable freedom
g;ive up myself afresh to God, for life or deatn, for all hardships
bie should call me to among the Heathen ; and felt as if no-
thing could discourage me from this blessed work. I had a
strong hope that God would "bow the heavens and come
down,^^ and do some marvellous work among the Heathen.
While I was riding to the Indians — three miles, my heart was
continually going up to God for his presence and assistance ;
and hoping, and almost expecting, that God would make this
the day of his power and grace amongst the poor Indians.
When I came to them, I found them engaged in their frolic ;
but through divine goodness I persuaded them to desist and
attend to my preaching: yet still there appeared nothing of
the special power of God among them. Preached again to
them in the afternoon, and observed the Indians were more
sober than before ; but still saw nothing special among them.
Hence Satan took occasion to tempt and buffet me with these
cursed suggestions, There is no God, or if there be, he is not
able to convert the Indians, before they have more knowledge,
&c. I was very weak and weary, and my soul borne down
with perplexity ; but was mortified to all the world, and was
determined still to wait upon God for the conversion of the
Heathen, though the devil tempted me to the contrary.
JtUff 23. " Retained still a deep and pressing sense of what
lay with so much weight upon me yesterday; but was more
cdm and quiet. Enjoyed freedom and composure, after the
temptations of the last evening ; had sweet resignation to the
divine will ; and desired nothing so much as the conversion of
the Heathen to God, and that his kingdom might come in my
OWH heart, and the heart of others. Rode to a settlement of
Irish people, about fifteen miles south-westward; spent my
time m prayer and meditation by the way. Near night,
preached from Matt. v. 3. Blessed are the poor in spirit^ ^. —
God was pleased to afford me some degree of freedom and
fervency. Blessed be God for any measure of assistance.
July 24. " Rode about seventeen miles westward, over a
hideous mountain, to a number of Indians. Got together near
thnrty of them : preached to them in the evening, and lodged
152 MKMOIKS or BAAlNKRi;.
among them. — Was weak, and felt in some degree disconso-
late ; yet could have no freedom in the thought of any other
circumstances or business in life. All my desire was the con-
version of the Heathen ; and all my hope was in God. God
does not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of
seeing friends, returning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoy*
ing worldly comforts/^
The next day^ he preached to these Indians again; and dien
returned to the Ihsh settlement, and there preached to a na*
merous congregation. There was a considerable appearance
of awakening in the congreeation. Thursday he returned
home, exceedmgly fatigued and spent ; still in the same frame
of mortification to the world, and solicitous for the advance-
ment of Christ^s kingdom. On this day he writes thus : ^ I
have felt this week, more of the spirit of a pilgrm on earthy
than perhaps ever before ; and yet so desirous to see ZionV
prosperity, that I was not so willing to leave this scene of sor-
rows as I used to be.^^ — The two remaining days of the week,
he was very ill, and complains of wanderings, dulness, and
want of spiritual fervency and sweetness. On the S^Bbbatb,
be was confined by illness, not able to go out to preach. After
this, his ilfaiess increased upon him, and he continued very BI
all the week ; and says, that ^^ he thought he never before en-
dured such a season of distressing weakness ; that his nature
was so spent, that he could neither stand, sit, nor lie with any
quiet ; that he was exercised with extreme fkintness and sick-
ness at his stomach ; that his mind was as much disordered as
his body, seeming to be stupid, and without any kind of affec-
tions towards all objects, and yet perplexed, to think that he
lived for nothing ; that precious time rolled away and he could
do nothing but trifle : and that it was a season wherein SaHanr
buffeted him with some peculiar temptations. On Tuesday of
this week he wrote the following letter to an intimate and dear
friend. It indicates affections in no ordinary degree chastened
and spiritual.
•• Forks of Delaware^ July 31, 1744k
''-——Certainly the greatest, the noblest pleasure of mtelli-
Sent creatures must result from their acquaintance with the
lessed God, and with their own rational and inmiortal souls.
O, how divinely sweet and entertaining is it, to look into our
own souls, when we can find all our powers and passions united
and engaged in pursuit after God ; our whole souls lonmig
and passionately breathing after a conformity to him, and the
full enjoyment of him ! Verily no hours pass away with so
much divine pleasure, as those which are spent in communing
JII£MOlKS OF BRAINEKIi. ISA
^VIth God and our own hearts. O, how sweet is a spirit of de-
votion, a spirit of seriousness and divine solemnity, a spirit of
gospel simplicity, love and tenderness ! O, how desirable, and
how profitable to the christian life, is a spirit of holy watchful-
ness, and godl^ jealousy over ourselves ; when our souls are
afraid of nothing so much as that we shall grieve and offend
the blessed God, whom at such times we apprehend, or at
least hope, to be a Father and Friend ; whom we then love
and long to please^ rather than to be happy ourselves ; or at
least we delight to derive our happiness /rom pleasing and glo-
rifying him I Surely this is a pious temper, worthy of the high-
est ambition and closest pursuit of intelligent creatures and
holy Christians. O, how vastly superior are the pleasure,
peace, and satisfaction derived from these divine frames, to
that which we, alas ! sometimes pursue in things impertinent
and trifling I Our own bitter experience teaches us, that ^' in
the midst of such laughter the heart is sorrowful,^^ and there is
no true satisfaction but in God. But, alas ! how shall we ob-
tain and retain this sweet spirit of religion and devotion ? Let
us follow the apostle^s direction, Phil. ii. 12. and labour upon
the encouragement which he there mentions, ver. 13. for it is
God only can afford us this favour ; and he will be sought to^
and it is fit we should wait upon him for so rich a mercy. O,
may the God of all grace afford us the grace and influences of
* his divine Spirit ; and help us that we may from oiir hearts es-
teem it our greatest liberty and happiness, that ^^ whether we
live, we may live to the Lord, or whether we die, we may die
to the Lord f ^ that in life and deaths we may be his /
" I am in a very poor state of health ; I think, scarce ever
poorer : buf, through divine goodness, I am not discontented
under my weakness, and confinement to this wilderness. I bless
Grod for this retirement ; I never was more thankful for any
thing, than I have been of late for the necessity I am under of
selMenial in many respects. I love to be a pilgrim and
stranger in this wilderness ; it seems most fit for such a poor,
ignorant, worthless, despised creature as I. I would not change
my present mission for any other business in the whole world.
I may tell you fi'eely, without vanity and ostentation, God has
of late given me great freedom and fervency in prayer, when I
have been so weeuc and feeble that my nature seemed as if it
ivould speedily dissolve. I feel as if my all was lost, and I was
undone for this world, if the poor Heathen may not be convert-
ed. I feel, in general, different from what I did, when I saw
you last ; at least more crucijied to all the enjoyments of life.
It would be very refreshing to me to see you here in this desert ;
especially in my weak disconsolate hours ; but, I think, I could
be content never to see vou, or any of mv friends again in this
Vol. X. ^ " 20
154 Ml::MOIRb OF UKAINEKIJ.
world, it' God would bless my labours here to the coiivertfiuu ol'
the poor Indians.
'^1 have much that I could willingly communicate to you.
which I must omit till Providence gives us leave to see each
other. In the mean-time, I rest
" Your obliged friend and servant,
" David Brainerd. ' '
Concerning the next Jive days he writes thus : " Lard'*s day,
August 5, was still very poor. But, though very weak, I visited
and preached to the poor Indians twice, and was strengthened
vastly beyond my expectations. Indeed, the Lord gave me some
freedom and fervency in addressing them ; though 1 had not
strength enough to stand, but was obliged to sit down the whole
time. Towards night, was extremely weak, faint, sick, and fiiU
of pain. I have continued much m the same state I was in
last week, through most of this, (it being now Friday,) unable
to engage in any business ; frequently unable to pray in the
family. I am obliged to let all my thoughts and concerns run
at random ; for I have not strength to read, meditate, or pray :
and this naturally perplexes my mind. I seiem to myself like a
man that has all his estate embarked in one small boat, un*
happily going adrift, down a swil't torrent. The poor owner
stands on the shore, and looks, and laments his loss ^But,
alas ! though my all seems to be adrift, and I stand and see it,
1 dare not lament ; for this sinks my spirits more, and aggra-
vates my bodily disorders ! I am forced therefore to divert my-
self with trifles; although at the same time I am afraid, and
oflen feel as if I was guilty of the misimprovement of time.
And oftentimes my conscience is so exercised, with this misera-
ble way of spending time, that I have no peace ; though I have
no strength of mind or body to improve it to better purpose.
O that God would pity my distressed state !"
The next three weeks^ his illness was less severe ; and he was
in some degree capable of business, both public and private ;
though ho had some turns wherein his indisposition prevailed
to a great degree. He had generally also much more inward
assistance, and strength of mind. He often expresses great
longings for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, especially
by the conversion of the heathen to God ; and speaks of this
hope as all his delight and joy. He continues still to express
his usual desires auer holiness, living to God, and a sen^ of
his own unworthiness. He several times speaks of his appear-
ing to himself the vilest creature on earth ; and once saySi
that he verily thought there were none of God's children, who
fell so far short of that holiness, and perfection in their obedi-
ence, which God requires, as he. He speaks of his feeling
more dead than ever to the enjoyment? of the world. He
XiiMOlRft <»F iiRAI^EttU. 155
sometimes mentions the special .ifssistance which he had af
this time, in preaching to the Indians, and the appearances of
religious concern among them. He specd^s also of assistance
in prayer for absent friends, and especially ministers and can-
fiidates for the ministry ; and of much comfort which he en-
joyed in the company of some ministers who came to visit
him.
SqfU 1. ^^ Was so far strengthened, after a season of great
'weakness, that I was able to spend two or three hours in
ivriting on a divine subject. Enjoyed some comfort and sweet-
ness in things divine and sacred ; and as my bodily strength
was in some measure restored, so my soul seemed to be some-
what vigorous, and engaged in the things of God.
Lord's day^ S^U 2. " Was enabled to speak to Aiy poor
Indians with much concern and fervency ; and I am persuaded.
that God enabled me to exercise faith in him, while I was
speaking to them. I perceived that some of them were afraid
to hearken to and embrace Christianity^ lest they should be
enchanted and poisoned by some of the powaws : but I was
enabled to plead with them not to fear these ; and, confiding
in God for safety and deliverance, I bid a challenge to an
these powers of darkness^ to do their worst on me first. I told
my people that I was a Christian^ and asked them why the
powaws did not bewitch and poison me. I scarcely ever felt
more sensible of my own unworthiness, than in this action. I
saw that the honour of God was concerned in the affair ; and
desired to be preserved — not from selfish views, but — ^for a
testimony of the divine power and goodness, and of the truth
of Christianity, and that God might be glorified. Afterwards,
I found my soul rejoice in God for his assisting grace.^^
After this, he went a journey into New-England, and was
absent from the place of his abode, at the Forks of Delaware,
about three weeks. He was in a feeble state the greater part
of the time. But in the latter part of the journey, he found
that he gained much in health and strength. As to the state
of his mmd, and his religious and spiritual exercises, it was
macfa with him as usual in his journeys ; excepting that tlie
frame of his mind seemed more generally to be comfortable.
Biat yet there are complaints of some uncomfortable seasons,
want of fervency, and want of retirements, and time alone
with God. In his journey, ho did not forget the Indians ; but
once and again speaks of his longing for their conversion.
Sept. 26. " Rode home to the Forks of Delaware. What
reason have I to bless God, who has preserved me in riding
fflore than four hundred and twenty miles, and has " kept all
156 MEMOIR.^ or BRAINERD.
my bones, that not one of them has been broken !" My health
likewise is greatly recovered. O that I could dedicate my all
to God ! This is all the return 1 can make to him.
Sept. 27. " Was somewhat melancholy ; had not much free-
dom and comfort in prayer : my soul is disconsolate when God
is withdrawn. «
Sept. 28. " Spent the day in jprayer, reading, and writing.
Felt some small degree of warmth in prayer, and some desires
of the enlargement of Christ's kingdom by the conversion of
the Heathen, and that God would make me a " chosen vessel,
to bear his name before them ;'^ longed for grace to enable me
to be faithful."
The next daxj^ he speaks of the same earnest desires for the
advancement of Christ's kingdom, and the conversion of the
Indians ; but complains greatly of the ill effects of the diver-
sions of his late journey, as unnxing his mind from that degree
of engagedness, fervency, and watchfulness, which he enjoyed
before. The like complaints are continued the day after.
Oct, 1. " Was engaged this day in making preparations for
my intended journey to the Susquehannah. Withdrew several
times to the woods for secret duties, and endeavoured to plead
for the divine presence to eo with me to the poor Paeans, to
^vhom I was gomg to preach the gospel. Towards night rode
about four miles, and met brother Byram ;* who was come, at
my desire, to be my companion in travel to the Indians. I re-
joiced to see him ; and, I trust, God made his conversation pro-
fitable to me. I saw him, as I thought more dead to the world,
its anxious cares, and alluring objects, than I was : and this
made me look within myself, and gave me a greater sense of
my guilt, ingratitude, and misery.
Oct. 2. " Set out on my journey, in company with dear bro-
ther Byram, and my interpreter, and two chief Indians from die
Forks of Delaware. Travelled about twenty five miles, and
lodged in one of the last houses on our road ; afler which there
was nothing but a hideous and howling wilderness.
Oct 3. "We went on our way into the wilderness, and found
the most difHcult and dangerous travelling, by far, that ever any
of us had seen. We had scarce any thing else but lofly moun-
tains, deep valleys, and hideous rocks, to make our way througL
However, I felt some sweetness in divine things, part of the day,
and had my mind intensely engaged in meditation on a divine
subject. Near night, my beast on which I rode, hung one o£
* Minister at a place called RotkHHnts, about forty miles from BRAlWER^'^fi
lodging.
MEMOIRS OP BRAINERD. 157
lier legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ; but through di-
vine soodness, 1 was not hurt. However, she broke her leg ;
and being in such a hideous place, and near thirty miles from
any house, I saw nothing that could be done to preserve her
life, and so was obliged to kill her, and to prosecute my journey
on foot. This accident made me admire the divine goodness
to me, that my bones wef^e not broken, and the multitude of
them filled with strong pain. Just at dark, we kindled a fire,
cut up a few bushes, and made a shelter over our heads, to save
us from the frost, which was very hard that night ; and com-
mitting ourselves to God by prayer, we lay down on the ground,
and slept quietly.^^
The next day, they went forward on their journey, and at
4Ciight took up their lodgings in the woods in like manner.
Oct, 5. "We reached the Susquehannah river, at a place
called Opekolhaupung, and found there twelve Indian houses.
After I had saluted the king in a friendly manner, I told him my
business, and that my desire was to teach them Christianity. Al-
ter some consultation, the Indians gathered, and I preached to
them. And when I had done, I asked if they would hear me
Xin. They replied, that they would consider of it ; and soon
r sent me word, that they would immediately attend, if 1
would preach : which I did, with freedom, both times. When
I asked them again, whether they would hear me further, they
replied, they would the next day. I was exceeding sensible
of the impossibility of doing any thing for the poor Heathen
without special assistance from above ; and my soul seemed to
rest on God, and leave it to him to do as he pleased in that
which I saw was his own cause. Indeed, through divine good-
ness, I had felt somewhat of this frame most of the time while I
was travelling thither, and in some measure before I set out.
Oct. 6. " Rose early and besought the Lord for help in my
great work. Near noon, preached again to the Indians ;• and
in the afternoon, visited them from house to house, and invited
them to come and hear me again the next day, and put off
their hunting design, which they were just entering upon, till
Monday. " This night," I trust, " the Lord stood by me," to
encourage and strengthen my soul : I spent more than an hour
in secret retirement ; was enabled to " pour out my heart before
God,'' for the increase of grace in my soul, for ministerial en-
dowments, for success among the poor Indians, for God's mi-
nisters and people, for distant dear friends, &c. Blessed be
God:'
The next day^ he complains of great want of fixedness and
intenseness in religion, so that he could not keep any spintual
158 MEMOIRS OF BRA1X£RD.
thought one minute without distraction ; which occasioned
anguish of spirit. He felt amazingly guilty ^ and extremdy
nUterable ; and cries out, ^^ O, my soul, what death it is, to have
the affections unable to centre in God, by reason of darkness,
and consequent roving after that satisfaction elsewhere, that is
only to be found here !" However, he preached twice to the
Indians with considerable freedom and power ; but was after-
wards damped by the objections they made against ChristianUy.
In the evening, m a sense of his great defects in preaching, he
** intreated God not to impute to him blood-guiltiness ;" but yet
was at the same time enabled to rejoice in God.
Oct. 8. " Visited the Indians with a design to take my leave
of them, supposing they would this morning go out to hunting
early ; but beyoncTmy expectation and hope, they desired to
hear me preach again. I gladly complied with their request,
and afterwards endeavoured to answer their objections against
Christianity. Then they went away ; and we spent the rest of
the afternoon in reading and prayer, intending to go home-
ward very early the next day. My soul was in some measure
refreshed in secret prayer and meditation. Blessed be the Lord
for all his goodness.
Oct. 9. " We rose about four in the morning, and, com-
mending ourselves to God by prayer, and ieisking his special
protection, we set out on our journey homewards about five,
and travelled with great steadiness till past six at night ; and
then made us a fire, and a shelter of barks, and so rested. I
had some clear and comfortable thoughts on a divine subject,
by the way, towards night. In the night, the wolves howled
around us ; but God preserved us.''
The next day^ they rose early, and set forward, and travelled
that day till they came to an Irish settlement, with which
Brainerd was acquainted, and lodged there. He speaks of
some sweetness in divine things, and thankfulness to QoA .for
his goodness to him in this journey, though attended with
shame for his barrenness. On Thursday^ he continued in the
same place; and both he and Mr. Byram preached there to
the people.
Oct. 12. " Rode home to my lodgings ; where I poured out
my soul to God in secret prayer, and endeavoured to bless
him for his abundant goodness to me in my late journey.
I scarcely ever enjoyed more health, at least of later years ; and
God marvellously, and almost miraculously, supported me un-
der the fatigues of the way, and travelling on foot. Blessed
be the Lord, who continually preserves me in all my ways.''
MEMOIKb OF BRAINERD. 159
On Saturday^ he went ogain to the Irish settlement, to spend
the Sabbath there, his Indians being gone.
JLard^s day^ Oct. 14. '^ Was much confused and perplexed
in m^ thoughts ; could not pray ; and was almost discouraffed,
thinking I should never be able to preach any more. AAer-
wards, God was pleased to give me some relief from these con-
fusions ; but still I was afraid, and even troubled before God,
I went to the place of public worship, lifting up my heart to
God for assistance and grace, in my great work : and God was
gracious to me, helping me to plead with him for holiness, and
to use the strongest arguments with him, drawn from the in-
carnation and sufferings of Christ for this very end, that men
might be made holy. Afterwards, I was much assisted in
preaching. I know not that ever God helped me to preach in
a more close and distinguishing manner for the trial of men^s
state. Through the infinite goodness of God, I felt what I
spoke ; he enabled me to treat on divine truth with uncommon
clearness ; and yet I was so sensible of my defects in preach*
ing, that I could not be proud of my performance, as at some
times ; and blessed be the Lord for this mercy. In the evening
I longed to be entirely alone, to bless God for help in a time
of extremity ; and longed for great degrees of holiness, that I
might show my gratitude to God."
The next mommg^ he spent some time before sun-rise in
prayer, in the same sweet and grateful frame of mind, that he
hadf been in the evening before ; and, afterwards, went to his
Indians, and spent some time in teaching and exhorting them.
Oct. 16. " Felt a spirit of solemnity and watchfulness ; vvas
afraid I should not live to and upon God : longed for more in*
tenseness and spirituality. Spent the day in writing ; frequently
lifting up my heart to God for more heavenly mindedness. In
the evening, enjoyed sweet assistance in prayer ; thirsted and
pleaded to be as holy as the blessed angels ; longed for minis*
terial gifts and graces, and success in my work ; was sweetly
assisted in the duty of intercession ; and enabled to remember
and plead for numbers of dear friends, and of Christ's minis-
ters."
He seemed to have much of the same frame of mind the two
next days.
Oct. 19. " Felt an abasing sense of my own impurity and
unholiness ; and felt my soul melt and mourn, that I had abused
and grieved a very gracious God, who was still kind to me, not-
withstanding all my unworthiness. My soul enjoyed a sweet
lAO MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Beason of bitter repentance and sorrow, that I had wronged
that blessed God, who, I was persuaded, was reconciled to me
in his dear Son. My soul was now tender, devout, and solemn.
And I was afraid of nothing but sin ; and afraid of that in eveiy
action and thought."
The fimr next days^ were manifestly spent in a most constant
tenderness, watchfulness, diligence, and selfdiffidence. But
he complains of wanderings of mind, languor of affections, &c.
Oct. 24. " Near noon, rode to my people; spent some time
and prayed with them : felt the frame of a pilgrim on earth;
longed much to leave this gloomy mansion; but yet found the
exercise of patience and resignation. And, as I returned home
from the Indians, spent the whole time in lifting up my heart to
God. In the evening, enjoyed a blessed season alone in prayer ;
was enabled to cry to God with a child-like spirit, for the space
of near an hour ; enjoyed a sweet freedom in supplicating for
myself, for dear friends, ministers, and some who are preparing
for that work, and for the church of God ; and longed to be as
lively myself in God^s service as the angels.
Oct. 25. " Was busy in writing. Was very sensible of my
absolute dependence on God in all respects ; saw that I could
do nothing, even in those affairs for which i have sufficient
natural faculties, unless God should smile upon my attempt.
" Not that we are sufficient of ourselves, to think any thing, as
of ourselves," I saw was a sacred truth.
Oct. 26. " In the morning, my soul was melted with a sense
of divine goodness and mercy to such a vile unworthy worm. I
delighted to lean upon God, and place my whole trust in him.
My soul was exceedingly grieved for sin, and prized, and longed
after holiness ; it wounded my heart deeply, yet sweetly, to
think how I had abused a kind God. I longed to be perfectly
holy, that I might not grieve a gracious God ; who will con-
tinue to love, notwithstanding his love is abused ! I longed for
holiness more for this end, than I did for my own happiness*
sake : and yet this was my greatest happiness, never more to
dishonour, but always to glorify the blessed God. Afterwards,
rode up to the Indians, in the afternoon, i&c."
The four next days^ he was exercised with much disorder
and pain of body, with a degree of melancholy and gloominess
of mind, bitterly complaining of deadness and unprofitable-
ness, yet mourning and longing after God.
Oct. 31. " Was sensible of my barrenness and decays in the
things of God : my soul failed when I remembered the fer-
vency which I had enjoyed at the throne of grace. O, I
M£M0IK5 OF BRAINERD. lljl
thought, if 1 could but be spiritual, warm, heavcii]y-iiiin(led,"and
affectionately breathing after God, this would be better than
life to me ! My soul longed exceedingly for death, to be loosed
firom this dulness and barrenness, and made for ever active in
the service of God. . I seemed to live for nothing, and to do
no ffood : and O, the burden of such a hfc ! O death, death,
my Idnd friend, hasten, and deliver me from dull mortality, and
make me spiritual and vigorous to eternity !
Nov. 1. " Had but little sweetness in divine things ; but
afterwards, in the evening, felt some life, and longings after
Grod. I longed to be always solemn, devout, and heavenly-
minded ; and was afraid to leave off praying, lest I should
again lose a sense of the sweet things of God.
Ncv. 2. " Was filled with sorrow and confusion in tlie
morning, and could enjoy no sweet sense of divine things, nor
S9t any relief in prayer. Saw I deserved that every one of
od^ creatures should be let loose, to be the executioners of
his wrath against me ; and yet therein saw I deserved what I
did. not {ear as my portion. About noon, rode up to the
Indians ; and while going, could feel no desires for them, and
even dreaded to say any thing to them ; but God was pleased
to give me some freedom and enlargement, and made the sea-
son comfortable to me. In the evening, had enlargement in
prayer. But, alas ! what comforts and enlargements I have
fiblt for these many weeks past have been only transient and
short ; and the greater part of my time has been filled up with
deadness, or struggles with deadness, and bitter conflicts with
corruption. I have found myself exercised sorely with some
particular things that I thought myself most of all freed from.
And thus I have ever found it, — when I have thought the battle
was over, and the conquest gained, and so let down my watch,
the enemy has risen up and done me the greatest injury.
Nov. 3. " I read the life and trials of a godly man, and
was much warmed by it : I wondered at my past deadness ;
and was more convinced of it than ever. Was enabled to
confess and bewail my sin before God, with self-abhorrence.
Lord's day^ Nov. 4. " Had, I think, some exercise of faith
in prayer, in the morning : longed to be spiritual. Had con-
siderable help in preaching to my poor Indians : was encour-
aged with them, and hoped that God designed mercy for
them.''
The next day, Nov. 5, he concluded the following letter to
IUv..Mr. Pemberton, of New York, giving an account of his
labours, and success, both at Kaunaumeek and at the Forks of
Delaware.
Vol. X. 21
TO THE REV. EBENEZER PEMBERTON.
'* Forks of Delaware^ Nov. 5, 1744.
" Rev. SrR,
^' Since you are pleased to require of me some brief and
general account of my conduct in the affair of my mission
among the Indians ; the pains and endeavours I have used Up
propagate Christian knowledge among them ; the difficulties 1
have met with in pursuance of that sreat work ; and the hope*
ful and encouragmg appearances I have observed in any of
them; I shall now endeavour to answer your demands, by
giving a brief but faithful account of the most material tUngv
relating to that important affair, with which I have bee^mnd
am stiU concerned. This I shall do with more fireedoib and
cheerfiilness, both because I apprehend it will be af lil^ely
means to give pious persons, who are concerned for the king-
dom of Christ, some just apprehension of the many and great
difficulties that attend the propagation of it among the poor
Pagans ; and consequently, it is hoped, will engage their move
frequent and fervent prayers to God, that those may be succeed-
ed, who are employed m this arduous work. Besides, I per-^
suade myself, that the tidings of the gospel spreading among
the poor Heathen, will be, to those who are waiting for the
accomplishment of the " glorious things spoken of the eity of
our God,'^ as ^' good news from a far country ;^^ and that mew
will be so far from ^' despising the day of small things,^' that, oa
the contrary, the least dawn of encouragement and hope, ia
this important affair, will rather inspire their pious breast^ with
more generous and warm desires, that ^^ the kingdoms of this
world, may speedily become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of
his Christ." — I shall therefore immediately proceed to the bu-
siness before me, and briefly touch upon the most important
matters that have concerned my mission, from the beginning to
this present time.
" On March 15, 1743, I waited on the Correspondents for
the Indian mission at New York ; and the week following,
attended their meeting at Woodbridge, in 'New Jersey, and
was speedily dismissed Inr them with orders to attempt the in-
struction of*^ a number of Indians in a place some miles distant
from the city of Albany. And on the first day of April follow-
ing, I arrived among the Indians, at a place called by them
Kaunaumeek^ in the county of Albany, nearly twenty miles
distant from the city eastward.
^^ The. place, as to its situation, was sufHciently lonesome and
unpleasant, being encompassed with mountains and woods ;
twenty miles distant from any English inhabitants; six or
seven from any Dutch ; and more than two from a family that
came some time since, from the Highlands of Scotland, and
MEMOIRS or J3HAK\LK1». 1(K]
had then lived, as I remember, about two years in this wilder
ness. In this family I lodged about the space of three months.
the master of it being the only person with whom I could
readily converse in those parts, except my interpreter ; others
understanding very little English.
*^ After I had spent about three months in this situation, 1
found my distance from the Indians a very great disadvantage
to my work among them, and very burdensome to myself; as
I was obliged to travel forward and backward almost daily on
foot, having no pasture in which I could keep my horse for
that purpose. And after all my pains, could not be with the
Indians in the evening and morning, which were usually the
best hours to find them at home, and when they could best at-
tend my instructions. — I therefore resolved to remove, and live
with or near the Indians, that I might watch all opportunities,
when they were generally at home, and take the advantage of
such seasons for their instructions.
" Accordingly I removed soon after ; and, for some time,
lived with them in one of their wigwams ; and, not long after,
buih me a small house, where I spent the remainder of that
year entirely alone ; my interpreter, who was an Indian, choos-
j^ rather to live in a wigwam among his own countirmen. —
This way of living I found attended with many difficulties.
«uid uncomfortable circumstances, in a place where I could
get none of the necessaries and common comforts of life, (no.
not so much as a morsel of bread,) but what I brought from
places fifteen and twenty miles distant, and oftentimes was
obliged, for some time together, to content myself without, for
want of an opportunity to procure the things I needed.
** But although the difficulties of this solitary way of living
are not the least, or most inconsiderable, (and doubtless are,
ia fact, many more and greater to those who experience^ than
they ean readily appear to those who only view them at a dis-
tance,) yet I can truly say that the burden I felt respecting mjr
greai work among the poor Indians, the fear and concern that
continually hung upon my spirit, lest tliey should be prejudiced
against Christianity, and their minds imbittered against me,
and my labours among them by means of the insinuations of
some who, although they are called Christians^ seem to have no
concern for Christ^s kingdom, but had rather (as their conduct
plainly discovers) that the Indians should remain Heathens, that
they may with the more ease cheat, and so enrich themselves by
them — ^were much more pressing to me, than all the difficulties
that attended the circumstances of my living.
** As to the state or temper of mind in which I found these
Indians, at my first coming among them, I may justly say, it
was much more desirable and encouraging, than what appears
among those who are altogether unrnltivated. Their Heathen-
1(>1 MEMOIRS 'ur BRAKVLHU.
ish jealousies and suHpicioii, and tlieir prejudices againat
Cliristiauily, were in. a great measure removed by the long-
continued labours of the Reverend Mr. Sargeant Biaong a
number of tlie same tribe, in a place little more than tweatf
miles distant. Hence, tliese were, in some good degree, i»o-
pared to entertain the truths of Christianity', inst^aMi of ob-
jecting against them, and appearing almost entirely untracta-
ble, as is common with them at first, and as, perhaps, these
appeared a few years ago. Some of them, at least, appeared
very well disposed towards religion, and seemed much pleased.
with my coming among them.
^^In my labours with tliem, in order to ^^tum them firom
darkness to light,^^ I studied what was most plain and eoijf,
and best suited to their capacities ; and endeavoured to set be-
fore them from time to time, as they were able to receive them,
the most important and necessary truths of Christianity; such
as most immediately concerned their speedy conversion to God,
and such as I judged had the greatest tendency, as means, to
effect that glorious change in them. But especially I maide it
the scope and drift of all my labours, to lead them into a
thorough acquaintance with these two things. — Firsts The sm-
fulness aiid misery of the estate they were naturally in; the
evil of their hearts, the pollution of their natures ; the heavy
guilt they were under, and their exposedness to everlasting pun-
ishment; as also their utter inability to save themselves, either
from their sins, or from those miseries which are the just pun-
ishment of them ; and their unworthiness of any mercy at the
hand of God, on account of any thing they themselves could
do to procure his favour, and consequently their extreme need
of Christ to save them. And, secondly^ I frequently endea-
voured to open to them the fulness^ all-sufficiency^ Bndfreene$9^
of that redemption^ which the Son of God has wrought out by
his obedience and sufferings, for perishing sinners : how tbifi
Provision he had made, was suited to all their wants ; and how
e called and invited them to accept of everlasting life fireely,
notwithstanding all their sinfulness, inability, unworthiness, &jo.
" After I had been with the Indians several months, I com-
posed sundry forms of prayer^ adapted to their circumstances
and capacities ; which, with the help of my interpreter, I trans-
lated into the Indian language ; and soon learned to pronounce
their words, so as to pray with them in their own tongue, I
also translated sundry psalms into their language, and soon
after we were able to sing in the worship of God.
" When my people had gained some acquaintance witli
many of the truths of Christianity, so that they were capable
of receiving and understanding many others, which at first
could not be taught them, by reason of their ignorance of
those that were necessary to be previously known, and upon
MEMOfR.S OF BRAINERD. 163
^^Kich Others depentled ; I then gave them an historical
'^count of God's deahngs with his ancient professing people
^^ Jews ; some of the rites and ceremonies they were obliged
^^ observe, as their sacrifices, &c. ; and what these were de-
igned to represent to them : as also some of the suiprising
^^inracles God wrought for their salvation, while they trusted in
liiiD, and sore punishments he sometimes brought upon them,
when they forsook and sinned against him. Afterwards I pro-
ceeded to give them a relation of the birth, life, miracles, suf-
ferings, death, and resurrection of Christ ; as well as his ascen-
sion, and the wonderful effusion of the holy Spirit consequent
thereupon.
** And having thus endeavoured to prepare the way by such
a general account of things, I- next proceeded to read and ex-
pound to them the gospel of St. Matthew (at least the sub-
stance of it^ in course, wherein they had a more distinct and
particular view of what they had before some general notion. —
These expositions I attended almost every evenings when there
was any considerable number of them at home ; except when
I was obliged to be absent myself, in order to learn the Indian
lan^age with the Rev. Mr. Sargeant. Besides these means
of mstruction, there was likewise an English scAooZ constantly
kept by my interpreter among the Indians ; which I used fre-
quently to visit, in order to give the children and young peo-
ple some proper instructions, and serious exhortations suited to
their age.
The degree of knowledge to which some of them attained,
was considerable. Many of the truths of Christianity seemed
fixed in their minds, especially in some instances, so that they
would speak to me of them, and ask such questions about
them, as were necessary to render them more plain and clear
to their understandings — The children, also, and young people,
who attended the school^ made considerable proficiency (at
least some of them) in their learning ; so that had they under-
stood the English language well, they would have been able to
read somewhat readily in a psalter.
^ But that which was most of all desirable, and gave me the
greatest encouragement amidst many difficulties and disconso-
uite hours, was, that the truths of God^s word seemed, at times,
to be attended with some power upon the hearts and con-
sciences of the Indians. And especially this appeared evident
in a few instances, who were awakened to some sense of their
miserable estate by nature, and appeared solicitous for deliver-
ance firom it. Several of them came, of their own accord, to
discourse with me about their souls' concerns ; and some, with
tears, inquired " what they should do to be saved ?" and whether
the God that Christians served, would be merciful to those
that had been frequently drunk, &c.
166 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERU.
^*- And although I cannot say that I liave satisfactory evidcHces
of their being ^^ renewed in the spirit of their mind,^' and aa^
vingly converted to God ; yet the spirit of God did, I api^e-
hend, in such a manner attend the means of grace, and so ope-
rate upon their minds thereby, as might justly afford matter of
encouragement, to hope that God designed good to them, and
that he was preparing his way into their souls.
*^ There likewise appeared a reformation in the lives and
manners of the Indians. — Their idolatrous sacrifices (of which
there was but one or two, that I know of, after my comings
among them) were wholly laid aside. And their heathenbn
custom of dancings hallooing^ i&c, they seemed in a consider-
able measure to have abandoned. And I could not but hope,
that they were reformed in some measure from the sin of drunh
enness. They likewise manifested a regard for the Lord^s day%
and not only behaved soberly themselves, but took care ajlso to
keep their children in order.
^^ Yet, after all, I must confess, that as there were many hope-
ful appearances among them, so there were some things more
discouraging. And while I rejoiced to observe an^ senousnen
and concern among them about the affairs of their souk, still
I was not without continual fear and concern, lest such en-
couraging appearances might prove ^^ like a morning cloud,
that passeth away."
" When I had spent near a year with the Indians, I in-
formed them that I expected to leave them in the spring then
approaching, and to be sent to another tribe of Indians, at a
great distance from them. On hearing this, they appeared
very sorrowful, and some of them endeavoured to persuade me
to continue with them ; urging that they had now heard so
much about their souls'' concerns^ that they could never more
be willing to live as they had done, without a minister^ and fur-
ther instructions in the way to heaven, &c. Whereupon I told
them, they ought to be willing that others also should hear
about their souls^ concerns, seeing those needed it as much as
themselves. Yet furthet to dissuade me from going, they add-
ed, that those Indians, to whom I had thoughts of going (as
they had heard) were not willing to become Christidns as they
were, and therefore urged me to tarry with them. I then told
them, that they might receive further instruction without me ;
but the Indians to whom I expected to be sent, could not, there
being no minister near to teach them. And hereupon I advised
them in case I should leave them, and be sent elsewhere, to
remove to Stockbridge, where they might be supplied with
land, and conveniences of living, and be under the ministry
of the Rev. Mr. Sargeant : with which advice and proposal,
they seemed disposed to comply.
" On April 6. 1744, I was ordered and directed bv the cor-
JiLMUlRa OF BRAIN£KD. 167
^^^l^oiidcnls for the Indian mission, to take leave ot' the people,
^^^th whom 1 had then spent a full year, and to go, as soon as
?^^veniently I could, to a tribe of Indians on Delaware river
^ Pennsylvania.
** These orders I soon attended, and on April 29th took leave
^f my people, who were mostly removed to Stockbridge under
the care of the Rev. Mr. Sargeant. I then set out on my jour-
ney towards Delaware ; and on May 10th met with a number
of Indians in a place called Miunissinks^ about a hundred and
forty miles from Kaunaumeek^ (the place where I spent
the last year,) and directly in my way to Delaware river.
With these Indians I spent some time, and first addressed their
king in a friendly manner ; and after some discourse, and at-
tempts to contract a friendship with him, I told him I had a
desire (for his benefit and happiness) to instruct them in ChriS'
tianiltf. At which he laughed, turned his back upon me, and
went away. I then addressed another principal man in the
same manner, who said he was willing to hear me. Afler
some time, 1 followed the kuig into his house, and renewed
nay discourse to him : but he declined talking, and left the
affair to another, who appeared to be a rational man. He
began, and talked very warmly near a quarter of an hour to*
gether: he inc^uired why I desired the Indians to become
Christians^ seemg the Christians were so much worse than
the Indians are in their present state. The Christians, he said,
would lie, steal, and drink, worse than the Indians. It was
they first taught the Indians to be drunk : and they stole from
one another, to that degree, that their rulers were obliged to
hang them for it, and that was not sufficient to deter others
from the like practice. But the Indians, he added, were none
of them ever hanged for stealing, and yet they did not steal
half so much ; and he supposed that if the Indians should be-
come Christians, they would then be as bad as these. And
hereupon he said, they would live as their fathers lived, and
go where their fathers were when they died. I then freelv
awnedj lamented and joined with him in condemning the ill
conduct of some who are called Christians : told him,, these
were not Christians in heart ; that I hated such wicked prac-
tices, and did not desire the Indians to become such as these.
— And when he appeared calmer, I asked him if he was willing
that I should come and see them again ? He replied, he
should be willing to sec mo a^ain, as a friend^ if I would not
deaire them to become Christians. — I then bid them farewelli
and prosecuted my journey towards Delaware. And May 13th,
I arrived at a place called by the Indians Sakhauwotung^
within the Forks of Delaware in Pennsylvania.
" Here also, when I came to the Indians, I saluted their
^iTig*, and others, in a manner I thought most engaging. And
168 y' MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
soon after informed the king of my desire to instruct them in
the Christian religion. After he had consuhed a few minutesf :
with two or three old men, he told me he was willing to hear. .
I then preached to those few that were present ; who appeared J
very 'attentive and well disposed. And the king in particular 'a
seemed both to wonder, and at the same time to be welLj
pleased with what I taught them, respecting the divine Being^j^
&c. And since that time he has ever shown himself friendly—
to me, giving me free liberty to preach in his house, whenever-
I think fit, — Here therefore I have spent the greater part of
the summer past, preaching usually in the king^s house.
'^ The number of Indians in this place is but small ; most of
those that formerly belonged here, are dispersed, and removed
to places farther back in the country. There are not more
than ten houses hereabouts, that continue to be inhabited ; and
some of these are several miles distant from others, which
makes it difficult for the Indians to meet together so frequently
as could be desired.
" When I first began to preach here, the number of my
hearers was very small ; often not exceeding twenty or twenty-
five persons : but towards the latter part of the summer, their
number increased, so that I have frequently had for4;y persons,
or more, at once ; and oftentimes most belonging to those
parts, came together to hear me preach.
" The effects which the truths of God's word have had upon
some of the Indians in this place, are somewhat encouragmg.
Sundry of them are brought to renounce idolatry^ and to de-
cline partaking of those feasts which they used to offer in
sacrifice to certain supposed unknown powers. And some
few among them have, for a considerable time, manifested a
serious concern for their souls' eternal welfare, and still con-
tinue to " inquire the way to Zion," with such diligence, affec-
tion, and becoming solicitude, as gives me reason to hope that
"God who, I trust, has begun this work in them," will carry
it on, until it shall issue in their saving conversion to himseltl
These not only detest their old idolatrous notions, but strive
also to bring their friends off from them. And as they are
seeking salvation for tlieir own souls, so they seem desirous,
and some of them take pains, that others might be excited to
do the like.
" In July last I heard of a number of Indians residing at a
place called Kauksesauchung^ more tlian thirty miles westward
from the place where I usually preach. I visited them, found
about thirty persons, and proposed my desire of preaching to
them ; they readily complied, and I preached to them only
twice, they being just then removing from this place where
they only lived for the present, to Susquehannah-river^ where
they belonged.
HEMOIRS OF ERAiN£RD^ 169
^^ While I was preaching, they appeared sober and atten^
live ; and were somewhat surprised, having never before heard
of these thin^s^ There were two or three who suspected that
I had some ill design upon them ; and urged, that the white
t)eople had abused them, and taken their lands from them, and
therefore they had no reason to think that they were now con-
cerned for tneir happiness; but, on the contrary, that they
designed to make them slaves, or get them on board tfieir
Vessels, and make them fight with the people over the water^
(as they expressed it,^ meaning the French and Spaniards.
However, the most oi them appeared very friendly, and told
ine, they were then going directly home to Susquehannah, and
desired I would make them a visit there, and manifested a
Considerable desire of further instruction. — 'This invitation gavel
me some encouragement in my great work ; and made me
hope, that God designed to '^ open an effectual door to me^^
for spreading the gospel among the poor Heathen &rther
westward.
^^ In the beginning of October last, with the advice and di-
rection of the correspondents for the Indian mission, I under-
took a journey to Susquehannab. And after three days tedious
travel) two of them through a wilderness almost unpassabl^,*
hy reason of mountains and rocks, and two nights lodging in
the open wilderness, I came to an Indian settlement on thei
^e of Susquehannah-river, called Opehothaupung; wiiere
were twelve Indian houses, and (as nigh as 1 could learn)
about seventy soiils, old and youns, belonging to them.
^ Here also, soon after my arrival, I visited me im^, dddress-
iiu[ him with expressions of kindness ; and after a few words
of friendship, informed him of my desire to teach them the
kBowledge of Christianity. He hesitated not long before he'
told me, that be was willing to hear. I then preached ; and
continued there several days, preaching every day, as long as
the Indians were at home. And they, in order to hesir me^
deferred the design of their general hunting (which they were
just then entering upon) for Sie space of three or four aaysw
^^ The 97ten, I think universally, (except one) attended my
preaching. Only the wonien^ supposing the affair we were upon
Was of a public nature, belonging only to the men, and not
What every individual person should concern himself with, could
not readily be persuaded to come and hear ; but, after much
ps^m used with them for that purpose, some few ventured ia
come, and stand at a distance.
^ When I had preached to the Indians several times, some o^
them very frankly proposed what they had to object against
Christiaiiity ; and so gave me a fair opportunity K>r using my
best endeavours to remove from their mmds those scruples and
jealousies they laboured under : and when I had endeavoured
Vol. X. 33
170 MEXOIRS or BRAIXERD.
to answer their objections, some appeared much satisfied. I
then asked the king if be was willing I should visit andf pre&ch
to them again, if I should live to the next spring ? He replied,
he should oe heartily willing, for his own part, and added, he
wished the young people would learn, &c. I then put the same
question to the rest ; some answered they would be very glad,
and none manifested any dislike to it.
•*^ There were sundry other things in their behaviour, which
appeared with a comfortable and encouraging aspect f that,
upon the whole, I could not but rejoice I had taken tnat journey
among them, althou^ it was attended with manv dimculties
and hardships. The method I used with them, and the instruct
tions I gave them, I am persuaded, were mean», in some mea-
sure, to remove their heathenish jealousies and prejudices
against Christianity ; and I could not but hope, the God of all
grace was preparing their minds to receive '^ the truth, as it is
m Jesus.^* If this may be the happy consequence, I shall not
only rejoice in my past labours and fatigues, but shall, I trust,
also " be willing to spend and be spent," if I may thereby be
instrumental ^^ to turn them from darkness to light, and nom
the power of Satan to Gx)d."
" Thus, Sir, I have given you a faithful account of what has
been most considerable respecting my mission among the In-
dians ; in which I have studied all convenient brevity. I shaU
only now take leave to add a word or two respecting the
culties that attend the Christianizing of these poor Pagans.
**' In the first place, their minds are filled with prejudices
against Christianity, on account of the vicious lives, and unchris^
iian behaviour of some that are called Christians. These not
only set before them the worst examples, but some of them take
pains, expressly in words, to dissuade them from becoming
Christians ; foreseeing, that if these should be converted to
God, "the hope of their unlawful gain," would thereby be lost.
" Again, these poor Heathens are extremely attached to the
customs, traditions, and fabulous notions of their fathers. And
this one seems to be the foundation of all their other notions,
viz. that " it was not the same God made them, who made the
white people," but another, who commanded them to live by
hunting, &c. and not to conform to the customs of the white
people. Hence, when they are desired to become Christians^
they frequently reply, that " they wiH live as their fathers lived,
and go to their fathers when they die." And if the miracles of
Christ and his apostles be mentioned, to prove the truth of
Christianity, they also mention sundry miracles, which their
fathers have told them were anciently wrought among the In-
dians, and which Satan makes them believe were so*. They are
much attached to idolatry \ frequently making feasts, which they
eat in honourto %om^ unknown beings, who, they suppose, speas
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.
171
10 <h.oxn in dreams; promising them success in hunting, and other
^^ii^, in case they will sacrifice to them. They oftentimes, also,
o»fer their sacrifices to the spirits of the dead ; who, they suppose,
^'^^^d in need of favours from the living, and yet are in such a
^te as that they can well reward all the offices of kindness
^^t are shown them. And they impute all their calamities to
^^^ neglect of these sacrifices.
^ Furthermore, they are much awed by those among them-
^Ives, who are called powwows^ who are supposed to have a
P^^er of enchanting, or poisoning them to death, or, at least, .
1^ a very distressing manner. And they apprehend, it would
^ their sad fate to be thus enchanted, in case they should be-
come Christians.
"Lastly, the manner of their living is likewise a great disad-
vantage to the design of their being Christianized. They are
almost continually roving from place to place ; and it is but
rare, that an opportunity can be had with some of them for their
instruction. There is scarce anv time of the year, wherein the
men can be found generally at nome, except about six weeks
before, and in the season of planting their corn, and about two
months in the latter part of summer, from the time they^begin
to roast their corn, until it is fit to gather in.
^^ As to the hardships that necessarily attend a mission among
them, the fatigues of frequent journeying in the wilderness, the
unpleasantness of a mean and hard way^'of living, and the great
difficulty of addressing^' a people of a strange language,^' these
I shall, at present, pass over in silence ; designing what I have
already said of difficulties attending this work, not for the dis-
couragement of any, but rather for the incitement of all who
** love the appearing of the kingdom of Christ," to fi-equent the
throne of grace with earnest supplications, that the Heathen,
who were anciently promised to Christ " for his inheritance,"
may now actually and speedily be brought into his kingdom of
grace, and made heirs of immortal glory.
^^Jam, Sir,
" Your obedient^ humble servant >»
"David Brainerb."
The same day^ Nov, 5, he set out on a journey to New York,
to the meeting of the Presbytery there ; and was from home
mare than a fortnight. He seemed to enter on this journey
with great reluctance ; fearing that the diversions of it would
prove a means of cooling his religious affections, a3 he had
found in other journeys. Yet, in this journey, he had some
special seasons wherein he enjoyed extraordinary evidences
and fixiits of God's gracious presence. He was greatly fatigued,
and exposed to cold and storms ; and when he returned from
na MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD,
New York to New Jersey, on Friday was taken very ill, and
was detained by his illness some time.
Nov. 21. " Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the cold,
and was almost overcome with it. Enjoyed some sweetness in
conversation with dear Mr. Jones, while I dined with him. My
soul loves the people of God, and especially the ministers m
Jesus Christ, who feel the same trials that I do.
Nov. 32. " Came on my way from Rockciticus to the Dela-
ware. Was very much disordered with a cold and pain in my
head. About six at night, I lost my way in the wilderness, and
wandered over rocks ^ - mountains, down hideous steeps,
throuffb swamps, and X' M dreadful and dancerous places ;
and, me night being dsxu, io that few stars could be seen, I was
greatly exposed. 1 was much pinched with cold, and distressed
with an extreme pain in my head, attended with sickness at my
stomach -, so that every step I took was distressing to me. i
had little hope for several hours together, but that I must lie
out in the woods all night, in this distressed case. But about
nine o^clock, I found a house, through the abundant goodness
of God, and was kindly entertained. 'Thus I have frequently
been e:(posed, and sometimes lain out the whole nijght: but
God has hitherto preserved me ; and blessed be his name,
Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to wean me from
the earth ; and, I trust, will make heaven the sweeter. For<
merly, when I was thus exposed to cold, rain, &c, I Was
ready to please myself with the thoughts of enjoying a com?
fortable house, a warm fire, and other outward comforts ; but
now these have less place in my heart, (through the ^ace of
God,) and my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world
I expect tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, appear
strange to me. I do not in such seasons of difficulty flatter
myself that it will be better hereafter; but rather think how
much worse it might be ; how much greater trials others of
God's children have endured ; and how much greater are yet
perhcms reserved for me. Blessed be God, that he makes the
thougnts of my journey's end, and of my dissolution, a great
comfort to me, under my sharpest trials ; and scarce ever lets
these thoughts be attended with terror or melancholy ; but they
9xe attended frequently with great joy,
Nov. 28, J^ Visited a sick man ; discoursed and prayed with
fiim. Then visited another house, where one was dead and
laid out ; looked on the corpse, and longed that my time might
come to depart^ that I might be with Christ. Then went
heme to my lodgings, about one o'clock. Felt poorly 5 but
was able to read, most of the afternoon,'*
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ^ 173
Within the ^ace of the next twelve day 8^ he passed under
many changes in the frames and exercises of his mind. He
had many seasons of the special influences of God^s Spirit,
animating, invigorating, and comforting him in the ways of
God and the duties of reUgion : but had some turns of great
dejection and melancholy. He spent much time, within this
space, in hard labour, with others, to make for himself a little
cottage or hut, to live in by himself thrcMigii the winter. Yet
he frequently preached to the Indians, imd speaks of special
assistance which he had formed from time to time, in address^
ing himself to them ; and of his som^mes having considera-
ble encouragement from the atter ^- jb which they gave. But
on Tuesday^ December 4, he wa&- mfe into great discourage-
ment, to see most of them going in, Company to an idolatrous
fea^t and dance^ after he had taken abundant pains to dissuade
them from these things.
Dec. 6. " Having now a happy opportunity of being retired
in a house of my own, which I have lately procured and
moved into; considering that it is now a long^ time since I
have been able, either on account of bodily weakness, or for
want of retirement, or some other difficulty to spend any time
in secret fasting and prayer ; considering also the greatness of
my work, the extreme difficulties that attend it, and that mv
poor Indians are now worshipping devils^ notwithsteuiding all
the pains I have taken with them, which almost overwhelms my
spirit ; inoreover, considering my extreme barrenness, spiritual
deadness and dejection, of late ; as also the power of some
particular corruptions ; I set apart this day for secret prayer
and fasting, to implore the blessing of God on myself, on my
poor people, on my friends, and on the church of God. At
first, 1 felt a great backwardness to the duties of the day, on
account of the seeming impossibility of performing them ; but
the Lord helped me to break through this difficulty. God was
pleased by the use of means, to give me some clear conviction
of my sinfulness, and a discovery of the plague of my own
heart J more affecting than what I have of late had. And espe-
cially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when God had with-
drawn himself, then, instead of living and dying in pursuit of
liim, I have been disposed to one of these two things ; either,
Jbrst^ to yield an unbecoming respect to some eartUy objects,
as if happiness were to be derived from them ; or, secondly^ to
be Hecieilyfroward and impatient, and unsuitably desirous of
deaths so that I have sooAetimes thought I could not .bear to
think that my life must be lengthened out. That which often
drove me to this impatient desire of death, was a despair of
doing any good in life ; and I chose death rather than a life
spent for nothing. Sut now God m«de me sensible of my sin
174 ^ M£MOIRS OF BRAINERD.
in these things, and enabled me to cry to him iox forgiveness.
Yet this was not all which I wanted, for my soul appeared ex-
ceedingly polluted, my heart seemed like a nest of vipers, or a
cage of unclean and hateful birds ; and therefore I wanted to
be purified ^^ by the blood of sprinkling, that cleanseth from all
sin." This, I hope, I was enabled to pray for in faith. I en-
joyed much more intenseness, fervency, and spirituality, than I
expected; God was better to me than my fears. Towards
night, I felt my soul rejoice, that God is unchangeably happy
and glorious ; and that he will be glorified, whatever becomes
of his creatures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer, until
sometime in the evening : at which time 1 saw so much need
of divine help, in every respect, that I knew not how to leave
off, and had forgot that I needed food. This evening, I was
much assisted in meditating on Is. Hi. 3. For thus sceith the
Lordt ye have sold yourselves for nought^ &c. Blessed be the
Lord ior any help m the past day.
Dec. 7. ^^ Spent some time in prayer, in the morning ; en-
joyed some fi-eedom and affection in the duty, and had long-
ing desires of being ^^ made faithful to death." Spent a little
time in writing on a divine subject : then visited me Indians,
and preached to them ; but under inexpressible dejection. I
had no heart to speak to them, and could not do it, but as 1
forced myself: I knew they must hate to hear me, as having
but just got home from theu- idolatrous feast and devil-worship.
— In the evening, had some freedom in prayer and medita-
tion.
Dec, 8. " Have been uncommonly free this day from de-
jection, and from that distressing apprehension, that I could do
nothing ; was enabled to pray and study with some comfort ;
and especially was assisted in writing on a divine subject. In
the evening, my soul rejoiced in God ; and I blessed his name
for shining on my soul. O, the sweet and blessed change I
then felt, when God " brought me out of darkness into his
marvellous light !"
Lords day^ Dec. 9. " Preached, both parts of the day, at a
place called Greenwich^ in New Jersey, about ten miles froni
my own house. In the first discourse I had scarce any warmth
or affectionate longing for souls. In the intermediate season 1
got alone among the bushes, and cried to God for pardon of
my deadness ; and was in anguish and bitterness, that I could
not address souls with more compassion and tender affection.
I judged and condemned myself for want of this divine temper;
t^ot^h I saw I could not get it as of myself, any more than I
could make a world. In the latter exercise, blessed be the
Lord, I had some fervency, both in prayer and preaching ; and
especially in the application of my discourse, I was enabled to
address precious souls with affection, concern, tenderness, and
MfilfOIftS OF BRAINER0. IHS
importunity. The spirit of God, I think, was there ; as the ef-
fects were apparent, tears running down many cheeks.
jpcc. 10. " Near noon, I preached again : God gave me some
assistance, and enabled me to be in some degree faithful ; so
that I had peace in my own soul, and a very comfortable com-
posure, " although Israel should not be gathered." Came
away from Greenwich and rode home ; arrived just in the even-
ing. By the way my soul blessed God for his goodness ; and
I rejoiced, that so much of my work was done, and I so much
nearer my blessed reward. Blessed be God for grace to be
faithful.
Dec. 11. " Felt very poorly in body, being much tired and
worn out the last night. Was assisted in some measure in
writing on a divine subject : but was so feeble and sore in my
breast, that I had not much resolution in my work. O, how
I long for that world " where the weary are at rest !" and yet
through the goodness of God I do not now feel impatient.
Dec. 12. " Was again very weak ; but somewhat assisted in
secret prayer, and enabled with pleasure and sweetness to ciy^
*' Come, Lord Jesus ! come. Lord Jesus ! come quickly." My
soul " longed for God, for the living God." O, how delightful it
is to pray under such sweet influences ! O, how much better is
this, than one's necessary food ! I had at this time no disposition
to eat, (though late in the morning ;) for earthly food appeared
wholly tasteless. O how much " better is thy love than wine,"
than the sweetest wine ! — I visited and preached to the Indians,.
in the afternoon ; but under much dejection* Found my Inter-
prefer under some concern for his soul ; which was some com-
fort to me ; and yet filled me with new care. I longed greatly
for his conversion ; lifted up my heart to God for it, while I was
talking to him ; came home, and poured out my soul to God
for him ; enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and was enabled, I
think, to leave all with God.
Dec. 13. " Endeavoured to spend the day in fasting and
prayer, to implore the divine blessing, more especially on my
poor people ; and in particular, I sought for converting grace
for my Interpreter^ and three or four more under some concern
for their souls. I was much disordered in the morning when I
arose ; but having determined to spend the day in this manner,
I attempted it. Some freedom I had in pleading for these
poor concerned souls, several times ; and when mterceding
for them, I enjoyed greater freedom from wandering an4 dis-
tracting thoughts, than in any part of my supplications. Buty
in the general, I was greatly exercised with wanderings ; so that
in the evening it seemed as if I had need to pray for nothing
so much as for the pardon of sins committed in the day past^
and the vileness I then found in myself. The sins I had most
sense of, were pride, and wandering thoughts, whereby \
176 MEMOIRS OF BRAtNEftt).
mocked God. The fonner of these cursed iniquities excited me
to think of writing, preaching, or converting heathens, or per-
forming some other great work, that my name might live wnen
I should be dead. My soul was in anguish, and ready to drop
into despair, to find so much of that cursed temper^ With this<
and the other evil I laboured under, viz. wandering thoughts, 1
was almost overwhelmed, and even ready to give over striying
after a spirit of devotion ; and oftentimes sunk into a consider-
able degree of despondency^ and thought I was ** mote bmtish
than any man.^^ Yet after all nnr sonows, I trust, through
grace, this day and the exercises of it have been for my good^
and taught me more of my corruption, and weakness wimout
Christ, than I knew before.
Dec. 14. '^ Near noon, went to the Indians ; but knew not
what to say to them, and was ashamed to look them m the
face. I felt that I had no power to address their consciences^
and therefore had no boldness to say any thing. Was, mach
of the day, in a degree of despair about ever ^^ doing or seeing
any good in the land of the living.^^
He continued under the same dejection the next day^
Lord'^s datfi Dec. 16. " Was so overwhelmed With dejeC^
tion, that I knew not how to livCr I longed for death exceed-
ingly : my soul was sunk into deep waters^ and thelioods were
ready to drown me. I was so much oppressed, tnat my soul
was in a kind of horror ; could not keep my thoughts fixed in
prayer, for the space of one minute, without fluttering anil
distraction ; and was exceedingly ashamed, that I did not live
to God. I had no distressing doubt about my own state ; but
would have cheerfully ventured (as far as I cotild possibly
know) into eternity. While I was going to preach to the In-
dians, my soul was in anguish ; I was so overborne with dis-
couragement, that I despaired of doing any good, and was
driven to my wit*s-end ; I knew nothing what to say, nor what
course to take^ But at last I insisted on the evidence we have
of the truth of Christianity from the miracles of Christ ^ many
of which I set before them : and God helped me to make a
close application to those who refused to believe the truth of
what I taught them. Indeed, I was enabled to speak to thcf
consciences of all, in some measure, and was somewhat en-
couraged, to find that God enabled me to be faithfial once
more. Then came and preached to another company of
them ; but was very weary and faint. In the evening, I wasf
refreshed, and enabled to pray and praise God with composure
and affection ; had some enlargement and courage with res-
pect to my work ; was willing to live, and longed to do more
for God than my weak state of body would admit of. " I can
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 177
tic all things through Christ that strengthens me r and by his
f-ace, I am willing to spend and be spent in his service, when
am not thus sunk in dejection, and a kind of despair.
Dec. 17. ^' Was comfortable in mind, most of the day ; was
enabled to pray with some freedom, cheerfulness, composure,
and devotion ; and had also some assistance in writing on a
divine subject.
Dec. 18. *'Went to the Indians, and discoursed to them
near an hour, without any power to come close to their hearts.
&ut at last I felt some fervency, and God helped me to speak
with warmth. My Interpreter also was amazingly assisted ;
and I doubt not but that '* the Spirit of God wasoipon him ;^^
though I had no reason to think he had any true and saving grace,
but was only under conviction of his lost state ; and presently
Upon this most of the grown persons were much affected, and
the tears ran down their cheeks. One old ?nan^ I suppose an
hundred years old, was so much affected, that he wept, and
seemed convinced of the importance of what I taught them.
I staid with them a considerable time, exhorting and directing
them ; and came away, lifting up my heart to God in prayer
and praise, and encouraged and exhorted my Interpreter to
^ strive to enter in at the strait gate.^' Came home, sind spent
most of the evening in prayer and thanksgiving ; and found
ttyself much enlarged and quickened. Was greatly concerned,
that the Lord^s work which seemed to be begun, might be
carried on with .power, to the conversion of poor souls, and
the fflory of divine grace.
Xtec. 19. " Spent a great part of the day in prayer to God,
for the outpouring of his Spirit on my poor people ; as, also, to
bless his name for awakenmg my Interpreter and some others,
BJtid giving us some tokens of his presence yesterday. And
blessed be God, I had much freedom, five or six times in the
da^, in prayer and praise, and felt a weighty concern upon my
spirit for the salvation of those precious souls, and the enlarge-
ment of the Redeemer's kingdom among them. My soul hoped
in God for some success in my ministry : and blessed be his
name for so much hope.
Dec. 20. " Was enabled to visit the throne of grace frequent
ly this day ; and through divine goodness enjoyed much freedom
and fervency, sundry times : was much assisted in crying for
mercy for my poor people, and felt cheerfulness and nope in
nay requests for them. I spent much of the day in writing ; but
Was enabled to intermix prayer with my studies.
Dec. 21. " Was enabled again to pray with freedom, cheer-
fulness, and hope. God was pleased to make the duty com-
fortable and pleasant to me ; so that I delighted to persevere^
Tflid repeatedly to engage in it. Towards noon, visited my
people, and spent the whole time in the way to them in prayer^
Vol. X. 23
178 MEMOiRb OF BRAIN£RD'.
longing to sec the power of God. among them, as ther6 ap'
peared something of it the last Tuesday ; and I found it sweet
to rest and hope in God. Preached to them twice, and at twa
distinct places : had considerable freedom each time, and- so
had my Interpreter. Several of them followed me from one
place to the other : and I thought there was some divine influ-
ence discernible amongst them. In the evening, was assisted
in prayer again. Blessed be the LordP'*
Very much the same things are expressed concerning his in->
ward frame, exercises, and assistances on Saturday^ as on the
precedingdays.- He observes, that this was a comfortable week
to him*, J3ut then concludes, ^^ Oh that I had no reason to com-'
plain of much barrenness ! Oh that there were no vain thoughts
and evil affections lodged within me ! The Lord knows how I
long for that world, where they rest day nor night saying, Hofy,
holtf^ holy is the Lord God A Imtghty P'* On the following Sa6&at&
be speaks of assistance and freedom in his public work, but as
having less of the sensible presence of God, than fre(|uently in
the week past ; but yet says his soul was kept from smking in
discouragement. On Monday y again, he seemed to enjoy venF
much the same liberty and fervency, through the day, which
he enjoyed through the greater part of the preceding week.^ —
This day, he wrote the following letter to one of his intimate
friends, a clergyman in New Jersey.
'-Forks of Delaware, Dee. 24, 1744.
" Rev. and Dear Brother,
" I have little to say to you about spiritual joys, and those
blessed refreshments and divine consolations, with which I have
been much favoured in times past ; but this I can tell you, that
if I gain experience in no other point, yet I am sure I do in
this, viz. that the present world has nothing in it to satisfy an
immortal soul ; and hence, that it is not to be desired for itself,
but only because God may be seen and served in it. I wish I
could be more patient and willine to live in it for this 67t^, than
I can usually find myself to be. It is no virtue, I know, to de-
sire death, only to be freed from the miseries of life ; but I want
that divine hope which you observed, when I saw you last, was
the very sinews of vital religion. Earth can do us no good, and
if there be no hope of our doing good on earth, how can we
desire to live in it ? Yet we ought to desire, or at least to be
resigned to tarry in it ; because it is the will of our all-wise
Sovereign. But, perhaps, these thoughts will appear melan-
choly and gloomy, and, consequently, will be very undesirable
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 179
t5 you ; and, therefore, I forbear to add, I wish you may not
read them in the same circumstances in which I write them. I
have a little more to do and suffer in a dark, disconsolate
world ; and then I hope to be as nappy as you are. — I should
ask you to pray for me, were I worth your concern. May the
Lord enable us both to '^ endure hardness as good soldiers of
Jesus Christ ;" and may we " obtain mercy of God to be faith-
ful to the death," in the discharge of our respective trusts !
" I am your very unworthy brother,
** And humble servant,
"David Brainerd.''
Dec. 25. " Enjoyed very little quiet sleep last night, by rea-
son of bodily weakness, and the closeness of my studies yes-
terday ; yet my heart was somewhat lively in prayer and praise.
I was delighted with the divine glory and happiness, and re-
joiced that God was God, and that he was unchangeably pos-
sessed of glory and blessedness. Though God held my eyes
toaJfctn^, yet he helped me to improve my time profitably amidst
mj pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Luke
xiii. 7. Behold^ these three years I come seeking fruity &c. My
meditations were sweet ; and I wanted to set before sinners
their sin and danger.''
He continued in a very ]ow state, as to his bodily health, for
^omedays^ which seems to have been a great hinderance to him
in his religious exercises and pursuits. But yet he expresses
some degree of divine assistance, from day to day, through the
renuminspart of this week. He preached several times this
week to his Indians ; and there appeared still some concern
amongst them for their souls. On Saturday^ he rode to the
bish settlement, about fifteen miles from his lodgings^ in order
to spend the Sabbath there.
hordes day^ Dec. 30. ^^ Discoursed, both parts of the day,
from Mark viii. 34. Whosoever will come after me, (&c. God
gave me very great freedom and clearness, and in the afternoon
especiallV) considerable warmth and fervency. In the evening
also, had very great clearness while conversing with friends on
divine things. I do not remember ever to have had more clear
apprehensions of religion in my life ; but found a struggle in
the evening with spiritual pride.''
On Monday^ he preached again in the same place with free-
dom and fervency ; and rode home to his lodging, and arrived
in the evening, under a considerable degree of podiljr illness,
which continued the two next days^ so that he complains much
of spiritual emptiness and barrenness on those days.
180 MEMOIRS dF BRAIN£RD.
Jan. 3, 1745. ^' Being sensible of the great want of divine-^
influence, and the outpouring of God^s Spirit, I spent this ds^-*?
in fasting and prayer, to seek so great a mercy for myself, mjr^
poor people in particular, and the church of God in gencvaL^
In the morning, was very lifeless in prayer, and could ge^K
^carcely any sense of God. Near noon, enjoyed some sweeC'
freedom to pray that the will of God might in every respecft
become mine ; and I am persuaded, it was so at that time ic
some good degree. In the afternoon, I was exceedingly weak,
and could not enjoy much fervency in prayer ; but felt a great
degree of dejection ; which, I believe, was very much owing to
my bodily weakness and disorder.
Jan. 4. ^^ Rode up to the Indians, near noon; spent some
time under great disorder : my soul was sunk down into deef
waters^ and 1 was almost overwhelmed with melancholy.
Jan. 5. ^^ Was able to do something at vrritinff; but was
much disordered with pain in mv head. At night, was dift^
tressed with a sense of my spiritual pollution, and ten thousand
youthful, yea, and childish tollies, that nobody but myself had
any thought about ; aH which appeared to me now fredi, and
in a lively view, as if committed yesterday, and made aiy soul
ashamed before God, and caused me to hate myself.
Lord^s day^ Jan. 6. ^^ Was still distressed with vapoury dis^
orders. Preached to my poor Indians : but had little heart or
life. Towards night, my soul was pressed under a sense of my
unfaithfulness. O the joy and peace that arise from a sense
of " having obtained mercy of God to be faithful P* And O
the misery and anguish that spring from an apprehension of the
contrary !"
His dejection continued the two next days ; but not to so
great a degree on Tuesday^ when he enjoyed some freedom
and fervency in preaching to the Indians.
Jan. 9. ^^ In the morning, God was pleased to remove that
Sloom which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me free*
om and sweetness in prayer. I was encouraged, strengthened,
and enabled to plead for grace for myself, and mercy for my
poor Indians ; and was sweetly assisted in my intercessions with
God for others. Blessed be his holy name for ever and ever*
Amen, and Amen. Those things that of late appeared
most difiicult and almost impossible, now appeared not only
possible, but easy. My soul was much delighted to continue
mstant in prayer, at this blessed season, that I had no desire for
my necessary food : even dreaded leaving off praying at all,
lest I should lose this spirituality, and this blessed thankftilness
to God which I then felt, I felt now quite willing to live, and
tindergo all trials that might remain for me in a world of sor*
MEMOIRS OF BBAINERX:^. 181
row : but still longed fcur heaven, that I might glorify God in
« perfect manner. O *^c<Hne, Lord Jesus^ come quickly .^^
Spent the day in reading a little ; and in some diversions,
wnich I was necessitated to take by reason of much weakness
and disorder. In the evening, enjoyed some freedom and
intenseness in prayer.^^
The three remaining days of the week., he was very low and
feeble in body ; but nevertheless continued constantly in the
same comfortable sweet frame of mind, as is expressed on
Wednesday. On the Sabbath^ this sweetness in spiritual
alacrity began to abate ; but still he enjoyed some degree of
comfort, and had assistance in preaching to the Indians.
Jem. 14. ^^ Spent this day under a great degree of bodily
weakness and disorder ; had very little freedom, either in my
studies or devotions ; and in the evening, I was much dejected
and melancholy. It pains and distresses me, that I hve so
much of my time for nothing. I long to do much in a little
time ; and if it might be the Lord's will to finish m^ work
ipeecUy in this tiresome world, I am sure, I do not desire to
"live for any thing in this world ; and through grace I am not
afraid to look the king of terrors in the face : I know that I
shall be afraid if God leaves me ; and therefore I think it
always my duty to provide for that solemn hour. But for a
very considerable time past, my soul has rejoiced to think of
death in its nearest approaches, and even when I have been
veiy weak, and seemed nearest eternity. ^^ Not unto me, not
unto me, but to God be the glory.'' I feel that which con-
vinces me, that if God do not enable me to maintain a holy,
dependence upon him, death will easily be a terror to me ; but
at present, I must say, ^' I Ions to depart, and to be with
Christ," which is the best of all. When I am in a sweet re-
sided frame of soul, I am willing to tarry awhile in a world
of scHTOw. I am willing to be from home as long as God sees
fit it should be so ; but when I want the influence of this tem-
£»*, I am then apt to be impatient to be gone. — O, when will
e day appear, that I shall be perfect in holiness, and in the
enjoyment of God !"
The next day was spent under a great degree of dejection
and melancholy ; which, as he himself was persuaded, was
owing piartly to bodily weakness, and vapoury disorders.
Jan. 16 and 17. ^^ I spent most of the time in writing on a
Bweet divine subject, and enjoyed some freedom and assistance.
Was likewise enabled to pray more frequently and fervently
than usual ; and my soul, I think, rejoiced in God ; especially
182 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.
on the evening of the last of these days. Praise then seemed
comely^ and I delighted to bless the Lord. O what reason have
1 to be thankfol, that Grod ever helps me to labour and study
for him ! he does but receive his own, when I am enabled in any
measure to praise him, labour for him, and live to him. O,
how comfortable and sweet it is, to feel the assistance of divine
grace in the performance of the duties which God has enjoined
on us ! Bless the Lardy O my soul P^
The same enlargement of heart, and joyful frame of soul,
continued through the next day. But on the day following it
began to decline ; which decay seems to have continued the
whole of the next week : yet he enjoyed some seasons of spe-
cial and sweet assistance.
Lord'^s day, Jan. 27. ^ Had the greatest degree of inward
anguish, which I almost ever endured. I was perfectly over--
whelmed, and so confused, that after 1 began to discoiurse to
the Indians, before I could finish a sentence, sometimes I forgot
entirely what I was aiming at ; or if, with much difficulty, I
had recollected what I had before designed, ftill it appeared-
strange, and like something I had long forgotten, and had now
but an imperfect remembrance of. I know it was a degree of
distraction, occasioned by vapoury disorders, melanchcdr,
spiritual desertion, and some other things that particularly
pressed upon me this morning, with an uncommon weight, the
principal of which respected my Indians. This distressing
gloom never went off the whole day ; but was so far removed,
that I was enabled to speak with seme freedom and concern to
the Indians, at two of their settlements ; and I think, there
was some appearance of the presence of God with us, some
seriousness and seeming concern among the Indians, at least a
few of them. In the evening, this gloom continued still, till
family prayer,* about nine o'clock, and almost through this,
until I came near the close, when I was praying, as I usually
do, for the illumination and conversion of my poor people ;
and then the cloud was scattered, so that I enjoyed sweetness
and freedom, and conceived hopes, that God designed mercy
for some of them. The same I enjoyed afterwards in secret
prayer ; in which precious duty I had for a considerable time
sweetness and freedom, and, I hope, faith, in praying for myself,
my poor Indians, and dear friends and acquaintance in New-
England, and elsewhere, and for the dear interests of Zion in
general. Bless the Lord, O my soul^ and forget not all his
benefits.^^
* Thoug^h Brainerd now dwelt by himBelf in the forementioned litUe cot-
tage« which he had built for his own use ; yet that was near to p. fynxulj of
white people, with whom he had lired before, and with whom he still attended
family prayer.
SEMOinS OF BRAINERD. 183
tie spent the rest of this week^ or, at least, the most of it,
under dejection and melancholy ; which, on Friday^ rose to an
extreme height ; he being then, as he himself obser\'es, much
exercised with vapoury disorders. This exceeding gloominess
continued on Saturday, till the evening, when he was again
relieved in family prayer ; and after it, was refreshed in secret,
and felt willing to live, and endure hardships in the cause of
God ; and found his hopes of the advancement of Christ^s
kingdom, as also his hopes to see the power of God among the
poor Indians, considerably raised.
Lord'*s day^ Feb. 3. ^^ In the morning, I was somewhat re-
lieved of that gloom and confusion, with which my mind has
of late been greatly exercised ; and was enabled to pray with
some composure and comfort. Still 1 went to my Indians
trembling ; for my soul " remembered the wormwood and the
gair^ of Friday last. I was greatly afraid that I should be
obliged again to drink of that cup of tremblings which was in*
conceivably more bitter than death, and made me long for the
grave more, unspeakably more, than for hid treasures, yea, in-
conceivably more than the men of this world long for such
treasures. But God waa pleased to hear my cries, and to afford
me great assistance ; so that I felt peace in my own soul ; and
was satisfied, that if not one of the Indians should be profited
by my preaching, but should all be damned, yet I should be
accepted and rewarded as faithful ; for I am persuaded, God
enabled me to be so. — Had some good degree of help after-
wards, at another place ; and much longed for the conversion
of the poor Indians. Was somewhat refreshed, and comforta-
ble, towards night and in the evening. Oh, that my soul might
praise the Lord for his goodness !— Enjoyed some freedom, in
the evening, in meditation on Luke xiii. ^. Strive to enter in
ai the strmtgate^ &c.^^
In the three next days^ he was the subject of much dejection :
but the three remaining days of the week, seem to have been
spent with much composure and comfort. On the next Sabbathy
he preached at Greenwich, in New Jersey. In the evening, he
rode eight miles to visit a sick man at the point of death, and
found him speechless and senseless.
Feb. 11. « About break of day, the sick man died. I was
affected at the sight ; spent the morning with the mourners ; and,
after prayer and some discourse with them, returned to Green-
wich, and preached again from Ps. Ixxxix. 15. Blessed is the
people that know^ &c. The Lord gave me assistance ; I felt a
sweet love to souls, and to the kingdom of Christ ; and longed
that poor sinners might know the joyful sound. Several persons
184 MEMOIRS or BHAINERD^
were much affected. After meeting, I was enabled to discourge,
with freedom and concern, to some persons, who applied to me
mider spiritual trouble. Left the place, sweetly composed, and
rode home to my house about eight miles distant Discoursed to
friends, and inculcated divme truths upon some. In the evening,
was in the most solemn frame, which I almost ever remember
to have experienced. I know not that ever death appeared
more real to me, or that ever I saw myself in the condition of a
dead corpse, laid out, and dressed for a lodsing in the silent
grave, so evidently as at this time. And yet I felt exceedingly
tranquil ; my mind was composed and calm, and death appeared
without a sting. I think, I never felt such an universal mortifi-'
cation to all created objects as now. O, how great and ^lenm
a thing it appeared to die ! O, how it lays the greatest honour
in the dust ! And O^ how vain and trifling did the riches, fao*"
nours, and pleasures of the world appear ! I could not, I dare
not, so much as think of any of them ; for deaths deaths solemn
(though not frightfril) death appeared at the door. O, I could
see myself dead, and laid out, and inclosed in my coflbti, and
put down into the cold grave, with the greatest solemnity, but
without terror ! I spent most of the evening in conversing
with a dear Christian friend ; and blessed be God, it was a com-
fortable evening to us both. What are friends ? What are com-
forts? What are sorrows ? What are distresses ? — ^^ The time is
short. It remains, that they which weep, be as though they
wept not ; and they which rejoice, as though they rejoiced not;
for the fashion of this world passeth away* Oh come, Lord
Jesus, come quickly. Amen." — Blessed be God for the com^
forts of the past day.
Feb, 12. " Was exceedingly weak ; but in a sweet, resigned^
composed frame, most of the day : felt my heart freely go forth
after God in prayer.
Feb. 13. " W as much exercised with vapoury disorders, but.
still enabled to maintain solemnity, and, I think, spirituality.
Feb, 14. " Spent the day in writing on a divine subject y
enjoyed health and freedom in my work ; and had a solemim
sense of death, as I have indeed had every day this week, in
some measure. What I felt on Monday last, has been abiding^
in some considerable degree, ever since.
Feb. 15. " Was engaged in writing again almost the whole
day. In the evenings was much assisted in meditating on that
precious text, John vii. 37. Jesus stood and cried^ &c. I had
then a sweet sense of the free grace of the gospel ; my soul was
encouraged, warmed and quickened. My desires were drawn
out after God in prayer ; and my soul was watchful, afraid of
losing so sweet a guest as I then entertained. I continued long
in prayer and meditation, intermixing one with the other j
^nd was unwilling to be diverted by any thing at all from so
MEMOIRS OF BKAINLRD. 185
sweet an exercise. I longed to proclaim the grace 1 then medi-
tated upon, to the world of sinners. — O how quick and powerful
is the word of the blessed God."
The next day^ he complains of great conflicts with corruption,
and much discomposure of mind.
Lord'^8 dayy Feb. 17. " Preached to the white people, my In-
terpreter being absent, in the wilderness upon the sunny side
of a hill ; had a considerable assembly, consisting of people
who lived, at least many of them, not less than thirty miles
asunder ; some of them came near twenty miles. I discoursed
to them all day, from John vii. 37. Jesus stood and cried^ say-
^g^ ifonyman thirsty &c. In the afternoon, it pleased God to
grant me great freedom and fervency in my discourse ; and I
was enabled to imitate the example of Christ in the text, who
stood and cried, — I think I was scarce ever enabled to offer the
free grace of God to perishing sinners with more freedom and
plainness in my life. Afterwards, I was enabled earnestly to
invite the children of God to come renewedly, and drink of this
fountain of the water of life, from whence they have heretofore
derived unspeakable satisfaction. It was a very comfortable
time to me. There were many tears in the assembly ; and I
doubt not but that the Spirit of God was there, convincing poor
sinners of their need of Christ. In the evening, Ifelt composed
and comfortable, though much tired. I had some sweet sense
of the excellency and glory of God ; my soul rejoiced that he
was " God over all blessed for ever ;'' but was too much crowd-
ed with company and conversation, and longed to be more
alone with God. Oh that I could for ever bless God for the
mercy of this day, who " answered me in the joy of my
heart."
The remainder of this week seems to have been spent under
a decay of this life and Joy, and in distressing conflicts with cor-
ruption ; but not without some seasons of refreshment and com-
fort.
hordes day^ Feb. 24. " In the morning was much perplexed.
My Interpreter being absent, I knew not how to perform my
work among the Indians. However, I rode to them, got a
Dutchman to interpret for me, though he was but poorly quali-
fied for the business. Afterwards, I came and preached to a
few white people, from John vi. 67. Then said Jesus unto
the twelve^ &c. Here the Lord seemed to unburden me in
some measure, especially towards the close of my discourse :
I felt freedom to open the love of Christ to his own dear dis-
' ?*. . When the rest of the vforlA forsakes him, and are /or-
VoL. X. 34
186 MEMOIRS OF BRAINfiRJP.
iaken by him, that he calls them no more, he then turns to his
own, and says, Will ye also go away ? 1 had a sense of the
free grace of Christ to his own people, in such seasons of gene*
ral apostacy, and when they themselves in some measure back-
slide with the world. O the free grace of Christ, that he season-
ably reminds his people of their danger of backsliding^ and in-
vites them to persevere in their adherence to himself! I saw
that backsliding souls, who seemed to be about to go away
with the world, might return, and welcome, to him immedi'
atdy ; without any thin^ to recommend them ; notwithstanding
all their former backslidings. Thus my discourse was suited to
my own soul^s case ; for, of late, I have found a great want of
this sense and apprehension of divine grace ; and have often
been greatly distressed in my own soul, because I did not suit-
ably apprehend this ^^ fountain to purge away sin ;^^ and have
been too much labouring for spiritual life, peace of conscience,
and progressive holiness, in my own strength. Now God show-
ed me, in some measure, the arm of all stren&th, and the fonmr
tain of all grace. — In the evening, I felt solemn, devout and
sweet ; resting on free grace for assistance, acceptance, and
peace of conscience."
Within the space of the next nine days^ ho had frequent re-
freshing, invigorating influences of God^s Spirit ; attended with
complaints of dulness, and with longings after spiritual life and
holy fervency.
Marchij, " Spent most of the day in preparing for a journey
to New England. Spent some time in prayer, with a special
reference to my intended journey. Was afraid I should for-
sake the Fountain of living waters^ and attempt to derive satis-
faction from broken cisterns^ my dear friends and acquaintance,
with whom 1 might meet in my journey. I looked to God to
keep me from this vanity^ as well as others. Towards night, and
in the evening, was visited by some friends, some of whom, I
trust, were real Christians ; who discovered an affectionate re-
gard to me, and seemed grieved that I was about to leave
^em ; especially as I did not expect to make any considera-
' able stav among them, if 1 should live to return from New
England.* O how kind has God been to me ! how has he raised
up friends in every place where his providence has called me 1
Friends are a great comfort; and it is God who gives them ; it
is He who makes them friendly to me. Bless the Lord, O my
soulj and forget not all his benefits.
The ncoTt day, he set out on his journey ; and it was about
five weeks before he returned. — The special design of this
* It leems he had a design, by what afterwards appears, to remove and^lire
among the Indians on the Susquehannah river.
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 187
journey, he himself declares afterrv^ards, in his diar}r for March
21, where, speaking of his conversing with a certain minister
in New England, he says, ^^ Contrived with him how to raise
some money among Christian friends, in order to support a
collea^e^with me m the wilderness, (I having now spent two
years m a" very solitary manner,) that we might be together: as
Christ sent out his disciples two and two : and as this was the
principal concern 1 had in view, in taking this journey, so I took
pains m it, and hope God will succeed it, if for his glory." He
first went into various parts of New Jersey, and visited several
ministers there ; then went to New York ; and from thence
into New England, going to various parts of Connecticut. He
then returned to New Jersey, and met a number of ministers
at Woodbridge, "who," he says, " met there to consult about
the affairs of Christ^s kingdom, in some important articles."
He seems, for the most part, to have been free from melancholy
in this journey ; and many times to have had extraordinary as-
sistance in public ministrations, and his preaching sometimes
attended with very hopeful appearances of a good effect on the
auditory. He also had many seasons of special comfort and
spiritual refreshment, in conversation with ministers and
other Christian friends, and also in meditation and prayer
when alone.
April 13. " Rode home to my own house at the Forks of
Delaware ; and was enabled to remember the goodness of the
Lord, who has now preserved me while riding full six hundred
miles in this journey ; has kept me that none of my bones have
been broken. Blessed be the Lord, who has preserved me in
this tedious journey, and returned me in safety to my own
house. Verily it is God who has upheld me, ana guarded my
goings.
Lord^s day^ April 14. " Was disordered in body with the
fatigues of the late journey ; but was enabled however to
pireach to a considerable assembly of white people, gathered
from all parts round about, with some freeaom, from Ezek.
xxxiii. Ih As I live^ saith the Lord God^ &c. Had much
more assistance than I expected."
This toeek he went a journey to Philadelphia, in order to en-
^ge the Governor to use his mterest with the chief of the Six
Nations^ With, whom he maintained a strict friendship, that he
would give him leave to live at Susquehannah, and instruct the
Indians who are within theu- territories.* In his way to and
'*' The Indians at Sasqaehannah are a mixed company of many nations,
speaking yarioas languages, and few of them properly of the Six Nations. Bat
yet the coantry having formerly been conquered by the Six Nations, they
claim the land ; and fhe Snsquehannah Indians are a kind of yassals to them.
188 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
from thence, lie lodged with Mr. Beaty, a young presbytehan
minister. He speaks of seasons of sweet spiritual refreshment
which he enjoyed at his lodgings.
April 20. " Rode with Mr. Beaty to Abington, to attend
Mr. Treat^s administration of the sacrament, according to the
method of the church of Scotland. When we arrived^ we
found Mr. Treat preaching ; afterwards I preached a sermon
from Matt. v. 3. Blessed are the poor in spirit^ &c. God was
pleased to give me great freedom and tenderness, both in prayer
and sermon ; the assembly was sweetly melted, and scores
were all in tears, ft w.is, as I then hoped, and was afterwards
abundantly satisfied by conversing with them, a ^' word spoken
in season to many weary souls." I was extremely tired, and
my spirits much exhausted, so that I could scarcely speak loud ;
yet I could not help rejoicing in God.
Lord^s day^ April 21. " In the morning, was calm and com-
posed, and had some thirstings of soul after God in secret du-
ties, and longing desires of his presence in the sanctuary and
at his table ; that his presence might be in the assembly ; and
that his children might be entertained with a feast of fat
things. — In the forenoon, Mr. Treat preached. I felt some
aifection and tenderness during the administration of the
ordinance. Mr. Beaty preached to the multitude abroad, who
could not half have crowded into the meeting-hoiise. In the
season of the communion, I had comfortable and sweet ap-
prehensions of the blissful communion of God's people, when
they shall meet at their Father^s table in his kingdom, in a
state of perfection. — In the afternoon, I preached abroad to
the whole assembly, from Rev. xiv. 4. These are they thai
follow the Lamb^ &c. God was pleased again to give me very
great freedom and clearness, but not so much warmth as be-
fore. However, there was a most amazing attention in the
whole assembly ; and, as I was informed afterwards, this was a
sweet season to many.
April 22. " I enjoyed some sweetness in retirement, in the
morning. At eleven o'clock, Mr. Beaty preached, with freedom
and life. Then I preached from John vii. 37. In the last day^
&c. and concluded the solemnity. Had some freedom ; but
not equal to what I enjoyed before : yet in the prayer the Lord
enabled me to cry, I hope with a child-like temper, with tender-
ness and brokenness of heart. — Came home with Mr Beaty to
his lodgings ; and spent the time, while riding, and afterwards,
very agreeably on divine things.
April 23. ''Left Mr. Beaty 's and returned home to the
Forks of Delaware ; enjoyed some sweet meditations on the
road ; and was enabled to lift up my heart to God in prayer and
praise."
.•n
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 189
^ The two next days he speaks of much bodily disorder, but of
some degrees of spiritual assistance and freedom.
April 26. " Conversed with a Christian friend with some
warmth ; and felt a spirit of mortification to the world, in a very
great degree. Afterwards, was enabled to pray fervently, and to
rely on God sweetly, for " all things pertaining to life and god-
liness.^^ Just in the evening, was visited by a dear Christian
friend, with whom I spent an hour or two in conversation, on
the very soul of religion. There are many with whom I can
talk about religion; but alas! I find few with whom I can
talk religion itself; but blessed be the Lord there are some
that love to feed on the kernel, rather than the shell. ^^
The next day^ he went to the Irish settlement, often be-
fore mentioned, about fifteen miles distant ; where he spent
the Sabbath^ and preached with some considerable assist-
ance.
On Monday^ he returned, in a very weak state to his own
lodgings.
" April 30. Was scarce able to walk about, and was obli-
ged to betake myself to bed, much of the day ; and passed
away the time in a very solitary manner ; being neither able
to read, meditate, nor pray, and had none to converse with
in that wilderness. O how heavily does time pass awav, when
I can do nothing to any good purpose ; but seem obliged to
trifle away precious time ! But of late, I have seen it my
dntv to divert myself by all lawful means, that I maybe fit,
at least some small part of my time, to labour for God.
And here is the difference between my present diversions,
and those I once pursued, when in a natural state. Then
I made a god of diversions, delighted in them with a ne-
glect of God, and drew my highest satisfaction from them.
Now I use them as means to help me in living to God ; fix-
edly delighting in Am, and not in them, drawing my highest
satisfaction from him. Then they were my ml; now they
are only means leading to my all. And those things that
are the greatest diversion, when pursued with this view, do
not tend to hinder, but promote my spirituality; and I sec
now, more than ever, that they are absolutely necessary.
May 1. " Was not able to sit up more than half the day :
and yet I had such recruits of strength sometimes, that I was
able to write a little on a divine subject. Was grieved that I
could no more live to God. In the evening, had some sweet*
ness and intenseness in secret prayer.
May 2, " In the evening, being a little better in health, 1
190 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
walked into the woods, and enjoyed a sweet season of medi-
tation and prayer. My thoughts ran upon Ps. xvii. 15. 1
shall be satisfied^ when I awdke^ with thy likeness. And it
was indeed a precious text to me. I longed to preach to the
whole world ; and it seemed to me, they must needs all be
melted in hearing such precious divine truths, as I then had a
view and relish of. My thoughts were exceeding clear, and my
soul was refreshed. Blessed be the Lord, mat in my late
and present weakness, now for many days together, my mind
is not gloomy, as at some other times.
May. 3. " Felt a little vigour of body and mind, in the
morning ; and had some freedom, strength and sweetness in
prayer. Rode to, and spent some time with my Indians. In
the evening, again retiring into the woods, I enjoyed some
sweet meditations on Isa. liii. 1. Yet it pleased the Lord to
bruise him^ &c.'"
The three next days were spent in much weakness of body :
but yet he enjoyed some assistance in public and private duties:
and seems to have remained free from melancholy.
May 7. '^ Spent the day mainly in making preparations for
a journey into the wilderness. Was still we&, and concerned
how I should perform so difficult a journey. Spent some time
in prayer for the divine blessing, airection, and protection in
my intended journey ; but wanted bodily strength to spend the
day in fasting and prayer."
The next day^ he set out on his journey to the Susquehannah,
with his interpreter. He endured great hardships and fatigues
in his way thither through a hideous wilderness ; where, after
having lodged one night in the open woods, he was overtaken
vnth a northeasterly storm, in which he was almost ready to pe-
rish. Having no manner of shelter, and not being able to make
a fire in so great a rain, he could have no comfort if he stopt ;
therefore he determined to go forward in hopes of meeting with
some shelter, without which he thought it impossible to live the
night through ; but their horses — happening to eat poison, for
the want of other food, at a place where they lodged the night
before — were so sick, that they could neither ride nor lead them,
but were obliged to drive them, and travel on foot ; until, through
the mercy of God, just at dusk, they came to a bark hut, where
they lodged that night. After he came to the Susquehannah, he
travelled about a hundred miles on the river, and visited many
towns and settlements of the Indians ; saw some of seven or
eight tribes, and preached to different nations, by different inter-
preters. He was sometimes much discouraged, and sunk in his
MEMOIRS or BRA1N£IID. 191
•
spirits, through the opposition which appeared in the Indians to
Christianity. At other times, he was encouraged by the disposi-
tion which some of these people manifested to hear, and willing-
ness to be instructed. He here met with some who had formerly
been his hearers at Kaunaumeck, and had removed hither ; who
saw and heard him again with great joy. He spent a fortnight
among the Indians on this river, and passed through considera-
ble labours and hardships, frequently lodging on the ground,
and sometimes in the open air. At length he felt extremely ill,
as he was riding in the wilderness, being seized with an ague,
followed with a burning fever, and extreme pains in his head
and bowels, attended with a great evacuation of blood ; so that
he thought he must have perished in the wilderness. But at last
coming to an Indian trader^s hut, he got leave to stay there ;
and though without physic or food proper for him, it pleased
God, after about a week's distress, to relieve him so far that he
was able to ride. He returned homewards from Juncauta, an
island far down the river ; where was a considerable number of
Indians, who appeared more free from prejudices against
Christianity, than most of the other Indians. He arrived at
the Forks of Delaware on Thursday^ May 30, after having rode
in this journey about three hundred and forty miles. He came
home in a very weak state, and under dejection of mind ; which
was a great hinderance to him in religious exercises. Howe-
ver, on the Sabbath, after having preached to the Indians, he
preached to the white people, with some success, from Is. liii. 10.
Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him^ cjrc, some being awakened
by his preaching. The next day, he was much exercised for
want of spiritual life and fervency.
June 4. " Towards evening, was in distress for God's pre-
sence, and a sense of divine things : withdrew myself to the
woods, and spent near an hour in prayer and meditation ; and
1 think, the Lord had compassion on me, and gave me some
sense of divine things ; which was indeed refreshing and quick-
ening to me. My soul enjoyed intenseness and freedom in
prayer, so that it grieved me to leave the place.
June 5, " Felt thirsting desires after God, in the morning.
In the evening, enjoyed a precious season of retirement : was
favoured with some clear and sweet meditations upon a sacred
text ; divine things opened with clearness and certainty, and
had a divine stamp upon them. My soul was also enlarged and
refreshed in prayer ; I delighted to continue in the duty ; and
was sweetly assisted in praying for my fellow-christians, and my
dear brethren in the ministry. Blessed be the dear Lord for
such enjoyments. O how sweet and precious it is, to have a
clear apprehension and tender sense of the mystery of godH*
ness^ of true holiness, and of likeness to the best of beings !
192 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
O what a blessedness it is, to be as much Hke God, as it is pos-
sible for a creature to be like his great Creator! Lord give me
more of thy likeness ; ^^ I shall be satisfied, when I awake,
with it."
June 6. " Was engaged, a considerable part of the day, in
meditation and study on divine subjects. Enjoyed some spe-
cial freedom, clearness, and sweetness in meditation. O how
refreshing it is, to be enabled to improve time well !"
The next dny^ he went a journey of near fifty miles, to Ne-
shaminy, to assist at a sacramental occasion, to be attended at
Mr. Beaty's meeting-house ; being invited thither by him and
his people.
June 8. "Was exceedingly weak and fatigued with riding
in the heat yesterday : but being desired, I preached in the
afternoon, to a crowded audience, fi-om Is. xl. 1. " Comfort
ye, comfort ye my people, saithyour God." God was pleased
to give me great freedom,*^, in opening the sorrows oi God^i
people, and in setting before them comforting considerations.
And, blessed be the Lord, it was a sweet melting se9.son in
the assembly.
Lord^s day^ June 9. " Felt some longing desires of the
presence of God to be with his people on the solemn occasion
of the day. In the forenoon Mr. Beaty preached ; and there
appeared some warmth in the assembly. Afterwards, I assist-
ed in the administration of the Lord's supper : and towards
the close of it, I discoursed to the multitude extempore, with
some reference to that sacred passage, Is. liii. 10. " Yet it
pleased the Lord to bruise him." Here God gave me great as-
sistance in addressing sinners : and the word was attended
with amazing power ; many scores, if not hundreds, in that
great assembly, consisting of three or four thousand, were
much affected ; so that there was a " very great mourninff,
like the mourning of Hadadrimmon." — In the evening, I could
hardly look any body in the face, because of the imperifections
I saw in my performances in the day past.
June 10. " Preached with a good degree of clearness and
some sweet warmth, from Psal. xvii. 15. " I shall be satisfied,
vi^hen I awake, with thy likeness." And blessed be God, there
was a great solemnity and attention in the assembly, and sweet
refreshment among God's people ; as was evident then, and
afterwards.
June 11. " Spent the day mainly in conversation with dear
Christian friends; and enjoyed some sweet sense of divine
things. O how desirable it is, to keep company with God's
dear children ! These are the " excellent ones of the earth, in
whom," I can truly sav, " is all my delight." O what delight
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 193
irill it aftbrd, to meet them all in a state of perfection ! Lord,
)repare me for that state.'^
The next day^ he left Mr. Beaty's and went to Maiden-
lead, in New Jersey ; and spent the next seven days in a
comfortable state of mind, visiting several ministers m those
parts.
June 18. " Set out from New Brunswick with a design to
risit some Indians at a place called Crossweeksung^ in New
Jersey, towards the sea.* In the afternoon, came to a place
callea Cranberry^ and meeting with a serious minister, Mr.
Macknight, I lodged there with him. Had some enlargement
and freedom in prayer with a number of people.
^ Braiiterd having, when at Boston, written and left with a friend, a brief
relation of facts touching his labours with the Indians, and reception among
them, daring the space of time between November 5, 1744,' and June 19. 1745,
(with a view to connect his VWerra/ive, uddressed to Mr. Pemberton, and hia
Joumali in case they should ever be reprinted) concludes the same with this
pasage ; '* As my body was very feeble, so my mind was scarce ever so much
dampied and discouraged about the conversion of the Indians, as at this time.
JUid in this state of body and mind I made my first visit to the Indians in New
Jersey, where Qod was pleased to display his power and grace in the remarka-
"ble manner that I have represented in my printed Journal."
Vol. Xr '^5
CHAPTER VII.
From the commencement of his residence at Crossweekswtg, .
to the close of the first part of his Journals
We are now come to that ^art of Braikerd^s life, when he
had the greatest success in his labours for the good of soub,
and in his particular business as a Missionary to the Indians.
Long had he agonized in prayer, and travailed in birth for
their conversion. Often had he cherished the hope of wit-
nessing that desirable event ; only to find that hope yield to
fear, and end in disappointment. But after a patient continu-
ance in prayer, in labour, and in suffering, as it were throu^ a
long night, at length he is permitted to behold the dawning of
the day. ^' Weeping continues for a night ; but joy comes in
the morning.^^ He went forth weeping, beanng precioas
seed ; and now he comes rejoicing, brmgmg his sheaves with
him. The desired event is brought to pass at last ; but at a
time, in a place, and upon subjects, which scarcely ever entered
into his heart.
An account of this was originally published in his Journal ;
consisting of extracts from his Diary during one year of his resi-
dence at Crossweeksung. Those extracts are now incorpo-
rated with the rest of his Diary for the same period in regular
chronological order.
The foTlowinff Preface, by the correspondents, introduced
the Journal to the notice of its readers, and deserves an inser-
tion in the present volume.
" The design of this publication is to give God the glory of
his distinguishing grace, and gratify the pious curiosity of
those who are waiting and praying for that blessed time, when
the Son of God, in a more extensive sense than has yet been
accomplished, shall receive " the Heathen for his inheritance,
and the uttermost parts of the earth for a possession.
*' Whenever any of the guilty race of mankind are awakened
to a just concern for their eternal interest, are humbled at the
footstool of a sovereign God, and are persuaded and enabled
to accept the offers of redeeming love, it must always be ac-
knowledged a Wonderful work of divine grace, which demands
oTir thankful prniscp. But doubtless it is a more affecting evi-
MEMOIRS OF UKAI.NEK1>. l\)o
dence of almighty power, a more illustrious display of sovereign
mercy, when those are enlightened with the knowledge of sal-
vation, who have for many ages dwelt in the grossest darkness
and Heathenism, and are brought to a cheenul subjection to
the government of our divine Redeemer, who from generation
to generation had remained the voluntary slaves of ^^ the prince
of darkness/*
'^ This is that delightful scene which will present itself to the
reader^s view, while he attentively peruses the following pages.
Nothing certainlv can be more agreeable to a benevolent and
' religious mind, than to see those that were sunk in the most de-
S^nerate state of human nature, at once, not only renounce
ose barbarous customs they had been inured to from their in-
fancy, but surprisingly transformed into the character of real
and devout Christians.
^ This mighty change was brought about bv the plain and
faithful preaching of me gospel, attended with an uncommon
efiiision of the divine Spirit, under the ministry of the Reve-
rend David Brainerd, a Missionary employed by the Honour-
Me Society in Scotland, for propoigating Christian Know-
ledge.
^ And surely it will administer abundant matter of praise
and ihanksgicing to that honourable body, to find that their
generoos attempt to send the gospel among the Indian nations
upon the borders of New Yonc, New Jersey, and Pennsylva-
nia, ha» met with such surprising success.
*^ It would perhaps have been more agreeable to the taste ot
politer readers, if tfie following Journal had been cast into a
different method, and formed into one connected narrative.
Bat the worthy author amidst his continued labours, had no
time to spare for such an undertaking. Besides, the pious
reader will take a peculiar pleasure to see this work described
in its native simphcity, and the operations of the Spirit upon
the minds of these poor benighted Pagans, laid downjust in
the method and order in which they happened. This, it
most be confessed, will occasion frequent repetitions; but
these, as they tend to give a fuller view of this amazing dis-
pensation of divine grace in its rise and progress, we trust, will
oe eairily fiHgiven.
^Wten we see such numbers of the most ignorant and
barbaioiis of mankind, in the space of a few months, ^* turned
fimn darkness to light, and from the power of sin and Satan
nnto God,^ it gives us encourajgement to wait and oray for that
blessed time, idien our victorious Redeemer shall, in a more
s^nal manner than he has yet done, display the ^ banner of
his cross," march on from ^' conquering to conquer, till the
kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord
and of his Christ." Yea, we cannot but liflt up our heads with
196 MKMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.
i
joy, and hope that it may be the dawn of that bright and illus-
tnous day, when the Sun of Righteousness shsiil '^ arise and
shine from one end of the earth to the other ;" when, to use
the language of the inspired prophets, *^ the Gentiles shall
come to his Hght, and kings to the brightness of his rising;^'
in consequence of which, ^^ the wilderness and solitary places
shall be glad, and the desert rejoice and blossom as the rose.*'
^' It is doubtless the duty of all, in their different stations,
and according to their respective capacities; to use their utr
most endeavours to bring forward this promised, this desired
day. There is a great want of schoolmasters among these
christianized Indians, to instruct their youth in the EngUsh
language^ and the principles of the christian faith — ^for this,
as yet, there is no certain provision made ; if any are inclined
to contribute to so good a design, we are persuaded they will
do an acceptable service to the ^^ kingdom of the Redeemer/'
And we earnestly desire the most indigent to join, at least, in
their wishes and prayers, that this work may prosper more and
more, till the " whole earth is filled with the glory of the Lord."
" Crossweeksung^ June^ 1745.
June 19. '^ I had spent most of my time, for more than a
year past, amqng the Indians at the Forks of Delaware in
Pennsylvania. During that time I made two journeys to the
Susquehannah to treat with the Indians on that river respect-
ing Christianity ; and, not having had any considerable ap
pearance of special success in either of those places, my
spirits were depressed, and I was not a little discouraged.
Hearing that there were a number of Indians at a place c^led
Crossweeksung^ in New Jersey, nearly eighty miles south-east
from the Forks of Delaware, I determined to make them a
visit, and see what might be done towards christianizing them;
and accordingly arrived among them on Wednesday^ June
19th, 1745.
" I found very few persons at the place which I visited, and
perceived that the Indians in these parts were very much
scattered. There were not more than two or three families in
a place ; and these small settlements, six, ten, fifteen, twenty
and thirty miles, and some more from that place. However,
I preached to those few I found ; who appeared well disposed,
serious and attentive, and not inclined to cavil and object, as
the Indians had done elsewhere. When I had concluded my
discourse, I informed them, there being none but a few
women and children, that I would willingly visit them again
the next day. Whereupon they readily set out and travelled
ten or fifteen miles, in order to give notice to some of their
friends at that distance. These women, like the woman of
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 197
Samaria, seemed desirous that others should see the man, who
had told them what they had done in their past lives, and the
misery that attended their idolatrous ways. At night was
worn out, and scarcely able to walk, or sit up. O ! how tire-
some is earth ; how dull the body !
June 20. ^ Visited and preached to the Indians again as I
proposed. Numbers were gathered at the invitations of their
firiends, who had heard me the day before. These also ap-
peared as attentive, orderly and well disposed as the others :
and none made any objections, as Indians in other places have
usually done. Towards night preached to the Indians again,
and had more hearers than before. In the evening enjoyed
some peace and serenity of mind, and comfort and composure
in prayer, alone ; and was enabled to lift up my head with
some degree of joy, under an apprehension that my redemp-
tion draws nigh. O ! blessed be God that there remains a rest
to his poor weary people !
Time 21. "Rode to Freehold to see Mr. William Tennent,
and spent the day comfortably with him. My sinking spirits
were a little raised and encouraged ; and I felt my soul breath-
ing after God, in the midst of christian conversation ; and in
the evening was refreshed in secret prayer ; saw myself a poor
worthless creature, without wisdom to direct or strength to
help myselfl — O blessed be God, who lays me under a happy,
a blessed necessity of living upon himself!
June 22. " About noon rode to the Indians again, and next
night preached to them. Found my body much strengthened,
and was enabled to speak with abundant plainness and
warmth. Their number, which at first consisted of seven or
eight persons, was now increased to nearly thirty. There was
not only a solemn attention among them, but some considera-
ble impression, it was apparent, was made upon their minds
by divine truth. Some began to feel their misery, and perish-
ing state, and appeared concerned for a deliverance from it.
The power of God evidently attended the word ; so that
several persons were brought under great concern for their
souls, and made to shed many tears, and to wish for Christ to
save them. My soul was much refreshed and quickened in
my work : and I could not but spend much time with them in
order to open both their misery and their remedy. This was
indeed a sweet afternoon to me. While riding, before I came
to the Indians, my spirits were refreshed, and my soul enabled
to cry to<jod almost incessantly, for many miles together. In
the evening, also, I found that the consolations of God were
not small. I was then willing to live, and in some respects
desirous of it, that I might do something for the dear kingdom
of Christ ; and yet death appeared pleasant ; so that I was in
some measure in a strait between two ; having a desire to de-
198 MEMOIRS OF BRAINfiRD.
part. I am often weary of this world, and want to leave it on
that account ; but it is desirable to be drawn, rather than
driven out of it.
Lard^s dau^ June 33. ^' Preached to the Indians, and spent
the day with them. Their number still increased ; and all
with one consent, pmed^o rejoice in my coming among
them. Not a word < mMserosition was heard from any of them
against Christianity, - ough in times past they had been as
much opposed to an» thing of that nature, as any Indians
whatsoever. Some o^ . hem, not many months before, were
enraged with my intei* .eter, because he attempted to teach
them something of Christianity.
June 24. ^^ Preached to the Indians at their desire, and upon
their own motion. 1 see poor Pagans desirous of hearing
the gospel of Christ, animated me to discourse to them ; at
though 1 was now very weakly, and my spirits much exhausted.
They attended with the greatest seriousness and diHgenoe ;
and some concern for their souls^ salvation was apparent
among them.
June 27. ^^ Visited and preached to the Indians a^ain. Their
number now amounted to about forty persons. Then: solemnity
and attention still continued, and a considerable concern finr
their souls became very apparent among numbers of diem.
My soul rejoiced to find, that God enabled me to be faitbfiil,
and that he was pleased to awaken these poor Indians by my
means. O how heart-reviving and soul refreshing it is to me,
to see the fruit of my labours I
June 28. " The Indians being now gathered, a considerable
number of them, from their several and distant habitations,
requested me to preach twice a day to them ; being desirous
to hear as much as they possibly could while I was with them.
I cheerfully complied with their request, and could not but
admire the goodness of God, who I was persuaded, had in-
clined them thus to inquire after the way of salvation.
'^ In the evening, my soul was revived, and my heart lifted
up to God in prayer for my poor Indians, myself, and friends,
and the dear church of God. O horw refreshing, how sweet
was this ! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his good-
ness and tender mercy !
June 29. ^^ Preached twice to the Indians ; and could not
but wonder at their seriousness, and the strictness of their at-
tention. Saw, as I thought, the hand of God very evidently,
and in a manner somewhat remarkable, making provision for
their subsistence together, in order to their being instructed in
divine things. For this day, and the day before, with only
walking a little way from the place of our daily meeting, they
killed three deer, which were a seasonable supply for their
wants, and without whichj they could not have subsisted
MEMOIRS OF BRAlN£Ri>. 199
together in order to attend the means of grace. Blessed be
God who has inclined their hearts to hear. O how refreshing
it is to me to see them attend, with such uncommon diligence
and affection, with tears in their eyes and concern in their
hearts ! In the evening, could not but lift up my heart to God
in prayer, while riding to my !'^'1«»'"^ ' -and, blessed be his
name, had assistance and freedoml'^d ?. ^w much better than
life is the presence of God ! ' *
jLord*s day^ June 30. " Preached t tfce this day also. Ob-
served yet more concern and affection Hiong the poor Heath-
ens than ever ; so that they even co^^rained me to tarry yet
longer with them, although my c^^titution was exceedingly
worn out, and my health much impaired by my late fatigues
and labours; and especially by myfate ibumey to Susquehan-
nah in May last, in which I lodged on the ground for several
weeks together.
July 1. " Preached again twice to a very serious and atten-
tive assembly of Indians ; they having now learned to attend
the worship of God with christian decency in. all respects.
There were now between forty and fifty persons of them
present, old and young. I spent a considerable time in dis-
coursing with them in a more private way ; inquiring of them
what they remembered of the great truths which had been
taught them from day to day; and may justly say, it was
amazing to see how they had received and retained the in-
structions given them, and what a measure of knowledge some
of them had acquired in a few days.
Jtdy 3. " Was obliged to leave these Indians at Crossweek-
sun^, thinking it my duty as soon as my health would admit,
agam to visit those at the Forks of Delaware. When I came
to take leave of them and to speak particularly to each of
them, they all earnestly inquired when I would come again,
and expressed a great desire of being further instructed. Of
their own accord they agreed, that when I should come again,
they would all meet and live together, during my continuance
with them ; and that they would use their utmost endeavours
to gath^ all the other Indians in these parts who wer^* -^*
more remote. When I parted from them, on^ /d^ apoftryet
many tear,,..'^^he„.wisJbe5 ^i^ would'^k^rTr Tem -
S\';k*tf "''*" ^."l*«^ *° fi"^ Christ;" Ind an old mai.
for L souf ? tZ ""^ the,r chiefs, wept bitterly with concern
hoow! , ,.' . P'o™«ed them to return as speedily as mv
na^nfT ""^ Parting, lest the good impressions, then ap-
Cn thr° °"™''^ °^ *'*«™' ™'S'^t d««J^« ^d 'wear S,
SS He whn ?f ""Tf ^. l"*^^- Yet I could not but hope
aSd who T^nf ^"^T^^ ^"^ ^^?"" "" g°od "'o* a«»on« them
and who, I knew, did not stand in need of means to cany it
2U0 inCMOlRS or BRAINERD.
on, would maintain and promote it. At the same time, I must
confess, that I had often seen encouraging appearances amons
the Indians elsewhere, prove wholly abortive, and it appeared
that the favour would be too great, if God should now, after I
had passed through so considerable a series of almost fruitless
labours and fatigues, and after my rising hopes had been so
often frustrated among these poor pasans, give me any special
success in my labours with them, I could not believe, and
scarcely dared to hope, that the event would be so happy ;
and scarcely ever found myself more suspended between hope
and fear in any affair, or at any time, than in this.
'^ This encouraging disposition, and readiness to receive in-
struction, now apparent among the Indians, seems to have
been the happy effect of the conviction which one or two of
them met with, sometime since at the Forks of Delaware : who
have since endeavoured to show their friends the evil of idolar
try. Though the other Indians seemed but little to regard,
and rather to deride, them : yet this, perhaps, has put them into
a thinking posture of mind, or at least, given them some
thoughts about Christianity, and excited in some of them a cu-
riosity to hear ; and so made way for the present encouraging
attention. An apprehension that this mignt be the case, here,
has given me encouragement that God may, in such a manner,
bless the means which I have used with the Indians in other
places ; where, as yet, there is no appearance of it. If so,
may his name have the glory of it : for I have learnt, by ex-
perience, that he only can open the ear, engage the attention,
and incline the hearts of poor benighted, prejudiced pagans to
receive instruction.
" Rode from the Indians to Brunswick, nearly forty miles and
lodged there. Felt my heart drawn after God in prayer, almost
all the forenoon, especially in riding. In the evening, I could
not help crying to God for those poor Indians ; and, after I
went to bed, my heart continued to go out to God for them till
I dropped asleep. O, blessed be God, that I may pray !"
_^wns now so fatigued by constant preaching to these
T ?*n%sMfiS ^^ ^'^^^'^ importunate desires, that he found it
necessSy to^i'^TinJISeffsOT^^ He spent, therefore,
nbout a week in New Jersey, after he left the Indians : visitmg
several ministers, and performing some necessary business, De-
fore he went to the Forks of Delaware. Though he was weak
in body, yet he seems to have been strong in spirit. Uniriaay,
July 12, he arrived at his own house in the Forks of Delaware ;
continuing still free from melancholy ; from day to day enjoy-
ing freedom, assistance, and refreshment in the inner man.
But on Wednesday, the next week, beseems to have had some
MEMOIRS or BRAINERD. 201
melancholy thoughts about his doing so little for God, being
so much hindered by weakness of body.
" Forks of Delaware^ in Pennsylvania^ July 1745.
Lord's day^ July 14. " Discoursed to the Indians twice.
Several of them appeared concerned, and were, I have reason
to think, in some measure convinced by the Divine Spirit, of
their, sin and misery ; so that they wept much the whole time
of divine service. Afterwards, discoursed to a number of white
people then present.
July ,18. " Preached to my people, who attended diligently
beyond what had been common among these Indians : and
some of them appeared concerned for their souls. Longed to
spend the little inch of time I have in the world, more for God.
Felt a spirit of seriousness, tenderness, sweetness and devotion ;
and wished io spend the whole night in prayer and communion
with God.
Jtdy 19. '^ In the evening, walked abroad for prayer and me-
ditation, and enjoyed composure and freedom in these sweet
exercises, especially in meditation on Rev. iii. 12: ^^Him that
overcoBieth, will I make a pillar in the temple of my God.^^
&c. This was^ then a delightful theme to me, and it refreshed
my soul to dwell on it. O when shall I go no more out from
the service and enjoyment of the dear Redeemer ! Lord hasten
the blessed day !
Lords day^ July 21. " Preached to the Indians first; then
to a number of white people present ; and in the afternoon, to
the Indians again. Divine truth seemed to make very consider-
able impressions upon several of them, and caused the tears to
flow freely. Afterwards 1 baptized my Interpreter^ and his
toife^ who were the first whom I baptized among the Indians.
" They, are both persons of some e^rpenwien^a/knowledge in
religion ;* have both been awakened to a solemn concern for
their souls ; have to appearance, been brought to a sense of
their misery, and undoneness in themselves; have both appeared
to be comforted with divine consolations; and it is apparent
that both have passed a. ^reof and I cannot but hope, a saving,
change. It may perhaps be satisfactory and agreeable, that
I should give some brief relation of this man's exercises
and experience, since he has been with me ; especially
since he is employed as my Interpreter to others. When 1
first employed him in this business, in the beginning of the sum-
mer of 1744, he was well fitted for his work, in regard to his
acquaintance with the Indian and English languages, as well
as with the manners of both nations ; and in regard to his de-
sire that the Indians should conform to the manners and cus-
toms of the English, and especially to their manner of living.
Vol. X. 26
iititi M£M01RS OF BKAlxN£RI>.
But he seemed to have little or no impression of religion upon
his mind, and in that respect was very tmfit for his work ; being
incapable of understanding and communicating to others many
things of importance, so that I laboured under great disadvan-
tages in addressing the Indians, for want of his havins an
experimental^ as well as more doctrinal acquaintance with di-
vine truths ; and, at times, my spirits sunk, and were much dis-
couraged under this difficulty ; especially when 1 observed that
divine truths made little or no impressions upon his mind for
many weeks together. He indeed behaved soberly after I em-
ployed him ; although before, he had been a hard arinker ; and
seemed honestly engaged, as far as he was capable, in the per-
formance of his work. Especially he appeared very desirous
that the Indians should renounce their heathenish notions and
«
Practices, and conform to the customs of the christian world,
iut still he seemed to have no concern about his own soul,
until he had been with me a considerable time.
" Near the latter end of July, 1744, 1 preached to an assembly
of white people, with more freedom and fervency than I oould
possibly address the Indians with, without their having first ob-
tained a greater measure of doctrinal knowledge. At this time
he was present, and was somewhat awakened to a concern for
his soul ; so that the next day, he discoursed freely with me
about his spiritual concerns, and gave me an opportunity to
use further endeavours to fasten the impressions of his perishing
state upon his mind. I could plainly perceive, for some time
after this, that he addressed the Indians with more concern mid
fervency than he had formerly done.
" But these impressions seemed quickly to decline ; and be,
remained^ in a great measure, careless and secure, until some
time late in the autumn of the year following ; when he fell into
a weak and languishing state of body; and continued much
disordered for several we^s together. At this season, divine
truth took hold of him, and made deep impressions upon his
mind. He was brought under great concern for his soul ; and
his exercises were not now transient and unsteady, but constant
and abiding, so that his mind was burdened from day to day ;
and it was now his great inquiry, " What he should do to be
saved ?" This spiritual trouble prevailed, until his sleep, in a
great measure, departed from him, and he had little rest day or
night ; but walked about under great pressure of mind, for he
was still able to walk, and appeared like another man to his
neighbours, who could not but observe his behaviour with
wonder. After he had been some time under this exercise,
while he was striving to obtain mercj^, he says there seemed to
be an impassable mountain before him. He was pressing to-
wards heaven, as he thought ; but " his way was hedged up
with thorns, so that he could not stir an inch further. " He look-
MEMOIRS OF BRAIN'eRD. 203
ed tliis way and that way, but could find no way* at all. He
thought if he could but make his way through these thorns and
briers, and climb up the first steep pitch of the mountain, that
then there might be hope for him ; but no way or means could
he find to accomplish this. Here he laboured for a time, but
all in vain. He saw it was impossible^ he says, for him ever to
help himself through this insupportable difficulty. " It signifi-
ed just nothing at all for him to struggle and strive anymore."
Here, he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a gone
case with him, as to his own power, and that all his attempts
were, and for ever would be, vain and fruitless. Yet he was
more calm and composed under this view of things, than he
had been while striving to help himself.
" While he was giving me this account of his exercises, I was
not without fears, that what he related was but the working of
his own imagination^ and not the effect of any divine illumtna-
tion of mind. But, before I had time to discover my fears, he
added, that at this time he felt himself in a miserable and perish-
ing condition : that he saw plainly what he had been doing all
his days ; and. that he had never done one good things as he ex-
presses it He knew he was not guilty of some wicked actions,
of which he knew some others guilty. He had not been ac-
customed to steal, quarrel, and murder ; the latter of which
vices is common among the Indians. He likewise" knew that
he had done many things that were right ; he had been kind to
his neighbours, &c. " But still, his cry was, that he had never,
done one good thing,'*'* "I knew," said he, "that I had not
been so bad as some others in some things ; and that I had
done many things which folks call good"; but all this did me
no good now. I saw that all was bad, and that I had never
done one good thing ;". meaning that he had never done any
thing from a right principle, and with a right view^ though he
had, done many thmgs that were materially good and right.
" And now, I thought," said he, " that I must sink down to
hell ; that there was no hope for me, because I never could
do any thing that was good :" and if God let me alone ever 4S0
long, and. I should try ever so much, still I should do nothing
but what is bad."
" This further account of his exercises satisfied me, that it
was not the mere working of, his imagination ; since he ap-
peared so evidently to die to himself, and to be divorced from
a dependence upon his own righteousness, and good deeds, to
which mankind, in a fallen state, are so much attached ; and
upon which they are so ready to hope for salvation,
" There was one thing more in his view of things at this
time, which was very reniarkable. He not only saw, he says,
what a miserable st^te he himself was in, but he likewise saw
that the world around him^ in general, were in the same perish^
204 M£m)lAS OF BRAISLB.U.
ing circumstances, notwithstanding the profession which many
of them made of Christianity, and the hope which they enter-
tained of obtaining everlasting happiness. This he saw clear-
ly, as if he was now waked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken
from his eyes." He saw that the life which he had lived was
the way to eternal death, that he was now on the brink of end-
less misery ; and when he looked around he saw multitudes of
others, who had lived the same life with himself, persons who
had no more goodness than he, and yet dreamed that they were
safe enough, as he had formerly done. He was fully persuaded,
by their conversation and behaviour, that they had never fell
their sin and misery, as he now felt his.
" After he had been for some time in this condition, sensible
of the impossibility of helping himself by any thing which he
could do, or of being delivered by any created arm ; so that he
had " given up all for lost," as to his own attempts, and was
become more calm and composed ; then, he says, it was borne
in upon his mind, as if it had been audibly spoken to him,
" There is hope, there is hope." Whereupon his soul seemed
to rest, and he in some measure satisfied, though he bad no
considerable joy.
" He cannot here remember distinctly any views he had of
Christ, or give any clear account of his soul's acceptance of
him, which makes his experience appear the more doubtful,
and renders it less satisfactory to himself and others than it
might be, if he could remember distinctly the apprehensions
and actings of his mind at this season. — But these exercises of
soul were attended and followed with a very great change in
the man ; so that it might justly be said he was become another
man^ if not a new man. His conversation and deportment
were much altered ; and even the careless world could not but
wonder what had befallen him, to make so great a change in
his temper, discourse, and behaviour. Especially there was a
surprising alteration in his public performances. He now ad-
dressed the Indians with admirable fervency, and scarcely knew
when to leave off. Sometimes, when I had concluded my dis-
course and was returning homeward, he would tarry behind to
repeat and inculcate what had been spoken.
" His change is abiding^ and his life, so far as I know, un-
blemished to this day ; though it is now more than six months
since he experienced this change ; in which space of time he
has been as much exposed to strong drink as possible, in divers
places where it has been moving as free as water ; and yet has
never, that I know of, discovered any hankering desire after it
He seems to have a very considerable experience of spiritual
exercise^ and discourses feelingly of the conflicts and consola-
tions of a real Christian. His heart echoes to the soul-hum-
bling doctrines of grace, and he never appears better pleased
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. '205
than when he hears of the absolute sovereignty of God^ and
the salvation of sinners in a way of mere free grace. He has
lately had also more satisfaction respecting his own state ; and
has been much enlightened and assisted in his work ; so that
he has been a great comfort to me.
" After a strict observation of his serious and savoury con-
versation, his christian temper, and unblemished behaviour for
such a length of time, as well as his experience, of which I
have given an account ; I think that I have reason to hope
Jhat he is " created anew in Christ Jesus to good works." His
name is Moses Finda Fautaury. He is about fifty years of
age, and is pretty well acquainted with the pagan notions and
customs of his countrymen ; and so is the better able now to
expose them. He has, I am persuaded, already been, and I
trust will yet be, a blessing to the other Indians.
July 23. ^^ Preached to the Indians, but had few hearers :
Those who of late are constantly at home, seem, of late, to be
under some impressions of a religious nature.
July 26. " Preached to my people, and afterwards baptized
my interpreter^ children. In the evening, God was pleased to
help me in prayer, beyond what I have experienced for some
time. Especially, my soul was drawn out for the encourage-
ment of Christ^s kingdom, and for the conversion of my poor
people; and my soul relied on God for the accomplishment of
that great work. How sweet were the thoughts of death to
me at this time ! How I longed to be with Christ, to be em-
ployed in the glorious work of angels, and with an angePs
vigour and delight ! Yet how willing was I to stay awhile on
earth, that I might do something, if the Lord pleased for his
interest in the world. My soul, my very soul, longed for the
ingathering of the poor Heathen ; and I cried to God most
willingly and heartily. I could not but cry. This was a sweet
season ; for I had some lively taste of Heaven, and a temper of
mind suited in some measure to the employments and entertain-
ments of it. My soul was grieved to leave the place ; but my
body was weak and worn out, and it was nearly nine o'clock.
I longed that the remaining part of life might be filled up with
more fervency and activity in the things of God. O the inward
peate, composure^ and god-like serenity of such a frame !
Heaven must diiSer from this only in degree, not in kind. Lord !
ever. give me this bread of life.
Lwtl^s day, July 28. " Preached again, and found my people,
at least some of them, more thoughtful than ever about their
souPs concerns. I was told by some, that their seeing my in-
terpreter, and others, baptized, made them more concerned
than any thing they had ever seen or heard before. There
was, incleed, a considerable appearance of divine power among
iOQ MEM0IR6 OF BRAINERD.
them, while the ordinance was administered. May that divine
influence spread and increase more abundantly !
" In the evening, my soul was melted, and my heart broken,
with a sense of past barrenness and deadness. — O how I then
longed to live to God, and bring forth much fruit to his glory I
July 29. "Was much exercised with a sense of vileness, with
guilt and shame, before God.
" Discoursed to a number of my people, and gave them some
particular advice and direction ; bemg now about to leave t&em,
for the present, in order to renew my visit to the Indians in
New-Jersey. They were very attentive to my discourse^ and
, earnestly desirous to know when I designed to return to them
again.^'
On Wednesday^ July 31, he set out on his return to Cr<^8-
weeksung, and arrived there the next day. In his way thither,
he had longing desires, that he might come to the Indians
there in the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ, at-
tended with a sense of his own great weakness, dependence,
and worthlessness.
(;
Crossweeksung^ {New-Jersey^) August, 1745.
August 2. " In the evening, I retired, and my soul was drawn
out in prayer to God ; especrally for my poor people, to whom
I had sent word that they might gather together, that I mi^ht
preach to them the next day. I was much enlarged in praymg
for their saving conversion ; and scarcely ever fouiid my desires
of any thing of this nature so sensibly and clearly, to nay own
satisfaction, disinterested, and free from selfish views. It seem-
ed to me I had no care, or hardly any desire, to be the instru-
ment of so glorious a work as I wished and prayed ff>r among
the Indians. If the blessed work might be accomplished to
the honour of God, and the enlargement of the dear Redeem-
er's kingdom ; this was all my desire and care ; and for this
mercy I Hoped, but with trembling ; for I felt what Job ex-
presses, chap, ixtb, 16th, " If I had called, and he had answer-
ed me, yet would I not believe that he had hearkened unto my
voice." My rising hopes, respecting the conversion of the In-
dians, have been so often dashed, that my spirit is, as it were,
broken, and my courage wasted, and I hardly dare hope. I
visited the Indians in these parts in June last, and tarried with
them a considerable time, preaching almost daily : at which
season, God was pleased to pour upon them a spirit of awa-
kening, and concern for their souls, and surprisingly to engage
their attention to divine truths. I now found them serious, and
a number of them unddr deep concern for an interest in Christ.
Their convictions of their sinful and perishing state were, in
MEMO IKS OF BBAINERD. 007 •
my absence from them^ much promoted by the labours and en-
deavours of Rev. William Tennent ; to whom I had advised
ihem to apply for direction ; and whose house they frequented
much while 1 was gone. I preached to them this day with
some view to Rev. xxii. 17. " And whosoever will, let him
take of the water of life freely ;" though I could not pretend to
handle the subject methodically among them. The Lord, I
am persuaded, enabled me, in a manner somewhat uncommon,
to set before them the Lord Jesus Christ as a kind and com-
passionate S£^viour, inviting distressed and perishing sinners to
accept everlasting mercy. A surprising concern soon became
apparent among them. There were about twenty adult per-
sons together ; many of the Indians, at remote places, not ha-
ving, as yet, had time to come since my return hither ; and not
above two that I could see with dry eyes.
"Some were much concerned, and discovered vehement
longinffs of soul after Christ, to save them from the misery
they felt and feared.
Ldrd*s day, Aug. 4. " Being invited by a neighbouring mi-
nister, to assist in the administrati6n of the Lord^s supper, I
complied with his request, and took the Indians along with
me ; not only those who were together the day before, but
many more who were coming to hear me ; so that there were
nearly fifly in all, old and young. They attended the several
discourses of the day ; and, some of them, who could under-
stand English, were much affected ; and all seemed to have
.their concern in some measure raised.
" Now a change in their manners began to appear very visi-
ble. In the evening, when they came to sup together, they
would not take a morsel until they had sent to me to come and
supplicate a blessing on their food ; at which time, sundry df
them wept ; especially when I reminded them how they had,
in times past, eat their feasts in honour to devils, and neglected
to thank God for them.
August 5. " After a sermon had been preache3 by another
minister, I preached, and concluded the public work of the so*
lemnity from John viith, 37th. In the last day, &c. ; and, in my
discoiu^e, addressed the Indians in particular, who sat in a
. part of the house by themselves ; at which time, one or two of
them were' struck with deep concern, as they afterwards told
me, who had been little affected before ; and others had their
concern increased to a considerable" degree. In the evening,
the greater part of them being at the house where I lodged, I
discoursed to them ; and found them universally engaged about
their souls* concerns; inquiring "what they should do to be
saved." All their conversation among themselves, turned upon
religious matters, in which they were much assisted by my In-
terpreter, who was with them day and night, •
208 MEMOIRS OF BRAlNEEPr
^^ This day there was one woman, who had been much con-
cerned for her soul ever since she first heard me preach, in
June last, who obtained comfort, I trust, solid and well
grounded. She seemed to be filled with love to Christ At
the same time she behaved humbly and tenderly, and appeared
afraid of nothing so much as of oiSending and grieying him
whom her soul loved.
Aug. 6. ^^ In the morning I discoursed to the Indians at the
house where we lodged. Many of them were much aJBfected,
and appeared surprisingly tender ; so that a few words about
the concerns of their souls would cause the tears to flow
fi'eely, and produce many sobs and groans. — In the. afternoon,
they being returned to the place where I had usually preached
among them, I again discoursed to them there. There were
about ffty-jive persons in all ;. about jfor^y that were capable
of attendmg Divine service with understanding. I insisted on
1 John ivth, 10th. Herein is love^ d*c. They seemed eager
of hearing ; but there appeared nothing very remarkable, ex-
cept their attention, till near the close of my discourse ; and
then Divine truths were attended with a surprising influence,
and produced a great concern among them. There were
scarcely three in forty who could refrain from tears and bitter
cries. They all as one seemed in an agony of soul to obtain
an interest in Christ ; and the more I discoursed of the love
and compassion of God in sending his Son to suffer for the
sins of men ; and the more I invited them to come and par-
take of his love ; the more their distress was aggravated, be-
cause they felt themselves unable to come. It was surprising
to see how their hearts seemed to be pierced with the tender
and melting invitations of the gospel, when there was not a
word of terror spoken to them.
" There was this day two persons who obtained relief and
comfort ; which, when I came to discourse with them par-
ticularly, appeared solid, rational and scriptural. After I nad
inquired into the grounds of their comfort, and said many
things which I thought proper to them ; I asked them what
they wanted that God should do farther for them ? They re-
plied, " they wanted Christ should wipe their hearts quite
clean," &c. So surprising were now the doings of the Lord,
that I can say no less of this day, and I need say no more of
it, than that the arm of the Lord was powerfully and mar-
vellously revealed in it.
Aug. 7. " Preached to the Indians from Is. liii, 3 — 10.
There was a remarkable influence attending the. word, and
great concern in the assembly ; but scarcely equal to what
appeared the day before ; that is, not quit so universal. How-
ever, most were much affected, and many in great distress for
their souls ; and .some few could neither go nor stand, but lay
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 209
flat on the ground as if pierced at heart, crying incessantly for
xnercy. Several were newly awakened ; and it was remarka-
l>le that, as fast as they came from remote places round about,
the Spirit of God seemed to seize them with concern for their
souls. After public service was concluded, I found two per-
sons more who had newly met with comfort, of whom I had
^ood hopes ; and a third, of whom I could not but entertain
some hopes, whose case did not appear so clear as the others ;
so that there were now six in all, who had got some relief
from their spiritual distresses ; and five, whose experience ap-
peared very clear and satisfactory. It is worthy of remark,
that those who obtained comfort first, were in general deeply
affected with concern for their souls, when I preached to them
in June last.
Aug. 8. " In the afternoon I preached to the Indians, their
number was now about sixty-Jive persons ; men, women and
children. I discoursed upon Luke xiv. 16 — ^23, and was
&voured with uncommon freedom in my discourse. There
was much visible concern among them, while I was discours-
ing publicly ; but afterwards, when I spoke to one and an-
other more particularly, whom I perceived under much con-
cern, the power of God seemed to descend upon the assembly
" like a mighty nishing tvind^'*'' and with an astonishing energy
bore down all before it. I stood amazed at the influence,
which seized the audience almost universally ; and could com-
pare it to nothing more aptly, than the irresistible force of a
mighty torrent or swelhng deluge, that with its insupportable
weight and pressure bears down and sweeps before it what-
ever comes in its way. Almost all persons of all ages were
bowed down with concern together, and scarcely one was able
to withstand the shock of this surprising operation. Old men
and women, who had been drunken wretches for many years,
and some little children, not more than six or seven years of
age, appeared in distress for their souls, as well as persons of
middle age. It was apparent that these children, some of them
at least, were not merely frightened with seeing the general
concern ; but were made sensible of their danger, the bad-
ness of their hearts, and their misery, without Christ, as some
of them expressed it. The most stubborn hearts were now
obliged to bow. A principal man among the Indians, who
before was most secure and self-righteous, and thought his
state good, because he knew more than the generality of the
Indians had formerly done ; and who with a great degree of
confidence the day before told me '^ he had been a Christian
more than ten years ;" was now brought under solemn con-
cern for his soul, and wept bitterly. Another man advanced
in years, who had been a murderer, a pawaw or conjurer, and
a* notorious drunkard, was likewise brought now to cry for
Vol. X. 27
210 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.
mercy with many tears, and to complain much that he coii]d
be no more concerned when he saw his danger so Tery great.
^^ They were almost universally praying and crying for mer-
cy in every part of the house, and many out of doors ; and
numbers could neither go nor stand. Their concern was so
great, each one for himself, that none seemed to take any no-
tice of those about them, but each prayed freely fot himself.
I am led to think they were, to their own apprehetlsions, as
much retired as if they had been individually oy themselveg, in
the thickest desert ; or I believe rather that they thought nc^
thing about any thing but themselves, and their own state, and
so were every one praying apart, although all together. It
seemed to mo that there was now an exact fulfilment of diat
prophecy, Zech. xiith, 10, 11, 12 ; for there was now *• a great
mourning, like the mourning of Hadadrimmon ;^' — and each
seemed to '' mourn apart/^ Methought this had a near re*
semblance to the day of God^s power, mentioned Josh, xtlh
14 ; for I must say I never saw any day like iu in all respects :
it was a day wherein I am persuaded the Lord did tnnch to
destroy the kingdom of darkness among this people.
^^This concern, in general, was most rational and just*
Those who had been awakened any considerable time, com-
plained more especially of the badness of their hearts ; add
those who were newly awakened, of the badness of their Iwes
* and actions ; and all were afraid of the anger of God, and of
everlasting misery as the desert of their sins. Some of the
white people, who came out of curiosity to hear what *^ thi9
babbler would say" to the poor ignorant Indians, were much
awakened ; and some appeared to be wounded with a view of
their perishing state. Those who had lately obtained relief,
were filled with comfort at this season. They appeared calm
and composed, and seemed to rejoice in Chnst Jesus. Some
of them took their distressed friends by the hand, telling them
of the goodness of Christ, and the comfort that is to be enjoy-
ed in him ; and thence invited them to come and give up their
hearts to him. I could observe some of them, in the most
honest and unaffected manner, without any design of being
taken notice of, lifting up their eyes to heaven, as if crying for
mercy, while they saw the distress of the poor souls around
them. There was one remarkable instance of awakening this
day which I cannot fail to notice here. A young Indian
woman, who, I believe, never knew before that she had a soul,
nor ever thought of any such thing, hearing that there was
something strange among the Indians, came, it seems, to see
what was the matter. In her way to the Indians she called 9X
my lodgings ; and when 1 told her that I designed presently to
preach to the Indians, laughed, and seemed to mock ; but went
nowever to them. I had not proceeded far in my pabUo dis-
MJblMOlRi} OF BftAlNEAD. 211
course before she felt effectually that she had a soul; and, be-
fore I had concluded my discourse, was so convinced of her
sin and misery, and so distressed with concern for her douPs
salvation, that she seemed like one pierced through with a dart,
and cried out incessantly. She could neither go nor stand, nor
sit on her seat without being held up. After public service
was over, she lay flat on the ground, praying earnestly, and
would take no notice of, nor give any answer to, any who spoke
to her. I hearkened to hear what she said, and perceived the
burden of her prayer to be, ^^ Cruttummaukcdummeh wechaumeh
kmeleh Nolah^'*^ L e. ^^ Have mercy on me^ and kelp me to give
you mu heart,^^ Thus she continued praying incessantly for
many nours together. This was indeed a surprising day of
God's power, and seemed enough to convince an Atheist of
the truUi, importance, and power of God's word.
Aug. 9. *^ Spent silmostthe whole day with the Indians;
the former part of it in discoursing to many of them privately,
«md especially to some who had lately received comfort, and
eoMleavouring to inquire into the grounds of it, as well as to
give them some proper instructions, cautions and directions.
^ In the afternoon discoursed to them publicly. They were
now present about seventy persons, old and young. I opened
and applied the parable of the sower. Matt. xiii. W as enabled
to discourse with much plainness, and found afterwards that
this discourse was very instructive to them. There were many
tears among them, while I was discoursing publicly, but no
considerable crv; yet some were much aflScted with a few
words spoken vom Matt. xii. 28. Come unto me aU ye that
labour^ &C. with which I concluded my discourse. But, while
I was discoursing near night to two or three of the awakened
persons, a Divine influence seemed to attend what was spoken
to them in a powerful manner ; which caused the persons to
cry out in anguish of soul, although I spoke not a word of
terror ; but on the contrary, set before them the fulness and all-
sufficiency of Christ's merits, and his willingness to save all
that come to* him, and thereupon pressed them to come with-
out delay. The cry of these was soon heard by others, who,
though scattered before, immediately gathered round. I then
proceeded in the same strain of gospel-invitation, till they were
{dl melted into tears and cries, except two or three; and
seemed in the greatest distress to find and secure an interest in
the great Redeemer. Some, who had little more than a ruffle
nuufe in their passions the day before, seemed now to be deep-
ly affected and wounded at heart ; and the concern in general
appealed neiu'ly as prevalent as it was the day before. There
was indeed a very great mourning among them, and yet every
one seemed to mourn apart. For so peat was their concern,
that afaiost every one was praying and crying for himself, as if
212 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
none had been near. ^^ Guttummauhalummeh ; guUum$nau/ialum-
meh^'* i. e. " Have mercy upon me ; heme mercy upon me ; was
the common cry. It was very affectuig to see the poor Indiaosr
who the other day were hallooing and yelling in their {dola-
trous feasts and drunken frolics, now ciying to God with such
importunity for an interest in his dear Son ! — Found two or
three persons who, I had reason to hope, had taken comfort
upon good grounds since the evening before ; and these, with
others who had obtained comfort, were toffether, and s^emBd
to rejoice much that God was carrying on liis work with such
power upon others.
Aug. 10. ^^Rode to the Indians, and began to discourse
more privately to those who had obtained comfort and satia*
faction ; endeavouring to instruct, direct, caution, and comfort
them. But others, being eager of hearing everv word which
related to spiritual concerns, soon came together one after
another ; and, when I had discoursed to the young converts more
than half an hour, they seemed much melted with divine tilings,
and earnestly desirous to be with Christ. I told them of the
godly soul^s perfect purity, and full enjoyment of Christ, im-
mediately upon its separation from the body ; and that it would
be inconceivably more happy than they had ever been for any
short space of time, when Christ seemed near to them in prayer
or other duties. That I might make way for speaking of the
resurrection of the body, and thence of the complete Uesaed-
ness of the man ; I said, ^^ But perhaps some of you will say, I
love my body as well as my soul, and I cannot. bear to think
that my body shall lie dead, if my soul is happy." To which
they all cheerfully replied, " Muttoh^ Muttoh ;" before I had
opportunity to prosecute what I designed respecting the resur-
rection ; i. e. " No^ NoJ*"* They did not regard their bodies^ if
their souls might be with Christ. — Then they appeared willing
to be absent from the body, that they might be present with
the Lord.
" When I had spent some time with them, I turned to tlie
other Indians, and spoke to them from Luke xix. 10. For the
son of man is come to seek, (fee. I had not discoursed long, be-
fore their concern rose to a great degree ; and the house was
filled with cries and groans. When I insisted on the compas-
sion and care of the Lord Jesus Christ for those that were lost,
who thought themselves undone, and could find no way of es-
cape ; this melted them down the more, and aggravated their
distress, that they could not find and come to so kind a Sa-
viour.
" Sundry persons, who before had been slightly awakened,
were now deeply wounded with a sense of their sin and' misery.
One man in particular, who was never before awaken^, was
now made to feel that " the word of the Lord was quick and
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 213
powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword.'* He seem-
ed to be pierced at heart with distress ; and his concern appeared
most rational and scriptural, for he said that ^^ all the wicked*
ness of his past life was brought fresh to his remembrance,
and that he- saw all the vile actions he had done formerly, as if
done but yesterday."
" Fojund one who had newly received comfort, after pressing
distress from day to day. Could not but rejoice, and admire the
Divine goodness in what appeared this day. There seems to
be some good done by every discourse ; some newly awakened
eveiy day, and some comforted. It was refreshing to observe
the conduct of those who obtained comfort ; while others were
distressed with fear and concern ; that is lifting up their hearts
to God for them.
Lord*s day^ Aug. 11. " Discoursed in the forenoon from the
parable of the prodigal son^ Luke xv. Observed no such re-
markable effect of the word upon the assembly as in days past.
There were numbers of careless spectators of the white people,
some Quakers and others. In the afternoon, discoursed upon a
part of ,St. Peter's sermon. Acts ii. and at the close of my
discourse to the Indians, made an address to the white people ;
and divine truths seemed then to be attended with power, both to
English and Indians. Several of the white heathen were
awakened, and could not longer.be idle spectators ; but found
they had souls to save or lose as well as the Indians ; and a
great concern spread through the whole assembly. So that
this also appeared to be a day of God's power, especially to-
wards the conclusion of it, although the influence attending the
word seemed scarcely so powerful now as in days past.
" The number of Indians, old and young, was now upwards
of seventy ; and one or two were newly awakened this day,
who never had appeared to be moved with concern for their
souls before. Those who had obtained relief and comfort,
and had given hopeful evidences of having passed a saving
change, appeared humble and devout, and behaved in an
agreeable and Christian-like manner. I was refreshed to see
the tenderness of conscience manifest in some of them ; one
instance of which I cannot but notice. Perceiving one of
thein very sorrowful in the morning, I inquired into the cause
of her sorrow, and found the difficulty was, that she had been
angry with her child the evening before, and was now exercised
with fears, lest her anger had been inordinate and sinful ; whicli
50 grieved her, that she waked and began to sob before da}-
light, and continued weeping for several hours together.
August 14. " Spent the day with the Indians. There was
one of them, who had, some time since, put away his wife, a^
is common amongst, them, and taken .another woman ; and,
being now brought under some serious impressions, was much
214 *^ JfJEICOlKS OP BEAIlfSRD.
.concerned about that affair in particular, and seemed lolly con-
rvinced of the wickedness of the practice, and earnestly desired
to know what God would have him to do in his present cir*
cumstances. When the law of God respecting mamagej had
been opened to them, and the cause of his leaving his wife in-
quired into ; and when it appeared that she had given biai no
just occasion, by unchastity, to desert her, and that she was
willing to forgive his past misconduct and to live peaceaUy
with him for tne future, and that she moreover insisted on it as
her riglu to live with him ; he was then told, that it was his in*
dispensable duty to renounce the woman whom he had last ta*
ken, and receive the other, who was his proper wife, and live
peaceably with her during life. With this, he readily and
cheerfully complied ; and, thereupon, publicly renounced the
woman he had last taken, and publicty promised to live with
and be kind to his wife during me ; she, also, promising the
same to him. Here appeared a dear demonstration of the
power of God^s word upon their hearts. 1 suppose a few
weeks before, the whole world could not have persuaded thb
man to a compliance with Christian rules in this affair.
^^ I was not without fears that this proceeding might be like
putting ^^ new wine into old bottles ;^^ and that some mi^ht be
prejudiced against Christianity, when they saw the demaiids
made by it. But, the man being much concerned about the
matter, the determination of it could be deferred no longer ;
and it seemed to have a cood rather than an ill effect among
the Indians ; who generally owned that the laws of Christ were
good and right, respecting the affairs of marriage. In the af-
ternoon, I preached to them from the apostle^s discourse lo
Cornelius, Acts xth, 34th, &c. There appeared some affec-
tionate concern among them, though not equal to what ap-
peared in several of the former days. They still attended and
heard as for their lives, and the Lord's work seemed still to be
promoted and propagated among them.
Aug. 15. " Preached from Luke ivth, 16 — ^21. ^^ And be
came to Nazcureth^^'* &c. The word was attended with power
upon the hearts of the hearers. There was much concera,
many tears, and affecting cries among them : and some, in a
peculiar manner, were deeply wound^ and distressed for their
souls. There were some newly awakened who came but this
week, and convictions seemed to be promoted in others.
Those who had received comfort, were likewise refreshed and
strengthened ; and the work of grace appeared to advance in
all respects. The passions of the congregation in general
were not so much moved, as in some dajrs past ; but their
hearts seemed as solemnly and deeply affected with divine
truths as ever, at least in many instances, although the concern
MEMOIRS or BRAIXEBB. 215
did not seem so universal, and to reach every individual in such
a manner as it appeared to do some days before.
Aug. 16. ** Spent a considerable time in conversing with
sundry of the Inoians. Found one who had got relief and
comfort after pressing concern ; and could not but hope, when
I came to discourse particularly with her, that her comfort was
of the right kind, in the afternoon, I preached to them from
John vL. 36 — 34. Toward the close of my discourse, divine
truths were attended with considerable power upon the audi-
ence; and more especially after public service was over, when
I particularly addressed sundry distressed persons.
^ There ivas a great concern for their souls spread pretty ge-
nerally among them ; but especially there were two persons
oewlv awakened to a sense of their sin and misery ; one of whom
was lately come, and the other had all along been very atten-
tive and desirous of being awakened, but could never before
have wf lively view of her perishing state. Now her concern
and gpintual distress was such, that 1 thought 1 had never seen
any more pressing. Sundry old men were also in distress for
their souls ; so that they could not refrain from weeping and
cryni£ aloud ; and their bitter groans were the most convincing
as well as affecting evidence of the reality and depth of their
inward anguish. God is powerftiUy at work among them.
Thie and genuine convictions of sin are daily promoted in
many instances ; and some arie newly awakened from time to
time ; although some few, who felt a commotion in their pas-
sums in days past, seem now to discover, that their hearts were
never duly arocted. I never saw the work of God appear so
independent of means, as at this time. I discoursed to the
people, and spake what I simpose had a proper tendency to
promote convictions ; but God^s manner of woiking upon
them, seemed so entirely supernatural, and above means, that
I could scarcely believe he used me as an instrument, or what
I spake as means of carrying on his work. For it appeared,
as 1 thought, to have no connexion with, or depenaence on
means, in any respect. Though I could not but continue to
use the means, winch I thought proper for the promotion of the
w<Mfk, yet God seemed, as I apprehended, to worii entirely
without them. I seemed to do nothing, and, indeed, to have
nothing to do, but to ^^ stand stiU, aiKl see the salvation of
Crod ;*' and found myself obliged and delighted to sav, *^ Not
ohto os,'^ not unto instruments and means, ^ but to thy name
be glory/* God appeared to work entirely alone, and I saw no
room to attribute any part of this work to any created arm.
Agg. 17. *^ Spent much time in private conferences with the
Indians. Found one who had newly obtained rdief and com-
fort, after a long season of spiritual trouble and distress ; — ^he
Hia MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
having been one of my hearers at the Forks of Delaware for
more than a year, and now having followed me here under
deep concern for his soul ; — and had abundant reason to hope
that his comfort was well grounded, and truly divine. After-
wards discoursed publicly from Acts viiith, 29 — 39 ; and took
occasion to treat concernmg baptism^ in order to their being in-
structed and prepared to partake of that ordinance. They
were yet hungry and thirsty for the word of God, and appeared
unwearied in their attendance upon it.
Lord*8 day, Aug, 18. ^^ Preached in the forenoon to an as-
sembly of white people, made up of Presbyterians, Baptists,
Quakers, &c. Afterwards preached to the Indians, from John
vi. 35 — 40, He that eateth my flesh, &c. There was con-
siderable concern visible among them, though not equal to
what has frequently appeared of late.
Aug. 19. "Preached from Isa. Iv. 1. Ho every one
that thirsteth. Divine truths were attended with power upon
those who had received comfort, and others also. The Ibnner
sweetly melted and refreshed with divine invitations ; the latter
much concerned for their souls, that they might obtain an in-
terest in these glorious gospel provisions which were set before
them. There were numbers of poor impotent souls that
waited at the pool for healing ; and the luigel seemed, as at
other times of late, to trouble the waters, so that there was yet
a most desirable and comfortable prospect of the spiritual re-
covery of diseased perishing sinners. Near noon, I rode to
Freehold, and preached to a considerable assembly, from Matt.
V. 3. Blessed are the poor in spirit, &c. It pleased God to
leave me to be very dry and barren ; so that I do not remember
to have been so straightened for a whole twelvemonth past.
God is just; and he has made me to acquiesce in his will in this
respect. It is contrary to flesh and blood to be cut oflF from all
freedom in a large auditory, where their expectations are much
raised; but so it was with me : and God helped me to say amen
to it. Good is the will of the Lord. In the evening I felt quiet
and composed, and had freedom and comfort in secret prayer.
-Am2-. 20. " Was composed and comfortable, still in a re-
sighed frame. Travelled from Mr. Tennent's, in Freehold, to
Elizabeth Town. Was refreshed to see friends and relate to
them what God had done and was still doing among my poor
people.
Aug. 21. " Spent the forenoon in conversation with Mr.
Dickinson, contriving something for the settlement of the
Indians together in a body, that they might be under better
advantages for instruction. In the afternoon spent some time
agreeably with other friends ; wrote to my brother at college ;
but was grieved that time slid away, while I did so little for
God.
Atig. 23. " In the morning was very weak, but favoured with
s^me freedom and sweetness in prayer, was comfortable and
€M>mposed in mind. Afternoon, rode to Cross weeksung to my
poor people.
*' Spent some time with the Indians in private discourse ; and
afterwards, preached to them from John vi. 44 — 50. No man
can come to me, except &c. There was, as has been usual, a
great attention and some affection among them. Several ap-
peared deeply concerned for their souls, and could not but ex-
press their inward anguish by tears and cries. But the amaz-
ing divine influence, which has been so powerfully among
them in general, seems at present in some degree abated ; at
least, in regard to its universality ; though many who have ob-
tained no special comfort, still retain deep impressions of divine
things.
Aug. 24. " Spent the forenoon in discoursing to some of the
Indians in order to their receiving the ordinance of baptism.
When I had opened the nature of the ordinance, the obligations
attending it, the duty of devoting ourselves to God in it, and
the privilege of being in covenant with him; numbers of them
seemed to be filled with love to God, delighted with the thoughts
of giving themselves up to him in that solemn and public man-
ner, and melted and refreshed with the hopes of enjoying the
blessed Redeemer. Afterwards, I discoursed publicly from
1 Thess. iv. 13 — 17. But I would not have you be ignorant,
&c. There was a solemn attention, and some visible concern
and affection in the time of public service ; which was after-
wards increased by some further exhortations given to them to
come to Christ, and give up their hearts to him, that they
might be fitted to ^^ ascend up and meet him in the air,^^ when
he shall ^^ descend with a shout, and the voice of the arch-
angel."
" There were several Indians newly come, who thought
their state good, and themselves happy, because they had
sometimes lived with the white people under gospel light, had
learned to read, were civil, &c., although they appeared utter
strangers to their hearts, and altogether unacquamted with the
power of religion, as well as with the doctrines of grace.
With these I discoursed particularly after public worship ; and
was surprised to see their self-righteous dispositions, their strong
attachment to the covenant of works for salvation, and the
high value they put upon their supposed attainments. Yet
amr much discourse, one appeared in a measure convinced
that " by the deeds of the law no flesh living can be justified ;"
and wept bitterly, inquiring what he must do to be saved.
This was very comfortable to others, who had gained some
experimental knowledge of their own hearts; for, before, they
were grieved with the conversation and conduct of these new
Vol. X. 28
318 MfiMOUla UF BRAINEBJ).
comers, who boasted of their knowledge, and thought well of
themselves, but evidently discovered to those who had any ex-
perience of divine truths that they knew nothing of their own
hearts.
Lord's day^ Aug. 25. ^^ Preached in the forenoon from Luke
XT. 37. A number of white people being present, I made an
address to them at the close of my discourse to the Indians ;
but could not so much as keep them orderly ; for scores of
them kept walking and gazing about, and behaved more in-
decently than any Indians I have ever addressed. A view of
their abusive conduct so sunk my spirits, that I could scarcely
go on with my work.
^* In the afternoon discoursed from Rev. iii. 20 ; at which
time the Indians behaved seriously, though many others were
vain. Afterwards baptized twenty-five persons oi the Indians ;
fifteen adults and ten children. Most of the adults, I have
comfortable reason to hope, are renewed persons ; and there
was not one of them but what I entertained some hopes of in
that respect ; though the case of two or three of them ap*
peared more doubtnil.
^^ After the crowd of spectators was gone, I called the bap*
tizcd persons together, and discoursed to them in particular ;
at the same time inviting others to attend. I reminded them
of the solemn obligations they were now under to live to God ;
warned them of the evil and dreadful consequences of care-
less living, especially after their public profession of Christian-
ity ; gave them directions for future conduct ; and encouraged
them to watchfulness and devotion, by setting before tliem
the comfort and happy conclusion of a religious life.
" This was a desirable and sweet season indeed ! Their
hearts were engaged and cheerful in duty ; and they rejoiced
that they had, in a public and solemn manner, dedicated them-
selves to God. Love seemed to reign among them ! They
took each other by the hand with tenderness and affection, as
if their hearts were knit together, while I was discoursing to
them ; and all their deportment towards each other was such,
that a serious spectator might justly be excited to cry out with
admiration, " Behold how they love one another'^ Numbers
of the other Indians, on seeing and hearing these things, were
much affected, and wept bitterly ; longing to be partakers of
the same joy and comfort, which these discovered by their
very countenances as well as conduct. I rode to my lodgings
in the evening, blessing the Lord for his gracious visitation of
the Indians, and the soul-refreshing things I had seen the day
f)ast among them ; and praying that God would still carry on
lis divine work among them.
Aug. 26. " Preached to my people from John vi. 51 — 55. "
After I had discoursed some time, I addressed them in par-
U£MOIRS or BR.nXERD. 2Vii
ticular, who entertained hopes that they were passed from
death unto life. Opened to them the persevering nature of
those consolations which Christ gives his people, and which I
trusted he had bestowed upon some in that assembly ; showed
them that such have already the beginnings of eternal life, and
that their heaven shall speedily be completed.
**I no sooner begun to discourse in this strain, than the dear
Christians in the congregation began to be melted with affec-
tion to,\nd desire of the enjoyment of Christ, and of a state
of perfect purity. They wept affectionately, yet joyfully ; and
theur tears \nd sobs discovered brokenness of heart, and yet
were attended' with real comfort and sweetness. It was a
tender, affectionate, humbTe -and delightful meeting, and ap-
peared to be the genuine effect of a spirit of adoption, and
very far from that spirit of bondage under which they not
long since laboured. The influence seemed to spread from
these through the whole assembly ; and there quickly ap-
peared a wonderful concern amons them. Many, who had
not yet found Christ as an allnsumcient Saviour, were sur-
{>risingly engaged in seeking after him. It was indeed a
ovely and very interesting assembly. Their number was now
about mnety-jive persons, old and young, and almost all af-
fected with joy in Christ- Jesus, or with the utmost concern to
obtain an interest in him.
** Being now convinced that it was my duty to take a jour-
ney far back to the Indians on the Susquehannah, it being now
a proper season of the year to find them generally at home ;
after naving spent some hours in public and private discourse
with my people, I told them that I must now leave them for
the present, and go to their brethren far remote, and preach to
them; that I wanted the spirit of God should go with me,
without whom nothing could be done to any good purpose
among the Indians — as they themselves had opportunity to see
and observe by the barrenness of our meetings at sometimes,
when there was much pains taken to affect and awaken sinners,
and yet to little or no purpose, and asked them if they could
not be willing to spend the remainder of the day in prayer for
me, that God would go with me, and succeed my endeavours
for the conversion of these poor souls. They cheerfully com-
plied with the motion, and soon afler I left them, the sun being
about an hour and a half high at night, they began and con-
tinued praying till break of day, or very near : never mistrust-
ing as they tell me, till they went out and viewed the stars, and
saw the morning star a considerable height, that it was later
than bed time. Thus eager and unwearied were they in their
devotions ! A remarkable nijjht it was ; attended, as my inter-
preter tells me, with a powerful influence upon those who were
yet under concern, as well as those who had received comfort.
2:20 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
These were, I trust, this day, two distressed souls brought to
the enjoyment of solid comfort in him whom the weary find
rest. It was likewise remarkable, that this day an old Indian,
who had all his days been an idolater, was brought to give up
his rattles, which they use for music in their idolatrous feasts
and dances, to the other Indians, who quickly destroyed them.
This was done without any attempt of mine in the affair, 1
having said nothing to him about it, so that it seemed to be
nothing but the power of God's word, without any particular
application to this sin that produced this effect Thus God
has begun ; thus he has hitherto surprizingly carried on a work .
of grace amongst these Indians. May the glory be ascribed to
him who is the sole author of it.
" 1 went from the Indians to my lodgings, rejoicing for the
goodness of God to my poor people ; and enjoyed freedom of
soul in prayer, and other duties in the evening. Bless the Lord,
O my soul !
The next day, he set out on a journey towards the Forks of
Delaware, designing to go from thence to Susquehannah, be^
fore he returned to Crossweeksung. It was five days from his
departure from Crossweeksung, before he reached the' Fork* {
gomg round by the way of Philadelphia, and waiting on the
Governor of Pennsylvania, to get a recommendation from him
to the Chiefs of the Indians ; which he obtained. He speaks
of much comfort and spiritual refreshment, in this journey, and
also, a sense of his exceeding unworthiness, thinking himself
the meanest creature that ever lived.
((
Forks of Delaware^ in Pennsylvania^ Sept. 1745.
Lord*s day^ Sept. 1. " Preached to the Indians from Luke
xi. 16 — 23. The word appeared to be attended with some
power, and caused some tears in the assembly. Afterwards
preached to a number of white people present, and observed
manv of them in tears ; and some who had formerly been
careless and unconcerned about religion, perhaps, as the
Indians. Towards night, discoursed to the Indians again, and
perceived a greater attention, and more visible concern among
them, than has been usual in these parts. God gave me the
spirit of prayer, and it was a blessed season in that respect.
My soul cried to God for mercy, in an affectionate manner. In
the evening also, my soul rejoiced in God.
Sept. 3. *' Preached to the Indians from Isaiah lii. 3 — 6.
He is despised and rejected of men^ &c. The Divine presence
seemed to be in the midst of the assembly, and a considerable
concern spread among them. Sundry persons seemed to bej-
awakened ; among whom were two stupid creatures, whom I
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 221
could scarce ever before keep awake while 1 was discoursing
to them. I could not but rejoice at this appearance of things ;
altbou^ at the same time, I could not but fear, lest the con-
cern which they at present manifested, might prove like ''a
morning cloud, as something of that nature had formerly done
in these parts.
8qpf. 4. " Rode 15 miles to an Irish settlement, and preach-
ed there from Luke xiv. 22. ' And yet there is room.'' God
was pleased to afford me some tenderness and enlargement in
the nrst prayer, and much freedom as well as warmth in the
sermon. There were many tears in the assembly ; the people
of Crod seemed to melt ; and others seemed to be in some
measure awakened. Blessed be the Lord, who lets me see'his
work going on in one place and another !
Sept. 5. " Discoursed to the Indians from the parable of the
sower. Afterwards I conversed particularly with sundry per-
sons ; which occasioned them to weep, and even to cry out in
an affecting manner, and seized others with surprise and concern.
I doubt not but that a divine power accompanied what was then
spoken* Several of these persons had been with me to Cross-
weeksnuF : and there had seen and some of them I trust, /eZ/, the
power of God^s word, in an affecting and saving manner. I
asked one of them, who had obtained comfort and given hope-
ful evidences of being truly religious, " Why he now cried ?"
He replied, '^ When he thought how Christ was slain like a
lamb, and spilt his blood for smners, he could not help crying,
\riien he was alone ;^* and thereupon burst into tears, and cried
again. I then asked his wife who had likewise been abundant-
ly comforted, why she cried ? She answered, '' that she was
grieved that the Indians here would not come to Christ, as
wen as those at Crossweeksunff.^* I asked her if she found a
heart to pray for them ; and whether Christ had seemed to be
near her of late in prayer, as in times past; which is my usual
method of expressing a sense of the divine presence. She re-
plied ^ yes, he had been near to her, and at times when she had
been praying alone, her heart loved to pray so, that she could
not bear to leave the place, but wanted to stay and pray
longer.*^
Sgtf. 6. *^ Enjoyed some freedom and intenseness of mind,
in prayer alone ; and longed to have my soul more warmed with
divme and heavenly things. Was somewhat melancholy towards
night, and longed to die and quit a scene of sin and darkness,
but was a little supported in prayer.
8q^t. 7. ^^ Preached to the Indians from John vi. 35—39.
There was not so much the appearance of concern among them
as at several other times of late ; yet they appeared serious and
attentive.
:232 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Lord*B day^ SepU 8. ^^ Discoursed to the Indians in the after-'
noon from Acts ii. 36— 39. The word of God at this time seem-
ed to fall with weight and influence upon them. There were
but few present ; but most that were, were in tears ; and several
cried out in distressing concern for their souls. There was one
man considerably awakened, who never before discoveiefl
any concern for his soul. There appeared a remarkable work
of the Divine Spirit among them generally, not unlike whatiuMi
been of late at Crossweeksung. It seemed as if the divine iB-
fluence had spread thence to this place ; although something qf
it appeared here before in the awakening of my interpreter, Jiii
wife, and some few others. Several of the careless white peo-
ple now present, were awakened or at least startled, seeing the
power of God so prevalent among the Indians. I then maden
particular address to them, which seemed to make some impres-
sion upon them, and excite some affection in them.
^^ There are sundry Indians in these parts, who have alwajfi
refused to hear me preach, and have been enraged against
those who have attended on my preaching. But of late they
are more bitter than ever ; scoffing at Chnstianity, and some-
times asking my hearers, '^ How often they have cried,** and
"Whether tney have not now cried enough to do their tum,^
i&c. So that they have already trial of cruel working.
" In the evening, God was pleased to assist me m pnnrer,
and give me freedom at the throne of grace. I cried to God
for the enlargement of his kingdom in the world, and in par-
ticular among my dear people ; was also enabled to pray for
many dear ministers of my acquaintance, both in these parts,
and in New England, and also for other dear friends in New
England. My soul was so engaged and enlarged in the sweet
exercise, that I spent an hour in it, and knew not how to leave
the mercy seat. O how I delighted to pray and cry to God !
I saw that God was both able and willing to do all that I de-
sired for myself, and his church in general. I was likewise
much enlarged, and assisted in family prayer. Afterwards
when I was just going to bed, God helped me to renew my pe-
tition, with ardour and freedom. O it was to me a blessed
evening of prayer ! Bless the Lord, O my soul.
SepU 9. " Left the Indians at the Forks of Delaware, and
set out on a journey towards Susquehannah river ; directing
my course towards the Indian town more than a hundred aiAi
twenty miles westward from the Forks. Travelled about fif-
teen miles, and there lodged.
" Shaumoking^ Sept. 1745.
Sept. 13. " After having lodged out three nights, arrived at
the Indian town I aimed at on the Susquehannah, called Shaft-
MEKOIRS OF BRAINSRD. 223
mokiiig ; one of the places and the largest of them which I
visited in May last. I was kindly received, and entertained
bjr the Indians ; but had Uttle satisfaction by reason of the
heathenish dance and revel they then held in the house where
r was obliged to lodge ; which I could not suppress, though 1
often entreated them to desist, for the sake of one of their own
iiiends who was then sick in the house, and whose disorder
was much aggravated by the noise. Alas ! how destitute of
natnral affection are these poor uncultivated Pagans! althousb
ther seem somewhat kind in their own way. Of a truth the
dafk comers of the earth are full of the habitations of cruelty.
"nuB town, as I observed in my diary of May last, lies partly on
the east side of the river, partly on the west, and partly on a
lai^ island in it ; and contains upwards of fifty houses, and
nearly three hundred persons, though I never saw much more
than half that number in it. They are of three different tribes
of Indians, speaking three languages wholly unintelligible to
each other. About one half of its mhabitants are Delawares ;
the otiiers called Senakas and Tutelas, The Indians of this
place, are accounted the most drunken, mischievous, and ruf-
fianlike fellows, of any in these parts ; and Satan seems to have
his seat in this town in an eminent manner.
Sept. 14. ^^ Visited the Delaware King ; who was supposed
to be at the point of death when I was here in May last, but
was now recovered; discoursed with him and others, respect-
ing Christianity ; spent the afternoon with them ; and had more
encouragement than I expected. The King appeared kindly
disposed, and willing to be instructed. This gave me some en-
couragement, that God would open an effectual door for my
5 reaching the gospel here, and set up his kingdom in this place.
%i8 was a support and refreshment to me in the wilderness, a:nd
rendered mj solitary circumstances comfortable and pleasant.
In the evenm^, my soul was enlarged, and sweetly engaged in
prayer ; especially that God would set up his kingdom in this
flace, where the devil now reigns in the most eminent manner.
was enabled to ask this for God, for his glory, and because I
longed for the enlargement of his kingdom, to the honour of
his dear name. I could appeal to God with the greatest free-
dom, that it was his dear cause, and not my own, which engaged
my heart My soul cried, "Lord set up thy kingdom for thine
own glory ; glorify thyself, and I shall rejoice. Get honour to thy
blessed name, and this is all I desire. Do with me just what thou
wilt : Blessed be thy name forever that thou art God, and that
thou wilt glorify thyself. O that the whole world would glorify
thee ! O let these poor people be brought to know thee, ana
love thee, for the glory of thy ever dear blessed name.'' I could
not but hope, that God would bring in these miserable, wicked
Indians ; though there appeared little human probability of it v
an MEMOIRS OF BRAINfiRD.
for they were then dancioff and revelling, as if possessed by the
devil. But yet I hoped, though against hope, that God would
be glorified, and that his name would be glorified by these poor
Indians. I continued long in prayer and praise to God, and
had great freedom, enlargement, and sweetness; rememberiog
dear friends in New-England, as well as the people of m
charge. Was entirely free from that dejection of spirit, witQ
which I am frequently exercised. Blessed be God I .
Lard's dav^ Sept. 15. " Visited the chief of the Delawara
again ; was kindly received by him, and discoursed to the In-
dians in the afternoon. Still entertained hopes that God wovld
open their hearts, to receive the gospel ; though many of them
in the place, were so drunk, from day to day, that I could ge^
no opportunity to speak to them. Towards night, discouned
with one who understood the languages of the Six NaitcUt
as they are usually called ; who discovered an inclination to
hearken to Christianity, which gave me some hopes that the
gospel might hereafter be sent to those nations far remote.
Sept 16. '^ Spent the forenoon with the Indians, endeavour-
ing to instruct them from house to house, and to engage them,
as far as I could, to be friendly to Christianity. Towards ni^t,
went to one part of the town, where they were sober, got t^e-
ther near fifty of them, and discoursed to them ; having fist
obtained the king^s cheerfiil consent There was a surprisiDg
attention among them, and they manifested a consideraole de-
sire of being further instructed. There were, also, one or two
wlio seemed to be touched with some concern for their souls,
who appeared well pleased with some conversation in private,
after 1 had concluded my public discourse to them.
" My spirits were much refreshed with this appearance of
things, and I could not but return with my Interpreter, having
no other companion in this journey, to my poor hard lodgings,
rejoicing in hopes that God designed to set up his kingdom
here, where Satan now reigns in the most eminent manner;
and found uncommon freedom in addressing the throne of
grace for the accomplishment of so great and glorious a work.
Sept. 17. " Spent the forenoon in visiting and discoursing
to the Indians. About noon, left Shaumoking (most of the
Indians going out this day on their hunting design) and travel-
ed down the river south-westward.
Sept. 19. " Visited an Indian town, called Ji/ncau/a, situate
on an island in the Susquehannah. Was much discouraged with
the temper and behaviour of the Indians here ; although they
appeared friendly when I was with them the last spring, and then
gave me encouragement to come and see them again. But they
now seemed resolved to retain their pagan notions, and persist
in their idolatrous practices.
MEXOIRS or BRAIXERD. 2^
Sept 20. *^ Visited the Indians again at Juncauta island, and
found them almost universally ver}* busy in making preparations
for a great sacrifice and dance. Had no opportunity to get
them together, in order to discourse with them about Christi-
anitjTf by reason of their being so much engaged about their
sacrifice. My spirits were much sunk with a prospect so very
discooraging ; and especially seeing I had now no interpreter
but a pagan, who was as much attached to idolatry as any of
them ; my own interpreter having left me the day before, being
obliged to attend upon some important business elsewhere,
and knowing that he could neither speak nor understand the
language of these Indians ; so that I was under the greatest
disadvantages imaginable. However, I attempted to discourse
privately with some of them, but without any appearance of
success : notwithstanding I still tarried with them.
" In the evening they met together, nearly a hundred of
them, and danced around a large fire, having prepared ten fat
deer for the sacrifice. The fat of the inwards they burnt in
the fire while they were dancing, and sometimes raised the
flame to a prodigious height ; at the same time yelling and
shouting in such a manner, that they might easily have been
heard two miles or more. They continued their sacred dance
nearly all night, after which they ate the flesh of the sacrifice,
and so retired each one to his own lodging.
•* I enjoyed little satisfaction ; being entirely alone on the
isladd as to any Christian company, and in the midst of this
idolatrous revel ; and having walked to and fro till body and
mind were pained and much oppressed, I at length crept int^
a little crib made for corn, and there slept on the poles.
Lord* 8 datfy Sept. 21. " Spent the day with the Indians on
the island. As soon as they were well up in the morning, I
attempted to instruct them, and laboured for that purpose to
$t them together ; but soon found they had something else to
lo, for near noon they gathered togetner all their powows, or
conjurers, and set about half a dozen of them playing their
juggling tricks, and acting their frantic distracted postures, in
order to find out why they were then so sickly upon the island,
numbers of them being at that time disordered with a fever and
bloody flux. In this exercise they were engaged for several
hours, making all the wild, ridiculous and distracted motions
imaginable ; sometimes singing ; sometimes howling ; some-
times extending their hands to the utmost stretch, and spread-
ing aU their fingers, — they seemed to push with them as if they
designed to push something away, or at least keep it ofi* at
arm^-end ; sometimes stroking their faces with their hands,
then spirting water as fine as mist ; sometimes sitting flat on
the earth, then bowing down their faces to the ground ; then
Vol. X. 29 ^
2:26 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
wringing their sides as if in pain and anguish, twisting their
faces, turning up their eyes, grunting, puffing, &c.
^^ Their monstrous actions tended to excite ideas of horror,
and seemed to have something in them, as I thought, peculiarhr
suited to raise the devil, if he could be raised bv any thing odd,
ridiculous, and frightful. Some of them, I could observe, were
much more fervent and devout in the business than others, and
seemed to chant, peep, and mutter with a great degree of
warmth and vigour, as if determined to awaken and engage
the powers below. I sat at a small distance, not more than
thirty feet from them, though undiscovered, with my bible in
my hand, resolving, if possible, to spoil their sport, and prevent
their receiving any answers from the infernal world, and there
viewed the whole scene. They continued their hideous charms
and incantations for more than three hours, until they had all
wearied themselves out ; although they had in that space of
time taken several intervals of rest, and at length broke up, I
apprehended, without receiving any answer at all.
^^ After they had done powawing, I attempted to discourse
with them about Christianity ; but they soon scattered, and
gave me no opportunity for any thing of that nature. A view
of these things, while I was entirely alone in the wilderness,
destitute of the society of any one who so much as ^^ named the
name of Christ,^^ greatly sunk my spirits, and gave me the most
gloomy turn of mind imaginable, almost stripped me of all re-
solution and hope respectmg further attempts for propagating
the gospel, and converting the Pagans, and rendered this the
most burdensome and disagreeable Sabbath which I ever saw.
But nothing, I can truly say, sunk and distressed me like the
loss of my hope respecting their conversion. This concern ap-
peared so great, and seemed to be so much my own, that I
seemed to have nothing to do on earth, if this failed. A pros-
pect of the greatest concern in the saving conversion of souls
under gospel-light, would have done little or nothing towards
compensating for the loss of my hope in this respect ; and my
spirits now were so damped and depressed, that I had no heart
nor power to make any further attempts among them for that
purpose, and could not possibly recover my hope, resolution,
and courage, by the utmost of my endeavours.
" The Indians of this island can many of them understand
the English language considerably well ; having formerly lived
in some part of Maryland, among or near the white people ;
but are very drunken, vicious, and profane, although not so
savage as those who have less acquaintance with the English.
Their customs, in various respects, differ from those of the other
Indians upon the river. They do not bury their dead in a
common form, but let their flesh consume above ground, in
MEMOIRS OF BRAIKERI). )til
close cribs made for that purpose. At the end of a year, or
sometimes a longer space of time, they take the bones when
the flesh is all consumed, and wash and scrape them, and after-
wards bury them with some ceremony. Their method of
charming or conjuring over the sick, seems somewhat difierent
from that of other Indians, though in substance the same.
The whole of it among these and others, perhaps, is an intima-
tion of what seems, by Naaman's expression, 2 Kings, v. 11.
to have been the custom of the ancient heathen. It seems
chiefly to consist in their " striking their hands over the dis-
cflwed," repeatedly stroking them, ^and calling upon their
gods;'*'* except the spirting of water like a mist, and some
other frantic ceremonies common to the other conjurations
which I have already mentioned.
" When I was in this region in May last, I had an opportunity
of learning many of the notions and customs of the Indians, as
weU as observing many of their practices. I then travelled
more than an hundred and thirty miles upon the river, above
the English settlements ; and, in that journey, met with indivi-
duids oi seven or eight distinct tribes, speaking as many difierent
languages. But oi all the sights 1 ever saw among them, or
indeed any where else, none appeared so frightful, or so near
akin to what is usually imagined oi infernal powers^ none ever
excited such images of terror in my mind, as the appearance of
one who was a devout and zealous reformer, or rather, re-
storer of what he supposed was the ancient religion of the In-
dians. He made his appearance in his pontifical garb which
was a coat of hoar skins^ dressed with the hair on, and hanging
down to his toes ; a pair of bear skin stockings ; and a great
wooden face painted, the one half black, the other half tawny,
about the colour of an Indian ^s skin, with an extravagant mouth,
cut very much awry ; the face fastened to a bear skin cap,
which was drawn over his head. He advanced towards me
with the instrument in his hand, which he used for music in his
idolatrous worship ; which was a dry tortoise shell with some
com in it, and the neck of it drawn on to a piece of wood,
which made a very convenient handle. As he came forward,
he beat his tune with the rattle, and danced with all his might,
but did not sufier any part of his body, not so much as his fin-
gers, to be seen. No one would have imagined from his ap-
pearance or actions, that he could have been a human creature,
if they had not had some intimation of it otherwise. When he
came near me, I could not but shrink away from him, although
it was then noon day, and I knew who it was ; his appearance
and gestures were so prodigiously frightful. He had a house
consecrated to religious uses, with divers images cut upon the
several parts of it. I went in, and found the ground beat al-
most as hard as a rock, with their frequent dancing upon '*.
ggk' xuftMias or beainerd.
I discoursed with him about Christianity. Some of my discourse
he seemed to like, but some of it he disliked extremely, - He
told me that God had taught him his religion, and that he never
would turn from it; but wanted to find some who would join
heartily with him in it ; for the Indians, he said, were grown
very degenerate and corrupt. He had thoughts, he said^
of leaving all his friends, and travelling abroad, in order to find
some who would join with him ; for he believed that God had*
some good people somewhere, who felt as he did. He had not
always, he said, felt as he now did ; but had formerly been like
the rest of the Indians, until about four or five years before that
time. Then, he said, his heart was very much distressed, so
that he could not live among the Indians, but got away into
the woods, and lived alone for some months. At length, he
says, God comforted his heart, and showed him what he should
do ; and since that time he had known God, and tried to serve
him ; and loved all men, be they who they would, so as he
never did before. He treated me with unconunon courtesy,
and seemed to be hearty in it. I was told by the Indiana, that
he opposed their drinking strong liquor with all his power ; and
that, if at any time he could not dissuade them from it by all he
could say, he would leave them, and go crying into the woods.
It was manifest that he had a set of religious notions which he
had examined for himself and not taken for granted^ upon
bare tradition; and he relished or disrelished whatever was
spoken of a religious nature, as it either agreed or disagreed
with his standard. While I was discoursing, he would some*
times say, "Now that I like; so God has taught me;" &c.
and some of his sentiments seemed very just. Yet he utterly
denied the existence of a det'iZ, and declared there was no such
creature known among the Indians of old times, whose religion
he supposed he was attempting to revive. He likewise told
me, that departed souls all went southioard^ and that the difie-
rence between the good and the bad, was this : that the fov-
mer were admitted into a beautiful town with spiritual waUs ;
and that the latter would for ever hover around these wails, in
vain attempts to get in. He seemed to be sincere, honest, and
conscientious in his own way, and according to his own religious
notions ; which was more than I ever saw in any other Pagan.
I perceived that he was looked upon and derided among most
of the Indians, as a precise zealot^ who made a needless noise
about religious matters ; but I must say that there was some-
thing in his temper and disposition, which looked more Uke
true religion, than any thing I ever observed amongst other
heathens.
But alas ! how deplorable is the state of the Indians upon
this river ! The brief representation which I have here given
of their notions and manners, is sufficient to show that they are
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 29S)
Med captive by Satan at his will," in the most eminent
manner ; and methinks might likewise be sufficient to excite
the compassion, and engage the prayers, of pious souls for
these their' fellow-men, who sit " in the region of the shadow
of death."
S^t. 22. " Made some further attempts to instruct and Chris*
tianize the Indians on this island, but all to no purpose. They
live so near the white people that they are always in the way of
strong liquor, as well as of the ill examples of nonttViaZ Christians ;
which renders it so unspeakably difficult to treat with them
about Christianity."
Brainerd left these Indians on the 23d of September, to re-
turn to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak state of body,
and under great dejection of mind, which continued the two
first days of his journey.
Sept, 25. " Rode still homeward. In the forenoon, enjoyed
freedom and intenseness of mind in meditation on Job xlii. 5, 6.
" I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine
eyeseeth thee; wherefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and
ashes*" The Lord gave me clearness to penetrate into the
sweet truths contained in that text. It was a comfortable and
sweet season to me.
Sept. 26. " Was still much disordered in body, and able to
ride but slowly. Continued my journey, however. Near night,
arrived at the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from mine
own house. This day, while riding, I was much exercised with
a sense of my barrenness ; and verily thought there was no
creature who had any true grace, but what was more spiritual
and faithful. I could not think that any of God^s children
made so poor a hand of living to God.
Sqfft, 27. " Spent a considerable time in the morning-in prayer
and praise to God. My mind was somewhat intense in the
duty; and my heart, in some degree, warmed with a sense of
divine things. My soul was melted to think that ^^ God had
accouilted me faithful, putting me into the ministry." My
soul was also, in some measure, enlarged in prayer for the
dear people of my charge, as well as for other dear friends.
Afternoon, visited some christian friends, and spent the time
I think profitably; my heart was warmed and more engaged in
the things of God. In the evening I enjoyed enlargement,
warmth and comfort in prayer : my soul relied on God for as^
sistance and grace to enable me to do something in his cause :
my heart was drawn out in thankfulness to God for what be had
donQ for his own glory among my poor people of late. I felt
encouraged to proceed in his work ; bemg persuaded of his
power, and hoping that his arm might be further revealed for
230 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
the enlargement of his dear kingdom. My soul ^' rejoiced in
hope of the glory of God,'^ in hope of the advancement of his
declarative glory in the world, as well as of enjoying him in a
world of glory. O, blessed be Gody the living (xod^for ever^^"*
He continued in this comfortable sweet frame of mind the
two next days. On the following day, he went to his own house
in the Forks of Delaware, and continued still in the same frame.
The next day, Tuesday, he visited the Indians.
*' Forks of Delaware^ Oct. 1745.
Oct. 1. '^ Discoursed to the Indians here, and spent some
time in private conference with them about their souls* con*
cerns, and afterwards invited them to accompany, or if not,
to follow me to Crossweeksung as soon as they could con-
veniently; which invitation numbers of them cheerfully ac-
cepted.
Wednesday he spent principally in writing the meditations h^
had in his late journey to the Susquehannah. On Thursday he
left the Forks of Delaware, and travelled towards Crossweek-
sung, where he arrived on Saturday ^ Oct. 5 ; and continued
from day to day in a comfortable state of mind.
" Crossweeksung^ Oct, 1745.
Oct. 5. " Preached to my people from John xiv. 1 — 6. The
divine presence seemed to be in the assembly. Numbers were
affected with divine truths, and it was a comfort to some in par-
ticular. O'what a difference is there between these, and the In-
dians with whom I have lately treated upon the Susquehannah !
To be with those seemed to be like being banished from God
and all his people ; to be with these, like being admitted into
his family, and to the enjoyment of his divine presence f How
great is the change lately made upon numbers of those Indians,
who, not many months ago, were as thoughtless and averse to
Christianity as those upon the Susquehannah; and how as-
tonishing is that grace, which has made this change !
Lord'^s day^ Oct. 6. " Preached in the forenoon from John
X. 7 — II. There was a considerable melting amonff my peo-
ple ; the dear young Christians were refreshed, comforted and
strengthened ; and one or two persons newly awakened. — In
the afternoon I discoursed on the story of the jailer. Acts xvi.
and in the evening, expounded Acts xx. I — 12. There was at
this time a very agreeable melting spread throughout **»«
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEHD. 231
whole assembly. I think I scarce ever saw a more desirable
affection in any number of people in my life. There was
scarcely a dry eye to be seen among them ; and yet nothing
boisterous or unseemly, nothing that tended to disturb the
public worship ; but rather to encourage and excite a christian
ardour and spirit of devotion. — Those, who I have reason to
hope were seriously renewed, were first affected, and seemed
to rejoice much, but with brokenness of spirit and godly fear.
Their exercises were much the same with those mentioned in
my journal of Aug. 26, evidently appearing to be the genuine
effects of a spirit of adoption.
" After public service was over, I withdrew, being much
tired with the labours of the day ; and the Indians continued
praying among themselves for nearly two hours together;
which continued exercises appeared to be attended with a
blessed quickening influence from on high. I could not but
earnestly wish that numbers of God^s people had been present
at this season to see and hear these things which I am sure
must refresh the heart of every true lover of Zion's interest.
To see those, who were very lately savage Pagans and idol-
aters, having no hope, and without God in the world, now
filled with a sense of divine love and grace, and worshipping
the Father in spirit and in truth, as numbers have appeared to
do, was not a little affecting ; and especially to see them ap-
pear so tender and humble, as well as lively, fervent, and de-
vout in the divine service.
Oct 7. " Being called by the church and people of East-
Hampton, on Long-Island, as a member of a council to assist
anid advise in affairs of difficulty in that church, I set out on
my journey this morning before it was well light, and travelled
to Elizabethtown, and there lodged. Enjoyed some comfort
on the road in conversation with Mr. William Tennent, who
was sent for on the same business.^'
Bbainerd prosecuted his journey with the other ministers
who were sent for, and did not return till Oct. 24. While he
was at East-Hampton, the importance of the business, on
which the council were convened, lay with such weight on his
mind, and he was so concerned for the interests of religion in
that place, that he slept but little for several nights succes-
sively. In his way to and from East-Hampton, he had several
seasons of sweet refreshment ; wherein his soul was enlarged
jaxkd comforted with divine consolations in secret retirement ;
and he had special assistance in public ministerial perform-
ances in the house of God ; and yet at the same time a sense
of extreme vileness and unprofitableness. From time to
time he speaks of soul refreshments and comfort in conversa-
tion with the ministers who travelled with him, and seems to
232 MEMOIRS OF BRAIKERD.
Jiave little or nothing of melancholy until he came to the west
end of Lon^-Island m his return. After that he was oppressed
with dejection and gloominess of mind for several aays to-
gether.
" Crossweeksung^ Oct. 1745.
Oct. 24. " Discoursed from John iv. 13, 14. There was a
great attention, a desirable affection, and an unaffected mel^
ing in the assembly. It is surprising to see how eager they
are to hear the word of God. I have oftentimes thought that
they would cheerfully and diligently attend divine worship
twenty-four' hours together, if they had an opportunity so to
do.
Oct. 25. " Discoursed to my people respecting the Resurrec-
tion, from Luke xx. 27 — 36. When I came to mention tiie
blessedness which the godly shall enjoy at that season ; their
final freedom from death, sin and sorrow ; their equaJity to
the angels in their nearness to and enjoyment of Christ, some
imperfect degree of which they are favored with in the present
life, from whence springs their sweetest comfort ; and their
being the children of God, openly acknowledged by him as
such : — 1 say, when I mentioned these things, numbers of them
were much affected and melted with a view of this blessed
state.
Oct. 26. ^^ Being called to assist in the administration of the
Lord's supper in a neighbouring congregation, I invited my
people to go with me. They in general embraced the oppor-
tunity cheerfully ; and attended the several discourses of this
solemnity with diligence and affection, most of them now un-
derstanding something of the English language.
Lord^s day^ Oct. 27. " While I was preaching to a vast
assembly of people abroad, who appeared generally easy and
secure enough, there was one Indian woman, a stranger, who
never heard me preach before, nor ever regarded any thing
about religion, being now persuaded by some of her friends
to come to meeting, though much against her will, was seized
with distressing concern for her soul ; and soon after expressed
a great desire of going home, more than forty miles distant, to
call her husband, that he also might be awakened to a concern
for his soul. Some others of the Indians appeared to be af-
fected with divine truths this day. The pious people of the
English, numbers of whom I had opportunity to converse with,
seemed refreshed with seeing the Indians worship God in that
devout and solemn manner with the assembly of his people ;
and with those mentioned in Acts xi. 18, they could not but
glorify God, saying, " Then hath God also to the Gentiles
granted repentance unto life."
MEHOiRS 6T BRAINERD, 233
** Preached again in the afternoon, to a great assembly : at
which time some of my people appeared affected ; and, when
public worship was over, were inquisitive whether there would
not be another sermon in the evening, or before the sacramental
solemnity was concluded ; being still desirous to hear GodV
word*
Oct. 28. " Discoursed from Matt. xxii. 1 — 13. I was enabled
to open the scriptures, and adapt my discourse and expression
to the capacities of my people, I know not howi in a plam, easy,
and familiar manner^ beyond all that I could have done by the
utmost study : and this without any special difficulty ; yea with
as much freedom as if I had been addressing a common atldi-
ence, who had been instructed in the doctrines of Christianitv
all their days. The word of God, at this time^ seemed to fall
upon the assembly with a divine power and influence, especially
towards- the close of my discourse : there was both a sweet
melting and bitter mourning in the audience. The dear Chris-
tians were refreshed and comforted, convictions revived in
others, and several persons newly awakened, who had never
been with us heforn. So much of the divine presence appeared
in the assembly, that it seemed ' this was no other than the
house of God and the gate of heaven/ AU, who had any sa-
vour and relish of divine things, were even constrained by the
sweetness of that season to say, ^^ Lord, it is good for us to be
here :*' If ever there was among my people an appearance of
the New Jerusalem, " as a bride adorned for her husband,^^
there was much of it at this time ; and so agreeable was the
entertainment, where such tokens of the divine presence were^
that I could scarcely be willing in the evening to ieave the
place and repair to my lodgings. I was refreshed with a view
of the continuance of this blessed work of grace among them,
and with its influence upon strangers among the Indians, who
had of late, from time to time, providentially come into this
part of the countr}^ Had an evening of sweet refreshing j my
thoughts were raised to a blessed eternity ; my soul was melted
f¥ith desires of perfect holiness, and of perfectly glorifying God.-
Cht, 29* " About noon^ rode and viewed the Indian lands at
Cranberry : was much dejected, and greatly perplexed in mind :
knew not how to see any body again ; my soul was sunk within
nae* Oh that these trials might make me more humble ancT
holy. Oh that God would keep me from giving way to sinful'
dejection, which may hinder my usefulness.
Oct. 30. « My soul was refreshed with a view of the continu-
uice of God^s blessed work among the Indians.
Oct, 3L **^ Spent most of the day in writing; enjoyed not
nucb spiritual comfort ; but was not so much sunk with me^
fancholy as atpther times^
Vol, X, 30
2^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINEBD.
Nov. 1. ^' Discoursed from Luke xxiv. briefly explaimng the
whole chapter, and insisting especially upon some particuki
passages. The discourse was attended with some anectionate
concern upon some of the hearers, though not equal to what
has often appeared among them.
Nov. 2. " Spent the day with the Indians ; wrote some
things of importance ; and longed to do more for God than I
did, or could do, in this present feeble and imperfect state.
Lord^s day^ Nov. 3. " Preached to my people from Luke
xvi. 17. " And it is easier for heaven and earth," &c. more es-
pecially for the sake of several lately brought under deep con-
cern for their souls. There was some apparent concern and
afiection in the assembly ; though far less than has been usual
of late.
*^ Afterwards, I baptized/ot/rteen persons of the Lidians : »x
adults, and eight children. One of these was nearly foursoore
vears of a^e ; and, I have reason to hope, that God has brought
her savingly home to himself. Two of the others were men of
fifty years old, who had been singular and remarkable among
the Indians for their wickedness ; one of them had been a mar
derer, and both notorious drunkards, as well as excessively q|iuu>
relsome ; but now I oonnot but hope, that both of them have be-
come sul^ects of God^s special grace, especially the worst of
them."* I deferred their baptism for many weeks afler they had
given evidence of having passed a great change, that I might
have more opportunities to observe the fruits of the impressions
which they had been under, and apprehended the way was now
clear. There was not one of the adults whom I baptized^who
had not given me comfortable grounds to hope, that God had
wrought a work of special grace in their hearts ; although I
could not have the same degree of satisfaction respecting one
or two of them as the rest.
Nov. 4. " Discoursed from John xi. briefly explaining most
of the chapter. Divine truths made deep impressions upon
many in the assembly. Numbers were affected with a view of
the power of Christ manifested in his raising the dead; and
especially vvhen this instance of his power was improved to
show his ability to raise dead souls, such as many of them then
felt themselves to be, to a spiritual life ; as, also, to raise the
dead at the last day, and dispense to them true rewards and
punishments.
« There were numbers of those who had come here lately from
remote places, who were now brought under deep and pressing
concern for their souls. One in particular, who, not long since,
came half drunk, and railed on us, and attempted by all means
* The man particularly mentioned in mv journal of August 10, as being then
awalcen^cl.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 235
to disturb us while engaged in divine worship, was now so con-
, cemed and distressed for her soul, that she seemed unable to get
any ease without an interest in Christ. There were many tears
and affectionate sobs and groans in the assembly in general ;
some weeping for themselves, others for their friends. Although
• persons are, doubtless, much more easily affected now than they
were in the beginning of this religious concern, when tears and
cries for their souls were things unheard of among them, yet
I must s^, that their affection in general appeared genuine and
unfeigned ; and, especially, this appeared very conspicuous in
those newly awakened. So that true and genuine convictions
of sin seem still to be begun and promoted in many instances.
" Baptized a child this day, and perceived numbers of the
baptized persons affected with the administration of this ordi-
nance, as being thereby reminded of their own solemn engage-
ments.
" I have now baptized in all forty-seven of tha Indians ;
twenty-three adults, and twenty-four children; thirty-five of
them belonged to this region, and the rest to the Forks of De»»
laware. Through rich grace, none of them, as yet, have been
left to disgrace tneir profession of Christianity, by any scanda-
lous or unbecoming behaviour.
^ *' I might now properly make many remarks on a work of
grace, so very remarkable as this has been in various respects ;
but shall confine myself to a few general hints only.
"1. It is remarkable, that God began this work among the
Indians at a time when I had the least hope, and, to my appre-
hension, the least rational prospect of sceinff a work of grace
propagated among them : my bodily strength being then much
wasted by a late tedious journey to the Susquehannah, where
I was necessarily ejxposed to hardships and fatigues among the
Indians : my mind being, also, exceedingly depressed with a
view of the unsuccessfulness of my labours. I had little reason
so much as to hope, that God had made me instrumental in the
saving conversion of any of the Indians, except my interpreter
and his wife. Hence I was ready to look upon myself as a
burden to the honourable society which employed and support-
ed me in this business, and began to entertain serious thought^
of giving up my mission ; and almost resolved, I would do so
at we conclusion of the present year, if I had then no better
F respect of special success in my work than I had hitherto had.
cannot say that I entertained these thoughts because I was
weary of the labours and fatigues which necessarily attended
my'^present business, or because I had light and freedona in my
own mind to turn 'any other way ; but purely through dejection
of spirit, pressing discouragement, and an apprehension of its
being unjust to spend money consecrated to religious uses, only
to civilize the Indians, and bring them to an external profession
238 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
guage, by remarkably fitting my interpreter for, and assisting
him in the performance of his work. It mi^ht reasonably be
supposed I must needs labour under a vast disadvantage in ad-
dressing the Indians by an Interpreter ; and that divine truths
would undoubtedly lose much of the energy and pathos with
which they might at first be delivered, by reason oi their com-
ing to the audience from a second hand. But althou^ this
has often, to my sorrow and discouragement, been the case in
times past, when my interpreter had little or no sense of divine
things ; yet now it was quite otherwise. I cannot think my ad-
dresses to the Indians ordinarily, since the beginning of this
season of grace have lost any thing of the power or pungency
with which they were made, unless it were sometimes for want
of pertinent and pathetic terms and expressions in the Indian
language ; which difficulty could not have been much redressed
by my personal acquaintance with their language. My inter-
preter had before gained some good degree of £>ctrm(U know*
ledge, whereby he was rendered capable of understanding, and
coipmunicating, without mistakes, the intent and meantng of
my discourses, and that without being confined strictly and
obliged to interpret verbatim. He had Hkewise, to appearance,
an experimental acquaintance with divine things; and it
pleased God at this season to inspire his mind with longinff
desires for the conversion of the Indians, and to give him admi-
rable zeal and fervency in addressing them in order thereto.
It is remarkable, that, when I was favoured with any special
assistance in any work, and enabled to speak with more than
common freedom^ fercency^ and j90M?er, under a lively and of'
fecting sense of divine things, he was usually affected in the
same manner almost instantly, and seemed at once quickened
and enabled to speak in the same pathetic language, and under
the same influence that 1 did. A surprising energy often ac-
companied the word at such seasons ; so that the face of the
whole assembly would be apparently changed almost in an in-
stant, and tears and sobs became common among them.
" He also appeared to have such a clear doctrinal view of
God's usual methods of dealing with souls under a preparatory
work of conviction and humiliation as he never had before ; so
that I could, with his help, discourse freely with the distressed
persons about their internal exercises, their fears, discourage-
inents, temptations, &c. He likewise took pains day and
night to repeat and inculcate upon the minds of the Indians
the truths which I taught them daily ; and this he appeared
to do, not from spiritual pride, and an affectation of setting
himself up as a public teacher ^^ but from a spirit of faithfulness,
and an honest concern for their souls.
" His conversation among the Indians has likewise, so far
as I know, been savoury, as becomes a Christian, and a per-
HEMOIBS or BRAINERD. 839
6on employed in his work ; and I may justly say, he has been
a great comfort to me, and a great instrument of promoting
this good work among the Indians ; so that whatever be the
state of his own soul, it is apparent God has remarkably fitted
him for this work. Thus God has manifested that, without
bestowing on me the gift of tongues^ he could find a way
wherein I might be as effectually enabled to convey the truths
of his glorious gospel to the minds of these poor benighted
Pagans.
5. ^' It is further remarkable, that God has carried on his
work here by such means and in such a manner^ as tended to
obviate, and leave no room, for those prejudices and objections
which have often been raised against such a work. When
persons have be^n awakened to a solemn concern for their
souls, by hearing the move awful truths of God^s word, and
the terrors of the divine law insisted upon, it has usually m
such cases been objected by some, that such persons were
oaly^frighted with h. fearful noise of hell and damnation ; and
that there was no evidence that their concern was the effect
of a divine influence. But God has left no room for this ob-
jection in the present case ; this work of grace hailing been
oegun and carried on^ by almost one continued strain of gospel
VKnilation to perishing sinners. This may reasonably be
guessed, from a view of the passages of scripture I chiefly
insisted upon in my discourses from time to time ; which I
have for that purpose inserted in my Diary.
^ Nor have I ever seen so seneral an "awakening in any
aiBembly in my life as appeared here while I was opening and
insisting upon the parable of the great supper — Luke xiv. In
which discourse, I was enabled to set before my hearers, the
unsearchable riches of gospel grace. Not that I would be
understood here, that I never instructed the Indians respecting
their fallen state, and the sinfulness and misery of it : for this
was what I at first, chiefly insisted upon with them, and en-
deavoured to repeat and inculcate in almost every discourse,
knowing that without this foundation, I should but build upon
the sand, and that it would be in vain to invite them to Christ
unless I could convince them of their need of him. — Mark
ii. 17.
^ But still this great awakening, this surprising concern, was
never excited by any harangues of terror, but always appeared
most remarkable when I insisted upon the compassion of a
dying Saviour, the plentiful provisions of the gospel, and the
firee offers of divine grace, to needy, distressed sinners. Nor
wcHild I be understood to insinuate, that such a religious con-
cern might justly be suspected as not being genuine, and from
a divine influence, because produced from the preaching of
terror: for this is perhaps, God^s more usual way of awakening
240 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
sinners, and appears entirely agreeable to scripture and sound
reason. But what I meant here to obsen'e is, that God saw fit
to employ and bless milder means for the effectual awakening
of these Indians, and thereby obviated the forementioned ob-
jection, which the world might otherwise have had a more
plausible colour of making.
" As there has been no room for any plausible objection
against this work, with regard to the means ; so neither with
regard to the manner in which it has been carried on. It is
true, persons* concern for their souls has been exceeding great ;
the convictions of their sin and misery have arisen to a high
degree, and produced many tears, cries, and groans ; but then
they have not been attended with those disorders^ either bodily
or mental, which have sometimes prevailed among persons
under religious impressions. There has here been no appear^
ance of those convulsions^ bodily agonies ^frightful screamings,
stvoonings^ and the like, which have been so much complied
of in some places ; although there have been some, who, with
the jailer, have been made to tremble under a sense of their
sin and misery ; numbers who have been made to cry out from
a distressing view of their perishing state ; — and some, who
have been for a time, in a great measure, deprived of theif
bodily strength, yet without any such convulsive appearances.
"Nor has there been any appearance of mental disorders
here, such as visions^ trances^ imaginations of being under pro-
phetic inspiration, and the like ; or scarce any unbecoming dis-^
position to appear remarkably affected either with concern or
joy ; though I must confess, I observed one or two persons,
whose concern I thought was in a considerable measure affected;
and one whose ^oy appeared to be of the same kind. But these
workings of spiritual pride I endeavoured to crush in their
first appearances, and have not since observed any affection,
either of joy or sorrow, but what appeared genuine and un-
affected. But,
6thly and lastly^ The effects of this work have likewise been
very renriarkable. I doubt not but that many of these people
have gained more doctrinal knowledge of divine truths, since I
first visited them in June last, than could have been instilled
into their minds by the most diligent use of proper and instruc-
tive nieans for whole years together, without such a divine in-
fluence. Their pagan notions and idolatrous practices, seem
to be entirely abandoned in these parts. They are regulated,
and appear regularly disposed in the affairs of marriage ; an
instance whereof I have given in my journal of August 14.
They seem generally divorced from drunkenness^ their darling
vice, the " sin that easily besets them ;" so that I do not know
of more than two or three who have been my steady hearers,
that have drunk to excess since I first visited them ; although
lefore it was common for some or other of them to be drunk al-
D06t every day : and some of them seem now to fear this sin in
tarticular, more than death itself. A principle of honesty and
Ofiftice appears in many of them ; and they seem concerned
discharge their old debts, which they have neglected, and
erhaps scarcely thought of for years past. Their manner
f living, is much more decent and comfortable than formerly,
Etving now the benefit of that money which they used to
DQsume upon strong drink. Love seems to rei^n among them,
|H3cially those who have given evidences of having passed a
iving change : and I never saw any appearance of bitterness
'cmuoriousness in these, nor any disposition to ^^ esteem them-.
Ives better than others," who had not received the like
ercy.
**As their sorrows under convictions have been great and
Qssing, so many of them have since appeared to " rejoice
th ioy unspeakable, and full of glory ;" and yet I never saw
J tning ecstatic or flightly in their joy. Their consolatioiis
> not incline them to lightness ; but, on the contrary, are at-
ided with solemnity, and oftentimes with tears, and an ap-
rent brokenness of heart, .as may be seen in several passages
my diaiy. In this respect, some of them have been surprised
themselves, and have with concern observed to me, that
irhen their hearts have been glad," which is a phrase they
nmonly make use of to express spiritual joy, " they could not
p crying for all."
^ And now, upon the whole, I think, I may justly say, that
e are all the symptoms and evidences of a remarkable work
^ace among these Indians, which can reasonably be desired
expected. May the great Author of this work maintain and
mote the same here^ and propagate it every where^ till " the
ole earth be filled with his glory !" Amen.
• I have now rode more than three thousand miles, of which
ave kept an exact account, since the beginning of March
:, and almost the whole of it has been in my own proper
iiness as a missionary, upon the design, either immediately,
more remotely, of propagating Christian knowledge among
Indians. I have taken pains to look out for a colleague
zampanion, to travel with me ; and have likewise used en-
Lvours to procure something for his support, among religious
sons in New England, which cost me a journey of several
idred miles in length ; but have not, as yet, found any per-
qualified and disposed for this good work, although I had
16 encouragement from ministers and others, that it was
»ed a maintenance might be procured for one, when the
1 should be found.
I have likewise of late, represented to the gentlemen con-
ned with this mission, the necessity of having an EngUsh
Jot. X. 31
24Si MEMOIRS OF BRAINUD.
school speedily set up among these Indians, who are now wiUiag
to be at the pains of gathering together in a body, for tUa p«^
pose. In Older thereto, I have humbly proposed to them dM
collecting of money for the maintenance of a school-mastflr,
and the defraying of other necessary charges, in the pnomotioii
of this good work ; which they are now attempting in the seve-
ral congregations of Christians to which they respectively be-
long.
^vThe several companies of Indians to whom I have preached
in the summer past, live at great distances from each other.
It is more than seventy miles from Crossweeksung, in New
Jersey, to the Forks of Delaware in Pennsylvania ; and thence
to sundr]r of the Indian settlements which I visited on Suscpie-
hannah, is more than an hundred and twenty miles. So moch
of my time is necessarily consumed in joume3ring, that I can
have but little for any of m^ necessary studies, and consequent-
ly for the study of the Indian languages in particular ; and es-
pecially seeinff I am obliged to discourse so frequendy to the
Indians at each of these places while I am with mem, m order
to redeem time to visit the rest. I am, at times, almost db*
couraged from attempting to gain any acquaintance with the
Indian languages, they are so very numerous ; some account
of which I save in my diary of May last ; and especially, seeing
my other labours and fatigues engross almost the whole of my
time, and bear exceedingly hard upon my constituiian, so that
my health is much impaired. — However, I have taken consider-
able pains to learn the Delaware language, and propose still to
do so, as far as my other business and bodily health will ad-
mit. I have already made some proficiency in it, though I have
laboured under many and great disadvantages in my attempts
of that nature. It is but just to observe here, that all the pams
I took to acquaint myself with the language of the Indians
with whom I spent my first year, were of little or no service to
me here among the Delawares ; so that my work, when I came
among these Indians, was all to begin anew.
" As these poor ignorant Pagans stood in need of having
" line upon line, and precept upon precept," in order to their
being instructed and grounded in the principles of Christianity;
so I preached " publicly, and taught from house to house," al-
most every day for whole weeks together, when I was with
them. My ptAlic discourses did not then make up the one
half of my work, while there were so many constantly coming
to me with that important inquiry, " What must we do to be
saved ?" and opening to me the various exercises of their minds.
Yet 1 can say to the praise of rich grace, that the apparent
success with which my labours were crowned, unspeakably
more than compensated for the labour itself, and was likewise
a great means of supporting and carrying me through the busi-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 243
ss and fatigues, which, it seems, my nature would have sunk
der, without such an encouraging prospect. But although
is success has afforded matter of support, comfort, and thank-
iness ; yet in this season I have found great need of assistance
my work, and have been much oppressed for want of one to
ar a part of my labours and hardships. '^ May the Lord of
3 harvest send forth other labourers into this part of his har-
It, that those who sit in darkness may see great light ; and
It the whole earth mav be filled with the knowledge of him-
fl Amen."
CHAPTER VIII.
From the close of the Jirst part of his " Journal," JVbu.5, 1745,
to the I9th of June^ 1746 ; when the second part of his Jour-
nal terminated. This^ and the preceding chaj^ter^ occupy
one year — the most interesting year of Brainera^s Life,
Os Tuesday^ Nov, 5, Brainerd left the Indians, and spent
the remaining part of this week in travelling to various parts of
New-Jersey, m order to get a collection for the use of the In-
dians, and to obtain a schoolmaster to instruct them. In the
mean-time, he speaks of very sweet refreshment and entertain-
ment with christian friends, and of being sweetly employed
while riding, in meditation on divine subjects ; his heart being
enlarged, his mind clear, his spirit refreshed with divine truths,
and his ^' heart burning within him while he went by the way,
and the Lord opened to him the scriptures."
Lord^s day^ Nov, 10. [At Elizabeth Town.} " Was com-
fortable in the morning both in body and mind : preached m
the forenoon from 2 Cor. v. 20. Now then we are ambassa-
dors for Christy &c. God was pleased to give me freedom
and fervency in my discourse ; and the presence of God seem-
ed to be in the assembly ; numbers were affected, and there
were many tears among them. In the afternoon, preached
from Luke xiv. 22. And yet there is room. Was favoured
with divine assistance in the first prayer, and poured out my
soul to God with a filial temper ; the living God also assisted
me in the sermon."
The next day he went to Newtown on Long Island, to a
meeting of the Presbytery. He speaks of some sweet medita-
tio s which he had while there, on Christ's delivering up the
kirgdom to the Father ; and of his soul being much refreshed
and warmed with the consideration of that blissfiil day. -
Nov, 15. " Could not cross the ferry by reason of the violence
of the wind ; nor could I enjoy any place of retirement at the
Ft ry-house ; so that I was in perplexity. Yet God gave me
SOI e satisfaction and sweetness in meditation, and in lifting up
m) heart to him in the midst of company. Although some
we: drinking and talking profanely, which was indeed a grief
to n*e, yet my mind was calm and composed ; and I could not
MEMOIRS OF BRAINKRD. i. :245
but bless God, that I was not likely to spend an eternity in such
company. In the evening I sat down and wrote with compo-
sure and freedom ; and can say through pure grace it was a
comfortable evening to my soul ; an evening which I was ena-
bled to spend in the service of God.
Nov. 16. " Crossed the ferry about ten o'clock, and arrived
at Elizabeth Town near night. Was in a calm, composed
frame of mind, and felt an entire resignation, with respect
to a loss I had lately sustained in having my horse stolen from
me the last Wednesday night, at Newtown. Had some long-
ings of soul for the dear people of Elizabeth Town, that God
would pour out his Spirit upon them, and revive his work
among them.''
He spent the next four days at Elizabeth Town, for the
most part in a free and comfortable state of mind ; intensely
engaged in the service of God, and enjoying at times the
special assistance of his Spirit. On Thursday of this week
he rode to Freehold, and spent the day under considerable de-
jection.
Nov. 22. " Rode to Mr. Tennent's, and from thence to Cross-
weeksung. Had but little freedom in meditation while riding ;
which was a grief and burden to my soul. O that I could ml
up all my time, whether in the house or by the way, for God.
I was enabled, I think, this day to sive up my soul to God,
and put over all his concerns into his hands ; and found some
real consolation in the thought of being entirely at the divine
disposal, and having no will or interest of my own. I have
received my all from God ; O that I could return my all to
God ! Surely God is worthy of my highest affections and most
devout adoration ; he is infinitely worthy that I should make
him my last end, and live for ever to him. O that I might
never more, in any one instance, live to myself!
Lord^s day^ Nov. 34.* " Preached both parts of the day
from the story of Zaccheus, Luke xix. 1 — ^9. In the latter
exercise, when I opened and insisted upon the salvation that
comes to a sinner upon his becoming a son of Abraham or a
true behever, the word seemed to be attended with divine
power to the hearts of the hearers. Numbers were much af-
fected with divine truths ; former convictions were revived ;
one or two persons newly awakened ; and a most affectionate
engagement in divine service appeared among them universally.
The impressions they were under appeared to be the genuine
effect of God's word brought home to their hearts by the
power and influence of the Divine Spirit.
"^ The second part of the Jovrval began here.
'i40 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXKRP.
Nov. 26. " After having spent some time in private con-
ferences with my people, I discoursed publicly among them
from John v. 1 — 9. I was favoured with some special freedom
and fervency in my discourse, and a powerful energy accom-
panied divine truths. Many wept and sobbed affectionately,
and scarcely any appeared unconcerned in the whole assembly.
The influence which seized the audience, appeared gentle, and
yet pungent and efficacious. It produced no boisterous com-
motions of the passions ; but seemed deeply to affect the
heart, and excite in the persons under convictions of their lost
state, heavy groans and tears: and in others, wlio had ob-
tained comfort, a sweet and humble melting. It seemed like
the gentle but steady showers which effectually water the
earth, without violently beating upon the surface. The per-
sons lately awakened were some of them deeply distressed for
their souls, and appeared earnestly solicitous to obtain an
interest in Christ : and some of them, after public worship
was over, in anguish of spirit, said ^ they knew not whajt to
do, nor how to get their wicked hearts changed.'' &c.
Nov. 28. '^ Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after having
used some private endeavours to instruct and excite some in
the duties of Christianity. Opened and made remarks upon
the sacred story of our Lord's transfiguration, Luke ix. 38—36.
Had a principal view in insisting upon this passage of scripture
to the edification and consolation of God's people. Ob^rved
some, that I have reason to think are truly such, exceedingly
affected with an account of the glory- of Christ in his trans-
figuration, and filled with longing desires of being with him,
that they might with open face behold his glory.
" After public service was over, I asked one of them, who
wept and sobbed most affectionately, What she now wanted ?
She replied, " O, to be with Christ. She did not know how to
stay," &c. This was a blessed refreshing season to the religious
people in general. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest
his divine glory to them, as when transfigured before his dis-
ciples ; and they were ready with the disciples universally to
say, " Lord it is good for us to be here."
" The influence of God's word was not confined to those
who had given evidence of being truly gracious ; though at
this time Icalculated my discourse for and directed it chiefly
to such. But it appeared to be a season of Divine power in
the whole assembly ; so that most were in some measure af-
fected. One aged man, in particular, lately awakened, was
now brought under a deep and pressing concern for his soul,
was now earnestly inquisitive ^' how he might find Jesus
Christ." God seems still to vouchsafe his divine presence,
and the influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany his word,
at least in some measure, in all our meetings for divine
worship.
HEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 247
" I enjoyed some divine comfort and fervency in the public
exercise and afterwards. While riding to my lodgings, viras
favoured with some sweet meditations on Luke ix. 31. «^ Who
appeared in glory, and spake of his decease, which he should
accomplish at Jerusalem.^' My thoughts ran with freedom ;
and I saw and felt what a glorious subject the death of Christ
is for glorified souls to dwell upon in their conversation. O the
death of Christ ! how infinitely precious !
Nov. 30. ^^ Preached near night, after having spent some
hours in private conference with some of my people about their
souls^ concerns. Explained and insisted upon the story of the
rich man and Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19 — ^26. The wcM-d made
powerful impressions upon many in the assembly, especially
while I discoursed of the blessedness of Lazarus in Abraham^s
bosom. This I could perceive affected them much more than
what I spoke of the rich man^s misery and torments ; and thus
it has been usually with them. They have almost always ap*
peared much more affected with the comfortable than the
dreadful truths of God^s word. That which has distressed
many of them under conviction is, that they found they wanted,
and could not obtain, the happiness of the godly ; at least,
they have often appeared to be more affected with this than
with the terrors of hell. But whatever be the means of their
awakening, it is plain, numbers are made deepljr' sensible of
their sin and misery, the wickedness and stubbornness of their
own hearts, their utter inability to help themselves, or to come
to Christ for help, without divine assistance ; and so are brought
to see their perishing need of Christ to do all for them and to
lie at the foot of sovereign mercy.
Lord^s day^ Dec, 1. " Discoursed to my people in the fore-
noon from Luke xvi. 27 — 31. There appeared an unfeigned
affection in divers persons, and some seemed deeply impressed
with divine truths.' In the afternoon, preached to a number of
vdiite people ; at which time the Indians attended with dili-
gence, and many of them were unable to understand a consider-
able part of the discourse. At night discoursed to my people
again, and gave them particular cautions and directions rela-
ting to their conduct in divers respects, and pressed them to
watchfulness in their deportment, seeing they were encompassed
with those who waited for their halting, and who stood ready
to draw them into temptations of every kind, and then to ex-
pose religion by their missteps.
Dec. 2. " Was much affected with grief that I had not lived
more to God ; and felt strong resolutions to double my diligence
in my Master's service."
After this he went to a meeting of the Presbytery, at a place
in New Jersey, called Connecticut Farms ; which occasioned
24S It£ll0l&8 OF BRAWUU9*
his abflence from his people the remainder of the weeL He
speakf c^ some seasons of sweetness and spiritoal aflfoction in
his absence.
■
LanTs day, Dec. 8. ^ Discoursed on the story of the Uind
man, John ix. Th^ie appeared no remarkable effect of the.
word upon the assembly at this time. The persons who have
lately been much concerned for their souls, seemed now not ao
affected nor solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ as has
been usual ; although they attended divine service with smoua-
ness and diligence. Such have been the doings o{ the Lwd
here in awanning sinners, and affecting the hearts of thoae.
who are brou^t to solid comfort with a fresh sense of divine
thmasy from tune to time, that it is now strange to see the aa-
sembly sit with dry eyes and without sobs and groans. ...
. Dec; 0.'^ Spent most of the day in procuring {Hfovisions in
order to mv setting up house-keeping among the Indiana
Enjoyed little satisfaction through the day, being very much out
of my element.
Dec. 10. ^^ Was engaged in the same business as yesterday^
Towards night got into my house.*
Dec 1 1. ^^ Spent the forenoon in necessary labours about my
house. In the afternoon rode out upon business ; and spent tlis
evening with some satisfaction among -friends in conversation
on a serious and profitable subject
Dec. 12. ^^ Preached from tne parable of the Ten Virgms,
Matt XXV. The divine power seemed in some measure to at-
tend this discourse ; in which I was favoured with uncommon
freedom land plainness of address, and enabled to open divine
truths, and explain them to the capacities of my people in a
manner beyond myself. There appeared in many persons an
affectionate concern for their souls, although the concern in
general seemed not so deep and pressing as it had formerly
done. Yet it was refreshing to see many melted into tears and
unaffected sobs ; some with a sense of divine love, and some
for the want of it.
Dec. 13. ^^ Spent the day mainly in labour about my house.
In the evening, spent some time in writing; but was veiy ,
weary and much outdone with the labour of the day.
Dec. 14. " Rose early, and wrote by candle-li^ht some con-
sidei^ble time : spent most of the day in writmg, but was
somewhat dejected. In the evening was exercis^ with pain
in my head.
Dec. 15. " Preached to the Indians from Luke xiii. 24 — ^28.
Divine truth fell with weight and power upon the audience
* This is the third house that he built to dwell in among: the Indians. The
first at Kaunaumeek, county of Albany ; the second at the Forks of Delaware;
the third at Crossweeksang^, New-Jersey.
MEMOIRS or BRAINERD. 249
and seemed to reach the hearts of many. Near night dis-
coursed to them again from Matt. xxv. 31—46. At this season
also the word appeared to be accompanied with a divine in-
fluence, and made powerful impressions upon the assembly in
general, as well as upon numbers in a very special and par-
ticular manner. This was an amazing season of grace.
" The word of the Lord," this day, " was quick and power-
ful, sharper than a two edged sword," and pierced the
hearts oi many. The assembly was greatly affected and
deeply wrought upon ; yet without so much apparent commo-
tion of the passions as appeared in the beginning of this
work of grace. The impressions made by the word of God
upon the audience appeared solid, rational, and deep ; worthy
of the solemn truths by which they were produced ; and far
from being the eflects of any sudden fright or groundless per-
turbation of mind. O, how did the hearts of the hearers seem
to bow under the weight of divine truths ; and how evident
did it now appear, that they received and felt them, " not as
the word of man, but as the word of God." None can form
a just idea of the appearance of our assembly at this time but
those who have seen a congregation solemnly awed, aind
deeply impressed by the special power and influence of divine
truths delivered to them in the name of God.
Dec. 16. " Discoursed to my people in the evening from
Luke xi. 1 — 13. After having insisted some time upon the
ninth verse, wherein there is a command and encouragement
to ask for the divine favour, I called upon them to ask for a
new heart with the utmost importunity ; as the man mentioned
in the parable, on which I was discoursing, pleaded for loaves
of bread at midnight. There was much affection and con-
cern in the assembly, and especially one woman appeared in
great distress for her soul. She was brought to such an agony
in seeking after Christ, that the sweat ran off her face for a
considerable time together ; (although the evening was very
cold ;) and her bitter cries were the most affecting indications
of her heart."
The remainder of this day he spent chiefly in writing ; some
part of the time under a degree of melancholy ; but some
part of it with a sweet ardency in religion.
Dec, 21. " My people having now attained to a considerable
degree of knowledge in the principles of Christianity ; I
thought it proper to set up a catechetical lecture among them ;
and this evening attempted something in that form ; proposing
questions to them agreeably to the Assembly's Shorter
Catechbm, receiving their answers, and then explaioing and
insisting as appeared necessary and proper upon each question.
Vol. X. 32
wo HKMOIRft OP BKAUriKD.
After thiB I endeaToured to make aonie iHrtclical impraf enoant
of the whole. This was the mediod I enteied i4><hbu Thij
were able readily and rationally^ to answer many HqiorCavt
questions which I proposed to them; so. that, iqrah trialfl
found thdr doctrinal knowled|^ to exceed my omn (riipeiO
tions. In the improvement otmy disooune, whsii I came la
infer and open the blessedness of those, who hate so gseil
and glorious a God, as had before been spoken (Kf, ^fer Ifaair
everlasting friend and pmtion ;*^ several were mneh alfeelsdt
and especially when 1 exhorted, and endeavov^ed to p e i s mdd
them to be reconciled to (rod throng bis dear Qcm^ 9Stiiim
to secure an interest in his everlastmjg finroor. So thai Ihsf
appeared not only enHchtened and mstmcled, h«l aileflisS
and engaged in their soul's cimcem by this method of diseetn*
in^. After mv labours with the Indums, I spent some tiiaaai
writing some things divine and solemn ; said wasmudh i xwi iedt
with me labours of the day, found that my spmts wesa ex-
tremely spent, and that I could do no more. I am eonsdoas
to myself, that my labours are as great and constant as mv ■»>
ture will admit ; and ordinarily I go to the extent el my
strength, so that I do all I can : but the misery is 1 do nel
labour with that heavenly temper, that sinsde eye to the riosy
of God, that I long for/'
LorePs day^ "Dec. 32. ^^ Discoursed upon the stovy of the
young man in the Gospel, Matt ix. 16—22. God made it a
seasonable word, I am persuaded, to some souls. Theie weie
several of the Indians newly come here, who had frequently
lived among Quakers; and, being more civilized aiMi con-
formed to Enf^lish manners than the generality of the Indians,
they had imbibed some of the Quakers' errors, especially this
fondamental one, viz. ThcA^ if men wUl but ln>e soberfy tmd
honestly according to the dictates of their own conscietux9y or
the light within, there is then no danger or doubt of their sat-
vation. These persons I found much worse to deal with than
those who are wholly under Psjgan darkness ; who make no
pretences to knowledge in Christianity at all, nor have any
self-righteous foundation to stand upon. However, they all,
except one, appeared now convinced that this sober honest life
of itself was not sufficient to salvation ; since Christ himeelf
had declared it so in the case of the young man. They
seemed in some measure concerned to obtain that change of
heart, the necessity of which I had been labouring to show
them.
This was likewise a season of comfort to some souls, and in
particular to one, the same mentioned in my journal of the 16th
mstani, who never before obtained any settled comfort, though
I have abundant reason to think she had passed a saving change
some days before. She now appeared m a heavenly Iraune of
mind, composed, and delightedf with the divine will. When I
MEMOIRS or BRAINERD. 351
came to discourse particularly with her, and to inquire of her,
how she obtained relief and deliverance from the spiritual dis-
tresses which she had lately suffered ; she answered, in broken
£nglish,* " Me try^ me try save myself; last^ my strength be
aUgone; (meaning her ability to save herself;) could not me
9tir bit further. Den last me forced let Jesus Christ alone send
me hellj if he please.'^'* I said, ^' But^ you was not willing to go
to heU ; was you ?'*'* She replied, ^' Could not me help it. my
hearty he would wicked for all. Could not me make him good,
(meaning, she saw it was right she should go to hell, because
ker heart was wicked, and would be so after all she could do to
mend it.) I asked her, how she got out of this case. She
answered still in the same broken language, " By by, my heart
be glad desperately.^'* I asked heir, why her heart was glad ?
She replied, ^^ Glad my heart, Jesus Christ do what he please
with me. Den me tink, glad my heart Jesus Christ send me to
heU. Did not me care where he put me / love him for alV^ ^.
She could not readily be convinced, but that she was wilhne
to go to hell if Christ was pleased to send her there ; although
the truth evidently was, that her will was so swallowed up in
the divine will, that she could not frame any hell in her imagin-
ation which would be dreadful or undesirable, provided it was
the will of God to send her to it. Toward night discoursed to
them again in the catechetical method, which I entered upon
the evening before. When I came to improve the truth which
I had explained to them, and to answer that question, '^ But
how shall I know whether God has chosen me to everlasting
life ?" by pressing them to come and give up their hearts to
Christ, and thereby " to make their election sure," they then
appeared much affected: and persons under concern were
afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in him ; while some
others, who had obtained comfort before, were refreshed to find
that love to God in themselves, which was an evidence of his
electing love to them.
Dec. 23 and 24 " Spent three days in writing with the utmost
diligence. Felt in the main a sweet mortification to the world,
and a desire to live and labour only for God ; but wanted paore
warmth and spirituality, and a more sensible and affectionate
regard for the glory of God.
Dec. 25. " The Indians having been used on Christmas-days
to drink and revel among some of the white people in these
parts ; I thought it proper this day to call them together and
discourse to them upon divine things ; which I accordingly did
from the parable of the barren fig-tree, Luke xiii. 6 — 9. A di-
vine influence, I am persuaded, accompanied the word at this
* In proper English, «« Itried^ and tried to save myself, till at last my strength
was aU gone, and I could not stir any further. Then I was at last obliged to let
Jesus Christ alone, to send me to hell if he pleased.
5i53 MCJIOIR8 or braihk&d.
season. The power of Grod appeared in the assembly^ nol 1^
producing any remarkable crisis, but by rovufing seraral stand
creatures, who were scarcely ever moved with anv coneeni d»-
fore. The power attending divine truths seemw to have the
influence of the earthquake rather than of the whiriwmd apan
them. Their passions were not so much alarmed as ha» been
common here in times past, but their judgments appeared to be
powerfiilly convinced by the masterly and conquering inflnenee
of divine truths. The impressions made upon the a a s omt ^ m
general, seemed not superficial, but deep and heart-aflbeti^g.
I how ready did they now appear universally to embrace aM
comply with every thmg which they heard, and were convineed
was their dutf. God was in the midst of us of a tnilli, bow*
ing and melting stubborn hearts I How many tears and sobs
were then to be seen and heard amone us ! What liveliness aiMl
strict attention I What eagerness and intenseness of mind q^
peared in the whole assembly, in the time of Divine serviee.
They seemed to watch and wait for the droppings of GkNhi
word, as the thirsty earth for the '•^ former and latter rain.**
^^ Afterwards I discoursed to them on the duty of hnsbands
and wives, from Epb. v. 33, 33. and have reasim to tfiink this
WBs a word in season. Spent some time further in die ey eai ag
in inculcating the truths on which I had insisted in mv fbnner
discourse respectinir the barren fiir-tree ; and observea a now-
erfiil influence accLpany what was spoken.
Dec. 36. *'*' This evening was visited by a person under ^reat
spiritual distress ; the most remarkable instance of this kmd I
ever saw. She was I believe more than fourscore years old ;
and appeared to be much broken and very childish through age ;
so that it seemed impossible for man to instil into her any noti<Hi8
of Divine things ; not so much as to give her any doctrinal in-
struction, because she seemed incapable of being taught She
was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in eztrraie
anguish. I asked her, what ailed her ? She answered, her heart
was distressed, and she feared she should never find ChrisL I
asked her when she began to be concerned, with divers other
questions relating to her distress. To all which she answered,
for substance, to this effect : That she had heard me preach
many times^ but never knew any thing about «>, never fdi it in
her hearty till the last Sabbath^ and then it came^ she said, all one
as if a needle had been thrust into her heart ; since which time^
she had no rest day nor night. She added, that on the evening
before Christmas ^a number of Indians being together at the house
where she was^ and discoursing about Christy their talk pricked
her heart so tliat she could not set up, but fell down in her bed;
at which time she went away, as she expressed it, and felt as if
she dreamed, and yet is confident she did not dream. When she
was thus gone, she saw two paths ; one appeared very broad
MSMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 353
mnd crooked^ and that turned to the left hand. The other ap-
peared straight J and very narrow ; and that went up the hill to
the right hand. She travelled, she said, /or some time up the
narrow right hand path, till at length something seemed to oh-
struct her journey. She sometimes calied it darkness ; and then
described it otherwise, and seemed to compare it to a block or
bar. She then remembered what she had heard me say about
striving to enter in at the strait gate, although she took little
notice of it at the time when she heard me discourse upon that
fubjed ; and thought she would climb over this bar. But
just as she was thinking of this, she came back again, as she
termed it, meaning that she came to herself^ whereupon her soul
was extremely distressed, apprehending that she had now turned
hack, and forsaken Christ, and that there was therefore no hope
of mercy for her.
^^ As 1 was sensible that trances, and imaginary views of things
are of dangerous tendency in religion, where sought after and
depended upon ; so I could not but be much concerned about
this exercise, especially at first ; apprehending this might be a
design of Satan to bring a blemish upon the work of God here,
by introducing visionary scenes, imaginary terrors, and all man-
ner of mental disorders and delusions, in the room of genuine
convictions of sin, and the enlightening influences of the bless-
ed Spirit ; and 1 was almost resolved to declare, that I looked
upon this to be one of Satan's devices, and to caution my peo-
ple against this and similar exercises of that nature. However,
I determined first to inquire into her knowledge, to see whe-
ther she had any just views of things which misht be the occa-
sion of her present distressing concern, or whether it was a
mere fright, arising only from imaginary terrors. I asked her
divers questions respecting man's primitive, and more espe-
cially, his present state, and respecting her own heart ; which
she answered rationally, and to my surprise. I thought it next
to impossible, if not altogether so, that a Pagan, who was be-
come a child through age, should in that state gain so much
knowledge by any mere human instruction, without being re-
markably enlightened by a divine influence. I then proposed
to her the provision made in the Gospel for the salvation of sin-
ners, and the ability and willingness of Christ " to save to the
uttermost all, old as well as young, that come to him.'' To this
she seemed to give a hearty assent ; but instantly replied, " Aye,
but I cannot come ; my wicked heart will not come to Christ ;
I do not know how to come," &c. This she spoke in anguish
of spirits, striking on her breast, with tears in her eyes, and with
such earnestness in her looks, as was indeed piteous and affect-
ing. She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery,
and her need of a change of heart. Her concern is abiding
and constant, so that nothing appears why this exercise may
1
^156 MCMOIRS OF BEAIV XaP.
they soon came in, one after another, with team in their e]
taknow ** what they should do to be saved.^ The divine
rit in such a manner set home upon then* hearts what I
to them, that the house was soon filled with cries and groam*
They all flocked together upon this occasion ; and those ^riioai
I had reason to think in a Christless state, were almost 1miTe^
sally seized with concern for their souls. It was an »™""»|
season of power among them ; and seemed as if Grod hra
bowed the heavens and come down. So astonishingly previr
lent was the operation upon old as well as young, that it seemed
as if none would be left in a secure and natural state, but tint
God was now about to convert all the world. I was ready
to think then, that I should never affain despair of the conver-
sion of any man or woman living, be they who or wbai tbey
would.
^* It is impossible to give a just and lively description of liie
appearance of things at this season ; at least sucn as to oeih
vey a bright and adequate idea of the effects of this inflimica
A number might now be seen rejoicins that God had not taluBii
away the powerful influence of his Messed Spirit from tUi
place ; refireshed to see so many striving to enter in at tflB
strait gate ; and animated with such concern for them, that
they wanted to push them forward, as some of them ezpraised
it At the same time numbers, both of men and women, old
and young, might be seen in tears ; and some in anguish '<df
spirit appearing in their very countenances, like coimenined
malefactors bound towards the place of execution, with a heavy
solicitude sitting in their faces ; so that there seemed here, as i
thought, a lively emblem of the solemn day of account : a mix*
ture of heaven and hell ; of joy and anguish inexpressible.
^^ The c6ncern and religious affection was such, that I could
not pretend to have any formal religious exercise among them ;
but spent the time in discoursing to one and another, as I thou^t
most proper and seasonable for each; and addressed them all
togetner ; and finally concluded with prayer. Such were their
circumstances at this season, that I could scarcely have half an
hour^s rest from speaking, from about half an hour before
twelve o^clock, at which time I began public worship, till after
seven at night. There appeared to be four or five persons
newly awakened this day and the evening before; some of
whom but veiy lately came among us.
Dec. 30. " Was visited by four or five young persons, under
concern for their souls ; most of whom were lately awakened.
They wept much while I discoursed with them ; and endea*
voured to press upon them the necessity of flying to Christ
without delay for salvation.
Dec. 31. " Spent some hours this day in visiting my people
from house to house, and conversing with them about their spi-'
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERL). 257
ritual concerns ; endeavouring to press upon Christless souls
the necessity of renovation of heart ; and scarce left a house
without leaving some or other of its inhabitants in tears, appear-
ing solicitously engaged to obtain an interest in Christ.
" The Indians are now gathered together from all quarters
to this place, and have built them little cottages, so that more
than twenty families live within a quarter of a mile of me. A
very convenient situation with regard both to public and pri-
vate instruction.
Jem. 1, 1746. " I am this day beginning a new year, and God
has carried me through numerous trials and labours in the past.
He has amazingly supported my feeble frame ; for having ob-
tained help of God, I continue to this day. O that I might
live nearer to Grod this year than I did the last ! The business
to which I have been called, and which I have been enabled
to go through, I know has been as great as nature could bear
up under, and what would have sunk and overcome me quite,
without special support. But alas, alas ! though I have done
the labours and endured the trials ; with what spirit have I
done the one and endured the other ? How cold has been the
frame of my heart oftentimes I and how little have I sensibly
eyed the glory of God in all my doings and sufferings ! I have
found that I could have no peace without filling up all my time
with labour. Thus " necessity has been laid upon me ;" yea, in
that respect, I have loved to labour ; but the misery is, 1 could
not sensibly laj;)Our for God, as I would have done. May I for
the future be enabled more sensibly to make the glory of God
my all.
" Spent considerable time in visiting my people again. Found
scarcely one but what was under some serious impressions re-
specting their spiritual concerns.
Jan. 3. " Visited some persons newly come among us, who
had scarce ever heard any thing of Christianity before, except
the empty name. Endeavourea to instruct them, particularly
in the first principles of religion, in the most easy and familiar
manner I could. There are strangers from remote parts almost
continually dropping in among us, so that I have occasion re-
peatedly to open and inculcate the first principles of Chris-
tianity.
Jan. 4, " Prosecuted my catechetical method of instructing.
Found my people able to answer questions with propriety, be-
yond what could have been expected from persons so lately
brought out of heathenish darkness. In the improvement of
my discourse, there appeared some concern and affection in
the assembly : and especially in those of whom I entertained
hopes as being truly gracious, at least several of them were
much affected and refreshed.
Vol.. X. ^ 33
258 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERli.
Lord's day J Jan. 5. •• Discoursed from Matt. xii. 10—13.
There appeared not so much liveiiness and affection in divioe
service as usual. The same truths, which have often produced
many tears and sobs in the assembly, seemed now to have no
special influence upon any in it. Near night I proposed to
have proceeded in my usual method of catechising ; but while
we were engaged in Uie first prayer, the power of God seemed
to descend upon the assembly m such a remarkable maimer,
and so many appeared under pressing concern for their souk,
that I thought it much more expedient to insist upon the plen-
tiful provision made by divine grace for the redemption of
perishing sinners, and to press them to a speedy acceptance of
the great salvation, than to ask them questions about doctrinal
Eoints. What was most practical, seemed most seasonable to
e insisted upon, while numbers appeared so extraordinarily
solicitous to obtain an interest in the great Redeemer. Bimr
tized two persons this day : one adult, the woman particularly
mentioned in my Journal of Dec. 22, and one child.
^' This woman has discovered a very sweet and heavenly
frame of mind from time to time, since her ifirst reception of
comfort. One morning in particular, she came to see me, dis-
covering an unusual joy and satisfaction in her countenance ;
and when I inquired into the reason of it, she replied, ^'diat
God had made her feel that it was right for him to do what he
pleased with all things ; and that it would be right if he should
cast her husband and son both into hell ; and she saw it was
so right for God to do what he pleased with them, that she
could not but rejoice in God even if he should send them into
hell ;" though it was apparent she loved them dearly. She
moreover inquired whether I was not sent to preach to the In-
dians by some good people a great way off. I replied, " Yes,
by the good people in Scotland." She answered, " that her
heart loved those good people so the evening before, that she
could not help praying for them all night ; her heart would go
to God for them.*" Thus the blessings of those ready to perish
are like to come upon those pious persons who have communi-
cated of their substance to the propagation of the gospel.
Jan. 6. " Being very weak in body, I rode for my health.
While riding, my thoughts were sweetly engaged for a time
upon "the Stone cut out of the mountain without hands, which
broke in pieces all before it, and waxed great, and became a
freat mountain, and filled the whole earth : and I longed that
esus should take to himself his great power, and reign to the
ends of the earth." O how sweet were the moments wherein
I felt my soul warm with hopes of the enlargement of the
Redeemer's kingdom : I wanted nothing else, but that Christ
should reign to the glory of his blessed name.^'
MEMOIRS OF BRAINKRD. ^59
The next day he complains of want of fervenc}'.
Jan. 8. ^' In the evenmg my heart was drawn out after God
in secret ; my soul was refreshed and quickened, and I trust
£uth was in exercise. I had great hopes of the ingathering of
precious souls to Christ, ndt only among my own people, out
others also. I was sweetly resigned and composed under my
bodily weakness ; and was willing to live or die, and desirous
to labour for God to the utmost of my strength.
JoHi 9; ^^ Was still very weak, and exercised with vapoury
disorders. In the evening enjoyed some enlargement and spi-
rituality in prayer. Oh that I could always spend my timer pro-
fitably both in health and weakness.
Jan, 10. ^< My soul was in a sweet, calm, and composed
frame, and my heart filled with love to all the world; and Chris-
tian simplicity and tenderness seemied then to prevail and reign
within me. Near night visited a serious Baptist minister, and
had some agreeable conversation with him, and found that I
could love Christ in his fi'iends.
/cm. II. ^' Discoursed in a catechetical method, as usual, of
late. Having opened our first parentis primitive apostacy firom
God, and our fall in him; I proceeded to apply my discourse
by showing the necessity we stood in of an Almighty "Redeemer,
and the absolute need every sinner has of an interest in his
iilerits and mediation. There was some tenderness and afiec-
tionate concern apparent in the assembly.
Lard^8 dajfi Jan^ 12. ^^ Preached fi'om Isaiah Iv. 6. The
Ivord of G(^ seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine
freight and influence, and evidently appeared to be ^^ not the
Word of man.^^ The blessed Spirit I am persuaded accompa-
liied what was spoken to the hearts of many ; so that there was
It powerful revival of conviction in numbers who were under
spiritual exercise before.
" Toward night catechised in my usual method. Near the
close of my discourse, there appeared a great concern, and
much affection in the audience ; which increased while I con-
iinued to invite them to come to an all-sufficient Redeemer for
eternal salvation. The Spirit of God seems fi-om time to time
U^ be striving with souls here. They are so frequently and
repeatedly roused, that they seem unable at present to lull
themselves asleep.
Jan. 13. " Was visited by several persons tinder deep cori-
eem for their souls ; one of whom was newly awakened. It is
a[ most agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously
immiring « what they shall do to be saved." As we are never
to be " weary in well doing," so the obligation seems to be pe*
culiarly strong when the work is so very desirable. Yet I ftmslt
say, my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so- wasted
!260 MEMOIRS OF BRAlNiCBD.
with my labours and solitary manner of livine ; there being no
human creature in the house with me ; that meir repeated and
almost incessant applications to me for help and direction, are
sometimes exceedingly burdensome, and so exhausts my spirits,
that I become fit for nothing at all, entirely unable to prose-
cute my business, sometimes for days together. What contri-
butes much towards this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend
much time in communicating a little matter to them ; there
being oftentimes many things to be premised before I can speak
directly to what I principally aim at ; which things would rea'
dily be taken for granted, where there was a competency ot
doctrinal knowledge.
Jan. 14. ^ Spent some time in private conference with mf
people, and found some disposed to take comfort, as I thought,
upon slight grounds. They are now generallv awakened, and
it is become so disgraceful, as well as terri^ing to the con-
science, to be destitute of religion, that they are in imminent
danger of taking up with an appearance of grace, rather than
to live under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerated state
Jan. 15. ^' My spirits were very low and flat, and I could not
but think I was a burden to God^s earth ; and could scarcely
look any body in the face through shame and sense of barren-
ness. God pity a poor unprofitable creature.^^
The two next days he had some comfort and refireshment.
Jan, 18. " Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing:
There appeared a great solemnity and some considerable aflec-
tion in the assembly. This method of instruction I find very
profitable. When I first entered upon it, I was exercised witn
fears lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal, that
they would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to affect
the heart. But the event proved quite otherwise ; for these
exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter,
as well as the former respects.
hordes day^ Jan. 19. Discoursed to my people from Isaia&
Iv. 7. Toward night catechised in my ordinary method ; and
this appeared to be a powerful season of grace among us.
Numbers were much affected. Convictions were powerfiiUy
revived, and divers numbers of Christians refreshed and strength-
ened ; and one weary, heavy laden soul, I have abundant reason
to hope, brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ ; who
afterwards gave me such an account of God's dealing with
his soul, as was abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing
to me.
" He told me he had often heard me say, that persons must
see and feel themselves utterly helpless and undone — that they
must be emptied of a dependence upon themselves and of all
MEMOIftS OF BRAINERD. iMxl
hope of saving themselves, in order to their coming to Christ
for salvtttion. He had long been striving after this view of
things; supposing that this would be an excellent frame of
mind, to be thus emptied of a dependence upon his own good-
ness ; that God would have respect to this frame, would then
be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life upon him.
But when he came to feel himself in this helpless, undone con-
dition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts and expec-
tations; so that it was not the same frame, nor indeed any
thing like the frame after which he had been seeking. Instead
of its being a good frame of mind, he now found nothing but
badness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for him
to make himself any better. He wondered, he said« that he
had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He was amazed that
he had never before seen, that it was utterly impossible for him
by all his contrivances and endeavours to do any thing in that
way, since the matter now appeared to him in so clear a light
Instead of imagining: now that God would be pleased with him
for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view of his undone
estate, he saw clearly, and felt that it would be just with God,
to send him to eternal misery ; and that there was no goodness
in what he then felt ; for he could not help seeing, that he was
naked, sinful, and miserable, and that there was nothing in such
a sight to deserve God's love or pity.
^^ He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing,
that it seemed to him, he said, he could convince every body of
their utter inability to help themselves, and their unworthiness
of any help from God. Jn this frame of mind he came to
public worship this evening ; and while I was inviting sinners
to come to Christ naked and empty, without any go^oess of
their own to recommend them to his acceptance, then he thought
with himself that he had often tried to come and give up his
heart to Christ, and he used to hope that some time or other
he should be able to do so. But now he was convinced that
he could not, and that it was utterly vain for him ever to try
any more ; and he could not, he said, find a heart to make any
further attempt, because he saw it would signify nothing at all ;
nor did he now hope for a better opportunity or more ability
hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw, and was
fiilly convinced that his own strength would for ever fail.
** While he was musing in this manner^ he saw, he said, with
his heart, which is a common phrase among them, something
Uiat was unspeakably good and lovely, and what he had never
seen before; and ^' this stole away his heart whether he would
or no.'^ He did not, he said, know what it was that he saw.
He did not say, "this is Jesus Christ;" but it was such glory
and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give
away bis heart, as he had formerly intended and attempted to
264 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Jan. 31. '^ This day the person whom I had made choice of
and engaged for a school-master among the Indians, arrived
among us, and wais heartily welcomed by my people univer-
sally. Whereupon 1 distributed several dozens of primers
among the children.
Feb. 1. ^^ My school-master entered upon his business among
the Indians. He has generally about thirty children and young
persons in his school in the day time, and about fifteen mar-
ried people in the evening school. The number of the latter
sort of persons beins less than it would be if they could be
more constantly at home, and could spare time from their
necessary employments for an attendance upon these instruc-
tions.
" Towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a
divine subject, viz. that treated of I Cor. xv, 13 — 16, Bui if
there be no resurrection of the dcad^ <fec. which I ever remem-
ber to have had upon any subject whatsoever ; and spent two
or three hours in writing them. I was refreshed with this in-
tenseness ; my mind was so engaged in these meditations 1
could scarcely turn it to any thing else, and indeed I could not
be willing to part with so sweet an entertainment.
'^ In the evening catechised in my usual method. Towards
the close of my discourse, a surprismg power seemed to attend
the word, especially to some persons. One man considerably
in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer, and
murderer, and was awakened some months before, was now
brought to great extremity under his spiritual distress ; so that
he trembled for hours together, and apprehended himself just
dropping into hell, without any power to rescue or relieve him-
self. Divers others appeared under great concern as well as he,
and solicitous to obtain a saving change.
Lord^s day^ Feb. 2. " Preached from John v. 24, 25. There
appeared as usual some concern and affection iii the assembly.
Towards night proceeded in my usual method of catechising.
Observed my people more ready in answering the questions pro-
posed to them than ever before. It is apparent they advance
daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more desirable,
the Spirit of God is yet operating among them ; whereby ex-
perimental, as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in
their minds.
" After public worship, my bodily strength being much spent,
my spirits sunk amazingly, and especially on hearing that 1
was generally taken to be a Roman Catholic, sent by the Pa-
pists to draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English,
that some were in fear of me, and others were for having me
taken up by authority and punished. Alas, what will not the
devil do to bring a slur and disgrace on the work of God ! O,
MKMUlRb or BKAIM£RD. :265
how holy and circumspect had I need to be I Through divine
goodness I have been enabled to mind my own business in
Uiese parts as well as elsewhere ; and to let all men, and all
denominations of men alone, as to their party notions, and
only preached' the plain and necessary truths of Christianity^
neither inviting to, nor excluding from any meeting, any of any
sort or persuasion whatsoever. Towards night the Lord gave
me freedom at the throne of grace in my first prayer before
my catechetical lecture ; and, in opening the xlvth Psalm to
my people, my soul confided in God; although the wicked
world should slander and persecute me, or even condemn and
execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly, " God
is a present help in time of trouble.'' In the evening my soul
was m some measure comforted, having some hope that one
poor soul was brought home to God this day ; though the case
did by no means appear clear. Oh that I could fill up every
moment of time during my abode here below in the service of
my God and King.
Feb. 3. " My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard
the day before of my being suspected to be engaged in the
Pretender's interest. It grieved me, that after there had been
so much evidence of a glorious work of grace among these
poor Indians, as that the most carnal men could not but take
notice of the great change made among them, so many poor
souls should still suspect the whole to be only a Popisfi plot,
and so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the
diirine Spirit, and at the same time wholly exclude themselves
from receiving any benefit by this divine influence. This put
me upon searching whether t had ever dropped any thing inad-
vertently, which might give occasion to any to suspect that I
was stirring up the Indians against the English ; and could
think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to
vindicate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the
horrid practice of making the Indians drunk, and then cheat-
ing them out of their lands and other property. Once I re-
membered I had done this with too much warmth of spirit,
which much distressed me; thinking that it might possibly
prejudice them against this work of grace to their everlasting
destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial, which
served to humble me, and show me the necessity of watch-
fulness, and of being wise as a serpent as well as harmless as
a dove. This exercise led me to a throne of grace, and there
I found some support: though I could not get the burden
wholly removed. Was assisted in prayer, especially in the
evening."
He remained still under a degree of anxiety about this affair,
which continued to have the same effect upon him to cause him
Vol. X. 34
26(5 M£MOIRS OF BRAINERU.
to reflect upon and humble himself, and frequent the tlurone of
grace ; but soon found himself much more relieved and sup-
ported. He was this week in an extremely weak state, and
obliged, as he expresses it, ^' to consume considerable time in
diversions for his health."
Feb. 5. " Discoursed to a considerable number of tlie Indians
in the evening ; at which time numbers of them appeared much
afiected and melted with divine things.
Feb. 8. ^' Spent a considerable part of the day in visiting
my people from house to house, and conversing with them
about their souPs concerns. Divers persons wept while I dis-
coursed to them, and appeared concerned for nothing so much
as for an interest in the great Redeemer. In the evening cate-
chised as usual. Divine truths made some impressions upon
the audience ; and w^re attended with an afiectionate engage'
ment of soul in some.
hordes day J Feb, 9. "Discoursed to niy people from the
story of the blind man. Matt. x. 46 — ^52. The word of God
seemed weighty and powerful upon the assembly at this time,
and made considerable impressions upon manv; several in
particular, who have generally been remarkably stupid and
careless under the means of grace, were now awakened^ and
wept afiectionately. The most earnest attention, as well bs
tenderness and afiection appeared in the audience universally.
" Baptized three persons ; two adults and one child. The
adults, I have reason to hope, were both truly pious. There
was considerable melting in the assembly, while I was dis-
coursing particularly to the persons, and administering the
ordinance. God has been pleased to own and ble&s the admi-
nistration of this as well as of his other ordinances among the
Indians. There are some here who have been powerfully awa-
kened at seeing others baptized ; and some who have obtained
relief and comfort just in the season when this ordinance has
been administered.
" Toward night catechised. God made this a powerful sea-
son to some. There were many affected. Former convictions
appeared to be powerfully revived. There was likewise one
who had been a vile drunkard remarkably awakened. He ap-
peared to be in great anguish of soul, wept and trembled, and
continued to do so till near midnight. There was also a poor
heavy-laden soul, who had been long under spiritual distress,
as constant and pressing as I ever saw, who was now brought
to a comfortable calm, and seemed to be bowed and reconciled
to the divine sovereignty, and told me she now felt and saw
that it was right for God to do with her as he pleased ; and
that her heart felt pleased and satisfied it should be so ; although
of late she had often found her heart rise and quarrel with
M£MOIRS OF BRAINERD. 267
GcmI, because he would, if he pledsed^ send her to hell after all
she had done, or could do to save herself. She added, that
the heavy burden she had lain under was now removed ; that
she had tried to recover her concern and distress again, fear-
ing that the Spirit of God was departing from her, and would
leave her wholly careless, but that she could not recover it ;
that she felt, she never could do any thing to save herself, but
must perish for ever if Christ did not do all for her ; that she
did not deserve he should help her ; and that it would be right
if he should leave her to perish. But Christ would save her
though she could do nothing to save herself, &c. and here she
seemed to rest."
The Monday after he set out on a journey to the Forks of
Delaware, to visit the Indians there. He performed the jour-
ney under great weakness, and was sometimes exercised with
much pain ; but says nothing of his dejection and melancholy.
He arrived at his own house at the Forks on Friday, During
Ae week he appears from his Diary to have enjoyed a sweet
composure of mind, thankfulness to God for his mercies to
him and others, resignation to the divine will, and comfort in
prayer and religious conversation. At the same time his heart
was drawn out after God, and affected with a sense of his
own barrenness, as well as with the fulness and freeness of
divine grace.
" Forks of Delaware^ February^ 1746.
hordes day^ February 16. " Knowing that numbers of the
Indians in these parts were obstinately set against Christianity,
and that some of them had refused to hear me preach in times
past, I thought it might be proper and beneficial to the Chris-
tian interest here, to have a number of my religious people
from Crossweeksung with me, to converse with them about
religious matters; hoping it might be a means to convince
them of the truth and importance of Christianity, to see and
hear some of their own nation discoursing of divine things,
and manifesting earnest desires that others might be brought
out of heathenish darkness, as themselves were. For this pur-
pose I selected half a dozen of the most serious and intelligent
of those Indians, and having brought them to the Forks of
Delaware, I this dav met with them and the Indians of this
place. Numbers of the latter probably could not have been
prevailed upon to attend this meeting, had it not been for
these religious Indians, who accompanied me hither, and
preached to them. Some of those who had in times past
been extremely averse to Christianity, now behaved soberly ,
and some others laughed and mocked. However the word of
^268 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
God fell with such weight and power that numbers seemed to
be stunned, and expressed a willingness to hear mc agun ai
these matters.
" Afterwards prayed with and made an address to the white
people present, and could not but observe some visible effects
of the word, such as tears and sobs among them. After pub-
lie worship, spent some time, and took pains to convince trwiie #|
that mocked of the truth and importance of what I had been j
insisting upon ; and so endeavoured to awaken their attention <
to divine truths. Had reason to think from what I observed
then and afterwards, that my endeavours took considerable
effect upon one of the worst of them.
" Those few Indians then present, who used to be my hearen
in these parts, some having removed hence to Crossweeksung,
seemed somewhat kindly disposed toward me, and glad to see
me again. They had been so much attacked, however, by some
of the opposing Pagans, that they were almost ashamed or
afraid to manifest their friendship.
Feb. 17. " After having spent much time in discoursing to
the Indians in their respective houses, I got them together and
repeated and inculcated what I had before taught them. At
terwards discoursed to them from Acts viii. 5—8. A divine
influence seemed to attend the word. Several of the Indiani
here appeared to be somewhat awakened, and manifested ear-
nest tears and sobs. My people of Crossweeksung continued
with them day and night repeating and inculcating the truths
I had taught them, and sometimes prayed and sung psalms
among them ; discoursing with each other in their hearing of
the great things God had done for them and for the Indians
from whence they came. This seemed, as my people toW
me, to have more effect upon them, than when they directed
their discourse immediately to them. I was refreshed and en-
couraged, and found a spirit of prayer in the evening, and
earnest longings for the illumination and conversion of these
poor Indians.
Feb. 18. " Preached to an assembly of Irish people, nearly
fifteen miles distant from the Indians.
Feb. 19, " Preached to the Indians again, after having spent
considerable time in conversing with them more privately.
There appeared a great solemnity and some concern and m-
fection among the Indians belonging to these parts, as well as
a sweet melting among those who came with me. ]>lumbers
of the Indians nere seemed to have their prejudices and aver-
sion to Christianity removed ; and appeared well disposed and
inclined to hear the word of God. My heart was comforted
and refreshed, and my soul filled with longings for the conver-
sion of these poor Indians.
MEMOIRS OP BRAINERD. 269
Feb. 20. " Preached to a small assembly of High Dutch
people who had seldom heard the gospel preached, and were
some of them at least very ignorant ; but numbers of them
have lately been put upon an inquiry after the way of salvation
with thoughtfulness. They gave wonderful attention; and
some of them were much affected under the word, and after-
wards said, as I was informed, that they never had been so
much enlightened about the way of salvation in their whole
lives before. They requested me to tarry with them, or come
again and preach to them. It grieved me that I could not
compl]^ with their request. I could not but be affected with
their circumstances ; for they were as " sheep not having a
shepherd,^' and some of them appeared under some degree of
distress for sin ; standing in peculiar need of the assistance of
ad experienced spiritual guide.
• " God was pleased to support and refresh my spirits by afford-
ing me assistance this day, and so hopeful a prospect of suc-
cess. I returned home rejoicing and blessing the name of the
Lord ; found freedom and sweetness afterward in secret prayer,
and had my soul drawn out for dear friends. Oh how blessed
a thing it is to labour for God faithftilly and with encourage-
ment of success ! Blessed be the Lord for ever and ever for the
assistance and comfort granted this day !
Feb» 2L " Preached to a number of people, many of them
Low Dutch. Several of the fore-mentioned High Dutch peo->
pie attended the sermon, though eight or ten miles distant from
their houses. Numbers of the Indians also, belonging to these
parts, came of their own accord with my people from Cross*
weeksung, to the meeting. — There were two in particular, who
though the last Sabbath they opposed and ridiculed Christian-
i^, now behaved soberly. May the present encouraging appear-
ances continue !
^^ My soul was refreshed and comforted ; and I could not but
bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to be
fidthfiil the day past. Oh how sweet it is to be spent and worn
put for God.
Feh. 22. " Preached to the Indians. They appeared more
jfree from prejudice and more cordial to Christianity than be-
fore ; and some of them appeared affected with divine truths.
My spirits were much supported though my bodily strength
was much wasted. Oh that God would be gracious to the souls
of these poor Indians !
** God has been very gracious to me this week. He has ena-
bled me to preach every day ; and has given me some assist-
ance and encouraging prospect of success in almost every ser-
mon. — ^Blessed be his name ! Several of the white people have
been awakened this week ; and numbers of the Indians much
270 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN'ERD.
cured of prejudices and jealousies which they had conceived
against Christianity, and seem to be really awakened.
Lord's day^ Feb. 23. " Preached to the Indians from John
vi. 35 — ^37. After public service discoursed particularly with
several of them, and invited them to go down to Crossweek-
sung, and tarry there at least for some time ; knowing that
they would then be free from the scoffs and temptations of the
opposing Pagans, as well as in the way of hearing divine truths
discoursed of both in public and private. Obtained a promise
of some of them that they would speedily pay us a visit, and
attend some farther instructions. They seemed to be consider-
ably enlightened, and much freed from their prejudices against
Christianity. But it is much to be feared that their prejudices
will revive again, unless they can enjoy the means of instruG-
tion here, or oe removed when they may be under such advan-
tages, and out of the way of their Pagan acquaintances."
.The next day Brainerd left the Forks of Delaware to retmn
to Crossweeksung, and spent the whole week till Saturday in
his journey. He preached on the way every day except one;
and was several times greatly assisted, and had much inward
comfort and earnest longings to fill up all his time in the ser-
vice of God. — He utters such expressions as these after preach-
ing : ^' Oh that I may be enabled to plead the cause of God
faithfully to my dying moment. Oh how sweet it would be to
spend myself wholly for God and in his cause, and to be freed
from selfish motives in my labours."
Crossweeksung^ March^ 1746.
March 1. " Catechised in my ordinary method. Was pleased
and refreshed to see them answer the questions proposed to
tliem with such remarkable readiness, discretion, and know-
ledge. Toward the close of my discourse divine truths made
considerable impressions upon the audience, and produced
tears and sobs in some under concern ; and more especially a
sweet and humble melting in several, who I have reason to
hope were truly gracious.
Lords day^ March 2, " Preached from John xv. 16. The
assembly appeared not so lively in their attention as usual, nor
so much affected with divine truths in general as has been com-
mon. Some of my people who went up to the Forks of Dela-
ware with me, being now returned, were accompanied by two
of the Indians belonging to the Forks, who had promised me
a speedy visit. May the Lord meet with them here. They
can scarcely go into a house now but they will meet with Chris-
tian conversation, whereby it is to be hoped they may be both
instructed and awakened.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 271
" Discoursed to the Indians again in the afternoon, and ob-
served among them some animation and engagedness in divine
service, though not equal to what has often appeared here. I
know of no assembly of Christians, where there seems to be
so much of the presence of God, where brotherly love so much
prevails, and where I should take so much delight in the pub-
lic worship of God in general, as in my own congregation ;
although not more than nine months ago they were worship*
pinff devils and dumb idols under the power of Pagan darkness
and superstition. Amazing change this ! effected by nothing
less than divine power and grace. This is the doing of the
XiOrd, and it is justly marvellous in our eyes."
The four next days were spent in great bodily weakness, but
he speaks of some seasons of considerable inward comfort.
March 5. " Spent some time just at evening in prayer, sing-
ing, and discoursing to my pepple upon divine things ; and ob-
served some agreeable tenderness and aiSection among them.
Their present situation is so compact and commodious, that
they are easily and quickly called together with only the sound
of a conk-shell, (a shell like that of a periwinkle,) so that they
have frequent opportunities of attending religious exercises
publicly. This seems to be a great means under God of keep-
ing alive the impressions of divine things in their minds.
March 6. "I walked alone in the evening, and enjoyed
sweetness and comfort in prayer beyond what I have of late
enjoyed. My soul rejoiced in my pilgrim state; and I was
delighted with the thoughts of labouring and enduring hard-
ness for God ; felt some longing desires to preach the gospel
to dear immortal souls ; and confided in God, that he would be
with me in my work, and that he never would leave nor for-
sake me to the end of my race. Oh may I obtain mercy of
God to be faithful to my dying moment !
Match 7. " In the afternoon went on with my work with
freedom and cheerfulness, God assisting me, and enjoyed com-
fort in the evening.
March 8. " Catechised in the evening. My people answered
the questions proposed to them well. I can perceive their
knowledge in religion increases daily. And what is still more
desirable, the divine influence which has been so remarkable
among them, appears still to continue in some good measure.
The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly this even-
ing. Some who I have good reason to think are Christians
inaeed, were melted with a sense of divine goodness, and
their own barrenness and ingratitude, and seemed to hate them-
selves^ as one of them afterwards expressed it. Convictions
also appeared to be revived in several instances ; and divine
•272 MEMOIRS OV BRAINERD.
truths were attended witli such influence upon the assembly
in general, that it might justly be called an evening of divine
power.
Lord^s cUw^ March 9. '* Preached from Luke x. 38— 4@L
The word of God was attended with power and energy up<Hi
the audience. Numbers were affected, and concerned to obtain
the one thins needful. Several who have given good evideqce
of being truly gracious, were much affected with a want of
spirituality, and saw the need they stood in of growing in
grace. The greater part of those who had been under asxf
impressions oi divine things in times past, seemed now to hafe
those impressions revived.
^' In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in my usual
method. But while we were engaged in the first prayer in the
Indian language, as usual, a great part of the assembly was so
much moved and affected with divine things, that 1 thought it
seasonable and proper to omit the proposing of questions tor
that time, and to insist upon the most practical truths. I 8&
cordinsly did so : making a further improvement of the pas-
sage OI bcripture on which I had discoursed in the former part
of the day. There appeared to be a powerful divine influence
in the congregation. Several who, as I have reason think, are
truly pious, were so deeply affected with a sense of their own
barreimess, and their unworthy treatment of the blessed Re-
deemer, that they looked on him as pierced by themselves, and
mourned^ yea, some of them were in bitterness as for a first'
bom.
" Some poor awakened sinners also appeared to be in anguish
of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; so that there was a great
mourning in the assembly : many heavy groans, sobs, and tears!
and one or two newly come among us, were considerably awa-
kened.
" Methinks it would have refreshed the heart of any who
truly love Zion^s interests, to have been in the midst of this
divine influence, and seen the effects of it upon saints and sin-
ners. The place of divine worship appeared both solenm and
sweet, and was so endeared by a display of the divine pre-
sence and grace, that those who had any relish for divine
things could not but cry, " How amiable are thy tabernacles,
Lord of hosts !" After public worship was over, numbers
came to my house, where we sang and discoursed of difine
things; and the presence of God seemed here also to be in
the midst of us.
" While we were singing^ there was one individual, the wo-
man mentioned in my journal of February 9, who I may ven-
ture to say, if I may be allowed to say so much of any person
1 ever saw, was " filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory ;"
and could not but burst forth in prayer and praises to God be-
£
MEMOIRS OF BRAZNERD. 273
fore us all with many tears ; crying sometimes in English, and
sometimes in Indian, " O blessed Lord/ do come^do come! O
do take me away ; do let me die and §o to Jesus Christ ! I am
taid if I live I shall sin again. O do let me die now ! O dear
iw, do come ! I cannot stay^ I cannot stay ! O how can I live
in this world? do fake my soul away from this sinful place/
O let me never sin any more / O what shall Ido^ what shall I
do^ dear Jesus / O dear Jesus /" In this ecstasy she continued
some time, uttering these and similar expressions incessantly.
The grand argument she used with God to take her away im-
mediately was, that " if she lived she should sin against him."
When she had a little recovered herself, I asked her, if Christ
was now sweet to her soul ? Whereupon, turning to me with
tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens of deep humility f
erer saw in any person, she said, ^' I have many times heard
ou speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, that
e was better than all the world. But O I knew nothing what
you meant. I never believed you, I never believed you ! But
now I know it is true ;" or words to that eJBTect. I answered,
« And do you see enough in Christ for the greatest of sinners ?*'
She replied, ^' O enough, enough for all the sinners in the world,
tf they would but come." When I asked her, " If she could
not tell them of the goodness of Christ :" — ^Turning herself
about to some Christless souls who stood by and were much
affected, she said, ^^ Oh there is enough in Christ for you if you
would but come. O strive, strive to give up your hearts to
him,^^ &e. On hearing something of the slory of heaven men*
tioned, that there was no sin in that world, she again fell into
the same ecstasy of joy and desire of Christ ^s coming, repeat-
ing her former expressions, '* O dear Lord, do let me go ! O
what shall I do ; what shall I do. I want to go to Christ. I
cannot live. O do let me die," &c.
She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours
before she was able to get home. I am very sensible that there
mJay be great joys arising even to an ecstasy, where there is
stOl no substantial evidence of their being well grounded. But
in the present case there seemed to be no evidence wanting in
order to prove this joy to be divine, either in regard to its pre*
paratives, attendants, or consequents.
Of all the persons whom I have seen under spiritual exer«
cise, I scarcely ever saw one appear more bowed and broken
onder convictions of sin and misery, or what is usually called a
preparatory work, than this woman ; nor scarcely any who
seemed to have a greater acquaintance with her own heart
than she had. She would frequently complain to me of the
hardness and rebellion of her heart. Would tell me that her
beart rose and quarrelled with God when she thought he would
Vol. X. 35
214 MEMOIRS OF BRAUURli.
do with her as he pleased, and send her to hell, notwithstand-
ing her prayers, good frames, die. that her heart was not will-
ing to come to Christ for salvation, but tried every where else
for help. As she seemed to be remarkably sensible of her stub-
bornness and contrariety to God under conviction, so she ap-
peared to be no less remarkably bowed and reconciled to lus
sovereignty before she obtained any relief or comfort ; some-
thing of which I have noticed in my journal of Feb. 9. Since
that time she has seemed constantly to breathe the temper and
spirit of the new creature: crying after Christ, not through
fear of hell as before, but with strong desires after him as her
only satisfying portion ; and has manv times wept and sobbed
bitterly, because as she apprehendedf, she did not waA coidd
not love him. When I have sometimes a^ed her why she i^
peared so sorrowful, and whether it was because she was afraid
of hell, she would answer, ^^ No, I be not distressed about (to,
but my heart is so wicked I cannot love Christ ;*^ and thereupon
burst mto tears. But although this has been the habitual frame
of her mind for several weeks together, so that the exercise of
grace appeared evident to others ; yet she seemed wholly ift-
sensible to it herself, and never had any remarkable comfioft
and sensible satisfaction until this evening.
This sweet and surprising ecstasy appeared to spring from a
true spiritual discovery of the glory, ravishing beauty, and ex-
cellency of Christ ; and not from any gross imaginary notions
of his human nature, such as that of seeing him m such a
place or posture, as hanging on the cross, as bleeding and
dying, as gently smiling, and the like ; which delusions some
have been carried away with. Nor did it rise from scMrdid,
selfish apprehensions of her having any benefit whatsoever
conferred on her ; but from a view of his personal excelleacy
and transcendant loveliness ; which drew forth those vehement
desires of enjoying him which she now manifested, and made
her long, " to be absent from the body, that she might be pre-
sent with the Lord."
The attendants of this ravishing comfort were such, as abun-
dantly discovered its spring to be divine ; and that it was truly
" a joy in the Holy Ghost." Now she viewed divine truths as
living realities, and could say, " I know these things are so ; I
feel that they are true !" Now her soul was resigned to the
divine will in the most tender point; so that when I said to
her, " What if God should take away your husband* from vou,
who was then very sick, how do you think you could bear
that?" She replied, " He belongs to God and not to me ; he
may do with him just as he pleases." Now she had the most
tender sense of the evil of sin, and discovered the utmost aver-
'"' The man mentioned in my Journal of January 19.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. '275
sion to it, and longing to die, that she might be delivered from
it Now she could freely trust her all with God for time and
eternity. When 1 questioned her, " How she would be will-
ing to die and leave her little infant ; and what she thought
would become of it in that case ?" she answered, " God will
take care of it." Now she appeared to have the most hum-
bling sense of her own meanness and unworthiness, her weak-
ness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to perse-
vere in the way of holiness, crying, " If I live I shall sin."
I then thought that I had never seen such an appearance of
ecstasy and humility meeting in any one person in all my life
before.
" The consequents of this joy are no less desirable and satis-
factory than its attendants. She since appears to be a most
tender, broken-hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble Chris-
tian ; as exemplary in life and, conversation as any person in
my congregation. May she still '^ grow in grace and in the
knowledge of Christ."
March 10. " Towards night the Indians met together, of their
own accord, and sang, prayed, and discoursed of divine things
among themselves ; at which time there was much affection
among them^ Some who are hopefully gracious, appeared to
be melted with divine things ; and some others seemed much
cbnc^ned for their souls. Perceiving their engagement and
afiection in religious exercises, I went among them, and prayed,
and gave a word of exhortation ; and observed two or three
somewhat affected and concerned, who scarce ever appeared
to be under any religious impressions before. It seemed to be
a day and .evening of divine power. Numbers retained the
warm impressions of divine things which had been made upon
tiieir minds the day before.
*♦ My soul was refreshed with freedom and enlargement, and
i hope the lively exercise of faith in secret prayer this night.
Sfy will was sweetly resigned to the divine will ; my hopes
respecting the enlargement of the kingdom of Christ some-
what raised ; and I could commit Zion's cause to God as
his awn.^^
On Tuesday he speaks of some sweetness and spirituality in
Christian conversation. On Wednesday^ complains that he
enjoyed not much comfort and satisfaction through the day,
because he did but little for God. On Thursday , spent a con-
siderable time in company on a special occasion, but in per-
plexity, because without salutary religious conversation.
March 14. '^ Was visited by a considerable number of my
people and spent some time in religious exercises with them.
376 MEMOIRS OF SRAINEBS.
March 15. ^^ In the evening catechised. My people answered
the questions put to them with surprising readiness and judg-
ment. There appeared some warmth, and a feeling sense of
divine things among those who I have reason to hope are real
Christians, while I was discoursing upon peace. of conscience
and joy in the Holy Ghost. These seemed quickened and en-
livened in divine service, though there was not so much appear*
ance of concern among those whom I have reason to think in
a Christless state,^^
In the former part of the week following he was very ill, and
under great dejection ; being rendered unserviceable by his ill«
ness, and fearing that he should never be serviceable any more;
and therefore exceedingly longed for death. But afterwards he
was more encouraged, and lite appeared more desirable ; be-
cause, as he says, he '* had a little dawn of hope that he might
be useful in the world/' In the latter part of this week he was
somewhat relieved of his illness in the use of means prescribed
by his physician.
Lord*8 day^ March 16. '* Preached to my congregation from
Heb. ii. 1 — 3. Divine truths seemed to have some considerable
influence upon some of the hearers, and produced many tears,
as well as heav^ sighs and sobs, among those who have given
evidence of being real Christians, and others also. The im-
pressions made upon the audience appeared in general deep
and heart-afiecting ; not superficial, noisy, and affected.
" Towards night discoursed again on the Great Salvation.
The word was again attended with some power upon the audi-
ence. Numbers wept affectionately, and to appearance, tm-
feignedly ; so that the Spirit of God seemed to be moving upon
the face of the assembly. Baptized the woman particularly
mentioned in my journal of last Lord's day, who now as well
as then appeared to be in a devout, humble, and excellent
frame of mind.
" My house being thronged with my people in the evening, I
spent the time in reli^ous exercises with them, until my nature
vvas almost spent. They are so unwearied in religious exer-
cises, and insatiable in their thirsting after Christian knowledge,
that I can sometimes scarcely avoid labouring so as greatly to
exhaust my strength and spirits.
March 19. " Several of the persons who went with me to
the Forks of Delaware in February last, having been detained
there by the dangerous illness of one of their company, re-
turned home but this day. Whereupon my people generally
met together of their own accord, in order to spend some time
in religious exercises ; and especially to give thanks to God for
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 277
his preserving goodness to those who had been absent from
tfiem for several weeks, and recovering mercy to him who had
been sick ; and that he had now returned them all in safety.
As 1 was then absent, they desired my school-master to assist
them in carrying on their religious solemnity ; who tells me
that they appeared engaged and affectionate in repeated
prater, smging, &c.
March 22. ^^ Catechised in my usual method in the evening.
My people answered questions to my great satisfaction. There
appeared nothing very remarkable in the assembly, consider-
ing what has been common among us. Although I may justly
say, the strict attention, the tenderness and affection, the many
tears and heart-affecting sobs, appearing in numbers in the as-
sembly would have been very remarkable, were it not that God
has made these things common with us, and even with strati'
gers soon after their coming among us from time to time. I
am far from thinking that every appearance and particular in-
stance of affection that has been among us has been truly
Senuine, and purely from a divine influence. I am sensible of
. le contrary ; and doubt not but that there has been some cor-
rupt mixture, some chaff as well as wheat ; especially since
religious concern appeared so common and prevalent here.
£ord^9 day^ March 23. " There being ^owlffteen strangers^
adult persons, come among us in the week past, several of whom
had never been in any religious meeting till now, I thought it
proper to discourse this day in a manner peculiarly suited to
their circumstances and capacities ; and accordingly attempted
it from Hosea xiii. 9. " O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself,"
&c. In the forenoon, I opened in the plainest manner I could,
man^s i4)ostasy and ruined state, after having spoken some
^ngs respectmg the being and perfections of God, and his
creation of man in a state of uprightness and happiness. In
the afternoon endeavoured to open the glorious provision which
God has made for the redemption of apostate creatures, by
giving his own dear Son to suffer for them, and satisfy divine
justice on their behalf. There was not that affection and con-
cern in the assembly which has been common among us;
although there was a desirable attention appearing in general,
and even in most of the strangers.
" Near sun-sot I felt an uncommon concern upon my mind,
especially for the poor strangers^ that God had so much with-
held his presence and the powerful influence of his Spirit from
the assembly in the exercises of the day ; and thereby withheld
from them that decree of conviction which I hoped they might
have had. In this frame I visited several houses and discoursed
with some concern and affection to several persons particu-
larty ; but without much appearance of success, till I came to
a house where several of the strangers were. There the solemn
278 MEMOIRS or brainerd.
truths on which I discoursed appeared to take effect ; first upoa
some children, then upon several adult persons who had been *
somewhat awakened before, and afterwards upon several of
the Pagan strangers.
" 1 continued my discourse with some fervency, until almost
every one in the house was melted into tears, and divers wept
aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned to obtain an interert
in Christ Upon this numbers soon gathered from all the houses
round about, and so thronged the place that we were obliged
to remove to the house where we usually met for public wor-
ship. The congregation gathering immediately, and many
appearing remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from
Luke xix. lU. For the Son of man is come to seek^ &c endea-
vouring to open the mercy, compassion, and concern of Christ
for lost, helpless, and undone sinners. There was much vbiUe
concern and affection in the assembly, and I doubt not but
that a divine influence accompanied what was spoken to the
hearts of many. There were five or six of the strangers, men
and women, who appeared to be considerably awakened ; and
in particular one very rugged young man, who seemed as H
nothing would move him, was now brought to tremble like the
jailer, and weep for a long time.
^^ The Pagans who were awakened, seemed at once to put off
their savage roughness and Pagan manners, and became so-
ciable, orderly, and humane in their carriage. When they first
came, I exhorted my religious people to take pains with them
as they had done with other strangers from time to time, to
instruct them in Christianity. But when some of them attempt-
ed something of that nature, the strangers would soon rise up
and walk to other houses in order to avoid the hearing of such
discourses. Whereupon some of the serious persons agreed
to disperse themselves into the several parts of the settlement,
so that wherever the strangers went, they met with some in-
structive discourse and warm addresses respecting their salva-
tion. But now there was no need of using policy in order to
get an opportunity of conversing with some of them about
their spiritual concerns ; for they were so far touched with a
sense of their perishing state, as made them voluntarily yield
to the closest addresses which were made them respecting their
sin and misery, their need of an acquaintance with, and inte-
rest in the great Redeemer.
March 24. " Numbered the Indians to see how many souls
God had gathered together here since my coming into these
parts, and found there were now about an hundred and thirty
persons together, old and young. Sundry of those who are
my stated hearers, perhaps to the number oi ffteen or twenty^
were absent at this season. If all had been together, the num-
ber would now have been \^rj considerable ; especially con-
M£MOIIl8 or BRAINERD. 379
gidering bow few were together at my first coming into this
part of the country, the whole number then not amounting to
ten persons at that time.
" My people were out this day with the design of clearing
8ome of their land, above fifteen miles distant from this settle-
ment, in order to their settling there in a compact form, where
they might be under the advantages of attending the public
worship of God, of having their children taught in a school,
imd at the same time have a conveniency for planting : their
laioA in the place of our present residence being of little or no
value lor that purpose. The design of their settling thus in a
body, and cultivating their lands, of which they have done
very little in their Pagan state, being of such necessity and im-
r>rtance to their religious interest, as well as worldly comfort,
tboii^ht it proper to call them together, and show them the
duty CH labouring with faithfulness and industry, and that they
BHist bot now ^^ be slothful in business,^^ as they had ever been
Id their Pagan state. I endeavoured to press the importance
;c^ their beipg laborious, diligent, and vigorous in the prosecu-
tion of their business ; especially at the present juncture, the
season of planting being now near, in order to their being in
a capacity of living together, and enjoying the means of grace
and instruction. Having given them directions for their work,
which they very much wanted, as well as for their behaviour m
divers respects, I explained, sang, and endeavoured to incul*
caie upon them the c^sxviith JPsalm, common metre. Dr. Watts*
version ; and having recommended them, and the de«i^ of
ibeir going forth, to God, by prayer with them, I dismissed
Ihem to their business.
** After the Indiems were gone to their work, to clear their
lands, I retired by myself, and poured out my soul to God, that
lie would smile on their feeble beginnings, and that he would
settle an Indian town, which might be a mountain of holiness.
I found my soul much refreshed in these petitions, and much
.enlarged for Zion^s interest, and for numbers of dear friends in
particular. My sinking spirits were revived and raised ; and I
felt animated in the service to which God ha;s called me.
" This was the dearest hour I have enjoyed for many days, if
not weeks. I found an encouraging hope that something would
be done for God ; and that God would use and help me in his
work. O how sweet were the thoughts of labouring for God,
when I felt any spirit and courage, and had any hope that I ever
should be succeeded.
** In the evening read and expounded to those of my people
who were yet at home, and to the strangers newly come, the
substance of the third chapter of the Acts. Numbers seemed
to melt under the word ; especially while I was discoursing
upon ver. 19. *^ Repent ye, therefore, and be converted,*' &c.
280 MEMOIRS OF BRAINE&D.
Several of the strangers also were affected. When I zAxA
them afterwards, Whether they did not now feel that tb^
hearts were wicked as I had taught them ; one of them re-
plied, " Yes, she felt it now." Although before she came here,
upon hearing that I taught the Indians that their hearts were
all bad by nature, and needed to be changed and made good
by the power of God ; she had said, " Her heart was not wick-
ed, and she had never done any thing that was bad in her life.*^
This, indeed, seems to be the case with them, I think, univer-
sally, in their Pagan state. They seem to have no conscioiii-
ness of sin and guilt, unless they can charge themselves widi
some gross acts of sin contrary to the conmiands of the seccid
table.''
The next day his schoolmaster Was taken sick with a pleih
risy, and he spent a ffreat part of the remainder of this week in
attending him. In his weak state, this was an almost over-
bearing burden ; he being obliged constantly to wait uponhua
from day to day, and to lie on the floor at night His spiriti
sunk in a considerable degree, with his bodily strength^ under
this burden.
March 27. " Discoursed to a number of my people in one
of their houses in a more private manner. Inquired particu-
larly into their spiritual states, in order to see what impressions
they were under. Laid before them the marks of a regenerate,
as well as of an unregenerate state ; and endeavoured to suit
and direct my discourse to them severally, according as I appre-
hended their states to be. There was a considerable number
gathered together before I finished my discourse, and several
seemed mucn affected while I was urging the necessity and in-
finite importance of getting into a renewed state. I find par-
ticular and close dealing with souls in private, is often very
successful.
March 29. " In the evening, catechised as usual, upon Sa-
turday. Treated upon the benefits which believers receive from
Christ at death. The questions were answered with great rea-
diness and propriety ; and those who I have reason to think,
are the dear people of God, were in general sweetly melted.
There appeared such a liveliness and vigour in their attendance
upon the word of God, and such eagerness to be made parta-
kers of the benefits mentioned, that they seemed not only to be
" looking for," but " hasting to the coming of the day of God."
Divine truths seemed to distil upon the aiKlience with a gentle,
but melting efllicacy, as the refreshing " showers upon the new
mown grass." The assembly, in general, as well as those who
appear truly religious, were affected with some brief accounts
of the blessedness of the godly at death ; and most of them
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. S81
then discovered an affectionate inclination to cry, ^^ Let me
die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his :^^
although many were not duly engaged to obtain the change of
heart that is necessary to that blessed end.
' Lord*8 day^ March 30. " Discoursed from Matt. xxv. 31—40.
There was a very considerable moving, and affectionate melt-
ing in the assembly. 1 hope that there were some real, deep,
and abiding impressions of divine things made upon the minds
{rf* many. There was one aged man, newly come among us,
who i^peared to be considerably awakened, that never was
touched with any concern for his soul before. In the evening,
catechised. There was not that tenderness and melting en-
Egement among God^s people, which appeared the evening
tore, and many other times. They answered the <}uestions
distinctly, and well, and were devout and attentive m divine
service.
March 31. ^^ Called my people together as 1 had done the
Monday evening before, and discoursed to them again on the
necessity and importance of labouring industrious^ in order
to their living together, and enjoying the means of grace, &c.
Having engaged in a solemn prayer to God amons them for
a blessmg upon their attempts, I dismissed them to meir work.
Numbers of them both men and women, seemed to offer them-
selves willingly to this service ; and some appeared affection-
ately concerned that God might go with them, and begin their
little town for them ; that by his blessing it might be a place
comfortable for them and theirs, with regard both to procuring
the necessaries of life, and to attending on the worship of
God.
" Towards night, 1 enjoyed some sweet meditations on these
words : * It is good for me to draw near to God.' My soul, I
think, had some sweet sense of what is intended in those
words."
The next day he was extremely busy in taking care of the
school-master, and in some other necessary affairs, which great-
ly diverted him from what he looked upon as his proper busi-
ness ; but yet he speaks of comfort and refreshment at some
time of the day.
April 2. " I was somewhat exercised with a spiritual frame
of mind ; but was a little relieved and refreshed in the even-
ing with meditation alone in the woods. But alas ! my days
pass away as the chaff ; it is but little I do, or can do, that
turns to any account ; and it is my constant misery and bur-
den, that 1 am so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. Oh
that I were ^pure spirit ; that I might be active for God ! This,
I think more than any thing else, makes me long that this cor-
VoL. X. 36
282 M£MOIKS OF BRAIN£RD.
ruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal put on im-
mortality. God deliver me from clogs, fetters, and a body of
deaths which impede my service from him."
The next day he complains bitterly of some exercises by cor-
ruption, which he found in his own heart.
April 4. ^' Spent the most of the day in writing on Revelation
xxiL 17. — *• And whosoever will,^ &c. Enjoyed some freedom
and encouragement in my work ; and founa some comfort ia
prayer.
. April 5. ^^ Catechised in the evening. There appeared to be
some affection and fervent engagement in divine service throuj^
the assembly in general; especially towards the conclusion of
my discourse. After public worship, a number of those, who
1 nave reason to think, are truly religious, came to my house,
and seemed eager for some furtiier entertainment upon divine
things. While I was conversing with them about their scriptural
exercises ; observing to them, that God^s work in the hearts of
all his children, was for substance the same ; and that their trials
and temptations were also alike ; and showing the obUgations
such were under to love one another in a peculiar manner ; — ^tbey
seemed to be melted into tenderness and affection towards each
other. I thought that that particular token of their being the
disciples of Christ, viz. of their having love one towards another,
bad scarcely ever appeared more evident than at this time.
After public worship, a number of my dear Christian Indians
came to my house ; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul. My
heart was knit to them ; and I cannot say I have felt such a
sweet and fervent love to the brethren, for some time past 1
saw in them appearances of the same love. This gave me
somewhat of a view of the heavenly state ; and particularly
of that part of the happiness of heaven which consists in the
communion of saints ; and this was affecting to me.
Lord^s day^ April 6. "Preached from Matt. vii. 21 — ^23,
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord^ Lordj ^c. There
were considerable effects of the word visible in the audience,
and such as were very desirable ; an earnest attention, a great
solemnity, many tears and heavy sighs, which were modestly
suppressed in a considerable measure, and appeared unaffected
and without any indecent commotion of the passions. Num-
bers of the religious people were put upon serious and close ex-
amination of their spiritual state, by hearing that ' not every
one that saith to Christ Lord, Lord, shall enter into his king-
dom.' Some expressed fears lest they had deceived themselves,
and taken up a false hope, because they found they had done
so little of the will of his Father who is in heaven.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 283
" There was one man brought under very great and pressidg
concern for- his soul ; which appeared more especially after his
retirement from public worship. That, which he says gave him
his great uneasiness, was, not so much any particular sin, bs that
he had never done the will of God at all, but had sinned continu-
ally, and so had no claim to the kingdom of Heaven. In the af-
ternoon, I opened to them the discipline of Christ in his Church,
and the method in which offenders are to be dealt with. At
which time the religious people were much affected ; especi-
ally when they heard that the offender continuing obstinate,
must finally be esteemed and treated ' as an Heathen man,^
and Pagan, who has no part nor lot among God^s visible people.
Of this thc^ seemed to have the most awful apprehensions ;
a state of Heathenism, out of which they were so lately brought,
appearing very dreadful to them.
"After public worship, I visited several houses, to see how
they spent the remainder of the sabbath, and to treat with them
solemnly on the great concerns of their souls. The Lord seem-
ed to smile upon my private endeavours, and to make these
particular and personal addresses more effectual upon some,
than my public discourses.
April 7. " Discoursed to my people in the evening, fi-om
1 Cor. xi. 23 — ^26. ' For 1 have received of the Lord^ &c. En-
deavoured to open to them the institution, nature and ends of
the Lord^s Supper, as well as of the qualifications and pre-
parations necessary to the right participationof that ordinance.
Numbers appeared much affected with the love of Christ,
manifested in his making this provision for the comfort of his
people, at a season when himself was just entering upon his
sharpest sufferings."
On Tuesday he went to the meeting of the Presbytery ap-
pointed at Elizabethtown. In his way thither he enjoyed some
sweet meditations : but after he came there, he was as he ex-
presses it, 'very vapoury and melancholy, and under an awfiil
gloom which oppressed his mind.^ This continued until Satur-
acttf evening ; when he began to have some relief and encou-
ragement. He spent the Sabbath at Staten Island ; where he
preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed
considerable refreshment and comfort, both in public and pri-
vate. In the evening, he returned to Elizabethtown.
April 14. '' My spirits this day were raised and refi^shed,
and my mind composed ; so that I was in a comfortable fraihe
of so^l most of the day. In the evening, my head was c!e*r,
my mind serene; I enjoyed sweetness in secret prayer and
meditation on Psalm Ixxiii. 28. 'But it is good for me to
draw near to God ;' &c. O how free, how comfortable, cheer-
984 M sMOiaa or BaAivutD.
fill, and. yet golenui, do I feel when I am ia a good ukeium
freed from those damps and melancholy glooois under vriiichl
(rflen labour* Blessed be the Lord I find myself leliefed ia
this, respect
AmitlS. ^^My soul lonffed for more q>irituality ; and H wn
myburden that I could do no more for God. O, my baim-
ness in my daily affliction and heavy load I O how precioa
is time, and how it pains me to see it slide away, while 1 dais
little to any good purpose. O that God would make me nhm
fruitfiil ana splritiud.^*
The next daj he speaks of his being almost overwhcfaial
with ywpaary disorders ; but yet not so as wholly todestngr the
composure of his mind.
'v
April 17. ^ Enioyed some comfort in prayer, some fireedoll
in meditation, and composure in my studies. Spent some ^M
in writing in the forenoon. In the afternoon spent some titai
in-conversation with several dear ministers. In the eveiAi|
preached from Psahn IxxuL 28. * But it is ffood for me to dn0
near to God.' (rod helped me to feel the' truths of n^ ifftii
both in the first prayer and in the sermon. I was enabled Is
pour out my soul to God with great freedom, fenrenct and a^
lection ; and, blessed be the Lord, it was a comfcnrtable noay "
to me. I was enabled to speak with tenderness, and yet widi
faithfulness : and divine truths seemed to fall wiU^ we^j^ anl
influence upon the hearers. My heart was melted for Ihe
dear assembly ; and I loved every body in it ; and scarcely ever
felt more love to immortal souls m my life. My soul criedf, ^Oh
that the dear creatures might be saved ! Oh that God would
have mercy upon them !' "
He seems to have been in a very comfortable frame of mind
the two next days.
Lord*s daifi April 20.* ^^ Discoursed, both forenoon and af^
ternoon firom Luke xxiv. explaining most of the chapter, aod
makinff remarks upon it. There was a desirable attention in
the audience ; though there was not so much appearance of 8&
fection and tenderness among them as had been usual. Oar
meeting was very fiill ; there being sundry strangers present
who had never been with us before. Enjoyed some fireedom,
and, I hope, exercise of faith, in prayer in the morning, e^e-
cially when I came to jpra^ for Zion. I was free from mal
gloomy discoura^ment which so often oppresses my mind;
and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion^s prosperity, and the
* This day he entered Uie^29Ui year of his age.
MEMOIRS or BRAINERD. 285
enlargement of the dear kingdom of the great Redeemer. O
that his kingdom might come !
" In the evening catechised. My people answered the
questions proposed to them readily and distinctly ; and I could
perceive that they advanced in their knowledge of the principles
of Christianity. There appeared an affectionate melting in
the assembly at this time. Several, who I trust are trdy re-
ligious, were refreshed and quickened, and seemed by their
discourse and behaviour after public worship to have their
" hearts knit together in love." This was a sweet and blessed
season, like many others with which my poor people have been
favoured in months past. God has caused this little fleece to
be repeatedly wet with the blessed dew of his divine grace,
while all the earth around has been comparatively dry.
April 21. " Was composed and comfortable in mind most of
the day ; and was mercifully freed from those bloomy damps
with which I am frequently exercised. Had freedom and com-
fort in prayer several times ; and especially had some rising
hopes of Zion^s enlargement and prosperity. Oh how refresh-
ing were those hopes to my soul ! Oh that the kingdom of the
dear Lord might come. Oh that the poor Indians might
quickly be gathered in great numbers !
April 23. " My mind was remarkably free this day from me-
lancnoly damps and glooms, and animated in my work. I found
such fresh vigour and resolution in the service of God, that the
mountains seemed to become a plain before me. O blessed be
God for an interval of refreshment and fervent resolution in my
Lord^s work ! In the evening, my soul was refreshed in secret
prayer, and my heart drawn out tor divine blessings ; especially
for the church of God, and his interest among my own people,
and for dear friends in remote places. Oh that Zion might
prosper, and precious souls be brought home to God !"
In this comfortable fervent frame of mind he remained the
two next days.
April 25. " Of late I apprehended that a number of persons
in my congregation were proper subjects of the ordinance of
the Lord^s supper, and that it might be seasonable speedily to
administer it to them ; and having taken advice of some of the
this day, as preparatory thereto, was set apart for solenm fasting
and prayer.
** The design of this preparatory solemnity was to implore
the blessing of God upon our renewing covenant with him, and
with one another, to walk together in the fear of God, in love
!J86 MEMOiaS OF brainerd.
and Christian fellowship, and to entreat that his presence might
be with us in our designed approach to his table ; as well as to
humble ourselves before God on account of the apparent witK-
drawment, at least in a measure, of that blessed influence which
has been so prevalent upon persons of all ages among us ; as
also on account of the lising appearance of carelessness, and
vanity, and vice among some, who some time since appeared to
be touched and afi'ected with divine truths, and brought to wm
sensibility of their miserable and perishing state by nature. It
was also designed that we might importunately pray for the
peaceable settlement of the Indians together in a body ; that
they might be a commodious congregation for the worship of
God ; and that God would blast and defeat all the attempts that
were, or might be, made against that pious design.*
^' The solemnity was observed ana seriously attended, not
only by those who proposed at the Lord^s table, but l^ the
whole congregation universally. In the former part of the dy,
I endeavoured to open to my people the nature and design of a
fast, as I had attempted more briefly to do before, and to in-
struct them in the duties of such a solenmity. In the aftemooD
I insisted upon the special reasons there were for otir engaging
it these solemn exercises at this time ; both in regard of the
need we stood in of divine assistance, in order to a due prepa-
ration for that sacred ordinance upon which some of us were
proposing, with leave of divine providence speedily to attend ;
and also in respect of the manifest decline of God's work here,
as to the eflectual conviction and conversion of sinners ; there
having been few of late deeply awakened out of a state of securi-
ty. The worship of God was attended with great solemnity and
reverence, with much tenderness and many tears, by those who
appeared to be truly religious ; and there was some appearance
of divine power upon those who had been awakened some time
before, and who were still under concern.
" After repeated prayer, and attendance upon the word of
God, I proposed to the religious people, with as much brevity and
plainness as I could, the substance of the doctrine of the Chris-
tian faith, as I had formerly done previous to their baptism;
and had their renewed cheerful assent to it. I then led them
to a solemn renewal of their baptismal covenant ; wherein they
had explicitly and publicly given up themselves to God the Fa-
ther, Son and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God ; and
* There was at this time a terrible clamour raised ag^ainst the Indians in ra-
rious places in the country, and insinuations as though I was training them up to
cut people's throats. Numbers wished to have them banished from these parts,
and some gave out great words in order to fright and deter them from settling
upon the best and most convenient tract of their own lands ; threatening to trou-
ble them in the law ; pretending a claim to these lands themselves, although
never purchased of the Indians.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 287
at the same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, their
idolatrous and superstitious practices ; solemnly engaging to
take the Word of God, so far as it was or might be made known
to them, for the rule of their lives ; promising to walk together
in love, to watch over themselves and one another, to lead lives
of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge the relative duties
incumbent on them respectively, &c. This solemn transaction
was attended with much gravity and seriousness ; and at the
same time with the utmost readiness, freedom and cheerfulness ;
and a religious union and harmony of soul seemed to crown the
whole solemnity. I could not but think in the evening, that
there had been manifest tokens of the divine presence with us
in all the several services of the day ; though it was also manifest
that there was not that concern among Christless souls which
has often appeared there.
April 26. " Toward noon prayed with a dying child, and
S.ve a word of exhortation to the bystanders to prepare for
ath ; which seemed to take effect upon some. In the after-
noon discoursed to my people from Matthew xxvi. 26—^, of
the author, the nature, and designs of the Lord^s supper ; and
endeavoured to point out the worthy receivers of that ordi-
nance.
" The religious people were affected, and even melted, with
divine truths, — with a view of the dying love of Christ Several
otheis, who had been for some months under convictions of
their perishing state, appeared now to be much moved with
concern, and afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in
Christ ; although I cannot say that the word of God appeared
so quick and powerful, so sharp and piercing to the assembly
as it had sometimes formerly done. Baptized two adult per-
sons ; both serious and exemplary in their lives, and I hope
truly religious. One of them was the man particularly men-
tioned in my journal of the 6th instant ; who, although he was
S'eatly distressed, because ^' he had never done the will of
od,'' has since, it is hoped, obtained spiritual comfort upon
good grounds.
" In the evening I catechised othose, who were designed to
partake of the Lord^s supper the next day, upon the institution,
nature and end of that ordinance ; and had abundant satisfac-
tion respecting their doctrinal knowledge and fitness in that
respect for an attendance upon it. They likewise appeared in
general to have an affecting sense of the solemnity of this sa-
cred ordinance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own
unworthiness to approach to God in it ; and to be earnestly
concerned that they might be duly prepared for an attendance
upon it. — Their hearts were full of love one toward another,
and that was the frame of mind which they seemed concerned
to maintain and bring to the Lord's table with them. In the
!288 MEMOIRS OF BRAINSaD.
singing and prayer after catechising, there appeared an agree-
able tenderness and melting among them ; and such tokens d'
brotherly love and aiOTection, as would even constrain onetosav
«^ Lord, it is ^ood to be here ;'*'* it is good to dwell where such
an heavenly mfluence distils.
Lord's day, April 27. " Preached from Tit ii. 14, » Who
gave himself for us/ &c. The word of God at this time, wu
attended with some appearance of divine power upon the as-
sembly ; so that the attention and gravity of the audience weie
remarkable ; and especially towards the conclusion of the exer-
cise, divers persons were much affected. Administered the sa-
crament of the Lord's supper to twenty three persons of the In-
dians, tlie number of the men and women being nearly equal ;
several others, to the number of five or six, being now absent
at the Forks of Delaware, who would otherwise have com-
muned with us. The ordinance *was attended with great so-
lemnity, and with a most desirable tenderness and affection.
It was remarkable that in the season of the performance of the
sacramental actions, especially in the distribution of the bread,
they seemed to be affected in a most lively manner, as if Christ
had been really crucified before them. The words of the insti-
tution, when repeated and enlarged upon in the season of the
administration, seemed to meet with the same reception, to be
entertained with the same free and fiili belief and affectionate
engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus Christ himself had
been present, and had personally spoken to them. The affec-
tions of the communicants, although considerably raised, were,
notwithstanding, agreeably regulated and kept within proper
bounds. So that there was a sweet, gentle, and affectionate
melting without any indecent or boisterous commotion of the
passions.
" Having rested sometime after the administration of the sa-
crament, being extremely tired with the necessary prolixity of
the work, 1 walked from house to house, and conversed particu-
larly with most of the communicants, and found they had been
almost universally refreshed at the Lord's table, ' as with new
wine.' Never did I see such an appearance of Christian love
amon^ any people in all my life. It was so remarkable, that
one might well have cried with an agreeable surprise, * Behold
how they love one another.' I think there could be no greater
tokens of mutual affection among the people of God, in the
early days of Christianity, than what now appeared here. The
sight was so desirable, and so well becoming the gospel, that
nothing less could be said of it than that it was ^ the doing of
the Lord,' the genuine operation of Him, ' who is Love.'
" Toward nisht discoursed again on the forementioned text,
Tit. ii. 14 ; and insisted on the immediate end and design of
Christ's death : viz. That he might redeem his people from all
MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 'JSS V
iniquity, &c. This appeared to be a season of divine power
among us. The religious people were much refreshed, and
seemed remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy,
and peace, and desirous of being completely ^ redeemed from
all iniquity;^ so that some of them afterwards told me that
'they had never felt the like before/ Convictions also ap-
peared to be revived in many instances ; and several persons
were awakened, whom I had never observed under any reli-
gious impressions before.
^*' Such was the influence which attended our assembly, and
so unspeakably desirable the frame of mind which many enjoy-
ed in divine service, that it seemed almost grievous to conclude
the public worship. The congregation, when dismissed, al-
though it was then almost dark, appeared loth to leave the
place and employments which had been rendered so dear to
them by the benefits enjoyed, while a blessed quickening influ-
ence distilled upon them. Upon the whole, I miist say, I had
great satisfaction relative to the administration of tnis ordi-
nance in various respects. I have abundant reason to think,
that those who came to the Lord^s table had a j^ood degree of
doctrinal knowledge of the nature and design of the ordinance,
and that they acted with understanding in what they did.
^ In the preparatory services, I found, I may justly say, un-
common freedom in opening to their understandings and capa-
cities the covenant of grace, and in showing them the ncUure
of this ordinance as a seal of that covenant ; although many of
them knew of no such thing as a secd^ before my coming among
them, or at least, of the use and design of it in the common
affairs of life. They were likewise thoroughly sensible, that it
was no more than a seal^ or sign^ and not the recH body and
blood of Christ ; that it was designed for the refreshment and
edification of the soul^ and not for the feasting of the body.
They were also acquainted with the end of the ordinance, that
they were therein called to commemorate the dying love of
Christ.
"This competency of doctrinal knowledge, together with
their grave and decent attendance upon the ordinance, their
affectionate melting under it, and the sweet and Christian frame
of mind which they discovered after it, gave me great satisfac-
tion respecting my administration of it to them. O, what a
sweet and blessed season was this ! God himself, I am per-
suaded, was in the midst of his people, attending on his own
ordinance. I doubt not but many, in the conclusion of the
day, could say with their whole hearts, * Verily, a day thus
spent in God's house, is better than a thousand elsewhere.*
There seemed to be but one heart amon^ the pious people.
The sweet union, harmony and endearing love and tenderness
Vol. X. 37
^290 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
subsisting among them was, I thought, the most lively emblem
of the heavenly world, which I had ever seen.
April 28. ^^ Concluded the sacramental solemnity with a dis-
course upon John xiv. 15. * If ye love me, keep my command-
ments.^ At this time there appeared a very agreeable tender-
ness in the audience in general, but especially in the communi-
cants. O, how free, how engaged and affectionate did these
appear in the service of God ! they seemed willing to have their
ears bored to the door posts of God^s house, and to be bis ser-
vants forever.
^^ Observing numbers in this excellent frame, and the assem-
bly in general affected, and that by a divine iniiuence, I thought
it proper to improve this advantageous season as Hezekiah did
the desirable season of his great passover, 2 Chron. xxxi. in order
to promote the blessed rerormation begun among them ; and to
engage those that appeared serious and religious to persevere
therein. Accordingly I proposed to them, that they should re-
newedly enter into covenant before God, that they would watch
over themselves and one another, test they should dishonour
the name of Christ, by falling into sinful and unbecoming prac-
tices ; and especially that they would watch against the sin of
drunkenness, ^ the sin that most easily besets them,' and the
temptations leading thereto, as well as the appearance of evil
in that respect. They cheerfully complied with the proposal,
and explicitly joined in that covenant ; whereupon I proceeded
in the most solemn manner of which I was capable, to call
God to witness respecting their sacred engagements, and re-
minded them of the greatness of the guilt they would contract
to themselves in the violation of it ; as well as observed to them
that God would be a terrible witness against those who should
presume to do so in the great and notable day of the Lord. It
was a season of amazing solemnity ; and a divine awe appeared
upon the face of the whole assembly in this transaction. Affec-
tionate sobs, sighs and tears were now frequent in the audience ;
and I doubt not but that many silent cries were then sent up to
the Fountain of grace for supplies of grace sufficient for the
fulfilment of these solemn engagements. Baptized six children
this day."
On Tuesday, April 29, he went to Elizabetli Town to attend
the meeting of the Presbytery ; and seemed to spend the time
while absent from his people on this occasion, in a free and
comfortable state of mind.
" Cranberry, N. J. May, 1746.
May 3. " Rode from Elizabeth Town home to my people at
or near Cranberry ; whither they are now removed, and where I
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. '291
hope God will settle them as a Christian congregation. Was
refreshed in lifting up my heart to God, while riding, and en-
jo^^ a thankful frame of spirit for divine favours received the
week past.
" Was somewhat uneasy and dejected in the evening ; having
no house of my own to go to in this place ; but God was my
support.
Lord^s day^ May 4. " My people being now removed to their
lands, mentioned in my diary of March 24, where they were
then and have since been making provision for a compact set-
tlement, in order to their more convenient enjoyment of the
S gospel and other means of instruction, as well as of the com-
brts of life ; I this day visited them ; being now obliged to
board with an English family at some distance from them ;
and preached to them in the forenoon from Mark iv. 5. ' And
some fell upon stony ground,' &c. Endeavoured to show
them the reason there was to fear, lest many promising ap-
pjearances and hopeful beginnings in religion, might prove abor-
tive, like the seed dropped upon stony places.
" In the afternoon discoursed upon Rom. viii. 9. ' Now, if
any man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of his.' I
have reason to think this discourse was peculiarly seasonable,
and that it had a good effect upon some of the hearers.
Spent some hours afterwards in private conference with my
people, and laboured to regulate some things which I appre-
hended amiss among some of them.
May 5. " Visited my people again, and took care of their
worldly concerns ; giving them directions relating to their busi-
ness. I daily discover more and more of what importance it
is likely to be to their religious interests, that they become
laborious and industrious, acquainted with the affairs of hus-
bandry, and able in a good measure to raise the necessaries
and comforts of life within themselves ; for their present method
of living greatly exposes them to temptations of various kinds.
May 6. " Enjoyed some spirit and courage in my work ;
was in a good measure free from melancholy ; blessed be God
for freedom from this death.
May 7. " Spent most of the day in writing as usual. En-
joyed some freedom in my work. Was favoured with some
comfortable meditations this day. In the evening was in a
sweet composed frame of mind : was pleased and delighted to
leave all with God respecting myself for time and eternity, and
respecting the people of my charge, and dear friends. Had no
doubt but that God would take care of me and of his own in-
terest among my people ; and was enabled to use freedom in
prayer as a child with a tender father. O how sweet is such a frame !
May 8. " In the evening, was somewhat refreshed with di-
vine things, and enjoyed a tender melting frame in secret
292 MEMOIRS or BRAINERII.
prayer ; wherein my soul was drawn out for the interests of
Zion, and comforted with the lively hope of the appearinff of
the great Redeemer. These were sweet moments ; I felral*
most loth to go to bed, and grieved that sleep was necessary.
However I lay down with a tender reverential fear of God,
sensible that his favour is life, and his smiles better than all
that earth can boast of, infinitely better than life itseIC
May 9. " Preached from John v. 40. ^ And ye will not
come to me,^ &c. in the open wilderness ; the Indians having
as yet no house for public worship in this place, nor scarceb
any shelters for themselves. Divine truths made considerable
impressions upon the audience, and it was a season of great
solemnity, tenderness and affection.
*^ Baptized one man this day, the conjurer, murderer, Ac
mentioned in my diary of Aug. 8, 1745, and Feb. 1, 1746, who
appears to be such a remarkable instance of divine grace, that
I cannot omit to give some brief account of him nere. He
lived near, and sometimes attended my meeting, at the Forb
of Delaware, for more than a year together ; but was, like
many others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, and
seemed to be in no degree reformed by the means which I
used with them for their instruction and conversion. At this
time he likewise murdered a likely young Indian, which threw
him into some kind of horror and desperation, so that he kept
at a distance from me, and refused to hear me preach for
several months together, until I had an opportunity of con-
versing freely with him, and giving him encouragement, that
his sin might be forgiven, for Christ's sake. Afler this he
again attended my meeting sometimes.
»* But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his
conjuration. He was one of those who are sometimes called
powaws, among the Indians ; and, notwithstanding his fre-
quent attendance upon my preaching, he still followed his old
charms and juggling tricks, ' giving out that himself was some
great one, and to him they ^ave heed,' supposing him to be
possessed of great power. When I have instructed them re-
specting the miracle wrought by Christ in healing the sick,
and mentioned them as evidence of his divine mission, and
the truths of his doctrine ; they have quickly observed the won-
ders of that kind, which this man had performed by his magic
charms. Hence they had a high opinion of him and his super-
stitious notions ; which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to
some of them in regard to their receiving the Gospel. 1 have
often thought that it would be a great favour to the design of
evangelizing these Indians, if God would take that wretch out
of the world ; for I had scarcely any hope of his ever becoming
good. But God, whose thoughts are not as man's thoughts,
has been pleased to take a much more desirable method with
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 293
him ; a method agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I
trust advantageous to his own interests among the Indians, as
well as effectual to the salvation of his poor soul. To God be
the glory of it. The first genuine concern for his soul, that
ever appeared in him, was excited by seeing my Interpreter
and his wife baptized at the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745.
Which so prevailed upon him, that with the invitation of an
Indian who was a friend to Christianity, he followed me down
to Crossweeksung, in the beginning of August following in
order to hear me preach ; and there continued for several
weeks in the season of the most remarkable and powerful
awakening among the Indians; at which time he was more effec-
tually awakened, and brought under great concern for his soul.
And then he says, upon his ^ feeling the word of God in his
heart,' as he expresses it, his spirit of conjuration left him en*
tirely, so that he has had no more power of that nature since,
than any other man living. He also declares, that he does
notnow so much as know, how he used to charm and conjure, and
that he could not now do any thing of that nature if he were
ever so desirous of it.
^^ He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing
state, and a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the
fall and former part of the winter past ; but was not so deeply
exercised until some time in January. Then the word of God
took such hold upon him, that he was brought into deep dis-
tress, and knew not what to do, nor where to turn himself.
He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach from
time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his
heart, and made him very uneasy^ but did not bring him to
so great distress, because he still hoped he could do something for
his own relief ; but now he said, I drove him up in such a
sharp corner, that he had no way to turn, and could not avoid
being in distress. He continued constantly under the heavy
burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, until at length he
was brought into the acute anguish and utmost agony of soul,
mentioned in my Journal of Feb. 1st. which continued that
night and part of the next day. After this he was brought
to the utmost calmness and composure of mind; his trem-
bling and heavy burden was removed and he appeared per-
fectly sedate, although he had to his apprehensions scarcely any
hope of salvation.
** I observed him to appear remarkably composed ; and there-
upon asked him how he did ? He replied, ' It is done, it is
done, it is all done now.' I asked him what he meant ? He
answered, ^ I can never do any more to save myself; it is all
done for ever. I can do no more.' I queried with him,
whether he could not do a little more, rather than go to hell ?
He replied ' my heart is dead. I can never help myself.' J
;294 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
asked him what he thought would become of him then 1 He
answered ^ 1 must go to hell/ I asked him if he thought it was
right, that God should send him to hell ? He replied ^ Oh it is
right. The devil has been in me ever since I was born.' 1
asked him if he felt this when he was in such great distress the
evening before ? He answered, * No ; 1 did not then think it
was right. 1 thought God would send me to hell, and that I
was then dropping into it ; but my heart quarrelled with God
and would not say it was ri^ht he should send me there ; but
now I know it is right, for I have always served the devil; and
my heart has no goodness in it now ; but it is as bad as ever it
was,' &c. I thought I had scarcely ever seen any person dk^
effectually brought off from a dependence upon his own contri-
vances and endeavours for salvation, or more apparently to
lie at the foot of sovereign mercy, than this man did, under
these views of things.
^' In this frame of mind he continued for several days, pass-
ing sentence of condemnation upon himself, and constantly
owning that it would be right he should be damned, and that
he expected this would be his portion for the greatness of his
sins. Yet it was plain that he had a secret nope of mercy,
though imperceptible to himself, which kept him not only bum
despair, but from any pressing distress : so that, instead ot being
sad and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant and
agreeable.
" While he was in this frame, he several times asked me,
' When I would preach again V and seemed desirous to hear
the word of God every day. I asked, ' Why he wanted to
hear me preach, seeing his heart was dead, and all was done ;
that he could never help himself, and expected that he must
go to hell V He replied, ' I love to hear you speak about
Christ for all.' I added ' But what good will that do you,
if you must go to hell at last ? — using now his own language
with him, having before from time to time laboured in the4)est
manner I could to represent to him the excellency of Christ,
his all-sufficiency and willingness to save lost sinners, and per-
sons just in his case ; although to no purpose, as to yielding
him any special comfort. He answered, ' 1 would have others
come to Christ, if I must go to hell myself.' It was remark-
able, that he seemed to have a great love for the people of God ;
and nothing affected him so much as being separated from
them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part of the hell to
which he saw himself doomed. It was likewise remarkable,
that in this season he was most diligent in the use of all the
means for the soul's salvation ; although he had the clearest
view of the insufficiency of means to afford him help. He
would frequently say. That all he did signified nothing at all ;
and yet was never more constant in doing ; attending secret
and family prayer daily ; and surprisingly diligent and atten-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 295
tive in hearing the word of God ; so that he neither despaired
of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his own doings, but
used means because appointed of God in order to salvation ;
and because he would wait upon God in his own way.
After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a
week, while I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a
lively soul-refreshing view of the excellency of Christ and the
way of salvation by him ; which melted him into tears, and
filled him with admiration, comfort, satisfaction, and praise to
God. Since then, he has appeared to be a humble, devout,
and affectionate Christian ; serious and exemplary in his con-
versation and behaviour, frequently complaining of his barren-
ness, his want of spiritual warmth, life, and activity, and yet
frequently favoured with quickening and refreshing influences.
In all respects, so far as 1 am capable of judging, he bears
the marks of one ^created anew in Christ Jesus to good
works.'
" His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to me, when he
was with me at the Forks of Delaware m February last. There
beinff an old Indian at the place where I preached, who threat-
ened to bewitch me, and my religious people who accompanied
me there, this man presently challenged him to do his worst ;
telling him that himself had been as great a conjurer as he ;
and that notwithstanding, as soon as he felt that word to his
heart which these people loved, meaning the word of God, his
power of conjuring immediately left him. * And so it would
you,' said he, ' if you did but once feel it in your heart ; and you
have no power to hurt them, nor so much as to touch one of
them,' &c. So that I may conclude my account of him, by
observing, in allusion to what was said of St. Paul, that he
now zealously 'defends and practically preaches the faith
which he once destroyed,' or at least was instrumental of ob-
structing. May God have the glory of the amazing change
which he has wrought in him !
May 10. " Rode to Allen's-town to assist in the administra-
tion of the Lord's supper. In the afternoon, preached from
Titus ii. 14. Who gave himself for us^ &c. God was pleased
to carry me through, and to grant me some freedom ; and yet
to deny me that enlargement and power for which I longed*
In the evening my soul mourned, and could not but mourn,
that I had treated so excellent a subject in so defective a man-
ner ; that I had borne so broken a testimony for so worthy and
glorious a Redeemer. If my discourse had met with the
utmost applause from all the world, it would not have given
me any satisfaction. Oh it grieved me to think, that I had no
more holy warmth and fervency, that I had been no more melt-
ed in discoursing of Christ's death and the end and design of
it ! Afterwards enjoyed some freedom and fervency in family
296 MEMOIRS OF BRAINER0.
and secret prayer, and longed much for the presence of God
to attend his word and ordinances the next day.
Lard'' 8 day^ May 11. ^^ Assisted in the administration of the
Lord^s supper ; but enjoyed but little enlargement : was erieved
and sunk with some things, which I thought undesirable, dx.
In the afternoon went to the house of God, weak and sick in
soul, as well as feeble in body, and longed that the people might
be entertained and edified with divine truths, and that an honest
fervent testimony might be borne for God ; but knew not how
it was possible for me to do any thing of that kind to any good
purpose. Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give
me assistance both in prayer and preaching. God helpeclme
to wrestle for his presence in prayer, and to tell him that he
had promised, ^ Where two or three are met together in his
name, there he would be in the midst of them ;' and that we
were, at least some of us, so met ; and pleaded that for his
truth's sake he would be with us. Blessed be God, it was sweet
to my soul, thus to plead and rely on God's promises. Dis-
coursed upon Luke ix. 30, 31. And behold there talked uM
him two men^ which were Moses and EliaSj who appeared in
glory, and spake of his decease, which he shotdd accomplish ai
Jerusalem. Enjoyed special freedom from the beginning to
the end of my discourse without interruption. Things perti-
nent to the subject were abundantly presented to my view, and
such a fulness of matter, that I scarce knew how to dismiss the
various heads and particulars I had occasion to touch upon.
Blessed be the Lord, I was favoured with some fervency and
power, as well as freedom ; so that the word of God seemed
to awaken the attention of a stupid audience to a considerable
degree, I was inwardly refreshed with the consolations of
God, and could with my whole heart say, ' Though there be
no fruit in the vine, &c, yet will 1 rejoice in the Lord.' After
public service, was refreshed with the sweet conversation of
some Christian friends."
The four next days seem to have been mostly spent with spi-
ritual comfort and profit.
May 16. " Near night enjoyed some agreeable and sweet
conversation with a dear minister ; which was, 1 trust, blessed
to my soul. My heart was warmed, and my soul engaged to
live to God ; so that I longed to exert myself with more vigour
than ever I had done in his cause; and those words were
quickening to me, ' Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring
forth much fruit.' Oh, my soul longed, and wished, and prayed
to be enabled to live to God with the utmost constancy and
ardour ! In the evening God was pleased to shine upon me in
secret prayer, and draw out my soul after himself; and I had
I
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 297
freedom in supplication for myself, but much more in interces-
sion for others : so that I was sweetly constrained to say, ^ Lord,
use me as thou wilt ; do as thou wilt with me : but O, promote
thine own cause ! Zion is thine ; Oh, visit thine heritage ! Let
thy kingdom come ! Oh let thy blessed interest be advanced in
the wond/ When I attempted to look to God respecting my
worldly circumstances, and his providential dealings with me
relative to niy settling down in my congregation ; which seems
to be necessary, and yet very difficult, and contrary to my fixed
intentions for years past, as well as to my disposition, which
has been and still is, at times especially, to go forth, and spend
my life in preaching the gospel fi-om place to place, and gather-
ing souls afar off to Jesus the great Redeemer ; I could only
«ay, " The will of the Lord be done ; it is no matter for me."
The same fi'ame of mind I felt with regard to another import-
ant afiair, of which I have lately had some serious thoughts.
I could say, with the utmost calmness and composure, ^^ Lord,
if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in it ; but, if thou
seest it will in any wise hinder my usefulness in thy cause, Oh
prevent me from proceeding ; for all I want respecting this
world IS such circumstances as may best capacitate me to do
service for God in the world." But, blessed be God ! I enjoyed
liberty in prayer for my dear flock, and was enabled to pour out
my soul into the bosom of a tender Father. My heart within
me was melted, when 1 came to plead for my dear people, and
for the kingdom of Christ in general. Oh, how sweet was this
evening to my soul ! I knew not how to go to bed ; and when
I got to bed, longed for some way to improve time for God to
some excellent purpose. Bless the Lord, O my soul I
May 17. ^' Walked out in the morning, and felt much of the
same frame which I enjoyed the evening before ; had my heart
enlarged in praying for the advancement of the kingdom of
Christ, and found the utmost freedom in leaving all my con-
cerns with God.
" I find discouragement to be an exceeding hindrance to my
. spiritual fervency and affection ; but, when God enables me
sensibly to find that I have done something for him, this refreshes
and animates me, so that I could break through all hardships,
and undergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either
to do or to suffer. But oh, what a death it is to sirwe and
strive ; to be always in a hurry, and yet do nothing, or at least|
nothing/or God I Alas, alas, that time flies away, and I do so
little for God !
Lord*8 day. May 18th. " I felt my own utter insufficiency for
my work : God made me to see that I was a child ; yea, that 1
was 9, fool. I discoursed both parts of the day from Rev. iii«
90, ^^ Behold, I stand at the door and knock." God gave me
freedom and power in the latter part of my forenoon^s dis-
Vol. X. 38
2S)8 MEMOIRS or BRAIXERD.
rourse : although, in the former part of it, I felt peevish and
provoked with the unmannerly behaviour of the white people,
who crowded in between my people and me; which proved .a
great temptation to me. But, blessed be God ! I got these
shackles off before the middle of my discourse, and was favoured
with a sweet frame of spirit in the latter part of the exercise;
was full of love, warmth, and tenderness in addressing my dear
people. There appears some affectionate melting towards the
conclusion of the forenoon exercise, and one or two instances
of fresh awakening. In the intermission of public worship 1
took occasion to discourse to numbers, in a more private way,
on the kindness and patience of the blessed Redeemer in stand-
ing and knocking, in continuing his gracious calls to sinners,
who had long neglected and abused his grace ; which seemed
to take some effect upon several.
" In the afternoon divine truths were attended with solemnity
and with some tears ; although there was not that powerfal
awakening and quickening influence which in times past has
been common in our assemblies. The appearance of the
audience under divine truths was comparatively discouraging ;
and I was ready to fear that God was about to withdraw the
blessed influence of his Spirit from us.
'' In the evening, 1 was grieved that I had done so little for
God. Oh that I could be ^^ a flame offire^^ in the service of
my God !
May 19. " Visited and preached to my people from Acts xx.
18, 19, " And when they were come to him^ he said unto them^
Ye know from the first day^"" ^r. and endeavoured to rectify
their notions about religious affections ; showing them on the
one hand the desirableness of religious affection, tenderness,
and fervent engagement in the worship and service of God,
when such affection flows from a true spiritual discovery of
divine glories from a just sense of the transcendent excellence
and perfections of the blessed God, — and a view of the glory
and loveliness of the great Redeemer ; and that such views of
divine things will naturally excite us to " serve the Lord with*
many tears, with much affection and fervency, and yet with all
humility of mind.'' On the other hand I observed the sinful'
ness of seeking after high affections immediately and /or their
own sakes ; that is, of making them the object which our eye
and heart is first and principally set upon, when the glory of
God ought to be that object. Showed them, that if the heart
be directly and chiefly fixed on God, and the soul engaged to
glorify him, some degree of religious affection will be tne effect
and attendant of it. But to seek after affection directly and
chiefly ; to have the heart principally set upon that ; is to place
it in the room of God and his glory. If it be sought, that
others may take notice of it, and admire us for our spirituality
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2&9
and forwardness in religion, it is then abominable /wide ; if for
the sake of feeling the pleasure of being affected, it is then
idolatry and seif-gratification. Laboured also to expose the
disagreeableness of those affections, which are sometimes
wrought up in persons by the power of fancy, and their own
attempts for that purpose, while I still endeavoured to recom-
mend to them that religious affection, fervency, and devotion
which ou^ht to attend all our religious exercises, and without
which religion will be but an empty name and a lifeless car-
case. This appeared to be a seasonable discourse, and proved
very satisfactory to some of the religious people, who before
were exercised with some difficulties relating to this point.
Afterwards took care of, and gave my people directions about
their worldly affairs."
On Tuesday^ he complains of want of freedom and comfort ;
but had some returns of these on Wednesday.
May 22. " In the evening was in a frame somewhat remark-
able. I had apprehended for some days before, that it was
the design of Providence that I should settle among my people
here, and had in my own mind began to make provision for
it, and to contrive means to hasten it ; and found my heart
somewhat engaged in it ; hoping that I might then enjoy more
agreeable circumstances cf life in several respects ; and yet
was never fully determined, never quite pleased with the
tfioughts of being settled and confined to one place. Never-
theless! seemed to have some freedom in that respect, because
the congregation with which I thought of setthng, was one
which God had enabled me to gather from among Pagans.
For I never, since I began to preach, could feel any freedom
to enter into other men^s labours, and settle down in the mi-
nistry where the gospel was preached before. I never could
make that appear to be my province. When I felt any dis-
position to consult my worldly ease and comfort, God has
never given me any liberty in this respect, either since, or for
some years before, I began to preach. But God having suc-
ceeded my labours, and made me instrumental in gathering a
church for him among these Indians, I was ready to think it
might be his design to give me a quiet settlement, and a
stated home of my own. This, considering the late frequent
sinking and failure of my spirits, and the need I stood in of
some agreeable society, and my great desire of enjoying con-
veniences and opportunities for profitable studies, was not al-
together disagreeable to me. Although I still wanted to go
about far and wide, in order to spread the blessed gospel among
the benighted souls far remote, yet I never had been so willing
to settle in any one place, for more than five years past, as I
900 MEMOIRS OF BBAINERD.
was in the preceding part of this week. But now tliese
thoughts seemed to be wholly dashed to pieces, not by necessity,
but of choice ; for it appeared to me that God^s dealings towarcb
me had fitted me for a life of solitariness and hardship, and
that I had nothing to lose, nothing to do with earth, and con-
sequently nothing to lose by a total renunciation of it. It ap-
peared to me just right that I should be destitute of house and
nome, and many of the comforts of life, which I rejoiced to
see others of God^s people enjoy. At the same time, I saw so
much of the excellency of Christ ^s kingdom and the infinite de>
sirableness of its advancement in the world, that it swallow-
ed up all my other thoughts, and made me willing, yea, even
rejoice, to be made b pilgrim or hermit in the wilderness to
my dying moment ; it I might thereby promote the blessed
interest of the great Redeemer. If ever my soul presented
itself to God for his service, without any reserve of any kind^
it did so now. The language of my thoughts and disposition
now was ^^ Here I am^ Lora, send me ; send me to the ends of
the earth ; send me to the roughs the savage Pagans of the
wilderness ; send me from all that is called comfort in earthy or
earthly comfort ; send me even to death itself if it be but in thy
service^ and to promote thy kingdom.'*^ At the same time, 1
had as quick and lively a sense of the value of worldly com*
forts, as I ever had : but only saw them infinitely overmatched
by the worth of Christ^s kingdom, and the propagation of his
blessed gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of
abode, the tender friendship, which I thought 1 might be likely
to enjoy in consequence of such circumstances, appeared as
valuable to me, considered absolutely and in themselves^ as
ever before ; but considered comparatively^ they appeared no-
thing. Compared with the value and preciousness of an en-
largement of Christ's kingdom, they vanished as stars before
the rising sun. Sure I am, that, although the comfortable ac-
commodations of life appeared valuable and dear to me, yet I
did surrender and resign myself, soul and body, to the service
of God, and to the promotion of Christ's kingdom ; though it
should be in the loss of them all, I could not do any other, be-
cause I could not will or choose any other. 1 was constrained,
and yet chose, to say, " Farewell friends and earthly comforts,
the dearest of them all, the very dearest^ if the Lord calls for it :
adieu, adieu ; I will spend my life, to my latest moments, m
caves and dens of the earthy if the kingdom of Christ may there-
by be advanced. 1 found extraordinary freedom at this time
in pouring out my soul to God for his cause ; and especially
that his kingdom might be extended among the Indians, far re-
mote ; and I had a great and strong hope that God would do
it. I continued wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little
flock here ; and more especially for the Indians elsewhere ; as
H£II01RS or BRAINERD. 301
well as for dear friends in one place and another until it was
bed time, and I feared I should hinder the family, &c. But,
O, with what reluctancy did I feel myself obliged to consume
time in sleep ! I longed to be as a flame of fire^ continually
glowing in the divine service, and building up Christ^s king-
dom, to my latest, my dying moment.
May 23. ** In the morning, was in the same frame of mind
as in the evening before. The glory of Christ^s kingdom so
much outshone the pleasure of earthly accommodations and en-
joyments, that they appeared comparatively nothing, though in
themselves good and desirable. My soul was melted in secret
meditation and prayer ; and I found myself divorced from any
part or portion in this world ; so that in those affairs which
seemed of the greatest importance to me with respect to the
present life, and in those with which the tenderest feelings of the
heart are most sensibly connected ; I could only say, ^^ the will
of the Lord be done." But just the same things, which I felt
the evening before, I felt now, and found the same freedom in
prayer for the people of my charge, for the propagation of the
gospel among the Indians, and for the enlargement and spiritual
wenare of Zion. in general, and my dear mends in particular
now, as I did then ; and longed to burn out in one continued
flame for God. Retained much of the same frame through
the day. In the evening I was visited by my brother John
Brainerd ; the first visit which I have ever received from any
near relative since I have been a missionary. Felt the same
flame of spirit in the evening, as in the morning ; and found
that it was good for me to draw near to God, and leave all my
concerns and burdens with him. Was enlarged and refreshed
in pouring out my soul for the propagation of the gospel of the
Redeemer among the distant tribes of Indians. Blessed be
God. If ever I filled up a day with study and devotion, I was
enabled so to fill up this day.
May 24. ^^ Visited the Indians, and took care of their secular
business ; which they are not able to manage themselves, with-
out the constant care and advice of others. Afterwards dis-
coursed to some of them particularly about their spiritual con-
cerns. — Enjoyed this day somewhat of the same frame of mind
which I felt the day before.
Lord?s day^ May 25. " Discoursed both parts of the day
from John xii. 44 — 48. " Jesus cried and said^ He thai believeth
an me, &c." There was some degree of divine power attend-
ing the word of God. Several wept, and appeared considerably
anected, and one, who had long been under spiritual trouble,
now obtained clearness and comfort, and appeared to rejoice
in God her Saviour. It was a day of grace and divine good-
ness ; a day wherein something I trust was done for the cause
of God among my people ; a season of comfort and sweetness to
302 MEMOIRS or BRAINERD.
numbers of the religious people ; although there was not that
influence upon the congregation which was common some
months ago."
This week^ at least the former part of it, he was in a very
weak state, but yet seems to have been free from melancbirf?,
which often had attended the failing of his bodily strengto.
He from time to time speaks of comfort and inward refreshment
this week.
Lord's day, June 1, 1746. " Preached both forenoon and af-
ternoon from Matt. xi. 27, 28. The presence of God seemed
to be in the assembly ; and numbers were considerably melted
and affected under divine truths. There was a desirable ap*
• pearance in the congregation in general, an earnest attention
and an agreeable tenderness ; and it seemed as if God designed
to visit us with further showers of divine grace. I then bap-
tized ten persons ijlve adults, and^re children ; and was not a
little refreshed with this addition made to the church of such as
1 hope will be saved. I have reason to hope that God has
lately, at and since our celebration of the Lord's stipper, brought
to himself several persons who had long been under spiritual
trouble and concern ; although there have been few instances
of persons lately awakened out of a state of security. Those
comforted of late seem to be brought in, in a more stleni way;
neither their concern, nor consolation being so powerful and
remarkable, as appeared among those more suddenly wrought
upon in the beginning of this work of grace.
June 2. " In the evening, enjoyed some freedom in secret
prayer and meditation.
June 3. " My soul rejoiced, early in the morning, to think
that all things were at (jlod's disposal. Oh, it pleased me to
leave them there ! Felt afterwards much as I did on Thursday
evening last. May 22, and continued in that frame for several
hours. Walked out in the wilderness, and enjoyed freedom,
fervency and comfort in prayer, and again enjoyed the same in
the evening.
June 4. " Spent the day in writing, and enjoyed some com-
fort, satisfaction and freedom in my work. In the evening, I
was favoured with a sweet refreshing frame of soul in secret
prayer and meditation. Prayer was now wholly turned into
praise, and I could do little else but try to adore and bless the
living God. The wonders of his grace displayed in gathering
to himself a church among the poor Indians here, were the sub-
ject matter of my meditation, and the occasion of exciting my
soul to praise and bless his name. My soul was scarcely ever
more disposed to inquire, What I should ^-ender to God for all
his benefits ? than at this time. Oh, I was brought into a strait,
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 303
a sweet and happy strait, to know what to do : I longed to
make some returns to God ; but found I had nothing to return :
I could only rejoice that God had done the work himself; and
that none in heaven or earth might pretend to share the honour
of it with him. I could only be glad that God's declarative
glory was advanced by the conversion of these souls, and that
it was to the enlargement of his kingdom in the world ; but saw
I was so poor that I had nothing to offer to him. My soul and
body, through grace, I could cheerfully surrender to him ; but
it appeared to me this was rather a burden than a gift ; and
nothing could I do to glorify his dear and blessed name. Yet
Z was glad at heart, that he was unchangeably possessed of
flory and blessedness. Oh that he might be adored and praised
y ail his intelligent creatures to the utmost extent of their ca-
pacities ! My soul would have rejoiced to see others praise him,
though I could do nothing towards it myself."
The next day he speaks of his being subject to some degree
of melancholy ; but of being somewhat relieved in the evenings
June 6. ** Discoursed to my people from part of Is. liii. The
divine presence appeared to be among us in some measure. — >
Several persons were much melted and refreshed ; and one man
in particular, who had long been under concern for his soul,
was now brought to see and feel, in a very lively manner, the
impossibility of his doing any thing to help himself, or to bring
him into the favour of God, by his tears, prayers and other
religious performances ; and found himself undone as to any
power or goodness of his own, and that there wa;s no way left
him but to leave himself with God, to be disposed of as he
pleased.
June 7. " Being desired by the Rev. William Tennent to
be his assistant in the administration of the Lord's Supper, I
this morning rode to Freehold to render that assistance. My
people also being invited to attend the sacramental solemnity ;
they cheerfully embraced the opportunity, and this day attended
the preparatory services with me.
" In the afternoon I preached from Psalm Ixxiii. 28. * But it
is good for me to draw near to God^'* &c. God gave me some
freedom and warmth in my discourse : and 1 trust his presence
was in the assembly. Was comfortably composed, enjoyed a
thankful frame of spirit, and my soul was grieved, that 1 could
not render something to God for his benefits bestowed. O that
I could be swallowed up in his praise !
Lord^s day^ June 8. " Spent much time in the morning in
secret duties, but between hope and fear respecting the enjoy-
ment of God in the business of the day then before us. Was
agreeably entertained in the forenoon by a discourse from Mr.
304 1IS1IOIE8 or BEAIHKED.
TUBHiTKNT, and felt lomewbat melted and refreibed. In tbe
season of communion, enjoyed some comfort ; and eqpeciaBjr in
serving one of the tables. Blessed be the Lord I it was • tune
of refi^hing to me, and I trust to many others.
^ Most of my people, who had been cammnmeanii at. the
Lord^s table, before being present at this sacramental occasion,
communed with others in the holy ordinance, at the desure, waA
I trust, to the satisfaction and comfort of numbers of God^ pen-
pie, who had lonced to see this day^ and whose hearts had re-
joiced in this wo» of grace among the Indians, which prmaied
the way for what appeared so agreeable at this time. Those
of my people who communed, seemed in general, agreeabfy at
. fect^ at the Lord^s table, and some of them considnmy
melted with the love of Christ, although they were not so re-
markably refreshed and feasted at this time, as when I admi-
nistered this ordinance to them in our own congregation onlf.
A number of my dear people sat down by themselves at the last
table ; at 'which time God seemed to be in the midst of liiem.
Some of the by-standers were afiected with seeinff those who
had been ^ aliens from the commonwealth of Israd, and stran-
gers to tbe covenant of promise,^ who of all men had lived
* without hope and without God in the world,* now faroug^
near to God^ as his professing people, and seating their cove-
nant with him, by a solemn and devout attendance upon this
sacred ordinance; As numbers of God^s people were refreshed
with this sight, and thereby excited to bless God for the enlaqre-
ment of his kingdom in the world ; so some others, I waB.t<3d«
were awakened by it, apprehending the danger they were in of
being themselves finally cast out ; while they saw others from
the east and west preparing, and hopefully prepared in some
^od measure, to sit down in the kingdom of God. At this sea-
son others of my people also, who were not conmiunicants,
were considerably afTected ; convictions were revived in several
instances ; and one, the man particularly mentioned in my jour-
nal of the 6th instant, obtained comfort and satisfaction; and
has since given me such an account of his spiritual exercises,
and the manner in which he obtained relief, a& appears v^
hopeful. It seems as if He, who commanded the light to shine
out of darkness, had now ^ shined into his heart, and given him
tbe li^t of,^ and experimental ' knowledge of the glory of God
in the face of Jesus Christ'
" In the afternoon God enabled me to preach with uncom-
mon freedom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. " Now then we are ambassa-
dors for Christ ^^'^ &c. Through the great goodness of God, I
was favoured with a constant flow of pertinent matter, and pro-
per expressions, from the beginning to the end of my discourse.
In the evening I could not but rejoice in God, and bless him in
the manifestations of grace in the day past ? Oh it was a sweet
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 305
and solemn day and evening ! a season of comfort to the godly,
and of awakening to some souls ! Oh that I could praise the
Lord !
June 9. " Enjoyed some sweetness in secret duties. A con-
siderable number of my people met together early in a retired
place in the woodSy and prayed, sang, and conversed of divine
tilings ; and were seen by some religious persons of the white
people to be affected and engaged, and divers of them in tears
m these religious exercises. Preached the concluding sermon
from Gen. v. 24. " And Enoch walked with God^^"* &c. God
gave me enlargement and fervency in my discourse, so that I
was enabled to speak with plainness and power ; and God^s
presence seemed to be in the assembly. Praised be the Lord,
It was a sweet meeting, a desirable assembly. I found my
strength renewed, and lengthened out even to a wonder, so
that I felt much stronger at the conclusion than in the begin-
ning of this sacramental solemnity. I have great reason to
bless God for this solemnity ; wherein I have found assistance
in addressing others, and sweetness in my own soul.
^^ After my people had attended the concluding exercises
of the sacramental solemnity, they returned home ; many of
them rejoicing for all the goodness of God which they had
seen and felt : so that this appeared to be a profitable as well
as comfortable season to numbers of my congregation. Their
being present at this occasion, and a number of them com-
muning at the Lord's table with other Christians, was, 1 trust,
for the honour of God and the interest of religion in these parts ;
as numbers I have reason to think, were quickened by means
of it."
On Tuesday^ he found himself spent, and his spirits ex-
hausted by his late labours ; and on Wednesday complainsuof
vapoury disorders and dejection of spirits, and of enjoying §ut
little comfort and spirituality.
June 12. " In the evening enjoyed freedom of mind and some
sweetness in secret prayer. It was a desirable season to me ;
my soul was enlarged in prayer for my own dear people, and
for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, and especially for the
propagation of the Gospel among the Indians, far back in the
wilderness. Was refreshed in prayer for dear friends in New
England and elsewhere. I found it sweet to pray at this time ;
and could, with all my heart say, ' It is good for me to draw
near to GodJ*
June 13. " Preached to my people upon the new creature^
from 2 Cor. v. 17, * If any man be in Christ,^ &c. The pre-
sence of God seemed to be in the assembly. It was a sweet
and agreeable meeting, wherein the people of God were re-
VoL. X. 39
306 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
freshed and strengthened ; beholding their faces in the class of
God^s word, and finding in themselves the works and linea*
ments of the new creature. Some sinners under concern were
also renewedly affected ; and afi'esh engaged for the securing
of their eternal interests.
^^ Baptized jive persons at this time, three adults, and two
children. One of these was the very aged woman^ of whose
exercises I gave an account in my diary of Dec. 26. She now
gave me a very punctual, rational, and satisfactory account of
the remarkable change which she experienced some months
after the beginning of her concern, which I must say, appeared
to be the genuine operations of the Divine Spirit, so far as I
am ca-^able of judging. Although she was become so childish
throu^ th<{e» that I could do nothing in a way oi queMionvng
with \rhs, nor scarcely make her understand any thing that I
aske(^ -A ; yet when I let her alone to go on with her own story,
she c aid give a very distinct and particular relation of the
many .-.nd various exercises of soul, which she had experienced;
so deep were the impressions left upon her mind by that in-
fluence and those exercises which she had experienced. I
have great reason to think, that she is born anew in her old
age : she being I presume, upwards of eighty. I had good
hopes of the other adults, and trust they are such as God will
own ' in the day when he makes up his jewels.'
" I came away from the meeting of the Indians this day,
rejoicing and blessing God for his grace manifested at this sea-
son.
June 14. " Rode to Kingston to assist the Rev. Mr. Wales
in the administration of the Lord's supper. In the afternoon
preached ; but almost fainted in the pulpit. Yet God strength-
ened me when I was just gone, and enabled me to speak his
word with freedom, fervency, and application to the conscience.
-Jrraised be the Lord, ' out of weakness I was made strong.'
I enjoyed some sweetness in and after public worship, but was
extremely tired. Oh, how many are the mercies of the'Lord!
'- To them that have no might he increaseth strength.'
hordes day^ June 15. " Was in a dejected, spiritless frame, so
that I could not hold up my head, nor look any body in the
face. Administered the Lord's supper at Mr. Wales' desire,
and found myself in a good measure unburdened and relieved
of my pressing load, when I came to ask a blessing on the ele-
ments. Here God gave me enlargement and a tender affec-
tionate sense of spiritual things, so that it was a season of com-
fort, in some measure to me, and I trust, more so to others.
In the afternoon, preached to a vast multitude, from Rev. xxii.
17 — ' Atid whoever will^^ &c. God helped me to offer a testi-
mony for himself, and to leave sinners inexcusable in neglect-
ing his grace. I was enabled to speak with such freedom, fin-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 307
ency and clearness, as commanded the attention of the great.
Was extremely tired in the evening, but enjoyed composure
and sweetness.
/tiTie 16. <^ Preached again; and God helped me amazingly,
so that this was a sweet refreshing season to my soul and others.
Oh, forever blessed be God for help afforded at this time, when
my body was so weak, and while there was so large an assembly
to hear. Spent this afternoon in a comfortable agreeable
manner."
Thd next day was spent comfortably. On Wednesday, he
went to a meeting of ministers at Hopewell.
June 19. " Visited my people with tw6 of the Re'«n^ ^id cor-
respondents. Spent some time in conversation witi.V(inie of
them upon spiritual things ; and took some care of theii ^j^orldly
concerns. *^
" This day makes up a complete year from the first time of
my preaching to these Indians in New Jersey. What amazing
things has God wrought in this space of time, for this poor peo-
Ele ! What a surprising change appears in their tempers and
ehaviour I How are morose and savage Pagans, in this short
period, transformed into agreeable, affectionate, and humble
Christians ! and their drunken and Pagan bowlings turned into
devout and fervent praises to God ; they * who were sometimes
in darkness are now become light in the Lord.^ May they
' walk as children of the light and of the day !' And now to
Him that is of power to establish them according to the gos-
pel, and the preaching of Christ — to God only wise, be glory
through Jesus Christ, for ever and ever, Amen."
CHAPTmilX. .. ■ I
GenenU Remarkt on the preceding Narrative of a Wort^^
Orace at Crottweelumtg, I. On the Doctrines preached to -
the Indians. II. On the Morid Efeas of preaching' Christ
Crvc^ied. IIL On the Continuance, Renewal, and Quick-
nets of the Work. IV, On the little appearance of Fidsc
JReKguni.* '
" Af tbfi close of this NaiTBtive, I would make a few General
Remqrlnt^pon what, to me, appears worthy of notice, relatiog
to th^ Continued work of grace among iny people.
h* On the Doctrinet preached to (J& Indians.
" I Itaiinot but take notice, that I have in general, ever since
mjrfintcomin^amongtfae Indiana in New-Jersey, been favoured
with that auiBtance, which, to me, ia uncommon in preaching
Christ enured, and making him the centre and marh to which
all my discoureeB amone them were directed.
" It was Oie priuciparscopfl and drift of all my discourses to
this people, for several months together, (after havins taught
them something of the being aad pirfections of God, his crea-
tion of man in a state of rectitude and happiness, and the obli-
gations mankind were thence under to love and honour him,)
to lead them into an acquaintance wilh tlieir deplorable stale
by nature, as fallen creatures ; their inubilitu to extricate and
deliver themselves from it ; the utter insufficiency of any exter-
na reformations and amendments of liTe, or of any reli^otu
performances, of which they were capable, while in this stalie,
to bring them into the favour of God, and interest them in htf
eternal mercy; thence to show them their absolute need (^
Christ to redeem and save them from the misery of their fallail
state; to open his all-sufficiency and willingness to save the.:
chief of sinners ; — thcfreeness and riches of divine grace, pro-
posed ' without money and without price,' to all that will ac-
cept the ofTer ; thereupon to press them without delay, to be-
take themselves to him, under a sense of their misery and kk-
done state, for relief and everlasting salvation ; — and to show
them the abundantencouragement the Gospel proposes toneedy,
perishing, and helpless sinners, in order to engage them bo to
do. These things, I repeatedly and largely insisted upon from,
time to time.
* As the General Remarlii in tbia diapter and the next were appended hj
BBAnrxBD to hia Journal whiiA lennioated Jane 19, 1746, this is obrioiulj the
proper place Jbr uuertiiij: them.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 309
•
*' I have oftentimes remarked with admiration, that whatever
subject I have been treating upon, after having spent time suf-
ficient to explain and illustrate the truths contained therein, I
have been naturally and easily led to Christ as the substance
of every subject. If I treated on the being and glorious per-
fections of God, I was thence naturally led to discourse of
Christ as the only 'way to the Father.' — Jf I attempted to
open the deplorable misery of our fallen state, it was natural
from thence to show the necessity of Christ to undertake for
U8, to atone for our sins, and to redeem us from the power of
them. — If I taught the commands of God, and showed our
violation of them ; this brought me in the most easy and natu-
ral way to speak of, and recommend the Lord Jesus Christ, as
one who had ' magnified the law,' which we had broken, and
who was ' become the end of it for righteousness, to every one
that believes.' Never did I find so much freedom and assist-
ance in making all the various lines of my discourses meet
together and centre in Christ, as I have frequently done among
these Indians.
** Sometimes when I have had thoughts of offering but a few
words upon some particular subject, and saw no occasion, nor
.indeed much room, for any considerable enlargement, there has
at unawares appeared such a fountain of Gospel-grace shining
forth in, or naturally resulting from a just explication of it ;
and Christ has seemed in such a manner to be pointed out as
the substance of what I was considering and explaining ; that
I have been drawn in a way not only easy and natural^ proper
and pertinent^ but almost unavoidable to discourse of him, either
in regard of his undertaking, incarnation, satisfaction, admira-
ble fitness for the work of man's redemption, or the infinite need
that sinners stand in of an interest in him ; which has opened
the way for a continued strain of Gospel invitation to perishing
souls, to come empty and naked^ weary and heavy laden, and
cast themselves upon him.
" As I have been remarkably influenced and assisted to dwell
upon the Lord Jesus Christ, and the way of salvation by him,
in the general current of my discourses here, and have been,
at times, surprisingly furnished with pertinent matter relating
to him, and the design of his incarnation ; so I have been no
less assisted oftentimes in an advantageous manner of opening
the mysteries of divine grace, and representing the infinite ex-
cellencies, and ' unsearchable riches of Christ,' as well as of
recommending him to the acceptance of perishing sinners. I
have frequently been enabled to represent the divine glory, the
infinite preciousness and transcendant loveliness of the great
Redeemer, the suitableness of his person and purchase to sup-
ply the wants, and answer the utmost desires of immortal souls ;
— to open the infinite riches of his grace, and the wonderfiil
310 M£M01RS OF BRAINSRD.
encouragement proposed in the gospel to unworthy, helpless
sinners ; — to call, invite, and beseech them to come and ^ire
up themselves to him, and be reconciled to God throimh him ;
— ^to expostulate with them respecting their neglect of one so
infinitely lovely, and freely offered ; — and this in such U manner ^
with such freedom, pertinency, pathos, and appKcation to the
conscience, as, I am sure, I never could have made myself mas-
ter of by the most assiduous application of mind. Frequently,
at such seasons, 1 have been surprisingly helped in adapting
my discourses to the capacities of my people, and bringing
them down into such easy and familiar methods of ezpressioii,
as has rendered them intelligible even to Pagans.
'^ I do not mention these things as a recommendation of my
own performances ; for 1 am sure, I found, from time to tim^
that 1 had no skill or wisdom for my great work ; and knew not
how ^ to choose out acceptable words^ proper to address poor
benighted Pagans with. But thus God was pleased to help me,
^ not to know any thing among them, save Jesus Christ, and
him crucified/ Thus I was enabled to show them their misery
without him, and to represent his complete Jitness to redeem
and save them.
*^ This was the preaching God made use of for the awakening
of sinners, and the propagation of this ' work of grace among
the Indians.^ — It was remarkable, fi-om time to time, that vrfaen
I was favoured with any special freedom, in discoursing of the
^ ability and willingness of Christ to save sinners,^ and ' the need
in which they stood of such a Saviour ;' there was then the
greatest appearance of divine power in awakening numbers of
secure souls, promoting convictions begun, and comforting the
distressed.
" I have sometimes formerly, in reading the apostle^s dis-
course to Cornelius, (Acts x.) wondered to see him so quickly
introduce the Lord Jesus Christ into his sermon, and so entirely
dwell upon him through the whole of it, observing him in this
point very widely to differ from many of ouimodem preachers;
but latterly this has not seemed strange, since Christ has ap-
peared to be the substance of the gospel, and the cenire m
which the several lines of divine revelation meet. Still I am
sensible that there are many things necessary to be spoken to
persons under Pagan darkness, in order to make way for a pro-
per iiitroduction of the name of Christ, and his undertaking in
behalf of fallen man.
II. "On the moral Effects of preaching Christ crucified.
" It is worthy of remark, that numbers of these people are
brought to a strict compliance with the rules of morality and
sobriety^ and to a conscientious performance of the extemei
duties of Christianity, by the internal power and influence of
divine truths — the peculiar doctrines of grace — upon tiieir
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 311
minds ; without their having these moral duties frequently re-
peated and inculcated upon them, and the contrary vices par*
ticularly exposed and spoken against. What has been the
general strain and drift of my preaching among these Indians,
what were the truths i principally insisted upon, and how I was
influenced and enabled to dwell from time to time upon the
peculiar doctrines of grace, I have already observed in the pre-
ceding remarks. Those doctrines, which had the most direct
tendeincy to humble the fallen creature ; to show him the misery
irf'his natural state ; to bring him down to the foot of sovereign
mercy^ and to exalt the great Redeemer — discover his trans*
cendent excellency and infinite preciousness, and so to recom*
mend him to the sinner^s acceptance — were the subject-matter
of what was delivered in public and private to them, and from
time to time repeated and inculcated upon them.
^^ God was pleased to give these divine truths such a power-
fa] influence upon the minds of these people, and so to bless
them for the effectual awakening of numbers of them, that their
lives were quickly reformed, without my insisting upon the pre-
cepts of morality^ and spending time in repeated harangues
upon external duties. There was indeed no room for any kind
of discourses but those which respected the essentials of reli-
gion, and the experimental knowledge of divine things, while
Uiere were so many inquiring daily — not how they should regu-
late their external conduct, for that^ persons who are honestly
disposed to comply with duty, when known, may in ordinary
cases, be easily satisfied about, but — ^how they should escape
from the wrath they feared, and felt a desert of,— obtain an ef-
fectual change of hearty — ^get an interest in Christ, — and come
to the enjoyment of eternal blessedness ? So that my great work
still was to lead them into a further view of their utter undone-
ness in themselves, the total depravity and corruption of their
hearts ; that there was no manner of goodness in them ; no good
disposition^ nor desires ; no love to God, nor delight in his
commands : but, on the contrary, hatred, enmity, and all man-
ner of wickedness reigning in them : — And at the same time to
^ open to them the glorious and complete remedy provided in
Christ for helpless perishing sinners, and offered freely to those
who have no goodness of their own, no * works of righteousness
which they have done, to recommend them to God.'
" This was the continued strain of my preaching; this my
great concern and constant endeavour, so to enlighten the mind,
as thereby duly to affect the hearty and, as far as possible, give
persons a sense of feeling of these precious and important doc-
trines of grace, at least, so far as means might conduce to it.
These were the doctrines, and this the method of preaching,
which were blessed of God for the awakening, and I trust, the
saving conversion of numbers of souls ; — and which were made
319 JtSMOlM OV BftAIBnKD.
the meant <^ inxxlucing a remarkd>le refivmation among tbe
hearen in general
** When these truths were felt at heartj there was now no
vice iinrefonned, — no external du^ neglected. — Dninkcnneii,
dke darlii^ vice, was broken off from, and ecarce an inBtanAt
of it known among my hearers for moDthg togp^tlier. Thekbi-
uve practice of hutbmdt and wivee in [>utting away each other, i
•ad taking others in their stead was quickly rctbniiod ; so that
. there are three or four couple wito have voluntarily dismissed i
thoee whom they had wrongfully taken, and now live together J
in lore and peace. The same might be said ctf iill other vicious i
pmcticea. — ^THie reformation was genera! ; and all sprin^ng 1
nrom the intaiud influence of divine truths upon their hearts; |
and Dot&om any external restraints, or becautc tiiey iiad heard
■ theie vices particutarly exposed, and repeatedly sj>okcn ii^ainxl,
Some of them I never so much as mentioned; particuliirly, ihiit
<tf tbe parting of men and their wives, till some, having theii
CCMMcieDce awakened by God's word, came, and of their own
accord, confessed themselves gailty in that respect. When I at
aoj time mentioned their wicked practices, and the sins ihej |
wen guilty of contrary to tbe Uffht of nature, it vras not wilh a
dorign, nor indeed with any hope, of Working an effectual re-
fbnnaticm in their external manners by this.'means, for I knen',
that while the tree remained corrupt uie frmt would naturdk \
be so. My design vras te lead them, by observing the wickea-
neas of their lives, to a view of the corruption of their hearts, ■
and BO to convince them of the necessity of a renovation of ni'
tare, and to excite them with the utmost diligence to seek aRet '
that great change ; which, if once obtained, I was sensible,
would of course produce a reformation of external manners in .
every respect.
" And as all vice was reformed upon their ^eelin^ the pomi
of these truths upon their hearts, ao the external duties of Oirit- ,
tiani^ were complied with, and conscientiously performed from
tbe same internal influence ; family prayer set up, and constantly
maintained, unless amongsome few morelatefycotne, whobad. '
felt little of this divine influence. This duty was constantly pe^
formed, even in some families where there were none but ft-
male<, and scarce a prayerless person was to be found amone
near an hundred of them. The Lord's day was seriously and
religiously observed, and care taken by parents to keep their
children orderly upon that sacred day ; and this, not be-
cause I hod driven them to the performance of these duties, by
frequently inculcating them, but because they bad yelt the
power of God's word upon their hearts, — were made senable
of their sin and misery, and thence could not but pray, and
comply with every thing which they knew to be their duty, fi«m
what they felt withm themselves. When their hearts were
MEMOIRS OF BRAINJURD. 313
touched with a sense of their eternal concerns, tliey could pray
with great freedom, as well as fervency, without being at the
trouble first to learn set forms for that purpose. Some of them,
who were suddenly awakened at their first coming among us,
were brought to pray and cry for mercy with the utmost im-
portunity, without ever being instructed in the duty of prayer,
or so much as once directed to a performance of it.
" The happy effects of these peculiar doctrines of grace, upon
which I have so much insisted upon this people, plainly disco-
ver, even to demonstration, that, instead of their opening a door
to licentiousness, as many vainly imagine, and slanderously in-
sinuate, they have a directly contrary tendency ; so that a close
application, a sense and feeling of them, will have the most
powerful influence toward the renovation, and effectual refor-
mation both of heart and life.
" Happy experience, as well as the word of God, and the ex-
ample of Christ and his apostles, has taught me, that the very
method of preaching which is best suited to awaken in man-
kind a sense and lively apprehension of their depravity and
misery in q. fallen state ^ — to excite them earnestly to seek after
a change of heart, as to fly for refuge to free and sovereign
grace in Christ as the only Iwpe set before them^ is likely to be
most sticcessful in the reformation of their external conduct. —
I have found that close addresses, and solemn applications of
divine truth to the conscience, strike at the root of all vice 5
while smooth and plausible harangues upon moral virtues and
external duties^ at best are like to do no more than lop off* the
branches of corruption, while the root of all vice remains still
untouched.
" A view of the blessed effect of honest endeavours to bring
home divine truths to the conscience, and duly to affect the
heart with them, has often reminded me of those words of our
Lord, which I have thought might be a proper exhortation for
ministers in respect of their treating with others, as well, as for
persons in general with regard to themselves, ' Cleanse first the
inside of the cup and platter, that the outside may be clean also.'
Cleanse, says he, the inside, that the outside may be clean. As
if he had said. The only effectual way to have the outside clean,
is to begin with what is within; and if the fountain he pu-
rified, the streams will naturally be pure. Most certain it is, if
we can awaken in sinners a lively sense of their inward pollu-
tion and depravity — their need of a change of heart — and so
engage them to seek after inward cleansing, their external de-
filement will naturally be cleansed, their vicious ways oi course
be reformed, and their conversation and behaviour become re-
gular.
"Now, although I cannot pretend that the reformation
among my people^ does, in every instance, spring from a saving
Vol. X, 40
314 ^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINKRD.
change of heart ; yet I may trul^ say, it flows from some heart-
(xffecting view and sense of divme truths which all have had in
a greater or less degree. — I do not intend, by what I have ob-
served here, to represent the preaching ojf morality and press-
ing persons to the external performance of duty, to be alto-
gether unnecessary and useless at any time ; and especially at
times when there is less of divine power attending the means
of grace ; — when, for want of internal influences, mere is need
of external restraints. It is doubtless among the things that
^ ought to be done,^ while ^ others are not to be left undone/ —
But what I principally designed by this remark, was to discover
a plain matter of fact, viz. That the reformation, the sobriety,
and the external compliance with the rules and duties of Chris-
tianity, appearing among my people, are not the effect of any
mere doctrinal instruction, or merely rational view of the beauty
of morality^ but from the internal power and influence which
the soul humbUng doctrines of grace have had upon their
hearts.
III. ^^ On the Continiumce^ Renewal, end Quickness of the
Work.
^^ It is remarkable, that God has so continued and renewed
the showers of his grace here ; — so quickly set up his visible
kingdom among these people ; and so smikd upon them in re-
lation to their acquirement of knowledge, both divine and hu-
man. It is now nearlv a year since the beginning of this gra-
cious outpouring of the divine Spirit among them; and al-
though it has often seemed to decline and abate for some short
space of time — as may be observed by several passages of my
Journal, where I have endeavoured to note things just as they
appeared to me — yet the shower has seemed to be renewed,
and the work of grace revived again. A divine influence seems
still apparently to attend the means of grace, in a greater or
less degree, in most of our meetings for religious exercises;
whereby religious persons are refreshed, strengthened, and es-
tablished, — convictions revived and promoted in many instan-
ces, and some few persons newly awakened from time to time.
It must be acknowledged, that for some time past, there has, in
general, appeared a more manifest decline of this work ; and
the divine Spirit has seemed, in a considerable measure, with-
drawn, especially with regard to his awakening influence — so
that the strangers who come latterly, are not seized with con-
cern as formerly ; and some few who have been much affected
with divine truths in time past, now appear less concerned. —
Yet, blessed be God, there is still an appearance of divine power
and grace, a desirable degree of tenderness, religious aflfection
and devotion in our assemblies.
" As God has continued and renewed the showers of his
grace among this people for some time ; so he has with uncom-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 315
men quickness set up his visible kingdom, and gathered himself
a church in the midst of them. I have now baptized^ since the
conclusion of my last Journal^ (or the First Part^) thirty jpei-
son^—ffteen adults BXii fifteen children. Which added to the
number there mentioned, makes seventy-seven persons ; whereof
thirty-eight are adults, and thirty-nine children ; and all within
the space of eleven months past. It must be noted, that I have
baptized no adults, but such as appeared to have a work of
m>ecial grace wrought in their hearts ; I mean such as have had
the experience not only of the awakening and humbling, but
in a judgment of charity, of the renewing and confirming infiu-
^ences oi the divine Spirit. There are many others under so-
lemn concern for their souls, who I apprehend, are persons of
sufficient knowledge, and visible seriousness, at present^ to ren-
der them proper subjects of the ordinance of baptism, ifet
since they give no comfortable evidence of a saving change, but
only appear under convictions of their sin and misery ; as the
propensity in this people to abuse themselves with strong drink
IS naturally very great ; and as some, who at present appear
serious and concerned for their souls, may lose their concern,
and return to this sin, and so, if baptized, prove a scandal to
their profession ; I have thought proper hitherto to defer their
baptism.
" I likewise administered the Lord's supper to a number of
persons, who I have abundant reason to think, as I elsewhere
observed, were proper subjects of that ordinance, within the
space of len months and ten days^ after my first coming among
these Indians in New-Jersey. From the time, when, as I am
informed, some of them attending an idolatrous feast and sacri-
fice in honour to devils^ to the time when they sat down at the
Lord^s table, I trust to the honour of God, was not more than a
full year. Surely Christ's little flock here, so suddenly gather-
ed from among Pagans, may justly say, in the language of the
church of old, * The Lord hath done great things for us, where-
of we are glad.'
^^ Much of the goodness of God has also appeared in relation
to their acquirement of knowledge, both in religion and in the
affairs of common life. There has been a wonderful thirst after
Christum knowledge prevailing among them in general, and an
eager desire of being instructed in Christian doctrines and
manners. This has prompted them to ask many pertinent as
well as important questions ; the answers to which have tended
much to enlighten their minds, and promote their knowledge
in divine things. Many of the doctrines which I have deliver-
ed, they have queried with me about, in order to gain further
light and insight into them ; particularly the doctrine of predes-
tination ; and have from time to time manifested a good under-
316 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.
standing of them, by their answers to the questions proposed to
them in my catechetical lectures.
" They nave likewise queried with me, respecting a proper
method^ as well as proper matter^ of prayer, and expressions sui-
table to be used in that religious exercise ; and have taken pains
in order to the performance of this duty with understanding.—
They have likewise taken pains, and appeared remarkably apt
in learning to sing Psalm-tunes^ and are now able to sing with
a good degree of decency in the worship of God. — They have
also acquired a considerable degree of useful knowledge in the
affairs of common life ; so that they now appear like rational
creatures, fit for human society, free of that savage roughness
and brutish stupidity, which rendered them very disagreeable in
their Pagan state.
" They seem ambitious of a thorough acquaintance with the
English language, and for that end frequently speak it among
themselves. Many of them have made good proficiency in their
acquirement of it, since my coming among them ; so that most
of them can understand a considerable part, and some the sub-
stance of my discourses, without an interpreter^ being used to
my low and vulgar methods of expression, though they could
not well understand other ministers.
" As they are desirous of instruction, and surprisingly apt in
the reception of it, so divine Providence has smiled upon them
with regard to the proper means in order to it. The attempts
made for the procurement of a school among them have been
succeeded, and a kind providence has sent them a schoolmaster
of whom I may justly say, I know of ' no man like minded, who
will naturally care for their state.' — He has generally thirty or
thirty-five children in his school : and when he kept an evening
school, as he did w^hilc the length of the evenings would admit
of it, he hviA fifteen or twenty people, married and single.
" The children learn with surprisiuij^ readiness ; so that their
master tells me, he never had an English school which learned,
in general, comparably so fast. There were not above two in
thirty^ although some of them were very small, but that learned
to know all the letters in the alphabet distinctly, within three
days after his entrance upon his business ; and several in that
space of time learned to spell considerably. Some of them,
since the beginning of February last,*" when the school was set
up, have learned so much, that they are able to read in a Psal-
ter or Testament^ without spelling.
" They are instructed twice a week in the Assembly's Shorter
Catechism^ on Wednesday and Saturday. Some of them
since the latter end of February, when they began, have learn-
♦ In less than five months, viz. from Feb. 1, to June 19.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 317
ed to say it pretty distinctly by hearty considerably more than
half through ; and most of them have made some proficiency
in it
** They are likewise instructed in the doty of secret prayer,
and most of them constantly attend it night and morning, and
are very careful to inform their master if they apprehend that
any of their little school-mates neglect that religious exercise.
IV, " On the little Appearance of False Religion.
" It is worthy to be noted, to the praise of sovereign grace,
that amidst so great a work of conviction — so much concern
and religious affection — there has been no prevalence^ nor in-
deed any considerable appearance of false religion^ if I may so
term it, or heats of imagination, intemperate zeal, and spiritual
pride ; which corrupt mixtures too often attend the revival and
powerful propagation of religion ; and that there have been very
few instances of irregular and scandalous behaviour among
those who have appeared serious. I may justly repeat what 1
formerly observed, that there has here been no appearance of
' bodily agonies, convulsions, frightful screamings, swoonings,^
. and the like ; and may now fiirther add, that there has been no
prevalence of visions, trances, and imaginations of any kind ;
although there has been some appearance of something of that
nature ; an instance of which I have given an account of in my
Diary for December 26.
" feut this toork of grace has, in the main, been carried on
with a surprising degree of purity^ and freedom from trash and
corrupt mixture. The religious concern under which persons
have been, has generally been rational and just / arising from
a sefise of their sins and exposedness to the divine displeasure
on account of them ; as well as their utter inability to deliver
themselves from the misery which they felt and feared. If
there has been, in any instance, an appearance of concern and
perturbation of mind, when the subjects of it knew not why ;
yet there has been no prevalence of any such thing ; and indeed
1 scarcely know of any instance of that nature at all.-^It is very
remarkable, that, although the concern of many persons under
convictions of their perishing state has been very great and
pressing, yet 1 have never seen any thing like desperation at-
tending it in any one instance. They have had the most lively
sense of their undoneness in themselves; have been brought to
give up all hopes of deliverance from themselves ; have experi-
enced great distress and anguish of soul ; and yet, in the seasons
of the greatest extremity, there has been no appearance of des-
pair in any of them, — nothing that has discouraged, or in any
wise hindered them from the most diligent use of all proper
means for their conversion and salvation. Hence it is appa-
rent, that there is not that danger of persons being driven into
318 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
despair under spiritual trouble^ unless in cases of deep and
habitual melancholy, which the world m general is ready to
imagine.
" The comfort which persons have obtained after their dis-
tresses, has fikewise in general appeared solid, well grounded,
and scriptural ; arising from a spiritual and gupematurdHJlnmh
nation of mind, — a view of divine things, in a measure, as theg
are^ — a complacency of soul in the divine perfections, — and a
peculiar satisfaction in the way of salvation by free sovereign
grace in the great Redeemer.
" Their joys have seemed to rise from a variety of views and
considerations of divine things, although for substance the
same. Some, who under conviction seemed to have the hardest
struggles and heart-risings against the divine sovereignty^ have
seemed, at the first da^n of their comfort, to rejoice in a pecu-
liar manner in that divine perfection : — and have been delight*
ed to think that themselves, and all things else, were in the
hand of God, and that he would dispose of them * just as be
pleased.'
" Others, who just before their reception of comfort have been
remarkably oppressed with a sense of their undoneness and
poverty, who have seen themselves, as it were, falling down
into remediless perdition, have been at first more peculiarly de-
lighted with a view of the freeness and riches of divine ficrace,
and the offer of salvation made to perishing sinners ^ without
money, and without price.'
" Some have at first appeared to rejoice especially in the
zvisdom of God, discovered in the way of salvation by Christ ; it
then appearing to them * a new and living way,' a way of which
they had never thought, nor had any just conceptions, until
opened to them by the special influence of the divine Spirit.
Some of them, upon a lively spiritual view of this way of salva-
tion, have wondered at their past folly in seeking salvation in
other ways, and have wondered that they never saw this way of
salvation before, which now appeared so plain and easy^ as well
as excellent to them.
" Others, again, have had a more general view of the beauty
and excellency of Christ, and have had their souls delighted
with an apprehension of his divine glory, as unspeakably ex-
ceeding all of which they had ever conceived before ; yet, with-
out singling out any one of the divine perfections in particular;
so that although their comforts have seemed to arise from
a variety of views and considerations of divine glories, still
they were spiritual and supernatural views of them, and not
groundless fancies, which were the spring of their joys and
comforts.
'• Yet it must be acknowledged, that, when this work became
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 319
SO universal and prevalent^ and gained such general credit and
esteem among the Indians as Satan seemed to have little ad-
vantage of working against it in his own proper garb, he then
transformed himself ' into an angel of light,' and made some
vigorous attempts to introduce turbulent commotions of the
passions in the room of genuine convictions of sin, imaginary
and fanciful notions of Christ, as appearing to the mental eye
in a human shape, and in some particular postures, &c. in the
room of spiritual and supernatural discoveries of his divine
glory and excellency, as well as divers other delusions. I have
reason to think, that, if these things had met with countenance
and encouragement, there would have been a very considerable
harvest of this kind of converts here.
" Spiritual pride also discovered itself in various instances.
Some persons who had been under great affections, seemed
very desirous from thence of being thought truly gracious : who,
when 1 could not but express to them my fears respecting their
spiritual state, discovered their resentments to a considerable
degree upon that occasion. There also appeared in one or two
of them an unbecoming ambition of being teachers of others.
So that Satan has been a busy adversary here, as well as else-
where. But blessed be God, though something of this nature
has appeared, yet nothing of it has prevailed^ nor indeed made
any considerable progress at all. My people are now apprised
of these things, are made acquainted, that Satan in such a
manner ^ transformed himself into an angel of light,^ in the first
season of the great outpouring of the divine Spirit in the days
of the apostles ; and that something of this nature, in a greater
or less degree, has attended almost every revival and remarka-
ble propagation of true religion ever since. They have learned
so to distinguish between the gold and dross^ that the credit of
the latter ^ is trodden down like the mire of the streets ;' and, as
it is natural for this kind of stu^ to die with its credit^ there is
now scarce any appearance of it among them.
" As there has been no prevalence of irregular heats, imagi*
nary notions, spiritual pride, and Satanical delusions among my
people ; so there have been very few instances of scandalous
and irregular behaviour among those who have made a pro-
fession^ or even an appearance of seriousness. I do not know
of more than three or four such persons who have been guilty
of any open misconduct, since their first acquaintance with
Christianity ; and not one who persists in any thing of that na-
ture. Perhaps the remarkable purity of this work in the latter
respect, its freedom from frequent instances of scandal, is very
much owing to its purity in the former respect, its freedom from
corrupt mixtures of spiritual pride, wild-fire, and delusion,
which naturally lay a foundation for scandalous practices.
32U MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
" May this blessed work in the power and purity of it prevail
among the poor Indians here, as well as spread elsewhere, till
their remotest tribes shall see the salvation of God ! Ameiu''*
* '* Money eoileeted and expended for the Indians^ — As mention has been made in
the preceding Diary, of hh English school erecied and continued among these In-
dians, dependent entire y upon charity ; and as collections have already been mads
in divers olaces for the support of it, as well as lor defraying other charges which
have necesi^arily arisen in the piomotion of the religious interests of the Indiaitt;
it may be satisfactory, and perhaps will be thought by some but a piece (rf'jas-
tice to the world, that an exact account be here given of the money already r^
ceived hy way of collection for the benefit of the Indians, and the manner in
which it has been expended.
The following is therefore a just account of this matter : —
Money received since October last, by way of public coUectioD, for promotii^
the religious interests of the Indians in New-Jersey, viz.
£. #. d.
From New York 23 10 2
Jamaica on Long-Island 3
Elizabeth-Town 7 5
Elizubeth-Town Farms 1 18 9
Newark ........ 457
Woodbridge 2 18 2
Morris-Town 1 5 3 *
Freehold 12 11
Freehold Dutch congregation . • • . 4 14 3
Shrewsbury and Shark-river . . • . 3 5
Middle-Town Dutch congregation . . • 2
The Dutch congregation in and about N. Brunswick 3 5
KingVtown . . . . . . . 5 11
Neshaminy, and places adjacent in Pennsylyania 14 5 10
Abington and New-Providence, by the hand of the
Rev. Mr. Treat 10 5
The whole amounting to £100
Money paid out since October last for promoting the religious interests of the
Indians in New-Jersey, viz,
£. s. d.
Upon the occasion mentioned in my Journal of Jan. 28 82 5
For the building of a school-house . . . 3 5
To the schoolmaster as a part of bis reward for his
present year's service 17 10
For books for the children to learn in . . 3
The whole amounting to J&106
DAVID BRAINERD/'
CHAPTER X.
General Remarks on the Work of Grace at Crossweeksung
continued. — Introduction. — Method of learning the Indian
Language. — Method of Instructing the Indians, — Difficulties
in the way in converting them to Christianity. — Attestations
of neighbouring Ministers^ Elders^ and Deacons to the Dis-
play of Divine grace at Crossweeksung.
^^ 1 should have concluded what I had at present to offer,
upon the affairs respecting my mission^ with the preceding ac-
count of the money collected and expended for the religious in-
terests of the Indians, but that 1 have not long since received
from the Rev. President of the correspondents, the copy of a
letter directed to him from the Hon. Society for propagating
Christian knowledge, dated Edinburgh, March 21, 1745.
Wherein I find it is expressly enjoined upon their missionaries,
' That they give an exact account of the methods they make
use of for instructing themselves in the Indians^ language, and
what progress they have already made in it ; of what methods
they are now taking to instruct the Indians in the principles
of our holy religion : and particularly of what difficulties they
have already met with, and of the methods they make use of
for surmounting the same.^
" As to the two former of these particulars, I trust that what
I have already noted in my communications from time to time,
might have been in good measure satisfactory to the Hon. So-
ciety, had they arrived safely and seasonably ; which 1 am sen-
sible they have not in general done, by reason of their falling
into the hands of the enemy ; although I have been at the
pains of sending two copies of each, for more than two years
p ast, lest one might miscarry in the passage. With relation
to the latter of these particulars, I have purposely omitted say-
ing any thing considerable, and that for these two reasons.
Firsts because I could not oftentimes give any tolerable account
of the difficulties which I met with in ray work, without speak-
ing somewhat particularly of the causes of them, and the cir-
cumstances conducing to them, which would necessarily have
rendered my journals very tedious. Besides, some of the causes
of my difficulties, I thought more fit to be concealed than di-
vulged. Secondly^ because I thought that a frequent mention
of the difficulties attending my work, might appear an unbe-
coming complaint under my burdens ; or as if I would rather
be thought to be endowed with a singular measure of self-denial,
constancy, and holy resolution, to meet and confront so many
Vol, X. 41
322 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£KI>.
difficulties, and yet to hold on and go forward amidst them
all. But since the honourable Society are pleased to require
a more exact and particular account of these things, I shall
cheerfully endeavour something for their satisfaction in rela-
tion to each of these particulars ; although with regard to the
latter, I am ready to say, Infandum—jubes renovare delorem.
SECT. I.
'' Method of learning the Indian language.
" The most successful method which I have taken for instruct-
ing myself in any of the Indian languages, is to translate En-
frhsh discourses by the help of an interpreter or two, into their
anguage, as near verbatim as tlie sense will admit of, ami to
observe strictly how they use words, and what constructioD
thc^ will bear in various cases ; and thus to ffain some ac-
quaintance with the root from whence particiuar words pro-
ceed, and to see how they are thence varied and diversified.
But here occurs a very great difficultjr ; for the interpreters be-
in^ unlearned, and unacquainted with the rules of language,
it IS impossible sometimes to know by them what part of speech
some particular word is of, whether noim^ rer6, or participle;
for they seem to use participles sometimes where we should
use nouns^ and sometimes where we should use verbs in tte
English language.
" But I have, notwithstanding many difficulties, gained some
acquaintance with the grounds of the Delaware language, and
have learned most of the defects in it ; so that I know what
English words can, and what cannot be translated into it. I
have also gained some acquaintance with the particular phra-
seologies, as well as peculiarities of their language, one of which
I cannot but mention. Their language does not admit of their
speaking any word denoting relation, such as, father, son, &c.
absolutely ; that is, without prefixing a pronoun-possessive to
it, such as, wi?/, thy^ his^ &c. Hence they cannot be baptized
in their own language in the name of the Father, and the Son,
&,c ; but they may be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ
and his Father, &c. I have gained so much knowledge of
their language, that I can understand a considerable part of
what they say, when they discourse upon divine things, and am
frequently able to correct my interpreter if he mistakes my
sense. But I can do nothing to any purpose at speaking the
language myself.
" As an apology for this defect, I must renew, or rather en-
large my former complaint, viz : — That ' while so much of my
time is necessarily consumed in journeying,' while I am obliged
to ride four thousand miles a year, as I have done in the year
• MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 3'23
past, * I can have little left for any of my necessary studies^ and
consequently for the study of the Indian languages.' This, I
may venture to say, is the great, if not the only reason why the
Delaware language is not fa,!niliar to me before this time. It
is impossible that I should ever be able to speak it without close
application, for which, at present, I see no prospect of having
time. To preach and catechise frequently ; to converse pri-
vately with persons who need so much instruction and direc-
tion as these poor Indians do ; to take care of all their secular
affairs, as if they were a company of children ; to ride about
frequently in order to procure collections for the support of the
school^ and for their help and benefit in other respects ; to hear
and decide all the petty differences which arise among any of
them ; and to have the constant oversight and management of
all their affairs of every kind ; must needs engross most of my
time, and leave me little for application to the study of the In-
dian languages. When I add to this the time that is necessa-
rily consumed upon my Diary, I must say I have little to spare
for other business. I have not, as was observed before, sent
to the Hon. Society less than two copies of every journal, for
more than two years past ; most of which, I suppose, have
been taken by the French in their passage. A third copy I
have constantly kept by me, lest the others should miscarry.
This has caused me not a little labour, and so straitened me
for time, when I have been at liberty from other business, and
had opportunity to sit down to write, which is but rare, that 1
have been obliged to write twelve and thirteen hours in a day ;
till my spirits have been extremely v^fasted, and my life almost
spent, to get these writings accomplished. After all, after dili-
gent application to the various parts of my work, and after the
most industrious improvement of time, of which I am capa-
ble, both early and late, I cannot oftentimes possibly gain two
hours in a week for reading, or any other studies, unless just for
what appears of absolute necessity /or the present. Frequently
when I attempt to redeem time, by sparing it out of my sleep-
ing hours, I am by that means thrown under bodily indisposition,
and rendered fit for nothing. — This is truly my present state,
and is like to be so, for ought I can see, unless I could procure
an assistant in my work, or quit my present business.
"Although I have not made that proficiency which I could
wish to have made, in learning the Indian languages ; yet I
have used all endeavours to instruct them in the English
tongue; which perhaps will be more advantageous to the
Christian interest among them, than if I should preach in their
own language ; for that is very defective, as I shall hereafter
observe, so that many things cannot be communicated to them
without introducing English terms. Besides, they can have no
books translated into their language, without great difllculty
324
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
and expense; and if stiil accustomed to their own lan-
guage only, they would have no advantage of hearing other
ministers occasionally, or in my absence. So that my having
a perfect acquaintance with the Indian language, would be (h
no great importance with regard to this congregation of Indians
in New-Jersey, although it might be of great service to me in
treating with the Indians elsewhere.
SECT. II.
Method of Instructing the Indians,
'' The method which I am taking to instruct the Indians in the
principles of our holy religion, are, to preach, or open and im-
prove some particular points of doctrine ; to expound particular
paragraphs, or sometimes whole chapters of God^s word to
them ; to give historical relations from Scripture of the most
material and remarkable occurrences relating to the church of
God from the beginning; and frequently to catechise them
upon the principles of Christianity. The latter of these me-
thods of instructing, I manage in a twofold manner. 1 some-
times catechise systematicaUy^ proposing questions agreeaUy
to the Assembly's Shorter Catechism. This I have carried to
a considerable length. At other times 1 catechise upon any
important subject which I think difficult to them. Sometimes,
when I have discoursed upon some particular point, and made
it as plain and familiar to them as I can, I then catechise them
upon the most material branches of my discourse, to see whe-
ther they had a thorough understanding of it. But as 1 have
catechised chiefly in a systematical form, I shall here give some
specimen of the method I make use of in it, as well as of the
propriety and justness of my people's answers to the questions
proposed to them.
" Questions upon the benefits believers receive from Christ at
death.
Q. " 1 have shown you, that the children of God receive a
great many good things from Christ while they live, now have
they any more to receive when they come to die ?
A. Yes.
Q. Are the children of God ihen made perfectly free from
sin ? A. Yes.
Q. Do you think they will never more be troubled with vain,
foolish, and wicked thoughts ? A. No, never at all.
Q. Will they not then be like the good angels 1 have so often
told you of? A, Yes.
Q. And do you call this a great mercy to be freed from all
sin? A. Yes.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 325
Q. Do-all God^s children count it so ?
A. Yes, all of them.
Q. Do you think this is what they would ask for above all
thinffs, if God should say to them, Ask what you will, and it
dialT be done for you ?
A, O yes, besure, this is what they want.
Q. You say the souls of God's people at death are made
perfectly free from sin, where do they go then ?
JL. They go and live with Jesus Christ.
Q. Does Christ show them more respect and honour, and
make them more happy* than we can possibly think of in this
world? A. Yes,
Q. Do thev go immediately to live with Christ in heaven, as
soon]|as their bodies are dead ? or do they tarry somewhere else
a while ?
A. They go immediately to Christ.
Q. Does Christ take any care of the bodies of his people
when they are^dead, and their souls gone to heaven, or does he
forget them ? A, He takes care of them.
^ These questions were all answered with surprising readi-
ness, and without once missing, as I remember. In answering
severa^of them, which respected deliverance from sin, they
were much affected, and melted with the hopes of that happy
state.''
'* Questions upon the benefits which believers receive from
Christ at the resurrection.
Q. You see I have already shown you what good things
Christ gives his good people while they live, and when they
<x>me to die : now, will he raise their bodies, and the bodies of
others, to life again at the last day ?
A. Yes, they shall all be raised.
Q. Shall they then have the same bodies they now have ?
A, Yes.
Q. Will their bodies then be weak, will they feel cold, hun-
ger, thirst, and weariness, as they now do ?
A. No, none of these things.
Q. Wiir their bodies ever die any more after they are raised
to;iife? * A. No.
Q. T^ill their souls and bodies be joined together again ?
A. Yes.
Q. WillJGod's people be more happy then, than they were
while their bodies were asleep ? A. Yes.
* The only way I have to express their *^ entering into glory," or being glo-
rified ; there being no word in the Indian language answering to that general
term.
3126 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Q. Will Christ then own these to be his people before all the
world ? A, Yes.
Q. But God^s people find so much sin in themselves, that
they are often ashamed of themselves, and will not Christ be
ashamed to own such for his friends at that day ?
A. No, he never will be ashamed of them.
Q. Will Christ then show all the world, that he has put away
these people^s sins,* and that he looks upon them as if they had
never sinned at all ? A. Yes.
Q. Will he look upon them as if they had never sinned, for
the sake of any good things they have done themselves, or for
the sake of his righteousness accounted to them as if it was
theirs?
A. For the sake of his righteousness counted to them, not fix
their own goodness.
Q. Will God^s children then be as happy as they can desire
to be ? A. Yes.
Q. The children of God while in this world, can but now
and then draw near to him, and they are ready to think they
can never have enough of God and Christ, but will they have
enough there, as much as they can desire ?
A. O yes, enough, enough.
Q. Will the children of God love him then as much as they
desire, will they find nothing to hinder their love from going to
him?
A. Nothing at all, they shall love him as much as they de-
sire.
Q. Will they never be weary of God and Christ, and the
pleasures of heaven, so as we are weary of our friends and en-
joyments here, after we have been pleased with them a while ?
A, No, never.
Q. Could God's people be happy if they knew God loved
them, and yet felt at the same time that they could not love and
honour him ? A. No, no.
Q, Will this then make God's people perfectly happy, to
love God above all, to honour him continually, and to feel his
love to them ? A. Yes.
Q. And will this happiness last for ever ?
A. Yes, for ever, for ever.
"These questions, like the former, were answered without
hesitation or missing, as I remember in any one instance."
" Questions upon the duty which God requires of men,
Q. Has God let us know any thing of his will, or what he
would have us to do to please him ? A. Yes.
* The only way I have to express their being openly — cLcquitted. In like man-
ner, when I speak of justification, I have no other way but to call it God's look-
ing upon us as good creatures.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 327
Q. And does he require us to do his will, and to please him ?
A. Yes.
Q. Is it right that God should require this of us, has he any
business to command us as a father does his children ?
A. Yes.
Q. Why is it right that God should command us to do what
he pleases ?
A, Because he made us, and fives us all our good things.
Q. Does God require us to do any thing that will, hurt us,
and take away our comfort and happiness ? A. No.
Q. But God requires sinners to repent and be sorry for their
sins, and to have their hearts broken ; now, does not this hurt
them, and take away their comfort, to be made sorry, and to
have their hearts broken ?
A. No, it does them good.
Q. Did God teach man his will at first by writing it down in
a book, or did he put it into his heart, and teach him without a
book what was right ?
A. He put it into his heart, and made him know what he
should do.
Q. Has God since that time writ down his will in a book ?
A. Yes.
Q. Has God written his whole will in his book ; has he there
told us all that he would have us believe and do ?
A. Yes.
Q. What need was there of this book, if God at first put his
will into the heart of man, and made him feel what he should
do?
JL There was need of it, because we have sinned, and made
our hearts blind.
Q. And has God writ down the same things in his book,
that he at first put into the heart of man ?
A. Yes.
" In this manner I endeavour to adapt my instructions to the
capacities of my people ; although they may perhaps seem
strange to others who have never experienced the difficulty of
the work. These, of which I have given an account, are the
methods I am from time to time pursuing, in order to instruct
them in the principles of Christianity. I think I may say, it is
my great concern that these instructions be given them in such
a manner^ that they may not only be doctrinally taught^ but
duly ejected thereby ; that divine truths may come to them,
* not m word only, but in power and in the Holy Ghost,' and
be received * not as the word of man.'
3i28 MEMOIRS OF BRAINESa
SECT. 111.
^^ Difficulties attending the Christianizing of the Indians — Fint
Difficulty^ the rooted aversion to Christianity that generally
prevails among them.
'' I shall now attempt something with relation to the lastpar*
ticular required by the Honourable Society in their letter, yiz.
To give some account of the * difficulties I have already met
with in my work, and the methods I make use of for surmount-
ing the same.^
I. ^^ I have met with great difficulty in my work among these
Indians, ^from the rooted aversion to Christianity which gener-
ally prevails among them,^ They are not only brutishly stupid
and Ignorant of divine things, but many of them are obstinately
set against Christianity, and seem to abhor even the Christian
name.
" This aversion to Christianity arises partly from a view of
the ^ immorality and vicious behaviour oimany who are called
christians.^ They observe that horrid wickedness in nominal
christians, which the light of nature condemns in themselves ;
and not having distinguishing views of things, are ready to look
upon all the white people alike^ and to condemn them oltie,
for the abominable practices of some. — Hence, when I have at-
tempted to treat with them about Christianity, they have fre-
quently objected the scandalous practices of Christians. They
have observed to me, that the white people lie, defraud, steal,
and drink worse than the Indians ; that they have taught the
Indians these things, especially the latter of them ; who before
the coming of the English, knew of no such thing as strong
drink ; that the English have, by these means, made them quar-
rel and kill one another ; and, in a word brought them to the
practice of all those vices which now prevail among them. So
that they are now vastly more vicious, as well as much more
miserable, than they were before the coming of the white peo-
ple into the country. — These, and such like objections, they
frequently make against Christianity, which are not easily an-
swered to their satisfaction ; many of them being facts too no-
toriously true.
" The only way I have to take in order to surmount this diffi-
culty^ is to distinguish between nominal and reaZ christians ; and
to show them, that the ill conduct of many of the former pro-
ceeds not from their being christians, but from their being chris-
tians only in name^ not in heart. To this it has sometimes been
objected, that, if all those who will cheat the Indians are chris-
tians only in name, there are but few left in the country to be
christian in heart. This, and many other of the remarks they
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 329
pass upon the white people, and their miscarriages, I am forced
to own, and cannot but grant, that many nominal christians are
more abominably wicked than the Indians, fiut then I attempt
to show them, that there are some who feel the power of Chris-
tianity, and that these are not so. I ask them, when they ever
saw me guilty of the vices of which they complain, and with
which the^ charge Christians in general ? But still the great
difficulty IS, that the people who live back in the country near-
est to them, and the traders who go among them, are generally
of the most irreligious and vicious sort ; and the conduct of
one or two persons, be it never so exemplary, is not sufficient
to counterbalance the vicious behaviour of so many of the
same denomination, and so to recommend Christianity to
Pagans.
" Another thing which serves to make them more averse to
Christianity, is a ' fear of being enslaved.' They are, perhaps,
some of the most jealous people living, and extremely averse
to a state of servitude ; and hence are always afraid of some
desi^ forming against them. Besides, they seem to have no
sentiments of generositv, benevolence, and goodness. If any
thing be proposed to them, as being for their good, they are
ready rather to suspect, that there is at bottom some design
forming against them, than that such proposals flow from good
will to them, and a desire of their welfare. Hence, when I ,
have attempted to recommend Christianity to their acceptance,
they have sometimes objected, that the white people have
come among them, have cheated them out of their lands, and
driven them back to the mountains, from the pleasant places
they used to enjoy by the sea-side ; that therefore they have no
reason to think the white people are now seeking their welfare;
but rather that they have sent me out to draw them together,
under a pretence of kindness to them, that they may have an op-
portunity to make slaves of them, as they do of the poor negroes,
or else to ship them on board their vessels, and make them
fight with their enemies. Thus they have oftentimes construed
all the kindness I could show them, and the hardships I have en-
dured in order to treat with them about Christianity. — *• He
never would,' say they, ' take all this pains to do us good ; he
must have some wicked design to hurt us some way or other.'
To give them assurance of the contrary, is not an easy matter ;
while there are so many, who, agreeable to their apprehension,
are only * seeking their own,' not the good of others.
** To remove this difficulty, I inform them, that I am not sent
out among them by those persons in these provinces.! who they
suppose, have cheated them out of their lands ; but by pious
people at a great distance, who never had an inch of their lands.
nor ever thought of doing them anv hurt.
Vol. X. 42
390 JI&JI01&6 or BftAlKUU>.
f
^* But here will arise so many firhroUMis and iippertiiieiil ipM-
tioos, that it would tire oae^s patience, aiid weapr ofajL pi|C^*#
spirits to hear them ; such as, * Bui why did not ffl^ gP04
people send you to teach us before, while we ^f^ HQf MjjB^f
down by the sea-side. If they had sent yoi| tfae^i, wo ^hiwHA
likely have heard you, and turned Christians.^ The poor fSB^ffr
tures still imagimou;, that I should be much behi4den tp tfeMffit
in case they woula hearken to Christianity ; and insiynupting,
that this was a favour they could not now be so good as to show
me, seeing they had received so many injuries ffom the wpliUe
people.
^ Another sprint of aversion to Christianity in the Indiftiis, if
^ their stronff attachment to their own religious notions, if tbey
may be called religious, and the early prejudices which th^
have imbibed in favour of their own ftantic and ridiculous kind
of worship.^ What their notions of God are, in their Paf^sa
state, is hard precisely to determine. I have taken muc^ paus
to in(]uire of mj Christian people, whether they, befcwe thw
acquamtance with Christianity, imagined that there was fn
plurality of oreat invisible powers, or whether they ramqtad
put one such oeing, and wcmhipped him in a variety iof UflBf
and shapes ; but cannot learn any thing of them so distiiict psto
be fully satisfied upon the point. Their notions in that st^
were so prodigiously dark and confiised, that they aeefned not
to know what they thought themselves. But cfo &r as I can
learn, they had a notion of a plurality of invisible deiiiee^ and
paid some kind of homage to them promiscuously, under a great
variety of forms and shapes. It is certain, that those who yet
remain Paffans, pay some kind of superstitious reverence to
beasts, biros, fishes, and even reptiles ; that is, some to one kind
of animal, and some to another. They do not indeed suppose
a divine power essenticd to, or inhering in, these creatures ; but
that some invisible beings — I cannot learn that it is always one
such being only, but divers ; not distinguished fi'om each other
by certain names, but only notionally ;-— communicate to those
animals a great power ^ either one or other of them, just as it
happens, or perhaps sometimes all of them ; and so make these
creatures the immediate authors of good to certain persons. —
Whence such a creature becomes sacred to the persons to
whom he is supposed to be the immediate author of^good, and
through him they must worship the invisible powers, though to
others he is no more than another creature. Perhaps another
animal is looked upon to be the immediate author of good to
another ; and consequently he must worship the invisitue ppW'»
ers in that animal. I have known a Pagan burn fine tobacco
for incense, in order to appease the anger of that invisible power,
which he supposed presided over rattle-snakes^ because one of
these animals was killed by another Indian near lus hoi)se.
MEXdlfRd OF BRAINiSRl^. 331
** After the strictest inquiry respecting their notions of the
Deitj, I find, that in ancient times, before the coming of the
white people, some supposed that there were four mvisible
powers, who presided over the four corners of the earth.
Others imagined the 9un to be the ovdy deity, and that all
things were made by him. Others, at the same time, have a
confused notion of a certain body or fountain of deity ^ some-
what like the anima mundi^ so frequently mentionedf by the
more learned ancient Heathens, diffusing itself to varipus ani-
mals, and even to inanimate things, making them the imme-
diate authors of good to certain persons, as before observed,
with respect to various supposed deities. But after the coming
of the white people, they seemed to suppose there were three
deities, and three only, because they saw people of three differ-
ent kinds of complexion, viz. English, Negroes, and Indians.
'* It is a notion pretty generally prevailing among them, that
it wa« not the same God made them, who made us ; but that
they were made after the white people ; which further shows,
that they imagine a plurality of divine powers. I fancy that
thejr suppose tneir God gained some special skill by seeing the
white people made, and so made them better ; for it is certain
they look upon themselves, and their method of living, which
they say, their God expressly prescribed for them, vastly pre-
ferable to the white people, and their method. Hence they
will frequently sit and laugh at the whites, as being good for
nothing else but to plough and fatigue themselves with hard
labour ; while they enjoy the satisfaction of stretching them-
selves on the ground, and sleeping as much as they please ; and
have no other trouble but now and then to chase the deer,
which is often attended with pleasure rather than pain. Hence,
by the way, many of them look upon it to be as disgracefiil for
tnem to become Christians, as it would be esteemed among
Christians for any to become Pagans. They suppose our reli-
g'on will do well enough for us, because prescribed by otir
od ; yet it is no way proper for them, because not of the
same make and origmal. This they have sometimes ofiered
as a reason why tl^y did not incline to hearken to Christi-
anity.
*^ They seem to have some confused notion about a future
state of existence, and many of them imagine that the chichung^
i, e. the shadow^ or what survives the body, will at death go
southward^ and in an unknown but curious place, will enjoy
some kind of happiness, such as hunting, feasting, dancing,
and the like. What they suppose will contribute much to their
happiness in that state is, that they shall never be weary of
those entertainments. It seems by this notion of their going
ecuthtoard to obtain happiness, as if they had their course into
these parts of the world firom some very cold climate, and
832 M EMOUM OF BEAUnCBD.
found the further they went sauikward the mote eomfiirtabie
they w&[e ; and thence concluded, that perfect felicity was to
be found further towards the same point
** They seem to have some faint and glimmering notion about
^ewatdi and punishmeniSj or at least hufprness and wngen in a
future state ; that is, some with whom I have conversed ; though
others seem to know ci no such thing. Those who suppose
this, seem to ima^ne that most will be happ^ ; and that tnoae
who are not so, will be punished only with prwaUom^ being only
excluded the walls of that good world, where hiq>py souls shall
dwell
^ These rewards and punishments they suppose to depend
entirely upon their conduct with relation to tne duties of the
stfcofui table, L e. their behaviour towards mankind ; and seem,
so far as I can see, not to imagine that they have any reference
to their religiaus notions or practices, or any thing that refailes
to the worwlp of God I remember I once conmlted a veiy
ancient, but mtelligent Indian upon this point, for my own
satisfaction ; and asked him, whether the Indians of old times
had sppposed there was any thing of the man that woidd suT"
vivethebodvT He replied, * Yes.^ I asked him, where he sup-
poMd its abode would be T He replied, ^ It would go south-
ward/ I asked him further, whether it would be happy diere f
He answered, afler a considerable pause, * that the soub aS
rood folks would be happy, and the souls of bad folks misera-
Ue.^ I then asked him, whom he called bad folks f His an-
swer, as I remember, was, ^ Those who lie, steal, quarrel with
their neighbours, are unkind to their fHends, and especially to
aged parents, and, in a word, such as are a plague to man*
kmd.^ These were his had folks ; but not a word was said
about their neglect of divine worship, and their badness in
that respect.
" They have indeed some kind of religious worship, are fre-
quently offering sacrifices to some supposed invisible powers,
and are very ready to impute their calamities in the present
world, to the negiect of these sacrifices ; but there is no ap-
pearance of reverence and devotion in the homage which they
pay them ; and what they do of this nature, seems to be done
only to appease the supposed anger of their deities, to engage
them to be placable to themselves, and do them no hurt, or at
most, only to invite these powers to succeed them in those en-
terprises they are engaged in respecting ihe present life. So
that in offering these sacrifices, they seem to have no reference
to a future state, but only to present comfort. This is the ac-
count my interpreter always gives me of this matter. * They
sacrifice,^ says he, ' that they may have success in hunting and
other affairs, and that sickness and other calamities may not
befall them, which they fear in the present world, in case of
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. [ 333
neglect ; but they do not suppose God will ever punish them in
the coming world for neglecting to sacrifice.' Indeed they
seem to imagine, that those whom they call bad folksy are ex-
cluded fi'om the company of good people in that state, not so
much because God remembers, and is determined to punish
them for their sins of any kind, either immediately against him-
self or their neighbour, as because they would be b. plague to
society, and would render others unhappy if admitted to dwell
with them. So that they are excluded rather o{ necessity^ than
by God acting as a righteous judge,
" They give much heed to dreams^ because they suppose
these invisible powers give them directions at such times about
certain affairs, and sometimes inform them what animal they
would choose to be worshipped in. They are likewise much
attached to the traditions and fabulous notions of their fathers ;
who have informed them of divers miracles that were anciently
wrought among the Indians, which they firmly believe, and
thence look upon their ancestors to have been the best of men.
They also mention some wonderful things which, they say,
have happened since the memory of some who are now living.
One I remember affirmed to me, that himself had once been
dead four days ; that most of his friends in that time were gath-
ered together to his funeral, and that he should have been bu-
ried, but that some of his relations at a great distance, who
were sent for upon that occasion, were not arrived ; before
whose coming he came to life again. In this time, he says, he
went to the place where the sun rises ; imagining the earth to
be a plain ; and directly over that place, at a great height in
the air, he was admitted, he says, into a great house, which he
supposes was several miles in lengthy and saw many wonderful
thmgs, too tedious as well as ridiculous to mention. Another
Eerson, a woman, whom 1 have not seen, but of whom i have
een credibly informed by the Indians, declares that she was
dead several days, that her soul went southward^ and feasted
and danced with the happy spirits, and that she found all
things exactly agreeable to the Indian notions if a future state.
To these superstitious notions and traditions, land to this ridi-
culous worship thej^ are extremely atjtached ; and the prejudice
which they have imbibed in favour of these things, renders
them not a little averse to the doctrines of Christianity. Some
of them have told me, when I have endeavoured to instruct
them, ^^ that their fathers had taught them already, and that
they did not want to learn now."
"It will be too tedious to give any considerable account of
the methods I make use of for surmounting this difficulty. I
will just say, I endeavour, as much as possible, to show them
the inconsistency of their own notions, and so to confound
thejn out of their own mouths. I must also say, I have some-
334 MEMOIRS or brainerd.
times been almost nonplussed with them, and scarcely kneur
what to answer them ; but never have been more perplexed
with them, than when they have pretended to yield to me as
knowing more than they, and consequently have asked me
numbers of impertinent, and yet difficult questions, as, ^ How
the Indians came first into this part of the world, away from
all the white people, if what 1 said was true,^ viz. that the
same God made them who made us ? * How the Indians be-
came blacky if they had the same original parents with the
white people V And numbers more of the like nature. —
These things, I must say, have been not a little difficult and
discouraging, especially when withal some of the Indians have
appeared angry and malicious against Christianity.
"What further contributes to their aversion to Christianity is,
the influence which their powaws {conjurers or diviners) have
upon them. These are a sort of persons who are supposed to
have a power o{ foretelling future events^ or recovering the sid^
at least oftentimes, and of charming^ enchanting^ or poisoning
persons to death by their mogtc divinations. Their spirit, in its
various operations, seems to be a Satanical imitation of the
spirit of prophecy with which the church in early ages was fa-
voured. Some of these diviners are endowed with the spirit in
infancy ; — others in adult age. It seems not to depend upon
their own will, nor to be acquired by any endeavours of t^e
person who is the subject of it, although it is supposed to be
given to children sometimes in consequence of some meaner
which the parents use with them for that purpose ; one of vrtiich
is to make the child swallow a small living frog, after having
performed some superstitious rites and ceremonies upon it.
They are not under the influence of this spirit always alike, —
but it comes upon them at times. Those who are endowed
with it, are accounted singularly favoured. " I have laboured
to gain some acquaintance with this aflair of their conjuration^
and have for that end consulted and queried with the man
mentioned in my diary, May 9, who, since his conversion to
Christianity, has endeavoured to give me the best intelligence
he could of this matter. But it seems to be such a mystery of
iniquity^ that I cannot well understand it, and do not know
oftentimes what ideas to affix to the terms he makes use o£
So far as I can learn, he himself has not any clear notions of
the thing, now his spirit of divination is gone from him. How-
ever, the manner in which he says he obtained this spirit of
divination was this ; — he was admitted into the presence of a
great man^ who informed him, that he loved, pitied, and desired
to do him good. It was not in this world that he saw the
great man, but in a world above at a vast distance from this.
The great man he says, was clothed with the day ; yea, with
the brightest day he ever saw : a day of many years, yea, of
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 335
eyearlfusting continuance ! this whole world, he says, was drawn
upon him, so that in him, the earth, and all things in it, might
ba seen. I asked him, if rocks, mountains, and seas, were
drawn upon, or appeared in him ? He replied, that every thins
that was beautiful and lovely in the earth was upon him, and
might be seen by looking on him, as well as if one was on the
earth to take a view of them there. By the side of the great
man, he says, stood his shadow or spirit ; for he used (chichungy)
the word they commonly use to express that part of the man
which survives the body, which word properly signifies a shadow.
This shadow, he says, was as lovely as the man himself, and
filled all places^ and was most agreeable as well as wonderful
to him. — Here he says, he tarried some time, and was unspeak-
ably entertained and delighted with a view of the ^reat man,
of his shadow, or spirit, and of all things in him. What is most
of all astonishing, ne imagines all this to have passed before he
was born. He never had been he says, in this world at that
time. What confirms him in the belief of this, is, that the
gre$tt man told him, that he must come down to earth, be born
^ 9Wh a woman, meet with such and such things, and in par-
tlQUlart that he should once in his life be guilty of murder. At
tbuf be was displeased, and told the great man he would
never murder. But the great man replied, ^I have said it, and
it £|hall be so.^ Which has accordingly happened. At this time,
h^ says, the great man asked him wnat he would choose in life.
T^e replied, first to be a hunter^ and afterwards to be a powaw
W[ diviner. Whereupon the great man told him, he should
k^ve what he desired, and mat his shadow should go along
with him down to earth, and be with him for ever, .There
WaSf he says, all this time no words spoken between them*
The conference was not carried on by any human language,
Vut they had a kind of mental intelligence of each other^s
U^ouffhts, dispositions and proposals. After this, he says, he
saw uie great man no more ; but supposes he now came down
%(} earth to be born, but the spirit or shadow of the great man
9till attended him, and ever after continued to appear to him
io dreams and other ways, until he felt the power of God^s
word upon his heart ; since which it has entirely left him.
^^ The spirit, he says, used sometimes to direct him in dreams
to go to such a place and hunt, assuring him he should there
meet with success, which accordingly proved so. When he
had been there some time, the spirit would order him to another
place. So that he had success in hunting, according to the
fft^Bi man^s promise made to him at the tilne of his chosing
thid employment
*^ There were some times when this spirit came upon him in
a special manner, and he was full of what he saw in the great
man. Then, he says, he was all lights and not only light him-
336 MSMoots ov lAAinsn.
sel^ but it was liffht all araundr him, ao thathe oooU aee
through men, and anew the -thoughts of their hearts. Hiese
depths of SaUm I leave othera to fathom or to diYe into as
they please, and do not pretend, for my own part, to know
what ideas to affix to such terms, and cannot well ffuess what
conceptions of things these creatures have at these tUDSS
. when thev call themselves dU light. But my interpreter teOs
me, that ne heard one of them tell a certain Indian the seciet
thoughts of hi? heart, which he had never divulged. The case
was this : the Indian was bitten with a snake, and was in ex-
treme pain with the bite ; whereupon the ifjotner, who was
appliea to for his recoyerv, told him, that at gmch a time he had
promised, that, the next deer he killed, h» would sacrifice it to
some great power^ but had broken his promise. Now, said he;
that great power has ordered this snake to bite you for year
neglect The Indian confessed it was so, but sakl he had*
never told an^ body of it
^^ These thmffs serve to fix them down in their iddairy^ aol
to make them believe that there is no safety to be exMNCladt
but by their continuing to offer such sacrifices^ The inflweniBe
which these potcHROf have upon them,eith^ through the estean
or fear they nave of them, is no smaU hindrance to their em-
bracing Christianity.
^ ^ To remove this difficulty, I have laboured to show the In-
dians, that these diviners have no power to recover the sick,
when the God whom christians serve, has determined them
for death ; that the supposed great power who influences the
diviners has himself no power in this case ; and that, if they seem
to recover any by their magic charms^ they are only such as the
God I preached to them, had determined should recover, and
who would have recovered without their conjurations. When
I have apprehended them afraid of embracing Christianity lest
they should be enchanted and poisoned, I have endeavoured to
relieve their minds of this fear, by asking them, Why their po-
waw8 did not enchant and poison ihe, seeing they had as much
reason to hate me for preaching to them, and desiring them to
become christians, as tney could have to hate them in case they
should actually become such ? That they might have an evi-
dence of the power and goodness of God engaged for the pro-
tection of christians, I ventured to bid a challenge to all their
powaws and great powers to do their worst on me first of all,
and thus laboured to tread down their influence.
*^ Many things further might be offered up on this head, hot
thus much may suffice for a representation of their aversion to,
and prejudice against Christianity, the springs of it, and th^dif*
ficulties thence arising.
II. *^ Another ^reat difficulty which I have met with in my
attempts to christianize the Indians, has been, to convey didne
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 337
truths to their understandings^ and to gain their assent to them
as such.''
" In the first place, I laboured under a very great disadvan-
tage for want of an Interpreter, who had a good degree of rfoc-
trincd as well as experimental knowledge of divine things : in
both which respects my present Interpreter was very detective
when I first employed him, as noted in the account I before
gave of him. And it was sometimes extremely discouraging to
me, when I could not make him understand what I designed to
communicate ; when truths of the last importance appeared
foolishness to him for want of a spiritual understanding and
relish of them ; and when he addressed the Indians in a lifeless,
indifferent manner, without any heart-engagement or fervency ;
and especially when he appeared heartless and irresolute
about making attempts for the conversion of the Indians to
Christianity, as he frequently did. For although he had a de-
sire that they should conform to Christian manners, as 1 else-
where observed ; yet, being abundantly acquainted with their
strong attachment to their own superstitious notions, and the
diflSculty of bringing them off, and having no sense of divine
power and grace, nor dependence upon an Almighty arm for
the accomplishment of this work, he used to be discouraged,
and tell me, * It signifies nothing for us to try, they will never
turn.' Thus he was a distressing weight and burden to me.
Here I should have sunk scores of times, but God in a re-
markable manner supported me ; sometimes by giving me full
satisfaction that He himself had called me to this work, and
thence a secret hope that some time or other I might meet
with success in it ; or if not, that *• my judgment should not-
withstanding be with the Lord, and my work with my God ;'
sometimes by giving me a sense of his almighty power, and that
^ his hand was not shortened ;^ sometimes by affording me a
fresh and lively view of some remarkable freedom and assist-
ance with which I had been repeatedly favoured in prayer for
the ingathering of these heathens some years before, even be-
fore I was a missionary, and a refreshing sense of the stability
and faithfulness of the divine promises, and that the prayer of
faith should not fail. Thus I was supported under these trials,
and the method God was pleased to take for the removal of
this difficulty, respecting my Interpreter, I have sufilciently
represented elsewhere.
" Another thing which rendered it very difficult to convey di-
vine truths to the understandings of the Indians, was the defect
of their lansua^e^ the want of terms to express and convey
ideas of spiritual things. There are no words in the Indian
language to answer our English words, ' Lord, Saviour, salva-
tion, sinner, justice, condemnation, faith, repentance, justifica-
VoL. X. 43
^
»
tion, adoption, sanctification, grace, glory, heaven,' with scores
of the like imporlance.
, " Tlie only methoda I can make use for surmounting this
difficulty, are, either to describe the things at large designed
by these terms, as if 1 was speaking of regeneration, to call it
the ' heart's being changed' by God's Spirit, or the ' heart's
being made good ;' or to introduce the English terms into their
language, and fix the precise meaning of them, that they may
know what I intend whenever I use them.
" What renders it much more difficult to convey divine truths
to the understandings of these Indians, is, that ' there scemii to
ho no foundation in their minds to begin upon ;' I mean, no
truths which may betaken for granted, as being already knows
while I am attempting to instil others. As divine truths have
such a necessary connexion with, and dependence upon each
other, I find it extremely difhcult in my first addresses to Pa-
gans, to begin and discourse of them in their proper order and
connexion, without having reference to truths not yet known, —
without taking for granted such things as need hrst to be taught
and proved. There is no point of Christian doctrine but what
they are either wholly ignorant of, or extremely confused in
theu- notions about. Therefore it is necessair that they should
be instructed in every truth, even in those which are the most
easy and obvious to the understanding, and which a person
educated nndcr gospel-light would be ready to pass over in si-
lence, as not imagining that any rational creature could be ig-
norant of.
" The method which I have usually taken in my first ad-
dresses to Pagans, has been to introduce myself by saying, that
I was come among them with a desire and design of teaching
them some things which I presumed they did not know, and
which, I trusted, would be for their comfort and happiness, if
known, desiring they would give their attention, and hoping
they might meet with satisfaction in my discourse. Thence I
have proceeded to observe, that there are two things belonging
to every man, which I call the sotil and bodi/. These I endea-
vour to distinguish from each other, by observing to them, that
there is something in them that is capable of joy and pleasure,
when their bodies are sick and much pained ; and, on the con-
trary, that they find something within them, that is fearful, sor-
rowful, ashamed, &c. and consequently very uneasy, when their
bodies are in perfect health. 1 then observed to them, that thia
which rejoices in them, perhaps at the sight of some friend who
has been so long absent, when their bodies are sick and in
pain, — this which is sorrowful, frighted, ashamed, &c. and
consequently uneasy, when their bodies are perfectly at ease, —
this I call the soul. And although it cannot be seen like the
other part of the man, viz. the body, yet it is as real as their
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 339
thoughts, desires, &c. which are likewise things that cannot be
seen,
" I then further observe, that this part of the man which
thinks, rejoices, grieves, &c. will hve after the body is dead.
For the proof of this, I produce the opinion of their fathers,
who, as I am told by a very aged Indian now living, always
supposed that there was something of the man which would
survive the body. If I can, for the proof of any thing I assert,
say, as St Paul to the Athenians, ' As certain also of your
own sages havie said,' it is sufficient. Having established this
point, I next observe, that what I have to say to them, respects
the conscious part of the man ; and that with relation to its
state after the death of the body ; and that I am not come
to treat with them about the things that concern the present
world.
" This method I am obliged to take, because they will other-
wise entirely mistake the design of my preaching, and sup-
pose that the business I am upon, is something which relates
to the present world ; having never been called together by
the white people upon any other occasion, but only to be treat-
ed with about the sale of lands, or some other secular busi-
ness. I find it almost impossible to prevent their imagining
that I am engaged in the same, or such like affairs, and to beat
it into them, that my concern is to treat with them about their
invisible part, and that with relation to its future state.
" But having thus opened the way, by distinguishing between
soul and body, and showing the immortality of the former, and
that my business is to treat with them in order to their happi-
ness in a future state ; I proceed to discourse of the Being and
Perfections of God, particularly of his ' eternity, unity, self-
sumciency, infinite wisdom, and almighty power.' It is ne-
cessary, in the first place, to teach them that God is from ever-
lasting^ and so distinguished from all creatures ; though it is
very difficult to communicate any thing of that nature to them,
they having no terms in their language to signify an eternity a
parte ante. It is likewise necessary to discourse of the divine
unity ^ in order to confute the notions they seem to have of a
plurality of gods. The divine alUsufficiency must also neces-
sarily be mentioned, in order to prevent their imagining that
God was unhappy while alone, before the formation of his crea-
tures. Something respecting the divine wisdom arid power
seems necessary to be insisted upon, in order to make way for
discoursing of God's works.
" Having offered some things upon the divine perfections
mentioned, I proceed to open dhie work of Creation in general,
and in particular God's creation of man in a state of uprights
ness and happiness, placing them in a garden of pleasure ; the
means and manner of their apostacy from that state, and loss
340 MEMOIRS or BRAIMKMD.
of that happiness. Before I can give a relation of their fidi
from God, I am obliged to make a large digreflrion, m order to
give an account of ue orifpnal and circomstanees of their fm-
per^ his capacity of assuming the shrae of a serpent, from hit
oeing a spirit without a body^dus. Hence I go on to show, dn
mm of OUT fallen state, the mental blindness and vicious fG»>
positions which our first parents then contracted to themselviss,
and propagated to all their posterity ; the numerous calamities
brmi^t upon them and theirs by tms apostacy from God IfoA
the ezposedness of the whole human race to eternal peiditicm.
Hence I labour to show them the necessity of an Ahngkiw fib-
viour to deliver us firom this deplorable state, as well as of a di-
vine Recdaiion to instruct us in, and direct us agreeable te the
wiU of God.
*^ Thus the way, by such an introductory discourse, is pre*
pared for opening the gospel scheme of salvation through the
great Redeemer, and for treating of diose doctrines which im^
mediately relate to the soul^ renovation by the divine SpoSt,
and preparation for a state of everlasting messedneas.
** in ^ving such a relauon of thin|;s to Pagans, it is note
little difficult, as observed before, to deliver truths in their pfo-
per order without interfering, and without takin|[ for mranled
things not as vet known ; to discourse of them ma fimiliar
inanner, suited to the capacities of heatheo; to illustrate thm
by easy and natural similitudes ; to obviate or answer the ob-
jections which they are disposed to make against the several
particulars of it ; as well as to take notice of, and confute their
contrary notions.
" What has sometimes been very discouraging in my first
discourses to them, is, that when 1 have distinguished between
the present and /ti^iire state, and shown them that it was my
busmess to treat of those things which concern the life to come,
they have mocked, and looked upon these things of no import-
ance ; have scarce had a curiosity to hear ; and perhaps walk-
ed off before I had half done my discoui^e. In such a case, no
impressions can be made upon their miiids to gain their atten-
tion. They are not awed by hearing of the anger of God en-
gaged against sinners, or of everlasting punishment as the por-
tion of gospel-neglecters. They are not allured by hearing of
the blessedness of those who embrace and obey the gospel.
So that to gain their attention to my discourses, has often been
as difficult as to give them a just notion of the design of them,
or to open truths in their proper order.
** Another difficulty, naturally falling under the head I am
now upon, is, that ^ it is next to impossible to bring them to a
rational conviction that they are sinners by nature, and that
tiieir hearts are corrupt anci sinful,^ unless one could charge
them with some gross acts of immorality, such as the light of
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 341
fMhire condemns. If they can be charged with behaviour con-
trary to the commands of the second table^ — with manifest
abuses of their neighbour, they will generally own such actions
to be wrong ; but then they seem as if they thought only the
actions were sinful, and not their hearts. 6ut if they cannot
be charged with suj:h scandalous actions, they seem to have
no consciousness of sin and guilt at all, as I had occasion to
observe in my Diary, March 24. So that it is very difficult to
convince them rationally of that which is readily acknowledged,
thoush, alas ! rarely felt, in the Christian world, viz. ' That we
are all sinners.^
" The method which I take to convince them that * we are
sinners by nature,^ is, to lead them to an observation of their
little children^ how they will appear in a rage, fight and strike
their mothers, before they are able to speak or walk, while they
are so young that it is plain they are incapable of learning such
practices. As the light of nature in the Indians condemns such
Dehaviour in children towards their parents, they must own
these tempers and actions to be wrong and sinful. As the
children have never learned these things, they must have been
in their natures ; and consequently they must be allowed to be
**by nature the children of wrath." The same I observe to
them with respect to the sin of lying, to which their children
seem much inclined. They tell lies without being taught so
to do, from their own natural inclination, as well as against
restraints, and after corrections for that vice, which proves them
sinners by nature.
" Furtner ; in order to show them that th^ir hearts are all
corrupted and sinful, I observe to them, that this may be the
case, and they not be sensible of it through the blindness of
their minds ; and that it is no evidence that they are not sinful,
because they do not know and feel it. 1 then mention all the
vices I know the Indians to be guilty of, and so make use of
these sinful streams to convince them that the fountain is cor-
rupt. Thii^ is the end for which I mention their wicked prac-
i ices to them ; not because I expect to b;'ing them to an effeC"
tual reformation merely by inveighing against their immorali*
ties ; but hoping that they may hereby be convinced of the
corruption of their hearts, and awakened to a sense of the de-
pravity and misery of their fallen state.
" For the same purpose, viz. \ to convince them that they
are sinners,' I sometimes open to them the great command
of * loving God with all the heart, strength, and mind ;' show
them the reasonableness of loving Him who has made, pre-
served, and dealt bountifully with us ; and then labour to show
them that they have utterly neglected this duty, and that they
have been so far from loving God in this manner, that, on the
contrary, he has not been ^ in all their thoughts.^
342 XEKOIRS OF BBAINKftD/
^ Sdch are the means which I have mlEide use of to remofe
this difficulty ; but if it be asked after all, ^ How tt was sur-
mounted ?^ 1 must answer, God himself was pleased to do k
with regard ta a. number of these Indians, by taking his woA •
into his own hand, and making them feel at heart, that they
were both sinful and miserable. In the day of God^s poirait
whatever was spoken to them from God^s word, served to cn^
vince them that they were sinners ; even the most meltn^ in- *
vitations of the ffospel ; and to fill them with solicitude to obtaii
a deliverance from that deplorable state.
*^ Further ; it is extremely difficult to ffive them any just nOr
tion of the undertaking of Christ in behalf of sinners ; dim
obeying and suffering in their room and stead, in order to atenft
for their sins, and procure their salvation ; and of their bdqg
justified by his righteousness imputed to them. — ^They are in gs»
neral wholly unacquainted wiuicioUlaws and {Nroceedingv^wi
know of no such thing as one person being substituted as M'
surety in the room of another, nor have any kind of notion of efajl
judicatures, of persons being arraigned, tried, judged, coodemaH
ed, or acquitted. Hence it is very difficult to treat withthw
upon any thing of this nature, or that bean any relation to l^gtft
procedures. Although they cannot but have som^ dealiip
with the white people, in order to procure clothing and otnit
necessaries of life, yet it is scarce ever known that any one pa|i
a jp^ftnjr for another, but each one stands for himsel£ • Y^t. tb>
is a thing which may be supposed, though seldom practised
among them, and they may be made to understand, that if a
friend of theirs pay a debt for them, it is right that upon that
consideration they themselves should be discharged.
^^ This is the only way I can take in order to give them a
E roper notion of the undertaking and satisfaction of Christ in
ehalf of sinners. But here naturally arise two questions.
Firsts *' What need there was of Christ^s obeying and sufiering
for us ; why God would not look upon us to be good creatures^
to use my common phrase for justification, on account of our
own good deeds V In answer to which I sometimes observe,
that a child being never so orderly and obedient to its parents
to-day, does by no means satisfy for its contrary behaviour yester-
day ; and that if it be loving and obedient at some times only,
and at other times cross and disobedient, it never can be look-
ed upon a good child for its own doings, since it ought to have
behaved in an obedient manner always. This simile strikes
their minds in an easy and forcible manner, and serves, in a
measure, to illustrate the point. For the light of nature, as be-
fore hinted, teaches them, that their children ought to be obe-
dient to them, and that at all times ; and some of them are
very severe with them for the contrary behaviour. This I ap-
ply in the plainest manner to our behaviour towards God ; and
MBMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 343
SO show them, that it is impossible for us, since we have sin-
ned against God, to be justified before him by our own doings,
since present and future goodness, although perfect and coti"
slants could never satisfy for past misconduct.
" A second question is, ' If our debt was so great, and if we
all deserved to suffer, how one person's suffering was sufficient
to answer for the whole V Here 1 have no better way to illus-
trate the infinite value of Christ's obedience and sufferings,
arising from the dignity and excellency of his person^ than to
show them the superior value of gold to that of baser metals,
and that a small quantity of this will discharge a greater debt,
than a vast quantity of the common copper pence. After all, it is
extremely difficult to treat with them upon this great doctrine of
* justification by imputed righteousness/ I scarce know how
to conclude this head, so many things occurring which might
properly be added here; but what has been mentioned, may
iterve for a specimen of the difficulty of conveying divine truths
to the understandings of these Indians, and oi gaming their as-
sent to them as such.
III. ** Their intonvenient situations^ savage manners^ and UU"
happy method of livings have been an unspeakable difficulty
and discouragement to me in my work. — They generally live
in the wilderness, and some whom I have visited, at great dis-
tances firom the English settlements. This has obliged me to
travel much, oftentimes over hideous rocks, mountains, and
swamps, and fi'equently to lie out in the open woods ; which
deprived me of the common comforts of life, and greatly im-
paired my health.
" When I have got among them in the wilderness, I have
often met with great difficulty in my attempts to discourse to
th^m. — I have sometimes spent hours with them in attempting
to answer their objections, and remove their jealousies, before
I could prevail upon them to give me a hearing upon Chris-
tiaoitv. I have been often obliged to preach in their houses
in coid and windy weather, when they have been full of smoke
and cinders, as well as unspeakably filthy ; which has many
times thrown me into violent sick head-achs.
** While I have been preaching, their children have frequent-
ly cried to such a degree, that I could scarcely be heard, and
meir Pagan mothers would take no manner of care to nuiet
theoL At the same time, perhaps, some have been laughing
and mocking at divine truths ; others playing with their dogs,
wfaittleing sticks, and the like ; and this, in many of them, not
from spite and prejudice, but for want of better manners.
^ A view of these things has been not a little sinking and dis-
couraging to me. It has sometimes so far prevailed upon mc
as to render me entirely dispirited, and wholly unable to go on
with my work ; and given me such a melancholy turn of mind.
3M MUOiBS or •KAiKiap.
that I have mtnjr times thought I could never more ftddnatn
Indian apon religioui matten.
" The Bolitaiy manner in which I have generally beea
obliged to live, on account of their inconvenient utoatUKit In
been not a little preasins. I have spent the sreater part of ,
my time, for more than uiree years past, entirdy alone, as to
any agreeable society ; and a very considerable part, of it m
bouses by myself, without having the company.Of aiwtuuDaa
creature. Sometimes I have scarcely seen an EngUMman Jbr
a month or six weeks together ; and have had my sphita so
depressed with melancholy views of the tempers wid conduct
of Pagans, when t have been for sometime c<aifined witfi Ihsm,
that I nave felt as if banidbed from all the peofde of God.
" I have likewise been wholly alone in my wotk, then bdng
no other mitntmary among the Indians in eiUier of thoejMO-
vinces. Other mmuf «r», nether knowing the pectdiar difficid-
ties nor most adoantageout methods (^ peifiinning my wotk! '
have been ^le to afford me little assistance or support in anf -
respect — A feeling of the great disadvantages of being alone
in mis work, has discovered to me the wisdom and goodness of
the great Head of the church, in sending forth his disciples two '
aid two, in order to proclum the sacred mysteries of nig king-
dom ; and has made me long for a colleague to be a partner of
my cares, hopes, and fears, as well as Iwonrs among the In-
dians; and excited me to use some means in order to procure
■nch an assistant, although I have not as yet been so happy as
to meet with success in that respect.
" I have not only met with great difficulty in traveOiDg to,
and for some time residing among, the Indians far remote in
the wilderness, but also in living with them, in one place and
another, more statedly. I have been obliged to remove my re-
sidence from place to place ; having procured, and afler some
poor fashion, furnished three houses for living among tbenii in
the space of about three years past. One at Kaunatimed,
about twenty miles distant &om the city of Albany; one at
the Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania, and one at Cro$t-
wpehsung, in New-Jersey. The Indians in the latter of these
Provinces, with whom I have latterly spent most of my time,
eing not long since removed from the place where they lived
last winter ; (the reason of which I mentioned in my Diar;,
March 24, and May 4 ;) have now no house at all of my own,
but am obliged to lodge with an English family at a confdd&
rable distance from them, to tlie great disadvantage of my
work among them ; they being like children that continually
need advice and direction, as well as ini^tement to their nc^ld?
business. — The houses in which I have formerly lived are tX
great distances from each other ; the two nearest of them being
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 345
more than seventy miles apart, and neither of them within fif-
teen miles of the place where the Indians now live.
" The Indians are a very poor and indigent people, and so
destitute of the comforts of life, at some seasons of the year es-
pecially, that it is impossible for a person who has any pity on
them, and concern for the christian interest, to live among
them without considerable expense, especially in time of sick-
ness. If any thing be bestowed on one, as in some cases it is
peculiarly necessary, in order to remove their Pagan jealousies,
and engage their friendship to Christianity, others, be there
never so many of them, expect the same treatment. While
thejr retain their Pagan tempers, they discover little gratitude,
amid all the kindnesses which they receive. If they make any
presents, they expect double satisfaction. Christianity itself
does not at once cure them of these ungrateful tempers.
" They are in general unspeakably indolent and slothful. —
They have been bred up in idleness, and know little about cul-
tivating land, or indeed about engaging vigorously in any other
business. I am obliged to instruct them m, as well as press
them to, the performance of their work, and take the oversight
of all their secular business. They have little or no ambition
or resolution. . Not one in a thousand of them has the spirit
of a man. It is next to impossible to make them sensible of
the duty and importance of being active, diligent, and industri-
ous in the management of their worldly business ; and to ex-
cite in them any spirit and promptitude of that nature. When
I have laboured, to the utmost of my ability, to show them of
what importance it would be to the christian interest among
them, as well as to their worldly comfort, for them to be labo-
rious and prudent in their business, and to furnish themselves
with the comforts of life ; how this would incline the Pasans to
come among them, and so put them under the means of salva-
tion ; — ^how it would encourage religious persons of the white
people to help them, as well as to stop the mouths of others,
who are disposed to cavil against them, and how they miffht
by this means pay others their just dues, and so prevent trouble
from coming among themselves, and reproach upon their chris-
tian profession; — they have indeed assented to all 1 said,
but been little moved^ and consequently have acted like them-
selves, or at least too much so. Though it must be acknow-
ledged, that those who appear to have a sense of divine things,
are considerably amended in this respect, and it is to be hoped,
that time will make a yet greater alteration upon them for the
better.
" The concern I have had for the settling of these Indians in
New Jersey, in a compact form, in order to their being a chris-
tian congregation, in a capacity of enjoying the means of
grace ; the care of managing their worldly business in order to
Vol. X. 44
V
346 M£MOiRS or brainsrd.
this.end^ and to their having a comfortable livelihood ; have
been more pressing to my mind, and cost me more labour and
fatigue, for several months past, than all my other work among
them,
^^ Their ^ wandering to and fro in order to procure the ne-
cessaries of life,* is another difficulty which attends my woriL
This has often deprived me of opportunities to disconme to
them. It has thrown them in the way c^ temptation ; eifher
amonff Pagans further remote where they have gone to hmt,
who have laughed at them for hearkening to CSuistiamty ; or,
among white people, more horribly wicked, who have often
made them drunk ; then got their commodities — such as sUni,
baskets, Inrooms, shovels, and the like, with which Uiey de-
signed to have bought com, and other necessanes of life, fa
themselves and families, — for, it may be, nothingbirt a lilde
strong liquor ; and then sent them home empty. Tor the la-
bour, perhaps, of several weeks, they have thus got notfauog
but the satisfaction of bein|; drunk once ; and have hot oid^
lost their labour, but, which is infinitely worse, the ini|iranobB
of some divine subjects that were made upon their noiikb be^
fae. — ^But I forbear enlarging upon this head. The few lunts
I have given maybe sufficient to give thinking. penoEm soane
apprehensions of the difficulties attending mywcm, on acoount
• of the inconvenient situations and sancLge mannim of the In-
dians, as well as of their unhappy mode ofUoing*
IV. *^ The last difficulty I shall mention, as having att^iided
my work, is, ^ what has proceeded from the attempts which
some illrminded persons have designedly made^ to hinder the
propagation of the gospel, and a work of divine grace among
the Indians.^ — The Indians are not only of themselves preju-
diced against Christians, on the various accounts which 1 have
already mentioned ; but, as if this were not enough, there are
some m all parts of the country where I have preached to
them, who have taken pains industriously to bind them down
in pagan darkness ; ^ neglecting to enter into the kingdom of
God themselves, and labouring to hinder others/
^^ After the beginning of the religious attention amon^ the
Indians in New-Jersey, some endeavoured to prejudice mem
against me and the truths I taught them, b]^ the most bi^e, un-
manly, and false suggestions of things which had no founda-
tion but in their own brains. Some particulars of this kind I
formerly took notice of in one of the remarks made upon my
Diary, concluded the 20th of November last ; and might have
added more, and of another nature, had not delicacy forbid-
den me to mention what was too obscene. But, through the
mercy of God, they were never able, by all their abonunable
insinuations, flouting jeers, and downright lies, to create in the
Indians those jealousies with which they desired to posses them ;
M£MOIRS OF BRA1N£RD. 347
and so were never suffered to hinder the work of grace among
them. — When they saw that they could not prejudice the In-
dians against me, nor hinder them from receiving the gospel^
they then noised it through the country, ' that I was undoubt-
edly a Roman catholic ; that I was gathering together, and
traming up the Indians in order to serve a Popish interest ;
. aod that I should quickly head them, and cut peopie^s throats/
" What they pretended gave them reason for this opinion,
was, that they understood I had a commission from Scotland.
Whereupon they could with great assurance say, * All Scotland
19 turned to the Pretender ; and this is but a Popish plot to
. make a party for him here.^ Some, I am informed, actually
went to the civil authority with complaints a^^ainst me ; but
: cinly laboured under this unhappiness, that when they came,
they had nothing to complain of, and could give no colour of
. .fctason why they attempted any such thing, or desired the civil
;_- authority to take cognizance of me, having not a word to al-
/ l^ge against my preaching or practice^ only they surmised that
^ because the Indians appeared so very loving and orderly^ they
had a design of imposing upon people by that means, and so of
' getting a better advantage to cut their throats. With what
"ifimper they would have had the Indians appear, in order to have
r'ven no occasion^ nor have left any room for such a suspicion,
cannot tell. I presume if they had appeared with the con-
.Hl»wry temper, it would quickly have been observed of them,
that ' they were now grown surly,' and in all probability were
_^ preparing to 'cut people's throats.' — From a view of these
, things, I have had occasion to admire the wisdom and goodness
. . of God in providing so full and authentic a commission for the
'. undertaking and carrying on of this work, without which, not-
' withstanding the charitableness of the design, it had probably
met with molestation.
.:.. "The Indians, who have been my hearers in New-Jersey^
'. -have likewise been sued for debt, and threatened with imprisoii-
ment more since 1 came among them, as they inform me, than
io seven years before. The reason of this, I suppose, was, they
. left frequenting those tippling houses where they used to con-
smne most of what they gained by hunting and other means.
.; These persons, seeing that the hope of future gain was lost,
were resolved to make sure of what they could. Perhaps some
. of them put the Indians to trouble, purely out of spite at their
.' embracing Christianity.
-. " This conduct of theirs has been very distressing to me ; for
. I was sensible, that if they did imprison any one that embraced,
or hearkened to Christianity, the news of it would quickly
(spread among the Pagans, hundreds of miles distant, who
would immediately conclude that I had involved them in thi§
difficulty, and thence be filled with prejudice against Christianf-
l:.
348 MEMOIRS or BRAIMXaO.
tv, and strengthened in their jealousy, that the whole of my
design among, them, was to ensnare and enslave them. I
knew that some or the Indians upon Susquehannah had made
this objection against hearing me preach, m. That they under-
stood that a number of Inaians in Maryland, some hundreds
of miles distant, who had been uncommonly free with the
English, were after a while put in jail, and sold. Whereupon
they concluded, it was best for them to keep at a distance, and
have nothing to do with Christians. The method I took in
order to remove this difficulty, was, to press the Indians with all
posrible speed to pay their aebu , and to exhort those of them
that had 9lm» or money ^ and were themselves in good measure
fiee of debt, to help oUiers that were oppressed. Frequently
upon such occasions I have jmid money out of my own pock^
wnich I have not as yet received again.
*^ These are some of the difficulties which I have met with from
the conduct of lAo«e who, notwithstanding their acticms so mixh
tend to hinder the propagation of Christianity, would, I suppose
be loth to be reputed Pagans. Thus I have endeavoured to nsh
sweV tiie demands of the Hon. Society in relation to eocft of the
particulars mentioned in their leiier. — If ykhsX I have writleD
may be in any measure agreeable and satis&ctory to them, and
serve to excite in them, or any of God^s people, a spirit ofjprajr*
er and supplication for the furtherance ofa work of grace among
the Indians Aere, and the propagating of it to their distant tribes
I shsJl have abundant reason to rejoice, and bless God in this
as well as in other respects/^
" DAVID BRAINERD."
" June 20, 1746.
P. S. " Since the conclusion of the preceding Journal —
which was designed to represent the operations of one year only,
from the first time of my preaching to the Indians in New- Jersey
— I administered the sacrament of the hordes Supper^ a secona
time in my congregation, viz. on the 13th of July. At this
time there were more than thirty communicants of the Indians,
although divers were absent who should have communicated ;
so considerably has God enlarged our number since the former
solemnity of this kind, described somewhat particularly in my
Diary. This appeared to be a season of divine power and
grace, not unlike the former ; a season of refreshing to God's
people in general, and of awakening to some others ; althou^
the divine influence manifestly attending the several services of
the solemnity, seemed not so great and powerful as at the
former season.
" D. BRAINERD."
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 349
SECTION IV.
Attestations of Divine Grace displayed among the Indians,
FIRST ATTESTATION.
^^ Since my dear and Rev. brother Brainerd, has at length con-
sented to the publication of his Journal, I gladly embrace this
opportunity of testifying, that our altogether glorious Lord and
Saviour, Jesus Christ, has given such sl display of his Almighty
Eower and sovereign grace, not only in the external reformation
ut, [in a judgment of charity,] the saving conversion of a con-
siderable number of Indians, mat it is really wonderful to all
beholders I though some, alas ! notwithstanding sufficient
grounds of conviction to the contrary, do Join with the devil,
that avowed enemy of God and man, m endeavouring to
prevent this glorious work, by such ways and means as are men-
tioned in the aforesaid Journal, to which I must refer the reader
for a faithful, though very brief, account of the time when, the
place where, the means by which, and manner how, this wish-
ed for work has been begun and carried on, by the great Head
of the Church. This 1 can the more confidently do, not only be-
cause I am intimately acquainted with the author, but on ac-
count of my own personal knowledge of the matters of fact re-
corded in it respecting the work itself. As I live not far from
the Indians, I have been much conversant with them, both at
their own place, and in my own parish, where they generally
convene for public worship in Mr. Brainerd's absei\ce ; and
I think it my duty to acknowledge, that their conversation,
hath often, under God, refreshed my soul,
" To conclude, it is my opinion, that the change wrought in
those savages^ namely, from the darkness of Paganism, to the
knowledge of the pure gospel of Christ ; from sacrificing to de-
vils, to ' present themselves, body and soul, a living sacrifice to
God,' and that not only from the persuasion of their minister^
but from a clear heart-affecting sense of its being their reasona-
ble service ; this change I say is so great, that none could ef-
fect it but He ' who worketh all things after the good pleasure
of his own will.' I would humbly hope that this is only the
first fi'uits of a much greater harvest to be brought in from among
the Indians, by HIM, who has promised to give his Son ' the
Heathen for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth
for his possession :' — who hath also declared, ' That the whole
earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the Lord, as the
waters cover the sea.' Even so. Lord Jesus, come quickly.
Amen and Amen.
" I am, courteous reader,
" thy soul's well wisher,
Freehold, August 16, 1746. " WILLIAM TENNENT.'*
" —
350 ' M4«OUl8 er BEAIVC&D*
SECOND ATTESTATION.
*^ As iftmuAt needs afford a sacred pleasure to such ascoidialljr
desii'e the prosperity and advancement of the Redeemer's Idng-
dom and interest in the world, to hear, that our mercifiil and
gracious God is in very deed fulfilling such preciona promiseB
as relate to die poor Heathen, bj sending h» everlastiiiff ms-
pel among them, which, with concurrence of his hoIySpnity if
removing mat worse than Egyptian darkness, wfaerebjr toe god
of lliis world has long held them in willing subjection ; so tfaii
narrative will perhaos be more acceptable to the w<M*ld, wbem
it is confirmed by tne testimony of such as vrere either m-
witnesses of this glorious dawn of gospel-li|^t among the ne-
nighted Pagans, or personally acquainted vnth those of them,
in whom, in a judgment of charity, a gracious change has been
wrought Therefore, I the more willingly join with my brethren
Mr. William Tennent, and Mr. Brainerd, inaflixmg mv at-
testation to the fbresoing narrative ; and look upon myself as
concerned in point of duty^both to God and his people, to do
so, because I live contiguous to their settlement, Btad have had
frequent opportunities of being present at their religiooa meet-
ings ; where I have with pleasmg wonder, bieheld what* I am
strongly inclined to believe were the effects of God*s Ahni|di-
ty power accompanying his own truths ; more aspecicJ^^on ue
^th day of August, 1745. While the word of God was macb-
ed by Mr. Brainerd, there appeared an uncommon solenmity
among the Indians in general ; but, I am wholly unable to give
a full representation of the surprising effects of God^s Almighty
power which appeared among them when public service was
over. While Mr. Brainerd urged upon some of them the ab-
solute necessity of a speedy closure with Christ, the holy Spirit
seemed to be poured out upon them in a* plenteous measure,
insomuch as the Indians present in the wigwam seemed to be
brought to the jailor^s case, Acts xvi. 30, utterly unable to con-
ceal the distress and perplexity of their souls. This prompted
the pious among them to bring the dispersed congregation to-
gether, who soon seemed to be in the greatest extremity. Some
were earnestly begging for mercy, under a solemn sense of their
perishing condition ; while others were unable to arise from the
earth, to the great wonder of those white people that were pre-
sent, one of whom is by this means, I trust, savingly brought to
Christ since. Nay, so very extraordinary was the concern which
appeared among these poor Indians in general, that I am ready
to conclude, it might have been sufficient to have convinced an
Atheist, that the Lord was indeed in the place. I am for my
part, fully persuaed that this glorious work is true and genuine,
while with satisfaction I behold several of these Indians disco-
vering all the symptoms ofimvard holiness in their lives and con*
-J
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 351
versation. 1 had the satisfaction of joining with them in their
service on the 11th of August, 1746 : which was a day set apart
for imploring the divine blessing on the labours of their minis-
ter among other tribes of Indians on the Susquehannah : in all
which they conducted themselves with a very decent and be-
coming gravity ; and as far as I am capable of judging, they
may be proposed as examples of piety and godliness, to all the
white people around them, which indeed is justly, * marvellous
in our eyes,' especially considering what they lately had been.
Oh may the glorious God shortly bring about that desirable
time, when our exalted Immanuel shall have the Heathen given
for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for his
possession !''
" CHARLES MACNIGHT."
^^Crosswicks^t August 20, 1746.
THIRD ATTESTATION.
" We whose names are underwritten, being elders and dea-
cons of the Presbyterian Church in Freehold, do hereby testify,
that in our humble opinion, God, even our Saviour, has brought
a considerable number of the Indians in these parts to a saving
union with himself. Of this we are persuaded from a personal
acquaintance with them ; whom we not only hear speak of the
great doctrines of the gospel with humility, affection, and un-
derstandings but we see walk, as far as man can judge, soberly,
righteously, and godly. We have joined with them at the
Lord's supper, and do from our hearts esteem them as our bre-
thren in Jesus. For these who were not God's people^ may
now be called the children of the living God ; it is the Lord^s
doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.'' Oh that he may go
on *' conquering and to conquer,' until he has subdued all
things to himself ! This is and shall be the unfeigned desire
and prayer of,
*
" Walter Ker, \ " William Ker, \
" Robert Cummins, Ik- " Samuel Ker, I tl
" David Rhe, ( g " Samuel Craig, f §
" John Henderson, [ ^ i §
*' John Anderson, ] ^ \ ^
"Joseph Ker, / /
Presbyterian Churchy Freehold^ Aug. 16, 1746.
CHAPTER XL
Frcm the close of his Journal^ June 19, 1746, to the tenmnaiioH
of his Missionary Labours^ March 30, 1747*
Thb hardships which Brainerd had endured, had now obvH
ously affected his constitution ; and unfitted him for ai life of so
much toil and exposure. Of this, he appears not to have been
aware, until the case had become hopeless ; and nnfortanatdy,
the circumstances, in which he was placed, were calculated
instead of retarding, td hasten the ravages of disease. He lived
alone, in the midst of a wilderness ; in a miserable hut, buih
bj Indians ; with few of the necessaries, and none of die com-
forts of life ; at a distance from civilized society ; without even
a nurse or a physician. ' His labours, also, were sufficient to
have impaired a vigorous constitution. It is not surprising,
therefore, that his health was gradually, but fiitally under-
mined.
On Friday^ June 20th, as well as on the next day^ lie was
very ill ; though, vrith great effort, he was enabled to preach to
his people on Saturday. His illness continued on the SdthaA^
but he preached, notwithstanding, to his people both parts of
the day ; and after the public worship was ended, he endea'*
voured to apply divine truths to the consciences of some, and
addressed them personally for that end ; several were in tears,
and some appeared much affected. But he was extremely
wearied with the services of the day, and so ill at night, that
he could have no bodily rest ; but remarks, that ' God was his
support, and that he was not left destitute of comfort in him.^
On Monday^ he continued very ill ; but speaks of his mind
being calm and composed, resigned to the divine dispensations,
and content with his feeble state. By the account which he
gives of himself, the remaining part of this week, he continued-
very feeble, and for the most part dejected in mind. He en-
joyed no great freedom nor sweetness in spiritual things ; ex-
cept that for some very short spaces of time he had refresh-
ment and encouragement, which engaged his heart on divine
things; and sometimes his heart was melted with spiritual
affection.
Lord'^8 day^ June 29. " Preached both parts of the day,
from John xiv. 19. ' Yet a little while, and the world seeth me
no more,' &c. God was pleased to assist me, to afford me
both freedom and power, especially towards the close of my
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 353
discourse, both forenoon and afternoon. God^s power appear-
ed in the assembly, in both exercises. Numbers of God's peo-
ple were refreshed and melted with divine things ; one or two
comforted, who had been long under distress ; convictions, in
divers instances, powerfully revived ; and one man in years
much awakened, who had not long frequented our meeting,
and appeared before as stupid as a stock. God amazingly re-
newed and lengthened out my strength. I was so spent at
noon, that I could scarce walk, and all my joints trembled ; so
that I could not sit, nor so much as hold my hand still : and
yet God strengthened me to preach with power in the after-
noon ; although I had given out word to my people, that I did
not expect to be able to do it. Spent some time afterwards in
conversing, particularly, with several persons, about their spi-
ritual state ; and had some satisfaction concerning one or two.
Prayed afterwards with a sick child, and gave a word of ex-
hortation. Was assisted in all my work. Blessed be God,
Returned home with more health, than I went out with ; al-
though my linen was wringing wet upon me, from a little fiifter
ten in the morning, till past nve in the afternoon. My spirits
also were considerably refreshed ; and my soul rejoiced in
hope, that I had through grace done something for God. In
the evening, walked out, and enjoyed a sweet season in secret
prayer and praise. But oh, 1 found the truth of the Psalmist's
words, * My goodness extendeth not to thee !' I could not
make any returns to God ; I longed to live only to him, and to
be in tune for his praise and service for ever. Oh, for spirituali-
ty and holy fervency, that I might spend and be spent for God to
ray latest moment !
June 30. " Spent the day in writing ; but under much
weakness and disorder. Felt the labours of the preceding day ;
although my spirits were so refreshed the evening before, that 1
was not then sensible of my being spent.
July h " In the afternoon, visited, and preached to my
people, from Heb. ix. 27. And as it is appointed unto men
once to die, &c. on occasion of some person's lying at the
point of death, in my congregation. God gave me some as-
sistance ; and his word made some impressions on the audi-
ence, in general. This was an agreeable and comfortable
evening to my soul : my spirits were somewhat refreshed, with
a small degree of freedom and help enjoyed in my work."
On Wednesday he went to Newark, to a meeting of the
Presbytery ; complains of lowness of spirits ; and greatly la-
ments his spending his time so unfruitfuUv. The remaining
part of the week he spent there, and at Elizabethtown ; and
speaks of comfort and divine assistance, from day to day ; but
yet greatly complains for want of more spirituahtv.
Vol. X. 45
354 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
hordes daf/y July 6. " [At Elizabethtown.] Enjoyed gome
composure and serenity of mind, in the morning : heard Mr.
Dickinson preach, in the forenoon, and was refreshed with his
discourse ; was in a melting frame, some part of the time of
sermon : partook of the Lord^s supper, and enjoyed some sense,
of divine things in that ordinance. In the afternoon I preach-
ed from Ezek. xxxiii. 11. ^ As 1 live, saith the Lord God,^
&c. God favoured me with freedom and fervency, and helped
me to plead his cause, beyond my own power.
July 7. ^' My spirits were considerably refreshed and rais-
ed, in the morning. There is no comfort, I find, in any en-
joyment, without enjoying God, and bemg engaged in his ser-
vice. In the evening, had the most agreeable conversation
which I remember in all my life, upon God^s being all in dU^
and all enjoyments being just that to us which God makes them,
and no more. It is ^ooa to begin and end with God. O how
does a sweet solemnity lay a foundation, for true pleasure and
happiness \
July 8. " Rode home, and enjoyed some agreeable medita-
tions by the way.
July 9. " Spent the day in writing, enjoyed some comfort
and refreshment of spirit in my evening retirement.
July 10. " Spent most of the day in writing. Toward's
night rode to Mr. Tennent's ; enjoyed some agreeable conver-
sation : went home in the evening, in a solemn, sweet frame of
mind; was refreshed in secret duties, longed to live wholly and
only for God, and saw plainly, there was nothing in the world
Avorthy of my afTection ; so that my heart was dead to all be-
low ; yet not through dejection, as at some times, but from
views of a better inheritance.
Jidy 11. " Was in a calm, composed frame, in the morning,
especially in the season of my secret retirement. I think, that
I was veil pleased with the will of God, whatever it was, or
should be, in all respects of which I had then any thought. In-
tending to administer the Lord's supper the next Lord's day, I
looked to God for his presence and assistance upon that occa-
sion ; but felt a disposition to say, ' The will of the Lord be
done,' whether it be to give me assistance, or not. Spent some
little time in writing ; visited the Indians, and spent some time
in serious conversation with them : thinking it not best to
preach, many of them being absent.
July 12. " This day was spent in fasting and prayer by my
congregation, as preparatory to the sacrament. I discoursed,
both parts of the day, from Rom. iv. 25. ' Who was delivered
for our offences,' &c. God gave me some assistance in roy
discourses, and something of divine power attended the word ;
so that this was an agreeable season. Afterwards led them to
a solemn renewal of their covenant, and fresh dedication of
M£JfOIRS OF BRAIN£RD. 355
themselves to God. This was a season both of solemnity and
sweetness, and God seemed to be ' in the midst of us.' Re*
turned to my lodgings, in the evening, in a comfortable frame
ofmind.
Lord^s day^ July 13. " In the forenoon, discoursed on the
bread oflife^ from John vi. 35. God gave me some assistance,
in part of my discourse especially ; and there appeared some
tender affection in the assembly under divine truths ; my soul
also was somewhat refreshed. Administered the sacrament of
the Lord's supper to thirty-one persons of the Indians. God
seemed to be present in this ordinance ; the communicants
were sweetly melted and refreshed, most of them. O how they
melted, even when the elements were first uncovered ! There
was scarcely a dry eye among them, when I took off the linen,
and showed them the symbols of Christ's broken body. — Ha-
ving rested a little, after the administration of the sacrament, I
visited the communicants, and found them generally in a sweet
loving frame ; not unlike what appeared among them on the
former sacramental occasion, on April 27. In the afternoon,
discoursed upon coming to Christy and the satisfaction of those
who do so, from the same verse I insisted on m the forenoon.
This was likewise an agreeable season, a season of much ten-
derness, affection, and enlargement in divine service ; and God,
I am persuaded, crowned our assembly with his divine presence.
I returned home much spent, yet rejoicing in the goodness of
God.
July 14. " Went to my people, and discoursed to them from
Psal. cxix. 106. ' I have sworn, and I will perform it,' &c.
Observed, L That all God!^^ judgments or commandments are
righteous. 2. That God's people have sworn to keep them;
and this they do especially at the Lord's table. There appear-
ed to be a powerful divine influence on the assembly, and con-
siderable melting under the word. Afterwards, I lead them to
a renewal of their covenant before God, that they would watch
over themselves and one another, lest they should fall into sin
and dishonour the name of Christ, just as I did on Monday,
April 28. This transaction was attended with great solemni-
ty : and God seemed to own it by exciting in them a fear and
jealousy of themselves, lest they should sin against God ; so that
the presence of God seemed to be amongst us in this conclu-
sion of the sacramental solemnity."
The neoct day^ he set out on a journey towards Philadelphia ;
from whence he did not return till Saturday. He went thi^
journey, and spent the week, under a great degree of illness of
body, and dejection of mind.
Lord^s day^ July 20. " Preached twice to my people from
356 MEMOIRS OF BRAIHTKBD.
John xvii. 24. ^ Father, I will that they also ivhom tfaon ha^
given me, be with me, where I am, that they may behold my
glory, which thou hast ^ven me/ Was helped to discoutae
with great clearness and plainness in the forenoon. ' In die
•afternoon, enjoyed some tenderness, and spake with some in-
fluence. Numbers were in tears ; and some, to appearance,
in distress.
July 21. ^^ Preached to the Indians, chiefly fhr the sake of
some strangers ; proposed my design of taking a joUtoot q>ee-
dily to the Susquehannah ; exhorted my people to pray unr ine,
that God would be with me in that journey ; and then tdKwe
divers persons of the congregation to travel with me. Afte^
wards, spent some time in discoursing to the stranflen, and
was somewhat encouraged with them. Took care of my peo-
ple's secular business, and was not a little ezefciaed intn it
Had some degree of composure and comfort in secret retire
ment.
July2i. ^^ Was in a dejected frame, most of the day ; want-
ed to wear out life, and have it at an end ; but had some de-
sires of living to God^ and wearing out life /or Am. O ^ai I
could indeed do BO P'*
The next day he went to Elizabethtown, to a mooting of
the Presbytery; and spent this, and ThurBday^BSiA the former
part of Friday^ under a very great decree or melanchofy, and
ffloominess of mind ; not through any fear of future punishment,
but as being distressed with a senselessness of all ffo'od, so that
the whole world appeared empty and gloomy to him. In the
latter part oi Fridayhe was greatly relieved and comforted.
July 26. " Was comfortable in the morning ; my counte-
nance and heart were not sad, as in days past ; enjoyed some
sweetness in lifting up my heart to God. Rode home to my
people, and was in a comfortable, pleasant frame by the way ;
my spirits were much relieved of their burden, and I felt free to
go through all difficulties and labours in my Master^s service.
Lord's day^ July 27. " Discoursed to my people in the fore-
noon, from Luke xii. 37, on the duty and benefit of watching,
God helped me in the latter part of my discourse, and the pow-
er of God appeared in the assembly. In the afternoon, dis-
coursed from Luke xiii. 25. When once the master of the house
is risen up^ &c. Here also I enjoyed some assistance ; and
the Spirit of God seemed to attend what was spoken, so that
there was a great solemnity, and some tears among Indians and
others.
July 28. " Was very weak, and scarce able to perform any
business at all ; but enjoyed sweetness and comfort in prayer,
both morning and evening ; and was composed and comforta-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 35T
ble through the day. My mind was intense, and my heart fer-
vent, at least in some degree, in secret duties ; and I longed to
spend and be spent for God.
July "-29. " My mind was cheerful, and free from the me-
lancholy, with which I am often exercised ; had freedom in
looking up to God, at various times in the day. In the even-
ins, I enjoyed a comfortable season in secret prayer; was
helped to plead with God for my own dear people, that he
would carry on his own blessed work among them ; was assist-
ed also in praying for the divine presence to attend me in my
intended journey to the Susquehannah ; and was helped to re-
member dear brethren and friends in New England. I scarce
knew how to leave the throne of grace, and it grieved me that
I was obliged to go to bed ; I longed to do something for God,
but knew not how. Blessed be God for this freedom from dc-
Jection.
. July 30. " Was uncommonly comfortable, both in body
and mind ; in the forenoon especially, my mind was solemn ;
1 was assisted in my work ; and God seemed to be near to
me ; so that the day was as comfortable as most I have enjoy-
ed for some • time. In the evening, was favoured with assist-
ance in secret prayer, and felt much as I did the evening before.
Blessed be God for that freedom I then enjoyed at the throne of
grace, for myself, my people, and my dear friends. It is good
for me to draw near to God.'*'*
He seems to have continued very much in the same free,
comfortable state of mind the next day.
Aug. I. "In the evening, enjoyed a sweet season in secret
prayer ; clouds of darkness and perplexing care were sweetly
scattered, and nothing anxious remained. O how serene was
my -mind at this season ! how free from that distracting con-
cern I have often felt ! ' Thy will be done,' was a petition
sweet to my soul ; and if God had bidden me choose for my-
self in any affair, I should have chosen rather to have referred
the choice to him ; for I saw he was infinitely wise, and could
not do any thing amiss, as I was in danger of doing. Was as-
sisted in prayer for my dear flock, that God would promote
his own work among them, and that God would go with me
in my intended journey to the Susquehannah ; was helped to
remember my dear friends in New England, and my dear
brethren in the ministry. I found enough in the sweet duty of
prayer to have engaged me to continue in it the whole night,
would my bodily state have admitted of it. O how sweet it is,
to be enabled heartily to say, Lord^ not my will^ hut thine be
done.
Aug. 2, ** Near night, preached from Matt. xi. 29. Take
358 MCMOIRS or BRAINERDi
my yoke mon you^ Slc Was coiuiderably helped ; and the
presence of Grod seemed to be somewhat remarkably in the as-
sembly ; divine truths made poweriiil impressions, bo^ upon
saints and sinners. Blessed oe God for such a revival among
us. In tfie evening was very weary, but found my spirits sup-
ported and refreshed.
Lord* 9 dauj Aug. 3. ^ Discoursed to my people, in the fore-
noon, from Col. hi. 4. and observed, that Cmrist is the believer^s
Idfe. God helped me, and gave me his oresence in this dis-
course ; and it was a season of considtdrable power to the as-
sembly. In the afternoon, preached from Luke Jiiz. 41, 42.
And when hewascome near^ he beheld the cUv^ ^rc 1 enjoyed
some assistance ; though not so much as in tne forenoon. In
' the evening I enjoyed freedom and sweetness in secret prayer ;
God enlarged my heart, freed me from melancholy damps,
and gave me satisfaction in drawing near to himseHl Ok
thai my soul could modify the Lard, for these seasons of
composure and resignation to his wiU.
Aug. 4. ^^ Spent the day in writing ; enjoyed mudh free-
dom and assistance in my work ; was in a composed and conb
fcNTtable frame, most of the day ; and in the evening enjoyed
some sweetness in prayer. Blessed be God, my spirits vrere
yet up, and I was free from sinking damps ; as 1 have been in
general ever since I came from Elizabethtown last Owhal
amercyis this!
Aug. 5. ^^ Towards ni^ht, preached at the funeral of one of
my cimstians, from Is. Ivii. 2. He shall enter into peace, Ac*
I was oppressed with the nervous head-ach, and considerably
dejectea ; however, had a little freedom, some part of the time
I was discoursing. Was extremely weary in the evening ; but
notwithstanding, enjoyed some liberty and cheerfulness of mind
in prayer ; and found the dejection that 1 feared, much remo-
ved, and my spirits considerably refreshed."
He continued in a very comfortable, cheerful frame of mind
the next day^ with his heart enlarged in the service of God.
Aug. 7. " Ro ' '7 house, where I spent the last winter,
in order to bring* ' aie things I needed for my Susquehannah
journey ; was refreshed to see that place, which God so mar-
vellously visited with the showers of his grace. O how amazing
did the power of God often appear there ! Bless the Lord,
my soul, and forget not all his benefts.'*'*
The next day, he speaks of liberty, enlargement, and sweet-
ness of mind, in prayer and religious conversation.
Aug. 9. " In the afternoon, visited my people ; set their at
MEMOIBS OF BRAINERD. 359
fairs in order, as much as possible, and contrived for them the
management of their worldly business ; discoursed to them in
a solemn manner, and concluded with prayer. Was composed
and comfortable in the evening, and somewhat fervent in se-
cret prayer ; had some sense and view of the eternal world ;
and found a serenity of mind. O that I could magnify the
Lord for any freedom which he affords me in prayer !
Lord^s day^ Aug, 10. " Discoursed to my people, both parts
of the day, from Acts iii. 19. Repent ye therefore^ &c. In
discoursing of repentance^ in the forenoon, God helped me, so
that my discourse was searching ; some were in tears, both of
the Indians and white people, and the word of God was at-
tended with some power. In the intermission, I was engaged
in discoursing to some in order to their baptism ; as well as
with one who had then lately met with some comfort, after spi-
ritual trouble and distress. In the afternoon, was somewhat
assisted again, though weak and weary. Afterwards baptized
six persons ; three adults and three children. Was in a com-
fortable frame in the evening, and enjoyed some satisfaction
in secret prayer. I scarce ever in my life felt myself so full of
tenderness, as this day.
Aug, 11. " Being about to set out on a journey to the Sus-
quehannah the next- day, with leave of Providence, I spent some
time this day in prayer with my people, that God would bless
and succeed my intended journey, that he would send forth his
blessed Spirit with his word, and set up his kingdom among
the poor Indians in the wilderness. While 1 was opening and
applying part of the cxth and iid Psalms, the power of God
seemed to descend on the assembly in some measure; and
while I was making the first prayer, numbers were melted, and,
found some affectionate enlargement of soul myself. Preach-
ed from Acts iv. 31. And when they had prayed^ the place was
shaken^ &c. God helped me, and my interpreter also ; there
was a shaking and melting among us ; and divers, I doubt not,
were in some measure ' filled with the Holy Ghost.' After-
wards, Mr. Macnight prayed ; and I then opened the two last
stanzas of the Ixxiid Psalm ; at which ♦'*- jod was present
with us; especially while I insisted up.. e promise of all
nations blessing the great Redeemer. My &vu' was refreshed
to think, that this day, this blessed glorious season, should
surely come ; and, I trust, numbers of my dear people were
also refreshed. Afterwards prayed ; had some freedom, but
was almost spent ; then walked out, and left my people to car-
ry on religious exercises among themselves. They prayed re-
peatedly, and sung, whilel rested and refreshed myself. After-
wards, went to the meeting, prayed with, and dismissed the as-
sembly. Blessed be God, this has been a day of grace. There
were many tears and affectionate sobs among us this day. In
360 MEMOIRS or BRAINSE9.
the evening, my soul was refreshed in prayer ; enjoyed liberty
at the throne of grace, in praying for my pecmle and firiendi,
and the Church of God in general BUss the Lord^ O mi
9ml r .
The next day he set out on his journey towards the SiuHRie-^
hannah, and six of his Christian Indians with him, whom he bad
chosen out of his con^gation, as those he judged moat fit to
assist him in the business he was going upon* He took Us
way throuffh Philadelphia ; intending to go to the Suaquehan-
nah river, mr down, where it is settled by the white people, be-
low the country inhabited by the Indians ; and so to thmi. Op
the river to the Indian habitations. For alUiouch thk m
much farther about, yet hereby he avoided the huge moun-
tains, and hideous wilderness, that must be crossed in the near-
er way ; which in time past he found to be extremeily fliPVwfc
and fatij^ing. He rode this week as far as Charlestown, about
thirty miles westward of Philadelphia, where he arrived oil
Friday : and in his way hither, was, for the most part, ia aeeiB-
posed, comfortable state of mind.
Aug. 16. *^ [At Charlestown.] It being a day kept by die
people of the place where I now was, as preparatory to the
celebration of the Lord^s supper, I tarried ; heard Mr. Trettt
preach ; and then preached mysel£ God gave me some good
degreee of freedom, and helped me to discourse with warmdi
and application, to the conscience. Afterwards, 1 was refr^h
ed in spirit, though much tried ; and spent the evening agreea*
bly, having some freedom in prayer, as well as christian conver-
sation.
Lord's day^ Aug, 17. " Enjoyed liberty, composure, and
satisfaction, in the secret duties of the morning ; had my heart
somewhat enlarged in prayer for dear friends, as well as for
myself. In the forenoon attended Mr. Treat's preaching, par-
took of the Lord's supper, five of my people also communi-
cating in this holy ordinance ; I enjoyed some enlargement and
outgoing of soul in this season. In t(ie afternoon preached from
Ezek. xxxiii. 11. Say unto them^ as I live^ saith the Lard Oad^
&.C. Enjoyed not so much sensible assistance as the day be-
fore ; however, was helped to some fervency in addressing im-
mortal souls. Was somewhat confounded in the evening, be-
cause I thought I had done little or nothing for God ; yet en-
joyed some refreshment of spirit in christian conversation "and
prayer. Spent the evening, till near midnight, in religious ex-
ercises ; and found my bodily strength, which was much spent
when I came from the public worship, something renewed be-
fore I went to bed.
Aug. 18. " Rode on my way towards Paxton, upon Sus-
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 361
quehannah river. Felt my spirits sink towards night, so that I
had little comfort
Atiff. 19. " Rode forward still ; and at night lodged by
the side of the Susquehannah. Was weak and disordered both
this and the preceding day, and found my spirits considerably
damped, meeting with none that I thought godly people.
Aug. 20. " Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I cough-
ed much bloody matter this morning, and was under great dis-
order of body, and not a little melancholy ; but What gave me
some encouragement was, I had a secret hope that I might
speedily get a dismission from earth, and all its toils and sor^
rows. Rode this day to one Chamber's, upon the Susquehan-
nah, and there lodged. Was much afflicted in the evening,
with an ungodly crew, drinking, swearing, &c. O what a hell
Would it be, to be numbered with the ungodly ! Enjoyed some
agreeable conversation with a traveller, who seemed to have
some relish of true religion*
Aug. 21. " Rode up the river about fifteen miles and there
lodged, in a family which appeared quite destitute of God.
Laboured to discourse with the man about the life of religion,
but found him very artful in evading such conversation. O
what a death it is to some, to hear of the things of God / Was
out of my element ; but was not so dejected as at some times.
Aug. 22. " Continued my course up the river ; my people
now being with me, who before were parted from me ; travel-
led above all the English settlements ; at ni^ht lodged in the
open woods ; and slept with more comfort than while among
an ungodly company of white people. Enjoyed some liberty
in secret prayer, this evening ; and was helped to remember
dear friends, as well as my dear flock, and the church of God
in general.
Aug. 23. " Arrived at the Indian town, called Shaumok-
ing^ near night, was not so dejected as formerly; but yet
somewhat exercised. Felt somewhat composed in the evening ;
enjoyed some freedom in leaving my all with God. Through
the great goodness of God, I enjoyed some liberty of mind ;
and was not distressed with a despondency, as frequently here-
tofore.
Lord'^s day, Aug. 24. " Towards noon, visited some of the
Delawares, and discoursed with them about Christianity. In
the afternoon discoursed to the King, and others, upon divine
things ; who seemed disposed to hear. Spent most of the day
in these exercises. In the evening enjoyed some comfort and
satisfaction ; and especially had some sweetness in secret
prayer. This duty was made so agreeable to me, that I loved
to walk abroad, and repeatedly engage in it. OA, how comfort-
able is a little glimpf^e of God !
Vol. X. 4fi
362 MEMOIRS OF BRAINLRP.
Aug. 25. " Spent most of the day in writing. Sent out my
people that were with me, to talk with the Indians, and contract
a friendship and famiharity with them, that I might have a bet-
ter opportunity of treating with them about Christianity. Some
good seemed to be done by their visit this day, divers appear-
ed willing to hearken to Christianity. My spirits were a little
refreshed this evening ; and I found some liberty and satisfac-
tion in prayer.
Aug. 26. '^ About noon, discoursed to a considerable num-
ber of Indians. God helped me, 1 am persuaded ; for I was
enabled to speak with much plainness, and some warmth and
power ; and the discourse had impression upon some, and
made them appear very serious. I thought things now ap-
peared as encouraging, as they did at Crossweeks. At the
time of my first visit to those Indians, I was a little encoura-
ged ; I pressed things with all my might ; and called out my
people, who were then present, to give in their testimony for
God ; which they did. Towards ni£[ht, was refreshed ; had a
heart to pray for the setting up of God^s kingdom here ; as
well as for my dear congregation below, and my dear friends
elsewhere.
Aug. 27. ^^ There having been a thick smoke in the house
where I lodged all night before, whereby I was almost choak-
ed, I was this morning distressed with pains in my bead and
neck, and could have no rest. In the morning, the smoke was
still the same; and a cold easterly storm gathering, I could
neither live within doors, nor without, a long time together. I
was pierced with the rawness of the air abroad, and in the
house distressed with the smoke. I was this day very vapoury,
and lived in great distress, and had not health enough to do
any thing to any purpose.
Aug, 28. " In the afternoon, I was under great concern of
mind about my work. Was visited . by some who desired to
hear me preach ; discoursed to them, in the afternoon, with
some fervency, and laboured to persuade them to turn to God.
Was full of concern for the kingdom of Christ, and found some
enlargement of soul in prayer, both in secret and in my family.
Scarce ever saw more clearly, than this day, that it is God's
work to convert souls, and especially poor Heathens. I knew,
I could not touch them ; I saw I could only speak to dry bones^
but could give them no sense of what I said. My eyes were
up to God for help : I could say the ivork was his ; and if done,
the glori/ would be his.
Aug. 29. " Felt the same concern of mind, as the day be-
fore. Enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and a satisfaction to
leave all with God. Travelled to the Delawares, found few at
home, felt poorly : but was able to spend some time alone in
M£MOIRS OF BRAINERD. 363
reading God's word and in prayer, and enjoyed some sweet-
ness in these exercises. In the evening, was assisted repeated^*
]y in prayer, and found some comfort in coming to the throne
of grace.
Aug. 30. " Spent the forenoon in visiting a trader^ who
came down the river sick ; and who appeared as ignorant as
any Indian. In the afternoon spent some time in reading,
writing, and prayer.
Lord*s day, Aug. 31. " Spent much time, in the morning,
in secret duties ; found a weight upon my spirits, and could
not but cry to God with concern and engagement of soul.
Spent some time also in reading and expounding God's word
to my dear family which was with me, as well as in singing and
prayer with them. Afterwards spake the word of God, to
some few of the Susquehannah Indians. In the afternoon,
felt very weak and feeble. Near night, was somewhat refresh-
ed in mind, with some views of things relating to my great
work. O how heavy is my work, when faith cannot take hold
of an almighty arm, for the performance of it ! Many times
have I been ready to sink in this case. Blessed be God that I
map repair to a full fountain ?
Sept. 1. " Set out on a journey towards a place called The
Chreat Island, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, in the
north-western branch of the Susquehannah. Travelled some
part of the way, and at night lodged in the woods. Was ex-
ceedingly feeble this day, and sweat much the night following,
Sept. 2. " Rode forward ; but no faster than my people
went on foot. Was very weak, on this as well as the preceding
days. I was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me
to lie out in the open air ; and some of our company being
parted from us, so that we had now no axe with us, I had no
way but to climb into a young pine tree, and with my knife to
lop the branches, and so made a shelter from the dew. But the
evening being cloudy, and very likely for rain, I was still under
fears of being extremely exposed : sweat much in the night, so
that my linen was almost wringing wet all night. I scarcely
ever was more weak and weary, than this evening, when 1 was
able to sit up at all. This was a melancholy situation I was
in ; but I endeavoured to quiet myself with considerations of
the possibility of my being in much worse circumstances,
among enemies, (&c.
Sept. 3. " Rode to the Delaware-town ; found divers drink-
ing and drunken. Discoursed with some of the Indians about
Christianity ; observed my Interpreter much engaged and as-
sisted in his work ; some few persons seemed to hear with great
earnestness and engagement of soul. About noon, rode to a
small town of Shauwaunoes, about eight miles distant ; spent
an hour or two there, and returned to the Delaware-town, and
364 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD«
lodged there. Was scarce ever more confounded with a sense
of my own unfruitfulness and unfitness for my work, than now.
O what a dead, heartless, barren, unprofitable wretch did I now
see myself to be ! My spirits were so low, and my bodily
strength so wasted, that I could do nothing at all. At length,
being much overdone, lay down on a buffalo-skin ; but sweat
much the whole night.
Sept, 4. " Discoursed with the Indians, in the morning,
about Christianity ; my Interpreter, afterwards, carrying on
the discourse lo a considerable length. Some few appeared
well disposed, and somewhat affected. Left this place, and
returned towards Shaumoking ; and at night lodged in the place
where I lodged the Monday night before : was in very uncom-
fortable circumstances in the evening, my people being belated,
and not coming to me till past ten at night ; so that I had no fire
to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm, or keep oflF wild
beasts ; and I was scarce ever more weak and worn out in all
my life. However, I lay down and slept before my people
came up, expecting nothing else but to spend the whole night
alone, and without fire.
Sept, 5. " Was exceeding weak, so that I could sc^arcely
ride ; it seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse,
and lie in the open woods : however, got to Shaumoking, to-
wards night : felt somewhat of a spirit of thankfulness, that
God had so far returned me : was refreshed to see one of my
Christians, whom I left here in my late excursion.
Sept, 6. " Spent the day in a very weak state ; coughing
and spitting blood, and having liltlc appetite for any food I had
with me ; was able to do very little, except discourse a while of
divine things to my own people, and to some few I met with.
Had, by this time, very little life or heart to speak for God,
through feebleness of body, and flatness of spirits. Was
scarcely ever more ashamed and confounded in myself, than
now. I was sensible, that there were numbers of God's peo-
ple, who knew I was then out upon a design, or at least the
pretence, of doing something for God, and in his cause, among
the poor Indians ; and they were ready to suppose, that I was
fervent in spirit ; but O the heartless frame of mind that I felt,
filled me with confusion ! O methought if God's people knew
me, as God knows, they would not think so highly of my zeal
and resolution for God, as perhaps now they do ! I could not
but desire they should see how heartless and irresolute I was,
that they might be undeceived, and ' not think of me above what
they ought to think.' And yet 1 thought, if they saw the ut-
most of my flatness and unfaithfulness, the smallness of my
courage and resolution for God, they would be ready to shut
me out of their doors, as unworthy of the company or friend-
ship of Christians.
MEMOIRS QT BRAtNERD. 365
hordes day^ Sept. 7. " Was much in the same weak state
of body, and afflicted frame of mind, as in the preceding day :
my soul was grieved, and mourned that I could do nothing for
God» Read and expounded some part of God's word to my
own dear family, and spent some time in prayer with them ;
discoursed also a little to the Pagans ; but spent the Sabbath
with a little comfort.
Sept. 8. " Spent the forenoon among the Indians ; in the
afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the river, a few
miles. Had proposed to have tarried a considerable time lon-
fer among the Indians upon the Susquehannah ; but was hin-
ered from pursuing my purpose by the sickness that prevailed
there, the weakly circumstances of my own people that were
with me, and especially my own extraordinary weakness, ha-
ving been exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing
up of blood, almost the whole of the journey. I was a great
part of the time so feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I
never should be able to reach home ; and at the same time
very destitute of the comforts, and even the necessaries of life ;
at least, what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this
journey I sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God
with some power, and divine truths made some impressions on
divers who heard me ; so that several, both men and women;
old and young, seemed to cleave to iis^ and be well disposed
towards Christianity ; but others mocked and shouted, which
damped those who before seemed friendly, at least some of
them. Yet God, at times, was evidently present, assisting me,
my interpreter, and other dear friends who were with me. God
^ave, sometimes, a good degree of freedom in prayer for the
mgathering of souls there ; and I could not but entertain a
strong hope, that the journey should not be wholly fruitless.
Whether the issue of it would be the setting up of Christ's
kingdom there^ or only the drawing of some few persons down
to my congregation in New Jersey ; or whether they were now
only being prepared for some further attempts, that might be
made among them, I did not determine ; but I was persuaded,
the journey would not be lost. Blessed he God, that I had
any encouragement and hope.
Sept, 9. " Rode down the river, near thirty miles. Was
extremely weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunder storm.
^ Discoursed with some warmth and closeness to some poor ig-
norant souls, on the life and power of religion ; what were,
and what were not th^ evidences of it. They seemed much as-
tonished, when they saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give
thanks, at dinner -, concluding that a very high evidence of
grace in them ; but were astonished, when 1 insisted, that
neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was any sure evidence of
grace. O the ignorance of the world ! How are some empty
3 GO MEHOIRB OF BRAINERD.
outward forms^ that may all be entirely selfish^ mistaken for
true religion, infallible evidences of it. The Lord pity a de-
luded world !
Sepi, 10. " Rode near twenty miles homeward. Was
much solicited to preach, but was utterly unable, through bodi-
ly weakness. Was extremely overdone with the heat and
showers this day, and coughed up a considerable quantity of
blood.
Sept, 11. " Rode homeward ; but was very weak, and
sometimes scarcely able to ride. Had a very importunate in-
vitation to preach at a meetinff-house I came by, the people
being then gathering ; but could not, by reason of weakness.
Was resigned and composed under my weakness ; but was
much exercised with concern for my companions in travel,
whom 1 had left with much regret, some lame, and some sick.
Sept, 12. ^^ Rode about fifty miles ; and came, just at night,
to a christian friend's house, about twenty-five miles westward
from Philadelphia. Was courteously received, and kindly en-
tertained, and found myself much refreshed in the midst of my
weakness and fatigues.
Sept. 13. " Was still agreeably entertained with christian
friendship, and all things necessary for my weak circumstances.
In the afternoon, heard Mr. Treat preach ; and was refi'eshed
in conversation with him, in the evening.
Lord* s day ^ Sept. 14. " At the desire of Mr. Treat and the
people, I preached both parts of the day, (but short,) from Luke
xiv. 23. And the Lord said unto the servant^ go out, &c.
God gave me some freedom and warmth in my discourse ; and
I trust, helped me in some measure to labour in singleness of
heart. Was much tired in the evening, but was comforted
with the most tender treatment 1 ever met with in my life. My
mind, through the whole of this day, was exceeding calm ; and
I coul(i ask for nothing in prayer, with any encouragement of
soul, but that ' the will of God might be done.'
Sept. 15. " Spent the whole day, in concert with Mr. Treat,
in endeavours to compose a difference, subsisting between cer-
tain persons in the congregation where we now were : and
there seemed to be a blessing on our endeavours. In the eve-
ning, baj)tized a child ; was in a calm, composed frame ; and
enjoyed, I trust, a spiritual sense of divine things, while admi-
nistering the ordinance. Afterwards, spent the time in reli-
gious conversation, till late in the night. This was indeed a
pleasant, agreeable evening.
Sept, 16. ''Continued still at my friend's house, about twen-
ty-five miles westward of Philadelphia. Was very weak, una-
ble to perform any business, and scarcely able to sit up.
Sept. 17. " Rode into Philadelphia. Still very weak, and my
MEMOIRS 6F BRAINERD. 367
cough and spitting of blood continued. Enjoyed some agreea-
ble conversation with friends, but wanted more spirituality.
Sept. 18. " Went from Philadelphia to Mr. .Treat's ; was
agreeably entertained on the road ; and was in a sweet, com-
posed frame, in the evening.
Sept. 19. *' Rode from Mr. Treat's to Mr. Stockston's, at
Princeton : was extremely weak, but kindly received and
entertained. Spent the evening with some degree of satis-
faction.
Sept. 20. " -A/^'v^^ among my own people, near Cranberry,
just at night : found them praying together ; went in, and gave
them some account of God's dealings with me and my com-
panions in the journey ; which seemed affecting to them. 1
then prayed with tbem, and thought the divine presence was
amongst us ; divers were melted into tears, and seemed to have
a sense of divine things. Being very weak, I was obliged soon
to repair to my lodgings, and felt much worn out, in the eve-
ning. Thus God has carried me through the fatigues and pe-
rils of another journey to the Susquehannah, and returned me
again in safety, though under a great degree of bodily indispo-
sition. Oh that my soul were truly thankful for renewed in-
stances of mercy ! Many hardships and distresses I endured in
this journey, but the Lord supported me under them all."
Hitherto Brainerd had kept a constant diary, giving an ac-
count of what passed from day to day, with very little inter-
ruption ; but henceforward his diary is very much interrupted
by his illness ; under which he was often brought so low, as
either not to be capable of writing, or not well able to bear the
burden of a care so constant, as was requisite, to recollect^
every evening, what had passed in the day, and digest it, and
set down an orderly account of it in writing. However, his
duMry was not wholly neglected ; but he took care, from time
to time, to take some notice in it of the most material things
concerning himself and the state of his mind, even till within a
few days of his death, as the reader will see afterwards.*
Lord's day, Sept. 21, 1746. " I was so weak that I could
* Mr. Shepard, in his select eases resolved^ und'^rthe first case sayg as follows :
— " I have lately known one, very able, wise and godly, put upon the rack, by
him that, envying; God''8 people's peace, knows how to change himsell into an
angd of light ; for it being his usual course, in (he time of his health, to make a
diary of his hourly life, and finding much benefit by it, he was in conscience press-
ed, by the power and delusion of Satan^ to make and take the same daily survey
of his life in the time of his sickness — by means of which he spent his enfeebled
'spirits, cast on fuel to fire his sickness. Had not a friend of his convinced him of
his erroneous conscience misleading him at that time, he had murdered his bo-
dy, out of conscience to save his soul, and to preserve his grace. And do you
think tliese were the motions of God's Spirit, which like those locusts, Rev. ix.
9. 10. had faces like men, but had tails like scorjpions, and stings in their tails ?"
368 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN£RD«
not preach, nor pretrnd to ride over to my people in the fore-^
noon. In the afternoon rode out ; sat in my chair^ and dis-
coursed to my people from Rom. xiv. 7, 8. For none of us
liveth to himself &c. I was strengthened and helped in my
discourse ; and there appeared something agreeable in the as-
sembly« I returned to my lodgings extremely tired, but thank-
ful, that I had been enabled to speak a word to my poor peo-
ple, from whom I had been so long absent. Was enabled to
sleep very little this night, through weariness and pain. O how
blessed should I be, if the little I do were all jlone with right
views ! Oh that, ' whether I live, I might live to the Lord ; or
w^hether I die, I might die unto the Lord ; that, whether livuig
or dying, I might be the Lord's !'
Sept. 27. " Spent this day, as well as the whote week past,
under a great degree of bodily weakness, exercised with a vio-
lent cough, and a considerable fever. I had no appetite far
any kind of food ; and frequently brought up what I ate, as
soon as it was down ; oftentimes had little rest in my bed,
owing to pains in my breast and back. I was able, however,
to ride over to my people, about two miles, every day, and take
some care of those who were then at work upon a small house
for me to reside in among the Indians.* I was sometimes
scarce able to walk, and never able to sit up the whole day,
through the week. Was calm and composed, and but little
exercised with melancholy, as in former seasons of weakness.
Whether I should ever recover or no, seemed very doubtful ;
but this was many times a comfort to me, that life and death
did not depend upon my choice. I was pleased to think, that
He who is infinitely wise, had the determination of this matter;
and that I had no trouble to consider and weigh things upon
all sides, in order to make the choice, whether I should live or
die. Thus my time was consumed ; 1 had little strength to
pray, none to write or read, and scarce any to meditate; but
through divine goodness, I could with great composure look
death in the face, and frequently with sensible joy. O how
blessed it is, to be hahitualh/ prepared for death ! The Lord
grant, that I may be actually ready also !
Lord''s day^ Sept. 18. " Rode to my people ; and, though
under much weakness, attempted to preach from 2 Cor. xiii. 5.
Examine yourselves^ vSlc. Discoursed about half an hour ; at
which season divine power seemed to attend the word : but
being extremely weak, I was obliged to desist; and after a
turn of faintness, with much difficulty rode to my lodgings ;
where betaking myself to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and
almost delirious, for several hours ; till towards morning, my
* This was ihe fourth house he built for his residence among the Indians. Be-
side that at Kaunaumeekf and that at the Forks of Deh.nvare, and another at
^rossweeksungy he built one now at Crajiberr?/.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 369
fever went oiF with a violent sweat. I have often been fever-
ish, and unable to rest quietly after preaching ; but this was
the most severe, distressing turn, that ever preaching brought
upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest in my own mind, because
I had made my utmost attempts to speak for God, and knew I
could do no more.
Sept. 30. " Yesterday and to-day, was in the same weak
state, or rather weaker than in days past ; was scarce able to sit
up half the day. Was in a composed frame of mind, remarka-
bly free from dejection and melancholy ; as God has been
pleased, in a great measure, to deliver me from these unhappy
glooms, in the general course of my present weakness hitherto,
and also from a peevish froward spirit. And O how great a
mercy is this ! Oh that I might always be perfectly quiet in
seasons of greatest weakness, although nature should sink and
fail ! Oh that I may always be able with the utmost sincerity
to say, * Lord, not my will, but thine be done !' This, through
E^ce, I can say at present, with regard to life or death, ' The
ord do with me as seems good in his sight ;^ that whether I
live or die, I may glorify Him^ who is ' worthy to receive bless-
ing, and honour, and dominion for ever. Amen.'
Oct 4. " Spent the former part of this week under a great
degree of infirmity and disorder, as I had done several weeks
before ; was able, however, to ride a little every day, although
unable to sit up half the day, till Thursday. Took some care
daily of some persons at work upon my house. On Friday af-
ternoon, found myself wonderfully revived and strengthened.
Having some time before given notice to my people, and those
of them at the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I design-
ed, with the leave of Providence, to administer the sacrament
of the Lord's supper upon the first Sabbath in October. On
Friday afternoon I preached preparatory to the sacrament,
from 2 Cor. xiii. 5 ; finishing what I proposed to offer upon the
subject the Sabbath before. The sermon was blessed of God
to the stirring up religious affection, and a spirit of devotion,
in the people of God ; and to greatly affecting one who had
backslidden from God, which caused him to judge and condemn
himself. I was surprisingly strengthened in my work, while I
was speaking ; but was obliged immediately after to repair to
bed, being now removed into my own bouse among the In-
dians ; which gave me such speedy relief and refreshment, as I
could not well have lived without. Spent some time on Fri-
day night in conversing with my people about divine things, as
I lay upon my bed ; and found my soul refreshed, though my
body was weak. This being Saturday, I discoursed particular-
ly with divers of the communicants ; and this afternoon preach-
ed from Zech. xii. 10. And I will pour on the house of David,
<fcc. There seemed to be a tender melting:, and hearty mourn-
VoL. X. 47
370 MEMeiRs er brainerb,
ing for sin, in numbers in the congregation. My soul was in t
comfortable fristme, and 1 enjoyed freedom and assistance is
public service ; was myself, as well as most of the congrega-
tion, much affected with the humble confession, and apparait
broken-heartedness of the forementioned backslider; and
could not but rejoice, that God had given him such a sense of
his sin and un worthiness. Was extremely tired in the evening ;
but lay on my bed, and discoursed to my people.
hordes day^ Oct. 5. ^^ Was still verv weak ; and in the
morning considerably afraid T should not be able to go throogh
the work of the day ; having much to do, both in private and
public. Discoursed before the administration oi the sacrt*
ment, from John i. 29. ^ Behold the Lamb of God, that taketk
away the sins of the world.^ Where I considered, L In whtt
respects Christ is called the Lamb of God ; and observed that
he is so called, (1.) From the purity and innocemcy of his nsi-
ture. (2.) From his meekness e^na patience under aufferingk
(3.) From his being that atonement which was pointed out in
the sacrifice of the lambs, and in particular by the paschd
Iamb. ll. Considered how and in what sense he *• takes awaf
the sin of the world f and observed, that the means and man-
ner, in and by which he takes away the sins of men, was his
* giving himself for them,^ doing ipd suffering id their rocMD
and stead, &c. And he is said to take awav the sin of lis
worlds not because all the world shall actually be redeemed
from sin by him ; but because, (I.) He has done and suffered
sufficient to answer for the sins of the world, and so to redeem
all mankind. (2.) He actually does take away the sins of the
elect world. And, IH. Considered how we are to behold him,
in order to have our sins taken away. (1.) Not with owtbodUy
eyes. Nor, (2.) By imagining him on the cross, &c. But by a
spiritual view of his glory and goodness, engaging the soul to
rely on him, &,c. — The divine presence attended this discourse ;
and the assembly was considerably melted with divine truths.
After sermon, baptized two persons. Then administered the
Lord's supper to near forty communicants, of the Indians, be-
sides divers dear Christians of the white people. It seemed to
be a season of divine power and grace ; and numbers seemed
to rejoice in God. O the sweet union and harmony then ap-
pearing among the religious people ! My soul was refreshed,
and my religious friends, of the white people, with me. After
the sacrament, could scarcely get home, though it was not more
than twenty roods ; but was supported and led by my friends,
and laid on my bed ; where I lay in pain till some time in the
evening ; and then was able to sit up and discourse with
friends. O how was this day spent in prayers and praises
among my dear people ! One might hear them, all the morn-
ing before public worship, and in the evening, till near mid-
M£HOIRS OF BRAINERD. 371
night, praying and singing prases to God, in one or other of
their houses. My soul was refreshed, though my body was
weak."
This week, in two days, though in a very low state, he went
to Elizabethtown, to attend the meeting of the Synod there :
but was disappointed by its removal to New- York. He con-
tinued in a very composed, comfortable frame of mind.
OcU 11. "Towards night was seized with an ague, which
was followed with a hard fever, and considerable pain ; was
treated with great kindness ; and was ashamed to see so much
concern about so unworthy a creature, as I knew myself to be.
Was in a comfortable frame of mind, wholly submissive, with
regard to life or death It was indeed a peculiar satisfaction
to me, to think, that it was not my concern or business to de-
termine whether J should live or die. I likewise felt peculiarly
satisfied, while under this uncommon degree of disorder;
being now fully convinced of my being really weak, and una-
ble to perform my work. Whereas at other times my mind
was perplexed with fears, that I was a misimprover of time, by
conceiting I was sick, when I was not in reality so. O how
precious is time ! And how guilty it makes me feel, when 1
think that I have trifled away and misimproved it, or neglected
to fill up each part of it with duty, to the utmost of my ability
and capacity !
Lord'^s day^ Oct. 12. " Was scarcely able to sit up in the
forenoon : in the afternoon, attended public worship, and was
in a composed, comfortable frame.
Lord'^s day^ Oct. 19. " Was scarcely able to do any thing at
all in the week past, except that on Thursday I rode out about
four miles ; at which time I took cold. As I was able to do lit-
tle or nothing, so I enjoved not much spirituality, or lively reli-
gious affection : though at some times I longed much to be
more fruitful and full of heavenly affection ; and was grieved to
gee the hours slide away, while I could do nothing for God.
Was able this week to attend public worship. Was composed
and comfortable, willing either to die or live ; but found it
hard to be reconciled to the thoughts of living useless. Oh
that I might never live to be a burden to God's creation ; but
that I might be allowed to repair home^ when my sojourning
work is done !"
This week, he went back to his Indians at Cranberry, to take
some care of their spiritual and temporal concerns ; and was
much spent with riding ; though he rode but a little way in a
dav.
372 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
Oct. 23. *^ Went to my own house, and set tbingB iii ofder.
Was very weak, and somewhat melancholy ; laboured to do
something, but had no strength ; and was forced to lie down on
my bed, very solitary.
Oct. 24. " Spent the day in overseeing and directuiff my
people, about mending their fence, and securing their \^at.
Found that all their concerns of a secular nature depended
upon me. Was somewhat refreshed in the evening, having
been able to do something valuable in the day time. O how it
pains me, to see time pass away, when I can do nothing to any
purpose !
Oct. 25. '' Visited some of my people ; spent some time in
writing, and felt much better in body, than usual. When it
was near night, I felt so well, that I had thoughts of expound-
ing ; but in the evening was much disordered again, and spent
the night in coughing and spittine blood.
Lord's day^ Oct. 26. ^^ In the morning was exceeding^
weak : spent the day, till near ni^ht, in pain, to see my poor
people wandering cls sheep not haxAng a shepherd^ waiting and
hopmg to see me able to preach to them before niffht - It
could not but distress me, to see them in this case, and to find
myself unable to attempt any thing for their spiritutd benefit —
But towards night, finding myself a little better, I called them
together to my house, and sat down, and read and expoondsd
Matth. V. I — 16. This discourse, though delivered m much
weakness, was attended with power to many of the hearers;
especially what was spoken upon the last of these verses ;
where I insisted on the infinite wrong done to religion, by ha-
ving our light beco.me darkness^ instead of shining before men.
Many in the congregation were now deeply affected with a
sense of their deficiency with respect to spiritual conversation,
which might recommend religion to others, and a spirit of con-
cern and watchfulness seemed to be excited in them. One, in
particular, who had fallen in the sin of drunkenness some time
before, was now deeply convinced of his sin, and the great dis-
honour done to religion by his misconduct, and discovered a
great degree of grief and concern on that account. My soul
was refreshed to see this. And though I had no strength to
speak so much as I would have done, but was obliged to lie
down on the bed ; yet I rejoiced to see such an humble melt-
ing in the congregation ; and that divine truths, though faintly
delivered, were attended with so much efficacy upon the audi-
tory.
Oct. 27. " Spent the day in overseeing and directing the
Indians about mending the fence round their wheat : was able
to walk with them, and contrive their business, all the fore-
noon. In the afternoon, was visited by two dear friends, and
spent some time in conversation with them. Towards night, 1
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 373
was able to walk out, and take care of the fndians again. In
the evening, eaioyed a very peaceful frame.
Oct. 28. " Rode to Princeton, in a very weak state ; had
such a violent fever, by the way, that I was forced to alight at
a friend's house, and lie down for some time. Near night,
was visited by Mr. Treat, Mr. Beaty, and his wife, and .another
friend. My spirits were refreshed to see them ; but I was sur-
prised, and even ashamed, that they had taken so much pains
as to ride thirty or forty miles to see me. Was able to sit up
most of the evening ; and spent the time in a very comfortable
manner with my friends.
Oct. 29. " Rode about ten miles with my friends who came
yesterday to see me ; and then parted with them all but one,
who stayed on purpose to keep me company, and cheer my
spirits. Was extremely weak, and very feverish, especially to-
wards night ; but enjoyed comfort and satisfaction.
Oct. 30. " Rode three or four miles, to visit Mr. Wales ;
spent some time, in an agreeable manner, in conversation ;
and though extremely weak, enjoyed a comfortable, composed
frame of mind.
Oct. 31. " Spent the day among friends, in a comfortable
frame of mind, though exceedingly weak, and under a conside-
rable fever.
Nov. I. " Took leave of friends, after having spent the
forenoon with them, and returned home to my own house.
Was much disordered in the evening, and oppressed with my
cough ; which has now been constant for a long time, with a
hard pain in my breast, and fever.
Lord^s day^ Nov. 2. *' Was unable to preach, and scarcely
able to sit up, the whole day. Was grieved, and almost sunk,
to see my poor people destitute of the means of grace ; espe-
cially as they could not read, and so were under great disad-
vantages for spending the Sabbath comfortably. O methought,
I could be contented to be sick, if my poor flock had a faithful
pastor to feed them with spiritual knowledge ! A view of
their want of this was more afflictive to me, than all my bodily
illness.
Nov. 3. " Being now in so weak and low a state, that I
was utterly incapable of performing my work, and having little
hope of recovery, unless by much riding, I thought it my duty
to take a long journey into New England, and to divert my-
self among my friends, whom I had not now seen for a long
time. Accordingly I took leave of my congregation this day.
Before I left my people, I visited them all m their respective
houses, and discoursed to each one, as I thought most proper
and suitable for their circumstances, and found great freedom
and assistance in so doing. I scarcely left one house but some
374 MEMOIRS OF BRAIKERD.
were in tears ; and many were not only affected with my being
about to leave them, but with the solemn addresses I made
them upon divine things ; for 1 was helped to be fervent in
spirit^ while I discoursed to them. — When I had thus gone
through my congregation, which took me most of the day, and
had taken leave of them, and of the school, i left home, and
rode about two miles, to the house where I lived in the summer
fast, and there lodged. Was refreshed, this evening, because
had left my congregation so well-disposed, and affected, an
had been so much assisted in making my farewell addresse
to them.
Nov. 4. " Rode to Woodbridge, and lodged with Mr. Pier-
son ; continuing still in a very weak state.
Nov, 5. ''*' Rode to Elizabethtown ; intending, as soon ks
possible, to prosecute my journey into New England. But was,
m an hour or two after my arrival, taken much worse.
'* After this, for near a week, I was confined to my chamber,
and most of the time to my bed : and then so far revived as to
be able to walk about the house ; but was still confined within
doors.
" In the beginning of this extraordinary turn of disorder,
after my coming to Elizabethtown, I was enabled through
mercy to maintain a calm, composed, and patient spirit, as I
had been before from the beginning of my weakness. After I
had been in Elizabethtown about a fortnight, and had so far re-
covered that I was able to walk about the house, upon a day of
thanksgiving kept in this place, 1 was enabled to recall and re-
count over the mercies of God, in such a manner as greatly af-
fected me, and filled me with thankfulness and praise. Espe-
cially my soul praised God for his work of grace among the
Indians, and the enlargement of his dear kingdom. My soul
blessed God for what he is in himself, and adored him, that he
ever would display himself to creatures. I rejoiced that he
was God, and longed that all should know it, and feel it, and
rejoice in it. ' Lord, glorify thyself,' was the desire and cry of
my soul. O that all people might love and and praise the
blessed God ; that he might have all possible honour and glory
from the intelligent world !
" After this comfortable thanksgiving season, I frequently
enjoyed freedom, enlargement, and engagedness of soul in
prayer, and was enabled to intercede with God for my dear
congregation, very often for every family, and every person, in
particular. It was often a great comfort to me, that I could
pray heartily to God for those, to whom I could not speak, and
whom I was not allowed to see. But at other times, my spirits
were so flat and low, and my bodily vigour so much wasted,
that I had scarce any affections at all."
MEMOIRS OF SRAINERD. 375
During his confinement at Elizabethtown, Brainerd wrote
the following letter to his youngest brother.
To his brother Isi'ael^ then a Student at Yale College^ JNew
Haven.
" Elizabethtown^ New Jersey^ Nov. 24, 1746.
"dear brother,
" I had determined to make you and my other friends in New
England a visit, this fall ; partly from an earnest desire I had to
see you and them, and partly with a view to the recovery of
my health ; which has, for more than three months past, been
much impaired. In order to prosecute this design, I set out
from my own people about three weeks ago, and came as far as
to this place : where, my disorder greatly increasing, I have
been obliged to keep house ever since, until the day before
yesterday; when I was able to ride about half a mile, but
found myself much tired with the journey. I have now no
hopes of prosecuting my journey into New England this win-
ter ; my present state of health will by no means admit of it.
Although I am, through divine goodness, much better than I
was some days ago ; yet I have not strength now to ride more
than ten miles a day, if the season were warm, and fit for me
to travel in. My disorder has been attended with several
symptoms of consumption ; and I have been at times appre-
hensive, that my great change was at hand : yet blessed be
God, I have never been affrighted ; but, on the contrary, at
times much delighted with a view of its approach. O the
blessedness of being delivered from the clogs of flesh and
sense, from a body of sin and spiritual death ! O the unspeak-
able sweetness of being translated into a state of complete
purity and perfection ! believe me, my brother, a lively view
and hope of these things, will make the king of terrors him-
self appear agreeable. Deai* brother, let me entreat you, to
keep eternity in your view, and behave yourself as becomes
one that must shortly 'give an account of things done in the
body.' That God may be your God, and prepare you for bis
service here, and his kingdom of glory hereafter, is the desire
and daily prayer of
" Your affectionate loving brother,
" DAVID BRAINERD."
" In December^ I had revived so far as to be able to walk
abroad, and visit my friends, and seemed to be on the gaining
hand with regard to my health, in the main, until Lord's day,
December 21. At which time I went to the public worship,
and it being sacrament day, I laboured much at the Lord's ta-
876 MXMOiRS dr beainbrd.
ble to bring forth a certain corruption, and have it <2am, as be-
ing an enemy to God and my own soul ; and could not but
hope, that I had gained some strength against this, as well as
other corruptions ; and felt some brokenness of heart for mj
sin.
^ After this, having perhaps taken some cold, I began to de-
cline as to bodily health ; and continued to do so, till the latter
end of January, 1747. Having a violent cough, a considerable
fever, an asthmatic disorder, and no appetite for any manner
of food, nor bby power of digestion, I was reduced to so low a
state, that my friends, I believe, generally despaired of my life;,
and sonhe of them, for some time together, thought I codd
scarce live a day. At this time, I could think of nothing, with
anjr application of mind, and seemed to be in a great measure
void orall affection, and was exercised with great temptatioiis;
but yet was not, ordinarily, afraid of death.
Lord*s day^ Feb. 1. ^ Though in a very weak and low stated
I enjoyed a considerable decree of comfort and sweetness in
divine things ; and was enabled to plead and use argumenti
with God in prayer, I think, with a childJike spirit That pas-
sage of scripture occurred to my mind, and g^ve me great as-
sistance, * If ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to
your children, how much more will your heavenly Father jgife
the holy Spuit to them ttiat ask him V This text I was he^ed
to plead, and insist upon ; and saw the divine faithfiilness en^
eaged for dealine with me better than any earthly pia^nt can
do with his child. This season so refreshed my soul, that^my
body seemed also to be a gainer by it. From this time, I be-
gan gradually to amend. As J recovered some strength, vi-
gour, and spirit, I found at times some freedom and life in the
exercises of devotion, and some longings afler spirituality and
a life of usefulness to the interests of the ^reat Redeemer. At
other times, I was awfully barren and lifeless, and out of frame
for the things of God ; so that I was ready often to cry out,
' Oh that it were with me as in months past !' Oh that God
had taken me away in the midst of my usefulness, with a sudden
stroke, that I might not have been under a necessity of trifling
away time in diversions ! Oh that I had never lived to spend
so much precious time; in so poor a manner, and to so little
purpose ! Thus 1 often reflected, was grieved, ashamed, and
even confounded, sunk and discouraged.
Feb, 24. " I was able to ride as far as Newark, (having been
confined within Elizabethtown almost four months,) and the
next day returned to Elizabethtown. My spirits were some-
what refreshed with the ride, though my body was weary.
Feb. 28. " Was visited by an Indian of my own congrega-
tion, who brought me letters, and good news of the sober and
good behaviour of my people in general. This refreshed my
MEMOIRS OP BRAINERD. Sfjl
soul. I could not but soon retire, and bless God for his good-
ness ; and found, I trust, a truly thankful frame of spirit, that
God seemed to be building up that congregation for himself.
March 4. " I met with reproof from a friend, which, al-
though I thought I did not deserve it from him, yet was, I trust,
blessed of God to make me more tenderly afraid of sin, more
jealous over myself, and more concerned to keep both heart
and life pure and unblameable. It likewise caused me to reflect
on my past deadness and wantof spirituahty, and to abhor my-
self, and look on myself as most unworthy. This frame of mind
continued the next day ; and for several days after, I grieved
to think, that in my necessary diversions 1 had not maintained
more seriousness, solemnity, heavenly affection, and conversa-
tion. Thus my spirits were often depressed and sunk ; and
yet, I trust, that reproof was made to be beneficial to me.
" March 11 being kept in Elizabethtown as a day of fasting
and prayer, I was able to attend public worship ; which was
the first time I had been able so to do since December 21. O,
how much weakness and distress did God carry me through in
this space of time ! But hftving obtained help from Atwi, I yet
live. Oh that I could live more to his glory !
hordes day^ March 15. " Was able again to attend public
worship, and felt some earnest desires of being restored to the
ministerial work : felt, I think, some spirit and life, to speak for
God.
March 18. " Rode out with a design to visit my people ;
and the next day arrived among them : but was under great
dejection in my journey.
" On Friday morning, I rose early, walked about among
my people, and inquired into their state and concerns ; and
found an additional weight and burden on my spirits^ upon
hearing some things disagreeable. 1 endeavoured to go to God
with my distresses, and made some kind of lamentable com-
plaint ; and in a broken manner spread my difficulties before
God : but notwithstanding, my mind continued very gloomy.
About ten o'clock I called my people together, and after
having explained and sung a psalm, 1 prayed with them. There
was a considerable deal of affection among them ; I doubt not^
in some instances, that which was more than merely natural."
This was the last interview which he ever had with his people.
Vol. X. 48
■nil*
CHAPTER XII.
JFVoni the terminaiitm of his Missionary Labours to his Death,
On Friday, March 20, 1747, about 11 A. M. he left Croh
berry ; little suspecting that he saw it and his beloYed people
for we last time. On Saturday, he came to Elizabethtown,
enfeebled in health, and oppressed with melancholy. Here he
continued a considerable time, labouring under the raiBges cf
disease, and suiTering from extreme depression of spirit.
March 28. ^^ Was taken this morning with violent griping
pains. These pains were extreme, and constant fin* aev^u
nours ; so that it seemed impossible for me, without a miracle,
to live twenty-four hours in such distress. I lav coniSned to mj
bed the whole day, and in distressing pain, all the former part
of it ; but it pleased God to bless means for the abatement id
my distress. Was exceedingly weakened by this pain, and oon-
tinned so for several days following ; being exercised with a fe-
. ver, cough, and nocturnal sweats. In this distressed case, so
long as mv head was free of vapoury confusions, death spear-
ed agreeaole to me. I looked on it as the end of toils, and an
entrance into a place ^ where the weary are at rest ;^ and think
I had some relish for the entertainments of the heavenly state ;
so that by these I was allured and drawn, as well as driven by
the fatigues of life. O, how happy it is, to be drawn by desires
of a state of perfect holiness !
April 4. " Was sunk and dejected, very restless and un-
easy, by reason of the misimprovement of time; and yet knew
not what to do. I longed to spend time in fasting and prayer,
that I might be delivered from indolence and coldness in the
things of God; but, alas, I had not bodily strength for these
exercises ! O, how blessed a thing it is to enjoy peace of con-
science ! but how dreadful is a want of inward peace and com-
posure of soul ! It is impossible, I find, to enjoy this happi-
ness without redeeming time^ and maintaining a spiritual frame
of mind.
Lard's day^ April 5. " It grieved me to find myself so in-
conceivably barren. My soul thirsted for grace ; but, alas, how
far was I from obtaining what appeared to nie so exceeding ex-
cellent ! I was ready to despair of ever being a holy creature,
and yet my soul was desirous oi following hard after God; but
never did f see myself so far from having apprehended^ or being
MEMQIRS or BRAIXKRD. 379
already perfect^ as at this time. The Lord's supper being this
day administered, I attended the ordinance : and though I saw
in myself a dreadful emptiness, and want of grace, and saw my-
self as it were at an infinite distance from that purity which be-
comes the gospel, yet at the communion, especially at the dis-
tribution of the bread, I enjoyed some warmth of affection, and
felt a lender love to the brethren ; and, I think, to the glorious
Redeemer, ih^ first bom among them. I endeavoured then to
bring forth mine and his enemies^ and slay them before him ;
and found great freedom in begging deliverance from this spi-
ritual death, as well as in asking divine favours for my friends
and congregation, and the church of Christ in general.
April 7. " In the afternoon rode to Newark, to marry the
Rev. Mr. Dickinson ;* and in the evening, performed rhat ser-
vice. Afterwards, rode home to Elizabethtown, in a pleasant
frame, full of composure and sweetness.
April 9. " Attended the ordination of Mr. Tucker,t and af-
terwards the examination of Mr. Smith : was in a comfortable
frame of mind this day, and felt my heart, I think, sometimes
in a spiritual frame.
April 10. " Spent the forenoon in Presbyterial business. In
the afternoon, rode to Elizabethtown ; found my brother John
there :J spent some time in conversation with him ; but was
extremely weak and outdone, my spirits considerably sunk, and
my mind dejected.
April 13. " Assisted in exa^mining my brother. In the eve-'
ning, was in a solemn, devout frame ; but was much overdone
and oppressed with a violent head-ach.
April 14. " Was able to do little or nothing: spent some
time with Mr. Byram and other friends. This day my brother
went to my people.
April 15. " Found some freedom at the throne of grace se-
veral times this day. In the afternoon, was very weak, and
* The late learned and very excellent Mr. Jonathan Dickinson, pastor of a
church in Elizabethtown, president of the coUeg^e of New-Jersey, and one of the
correspondents of the honourable society in Scotland for propagating christian
knowledge. He had a great esteem for Brains rd ; kindly entertained him in
his house during his sickness the winter past ; and after a short illness, died the
ensuing October, two days before Brainerd.
t A worthy pious young gentleman ; who lived in the ministry but a very
short time : he died at Stratfield, in Connecticut, the December following his
ordination, a little while after Brainerd's death at Northampton. He was taken
ill on a journey, returning from a visit to his friends at Milton in Massachusetts,
which, as I take it, was his native place, and Harvard College the place of his
education.
t This brother of his had been sent for by the correspondents^ to take care of,
and instruct Brainerd's congregation of Indians; he being obliged by his illness
to be absent from them. He continued to take care of them till Brainerd's
death : and since his death, has been ordained his successor in his mission, and to
the charge of his congregation ; which continues much to flourish under his pasf>
' toral care.
380 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
spent the time to very little purpose ; yet in the evening, had,
I thought, some religious warmth and spiritual desires in prayer.
My soul seemed to go forth after God, and take complacence
in his divine perfections. * But, alas ! afterwards awfully let
down my watch, and grew careless and secure.
April 16. '^ Was in bitter anguish of soul, in the morning,
such as I have scarce ever felt, with a sense of sin and guilt. L
continued in distress the whole day, attempting to prajr^
wherever I went ; and indeed could not help so doing ; bu^
looked upon myself so vile, that I dared not look any body ii^
the face ; and was even grieved, that any body should show m^
any respect, or that they should be. so deceived as to think 1
deserved it.
April 17. " In the evening, could not but think, that God
helped me to ' draw near to the throne of grace,' though most
unworthy, and gave me a sense of his favour ; which gave me
inexpressible support and encouragement. Though I scarcely
dared to hope that the mercy was real, it appeared so great;
yet could not but rejoice, that ever God should discover bis re-
conciled face to such a vile sinner. Shame and confusion, at
times, covered me ; and then hope, and joy, and admiration of
divine goodness gained the ascendant. Sometimes I could not
but admire the divine goodness, that the Lord had not let me
fall into all the grossest, vilest acts of sins and open scandal,
that could be thought of; and felt so much necessitated to
•praise God, that this was ready for a little while to swallow up
my shame and pressure of spirit on account of my sins."
After this, his dejection and pressure of spirit returned ; and
he remained under it the two next days.
April 20. '* Was in a very disordered state, and kept my
bed most of the day. I enjoyed a little more comfort, than in
several of the preceding days. This day I arrived at the age
of twenty-nine years,
April2l, " I set out on my journey for New England, in
order, (if it might be the will of God,) to recover my health by
riding; travelled to New York, and there lodged."
This proved his final departure from New-Jersey. — He tra-
velled slowly, and arrived among his friends at East-Haddara,
about the beginning of May. There is very little account in
his dia7y of the time that passed from his setting out on his
journey to May 10. He speaks of his sometimes finding his
heart rejoicing in the glorious perfections of God, and longing
to live to him ; but complains of the unfixedness of his thoughts,
and their being easily diverted from divine subjects, and cries
out of his leanness, as testifying against him, in the loudest
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 381
manner. Concerning those diversions which he was obliged
to u«e for his health, he sa^s, that he sometimes found he
oould use diversions with '* smgleness of heart," aiming at the
glory of God ; but that he also found there was a necessity of
^eat care and watchfulness, lest he should lose that spiritual
temper of mind in his diversions, and lest they should degene-
rate into what was merely selfish, without any supreme aim at
the glory of God in them.
Lord's day. May 10. " (At Had-Lime.*") I could not but
feel some measure of gratitude to God at this time, wherein I
was much exercised, that he had always disposed me, in my
ministry, to insist on the greatest doctrines oi regeneration, the
new creature, faith in Christ, progressive sanctijication, supreme
love to God, living entirely to the glory of God, being not our
own, and the like. God thus helped me to see, in the surest
manner, from time to time, that these, and the like doctrines
necessarily connected with them, are the only foundation of
safety and salvation for perishing sinners ; audf that those di-
vine dispositions, which are consonant hereto, are that holiness,
' without which no man shall see the Lord.' The exercise of
these godlike tempers — wherein the soul acts in a kind of con-
cert with God, and would be and do every thing that is pleasing
to him — 1 saw, would stand by the soul in a dying hour; for
God must, I think, deny himself, if he cast away his own image,
even the soul that is one in desires with himself.
Lord'^s day. May 17. " (At Millington.t) Spent the fore-
noon at home, being unable to attend public worship. At this
time, God gave me such an affecting sense of my own vileness,
and the exceeding sinfulness of my heart, that there seemed to
be nothing but sin and corruption within me. ^ Innumerable
evils compassed me about ;' my want of spirituality and holy
living, my neglect of God, and living to myself. — AH the abo-
minations of my heart and life seemed to be open to my view ;
and I had nothing to say, but, ' God be merciful to me a sin-
ner.' — Towards noon, I saw, that the grace of God in Christ, is
infinitely free towards sinners, and such sinners as I was. I
also saw, that God is the supreme good, that in his presence is
life ; and I began to long to die, that I might 6^ with him, in a
state of freedom from all sin. O how a small glimpse of his ex-
cellency refreshed my soul ! Oh how worthy is the blessed
God to be loved, adored, and delighted in, for himself, for his
own divine excellencies I
" Though I felt much dulness, and want of a spirit of prayer,
this week, yet I had some glimpses of the excellency of di-
^ A parish of Haddam, in Connecticut.
t A parish of East-Haddam* in Connecticut.
382 MEMOIRS OF BRAINfiRD.
vine things ; and especially one mornins, in secret meditation
and prayer, the excellency and beauty of holiness, as a likeness
to the glorious God, was so discovered to me, that I began to
long earnestly to be in that world where holiness dwells in
perfection. I seemed to long for this perfect holiness, not so
much for the sake of my own happiness, although I saw clear-
ly that this was the greatest, yea, the only happiness of the soul,
as that 1 mi<i:ht please God, live entirely to him, and glorify him
to the utmost stretch of my rational powers and capacities.
LoriPs day^ May 24. " (At Long-Meadow.*) Could not
but think, as 1 have often remarked to others, that much -more
of true religion consists in deep humility^ brokenness of hearty
and an abasing sense of barrenness and want of grace and ho-
liness^ than most who are called Christians^ imagine ; especial-
ly those who have been esteemed the converts of the late day.
Many seem to know of no other religion but elevated ^'ojff and
affections^ arising only from some flights of imagination^ or
some suggestion made to their mind, of Christ being theirs^
God loving them^ and the Hke."
Oh Thursday, May 28, he came from Long-Meadow to
Northampton ; appearing vastly better than, by his account,
he had been in the winter ; indeed, so well that he was able to
ride twenty-five miles in a day, and to walk half a mile ; and
appeared cheerful, and free from melancholy : but yet undoubt-
edly, at that time, in a confirmed, incurable consumption.
I had much opportunity, before this, of particular informatioD
concerning him, from many who were well acquainted with
him ; and had myself once an opportunity of considerable con-
vf rsation and some acquaintance with him, at Hew-Haven, near
four years before, at the time of the commencement^ when he of-
fered that confession to the rector of the college, which has
been already mentioned in this history ; having been one
whom he was pleased then several times to consult on that af-
fair : but now I had opportunity for a more full acquaintance
with him. I found him remarkably sociable, pleasant and en-
tertaining in his conversation ; yet solid, savoury, spiritual, and
very profitable. He appeared meek, modest, and humble ; far
from any stiffness, moroseness, superstitious demureness, or af-
fected singularity in speech or behaviour, and seeming to dis-
like all such things. We enjoyed not only the benefit of his
conversation, but had the comfort and advantage of hearing him
pray in the family, from time to time. His manner of praying
was very agreeable ; most becoming a worm of the dust, and
a disciple of Christ, addressing an infinitely great and holy
God, the Father of mercies ; not with florid expressions, or a
* In Massachusetts.
MEMOIES OF MAINERd/ 383
studied eloquence ; not with any intemperate vehemence, or
indecent boldness. It was at the greatest distance from any
appearance of ostentation, and from every thing that might look
as though he meant to recommend himself to those that were
about him, or set himself off to their acceptance. It was free
also from vain repetitions, without impertinent excursions, or
needless multiplying of words. He expressed himself with the
strictest propriety, with weight and pungency ; and yet what his
lips uttered seem to flow from the fulness of his hearty as deep-
ly impressed with a great and solemn sense of our necessities,
unworthiness, and dependence, and of God^s infinite greatness,
excellency, and sufficiency, rather than merely from a warm and
fruitful brain, pouring out good expressions. I know not that I
ever heard him so much as ask a blessing or return thanks at
table, but there was something remarkable to be observed both
in the matter and manner of the performance. In his prayers,
he insisted much on the prosperity of Zion, the advancement of
Christ^s kingdom in the world, and the flourishing and propa-
gation of religion among the Indians. And he generally made
it one petition in his prayer, ^^ that we might not outlive our
usefiilness.^'
hordes day ^ Mayil. " [At Northampton.] I had little in-
ward sweetness in religion, most of the week past ; not re-
alizing and beholding spiritually the glory of God^ and the
blessed Redeemer ; from whence always arise my comforts and
joys in religion, if I have any at all : and if I cannot so behold
the excellencies and perfections of God, as to cause me to re-
joice in him for what he is in himself I have no solid foundation
for joy. To rejoice, only because I.apprehend I have an interest,
in Christy and shall be finally saved, is a poor mean business
indeed."
This week, he consulted Dr. Mather, at my house, concern-
ing his illness ; who plainly told him, that there were great
evidences of his being in a confirmed consumption^ and that he
could give him no encouragement, that he should ever recover.
But it seemed not to occasion the least discomposure in him,
nor to make any manner of alteration as to the cheerfulness
and serenity of his mind, or the freedom or pleasantness of his
conversation.
Lord^s day^ June 7. " My attention was greatly engaged,
and my soul so drawn forth, this day, by what I heard of the
* exceeding preciousness of the saving grace of God's Spirit,'
that it almost overcame my body, in my weak state. I saw
that true grace is exceedingly precious indeed ; that it is very
rare ; and that there is but a very small degree of it, even
3S4 ]ISM#IE8 #F BAAina».
whete the rMlity 6f it is to be fowid; at least I taw this to be
nijf case.
•* In the pieceding week, I enjoyed some comfortable «e^
sons of meditation. One morning, the cause of God ap peal e d
exceedingly precious, to me. The Redeemer^ kingdom is aU
that is valuaole in the earth, and I could not but long fiir die
S 'emotion of it in the world. I saw, also, that this cause ii
odVi, that he has an infinitely greater regard and concern for
it, than 1 could possibly have ;. that if I mve any true love ta
this blessed interest it. is only a drop derived firom that ocealk.
promote it.* Thus I did as it were^ rest on Itod that m
surely promote that which was so agreeable to his own wilf.
though the time when, must still be 1^ to his sov<er^|n friM^
sure."'
He was advised by physicians still to continue riding} si'
what would tend, above any other means, to prolonff Us fife^
He was at a loss, for some time, which way to bend his ooini
next ; but finally determined to ride from hence to Bosloii r irt
having concluded that one of our faqiily should go with iiifl|»^
and be hdpful to him in his weak and low state.
fynt 9. ^ I set out on a journey firom Northampton to JBss*
ton. Travelled slowly, and got some acquaintance with, fi-
vers ministers on the road.
*^ Having now continued to ride for some considerable time
together, I felt myself much better than I had formerly done;
and found, that in proportion to the prospect I had of being le-
stored to a state of usefiilness, so I desired the continuance of
life ; but death appeared inconceivably more desirable to me,
than a useless life ; yet, blessed be God, I found my heart, at
times, fully resi/s:ned and reconciled to this greatest of afflic-
tions, if God saw fit thus to deal with me.
June 12. ^^ I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat fatmied
with my journey. Observed that there is no rest^ but in God ;
fatigues of body, and anxieties of mind, attend us both in town
and country ; no place is exempted.
hordes day^ June 14. " I enjoyed some enlargement and
sweetness in family prayer, as well as in secret exercises ; God
appeared excellent, his ways full of pleasure and peace, and all
I wanted was a spirit of holy fervency, to live to him.
June 17. " This and the two preceding days, I spent mainly
in visiting the ministers of the town, and was treated with great
respect by them.
June 18. " I was taken exceedingly ill, and brou^t to the
gates of death by the breaking of small ulcers in my lungs, as
MEMOIRS OF BEAIN£R1>. 385
my physician supposed. In this extremely weak state, I con-
tinued for several weeks, and was frequently reduced so low, as
to be utterly speechless, and not able so much as to whisper a
word. Even after I had so far revived, as to walk about the
house, and to step out of doors, 1 was exercised every day with
a faint turn, which continued usually four or five hours : at
which times, though I was not so utterly speechless, but that 1
could say Yes, or rf o, yet I could not converse at all, nor speak
one sentence, without making stops for breath ; and divers times
this season my friends gathered round my bed, to see me breathe
my last, which they expected every moment, as I myself also
did. /
"How I was, the first day or two of my illness with regard to
the exercise of reason, I scarcely know. I believe I was.
somewhat shattered with the violence of the fever at times ; but
the third day of my illness, and constantly afterwards, for four
or five weeks together, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind, anfl
clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in my life. I think
that my mind never penetrated with so much ease and freedom
into divine things, as at this time ; and I never felt so capable of
demonstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gos-
pel, as now. As I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrmes
which are justly styled the doctrines of grace so I saw with no
less clearness, that the essence of religion consisted in the souPs
conformity to God^ and acting above all selfish views, for his glo-
ry^ longing to be for him to live to him, and please and honour
him in all things ; and this from a clear view of his infinite excel-
lency and worthiness in himself, to be loved, adored, worshipped
and served by all intelligent creatures. Thus I saw, that when
a soul loves God with a supreme love, he therein acts like the
blessed God himself who most justly loves himself in that man-
ner. So when God's interest and his are become one, and he
longs that God should be glorified, and rejoices to think that
he is unchangeably possessed of the highest glory and blessed-
ness herein also he acts in conformity to God. In like manner
when the soul is i\i\[y resigned to, and rests satisfied and contents
with the divine will, here it is also conformed to God.
** I saw further, that as this divine temper, by which the soul
exalts God, and treads self in the dust, is wrought in the soul by
God's discovering his own glorious perfections in the face of
Jesus Christ to it, by the special influences of the holy Spirit, so
he cannot but have regard to it^ as his own work ; and as it is
his image in the soul, he cannot but take delight in it. Then I
saw again, that if God should slight and reject his own moral
image^ he must needs deny himself^ which he cannot do.
And thus I saw the stability andiiifallibility of this religion and
that those who are truly possessed of it, have the most complete
and satisfying evidence of their being interested in all the bene-
VoL. X. 49
386 MEMOIRS OF BRAINSRD*
fits of Christ's redemption, having their hearts conformed to him ;
and that these, these only, are (}ualified for the employments
and entertainments of God's kmgdom of glory ; aa ncme bat
these have any relish for the business of heaven, which is to as-
cribe fflory to God, and not to themselves; and that God
(though I would speak it with great reverence of hiq name
and perfection) cannot, without denying himself, finally cast
such away.
«^ The next thing I had then to do, was to inquire^ whethsr
this was my religion : and here God was pleased to help me Is
the most easy remembrance and critical review of wnat had
itassed in course of a relisious nature, through several of tho
atter years of my life. Although I could discover mach c(X<*
ruption attending my best duties, many selfish views and carnal
ends, much spiritual pride and self-exaltation, and innumflnUe
other evils which compassed me about ; yet God was pleased,
us I was reviewing, quickly to put this^uestion out of doubt, iqr
showing me, that 1 had, from tmie to time, acted above the qI*
most i^uence of mere self-love ; that 1 had longed to please
and glorify him, as my highest happiness, &C. This review was
through grace attended with a present feeling of the aamedi*
vine temper of mind I felt now pleased, to mink of the i ~
of God, and longed for heaven, as a state wherein I might gi
God perfectly, rather than a place of happiness for mye
This feeling of the love of God in my heart, which I trust Hie
Spirit of God excited in me afresh, was sufficient to give me a
full satisfaction, and make me long, as I had many times befbie
done, to be with Christ. I did not now want any of the suddm
suggestions^ which many are so pleased with, ' That Christ and
his benefits are mine ; that God loves me,^ &c. in order to
give me satijsfaction about my state. No, my soul now abhor-
red those delusions of Satan^ which are thought to be the immS'
diate witness of the Spirit^ while there is nothing but an empty
suggestion of a certain fact, without any gracious discovery of
the divine glory ^ or of the SpiriVs work in their own hearts.
I daw the awful delusion of this kind of confidenc5e, as well as
of the whole ofthat religion, from which they usually spring, or
at least of which they are the attendants. The fiuse religion
of the late day, though a day of wondrous grace, the imaginO'
tions^ and impressions made only on the animal affections-
together with the sudden suggestions made to the mind by Sa-
tan^ transformed into an angel of lights of certain facts not re-
vealed in scripture — and many such like things, I fear have
made up the greater part of the religious appearance in many
places.
" These things I saw with great clearness, when 1 was
thought to be dying. God gave me great concern for his
church and mterest in the world, at this time; not so much be-
MEMOIRS or BRAIN£RD. 387
cause the late remarkable influence upon the minds of people
was abated, as because that false religion — those hearts of
imagination, and wild and selfish commotions of the animal
affections — which attended the work of grace, had prevailed so
fer. This was that which my mind dwelt upon, almost day
and night ; and this^ to me, was the darkest appearance, re-
specting religion, in the land ; for it was this^ chiefly, that had
prejudiced the world against inward religion. And 1 saw the
great misery of all was, that so few saw any manner of dif-
ference between those exercises which are spiritual and holy,
and those which ha\e self love only for their beginning, centre,
and end.
** As God was pleased to afford me clearness of thought, and
composure of mind, almost continually, for several weeks to-
gether, under my great weakness, so he enabled me, in some
measure, to improve my time, as, I hope, to valuable purposes.
I was enabled to write a number of important letters, to friends
in remote places : and sometimes I wrote when I was speech-
less, u e. unable to maintain conversation with any body ;
thoueh perhaps I was able to speak a word or two so as to be
heari"
Among the letters written at this period, were the following.
The reader will perceive that they were written by one, con-
scious that he was standing on the verge of the grave, and
realizing, in no ordinary degree, the infinite importance of
et^nity.
To his brother Israel^ at College : written in the time of his ex-
treme illness in Boston^ a few months before his death.
" Boston, June 30, 1747.
" My dear brother,
** It is on the verge of Eternity I now address you. I am
heartily sorry that I have so little strength to write what I long
so much to communicate to you. But, let me tell you, my
brother. Eternity is another thing than we ordinarily take it to
be in a healthful state. O, how vast and boundless ! O, how
fixed and unalterable ! O, of what infinite importance is it,
that we be prepared for Eternity! I have been just a dying,
now for more than a week ; and all around me have thought
me so. I have had clear views of Eternity ; have seen the
blessedness of the godly ^ in some measure ; and have longed
to share their happy state ; as well as been comfortably satis-
fied, that through grace, I shall do so : but O, what anguish is
388 MKMOiRs or BRAlHSaO.
raised in mv mind, to think of E^ermiy for those who are
ChrUtless^ for those who are mistaken, and who bring their
false hopes to the grave with them ! The sight was so dread*
ful, I could by no meanil bear it : my thoughts recoiled, and I
said, under a more affecting sense than ever before, * Who can
dwell with everlasting burnings V O, methought, could I now
see my friends, that I might warn them to see to it, that they
lay their foundation for Eternity sure. And for you, my dear
brother, I have been particularly concerned.; and hare won-
dered I so miich neglected conversing with you about your
spiritual state at our last meeting. O, my brother, let me thm
beseech you now to examine, whether you are indeed a wem
creature ? whether you have ever acted above ^dff whethet
the glory of God has ever been the sweetest and Ei^iest Gonr
cem witn you ? whether you have ever been reeoBcded to all
the perfections of God I in a w(Hrd, whether God has bean
{our j9arlton, and a holy cmfarmiijf to him your chief delight f
f you cannot answer positively, consider seriously the frameol
breathings of your soul ; but do not, however, jrat youraelf dff
vdth a slight answer* If you have reason to think you am
graceless^ O, give yourself and the throne of grace no re8t,.t3l
God arise and save. But if the case should be otherwise, UasB
God for his ffrace, and press after holiness.*
^ My soul longs, that you shoidd be fitted finr, and in die
time go into the work of the minutry. I cannot bear to thiid[
of your going into any other business in life. Do not be dn-
couraged, because you see your elder brothers in the ministiy
die early ^ one after another. I declare, now I am dying, 1
would not have spent my life otherwise for the whole world.
But I must leave this with God.
" If this line should come to your hands soon after the date,
I should be almost desirous you should set out on a journey to
me : it may be you may see me alive ; which I should much re-
joice in. But if you cannot come, 1 must commit you to the
grace of God, where you are. May he be your guide and coun-
sellor, your sanctifier and eternal portion !
I " O, my dear brother, flee fleshly lusts^ and the enchanting
amusements^ as well as corrupt doctrines of the present day, and
strive to live to God. Take this as the last line firom
" Your afiectionate dying brother,
" DAVID BRAINERD."
* Braiitbrd afterwards had g^reater satisfaction concerning; the state of
bis brother's soul, by much opportunity of conversation with him before bis
death.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINEIiD. 389
To a young gentleman^ a candidate for the work of the minis-
^'y* for whom he had a special friendship ; cdso written at
the same time of his great illness and nearness to deaths in
Boston.
** Very dear sir,
" How amazing it is, that the livings who know they must
diej should, notwithstanding, ' put far away the evil,^ in a sea-
son of health and prosperity ; and live at such an awful dis-
tance from a. familiarity with the grave, and the great concerns
beyond it ! Especially, it may justly fill us with surprise, that
any whose minds have been divinely enlightened to behold the
important things of eternity as they are, 1 say, that such should
live in this manner. And yet. Sir, how frequently is this the
case 1 How rare are the instances of those who live and act,
from day to day, as on the verge of Eternity^ striving to fill up
all their remaining moments, in the service and to the honour
of their great Master ! We insensibly trifle away time^ while we
seem to iiave enough of it ; and are so strangely amused, as in
a great measure to lose a sense of the holiness and blessed
qualifications necessary to prepare us to be inhabitants of the
Yie^.ven\y paradise. But O, dear Sir, a dying bed^ if we enjoy
our reason clearly, will give another view of things. I have
now, for more than three weeks, lain under the greatest degree
of weakness ; the greater part of the time, expecting daily and
hourly to enter into the eternal world : sometimes have been
so far gone, as to be wholly speechless, for some hours together.
O, of what vast importance has a holy spiritual life appeared
to me at this season ! I have longed to call upon all my friends,
to make it their business to live to God^ and especially all that
are designed for, or engaged in the service of the sanctuary.
O, dear Sir, do not think it enough, to live at the rate of com-
mon Christians. Alas, to how little purpose do they often con-
verse, when they meet together ! The visits^ even of those
who are called christians indeed, are frequently extremely bar-
ren : and conscience cannot but condemn us for the misim-
Srovement of time, while we have been conversant with them.
iut the way to enjoy the divine presence, and to be fitted for
distinguishing service for God, is to live a life of great devotion
and constant self-dedication to him ; observing the motions and
dispositions of our own hearts, whence we may learn the cor-
ruptions that lodge there, and our constant need of help from
God for the performance of the least duty. And O, dear Sir,
let me beseech you frequently to attend to the great and pre-
cious duties of secret fasting and prayer.
*^ I have a secret thought, from some things I have observed,
that God may perhaps design you for some singular service in
390 xExoiES or braiitxr]).
the world. O then labour to be prepared and qaalified to do
much for God. Read Mr. Edwards* piece on tte affections,
again and again ; and labour to distinguish clearly upon ex*
periences and affections in reliffion, that you may make a dif-
ference between the gold and the shining dross. I say, labour
here, if ever you would be an useful minister of Christ ; for
nothing has put such a stop to the work of God in the late day
as the false religion, and the wild affections which attend it
Suffer me, therefore, finally to entreat you earnestly to * ffive
yourself to prayer, to reading and meditation on divine trums:*
strive to penevate to the bottom of them, and never be con-
tent with a ^perficial knowledge. By this means, your
thoughts will gradually gjow weiffhtv and judicious ; and jrou
hereby will be possessed of a vamaole treasure, ofut of which
you may produce * things new and old,' to the fflory of Godr
^ And now, * I commend you to the grace ofGod/ earnestly
desiring, that a plentiful ]>ortion of the divine Spirit mjaj rest
upon you ; that you may live to Ood in etertf capacity or lifi^
and do abundant service for him in a pubbc one, if it be hk
will ; and that you may be richly qualified for the * inh^tanee
of the saints in iight* — ^I scarce expect to see yoiir fivse any
more in the body, and therefore entreat you to accept tbis as
the last token of love, fi'om
^' Your sincerely affectionate dying firiend,
" DAVID BRAINERD."
" P. S. I am now, at the dating of this letter, considerably
recovered from what I was when I wrote it ; it having lain by
me for some time, for want of an opportunity of conveyance ;
it was written in Boston. — I am now able to ride a little, and
so am removed into the country ; but have no more expecta-
tion of recovering than when I wrote, though I am a little bet-
ter for the present ; and therefore I still subscribe myself,
" Your dying friend, &c.
« D. B."
To his brother John, at Bethel, the town of Christian Indians,
in New-Jersey ^ written likewise at Boston, when he was
there on the brink of the grave, in the summer before his
death,
" DEAR BROTHER,
I am now just on the verge of Eternity, expecting very spee-
dily to appear in the unseen world. I feel myself no more an
inhabitant of earth, and sometimes earnestly long to ^ depart
and be with Christ' I bless God, he has for some years given
me an abiding conviction, that it is impossible for any rational
Memoirs of brainerd. 391
creature to enjoy true happiness^ without being entirely * de-
voted to him/ Under the influence of this conviction 1 have
in some measure acted. Oh that I had done more so I I saw
both the excellency and necessity of holiness in life ; but never
in such a manner as now, when I am just brought from the
sides of the grave. O, my brother, pursue after holiness ; press
towards this blessed mark ; and let vour thirsty soul continual-
ly say, ^ i shall never be satisfied till I awake in thy likeness/
Although there has been a great deal of selfishness in my
views, of which I am ashamed, and for which my soul is hum-
bled at every view ; yet, blessed be God, I find I have really
had, for the most part, such a concern for his glory ^ and the
advancement of his kingdom in the world, that it is a satisfaction
to me to reflect upon these years,
" And now, my dear brother, as I must press you to pursue
B&er personal holiness, to be as much in fasting and prayer as
your health will allow, and to live above the rate of common
christicms ; so I must entreat you solemnly to attend to your
public work ; labour to distinguish between true B.nd false reli-
gion ; and to that end, watch the motions of God's spirit upon
your own heart. Look to him for help ; and impartially com-
pare your experiences with his word. Read Mr. Edwards on
the ejections; where the essence and soul of religion is clear-
ly distinguished from false affections.^ Value religious Joy^
according to the subject-matter of them : there are many wno
rejoice in their supposed justification ; but what do these joys
ar^e, but only that they love themselves ? Whereas, in true
spuitual joys, the soul rejoices in God for what he is in himself^
blesses God for his holiness, sovereignty, power, faithfulness,
and all his perfections ; adores God, that he is what he is, that
he is unchangeably possessed of infinite glory and happiness.
^ I had at first fally intended, in publishing; this and the foreg^oing; letters, to
have suppressed these passages "wherein my name is mentioned, and my discourse
on religious affections recommended ; and am sensible, that by my doing; other-
-wise; I shall bring apon me the reproach of some. But how much soever I may
be pleased vrith the commendations of any performance of mine, (and I confess
I esteem the judgment and approbation of such a person as Brainerd worthy
to-be valued, and look on myself as highly honoured by it,) yet I can truly say,
the things that governed me in altering my forementioned determination -with
respect to these passages, were these two. (1.) What Braifterd here says of
that discourse, shows very fully and particularly what his notions were of ex-
perimental religion, and the nature of true piety, and how far he was from
placing it in impressions on the imagination, or any enthusiastical impulses, and
how essential in religion he esteemed holy practice, &c. &c. For all that have
read that discburse, know what sentiments are there expressed concerning those
things. (2.) I judged, that the approbation of so apparent and eminent a friend
and example of inward vital religion, and evangelical piety in the height of it,
would probably tend to make that hook more serviceable : especially among
some kinds of zealous persons, whose benefit was especially aimed at in the
book ; some of which are prejudiced against it, as written in too legal a strain,
and opposing some things wherein the height of christian experience consists,
and tending to build men upon their own works.
* -■•
392 xKiioiEB or brainxed.
Now, when men thus rejoice in the Mrfedioiu of Gfod^ and in
the mfhiUe essceUency of the way of^fohaiien by Chrisi^ and m
the holj commemdi of God, which are a transcript of hn hoRr
nature ; thue joys are divine and spiritual Our jors will stand
by us at Ihe hour cfdeaik, if we can be then satisfied, that wo
have thus acted above seif^ and in a disint^ested manner, tfl
may so exf^ess it, rejoiced in the glory of the blessed €(od. I
fear you are not simciently awa^e how much foise religiiMi
there i9 in the world ; many serious christians and valudUe mi*
nistera are too easily imposed upon by this false blaze. I Ifto-
wise fear you are not sensible of the dreadful eflfects and con*
sequences of this false religion. Let me tell you, it is the dMI
tfWisformed hUo an angel ofli^ht; it is hjlendnf heO^ tiiat al-
ways springs up with every revival of religion, and stabs aid
murders the cause of God, while it passes current with mul-
titudes of well meaning people for the height of religion. Set
yourself, my brother, to crush all appearances of mk nataie,
among the Indians, and never encourage any degrees of heit
without light Charge my people in the name m their dmg
mmist^^ yea, in the name of Jluii who was dead €mi it d&«,
to live and walk as becomes the gospel Tell th^n homgniL
the expectations of God and his people are from tbun, andnow
awfully they will wound God^s cause, if they fall into vice ; 19
well as fatdly prejudice other poor Indians. Always insist,
that their experiences are rotten^ that their joys are debmoe^
although they may have been rapt up into the third hetmem
in their own conceit by them, unless the main tenor of thdr
lives be spiritual, watchful, and holy. In pressing these things,
^ thou shalt both save thyself and those that hear thee/
" God knows I was heartily willing to have served him longer
in the work of the ministry, although it had still been attended
with all the labours and hardships of past years, if he had seen
fit that it should be so : but as his will now appears otherwise,
I am fully content, and can with the utmost freedom say, ^ The
will of the Lord be done/ It affects me to think of leaving you
in a world of sin ; my heart pities you, that those storms and
tempests are yet before you, from which, I trust, through grace,
I am almost delivered. But ^ God lives, aud ble^ed be my
Rock ;' he is the same almighty Friend ; and will, I trust, be
your Guide and Helper, as he has been mine.
" And now, my dear brother, ' I commend you to God and
to the word of his grace,' which is able to build you up, and give
you inheritance among all them that are sanctified. May you
enjoy the divine presence, both in private and public ; and may
' the arms of your hands be made strong, by the right hand of
the mighty God of Jacob !' Which are the passionate desires
and prayers of
" Your affectionate dying brotl^r,
" DAVID BRAINERD."
1
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 393
^' At this season, also, while I was confined at Boston, I read
with care and attention some papers of old Mr. Shepard's,
lately come to light, and designed for the press ; and, as I was
desired, and greatly urged, made some corrections, where the
sense was left dark, for want of a word or two. — Besides this, I
had many visitants, with whom, when I was able to speak, I
always conversed of the things of religion ; and was peculiarly
assisted in distinguishing between the true ^nd false religion of
the limes. There is scarcely any subject, which has been mat-
ter of controversy of late, but I was at one time or other com-
pelled to discuss and show my opinion respecting it ; and that
frequently before numbers of people. Especially, I discoursed
repeatedly on the nature and necessity of that humiliation^ self-
emptiness^ or full conviction of a person's being utterly undone
in himself, which is necessary in order to a saving faith, and
the extreme difficulty of being brought to this, and the great
danger there is of persons taking up with some self-righteous
appearances of it. The danger of this I especially dwelt upon,
bemg persuaded that multitudes perish in this hidden way ;
and because so little is said from most pulpits to discover any
danger here : so that persons being never effectually brought
to die in themselves, are never truly united to Christ, and so
perish. I also discoursed much on what I take to be the es-
sence of true religion; endeavouring plainly to describe that
god-like temper and disposition of soul, and that holy conver-
sation and behaviour, which may justly claim the honour of
having God for his original and patron. I have reason to hope
God blessed my way of discoursing and distinguishing to some,
both ministers and people ; so that my time was not wholly
lost."
He was much visited, while in Boston, by many persons of
considerable note and character, and by some of the first rank ;
who showed him uncommon respect, and appeared highly
E leased and entertained with his conversation. Beside being
onoured with the company and respect of ministers of the
town, he was visited by several ministers from various parts of
the country. He took all opportunities to discourse on the
peculiar nature, and distinguishing characteristics of true, spi-
ritual, and vital religion ; and to bear his testimony against the
various false appearances of it, consisting in, or arismg from
impressions on the imagination, sudden and supposed imme-
diate suggestions of truths not contained in the scripture, and
that faith which consists primarily in a person believing that
Christ died for him in particular, &c. What he said was, for
the most part, heard with uncommon attention and regard :
and his discourses and reasonings appeared manifestly to havo
Vol. X. ^>
I
great weight and influence, witli many with whom he conver-
sed, both miniatera and othera.*
The honourable Commissioners in Boston, of the incorpo-
rated society in London for propagating the gospel in New-
England and parts adjacent, having newly hadcommiHed to
them a legacy of the late reverend and famous Dr. Daniel Wil-
liams, of London, for the support of two misxtonaries to the
heathen, were pleased, while he was in Boston, to consult him
about a mission to tliose Indians called the Six Ntitiong, parti-
cularly about the qualifications requisite in a missionary to
those Indians. They were so satisfied with his sentiments on
diia head, and had such confidence in his faitlifulness, hU judg-
ment and discretion in things of this nature, that they desired
him to undertake to find ana recommend two persons fit to be
employed in this business ; and very much left the matter witL
bim.
Several pious and generously disposed gentlemen in Boston,
moved by the wonderful narrative of his labours and success
among the Indians in New-Jersey, and more especially by their
conversation with him on the same subject, took opportunitj
to inquire more particularly into the state and necessities of his
congregation, and the school among them, with a charitable
intention of contributing something to promote the excellent
design of advancing the mterests of Christianity among the In-
dians. Understanding that there was a want of Bibles for the
school, three dozen Bibles were immediately procured, and 14/.
in bills, {of the old tenor,) given over and above, besides more
large benefactions made afterwards!, which I shall have occa-
sion to mention in their proper place.
Beainerd's restoration from his extremely low state in Bot-
tOR, so as to go abroad again and to travel, was very unexpect-
ed to him and his friends. My daughter, who was with biin,
writes thus concerning him, in a letter dated June 33. — ^ Ob
Thursday, he was very ill with a violent fever, and extreme pain
ia his head and breast, and, at turns, delirious. So he reraauwd
till Saturday evening, when he seemed to he in the agonies of
death ; the family was up witli him till one or two o^clock, ex-
pecting that every hour would be his last. On Sabbath Aqr
ne was a little revived, his head was better, but very fbll of
pain, and exceeding sore at hia breast, much put to it fat
breath, &-c. Yeaterday he was better upon all accounts.
Last night he slept but little. This morning he was much
wotse. Dr. Pyncnon says, be has no hopes of bis life ; nw
* I have had sdruitsge for tiie more fall iDfonnation of hit condnct and OQD-
imMtioo, the enUrtuniaent he met with, and what paued Talatiog to himiASa
in Ballon ; ■« he waa conilantly attended, daring his coDtinoaiiea thera, bjMi*
ofnyQhildrea.in order to his asiutsiiM in his illDOB.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 395
does he think it likely that he will ever come out of the cham*'
ber ; though he says he may be able to come to Northampton.''
In another letter dated June 29, she says as follows : — " Mr.
Brainerd has not so much pain, nor fever, since I last wrote,
as before : yet he is extremely weak and low, and very faint,
expecting every day will be his last. He says, it is impossible
for him to live ; for he has hardly vigour enough to draw his
breath. I went this morning into town, and when 1 came
home, Mr. Bromiield said, he never expected I should see him
alive ; for he lay two hours, as they thought, dying ; one could
scarcely tell whether he was alive or not ; he was not able to
speak for some time : but now is much as he was before. The
doctor thinks he will drop away in such a turn. Mr. Brainerd
says he never felt any thing so much like dissolution^ as that he
felt to-day ; and says, he never had any conception of its being pos-
sible for-any creature to be alive, and yet so weak as he is from
day to day. — Dr. Pynchon says, he should not be surprised, if
he should so recover as to live half a year ; nor would it sur-
prise him if he should die in half a day. Since I began to
write he is not so well, having had a faint turn again : yet pa-
tient and resigned, having no distressing fears, but the con-
trary."
His physician, the honourable Joseph Pynchon, Esq. when
he visited him in his extreme illness in Boston, attributed his
sinking so suddenly into a state so extremely low, and nigh
unto death, to the breaking of ulcers, which had been long
^fathering in his lungs, as Brain£rd himself intimates in a
forementioned passage in his diary, and there discharging and
diffusing their purulent matter. This, while nature was la-
bouring and struggling to throw it off, which could be done
no otherwise than by a gradual straining of it through the
small vessels of those vital parts, occasioned a high fever and
violent coughing, threw the whole frame of nature into the ut-
most disorder, and brought it near to a dissolution. But it was
supposed, if the strength of nature held till the lungs had this
way gradually cleared themselves of this putrid matter, he
might revive, and continue better till new ulcers gathered and
broke; but that this would surely sink him again, and there
was no hope of his recovery. He expressed himself to one of
my neighbours, who at that time saw him in Boston, that he
was as certainly a dead man, as if he was shot through the
heart.
But so it was ordered in divine Providence, that the strength
of nature held out through this great conflict, so as just to es-
cape the grave at that turn ; and then he revived, to the asto-
nishment of all who knew his case. After he began to revive,
he was visited by his youngest brother, Israel, a student at Yale
College : who having heard of his extreme illness, went fit>m
396 MEMOIRS OF BRAINKRU.
thence to Boston, in order to see hiro, if he might find him
alive, which be but little expected.
This visit wbb attended with a mixture of joy and sorrow to
Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced to see his brother, espedally
because he had desired an opportunity of some religious con-
versation with him before he died. But this meeting was at-
tended with sorrow, as his brother brought to him the sorrowfiil
tidings of his sister Spencer^s death at Haddam ; a sista*, be-
tween whom and him had long subsisted a peculiarly dear af-
fection, and much intimacy in spiritual matters, and whose
house he used to make his own, when he went to Haddam, hk
native place. He had heard nothing of her sickness till this
report of her death. But he had these comforts, together with
the tidings, viz. a confidence of her being gone to heaven, and
an expectation of his soon meeting her there. — ^His brother
continued with him till he left the town, and came with him
firom thence to Northampton. — Concerning the last Sabbath.
Brainerd spent in Boston, ne writes in his miry as follows :—
Lord*8 day^ July 19. ^^ I was just able to attend public wot-
ship, beinff carried to the house of (rod in a diaise. Heud
Dr. SewalT preach, in the forenoon : partook of the Lord^s sap-
per at this time. In this sacrament, I saw astonishing divine
wisdom displayed ; such wisdom, as 1 saw, required the tongues
of angels and glorified sainst to celebrate. It seemed to me
that I never should do any thing at adoring the infinite tcUdim
of God, discovered in the contrivance of man^s redemption,
until 1 arrived at a world of perfection ; yet I could not help
striving ' to call upon my soul, and all within me, to bless the
name of God.' — In the afternoon, heard Mr. Prince preach. I
saw more of God in the wisdom discovered in the plan of man's
redemption, than I saw of any other of his perfections, through
the whole day."
He left Boston the next day. But before he came away, he
had occasion to bear a very full, plain, and open testimony
against that opinion, that the essence of sa.\\ngf aitb lies in be-
lieving that Christ died for me in particular ; and that this is
the Jirst act of faith in a true believer's closing with Christ.
He did it in a long conference he had with a gentleman, who
has very publicly and strenuously appeared to defend that te-
net. He had this discourse with him in the presence of a num-
ber of respectable individuals who came to visit Brainerd be-
fore he left the town, and to take their leave of him. In this
debate, he made this plain declaration, at the same time con-
firmmg what he said by many arguments. That the essence of
saving faith was wholly left out of the definition which that
gentleman has published ; and that the faith which he had de-
fined had nothing of God in it, nothing above nature, nor in-
MEMOIRS OF BRA1N£RD. 397
de6d above the power of the devils ; and that all such as had
this faith, and no better^ though they might have this to never
so high a degree, would surely jDerish. He declared also, that
he never had greater assurance of the falseness of the princi-
ples of those who maintained such a faith, and of their dan-
gerous and destructive tendency, or a more affecting sense of
the great delusion and misery of those who depended on get-
ting to heaven by such a faith, while they had no better^ than
he lately had when he was supposed to be at the point to die,
and expected every minute to pass into eternity. — Brainerd^s
discourse at this time, arid the forcible reasonings by which he
confirmed what he asserted, appeared to be greatly to the satis-
faction of those present ; as several of them took occasion ex-
pressly to manifest to him, before they took leave of him.
When this conversation was ended, having bid an affection*
ate farewell to his friends, he set out in the cool of the afternoon,
on his journey to Northampton, attended by his brother, and
my daughter, who went with him to Boston ; and would have
been accompanied out of the town by a number of gentlemen,
besides that honourable person who gave him his company for
some miles on that occasion, as a testimony of their esteem
and respect, had not his aversion to any thing of pomp and
show prevented it.
July 25. " I arrived here, at Northampton, having set out
from Boston on Monday, about 4 o'clock, P. M. In this jour-
ney, I rode about sixteen miles a day, one day with another.
Was sometimes extremely tired and faint on the road, so that
it seemed impossible for me to proceed any further : at other
times I was considerably better, and felt some freedom both of
body and mind.
hordes day, July 26. " This day I saw clearly that I should
never be happy ; yea, that God himself could not make me
happy^ unless I could be in a capacity to ' please and glorify
him tor ever.' Take away this, and admit me in all the fine
heavens that can be conceived of by men or angels, and I
should still be miserable for ever J*'*
Though he had so revived as to be able to travel thus far, yet
he manifested no expectation of recovery. He supposed as his
physician did, that his being brought so near to death at Bos-
ton, was owing to the breaking of ulcers in his lungs. He told
me that he had several such ill turns before, only not to so kigh
a degree, but as he supposed, owing to the same cause, viz, the
breaking of ulcers ; that he was brought lower and lower every
time ; that it appeared to him, that in his last sickness he was
brought as low as it was possible, and yet live ; and that he had
not the least expectation of surviving the next return of this
398 MEMOIRS OF BRAIN'ERD.
breaking of ulcers ; but still appeared perfectly calm in the
prospect of death.
On Wednesday morning, the week after he came to North-
ampton, he took leave of his brother Israel, never expecting to
see him again in this world ; he now setting out from hence on
his journey to New-Haven.
When Brainerd came hither he had so much strength as to be
able, from day to day, to ride out two or three miles, and to re-
turn ; and sometimes to pray in the family : but from this time
he gradually decayed, becoming weaker and weaker.
While he was here, his conversation from first to last was
much on the same subjects as when in Boston. He spoke much
of the nature of true religion in the heart and practice, as dis-
tinguished from its various counterfeits ; expressing his great
concern that the latter so much prevailed in many places. He
often manifested his great abhorrence of all such doctrines and
principles in religion as had any tendency to Antinomianism;
of all such notions, as seemed to diminish the necessity of holi-
ness of life, or to abate men's regard to the commands of God,
and a strict, diligent, and universal practice of virtue and piety,
under a pretence of depreciating our works, and magnifying
God^s free grace. He spoke often, with much detestation Si
such experiences and pretended discoveries and joys^ as have
nothing of the nature o( sanctijication in them, as do not tend to
strictness, tenderness, and diligence in religion, to meekness
and benevolence towards mankind, and an humble behaviour.
He also declared, that he looked on such pretended humility
as worthy of no regard, which was not manifested by modesty
of conduct and conversation. He spoke often with abhorrence
of the spirit and practice which appear among the greater part
of separatists at this day in the land, particularly those in the
eastern parts of Connecticut ; in their condemning and sepa-
rating from the standing ministry and churches, their cr}4ng
down learning and a letirned ministry, their notion of an im-
7nediate call to the work of the ministry, and the forwardness
of laymen to set up themselves as public teachers and preach-
ers. He had been much conversant in the eastern part of
Connecticut, it being near his native place, when the same
principles, notion, and spirit began to operate, which have since
prevailed to a greater height ; and had acquaintance with some
of those persons who are become heads and leaders of the sepa-
ratists. He had also been conversant with persons of the same
class elsewhere ; and I heard him say, once and again, that he
knew by his acquaintance with this sort of people, that what
was chiefly and most generally in repute among them as the
power of godliness^ was an entirely different thing from that
true vital piety recommended in the scriptures, and had no-
thing in it of that nature. He manifested a great dislike of a
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 399
disposition in persons to much noise and show in religion, and
affecting to be abundant in proclaiming and publishing their
own experiences. Though at the same time he did not con-
demn. But approved of christians speaking of their own experi-
ences on some occasions, and to some persons, with due modes-
ty and discretion. He himself sometimes, while at my house,
spake of his own experiences ; but it ways always with appa-
rent reserve^ and in the exercise of care and judgment with re-
spect to occasions, persons, and circumstances. He mention-
ed some remarkable things of his own religious experience to
two young gentlemen, candidates for the ministry, who watch-
ed with him, each at different times, when he was very low,
and not far from his end ; but he desired both of them not to
speak of what he had told them till after his death.
The subject of the debate already mentioned, which he had
with a certain gentleman, the day he left Boston, seemed to lie
with much weight on his mind after he came hither. He be-
gan to-write a letter to that gentleman, expressing his senti-
ments concerning the dangerous tendency of some of the tenets
he had expressed in conversation, and in the writings he had
Eublished; with the considerations by which the exceeding
urtful nature of those notions is evident ; but he had not
strength to finish his letter.
After he came hither, as long as he lived, he spoke much of
that future prosperity of Zion, which is so often foretold and
promised in the scripture. It was a theme upon which he de-
lighted to dwell ; and his mind seemed to be carried forth with
earnest concern about it, and intense desires that religion might
speedily and abundantly revive and flourish. Though he had
not the least expectation of recovery, yea, the nearer death
advanced, and the more the symptoms of its approach increas-
ed, still the more did his mind seem to be taken up with this
subject. He told me, when near his end, that " he never in
all his life had his mind so led forth in desires and earnest prayers
for the flourishing of ChrisVs kingdom on earth, as since he was
brought so exceeding low at Boston." He seemed much to
wonder, that there appeared no more of a disposition in minis-
ters and people to pray for the flourishing of religion through
the world ; that so little a part of their prayers was generally
taken up about it, in their families, and elsewhere. Particular-
ly, he several times expressed his wonder, that there appeared
no more forwardness to comply with ihe proposal lately made,
in a memorial from a number of ministers in Scotland, and
sent over into America, for united extraordinary prayer^
among Christ's ministers and people, for the coming of ChrisVs
kingdom: and sent it as his dying advice to his own con-
40U VEMOIBS OF fiRAINERD.
gregation^ that they should practice agreeably to that pro-
posal.*
Though he was constantly exceeding weak, yet there ap-
peared in him a continual care well to improve time^ and fill it
up with something that might be profitable, and in some re-
spect for the glory of God or the good of men ; either profita-
ble conversation ; or writing letters to absent fi-iends ; or no-
ting something in his diary ; or looking over his former wri-
tings, correcting them, and preparing them to be left in the
hands of others at his death ; or givmg some directions con-
cerning the future management of his people ; or employment
in secret devotions. He seemed never to be easy, however ill,
if he was not doing something for God, or in his service. Af-
ter he came hither, he wrote a. preface to a diary of the famous
Mr. Shepard^s, in those papers before mentioned, lately found,
having been much urged to it by those gentlemen in Boston
who had the care of the publication; which diary, with his
preface^ has since been published.!
In his diary for Lord^s day^ Aug 9, he speaks of longing de-
sires after deaths through a sense of the excellency of a state of
perfection. — In his diary for Lord'^s day^ Aug. 16, he speak$ of
his having so much refreshment of soul in the house of God,
that it seemed also to refresh his body. And this is not only
noted in his diary, but was very observable to others ; it was
very apparent, not only that his mind was exhilarated with in-
ward consolation, but also that his animal spirits and bodily
strength seemed to be remarkably restored, as though he had
forgot his illness. But this was the last time that ever he at-
tended public worship on the Sabbath.
On Tuesday morning that week, as I was absent on a jour-
ney, he prayed with my family, but not without much difficul-
ty, for want of bodily strength ; and this was the last family-
prayer that he ever made. — He had been wont, till now, fre-
quently to ride out, two or three miles : but this week, on
Thursday, was the last time he ever did so.
Lord'^s day, Aug. 23. " This morning I was considerably
refreshed with the thought, yea, the hope and expectatidti of
the enlargement of ChrisVs kingdom ; and I could not but
hope, that the time was at hand, when Babylon the great
* His congregation, since this, have with great cheerfulness and unanimity
fallen in with this advice, and have practised agreeably to the proposal from
Scotland ; and have at times appeared with uncommon engagedness and ferven-
cy of spirit in their meetings and united devotions, pursuant to that proposal.
Also the Presbyteries of New York and New Brunswick, since this, have with
one consent, fallen in v/ith the proposal, as likewise some other of God's people
in those parts.
t A part of this preface is inserted in the Reflections on these Memoirs, in a
subsequent part ot this volume.
JKEMOiaS OF BRAINERU. 401
Would falU and rise no more* This led me to some spiritual
meditations, which were very refreshing to me. I was unable
to attend public worship, either part of the day ; but God was
pleased to afford me fixedness and satisfaction in divine
thoughts. Nothing so refreshes my soul, as when 1 can go to
God, yea, to God my exceeding- joy. When he is so sensibly,
to uff soul, O how unspeakably delightful is this !
" In the week past, 1 had divers turns of inward refreshing ;
though my body was inexpressibly weak, followed continually
with agues and fevers. Sometimes my soul centred in God,
as inv only portion ; and I felt that I should be for ever unhap-
py, it He did not reign. I saw the sweetness and happiness of
oeing his subject, at his disposal. This made all my difficul-
ties quickly vanish*
" From this Lord^s day^ viz. Aug. 23, I was troubled very
much with vapoury disorders, and could neither write nor read,
and could scarcely live ; although through mercy, was not so
much oppressed with heavy melancholy and gloominess, as at
many other times.^'
Til! this Week^ he had been wont to lodge in a room above
stairs \ but he now grew so weak that he was no longer able to
go up stairs and down. Friday^ Aug. 28, was the last time he
ever went above stairs ; henceforward he betook himself to a
lower room.
On Wednesday, Sept, 2, being the day of our public lecture,
he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the neighbouring minis-
ters who came hither to the lecture, and expressed a great de-
sire once more to go to the house of God on that day : and ac-
cordingly rode to the meeting, and attended divine service,
while the Reverend Mr. Woodbridge, of Hatfield, preached.
He signified that he supposed it to be the last time he should
ever attend public worship, as it proved. Indeed, it was the
last time that he ever went out of our gate aHve.
On the Saturday evening next following, he was unexpectedly
visited by his brother, Mr. John Brainerd, who came to see him
firom New-Jersey. He was much refreshed by this unexpect-
ed visit, this brother being peculiarly dear to him ; and he
seemed to rejoice in a devout and solemn manner, to see him,
and to hear the comfortable tidings which he brought concern*
ing the state of his dear congregation of Christian Indians. A
circumstance of this visit, of which he was exceedingly glad^
was, that his brother brought him some of his private writings
firom New-Jersey, and particularly his diary which he had kept
for many years past.
hordes day, Sept. f>. " I began to read some of my i)rivate
Vol. X. 51
4U2 MSMOIKS OF BEAIHSaO.
writings, which my brother brought me ; and was coiudderaUjr
refreshed with what I found in them.
Sept. 7. ^^ I proceeded further in reading my old private
writings, and found that they had the same effect upon me as
before. I could not but rejoice and bless God for wnat paved
long affo, which without writing had been entirely lost.
^^ This evening, when I was in great distress of body, nqr
soul longed that God should be glorified : I saw there was no
character but this. 1 could not but speak to the by-standen
then of the only happiness^ viz. pleasing God. O thai 1 couU
for ever live to God 1 The day, I trust, is at hand, the perfect
day. O the day of deliverance jfrom aU sin !
Lord^s day^ Sept. 13. ^^ I was much refreshed and engaged
in meditation and writing, and found a heart to act f<Hr wd.
My spirits were refreshed, and my soul delighted to do mm^
thing for God."
On the evening following that Lord^s day, his fiset began to
fippear sensibly swelled ; which thenceforward swelled moie
and more. A symptom of his dissolution coming on. The
next day, his brother John left him, being obliged to letam to
New- Jersey on some business of ^eat importance and necesa-
ty ; intendmg to return again with all possible speed, hoping
to see his brother yet once more in the land of the living.
Brainerd having now, with much deliberation, consklered
of the important anair before mentioned, which was referred to
him by the honourable commissioners in Boston, of the corpo-
ration in London for the propagation of the gospel in New-
England, and parts adjacent, viz. the fixing upon and recom-
mending of two persons proper to be employed as missionaries
to the Six Nations ; about this time wrote a letter, recommend-
ing two young gentlemen of his acquaintance to those com-
missioners, viz. Mr. Elihu Spencer, of East-Haddam, and Mr.
Job Strong, of Northampton. The commissioners, on the re-
ceipt of this letter, cheerfully and unanimously agreed to ac-
cept of and employ the persons whom he had recommended.
They accordingly since have waited on the commissioners to
receive their instructions ; and pursuant to these have applied
themselves to a preparation for the business of their mission.
One of them, Mr. Spencer, has been solemnly ordained to that
work, by several of the ministers of Boston, m the presence of
an ecclesiastical council convened for that purpose ; and is
now gone forth to the nation of Oneidas, about a hundred and
seventy miles beyond Albany.
On Wednesday, Sept. 16, he wrote a letter to a gentleman
in Boston, (one of those charitable persons beforementioned,
who appeared so forward to contribute of their substance for
promoting Christianity among the Indians,) relating to the
MEMOIRS OF BRAINER];). 403
growth of the Indian school, and the need of another school-
master, or some person to assist the schoolmaster in instructing
the Indian children. These gentlemen, on the receipt of this
letter, had a meeting, and agreed with great cheerfulness to
give 20U/. (in bills of the old tenor,) for the support of another
schoolmaster ; and desir^td the Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of New
York, (who was then at Boston, and was also, at their desire,
E resent at their meeting,) as soon as possible to procure a suita-
le person for that service ; and also agreed to allow 141, to
defray some special charges which were requisite to encourage
the mission to the Six Nations, (besides the salary allowed by
the commissioners,) which was also done on some intimations
given by Brainerd.
Brainerd spent himself much in writing those letters, being
exceedingly weak ; but it seemed to be much to his satisfaction
that he had been enabled to do it ; hoping that it was some-
thing done for God, and which might be for the advancement
of Christ^s kingdom and glory. In writing the last of these let-
ters, he was obliged to use the hand of another, not being able
to write himself.
On the Thursday of this week, (Sept. 17,) was the last time
that ever he went out of his lodging room. That day, he was
again visited by his brother Israel, who continued with him
tiienceforward till his death. On that evening he was taken
with something of a diarrhea^ which he looked upon as an-
other sign of his approaching death ; whereupon he expressed
himself thus : ^^ Oh, the glorious time is now coming I I have
longed to serve God perfectly : now God will gratify those de-
aires!" And from time to time, at the several steps and new
symptoms of the sensible approach of his dissolution, he was
BO far from being sunk or damped, that he seemed to be ani-
mated^ and made more cheerful, as being glad at the appear-
ance otdeath^s approach. He often used the epithet ^Zorioi/^,
when speaking of the day of his deaths calling it that glorious
day. And as he saw his dissolution gradually approaching,
Jie talked much about it ; and with perfect calmness spoke of a
future state. He also settled all his aflairs, giving directions
Tery particularly and minutely, concerning what he would
have done in one respect and another after his decease. And
the nearer death approached, the more desirous he seemed to
be of it. He several times spoke of the dif event kinds of will-
ingness to die ; and represented it as an ignoble, mean kind,
to be wilhng to leave the body, only to get rid of pain ; or to
go to heaven, only to get Aowoiir and advancement there.
Sept. 19. " Near night, while I attempted to walk a little,
my thoughts turned thus : ' How infinitely sweet it is, to love
God, and be all for him !' Upon which it was suggested to
4t)4 HCUoiRS OF braineh'E'.
mc, ' V'ou arc not an angel, not lively and active." To which
my whole soul immediately replied. ' I as sincerely desire to
love and glorify God, as any angel in heaven.' Upon which it
was suggested again, ' But you are filthy, not fit for heaven.'
Hereupon instantly appeared the blessed robca of Chrirt>
righteousness, in which I could not but exult and triumph;
and I viewed the infinite excellency of God, and my soul even
broke with longings, that God should be glorified. I thought
of dignity in heaven ; but' instantly the thought returned, ' I
do not go to heaven to get honour, but to give all possible glo-
ry and praise.' O how I longed that God should be glorified
on earth also ! 1 was made — for eternity — if God might be
glorified ! BottUy paint I cared not for ; though I was then in
extremity. I never (ell easier. 1 felt wiUing to glorify God in
that state of bodily distress, as long as he pleased I should con-
tinue in it. Tbe^rai'c appeared really sweet, and I longed to
lodge my ivcnry bones in it : but Oh, that God might be glo-
rified! this was the burden of all my cry. O I knew that I
should be active as an angel, in heaven ; and that I should he
atripped of my fltky garments .' so that there was no objection.
But, O to lore and praise God more, to please him for ever!
this my soul panted after, and even now pants for while I write.
Oh that God. might be glorified in the whole earth ! ' Lord let
thy kingdom come.' 1 longed for a spirit of preaching to de-
scend and rest on ministers, that they might address the con-
; of men with closeness and power, I saw that God
* had the residue of the Spirit ;' and my soul longed that it
should be ' poured from on high.' I could not but plead with
God for my dear congregation, that he would preserve it, and
not suffer his great name to lose its glory in that work ; my
soul still longing that God might be glorified,"
The extraordinary frame he wSs in, that evening, could not
be hid. " His mouth spake out of the abundance of his heart,"
expressing in n very affecting manner much the same things as
are written in his diary. Among very many other extraor-
dinary expressions, which he then uttered, were such as these:
*' My heaven ia to please God, and glorify him, and to give all
to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory : thai is the
heaven I long for ; that is my religion, and that is my happi-
ness, and always was ever since I suppose I had any true reli-
gion : and all those that arc of that religion shall meet me in
heaven. I do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to give
honour to God. It is no matter where I shall be stationed in
heaven, whether I have a high or low scat there ; but to love,
and please, and glorify God is all. Had I a thousand souls, if
they were worth any thing, J would give them all to God ; but I
have notliing to give, when all is done, — It is impossible for I
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 405
any rational creature to be happy without acting all for God ;
God himself could not make him happy any other way. I long
to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy an-
gels ; all my desire is to glorify God. — My heart goes out to the
burying place ; it seems to me a desirable place : but O to glori-
fy God ! that is it ; that is above all. — It is a great comfort to me
to think, that I have done a little for God in the world : Oh ! it
is but a very small matter, yet I have done a little ; and 1 lament
it, that I have not done more for him. — There is nothing in the
world worth living for, but doing good^ and finishing God'^s work^
doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in the world
that can yield any satisfaction, besides living to God^ pleasing
him^ <md doing his whole will. — My greatest joy and comfort
has been, to do something for promoting the interest of religion
and the souls of particular persons : and now, in^my illness while
I am full of pain and distress, from day to day, all the comfort
1 have, is in being able to do some little service for God, either
by something that I say, or by writing, or in some other way.
He intermingled with these and other like expressions, many
pathetical counsels to those who were about him ; particularly
to my children and servants^ He applied himself to some of
my younger children at this time ; calling them to him, and
speaking to them one by one ; setting before them, in a very plain
manner, the nature and essence of true piety, and its great im-
portance and necessity ; earnestly warning them not to rest in
any thing short of a true and thorough change of heart, and a
life devoted to God. — He counselled them not to be slack in
the great business of religion, nor in the least to delay it ; enfor-
cing his counsels with this, that his words were the words of a*
dying man : said he, ^^ I shall die here, and here I shall be bu-
ried, and here you will see my grave, and do you remember
what I have said to you. I am going into eternity : and it is
sweet for me to think of eternity : the endlessness of it makes it
sweet : but O what shall I say to the eternity of the wicked !
I cannot mention it, nor think of it ; the thought is too dreadful.
When you see my grave, then remember what I said to you
while I was alive ; then think with yourself, how the man who
lies in that grave, counselled and warned me to prepare for
death.''
His body seemed to be marvellously strengthened, through
the inward vigour and refreshment of his mind ; so that, al-
though before he was so weak that he could hardly utter a
sentence, yet now he continued his most affecting and profita-
ble discourse to us for more than an hour, with scarce any in-
termission ; and said of it, when he had done, ^^ it was the last
sermon that ever he should preach.'' — This extraordinary frame
•of mind continued the next day, of which he says in his diary
as follows :
r
40tl aiEuoms or bkainekd.
hord'x dtfj/, Sept. 20. " Was atill in a sweet and coinfort&ljle
frame : and was again melted with desires that God nkight be
glorified, and with longings to love and hve to him. Longed
for the influences of the divine Spirit to descend on ministers,
in a special manner. And O 1 longed to be wilh God, to be-
hold his glory, and to bow in his presence !"
It appears by what is noted in his diary, both of this day and
the evening preceding, that his mind at this time was much
impressed with a sense of the importance of the work of the
mimsiry, and the need of the grace of God, and his special
spiritual assistance in this work. It also appeared in what he
expressed in conversation : particularly in his discourse to hia
brother Israel, who was then a member of Yale College at
New-Haven, prosecuting his studies for the work of the minis-
try.* He now, and from time to time, in this his dying state,
recommended to his brother a life of self-denial, of weanedness
from the world, and devotedness to God, and an earnest endea-
vour to obtain much of the grace of God's Spirit, and God's
gracious influences on his heart ; representing the great need
which ministers stand in of them, and the unspeakable benefit
of them from his own experience. Among many other expres-
sions, he said thus : — " When ministers feel these special gra-
cious inflvences on their hearts, it wonderfully assists them to
come at the consciences of men, and as it were to handle them ;
whereas, without them, whatever reason and oratory we make
Use of, we do but make use of stumps, instead of hands."
S^. 31. " I began to correct a little volume of my private
writings. God, I believe, remarkably helped mc in it ; my
strength was surprisingly lengthened out, my thoughts were
quick and lively, and my soul refreshed, hoping it might be a
work for God. — O how good, how sweet it is to hwour for
God!
Sept. 23. " WaB again employed in reading and correcting,
and had the same success, as the day before. I was exceeding
weak ; but it seemed to refresh my soul, thus to spend time.
Sept. 33. " I finished my corrections of the little piece be-
fore-mentioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful : it seemed as if
I had now done all my work in this world, and stood ready for
my call to a better. As long as I see any thing to be done foil
God, life is worth having : but O, how vain and unworthy it is,
to live for any lower end I — this day, I indited a letter, I think,
* Tbit young gentlemitn was an itigeniou), serioui, tluiJiotu, and hopeiiillj
piotu penoQ : there sppenred in him tatay qualitiea giring hope o[ his being >
(reittleraingin hia da;, Butithu pleaKcl God, since the death of hia broltwr,
to take him away alio. He died l/uU winter, at Heir-UaTen January 6, 1T4S, of
a nervooi fevw, after about a Ibrlnight'a illoen.
MEMOIRS OF BRAlNfiRD. 407
of great importance, to the Rev. Mr. Byram in New-Jersey.
Ohtbat God would bless and succeed that letter, which was
written for the benefit of his church !* Oh that God wouldpn-
rijy the sons of Levi^ that his glory may be advanced ! This
night, I endured a dreadful turn, wherein my life was expected
scarce an hour or minute together. But blessed be God, T
have enjoyed considerable sweetness in divine things, this week
both by night and day.
Sept. 24. " My strength began to fail exceedingly ; which
looked further as if I had done all my work : however, 1 had
strength to fold and superscribe my letter. About two I went
to bed, being weak and much disordered, and lay in a burning
fever till night, without any proper rest. In the evening, I got
up, having lain down in some of my clothes ; but was in the
greatest distress, that ever I endured, having an uncommon kind
of hiccough ; which either strangled me, or threw me into a
straining to vomit ; and at the same time was distressed with
griping pains. O the distress of this evening ! I had little ex-
pectation of my living the night through, nor indeed had any
about me : and I longed for the finishing moment ! 1 was
obliged to repair to bed by six o'clock ; and through mercy en-
joyed some rest ; but was grievously distressed at turns with the
hiccough. My soul breathed after God, — ' When shall 1
come to God, even to God, my exceeding joy V Oh for his
blessed likeness !
Sept. 25. " This day, I was unspeakably weak, and little
better than speechless all the day ; however, I was able to write
a little, and felt comfortably in some part of the day. O it re-
freshed my soul, to think of former things, of desires to glorify
God, of the pleasures of living to him ! O, blessed God, I am
speedily coming to thee, I hope. Hasten the day, O Lord, if it
be thy blessed will, O come^ Lord Jesus^ come quickly. Amen.^
Sept. 26. " I felt the sweetness of divine things, this fore-
noon ; and had the consolation of a consciousness that I was
doing something for God.
hordes day^ Sept. 27. " This was a very comfortable day to
my soul : I think, 1 awoke with God. I was enabled to lift up
my soul to God^ early this morning ; and while I had little bodi-
ly strength, I found freedom to lift up my heart to God for my-
self and others. Afterwards, was pleased with the thoughts of
speedily entering into the unseen world."
Early this morning, as one of the family came into the room
he expressed himself thus : " I have had more pleasure thismom-
^ It was concerning the qualifications of ministers, and the examination andli-
c&Min^ of candidates for the work of the ministry.
t This was the last time that ever he wrote in his Diary with his own hand ;
though it is continued a little &rther, in a broken manner ; written by his bro-
ther Israel, but indited by his mouth in this his weak and dying state.
:1Ii:moir3 oi' i
ing, than all the drunkards in the world enjoy." So much
did he esteem the joy of faith above the pleaaurea of sin. — He
felt that morning an unusual appetite to food, with which^his
mind seemed tobeeshilaratcd, lookingonitasasignofthe very
near approach of death. At this time he also said, " I vmn
born on a Sabbalh-daij ; and I have reason to think I was new-
born on a Sahhath-datj ; and 1 hope I shall die on this Sabbath-
day. I shall look upon it as a favour if it may be the will of God
that it should be so : I long for the time. O, tchy is his chariot
so long in coming? why tarry the wheels ofhig chariot ? I am
very willing to part with all ; 1 am willing to part with my dear
brother John, and never to see him again, to go to be for ever
with the Lord.* 0, when I go there, how will God's dear
church on earth be upon my mind !"
AHerwards, the same morning being asked how he did, he
answered, " I am almost in eternity? 1 long to be there. My
work is done ; I have done with all my friends ; all the world
is nothing to me. 1 long to be in heaven, praising and gtori-
iying God with the holy angels. Ml my desire is to glorify
God.
During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, he seem-
ed to continue in this frame of heart ; loose from all the world,
as having finished his work, and done with all things here below.
He had now nothing to do but to die, and to abide in an earnest
desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul
should take its flight to a state of perfect holiness, in which he
should be found perfectly glorifying and enjoying God. He
said, ' That iho consideration oftho day of death, and the day
of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him."
From time to time he spuke of his being willing to leave the
body and the world immediately, that day, that night, that mo-
ment, if it was the will of God. He also was much engaged
in expressing his longings that the church of Christ on earth
might flourish, and Christ's kingdom here might be adv^iced,
notwithstanding he was about to leave the earth, and should
not with his eyes behold the desirable event, nor be instrumen-
tal in promoting it. He said to me, one morning, as I came
into his room, "My thoughts have been employed on the old
dear theme, the prosperity of God's church on earth. As I
waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's
Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's kingdom, for which the
Redeemer did and suiTered so much. It is that especially which
makes me long for it." — He expressed much hope that a glori-
ous advancement of Christ's kingdom was near at hand.
* He had, bGrarBttii>.eipre9BeilBi1uire,ir it might trajthe will of God, to live
till his brother returned from New-Jertey : who, when he, went &WKf, iotended it
pooible, to perform bii journey, andretura iaa fortnight: hoping onoeoiora to
moet his brother m the Und of the liviDg. The fortnight was now mar ei^ired,
it ended the next day.
MEMOIRS OF BRAINER9. 409
He once told me, that " he had formerly longed for the out-
Jpouring of the Spirit of God and the glorious times of the churchy
and hoped they were coming ; and should have been will-
ing to have lived to promote religion at that time^ if that had
been the will of God ; but, says he^ I am willing it should be as
it is ; I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten
thousand worlds." He expressed on his death-bed a full persua-
sion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the church on
earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein ; and the consi-
deration of it seemed to be highly pleasing and satisfying to his
mind.
He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work of
gospel ministers, and expressed his longings, that they might be
filled with the Spirit of God. He manifested much desire to see
some of the neighbouring ministers, with whom he had some
acquaintance, and of whose sincere friendship he was confident
that he might converse freely with them on that subject, before
he died. And it so happened^ that he had opportunity with
some of them according to his desire.
Another thing that lay much on his heart, from time to time,
in these near approaches of death, was the spiritual prosperity
of his own congregation of Christian Indians in New-Jersey :
and when he spake of them, it was with peculiar tenderness ;
so that his speech would be presently interrupted and drowned
with tears.
He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposals of Provi-
dence, with regard to the circumstances of his death ; particular-
ly that God had before his death given him an opportunity in
Boston with so many cdnsiderable persons, ministers, and others
to give in his testimony for God against false religion^ and many
mistakes that lead to it, and promote it; He was much pleas*
ed that he had an opportunity there to lay before pious and
charitable gentlemen the state of the Indians, and their necessi-
ties to so good effect, and that God had since enabled him to write
to them further concerning these affairs ; and to write other
letters of importance^ which he hoped might be of good influ-
ence with regard to the state of religion among the Indians,
and elsewhere^ after his deaths He expressed great thankful-
ness to God for his mercy in these things^ He also mentioned
it as what he accounted a merciful circumstance of his death,
that he should die here. When he was sick at Boston, nigh
unto death, it was with reluctance he thought of dying in a place
where funerals are often attended with a pomp and show, to any
appearance of which he was very averse : and though it was
with some difficulty he got his mind reconciled to the prospect
then before him, yet at last he was brought to acquiesce in the
divine will, with respect to this circumstance of his departure.
However, it pleased God to order the event so as to gratify his
VoT. X. 52
410 MKMOIM 07 BBAIHBED.
which he had exprecned, of gettifi^ back to Nortfaafflpfon,
with a view particiilarly to a more tifent and private rariaL
And speaking of these thinjp, he said, ^^ God had ffranled him
all his desire f ^ and signifiied, that now he coukl with the
greater dacrity leave me world.
Sq>t. i!8. ^^ I was able to read and make some feweorrectkniB
in my private writings ; but found I could not write, as I had
done ; I found myself sensibly declined in all respettsL It has
been only from a little while before noon, till about ooe or two
o^clock, that I have been able to do any thing for some time
past : yet this refreshed my heart that I could do any Ihii^; either
public or private, that I hoped was for God.**
This evening, he was supposed to be dying. He though so
himself^ and was thought so by those who were about him. He
seemed glad at the appearance of the near approach of dealfc.
He was almost speechless, but his lips i^peaied to move : and
one that sat very near him, beard him utter such ezprMnons as
these, ^ Come, Lord Jesus, come quickhr. — Oh why is his ehl^t
so long in coming.** After he revived, he blamed himself feir
having been too eager to be gone. And in expressing what he
found in the frame of his mind at that time, he said, he tiien
found an inexpressibly sweet love to those whom he looked wen
as belonging to Christ beyond almost all that ever he felt before,
so that it seemed, to use his own words, ^* like a little piece of
heaven to have one of them near him.** And being asked, whe-
ther he heard the prayer that was, at his desire, made with him ;
he said, ^^ Yes, he heard every word, and had an uncommon
sense of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that
every word reached his heart/*
On the evening of Tuesday^ Sept. 29, as he lay on his bed, he
seemed to be in an extraordinary frame ; his mind greatly en-
gaged in sweet meditations concerning the prosperity of ZioD.
There being present here at that time two young gentlemen of
his acquaintance, who were candidates for the ministry, he de-
sired us all to unite in singing a Psalm on that subject, even
Zion*s prosperity. And on his desire we sung a part of the 102d
Psalm. This seemed much to refresh and revive him, and gave
him new strength ; so that, though before he could scarcely
speak at all, now he proceeded, with some freedom of speech,
to give his dying counsels to those two young gentlemen before-
mentioned, relating to their preparation for, and prosecution of
that great work of the ministry for which they were designed ;
and in particular earnestly recommended to them frequent secret
fasting and prayer: and enforced his counsel with regard to this
from his own experience of the great comfort and benefit of it,
which said he, I should not mention, were it not that I am a
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 411
dying person. After he had finished bis counsel, he made a
prayer, in the audience of us all : wherein, besides praying for
this family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the minis-
try, and for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the
reviving and flourishing of religion in the world. — Till now he
had every day sat up part of the day ; but after this he never rose
from his bed.
Sept. 30. " I was obliged to keep my bed the whole day,
through weakness. However, redeemed a little time, and with
the help of my brother, read and corrected about a dozen pages
in my MS. giving an account of my conversion.
Oct. 1. " I endeavoured again to do something by way of wri-
ting, but soon found my powers of body and mind utterly fail.
Felt not so sweetly, as when I was able to do something which
I hoped would do some good. In the evening, was discomposed
and wholly delirious ; but it was not long before God was pleas-
ed to give me some sleep, and fully composed my mind.* O
blessed be God for hLsgreat goodness to me,«ince I was so low
at Mr. Bromfield^s on Thursday, June 18, last. He has, except
those few minutes, given me the clear exercise of my reason,
and enabled me to labour much for him, in things both of a pub-
lic and private nature ; and perhaps to do more good than I
should have done if I had been well ; besides the comfortable
influence of his blessed Spirit, with which he has been pleased
to refresh my soul. May his name have all the glory for ever
and ever. Amen.
Oct. 2. " My soul was this day, at turns, sweetly set on God ;
I fonged to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt
sweetly disposed to commit all to him, even my dearest friends,
my dearest flock, my absent brother, and all my concerns for
time and eternity. O that his kingdom might come in the
world ; that they might all love and glorify him, for what he is
in himself; and that the blessed Redeemer might '^ see of the
travail of his soul, and be satisfied ! Oh, come Lord Jesus, come
quickly ! Amen."t
The next evening, we very much expected his brother John
from New-Jersey ; it being about a week after the time that he
proposed for his return, when he went away. Though our ex-
pectations were still disappointed, yet Brainerd seemed to con-
tinue unmoved, in the same calm and peaceful frame, which he
had before manifested ; as having resigned all to God, and ha-
ving done with his friends, and with all things here below.'
* From thia time forward, he had the free use of his reason till the day before
hia death : exeept that at some times he appeared a Uttle lost fqr a moment, whea
first waking out of sleep.
t Here ends hit. diary. These are the last words irfaich are written in it either
by his own hand, or by any other from his moutti.
412 MEMOIRS 07 BRAINKKB.
On the morning of the next day, being Lord^s day, Oct 4,
as my daughter Jerusha, who chiefly attended him, came into
the room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, ^ Dear Je*
rusha, are you willing to part with me 7 — 1 am quite willing to
part with you : I am wilhng to part with all my friends, 1 am
willing to part with my dear brother John, although I 'love
him Uie best of any creature living : 1 have committed
him and all my friends to God, and can leave them with
God. Though if I thought I should not see you, and be happy
with you in another world, 1 could not bear to part with you.
But we shall spend an h^ppy eternity together !^^* In the eve-
ning, as one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, he
expressed himself thus : ^^ O that dear book ! that lovely
book 1 1 shall soon see it opened I the mysteries that are in it
and the mysteries of God^s providence will be all unfolded P^
{lis distemper now very apparently preyed on his vitals in an
extraordinary manner : not by a sudden breaking of ulc^v in
his lungs, as at Boston, but by a constant discharge of purulent
matter, in great quantities : so that what he brought up by ex-
pectoration, seemed to be as it were mouthfuTs of almost
clear pus ; which was attended with very inward pain and dis-
tress.
On Tuesday^ Oct. 6, he lay, for a considerable time, as if he
were dying. At which time, he was heard to utter, in brokai
whispers, such expressions as these : " He will come, he will not
tarry. — I shall soon be in glory. — I shall soon glorify God with
the angels," — But after some time he revived.
The next day, Wednesday^ Oct. 7, his brother John arrived
from New-Jersey ; where he had been detained much longer
than he intended by a mortal sickness prevailing among the chris-
tian Indians, and by some other circumstances that made his
stay with them necessary. Brainerd was affected and refreshed
* Since this, it has pleased a holy and sovereign God to take away this my dear
child by death, on the 14th of February, next following, after a short illness of
five days, in the eighteenth year of her age. She wa? a person of much the same
spirit with Brainerd. She had constantly taken care of, and attended him in his
sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death : devoting herself to it with great
delight, because she looked on him as an eminent servant ot Jesus Christ. In
this time, he had much conversation with her on the thing? of religion ; and in
his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, hisgr^at satisfaction concerning
her true piety, and his confidence that he should meet her in heaven, and his
high opinion of her, not only as a true Christian bu* a ver^ eminent saint, one
whose SQul was uncommonly fed and entertained with things which apjiertain to
the most spiritual, expt^rimental, and di'^tingui&hing parts of reli&^ion : and one
who, by the temper of her mind, was fitted to deny herself for God and to do
good, beyond any young woman whatsoever, whom he knew. She had mani-
fested a heart uncommonly devoted to God, in the course of her life, many years
before her death ; and said on her death bed that ^^ she had not seen one minute
for several years, wherem she desired to live one minute longer, for the sake of
any other good in life but doing good, living to God, and doing what might be
for his glory."
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 413
with seeing him, and appeared fully satisfied with the reasons
of his delay *, seeing the interest of rehgion and the souls of his
people required it.
The next day, Thursday^ Oct. 8, he was in great distress and
agonies of body ; and for the greater part of the day, was much
disordered as to the exercise of his reason. In the evening, he
was more composed, and had the use of his reason well, but the
pain of his body continued and increased. He told me that it
was impossible for any one to conceive of the distress which he
felt in his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should
dishonour God by impatience, under his extreme agony ; which
was such, that he said, the thought of enduring it one minute
longer was almost insupportable. He desired that others would
be much in lifting up their hearts continually to God for him,
that God would support him, and give him patience. He signi^
fied, that he expected to die that night ; but seemed to fear a
longer delay : and the disposition of his mind with regard to
death, appeared still the same that it had been all along. And
notwithstanding his bodily agonies, yet the interest of Zion lay
still with great weight on his mind ; as appeared by some con-
siderable discourse he had that evening with the Re v. Mr. Billing,
one of the neighbouring ministers, who was then present, con-
cerning the great importance of the work of the ministry. After-
wards, when it was very late in the night, he had much very pro-
per and profitable discourse with his brother John, concerning his
congregation in New-Jersey, and the interest of religion among
the Indians. In the latter part of the night, his bodily distress
seemed to rise to a greater height than ever; and he said to those
then about him, that '' it was another thing to die, than people
imagined;" explaining himself to mean that they were not aware
what bodily pain and anguish is undergone before death. To-
wards day, his eyes fixed ; and he continued lying immoveable,
till about six o'clock, on Friday, Oct. 9, 1747, when his soul, as
we may well conclude, was received by his dear Lord and Mas-
ter, as an eminently faithful servant, into that state of perfec-
tion of holiness, and fruition of God for which he had so often
and so ardently longed ; and was welcomed by the glorious
assembly in the upper world, as one peculiarly fitted to join
them in their blessed employ and enjoyment.
Much respect was shown to his memory at his funeral ; which
was on the Monday following, after a sermon preached the same
day on that solemn occasion. His funeral was attended by eight
of the neighbouring ministers, and seventeen other gentlemen of
liberal education, and a great concourse of people.
r
CHAPTER XIII.
Rejections on Ihepreceding Memoirs.
We have here an opportunity, as I apprehend, in a very lively
instance, to see the nature of true religion ; and the manner of
ita operation ; when exempliiied in a high degree and in power-
ful exercise. Particularly it may be worthy to be observed,
I. How greatly Brainekd's religion differed from that of
some pretenders to the experience of a clectr work of saving
conversion wrought on their hearts ; who, depending and living
on that, settle in a cold, carelets, and carnal frame of mind,
and in a neglect of a Uiorough, earnest religion, in the stated
practice of it. Although his convictions and conversion were
in all respects exceedingly clear, and very remarkable ; yet how
far was he from acting as though lie thought he had got through
his work, when once he had obtained comfort, and satisfaction
of his interest in Christ, and title to heaven i On the contrary,
that work on his heart, by which he was brought to this, was
with him evidently but the beginning of his work ; his first en-
tering on the great business of religion and the service of God
bis first setting out in his race. His obtaining rest of soul in
Christ, after earnest striving to enter in at the strait gate, and
being violent to take the kingdom of heaven, he did not look
upon as putting an end to any furtlier occasion for striving in
religion, but these were continued etill and maintained constant-
ly, through all changes, to the very end of life. His work was
not finished, nor his race ended, till life was ended ; agreeably
to frequent scriptural representations of the Christian life. He
continued pressing forward in a constant manner, " forgetting
the things that were behind and reaching forth to the things that
were before.^' His pains and earnestness in the business of re-
ligion were rather increased than diminished, after he had re-
ceived comfort and satisfaction concerning the safety of bis
state. Those divine principles, by which after this he was ac-
tuated, love to God, longings and thirstings after holiness, seem
to have been more effectual to engage him to labour and ac-
tivity in religion, than the fear of hell had been before.
As his conversion was not the end of his work, or of the
course of his diligence and strivings in religion ; so neither was
it the end of the work of the Spirit of God on his heart. On
the contrary, it was the beginnmg of the work; the beginning
of his spiritual discoveries, and holy views ; the first dawning of
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 415
the light,which thenceforth increased more and more, the begin-
ning of his holy affections, his sorrow for sin, his love to God,
his rejoicing in Christ Jesus, his longing after holiness. The
powerful operations of the Spirit of God in these things, were
carried on from the day of his conversion, in a continued
course, to his dying day. His religious experiences, his admi-
ration, his joy, praise and flowing affections, did not maintain a
considerable height merely for a few days^and weeks, or months
at first, while hope and comfort were new things with him ;
and then gradually dwindle and die away, till they came to al-
most nothmg, and so leave him without any sensible or remark-
able experience of spiritual discoveries, or holy and divine af-
fections for months together. Many, after the effect of novelty
is over, soon find their situation and feelings very much the same
as before their supposed conversion, with respect to any present
views of God's glory, of Christ's excellency, or of the beauty of
divine things ; and with respect to any present thirstings for God,
or ardent out-goings of their souls after divine objects. Now
and then, indeed, they have a comfortable reflection on the past,
and are somewhat affected with the remembrance, and so rest
easy, thinking that it is safe, and they doubt not but they shall go
to heaven when they die. Far otherwise was it with Brainerd.
His experiences, instead of dying away, were evidently of an in-
creasing nature. His first love, and other holy affections even
at the beginning were very great; but after the lapse of months
and years, became much greater and more remarkable. The
spiritual exercises of his mind continued exceedingly great,
(though not equally so at all times, yet usually so) without in-
dulged remissness, and without habitual dwindling and dying
away, even till his decease. They began in a time of general
deadness all over the land, and were greatly increased in a time
of general reviving of religion. When religion decayed again,
and a general deadness returned, his experiences were still kept
up in meir height, and his holy exercises maintained in their life
and vigour. Thus they continued wherever he was, and whatever
his eireumstances were ; among English and Indians, in compa-
ny and alone, in towns and cities, and in the howl ins: wilder-
ness, in sickness and in health, living and dying. This is agree-
able to the scriptural descriptions of true and genuine religion,
and of the Christian life. The change wrought in him at his
conversion was agreeable to the scriptural representations of
that change which is wrought in true conversion ; a great change
and an abiding change, rendering him a new man, a new crea-
ture ; not merely a change as to hope and comfort, and an appre-
hension of his own good estate, and a transient change, consis-
ting in high flights of passing affection ; but a change of nature,
a change of the abiding habit and temper of his mind. Not a
partial change merely in- point of opinion, or outward reforma-
416 MBMOiftS 6W BRAlVtM.
tion ( iDUch less a change from one error to another ; or 6nM
one sin to another ; but an universal change, both intBtfiiat and
external ; as from corrupt and dangerous principles in rdisKMi^
unto the belief of the truth, so from both the habits aod^
ways of sin^ unto universal holiness of heart and practice ; from
the power and service of Satan unto God.
IL His religion apparently and greatly ditEsred from that
of many high pretenders to religion, who are frequently actu-
ated by vehement emotions of mind, and are carried cm in a
course of sudden and strong impressions, and supposed bi|^
illuminations and immediate discoveries ; and at the saiAe
time are persons of a virulent ^ zeal, not according to luiow-
ledffe,''
His conyictions, preceding his conversion, did n6t arise from
any frightful impressions of his imagination, or any ext^nal ima-
ges and ideas of fire and brimstone^ a sword of vengeance cfrawn,
a dark pit open^ devils in terrible shapes, iLti tftron^ly fixed on
his mind. His sieht of his own sinfulness did not consiM ia
any imagination of a heap of loathsome material filthiness witluii
him ; nor did his sense of the hardness of his heart consist ia
any bodily feeling in ins breast of something hard tfnd heavy
like a stone^ nor in any imaginations whatever of such a
His first discovery of Q^ or Christ, at his conversion,
not any strong idea of any externsll glory or brightness, or ma^
jesty and beauty of countenance, or pleasant voice ; nor was it
any supposed immediate manifestation of GodV love to him
in particular ; nor any imagination of Christ ^s smiling face, arms
open, or words immediately spoken to him, as by name reveal-
ing Christ's love to him ; either words of scripture, or any other.
But it was a manifestation of God's glory, and the beauty of his
nature, as supremely excellent in itself; powerfully drawing, and
sweetly captivating his heart, and bringing him to a hearty
desire to exalt God^ to set him on the throne, and to give him
supreme honour and glory as the King and Sovereign of the Uni-
verse : and also a new sense of the infinite wisdom^ suitableness,
and excellency of the way of salvation by Christ ; powerfully en-
gaging his whole soul to embrace this way of salvation and to de-
light in it. His first faith did not consist in believing that Christ
loved him, and died for him in particular. His first comfort was
not from any secret suggestion of God's eternal love to him or
that God was reconciled to him or intended great mercy for
him ; by any such texts as these, " Son be of good cheer, thy
sins are forgiven thee. Fear not, I am thy God," &c. or in any
such way. On the contrary, when God's glory was first disco-
vered to him, it was without any thought of salvation as his own^
His first experience of the sanctifying and comforting power o(
God's spirit did not begin in some bodily sensation, any plea*
sant vv^rm feeling in his breast which some would have called
MBMOIRS OF BRAIN£BD. 41T
feeling the love of Christ in him and being full of 'the Spirit.
How exceedingly far were his experiences, at his first conver-
sion, from all things of such a nature.
If we look through the whole series of his experiences, from
his conversion to his death, we shall find none of this kind. I
have had occasion to read his diary over and over, and very par-
ticularly and critically to review every passage in it ; and I find
no one instance of a strong impression on his imagination,
through his whole life ; no instance of a strongly impressed idea
of any external glory and brightness, of any bodily form or
shape, any beautiml majestic countenance. There is no imagi-
nary sight of Christ hanging on the cross with his blood stream-
ing from his wounds ; or seated in heaven on a bright throne,
with angels and saints bowing before him ; or with a counte-
nance smiling on him ; or arms open to embrace him : no sight
of heaven, in his imagination, with gates of pearl, and golden
streets, and vast multitudes of glorious inhabitants, with shining
ffarments. There is no sight of the book of life opened, with
his name written in it ; no hearing of the sweet music made by
the sones of heavenly hosts ; no hearing God or Christ im-
mediately speaking to him ; nor any sudden suggestions of
words or sentences, either of scripture or any other, as then im-
mediately spoken or sent to him ; no new objective revelations ;
no sudden strong suggestions of secret facts. Nor do I find any
one instance in all the records which he has left of his own
life, from beginning to end, of joy excited from a supposed im-
maJio^e witness of the Spirit; or inward immediate suggestion,
that his state was surely good, that God loved him with an
everlasting love, that Christ died for him in particular, and that
heaven was his ; either with or without a text of scripture. There
is no instance of comfort from any sudden suggestion to his
mind, as though at that very time directed by God to him in
particular, of any such texts as these ; " Fear not ; I am with
the§ ;" — " It is your father's good pleasure to give you the
kingdom ;" — " you have not chosen me, but I have chosen
you ;" — " I have called thee by thy name, thou art mine ;'' —
" Before thou wast formed in the belly, I knew thee;" &c. There
is no supposed communion and conversation with God carried
on in this way ; nor any such supposed tasting of the love of
Christ. But the way in which he was satisfied of his own good
estate, even to the entire abolishing of fear, was by feeling with-
in himself the lively actings of a holy temper and heavenly dis-
position, the vigorous exercises of that divine love which casteth
out fear. This was the way in which he had full satisfaction
soon after his conversion, (see his diary for Oct. 18. and 19,
17^^ We find no other way of satisfaction through his whole
life afterwards ; and this he abundantly declared to be the way^
Vol, X. 53
VSHOlltS or BKAI5KB1I.
the only war, in which he had complete
looked deatn in the face, in its oear approaches.
Some of the pretenden to an immediate witness by bub-
gestjon, and defenders of it, with an assuming coafidence would
persuade ua, that that there is no full assurance without il ; and
tbat the way of being satiKSed b^signtt, and arguing an interest
in Christ from sanctification, tf it will keep men quiet in life
and health, yet will never do when they come to die. Then,
^y say, men must have mmediate witness, or else be in
a cbeadmi uncertainty. BbaikxRd's experience is a confuta-
tion of this ; for in bun we have an instance of one who pos-
sessed 8s coBBtant, as unshaken an assurance, through the course
of bia life, after conversion, as perhaps can be produced in this
age. Yet be obtained and eQJt^ed it without any such sort
<n tMtuBORjr, and without the least appearance of it, or pretence
to it ; yea, while utterly discluming any such thing, and decla-
ring against it. His assurance, we need not scruple to alBnu,
has as fair a claim, and as jost a pretension, to truth and genu-
ineness, as any which the pretenders to immediate wilnets can
prodace. He not onljr bad such assurance in life, but had it
- u a constant manner m Aw hut iilnets ; and particularly in the
latter stages of it, through those last months of his life where-
in' deqth was more sensibly approaching, without the least hope
of life. He had it too in lie fatness, and in the height of its
exercise, under repeated trials, in this space of time; when
brought from time to time to the very brink nf the grave, expect-
ing in a few minutes to be in eternity. He had " the full assu-
rance of hope, unto the end." When on the verge ofetemity,lie
then declared his assurance to be such as perfectly exclade^ all
fear. Not only so, but it manifestly filled his soul with exceed-
ing joy ; he declaring at the same time, that this his consolation
and good hope through grace, arose wholly from the evidence he
had of his good estate, by what he founo of bis sanctificatioo,
or the exercise ofa holy heavenly temper of mind, Buprenclove
to God, &c. and not intheleastfrom any immafiofewitnessl^
suggestion. Yea, he declares that, at these very times, he sqw the
awful delusion of that confidence which is built on sucb a fomt-
dation, as well as of the whole of that religion which it usnallf
springs from, or at least is the attendant of; and that his soul ab-
horred those delusions : and he continued in this mind, often ex-
pressing it with much solemnity, even till death.
III. BaAiNEao's religion was not selfish and mercenary ; his
love to God was primarily and principally for.the supreme ex-
cellency of his oion nature, and not built on a preconceived no-
tion that God loved him, had received him into favour, and htt^
done great things for him, or promised great things (p Am-
His joy was joy in God, and not in himself. We See by his
MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 419
diary how, from time to time, through the course of his life, his
soul was filled with ineffable sweetness and comfort. But what
Was the spring of this strong and abiding consolation ? Not so
lAttcfa the consideration of the sure grounds he had to think that his
state was good, that God had delivered him from hell, and that
lieaveti was his ; or any thoughts concerning his own distin-
guished happy and exalted circumstances, as a high favourite
of JEfeot^en ; but the sweet meditations and refreshing views he
hsid of divine things without himself ; the affecting considera-
tions and lively ideas of God^s infinite glory, his unchangeable
blessedness, his sovereignty and universal dominion ; together
with the sweet exercises of love to God, giving himself up tohim
abasing himself before him, denying himself for him, depend-
ing upon him, acting for his glory, diligently serving him ; and
the pleasing prospect or hopes he had of a future advancement
of the kingdom of Christ, &c.
It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from his con-
version to his death, that the sort of good, which was the great
object of the new relish and appetite given him in conversion,
and thenceforward maintained and increased in his heart,
wias HOLINESS, conformity to God, hving to God, and glorify-
ing him. This was what drew his heart ; this was the centre
ofhis soul ; this was the ocean to which all the streams of his
religious affections tended ; this was the object which engaged
his eager thirsting desires and earnest pursuits. He knew no true
excel^ncy, or happiness, but this ; this was what he longed for
most Vehemently and constantly on earth ; and this was with
bim the beauty and blessedness of heaven. This made him so
much and so often lon^ for that world of glory. It was to be
jperfectly holy, and perfectly exercised in the holy employments
of heaven ; and thus," to glorify God and enjoy him for ever.''
His religious illuminations, affections, and comfort, seemed,
to a great degree, to be attended with evangelical humiliation ;
consisting in a sense of his own utter insufficiency, despicable-
ness, and odiousness : with an answerable disposition and frame
of heart. How deeply affected was he almost continually with
his great defects in religion ; with his vast distance from that
spirituality and holy frame of mind that became him ; with his
ignorance, pride, deadness, unsteadiness, barrenness ! He was
not only affected with the remembrance of his former sinfulness
before his conversion, but with the sense of his present vileness
and pollution. He was not only disposed to tnink meanly of
himself as brfore God^ and in comparison of him ; but amongst
men, and as compared with them. He was apt to think other
saints better than himself; yea, to look on himself as the mean-
est and least of saints ; yea, very often, as the vilest and worst of
mankind. And notwithstanding his great attainments in spirit
tual "knowledge^ yet we find there is scarce any thing, widi a
4^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKP.
sense of which he is more frequently affected and abased, than
his ignorance.
How eminently did he appear to be of a meek and ftctel
spirit, resembling the lamb-like, dove-like spirit of Jesus Christ I
How full of love, meekness, quietness, forgiveness, and mercy !
His love was not merely a fondness and zeal for a party, but an
universal benevolence ; very often exercised in the most sensible
and ardent love to his greatest opposers and enemies. His love
and meekness were not a mere pretence, and outward profes-
sion and show ; but they were effectual things, manifested in ex-
pensive and laborious deeds of love and kindness ; and in a
meek behaviour ; readily confessing faults under the greatest
trials, and humbling himself even at the feet of those from whom
he supposed he had suffered most ; and from time to time very
frequently praying for his enemies, abhorring the thoughts of
bitterness or resentment towards them. I scarcely know where
to look for any parallel instance of self-denial, in these respects,
in the present age. He was a person of great zeal ; but bow did
he abhor a bitter zeal, and lament it where he saw it I And
though he was once drawn into some degrees of it, by the force
of prevailing example, as it were in his childhood ; yet how did
he go about with a heart bruised and broken in pieces for it
all his life after !
Of how soft and tender a spirit was he ! How far were his
experiences, hopes, and joys, from a tendency finally to stupify
and harden him, to lessen convictions and tenderness of con-
science, to cause him to be less affected with present and past
sins, and less conscientious with respect to future sins. How
far were they from making him more easy, in neglect of duties
which are troublesome and inconvenient, more slow and par-
tial in complying with difficult commands, less apt to be alarm-
ed at the appearance of his own defects and transgressions,
more easily induced to a compliance with carnal appetites !
On the contrary, how tender was his conscience ! how apt was
his heart to smite him ! how easily and greatly was he alarmed
at the appearance of moral evil ! how great and constant was
his jealousy over his own heart ! how strict his care and watch-
fulness against sin I how deep and sensible were the wounds
that sin made in his conscience! Those evils which are ge-
nerally accounted small, were almost an insupportable burden
to him ; such as his inward deficiencies, his having no more love
to God, finding within himself any slackness in religion, any un-
steadiness or wandering frame of mind. How did the consi-
deration of such things as these oppress and abase him, and fill
him with inward shame and confusion I His love and hope,
though they were such as cast out a servile fear of hell, yet
were attended with, and abundantly cherished and promoted a
reverential filial fear of God, a dread oif sin and of God's holy
MBMOIftS OF BRAINERD. 421
displeasure. His joy seemed truly to be a rejoicing with trem-
bling. His assurance and comfort differed greatly from a false
enthusiastic confidence and joy, in that it promoted and main-
tained mourning for sin. Holy mourning with him, was not
only the work oT an hour or af day, at his first conversion ; but
sorrow for sin was like a wound constantly running ; he was a
mourner for sin all his days. He did not, afiter he received
comfort and full satisfaction of the forgiveness of all his sins,
and the safety of his state, forget his past sins, the sins of his
jouth, committed before his conversion; but the remembrance
of them, fi'om time to time, revived in his heart, with renewed
Eief, That passage [Ezek xvi. 63.] was evidently fulfilled in
m," That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and
never open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame ; when
I am pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done." And
how lastingly did the sins he committed after his conversion
affect and break his heart ! If he did any thing whereby he
thought he had in any respect dishonoured God, and wounded
the interest of religion, he had never done with calling it to
mind with sorrow and bitterness ; though he was assured that God
had forgiven it, yet he never forgave himself; his past sorrows
and fears made no satisfaction, with him ; but still the wound
renews and bleeds afresh, again, and again. And his present
ains, those he daily found in himself, were an occasion of daily,
sensible, and deep sorrpw of heart.
His religion did not consist in unaccountable flights and ve-
hement pangs ; suddenly rising, and suddenly falling ; at times
exalted almost to the third heavens, and then negligent, vain,
carnal, and swallowed up with the world, for days and weeks,
if not months together. His religion was not like a blazing
meteor, or like a flaming comet, (or a wandering star, as the
apostle Jude calls it, ver. 13.) flying through the firmament with
a bright train, and then quickly departing into perfect darkness ;
but more like the steady lights of heaven, constant principles of
liffht, though sometimes hid w4th clouds. Nor like a land-flood
which flows far and wide with a rapid stream, bearing down all
before it, and then dries up ; but more like a stream, fed by living
springs ; which, though sometimes increased by showers, and, at
other times diminished by drought, yet is a constant stream.
His religious affections and joys were not like those of some
who have rapture and mighty emotions from time to time in
company ; but have very little affection in retirement and secret
places. Though he was of a verj' sociable temper, and loved
the company of saints, and delighted very much in religious
Conversation, and in social worship ; yet his warmest affections,
and their greatest effects on animal nature, and his sweetest
joys, were in his closet devotions, and solitary transactions be-
tween God and his own soul : as is very observable through his
4fiS MtMoims or beaimxro.
whole course, from his convenion to his death. He deli|dbted
ipreatly in sacred retirements ; and loved to get quite away nom
all the world, to converse with God alone in secret dotiek
Brainerd^s experiences and comforts were very fiir firom behitf
like those of some persons, which are attended with a apiritma
0atiety, and which put an end to their religious desires and loi^-
iiigs, at least to the edge and ardency of them ; restiiig latis-
fiM in their own attainments and comforts, as haVlM obtunc4
thei chief end, which is to extinguish their fears of hel), and
give them confidence of the favour of God. On the contraiy,
%ey were always attended with longings and thirstinn idEtielr
gir^ter decrees of conformity to God ! The greater and tweet-
er his comforts were, the more vehement were his dionres alter
holiness. His longings were not so much after jovftd diMX>verM
ofGod^s love, and clear views of his own title to niture advance-
tnent and eternal honours in heaven, as after moreof presenil kofi-
ness, greater spirituality, an heart more engaged for God, to love,
and exalt, ana depend on him. He eamestlv wished to Mfve
God better, to do more for his ^lory, to do all that be cUd with
fnore of a regard to Christ as his riffhteousness abd s tiN ^lh ,
afad to behold the enlargement and advancement ofhis kingdom
ob earth. His desires were not idle wishes, but steb ats initt
powerfiil and effectual, to animate him to the eiurneilt^ eatfe^
1>ur8uit of these things, with the utmost diligence aind insfaiBluU^
abour and self-denial. His comfi^ts iever put an end to ho
seeking after God, and striving to obtain his grace ; bat, on
the contrary, greatly engaged him therein.
IV. His religion did not consist in ex-perience without practice.
All his inward illuminations^ affections, and comforts, seemed to
have a direct tendency to practice, and to issue in it : and this,
not merely a practice negatively good, free from gross acts of
irreligion and immorality ; but a practice positivety holy and
christian, in a serious, devout, humble, meek, merciful, cha-
ritable, and beneficent conversation, making the service of
God and our Lord Jesus Christ, the great business of life, to
which he was devoted, and which he pursued with the greatest
earnestness and diligence to the end of his days» through all
trials. In him was to be seen the right way of being lively in
religion. His liveliness in religion, did not consist merely, or
mainly, in his being lively with the tongue, but in deed ; not in
being forward in profession and outward show, and abundant in
deiclaring his own experiences ; but chiefly in being active and
abundant in the labours and duties of religion ; ^^ not slothful in
business, but fervent in spirit serving the Lord, and serving his
generation, according to the will of God." By these things, ma-
ny high pretenders to "religion, and professors of extraordinary
spiritual experience, may be sensible that Braikerd did great-
ly condemn their kind ot religion \ and that not only in word, but
Memoirs of braim£rd. 423
bv example, both living and dying ; as the whole series of his
cnristian experience and practice, from his conversion to hi£f
death, appears a constant condemnation of it«
It cannot be objected, that the reason why he so much dis-
liked the religion of these pretenders, and why his own so much
differed from it, was, that his experiences were not clear, 'i heir
is no room to say, they were otherwise, in any respect, in which
clearness of experience has been wont to be insisted on ; whether
it be the clearness of their nature or of their order^ and the
method in which his soul first found rest and comfort in his con-
version. 1 am far from thinking, and so was he, that clearness
in the order of experiences is, in any me&ure, of equal impor-
tance with the clearness of their nature. I have sufficiently de-
clared in my discourse on religious affections, which he express-
ly approved of and recommended, that I do not suppose, a sensi-
ble distinctness of the steps of the spirit^s operation and method
of successive convictions and illuminations, is a necessary' re-
quisite to persons being received in full charity, as true saints ;
provided the nature of the things which they profess be right,
^d their practice correspondent Nevertheless, it is observa-
ble, — a fact which cuts off all objection from such as would be
most unreasonably disposed to object and cavil in the present
case, — that Brainerd's experiences were not only clear in the
latter respect, but remarkably so in the former ; so that there is
not perhaps one instance in five hundred true converts, which on
ttiis account can be paralleled with him.
It cannot be pretended, that the reason why he so much con-
demned the experiences of those whose first faith consists in
believing that Christ is theirs^ and that Christ died for them ;
without any previous experience of union of heart to him, for
his excellency as he is in himself, and not for his supposed love
to them — and who judge of their interest in Christ, their justi-
fication, and God's love to them, not by their sanctification,
and the exercises and fruits of grace, but by a supposed imme"
diate witness of the Spirit, by inward suggestion — was that he
was of a too legal spirit, or that he never was dead to the law,
never experienced thorough work of conviction, was never fully
brought off from his own righteousness, and weaned from the
old covenant hy a thorough legal humilation ; or that afterwards
he had no great degree of evangelical humiliation, not living in
a dieep sense of his own emptiness, wretchedness, poverty, and
absolute dependence on the mere grace of God through Christ.
His convictions of sin preceding his first consolations in Christ,
were exceedingly deep and thorough ; his trouble and exercise
of mind, from a sense of sin and misery, very great, and long con-
tinuedy and the light let into his mind at his conversion, and in
Erogressive sanctification, appears to have had its genuine hum-
Kng influence upon him, to have kept him low in his own eyes.
^4 . HXMOmS OF BftAimBEJ^.
not confidi^ in himself, but in Christ,^ liviiu; by the fiuth of
the sori of uod, and looking for the mercy ofthe Lord Jesos
to eternal life.^^ ^
Nor can it be pretended, that the reason why he condemned
these, and other things, which this sort of people call the ?eiy
essence of vital reli^on, and the power of godfiness, was, th2t
he was a dead Ckruiian^ and lived m the aark^ as they express
themselvcSB ;that his experiences, though thev mi^^t be true were
not great ; that he did not live near to God ; that he had hot a
smaH acquuntance with him ; or that he had but a dim sight of
spiritual things. If any, after they have read the preceding ac-
count of BEAnBED^s life, will venture to pretend tiiis» they will
only show that they themMehe$ are in the dark^ and do indeed
«*pot darkness for wht, and light for darimess.^
It is common with this sort of people, if there are aiqr, whom
they cannot deny to exhibit good evidences of true jpNlUnesii
who yet appear to dislike their notions — and condemn, those
things, wherein th^ place the height of religion — :to insinuate,
that they are afrmaofllu crott^ and have a mind to wecitre ike
fa^awr ofthe world and the like. But this will not be allcmd
concemmff BaAl)f bed, by any one who has read the jM«<MNuqg
account m his life. It must be obvious to every one, thai he
was an extraordinary, and almost unparalleled instance in these
times, and these parts of the world, of the contrary dispositioo ;
and that, whether we consider what he has recorded of his in-
ward experience from time to time ; or his practice, how he in
fact took up and embraced the cross^ and bore it constantly, in
his great self-denials, labours and sufferings for the name of Jesus,
and went on without fainting, without repining^ to his dyinff ill-
ness; how he did not only, troni time to time relinquish and re-
nounce the world secretly in his heart, with the full and fervent
consent of all the powers of his soul ; but openly and actually
forsook the worlds with its possessions, delights, and common
comforts, to dwell as it were with wild beasts, in a howling wil-
derness ; with constant cheerfulness, complying with the nume-
rous hardships of a life of toil and travail there, to promote the
kingdom of his dear Redeemer. Besides, it appears by the
preceding histor}', that he never did more condemn the things
referred to, never had a greater sense of their delusion, pernicious
nature, and ill tendency, and never was more full of pity to those
who are led away with them, than in his last illness,, and at
times when he had the nearest prospect of death, and supposed
himself to be on the very brink of eternity. Surely he did not con-
demn those things at these seasons, only to secure the favour
ofthe world.
V. Beside what has been already related of Brainbed*s sen-
timents in his dying state concerning true and false religion, we
have his deliberate and solemn thoughts on this subject in his
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD* 4^
preface to Mr. Shepard's diary, before mentioned, which, when
he wrote it, he supposed to be, as it proved, one of the last things
he should ever write. I shall here insert a part of that preface^
as follows : —
^ How much stress is laid by many upon some things as being
effects and evidences of exalted degrees of religion, when thev
are so far from being of any importance in it, that they are real-
ly irreligious, a mixture of self-love^ imagination^ and spiritual
pride^ or perhaps the influence of Satan transformed into an an-
gel of light ; I say, how much stress is laid on these things by
many, I shall not determine : but it is much to be feared, that
while God was carrying on a glorious work of grace, and un-
doubtedly gathering a harvest of souls to himself, which we should
always remember with thankfulness, numbers of others have, at
the same time been fatally deluded by the devices of the devil,
and their own corrupt hearts. It is to be feared, that the con-
versions of some have no better foundation than this; viz. that
after they have been under some concern for their souls for a
while, and it may be manifested some very great and uncom«
mon distress and agonies, they have on a sudden imagined that
they saw Christy in some posture or other, perhaps on the cross,
bleeding and dying for their sins; or it may be, smiling on them
and thereby signifying his love to them ; and that these and the
like things, though mere imaginations, which have nothing spiri-
tual in them, have instantly removed all their fears and distress-
es, filled them with raptures of joy and made them imagine, that
they loved Christ with all their hearts; when the bottom of all
was nothing but self -love. For when they imagined that Christ
had been so good to them as to save them, and as it were to sin-
gle them out of all the world, they could not but feel some kind
of natural gratitude to him ; although they never had any spiri-
tual view of his divine glory, excellency, and beauty, and con-
sequently never had any love to him for himself. Others having
had a passage, or perhaps many passages of scripture^ brought
to their minds with power^ as they express it, such as that,
** Son be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee," and the like;
have immediately applied these passages to themselves^ sup-
posing that God hereoy manifested his peculiar favour to them^
as if mentioned by name ; never considering, that they are now
giving heed to new revelations, there being no such thing re-
vealed in the word of God, as that this or that particular person
has, or ever shall have his sins forgiven ; nor yet remembering,
that Satan can with a gieat deal of seeming pertinency, and per-
haps also with considerable power, bring scripture to the minds
of men, as he did to Christ himself Thus these persons rejoice
in having a passage of scripture suddenly suggested to them or
impressed upon their minds, supposing they are now the chil-»
4M MEMOIRS OF BRAINKRD*
dren of God ; just as the others did in their imaginary views o(
Christ. Some speak of seeing a great light which filled all the
place where they were, and cnspelled all their darkness, fears,
and distresses, and almost ravished their souls. — While others
have had it warmly suggested to their minds, not by any pas-
sage of scripture, but as it were by a whisper or voice from hea-
ven, " That God loves them, that Christ is theirs,'' ifec. which
groundless imaginations and suggestions of Satan have bad the
same effect upon them, that the delusions before mentioned had
on the others. As is the conversion of this sort of persons, so
are their after eicperiences ; the whole being built upon imagi-
nation, strong impressions, and sudden suggestions made to
their minds ; whence they are usually extremely confident, as
if immediately informed from God, not only of the goodness
of their own state, but of their infallible knowledge, and abso-
lute certainty, of the truth of every thing to which they pretend
under the notion of religion ; and thus all reasoning with some
of them is utterly excluded.
** But it is remarkable of these, that they are extremely defi-
cient in true poverty of spirit, a sense of exceeding vileness in
themselves, such as frequently makes truly gracious souls to
groan^ being burdened ; as also in meekness, love, gentleness
towards mankind, and tenderness of conscience in their ordi-
nary afiairs and dealings in the world. It is rare to see them
deeply concerned about the principles and ends of their actions,
and under fears lest they should not eye the glory of God chiefly,
but live to themselves; or this at least is the case in their orcli-
nary conduct, whether civil or religious. But if any one of their
particular notions^ which their zeal has espoused, be attacked,
they are then so conscientious, they mus^ burn^ if called to it,
for its defence. At the same time while they are so extremely
deficient in these precious divine tempers^ which have been men-
tioned, they are usually full of zeal^ concern, and fervency in
the things of religion, and often discourse of them with much
warmth and engagedness : and to those, who do not know, or
do not consider, wherein the essence of true religion consists
— viz. in being conformed to the image of Christy not in point of
zeal and fervency only, but in all divine tempers and practices
— Ihey often appear like the best of men."
It is common with this sort of people to say, that " God is
among them, that his Spirit accompanies their exhortations, and
other administrations, and that they are sealed by the Holy
Ghost in the remarkable success which they have, in the great
affections which are stirred up in God's people," &c. and to in-
sinuate on the contrary, that " he is not with their opponents f
and particularly, " that God has forsaken the standing ministry ;
that the time is come, when it is the will of God that they should
be pat down, and that God's people should forsake them ; and
that no more success is to be expected to attend their adminis-
trations/V But where can they find an instance, among all
their most flaming exhorters^ who has been sealed witli so in-
contestable and wonderful success of his labours, as Brainerd,
not only in quickening and comforting God^s children, but als<»
in a work of conviction and conversion, which they own has in
a great measure ceased for a long time among themselves, with
a most visible and astonishing manifestation of God's power ?
This, too, was on subjects, who were extremly unprepared,
and who had been brought up and lived, some of them to old
age, in the deepest prejudices against the very first principles
of Christianity ; and yet we find the divine power accompany-
ing his labours, producing the most remarkable and abiding
change, turning the wilderness into a fruitful field, and causing
that which was a desert indeed to bud and blossom as the rose.
And this, although he was not only one of their greatest oppo-
nents in their errors ; but also one of those whom they call the
standing ministry ; first examined and licensed to preach by
such ministers^ and sent forth among the Heathen by such
ministers / and afterwards ordained by such ministers ; alwayjtf
directed by them, and united with them in their consistories,
and administrations ; and even abhorring the practice of those
who give out, that they ought to be renounced, and separated
~ from, and that teachers may be obtained by laymen.
It cannot be pretended by these men,thatBRAiNERD condemn-
.ed their religion, merely because he was not acquainted with
them^ and had not opportunity for full observation of the nature,
operation, and tendency of their experiences ; for he had abun-
dant and peculiar opportunities of such observation and ac-
quaintance. He lived through the late extraordinary time of reli-
gious commotion, and saw the beginning and end, the good and
the bad of it. He had opportunity to see the various operations
and effects which were wrought in this season, more extensively
than any person whom I know. His native place was near the
centre of Connecticut; and he was much conversant in all parts
of that colony. He was conversant in the eastern parts of it,
jifafter the religion which he condemned began much to prevail
there. He was conversant with the zealous people on Long-Isl-
and, from one end of the island to the other ; and also in New-
Jersey and Pennsylvania ; with people of various nations. He
had special opportunities in some places in this province, {Mas-
sachusetts) where there has been very much of this sort of religion,
and at a time when it greatly prevailed. He had conversed
and disputed with multitudes of this sort of people in various
parts, as he told me ; and had seen somewhat of the same ap-
pearances in some of the Indians, to whom he had preached »
and had opportunity to see the beginning and end of them.
Besides, Brainerb could speak more feelingly concerning thtfte
MEMOIRS or IBAtMEBS.
things, because there wan once a time whoa he wai drawn
away into an esteem of them, and fat a short aeaaoD had oaited
hinHeJf to this kind of people, and partook, in soiDe nspecVtrf
their spirit and behaviour. But I proceed to another c*"
tion OD the foregoing memoirs.
BarLXCTion ii.
Thiihiatory of Bkiiheed mav help na to make distinctiotu
among the h^b religious aff'ecttont and remurkablc impressiont
made on the minds of persons, in a time of great awaketting,
and retmal iff religion I and maj convince us, that there ara
not only distmctioos in theory, mventfd to save the credit of
pretended revivals of religion, and what is culled ihe experieiux
of the imerationM of the Spirit} but disllnctions which do ac*
tually taae place in the course of events, and have a real aii4
evident foundation in fact. , , ,
Uany do and toiO confound dungs, blend altogether, aojins,
** It is all alike ; it is all of the same sort." So were an nipiijr. -
who say concerning the religion most seoerally prarajfiai
among Separatists, and the affections wiicb they maaifert j
'* It is the same that was all over tbe land seven yean -sigo, .
And some who have read Bbaiherd's Journal giving an account
of the extraordinary things which have come to pass among tbe
Indians in New-Jersey, say, " It is evidently the same thing vrnich
appeared in many places among the Engliiih, which has now
proved naught, and come to what is worae than nothing."
The only reason which they have thus to determine all to oe
the some aiork, and the same spirit^ is that the one manifested
high affections, and so do the other ; that the great a&ections ot
the one bad some influence on their bodies, and so have the
other ; that the one use the terms conviction, conversion, humi-
liation, coming to Christ, discoveries, experitnces, &C and SO
do the other ; that the impressions of tbe one are attended with>
a great deal of zeal, and so it is with the other ; that tbe affec-t
tions of the one dispose them to speak much about things of
religion, and so do the other ; and that the one delight miicb in
religious meetings, and so do the other. The agreement which
appears in these, and similar things, makes them conclude that
surely all is alike, all is the same work. Whereas, on a closer
inspection and more critical examination, it would appear, that
notwithstanding an agreement in such circumstances, yet, in*
deed, there is a vast difference, both in essence and /mux. A
considerable part of the religious operations that were ax or
seven years ago, especially towards the latter part of that extrt'
MEMOIRS OF URAINERD. 429
ordinary season, was doubtless of the same sort with the reli-
gion of the Separatists ; but not all : there were many whose ex-
periences were like Brainerd^s, in a judgment of charity, ge-
nuine and incontestable.
Not only do the opposers of all religion which consists in pow-
erful operations and atfections, thus confound things ; but
many of the pretenders to such religion do the same. They who
have been the subjects of some sort of vehement, but vain ope-
rations on their minds, when they hear the experiences of some
real and eminent Christians related, say, that their experiences
are of the same sort ; and that they are just like the experiences
of eminent christians in former times, of which we have printed
accounts. So, I doubt not, but that there are many deluded
people, who reading the preceding account of Brainerd^s life,
without much understanding or careful observation, would say
without hesitation, that some things which they have met with
are of the very same kind with what he expresses ; when the
agreement is only in some general circumstances^ or some par-
ticular things which are superficial, and belonging as it were to
the profession and outside of religion ; but the inward temper
of mind, and the fruits in practice, are as opposite and distant as
east and west.
Many honesty good people also, and true Christians^ do not
very well know how to make a difference. The glistering ap-
pearance of false religion dazzles their eyes ; and they sometimes
are so deluded by it, that they look on some of these impressions
which hypocrites tell of, as the brightest experiences. And
though they have experienced no such things themselves, they
think it is because they are vastly lower in attainments, and
but babes in comparison of these flaming christians. Yea, some-
times from their differing so much from those who make so
great a show, they doubt whether they have any grace at all.
And it is a hard thing, to bring many well meaning people to
make proper distinctions in this case ; and especially to maintain-
and stand by them. Through a certain weakness, under which
they unhappily labour, they are liable to be overcome with the
glare of outward appearances. Thus, if in a sedate hour, they
are by reasoning brought to allow such and such distinctions,
yet the next time they come in the way of the great show of
false religion, the dazzling appearance swallows them up, and
they are carried away. Thus the devil by his cunning artifices,
easily dazzles the sight of men, and puts them beyond the capa-
city of a proper exercise of consideration, or hearkening to the
dictates of calm thought, and cool understanding. When they
Grceive the great atfection, earnest talk, strong voice, assured
>ks, vast confidence, and bold assertions, of these empty, as-
suming pretenders, they are overborne, lose the possession of
their judgment, and say, " Surely these men are in the right ;
430 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERI).
God is with them of a truth ;" and so they are carried away,
not with light and reason, but, like children, as it were with a
strong wind.
This confounding of all things together, which have a fair
show, is but acting the part of a child, who going into a shop where
a variety of wares are exposed to sale — all of a shining appear-
ance'; vessels of gold and silver; diamonds and other precious
stones; toys of little value, which are of some base metal gilt;
flass polisned and painted with some curious colours, or cut like
iamonds, &c. — should esteem all altke^ and give as great a
price for the vile as for the precious. Or it is like the conduct
of some. unskilful, rash person, who finding himself deceived by
some of the wares which he had bought at that shop, should at
once conclude that all which he there saw was of no value; and
pursuant to such a conclusion, when afterwards he has true gold
and diamonds offered him, enough to enrich him and enable
jtim to live like a prince all his days, he should throw it all into
the sea.
But we must get into another way. The want of distinguish-
ing in things which appertain to experimental religion, is one of
the chief miseries of the professing world. It is attendekl with
very many most dismal consequences ; multitudes of souls are
fatally deluded about themselves, and their own state; and thus
are eternally undone. Hypocrites are confirmed in their delu-
sions, and exceedingly puffed up with pride ; many sincere chris-
tians are dreadfully perplexed, darkened, tempted, and drawn
aside from the way of duty ; and sometimes sadly tainted with
false religion, to the great dishonour of Christianity, and hurt of
their own souls. Some of the most dangerous and pernicious
enemies of religion in the world, [though called bright christians]
are encouraged and honoured, who ought to be discountenanced
and shunned by every body; and prejudices are begotten and
confirmed in vast multitudes, against every thing in which the
power and essence of godliness consists; and in the end, Deism
and Atheism are promoted.
REFLECTION III.
The foregoing account of Braixerd's life may convince us,
that there is indeed such a thing as true experimental religion^
arising from an immediate divine influence, supernaturally en-
lightening and convincing the mind, and powerfully impressing,
quickening, sanctifying, and governing the heart ; which re-
ligion is indeed an amiable thing, of happy tendency, and of no
hurtful consequence to human society ; notwithstanding there
having been so many pretences and appearances of what is
called experimental, vital religion, which have proved to be no-
thing but vain, pernicious enthusiasm.
MEMOIRS OF RRAtNE&ll. 431
t( any insist, that Brainebd^s religion was mere enthusiasm^
the result of a heated imagination, I would ask. What were
the fruits of his enthusiasm ? In him we behold a great degree
of honesty and simplicity ; sincere and earnest desires and endea*
vours to know and do whatever is right, and to avoid every thing
that is wrong ; a high degree of love to God ; delight in the per«
fections of his nature, placing the happiness of life in him, not
only in contemplating him, but in being active in pleasing, and
spring him ; a firm and undoubting belief in the Messiah, as the
Saviour of the world, the great prophet of God, and King of
the church, together n^nth great love to him, delight and com-
placence in the way of salvation by him, and longing for the
enlargement of his kingdom ; earnest desires that God may be
glorified and the Messiah^s kingdom advanced, whatever in-
struments are employed ; uncommon resignation to the will of
God, and that under vast trials ; and great and universal bene-
volence to mankind, reaching all sorts of persons without dis-
tinction, manifested in sweetness of speech and behaviour, kind
treatment, mercy, liberality, and earnest seeking the good of the
souls and bodies of men. All this we behold attended with ex-
traordinary humility, meekness, furgiveness of injuries, and love
to enemies, and a great abhorrence of a contrary spirit and prac-
tice ; not only as appearing in others, but in himself ; causing
the most bitter repentance, and brokenness of heart on account
of any past instances of such a conduct In him we see a mo-
dest, discreet, and decent deportment, among superiors, inferiors,
and equals ; a most diligent improvement of time ; earnest care
to lose no part of it ; and great watchfulness against all sorts
of sin, of heart, speech, and action. This example and these
endeavours we see attended with most happy fruits, and blessed
eflfects on others, in humanizing, civilizing, and wondeiiuily re-
forming and tAnsforming some of the most brutish savages ;
idle, immoral, drunkards, murderers, gross idolaters, and wi-
zards ; bringing th^m to permanent sobriety, diligence, devo-
tion, honesty, conscientiousness, and charity. The foregoing
virtues and successful labours, all end at last in a marvellous
peace, immoveable stability, calmness and resignation, in the
sensible approaches of death : with longing for the heavenly
state ; not only P>r the honours and circumstantial advantages
of it, but above all, fr^r the moral perfection, and holy and
blessed employments of it. These things are seen in a person
indisputably of good understanding and judgment. I therefore
say, if all these things are the fruits of enthusiasm, why shoidd
not enthusiasm be thought a desirable and excellent thing ?
For what can true religion, what can the best philosophy, do
more ? • If vapours and fanaticism will bring men to the most
thorough virtue, to the most benign and fruitful morality ; and
will maintain it through a course of life attended with many
432 MEMOIES OF BRAINEKD.
trials, without affectation or self-exaltation, and with an earnest^
constant testimony against the wildness, the extravagances, the
bitter zeal, assuming behaviour, and separating spirit of en«
thusiasts ; and will do all this more effectually, than any thing
else has ever been done in any plain known instance that can
be produced : what cause then has the world to prize and to
pray for these benign vapours^ and this blessed fanaticism !
It would perhaps be a prejudice with some against the whole
of BaAiBfERD^s religion, if it had begun in the time of the late
religious commotion ; being ready to conclude, however un-
reasonable, that nothing good could take its rise from those
times. But it was not so ; his conversion was before that eventt
in a time of general deadness ; and therefore at a season when
it was impossible, that he should receive a taint from any cor*
rupt notions, examples, or customs, which originated at that
period.
There are many who are not professed opposers of expert"
mental religion^ who yet doubt its reality from the bad Iwes of
some professors ; and are ready to determine that there is no-
thing m regeneration^ self 'abasement^ and a cordial acceptance
of Christ ; because many who pretend to these things, and are
thousht by others to have been the subjects of them, manifest
no abiding alteration in their moral disposition and behaviour,
are as careless, carnal, and covetous, as ever ; yea, some much
worse than ever. It is to be acknowledged and lamented, that
this is the case with some ; but by the preceding account they
must be sensible, that it is not so with all. There are some in-
disputable instances of such a change, as the scripture speaks
of; an abiding great change, a " renovation of the spirit of the
mind," and a '' walking in newness of life." In the foregoing
instance particularly, they may see the abiding influence of
such a work of conversion, as they have he&rd of from the
word of God ; thi- fruits of such experiences through a course
of years ; under a great variety of circumstances, many changes
of state, place and company ; and may see the blessed issue
and event of it in life and death.
REFLECTION IV,
The preceding history serves to confirm those doctrines usu-
ally called the doctrines of grace. For if it be allowed that
there is truth, substance, or value in the main of Brainerd^s
religion, it will undoubtedly follow, that those doctrines are
divine ; since it is evident, that the whole of it from beginning
to end, is according to that scheme of things ; all built on
those apprehensions, notions and views, which are produced
and established in the mind by those doctrines. He was brought
by doctrines of this kind to his awakening, and deep concern
MEMOIRS OF BRAIKBRD. 433
about things of a spiritual and eternal nature ; by these doc-
trines his convictions were maintained* and carried on; and
his coii>veF8ion was evidently altogether agreeable to this scheme,
bat by no means agreeing with the contrary, and utterly incon-
sistent with the Arminian notion of conversion or repentance.
His conversion was plainly founded in a clear strong con-
viction, and undoubting persuasion of the truth of those things
appertaining to these doctrines, against which Arminians most
object, and about which his own mind had contended most.
His conversion was no confirming and perfecting of moral prin-
cnples and habits, by use and practice, and industrious disci-
pline, together with the concurring suggestions and conspiring
aids of God's Spirit ; but entirely a supernatural work, at once
turning him from darkness to marvellous light, and from the
power of sin to the dominion of divine and holy principles. It
was an effect, in no respect produced by his strength or labour,
or obtained by his virtue ; and not accomplished till he was
first brought to a full conviction, that all his own virtue, strength,
labours, and endeavours, could never avail any thing towards
producing or procuring this effect.
A very little while before, his mind was full of the same ca-
vils against the doctrines of God's sovereign grace, which are
made by Arminians ; and his heart full even of opposition to
them. God was pleased to perform this good work in him,
just after a full end had been put to this cavilling and oppo-
sition ; and after he was entirely convinced, that he was dead
in sin, and was in the hands of God, as the absolutely sovereign,
unobliged, sole disposer and author of true holiness. God's
showing him mercy at such a time, is a confirmation, that this
was a preparation for mercy ; and consequently, that these things
which he was convinced of, were true. While he opposed, he
was the subject of no such mercy ; though he so earnestly sought
it, and prayed for it with so much care, and strictness in religion ;
but when once his opposition is fully subdued, and he is brought
to submit to the truths, which he before had opposed, with full
conviction, then the mercy he sought for is granted, with abun-
dant light, great evidence, and exceeding joy ; and he reaps
the sweet fruit of it all his life after, and in the valley of the
shadow of death.
In his conversion, he was brought to see the glory of that
way of salvation by Christ, which is taught in what are called the
doctrines of grace ; and thenceforward, with unspeakable joy
and complacence, to embrace and acquiesce in that way of
salvation. He was, in his conversion, in all respects, brought
to those views, and that state of mind, which these doctrines
show to be necessary. If his conversion was any real conver-
sion, or any thing besides a mere whim ; and if the religion of
his life was any thing else but the freaks of a bewildered fancv t
Vol. X, 55
434 UUIUUIS Of BRAIKEKDi
then Uiia one grand principle, on which dependa the whole difler-
cnce between CalviniMs and Arminians, is undeniable, vix. that
the grace or virtue of truly good men, not only dilTers from the
virtue of others in degree, but even in nature and kirtd. If ever
Bkainehd was truly turned from sin to God at all, or ever be-
came truly religious; none can reasonably doubt but that his
conversion was at the time when he supposed it to be. The
chanse which he then met with, was evidently the greatest
moral change that he ever experienced ; and he was then ap-
parently first brought to thai kind of religion, that remarkable
new habit and temper of mind, which he held all his life after.
The narration shows it lo be different in nature and kind, from
all of which he was ever the subject before. It was evidently
wrought at once without fitting and preparing his mind, by gra-
dually convincing it more and more of the same truths, and
bringing it nearer and nearer to such a temper. It was soon
after his mind had been remarkably full of blasphemy, and a
vehement e-xercise of sensible enmity against God, and great
opposition to tho^e truths which he was now brought with Itis
whole soul to embrace, and rest in as divine and glorious;
truths, in the contemplation and improvement of wnich, be
placed his happiness. He himself, who was surely best able to
judge, declares, that the dispositions and affections, which were
then given him and thenceforward maintained in him, were
most sensibly and certainly, altogether different in their nature,
from all of which he was ever the subject before, or of which
he ever had any conception. In this he was peremptory, even
to his death. He must be looked upon as capable of judging ;
be had opportunity to know ; he had practised a ^eat deal of
religion before, was exceedingly strict and conscientious, and
hotTcontinued so for a long time ; and had various religious
affections, with which he often flattered himself, and Sometimes
pleased himself as being now in a good estate. After he had
those new experiences, which began in his conversion, tliey
were continued to the end of his life; long enough for him tho-
roughly to observe their nature, and compare tnem with what
had been before. Doubtless he was compos mentis ; and was
at least one of so good an understanding and judgment, as to
be pretty well capable of discerning and comparing the things
irtiicb passed in his own mind.
It is further observable, that his religion all along operated in
such a manner as tended to confirm his mind in the doctrines
of God's absolute sovereignty, man's universal and entire de-
pendence on God's power and grace," &c. The more his reli-
gion prevailed in his heart, and the fuller he was of divine love,
and of clear and delightfiil views of spiritual things, and the
more his heart was engaged in God's service ; the more sensible
he was of the certainty and the excellency and importance of
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 435
these truths, and the more he was affected with them, and re-
joiced in them. He declares particularly, that, when he lay for
a long while on the verge of the eternal world, often expecting
to be in that world in a few minutes, yet at the same time en-
joying great serenity of mind, and clearness of thought, and be-
ing most apparently in a peculiar manner at a distance from an
enthusiastical frame ; he " at that time saw clearly the truth of
thoSe great doctrines of the gospel, which are justly stiled the
doctrines ofgrace^ and never felt himself so capable of demon-
strating the truth of them."
Hence it is very evident, that Brainerd's religion was wholly
correspondent to what is called the Calvinistic scheme^ and was
the effect of those doctrines applied to his heart : and certainly
it cannot be denied, that the effect was good, unless we turn
Athiests, or Deists. — I would ask, whether there be any such
thing, in reality, as Christian devotion ? If there be, what is it ?
— What is its nature ? — and What its just measure ? Should it
not be in a great degree ? — We read abundantly in scripture of
" loxnng God with all the heart, with all the soul, with all the
mind, and with all the strength ; of delighting in God, of re-
joicing in the Lord, rejoicing with joy unspeakable and full of
glory ; the soul magnifying the Lord, thirsting for God, hunger-
ing and thirsting after righteousness ; the soul breaking for the
longing it hath to God's judgments, praying to God with groan-
ings that cannot be uttered, mourning for sin with a broken
heart and contrite spirit," &c. How full is the book of Psalms,
and other parts of scripture, of such things as these ! Now
wherein do these things, as expressed by and appearing in
Brainerd, either the things themselves, or their effects and
fruits, differ from the scripture representations ? To these things
he was brought by that strange and wonderful transformation
of the man, which he called his conversion^ Does not this well
agree with what is so often said in the Old Testament and the
New, concerning " giving a new heart, creating a right spirit,
being renewed in the spirit of the mind, being sanctified
throughout, becoming a new creature ?" etc. Now where is
there to be found an Arminian conversion or repentance, con-
sisting in so great and admirable a change ? Can the Armi-
nians produce an instance, within this age, and so plainly within
our reach and view, of such a reformation, such a transforma-
tion of a man to scriptural devotion, heavenly mindedness, and
true christian morality, in one who before lived without these
things, on the basis of their principles, and through the influ-
ence of their doctrines ?
Here we ought to consider the effect of these doctrines not
only on Brainerd himself, but also on others^ whom he taught.
It is abundantly pretended and asserted of late, that these doc-
trines tend to undermine the very foundations of all religion
436 MBMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
and morality, and to enervate and vacate all reasonable motives
to the exercise and practice of them ; and lay invincible stum-
bling-blocks before infidels, to hinder their embracing Chris-
tianity ; and that the contrary doctrines are the fruitfifl princi-
ples of virtue and goodness, set religion on its right basis, repre-
sent it in an amiable light, give its motives their fiill force, and
recommend it to the reason and common sense of mankind.—
But where can they find an instance of so great and signal an
effect of their doctrines, in bringing infidels, who were at such
a distance from all that is civil, sober, rational, and Christian,
and so full of inveterate prejudices against these things, to such
a degree of humanity, civility, exercise of reason, self-denial,
and Christian virtue 1 Arminians place religion in morcdity.
Let them then bring an instance of their doctrines producing
such a transformation of a people in point of morality. It is
strange, if the all-wise God so orders things in his providence,
that reasonable and proper means^ and his own means which
he himself has appointed, should in no known remarkable in-
stance be instrumental to produce so good an effect : an effect
so agreeable to his own word and mmd, and that very effect
for which he appointed these excellent means ; that they should
not be so successful, as those means which are not his own, but
very contrary to them, and of a contrary tendency ; means that
are in themselves very absurd, and tend .to root all religion and
virtue out of the world, to promote and establish infidelity, and
to lay an insuperable stumbling-block before Pagans, to hinder
their embracing the gospel : I say, if this be the true state of
the case, it is certainly wonderful, and an event worthy of some
attention.
I know, that many will be ready to say, " It is too soon yet to
glory in the work, which has been wrought among Brainerd's
Indians ; it is best to wait and see the final event ; it may be,
all will come to nothing by and by." To which I answer, not
to insist, that it will not follow, accordiRg to Arminian princi-
ples, that they are not now true Christians, really pious and
fodly, though they should fall away and come to nothing, that
never supposed, every one of those Indians, who in profession,
renounced their Heathenism and visibly embraced Christianity,
and have had some appearance of piety, will finally prove true
converts. If two-thirds, or indeed one-half of them, as great a
proportion as there is in the parable of the ten virgins^ should
persevere ; it will be sufficient to show the work wrought among
them to have been truly admirable and glorious. But so much
of permanence of their religion has already appeared, as shows
it to be something else besides an Indian humour or good mood,
or any transient effect in the conceits, notions and affections of
these i^orant people, excited at a particular crisis, by artfiil
management. It is now more than three years ago, that this
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 437
work began among them, and a remarkable change appeared
in many of them ; since which time the number of visible ccm-
verts has greatly increased : and by repeated accounts, from
several hands, they still generally persevere in diligent religion
and strict virtue. I think, a letter from a young gentleman, a
candidate for the ministry, one of those before mentioned, ap*
pointed by the honourable commissioners in Boston, as mis-
sionaries to the Heathen of the Six Nations, worthy of insertion
here. He, by their order, dwelt with Mr. John Brainerd among
these Christian Indians, in order to their being prepared for the
business of their minion. The letter was written from thence,
to bis parents here in Northampton, and is as follows : —
Bethel, New-Jersej/y Jan. 14, 1748.
Honoured and dear Parents^
" After a long and uncomfortable journey, by reason of bad
weather, I arrived at Mr. Brainerd's, the sixth instant ; where
I design to stay this winter : and as yet, upon many accounts,
am well satisfied with my coming hither. The state and cir-
cumstances of the Indians, spiritual and temporal, much ex-
ceed what I expected. I have endeavoured to acquaint myself
with the state of the Indians in general, with particular per-
ilous, and with the school, as much as the short time I have
been here would admit. Notwithstanding my expectations
were very much raised, from Mr. David Brainerd's Journal,
and from particular information from him ; yet I must confess,
that in many respects, they are not equal to that which now
appears to me to be true, concerning the glorious work of di-
vine grace among the Indians.
" The evening after I came to town, I had opportunity to
see the Indians together, while the Rev. Mr. Arthur preached
to them : at which time there appeared a very general and
uncommon seriousness and solemnity in the congregation.
This appeared to me to be the effect of an inward sense of the
importance of divine truths, and not because they were hearing
a stranger ; which was abundantly confirmed to me the next
Sabbath, when there was the same devout attendance on di-
vine service, and a surprising solemnity appearing in the per-
formance of each part of divine worship. Some, who are
hopefully true Christians, appear to have been at that time
much enlivened and comforted ; not from any observable
commotions then, but from conversation afterwards ; and others
seemed to be under pressing concern for their souls. I have
endeavoured to acquaint myself with particular persons ; many
of whom seem to be very humble and growing Christians ; al-
though some of them, as 1 am informed, were before their
conversion most monstrously wicked.
43^ M£H01RS Ol* BRilNERD.
" Religious conversation seems to be veiy pleasing and de-
lightful to many, and especially that which relates to the ex-
ercises of the heart. And many here do not seem to be real
Christians only, but growing Christians also ; as well in doctri-
nal, as experimental knowledge. Beside my conversation with
j>articular persons, I have had opportunity to attend upon one
of Mr. Brain£rd^s catechetical lectures ; where I was sur-
Erised at their readiness in answering questions to which they
ad not been used ; although Mr. Brain£rd complained much
of their uncommon deficiency. It is surprising to see this pec- ^
pie, who not long since were led captive by Satan at his will,
and living in the practice of all manner of abominations, with-
out the least sense even of moral honesty, yet now living sober-
ly and regularly, and not seeking every man his own, but every
man in some sense, his neighbour's good ; and to see those,
who, but a little while past, knew nothing of the true God, now
worshipping him in a solemn and devout manner ; not only in
public, but in their families, and in secret ; which is manifestly
the case, it being a difficult thing to walk out in the woods in
the morning, without disturbing persons at their secret devo-
tion. It seems wonderful, that this should be the case, not
only with adult persons, but with children also. It is observable
here, that many children, (if not the children in general) re-
tire into secret places to pray. And, as far as at present I can
judge, this is not the effect of custom and fashion, but of real
seriousness and thoughtfulness about their souls.
" I have frequently gone into the school, and have spent con-
siderable time there amongst the children ; and have been sur-
prised to see, not only their diligent attendance upon the busi-
ness of the school, but also the proficiency they have made in
it, in reading and writing, and in their catechisms of divers sorts.
It seems to be as pleasing and as natural to these children to
have books in their hands, as it does for many others to be at
play. I have gone into a house where there has been a number
of children accidentally gathered together ; and observed that
every one had his book in his hand, and was diligently studying
it. About thirty of these children, can answer all the questions
in the assembly's catechism ; and the greater part of them are
able to do it with the proofs, to the fourth commandment. I
wish there were many such schools ; 1 confess, that I never
was acquainted with such an one, in many respects. Oh that
what God has done here, may prove to be the beginning of a far
more glorious and extensive work of grace among the Heathen I
" I am your obedient and dutiful son,
" JOB STRONG.
" P. S. Since the date of this, I have had an opportunity to
attend upon another of Mr. Brainerd's catechetical lectures :
MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 430
and truly I was convinced, that Mr. Brainerd did not com-
plain before of his people's defects in answering to questions
proposed, without reason ; for although their answers at that
time exceeded my expectations very much : yet their perfor-
mances at this lecture very much exceeded them."
Since this, we have had accounts from time to time, and some
very late, which show that religion still continues in prospe-
rous and most desirable circumstances among these Indians.
REFLECTION V.
Is there not much in the preceding memoirs of Brainerd to
teach, and excite to duty, us who are called to the work of the
ministry and all who are candidates for that great work ? What
a deep sense did he seem to have of the greatness and impor-
tance of that work, and with what weight did it lie on his mind !
How sensible was he of his own insufficiency for this work ;
and how great was his dependence on God's sufficiency ! How
solicitous, that he might be fitted for it ! and to this end, how
much time did he spend in prayer and fasting, as well as read-
ing cmd meditation ; giving himself to these things ! How did
he dedicate his whole life, all his powers and talents to God ;
and forsake and renounce the world, with all its pleasing and
ensnaring enjoyments, that he might be wholly at liberty to
serve Christ in this work ; and to " please him who had chosen
him to be a soldier, under the captain of our salvation." With
what solicitude, solemnity, and diligence, did he devote him-
self to God our Saviour, and seek his presence and blessing in
secret, at the time of his ordination ! and how did his whole
heart appear to be constantly engaged, his whole time employ-
ed, and his whole strength spent in the business he then so-
lemnly undertook and to which he was publicly set apart ! —
His history shows us the right way to success in the work of the
ministry. He sought it, as a resolute soldier seeks victory, in
a siege or battle ; or as a man who runs a race, seeks a great
Erize. Animated with love to Christ and the souls of men,
ow did he " labour always fervently," not only in word and
doctrine, in public and private, biit in prayers day and night,
" wrestling with God" in secret, and " travailing in birth," with
unutterable groans and agonies, " until Christ were formed" in
the hearts of the people to whom he was sent ! How did he
thirst for a blessing on his ministry ; " watch for souls, as one
that must give account!" How did he "go forth in the
strength of the Lord God ;" seeking and depending on a spe-
cial influence of the Spirit to assist and succeed him ! What
was the happy fruit at last, though after long waiting, and
many dark and discouraging appearances ? Like a true son
440 MfiMOllLS OF BRAINEKD.
of Jacob, he persevered iu wrestling, throu^ all the itairkiwy
of the night, until the breaking of the day.
His example of labouring, praying, denjring himseli^ and en-
during hardness with unfainting resolution and patience, and
his faithful, vigilant, and prudent conduct in many other req>edi
[which it would be too long now particularly to recite,] may
afford instruction to missionaries in particular.
REFLECTION VI.
The foregoing account of Brainerd^s life may afford instruc-
tion to Christians in general; as it shows in many respects, the
right way of practising religion, in order to obtain the ends^
and receive the benefits of it ; or how Christians should ^^ run the
race set before them," if they would not " run in vain, or run
as uncertainly," but would honour God in the world; adorn
their profession, be serviceable to mankind, have the comforts
of religion while they live, be free from disquieting doubts and
dark apprehensions about the state of their souls, enjoy peace
in the approaches of death, and '^finish their course with joy."
In generd, he much recommended, for this purpose, the reaemp-
tionaftime, great diligence in the business of the Christian life,
watchfulness^ &c. and he very remarkably exemplified these
things.
Particularly, his example and success with regard to one duty
in an especial manner, may be of great use to both ministers
and private Christians ; I mean the duty of secret fasting. The
reader has seen, how much Brainerd recommends this duty,
and how frequently he exercised himself in it ; nor can it well
have escaped observation, how much he was owned and bless-
ed in it, and of what great benefit k evidently was to his soul.
Among all the many days he spent in secret fasting and prayer,
of which he gives an account in his diary ^ there is scarcely an
instance of one which was not either attended or soon followed
with apparent success, and a remarkable blessing, in special in-
fluences and consolations of God's Spirit ; and very often, be-
fore the day was ended. But it must be observed, that when he
set about this duty, he did it in good earnest ; " stirring up him-
self to take hold of God," and " continuing instant in prayer,"
with much of the spirit of Jacob, who said to the angel, " 1 will
not let thee go, except thou bless me."
REFLECTION Vll.
There is much in the preceding account to excite and en-
courage God's people to earnest prayer and endeavours for the
advancement and enlargement of the kingdom of Christ in the
/vorld. Brainerd set us an excellent example in this respect.
M£MOIRS OF BRAIK£R1^. 44i
He sought the prosp^ity of Zion with all his might ; an^ prefer-
red Jerusalem above bis chief joy. How did his soul long for.it,
and pant after it.! how earnestly and often did be wrestle
with God for it ! and how far did he, in these desires and prayers,
seem to be carried beyond all private and selfish views I hieing
animated by a pure love to Christ, an earnest desire of his glory,
and a disinterested affection to the souls of mankind.
The consideration of this, not only ought to be an incitement
to the people of God< but may also oe a just encouragement Xq
them, to be much in seeking and praying for a general outpouring
of the Spirit of God, and an extensive revival of religion. I con-
fess, that God^s giving so much of a spirit of prayer for this
mercy to so eminent a servant of his, and exciting him, in so
extraordinary a manner, and with such vehement tliirstings of
soul, to ag^onize in prayer for it, from time to time, through the
course oi bis life, is one thing among others, which gives me
gi:eat hope that God has a design of accomplishing something
very glorious for the interest of his church oefore long. One
such mstance as this, I conceive, gives more encouragement,
than the common, cold, formal prayers of thousands. As Brain-
«RD^s desires and prayers for the coming of Christ^s kingdom,
were special and extraordinary ; so, I think we may reasonably
hope, that the God who excited those desires and prayers, will
answer them with something special and extraordinary. And
in a particular manner do I think it worthy of notice for our en-
couragement, that he had his heart, [as he declared,] unusually
drawn out in longings and prayers for the flourishing of Christ's
kingdom on earth, when he was in the approaches oi death ; and
that with his dying breath, he breathed out his departing soul
into the bosom of his Redeemer, in prayers and pantings after
the glorious event ; expiring in very great hope, that it would
soon begin to be fulfilled. I wish that the thoughts which he in
bis dying state expressed of that explicit agreement, and visible
union of God's people, in extraordinary prayer for a general
revival of religion, lately proposed in a memorial to Scotland,
which has been dispersed among us, may be well considered
by those who hitherto have not seen fit to fall in with that pro^
posal. — But I forbear to say any more on this head, having al-
ready published my thoughts upon it, in a discourse written on
purpose to promote that affair ; with which, I confess, I wish
that every one of my readers might be supplied ; not that my
honour, but that this excellent design might be promoted.
As there is much in Brainerd's life to encourage Christians
to seek the advancement of Christ's kingdom, in general : sa
there is in particular, to pray for the conversion of the Indians
on this continent, and to ex^ themselves in the use of proper
means for its accomplishment. It appears, that he, in his un-
utterable longings and wrestlings of seal for the flourishing or
Vot, X. 58
442 M£HOIRS OF BRA1N£RD.
religion, had his mind peculiarly intent on the conversion and
salvation of these people, and his heart more especially engaged
in prayer for them. If we consider the degree and manner in
which he from time to time, sought and hoped for an extensive
work of grace among them, I think, we have reason to hope,
that the wonderful things, which God wrought among them by
him, are but a forerunner of something yet much more glorious
and extensive of that kind. This may justly be an encourage-
ment, to well disposed charitable persons, to " honour the Lord
with their substance,'' by contributing, as they are able, to pro-
mote the spreading of the gospel among them. This also may
incite and encourage gentlemen, who are incorporated and in-
trusted with the care and disposal of those liberal benefactions,
which have already been made by pious persons to that end ;
and likewise the missionaries themselves, that are or may be
employed ; and it may be of direction unto both, as to the pro-
Eer qualifications of missionaries, and the proper measures to
e taken in order to their success.
One thing I would particularly propose to the consideration
of such as have the care of providing and sending missionaries
among savages ; viz. Whether it would not ordinarily be best
to send two together ? It is pretty manifest, that Brainebd's
going, as he did, alone into the howling wilderness, was one great
occasion of a prevailing melancholy on his mind ; which was his
greatest disadvantage. He spoke much of it himself, when he
was here in his dying state ; and expressed himself, to this pur-
pose, that none could conceive of the disadvantage a missionary
in such circumstances was under, by being alone ; especially as
it exposed him to discouragement and melancholy. He spoke
of the wisdom of Christ in sendmg forth his disciples by two
and two ; and left it as his dying advice to his brother, never to
go to Susquehannah, to travel about in that remote wilderness,
to preach to the Indians there, as he had often done, without
the company of afelloio missionary.
REFLECTION VIII.
One thing more may not be unprofitably observed in the pre-
ceding account of Brainerd ; and that is the special and remark-
able disposal of divine providence, with regard to the circum-
stances of his last sichiess and death.
Though he had been long infirm, his constitution being much
broken by his fatigues and hardships ; and though he was often
brought very low by illness before he left Kaunaumeek\ and also
while he lived at the Forks of Delaware ; yet his life was pre-
served, till he had seen that which he had so long and greatly de-
sired and sought, a glorious work of grace among the Indians.
MEMOIRS or BRAIN£RD. 443
and had received the wished for blessincr of God on his labours.
Though as it were " in deaths oft," yet he lived to behold the
happy fruits of the long continued travail of his soul and labour
of his body, in the wonderful conversion of many of the hea-
then, and the happy effects of it in the great change of their
conversation, with many circumstances which afforded a fair
prospect of the continuance of God's blessing upon them ; as
may appear by what I shall presently further observe. — Thus
he did not "depart till his eyes had seen God's salvation."
Though it was the pleasure of God, that he should be taken
off from his labours among that people to whom God had made
him a spiritual father, who were so dear to him, and for whose
spiritual welfare he was so greatly concerned ; yet this was not
before they were well initiated and instructed in the Christian
religion, thoroughly weaned from their old heathenish and
brutish notions and practices, and all their prejudices and jea-
lousies, which tended to keep their minds unsettled, were nilly
removed. They were confirmed and fixed in the Christian faith
and manners ; were formed into a church ; had ecclesiastical
ordinances and discipline introduced and settled ; were brought
into a good way with respect to the education of children ; bad
a schoolmaster excellently qualified for the business; and had a
school set up and established, in good order, among them. They
had been well brought off from their former idle, strolling, sottish
way of living ; had removed from their former scattered uncer-
tain habitations, were collected in a town by themselves, on a
good piece of land of their own ; were introduced into the way of
living by husbandry ; and had begun to experience the benefits
of it. These things were but just brought to pass by his indefa-
tigable application and care ; and then he was taken off from
his work by illness. If this had been but a little sooner, they
would by no means have been so well prepared for such a dis-
pensation ; and it probably would have been unspeakably more
to the hurt of their spiritual interest, and of the cause of Chris-
tianity among them.
The time and circumstances of his illness were so ordered,
that he had just opportunity to finish his Journal, and prepare
it for press ; giving an account of the marvellous display of di-
vine power and grace among the Indians in New-Jersey^ and
at the Forks of Delaware, His doing this was of great conse-
quence and therefore urged upon him by the correspondents who
have honoured his Journal with a preface. The world being
particularly and justly informed of that affar by Brainerd before
his death, a foundation was hereby laid for a concern in others
for that cause, and proper care and measures to be taken for
maintaining it after his death. It has actually proved to be of
great influence and benefit in this respect ; for it has excited and
engaged many in those parts, and also more distant parts of
4W llk:liIOI(tS OF BBAIKKSIf.
America, to exert themselves for upholdiog and piomoting ibe
good and glorious work, remarkably opening their hearts and
bands to thai end: and not only in America, but in Great Bri-
tain, (hat Journal, which I have earnestly recommended to mj
readers, has been an occasion of some large benofactionB, madie
for promoting the interest of Christianity among the Indiaofi. —
IfBRAiNEKD nadbeen taken ill but a little sooner, he had notbeen
ableto complete his Journal, and prepare a copy for the press.
He was not taken ofTfromthe workof the ministry among luB
people, till his brother was in a capacity and circumstances to
succeed him in his care of them ; who succeeds him in the like
spirit, and under whce prudent and faithful care his congrega-
tion has flourished, and been very happy, since he IcH them; and
frobably could not have been so well provided for otherwise,
f Brainero had been disabled sooner, his brother would by no
means have been ready to stand up in his place ; having takes
his first degree at college but about that very time that he was
seized with his fatal consumption.
Though in that winter in which he lay sick at Mr. Dickinson's,
in Elizabeth-Town, he continued for a long time in an extremely
low state, so that his life was almost despaired of, and bis state
was sometimes such that it was hardly expected that he would
live a day ; yet his life was spared a while longer ; he lived to see
his brother arrived in New-Jersey, beine come to succeed him
in the care of his Indians ; and he himself had opportunity to as-
sist in his examination and introduction into his business: and
to commit the conduct of his dear people to one whom he well
knew, and could put confidence in, and use freedom with, in giv-
ing him particular instructions and charges, and under whose
care he could leave his congregation with greet cbeerfiilaeM;^
The providence of God was remarkable in so ordoiog it,tfattt
before his death he should take ajourney in New-Englaiid, vnd
[O to Boston ; which was, in many respects, of very gretat and
lappy consequence to the interest of reiigioo, and e^peeid^
among his own people. By this means, asDefwe observed, M
was brought in acquaintance with many persom of Bote aod in-
fluence, ministers and others, belonging both to the town and
various parts of the country ; and had opportunity, ondec
the best advantages, to bear a testimony for God and true reli-
gion, and against those false appearances of it which have pro-
ved most pernicious to the interest of Christ's kingdom in tbe
land. The providence of God is particularly observable in thii
circumstance of the testimony which he there bore for true reli-
gion, viz, that he there was brought so near the graoe^ and con-
tinued for so long a time on the verv brink -of eternity ; and fiom
lime to time, looked on himself, ana was looked on by othen, as
iust leaving the world ; and that in these circumstances be shtnld
De so particularly directed and assisted in his thou^la and
Eai
MB|C#IRS OF II11AIN£11I>. 445
view»of religion, to distinguish between the true and the false,
with Mch dearnesB and evidence; and that after this he should
be onezpectedly and sorprisinffly restored and strengthened, so
filr a* to be able to converse finely. Then he had an opportu-
nity, and specid occasions to declare the sentiments he bad in
thrae, which to human apprehension, were his dying circum-
stances ; and to bear his testimony concerning the nature of
tfue reli^on, and concerning the mischievous tendency of its
most prevalent counterfeits and false appearances ; as things
he htta a special, clear, distinct view of at that time, when he
expected in a few minutes to be in eternity ; and the certainty
and importance of which were then, in a peculiar manner, im-
pressed on his mind.
Among the happy consequences of his going to Boston, were
thOUe liberal benefactions that have been mentioned, which
were made by piously disposed persons, for maintaining and pro-
moting the interest of religion among his people; andsJso the
meeting of a number of gentlemen inSosfon, of note and ability
to consult upon measures for that purpose; who were excited by
their acquamtance and conversation with Brainerd, and by the
account of the great things which God had wrought by his
ministry, to unite themselves, that by their joint endeavours and
contributions they might promote the kingdom of Christ, and the
smritual good of their fellow-creatures, among the Indians in
New- Jersey ; and elsewhere.
It was also remarkable, that Brainerd should go to Boston
at thai <tme, after the honourable commissioners there, of the
corporation in London for propagating the gospel in New-
Englwd and parts adjacent, nad received Dr. Williams^ lega-
cy for maintaining two missionaries among the heathen ; and at
a time when they, naving concluded on a mission to the Indians
of the Six Nations, were looking out for fit persons to be em-
pk^ed in that important service. This was the occasion of their
committing to him the affair of finding and recommending sui-
table persons ; which has proved a successful means of two per-
sons being found and actually appointed to that business, who
seem to be well qualified for it, and to have their hearts greaUy
engaged in it. One of them has been solemnly ordained to
that work in Boston, and is now gone forth to one of those
tribes, who have appeared well disposed to receive him ; it be-
ing judsed not convenient for the other to so till the next
spring, by reason of his bodily infirmity.'^ These happy con-
sequences of Brainerd's journey to Boston would have been
* The appointment of these genflemen to this misBion has been hitherto much
smiled on by providence ; as in other respects, so particularly in wonderfully
opening the hearts of many to contribute liberally to so excellent a design. Be-
side the bene&ctions in Boston, a number of persons at Northampton, with
mudh cheerfOlness, have given about 160Z. (old tenor) ; and a particular person in
Springfield has devoted a considerable part of his estate to this interest.
ia. case he had died when lie was broiiglit »i» new
to deatb in New-Jersey. Or, it' after he cnmc to Nortliampton^
wh;ae-li*-m.s much at a lose, and long deliberating, whicfl
waj to bntd his course,} he had determined not to go tt
■Hm prondence of God waa obscnabio in his going to Bos- '
ton at^tiiiie when not only the honourable commissi oners v,en,
■^eldng muHonaries to the Six Nations, but also just after hit' '
joiimaliU'hich gives an account of his labours and succew,
ttBong tbe Indians had been received and sj>read in Bosloii.
Bifl DUbe was thus known, and the minds*of serious people
were well prepured to receive his person, and the testimony he-^
ihan gave fcr God ; to esert themselves for the upholding an^
P^pviotiw ^e interest of religion in his congregation, aai
•IVMlg <M Indians elsewhere ; and to regard his judgment
iQODflietllUU the qualifications nf missionanes. If he had gone^
^Mfp the bH before,^ when he had intended lo make his joumejf
iatp NeW'fi&cland, but was prevented by a sudden great Ist'
oreoMof his illness;) or if he had not been unexpectedly detained
in BoBton ; (for when he went from my house, he intended t*
nake \nt a very short stay there,) it would not probably have
bew in MiTjueasuro to so good effect ; but divine providence, bji^
Ub beingiOFOUght so low there, detained him long;theret^
to.mafcfl waji for the fulfilling his own gracious designs.
The proTidence of God was remarkable in so ordering, that
pdtlwngD he was brought so very near the grave in Boston, that
it.waanotin tho least ftxpccied he would ever come alive out of
hb chamber ; yet he was wonderfully revived, and praeened
several months longer ; so tliat he had opportunity to see, and
fiilly to converse with both his younger brothers before be died. '
This he greatly desired ; especially to see his brother JohD,Witk
whom was left the care of his congregation ; that be mif^t Iw
him be fully informed of their state, and leave with him ma
instructions and directions as were requisite in brdet to tbeir
spiritual welfare ; and send to them his dying charge, and coon-
sela. He had also opportunity, by means of this saspmuioD of
of his death, to find and recommend two petsons fit to -beem-
ployed as missionaries to the Sis Nations, as had been de*
sired of him.
Thus, although it was the pleasure of a sovereign God, that
he should be taken away from his eongregation, tbe petmie,
whom he had begotten through the gospel, who were bo tfew
to him ; yet it was granted him, that before he died be should
see them well provided for, every way. He saw them provided
for, with one to instruct them, and to take care of their souls;
his own brother, in whom he could confide. He saw a good
foundation laid for the support of the school among tbeo ;
those things, which before were wanting in order to it, being
M£M01RS OF BRAINERD. 447
supplied. He had the prospect of a charitable society being
established, of able and well-disposed persons, who seem to
make the spiritual interest of his congregation their own ; where-
by he had a comfortable view of their being well provided for,
for the future. He had also opportunity to leave all his dying
charees with his successor in the pastoral care of his people,
and by him to send his dying counsels to them. Thus God
granted him to see all things happily settled, or in a hopeful way
of being so, before his death, with respect to his dear people.
---And whereas not only his own congregation, but the souls
of the Indians in North-America in general, were very dear to
him, and he had greatly set his heart on propagating and ex-
tending the kingdom of Christ among them ; God was pleased
to grant him— ^though not to be the immediate instrument of
their instruction and conversion — ^yet, that before his death, he
shouldsee unexpected extraordinary provisions made for this also.
It is remarkable, that God not only allowed him to see such
provision made for maintaining the interest of religion among
his own people, and the propagation of -it elsewhere ; but ho-
noured him by making him the means or occasion of it. So that
it is very probable, although Brainerd during the last four
months of his life, was ordinarily in an extremely weak and
low state, very often scarcely able to speak ; yet that he was
made the instrument or means of much more good in that space
of time, than he would have been if well, and in full strength of
body. Thus God^s power was manifested in his weakness^
and the life of Christ was manifested in his mortal flesh.
Another thmg, wherein appears the merciful disposal of pro-
vidence with respect to his death, was, that he did not die in the
wilderness, among the savages, at Kaunaumeek^ or the Forks of
JDelaware^ or on the Susquehannah ; but in a place where his dy-
ing behaviour and speeches might be observed and remembered,
and some account given of them for the benefit of survivors ; and
where care might be taken of him in his sickness, and proper
honours done him at his death.
The providence of God is also worthy of remark, in so over-
ruling and ordering the matter, that he did not finally leave abso-
lute orders for the entire suppressing ofhis private papers ; as he
had intended and fully resolved, insomuch that all the irnportu-
nity of his friends could scarce restrain him from doing it, when
sick at Boston, One thins relating to this is peculiarly remarka-
ble, that his brother, a little before his death, should come un-
expectedly from New-Jersey ,and bring his Diary to him,though
he had received no such order. Thus he had opportunity of
access to these his reserved papers, and of reviewing the same ;
without which, it appears, he would at last have ordered them
to be wholly suppressed ; but after this, he the more readily
446 MEMOIRS OF BEAINERP.
yielded to the'desires of his friends, and was willing to leave
them in their hands to be disposed of as the^ thought might be
most for God^s glory. By this means, ^^ he, bemg dead, yet speak-
eth,^^ in these memoirs of his life, taken from those private
writings ; whereby it is to be hoped that he may still be as it
were uie instrument of promoting the interest of religion in this
world ; the advancement of which he so much desired, and
hoped would be accomplished after his death.
If these circumstances of Brainerd^s death be duly consider-
ed, I doubt not but they will be acknowledged as a notable in-
stance of God^s fatherlv care, and covenant-faithfulness towards
them who are devoted to him, and faithfully serve him while
they live ; whereby ^^ he never fails nor forsakes them, but is wUh
them living and dying ; so that whether they live, they live to the
Lord ; or whether they die, they die to the Lord ;^* and both in
life and death they are owned and taken care of as his — ^Brain-
ERb himself, as was before observed, was much in tddng notice
when near his end, of the merciful circumstances of his death;
and said, from time to time, that ^^ God had granted him all his
desire."
I would not conclude my observations on the mercifiil circum-
stances of Brainerd^s death, without acknowledging with
thankfulness, the gracious dispensation of providence to me
and my family, in so ordering, that he, though the ordinary place
of his abode was more than two hundred miles distant, should
be brought to my house, in his last sickness, and should die
here. Thus we had opportunity for much acquaintance and
conversation with him, to show him kindness in such circum-
stances, to see his dying behaviour, to hear his dying speeches, to
receive his dying counsels, and to have the benefit of his dying
prayers. May God in infinite mercy grant, that we may ever
retain a proper remembrance of these things, and make a due
improvement of the advantages we have had, in these respects !
The Lord grant also, that the foregoing account of Brainerd^s
life and death may be for the great spiritual benefit of all who
shall read it, and prove a happy means of promoting the revival
of true religion ! Amen.
NOTE.
The reader will not be uninterested in the following letters
from Mr. John Bi-ainerd, giving an account of the Indians, after
his brother's death.
MEMOiRS OF BRAINEllD. 441j
The first is an Extract from a Letter to his friend in EnglantI,
dated,
" Bethel^ Oct. itli, 1752.
" I have now been employed as a missionary among these In-
dians for above four years and a half, beside officiating for my
brother several months during his last sickness. In this space
of time the number has considerably increased ; though for more
than two years after I came, we were visited with much sickness
and great mortality. We have now near forty families belong-
ing to our society ; and our church consists of thirty-seven com-
municants, beside two or three more, who stand as candidates
for admission. Our school has sometimes consisted of above fifty
children ; but the number at present is not altogether so great. I
have spent the most of my time, since I have been employed as
a missionary, among this people ; but have not wholly confined
myself to them. I have taken several journies out among the
more remote Indians and some to those at a great distance. By
this means. With the blessing of God on mv labours, I have per-
suaded |2unibers to come from distant places and settle here,
where they and their children have the advantages of instruction,
which I trust have been blest to the saving conversion of some.
May the Lord daily increase their number!
** We have a very considerable number of serious regular Chris-
tians, who are an ornament to religion ; although some, who
make a profession, have grievously backslidden. The Lord
has preserved and continued a Christiai congregation together,
although many attempts, have been made by Satan and his in-
struments to disperse and destroy it."
After mentioning the obstacles which hinder the conversion
of the Indians to Christianity, such as — Their love to strong
drink — ^Their indolent, wandering, unsteady disposition — The
wickedness of some white people, who prejudice them against
th^ missionaries — The temptations which the whites throw in
their way ; some of them buying drink, and giving it gra-
tuitously, to see if they cannot make the Christian Indians drunk
— And the want of a more liberal support to the missionaries
for carrying them through difficult journies, and taking Chris-
tian Indians along with them — £[e proceeds :
^^ I hope and trust, as this work of grace among the Indians
comes to be more generally known and spread abroad, there
will be a greater plenty of provision for the prevention of the
same ; and may the Lord hasten the blissfiil time \ —
<^ Upon the whole, though I am feelingly sensible of maay
difficulties and discouragements in christianizing the Indians ;
Vol. X 57
*l*
450 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.
yet I^cannot but think that there has been and still is as much
encouragement as could rationally have been expected, before
any attempts of this kind were made, and that which is sufficient
for us still to act upon, and to make farther attempts of this na-
ture. There is ground to hope that within these seven years
last past there have been at least forty persons savingly con-
verted to God even in this small place; wnich at most does not
contain above two hundred souls, old and young of all sorts ;
and were there any sufficiently zealous to go to the more remote
places where there are greater numbers of these miserable sa-
vages ; who can tell what the Lord would do. What a glori-
ous prospect^might soon open !
" The quarterly days of prayer for the prosperity of Zion are
observed by some in these parts, and have been very constantly
attended in my congregation ; and some of my people have ap-
peared very affectionate and warmly engaged at such times.
May the Lord hear and answer the supplications of his peo-
ple, and cause his church to arise and nourish and become a
praise in the whole earth. I would desire a remembrance in
your addresses to the throne of grace for me, for my people,
and for the cause of God among the Indians. If you should
have leisure, and think it worth while to write, please to direct
for me at Bethel, in New-Jersey, to the care of Mr. William
Grant, merchant, in Second street, Philadelphia; or to the care
of Mr. Denys De Berdt, merchant, in Artillery court, Chiswal
street, London.
" I am, &c.
" JOHN BRAINERD."
The second was to the Praesesofthe Society in Scotland, dated
" Bethel, Oct. 22, 1753.
" Since my last to your Lordship, which bears date March 2,
1753, I have steadily attended to the business of the Mission ;
and have not been absent from my charge except on some ne-
cessary occasions, and then only for a short space. 1 have en-
deavoured to attend strictly to my commissions and instructions ;
preaching the'gospel ; administering the sacraments ; catechis-
ing both the grown people and the children ; visiting my people ;
praying and conversing with the sick ; attending funerals ; and
watching all opportunities to do them good. — I have constantly
attended public worship three times on the Lord's day ; steadi-
ly once, and sometimes more, in the rest of the week. Besides
1 have advised the people, especially of late, to meet, at least
one evening in a week at a private house, which they do in the
several parts of their town ; sometimes at one house and some-
times at another. This meeting I have generally attended ;
and carry it on by prayer, singmg of psalms or hymns and re-
MEMOIRS OF BRAIKERD. 451
ligious conversation. At these meetings I address myself to
particular persons ; inquire into the state of their souls ; warn,
exhort, encourage, &c. as I see occasion. When I am absent,
the meeting is carried on by religious conversation, together
with prayer and singing. My endeavours, through the blessing
of heaven,have been,I hope, attended with some degree of suc-
cess. I have had the satisfaction of admitting one adult per-
son to baptism, who I trust is a true convert to God, and sa-
vingly acquainted with Jesus Christ; and sundry children have
been the subjects of that divine ordinance. I can also inform
your Lordship and the Society that many of our former converts
adorn their profession by a sober virtuous life. But some, I
must needs say, have grievously backslidden ; which has been
matter of unspeakable grief to me, and done more to exhaust
my spirits and wear me out, than all the bodily fatigues I have
ever undergone in the prosecution of this mission."
Afterwards he writes of great difficulties, which the Indians
have laboured under of late with regard to their lands ; — and of
the lamented death of a promising young Indian, whom the So-
ciety was educating for the ministry ; of whom he says :
" He had been a member of Princeton College nearly two
years ; was much beloved by his classmates and the other scho-
lars, and made a decent, handsome appearance among them.
He died of a quick consumption. I had opportunity of conver-
sing with him in the latter part of his sickness ; and though he
was under some darkness, yet his discourse was good, and dis-
covered much of the Christian.
" I am, &c.
« JOHN BRAINERD."
Chrutians, when absent from the body, are present with the Lord.
^mmmm
PREACHED AT THE FUNERAL OF THE
rev: DAVID BRAIJVERD,
MISSIOJ^jlRY TO THE mDMJ^S,
FROM THE 80CIETT IN SCOTLAND FOR PROPAGATING CHRISTIAN KNOWLEDGE,
AND PASTOR OF A CHURCH OF CHRISTIAN INDIANS IN NEW-
JERSET ; WHO DIED AT NORTHAMPTON, OCT. 9,
1747, AND WAS INTERRED ON THE 12tH.
By Rev. JONATHAN EDWARDS.
A SERMON.
CHRISTIANS, WHEN ABSENT PROM THE BODY, ARE PRESENT
WITH THE LORD.
II COR. V. 8.
We are confident^ I say^ and willing rather to be absent from
the body^ and to be present with the Lord.
The Apostle is here giving a reason why he went on with
such immoveable boldness and steadfastness, through such la-
bours, sufferings, and dangers, in the service of the Lord ; for
which his enemies, the false teachers among the Corinthians,
sometimes^reproached him as being beside himself, and driven on
by akind of madness. In the latter part of the preceding chapter,
he informs the Christian Corinthians, that the reason why he did
thus, was, that he firmly believed the promises which Christ had
made to his faithful servants of a glorious and eternal reward ;
and knew that these present afflictions were light, and but for
a moment in comparison of that far more exceeding and eternal
weight of glory. — In this chapter he further insbts on the reason
of his constancy in suffering, and exposing himself to death in
the work of the ministry, even the more happy state which he ex-
pected after death.-^This is the subject of the text; in which
we may observe,
1. The gcQ^i Future Privilege^ for which the Apostle hoped;
that of being present with Christ. The words in the original
properly signirj^ dwelling with Christy as in the same country or
dtyy or making an home with Christ,
2. When the Apostle looked for this privilege; viz. when he
should be absent from the btJdy: not to wait for it till the resur-
rection, when soul and body should be united again. He signi-
fies the same thing in Phil, i.22,23, *^ But if I live in the flesh, this
is the fruit of my labour. Yet what I shall choose, I wot not.
For I am in a strait between two; having a desire to depart, and
to be with Christ''
3. The FaZue which he set on this privilege. For the sake of
it, he chose to be absent from the body. It was more pleasing to
him, to part with the present life and all its enjoyments, if he
might be possessed of this great benefit, than to continue here.
36 EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAIX£RD*S FXjAm:,,^^
4. The Present Benefit^ which he had by his fiiith and hope
of this future privilege, and of his great value for it ; viz. that
hence he received courage ^ assurance^ and con$tancy of mind;
agreeably to tlic proper import of the word which is rendered,
we are confident. He is now giving a reason of that fortitude
and immoveable stability of mind, with which he went through
those extreme labours, liardships, and dangers, which he men-
tions in this course ; so that, in the midst of all, he did not faint,
was not discouraged, but had constant light, and inward sup-
port, strength, and comfort in the midst of all ; agreeably to
the sixteenth verse of the foregoing chapter,^* For which cause,
we faint not ; but though our outward man perish, yet the in-
ward man is renewed day by day/^ The same is expressed
more particularly in the eighth, ninth, and tenth verses of that
chapter, " We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed ;
we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not for-
saken; cast down, but not destroyed ; always bearing about in
the body, the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus,
might ie made manifest in our mortal flesh. " And in the
next chap. ver. 4 — 10, " In all things, approving ourselves as
the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in ne-
cessities, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults,
in labours, in watchings, in fastings, by pureness, by know-
ledge, by longsufiering, by kindness, by the Holy Grhost, by
love unfeigned, by the word of truth, by the power of God, by
the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left,
by honour and dishonour, by evil report and good report :
as deceivers, and yet true ; as unknown, and yet well known :
as dying, and behold, wc live; as chastened, and not killed;
as sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing ; as poor, yet making many
rich ; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things. "
Among the many useful instructions, which might l>e derived
from the text, I shall at this time only insist on this : —
The souls of Christians, when they leave the hody^ go to he
with Christ.
They do this in the following respects : —
I. They go to dwell in the same blessed abode with th<^
glorified Human nature of Christ.
The Human nature of Christ is yet in being. He still con-
tinues, and will continue to all eternity, to be both God and
man — His whole human nature remains: not only his soul, but
also his body. His body rose from the dead ; and the same that
was raised from the dead is exalted and glorified at God's right
hand. — That which was dead is now alive, and lives for
evermore.
EDWARDS*' SERMON AT DRAlJJfERD^S FUiTERAI/. 457
There is therefore a certain place, a particular part of the ex-
ternal creation, to which Christ is gone, and where he remains*
—This place is the heaven of heavens : a place beyond all the
visible heavens. Eph. vi. 9. 10, " Now that he ascended, what
is it, but that he also desended first into the lower parts of the
e^th 7 He that descended, is the same also that ascended up
far above all heavens," This is the same which the Apostle
calls the third heaven, 2 Cor. xii. 2 ; reckoning the aerial heaven
as the first, the starry heaven as the second, and the highest
heaven as the third. This is the abode of the holy angels ; they
are called" the angels of heaven," Matth. xxiv. 36. " The angels
which are in heaven," Mark xiii, 32. " The angels of God in
heaven," Matth. xxii. 30. and Mark xii. 25. They are said
always to behold the face of the " Father which is in heaven,"
Matth. xviii. 10. They are elsewhere often represented as be-
foire the throne of God, or surrounding his throne in heaven,
and sent from thence, and descending from thence, on messages
to this world. Thjkner it is that the souls of departed saints are
conducted, when f hey die. — They are not reserved in an abode
distinct from the highest heaven ; a place of rest, which they are
kept in, till the day of judgment ; which some call the Hades of
the happy : but they go directly to heaven itself. This is the
saints^ Aome, being theifTather^s house. They are " pilgrims
and strangers" on the earth, and this is the " other and better
country^' to which they are travelling. Heb. xi. 13—16. This
is the city to which they belong. Phillip, iii. 20. " Our conver-
sation, or (as the word properly signifies) citizenship, is in hea-
ven." Therefore this undoubtedly is the place to which the
Apostle refers in the text, when he says, " We are willing to
forsake our former house, the body, and to dwell in the same
house, city or country, wherein Christ dwells ;" which is the pro-
per import of the words of the original. — What can this house,
or city, or country be, but that house, which is elsewhere spoken
of, as their proper home, their Father's house, the city and
country to which they properly belong, whither they are travel-
ling all the while they continue in this world, and the house,
city, and country where we know the human nature of Christ is ;
this is the saints' rest ; here their hearts are while they live ; and
here their treasure is : " The inheritance incorruptible, undefiled
and that fadeth not away, that is designed for them^ is reserved
in heaven;" 1 Pet. i. 4. Therefore they never can have their
proper and full rest till they come there. So that undoubtedly
their souls, when absent from the body, (when the scripture re-
present them as in a state of perfect rest) arrive there — ^Those
two saints, who left this world, to go to their rest in another world
without dying, viz. Enoch and Elijah, went to heaven. — Elijah
was seen ascending up to heaven, as Christ was ; and to the
same resting place, is there all reason to think, to which those
Vol. X, 5« •
4^ E0WAftOS^ SEaHQtf AT BaAlWftO'S ri^HK&AL,
gaints go, who leave the world, to go to their rest, by death.
Moses, when he died in the top of the mount, ascended to the
same glorious abode with Elias, who ascended without dying.
They are companions in another world ; tfs they appeared toge-
ther at Christ^s transfiguration. They were together at that
time, with Christ in the mount, when there was a representa-
tion of his glory in heaven. Doubtless, also, they were toge-
ther afterwards, with him, when he was actually glorified in
heaven. Thither undoubtedly it was, that the soul of Stephen
ascended, when he eipired. The circumstances of his oeath
demonstrate it, as we have an account of it. Acts viL 55. &c.
^^ He being fiill of the Holy Ghost, looked up sted&stly into hea-
ven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right
band of God, and said, behold, I see the heavens opened, and
the Son of man, (i. e. Jesus in his human nature), standing on
the right hand of God. Then they cried out with a loud voice,
and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord, and
cast him out of the city, and stoned him. — And they stoned
Stephen, calling upon God, and saying. Lord Jesus receive my
rt.^^ Before hui death he had an extraordinary view of the
y which his Saviour had received in heaven, not onl]^fi>r
mself, but for him, and all his faithful followers ; that he might
be encouraged, by the hopes of this glory, cheerfiilly to lay down
his life for bis sake. Accordingly, he dies in the hope of tlus^
saying, ** Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.*^ By which doubtless he
meant, ^' receive my spirit to be with thee, in that glory wherein
I have now seen thee, in heaven, at the right hand of God.^'
Thither it was, that the soul of the penitent thief on the cross
ascended. Christ said to him, " To-day shalt thou be with me
in paradise." Paradise is the same with the third heaven ; as
appears by 2 Cor. xii. 2 — 4. There, that which is called the
third heaven in the second verse, in the fourth verse is called
paradise. The departed souls of the Apostles and Prophets arc
m heaven ; as is manifest from Rev. xxiii. 20. " Rejoice over her
thou heaven, and ye holy apostles and prophets." The church
of God is distinguished in Scripture, from time to time, into these
two parts ; that part of it, which is in heaven, and that which is
in earth ; Eph. iii. 14, 15. " Jesus Christ, of whom the whole
family in heaven and earth is named." Col. i. 20. " And having
made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile
all things to himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in
earth, or things in heaven." Now what " things in heaven"
are they for whom peace has been made by the blood of Christ's
cross, and who have by him been reconciled to God ; but the
saints in heaven ? In like manner we read, Eph. i. 10. of
*' God's gathering together in one all things in Christ, both which
are in heaven, and which are on earth, even in him." The
^' spirits of just men made perfect" are in the same " city of the
EDWABDS' SEKMON AT* BRAINERD'S FUNEBAL. 439
living God," with the " innumerable company of angels," and
" Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant ;" as is manifest by
Heb. xii. 22 — 24. The church of God is often in Scripture
called by the name of Jerusalem : and the Apostle speaks of the
Jerusalem which is above^ or which is in heaven, as the mother
of us all ; but if no part of the church be in heaven, or none but
Enoch and Elias, it is not likely that the church would be call-
ed the Jerusalem which is in heaven.
II. They go to dwell in the immediate, full, and constant,
sight or view of Christ,
When we are absent from our dear friends, they are out of
sight; but when we are with them, we have the opportunity
and satisfaction of seeing them. While the saints are in the
body, and are absent from the Lord, he is in several respects
out of sight, 1 Pet. i. 8. " Whom having not seen, ye love :
in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing," &c.
They have indeed, in this world, a spiritual sight of Christ ;
but they see through a glass darkly, and with great inter-
ruption ; but in heaven, they see him face to face, 1 Cor. xiii.
12. " The pure in heart are blessed ; for they shall see God,^'*
Matth. V. 8. Their beatifical vision of God is in Christ; who
is that brightness or effulgence of God^s glory, by which his
glory shines forth in heaven, to the view of saints and angels
there, as well as here on earth. This is the Sun of Righteous-
ness, which is not only the light of this world, but is also the
sun which enlightens the heavenly Jerusalem ; by whose bright
beams the glory of God shines forth there, to the enlightening
and making happy of all the glorious inhabitants. "The Lamb
is the light thereof; and so the Glory of God doth lighten it,"
Rev, xxi. 23. No one sees God the Father immediately. He
is the King eternal, immortal, invisible. Christ is the Image of
that invisible God, by which he is seen by all elect creatures.
The only begotten Son who is in the bosom of the Father,
he hath declared him and manifested him. No one has ever
immediately seen the Father, but the Son; and no one else
sees the Father in any other way, than by the Son's revealing
him. In heaven the spirits of just men made perfect see him
as he is. They behold his glory. They see the glory of his di-
vine nature, consisting in all the glory of the Godhead, the
beauty of all his perfections ; his great majesty, and almighty
power, his infinite wisdom, holiness, and grace; and they see
the beauty of his glorified human nature, and the glory which
the Father hath given him, as God-man and Mediator. For
this end Christ desired that his saints might "be with him, that
they might behold his glory," John xvii. 24. When the souls
of the saints leave their bodies, to go to be with Chri«t, they
behold the glory of the work of Redemption, " which the an-^
460 £DWAM>S^ SKRJIOSf AT BR.ilSXBl>^8 FUSEEAL.
geb desire to look into/^ They ha^e the clearest view of the
unfathomable depth of the wisdom and knpwledge of God ; and
the brightest displays of the purity and holiness of God, which
appears in that work. They see m a far clearer manner than
^e saints do here,^ what is the breadth and length, and depdi
and hei^t of the grace and love of Christ,*^ appearing in his
redemption. As uey see the unspeakable riches and glory of
Crod^s grace, so they clearly understand Christ^s eternal and
immeasurable love to them in particular* In short, they see
every thing in Christ which tends to inflame and eretify love
in the most clear and glorious manner, without any darkness or
delusion, without anv impediment or interruption. Now thy
saints, while in the body, see somewhat of ChristV glorv and
love; as we, in the dawn of the morning, see somewhat ct the
reflected lig^t of the sun mingled with darkness : but when se-
parated from the body, they see their glorious and loving Re-
deemer, as we see the sun when risen, above the horixon, by
Jiis direct beams, in a clear hemisphere, and with perfect day.
III. They are brought into a perfect coitformiiyto^ and uni^
with, Chriit.
Their spiritual conformity is begun while they are in the body.
Here, ^ beholding as in a glass, the glory of the Lord, they are
changed into the same image ; but, when they come to see him
oi he iSf in heaven, then they become like him in another man-
ner. That perfect sight will annihilate all remains of deformity,
and sinful unlikeness; as all darkness is annihilated before the
full blaze of the sun^s meridian light. It is impossible that the
least degree of obscurity should remain before such light ; so it
is impossible the least degree of sin and spiritual deformity
should remain, in such a view of the spiritual beauty and glory
of Christ, as the saints enjoy in heaven. When they see the
Sun of Righteousness without a cloud, they themselves shine
forth as the sun, and shall be themselves as suns without a spot.
Then Christ presents his saints to himself, in glorious beau*
ty; " not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing;'' and
having holiness without a blemish. Then their union with
Christ, is perfected. This also is begun in this world. Therc-
lative union is both begun and perfected at once, when the soul
first closes with Christ by faith. — ^The real union ; consisting in
the union of heart[and affectionjand in the vital union ; is i)e-
ffun in this world and perfected m the next. The union of the
heart of a believer to Christ, is begun when his heart is drawn
to Christ, by the first discovery of his divine excellence at con-
version. Consequent on this is established a vital union with
Christ; whereby the believer becomes a living branch of the true
vine, living by a communication of the sap and vital juice of
the stocH and root: a member of Christ's mystical body livhig
by a communication of spiritual and vital influences from the
EPWARDS' sermon" AT BRAINERD^S FUNERAL. 461
licad, and by a participation of Christ's own life. But while the
saints are in the body, there is much remaming distance be-
tween Christ and them. The vital union is very imperfect ;
and so is the communication of spiritual life and vital influence.
There is much between Christ and believers to keep them asun-
der, much indwelling sin, much temptation, a heavy moulded,
frail body, and a world of carnal objects, to keep off* the soul
from Christ, and hinder a perfect coalescence. But when the
soul leaves the body, all these hindrances are removed, every se-
parating wall is broken down, every impediment is taken out of
the way, and all distance ceases; the heart is wholly and per-
fectly drawn, and firmly and for ever bound to Christ, by a per-
fect view of his glory. The vital union is then brought to per-
fection; the soul lives perfectly in and upon Christ; being per-
fectly filled with his spirit, and animated by his vital influence;
living as it were only by Christ's life, without any remainder of
spiritual death, or carnal Ufe.
IV. They enjoy a glorious^ and immediate^ intercourse and
conversation with Christ.
While we are present with our friends, we have opportunity for
a free and immediate conversation with them, which we cannot
have when absent. Therefore, by reason of the far more free,
perfect, and immediate intercourse with Christ, which the saints
enjoy when absent from the body, are properly represented as
present with him.
The most intimate intercourse becomes that relation in which
the saints stand to Jesus Christ; and especially becomes that
perfect and glorious union into which they shall be brought with
him in heaven. They are not merely his servants^ but his friends /
John XV. 15 ; his brethren and companio7is ; Psal. cxxii. 8 ; yea
they are the spouse of Christ. They are espoused or betrothed
to Christ while in the body : but when they go to heaven, their
marriage with him is come, and the King brings him into his
palace. Christ conversed in the most fi-iendly manner with his
disciples on earth, and admitted one of them to lean on his bo-
som : but they are admitted much more fully and freely to con-
verse with him in heaven. Though Christ be there in a state
of glorious exaltation, reigning in the majesty and glory of the
sovereign Lord and God of heaven and earth, of angels and
men ; yet this will not hinder the intimacy and freedom of their
intercourse, but will rather promote it. He is thus exalted, not
only for himself, but for them. He is Head over all things for
their sakes, that they may be exalted and glorified ; and, when
they go to heaven where he is, they are exalted and glorified
with him ; and shall not be kept at a greater distance. They
shall be unspeakably more fit for it ; and Christ will be in more
fit circumstances to bestow on them this blessedness. Theii
seeing the great glory of their fi-iend and Redeemer, will xiot
4Q2 EDWA&DS' S£&3fON AT BKAlN'&RD'b FON£RAL.
awe them to a distance, and make them afraid of a near a{)»
proach ; but on the contrary, will most powerfully draw them
near, and encourage and engage them to holy freedom. They
will know that he is their own Redeemer, and beloved friend ;
the very same who loved them with a dying love, and redeemed
them to God by his blood ; Matt, xi v. 27. "It is I ; be not afraid."
(Rev. i. 17, 18.) "Fear not : I am he that liveth, and was dead."
The nature of this glory of Christ which they shall see, will be
such as will draw and encourage them ; for they will not only
see infinite majesty and greatness, but infinite grace, condescen-
sion, gentleness and sweetness, equal to his majesty. He ap-
Eears in heaven not only as " the Lion of the tribe of Judan,
ut as the Lamb, and the Lamb in the midst of the throne ;"
(Rev. v. 5, 6 :) and this Lamb in the midst of the throne shall
be their shepherd, to " feed them, and lead them to living foun-
tains of water; (Rev. vii. 17 ;) so that the sight of Christ's ma-
jesty will be no terror to them ; but will only serve the more
to heighten their pleasure and surprise. When Mary was
about to embrace Christ, being full of joy at seeing him again
alive after his crucifixion, Christ Ibrbids her to do it for the pre-
sent ; because he was not yet ascended ; (John xx. 16, 17,J " Je-
sus saith unto her, ' Mary.' She turned herself, and saith unto
him, 'Rabboni,' which is to say, ' Master.' . Jesus saith unto
her, ' Touch me not ; for I am not yet ascended to my Father ;
But go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my
Father and your Father, and to my God and your God." As
if he had said, " This is not the time and place for that freedom
which your love to me desires. That is appointed in heaven
after my ascension. I am going thither : and you who are my
true disciples, shall, as my brethren and companions^ soon be
there with me in my glory. That is the place appointed for
the most perfect expressions of complacence and endearment.
Accordingly the souls of departed saints in heaven, find Christ
raanifestinff those infinite riches of love towards them, which he
has felt from eternity ; and they are enabled to express their
love to him, in an infinitely better manner, than they could
while in the body. Thus they shall be eternally encompassed
by the infinitely bright and mild and sweet beams of divine
love ; eternally receiving that light, and forever reflecting it to
the fountain.
V. They are received to a glorious fellowship with Christ in
his blessedness.
As the wife is received to a joint possession of her husband^s
estate; and as the wife of a prince partakes with him in his
princely possessions and honours ; so the church, the spouse of
Christ, is received to dwell with him in heaven, and shall par-
take with him in his glory. When Christ rose from the dead,
Et>WARDS* SERMON AT BRAINERD^S FtyNERAt, 463
and took possession of eternal life ; this was not as a private
person^ but as the Head of his redeemed people. He took pos-
session of it for /Aem, as well as for himself; and " they are
quickened together with Atwi, and raised up together.'''' So,
when he ascended, he took possession of heaven not onlv for
himself, but for his people, as ^Aeir Forerunner and Head, that
they might ascend also,. " and sit together in heavenly places
with him." (Eph. ii. 5, 6. ) " Christ writes upon them his new
name." (Rev. iii. 12. i. e.) He makes them partakers of his own
glory and exaltation in heaven. His new Name is that new
honour and glory with which the Father invested him, when hp
set him at his own right hand : just as a prince, when he ad-
vances any one to new dignity in his kingdom, gives him a
new title. Christ and his saints shall be glorified together,
Rom. viii. 17.
The saints in heaven have communion with Christ in his glory
and blessedness in heaven, in the following respects.
1. They partake with him in the ineffable delights which he
has in heaven^ in the enjoyment of his Father.
When Christ ascended to heaven, he was received to a pe-
culiar blessedness in the enjoyment of his Father, who in his
passion hid his face from him ; such an enjoyment as became
the relation in which he stood to the Father ; and such as was
a meet reward for the great and difficult service which he had
performed on earth. Then "God showed him the path of life,
and brought him into his presence, where is fullness of joy, and
and to sit on his right hand, where there are pleasures tor ever-
nK)re," as is said of Christ, Psal. xvi. 11. Then the Father;
" made him most blessed forever : he made him exceeding fflacl
with his countenance ;" as in Psal. xxi. 6. The safnts, by their
union with Christ, partake of his child-like relation to the Father;
and are heirs^ with him of his happiness in the enjoyment of his
Father; as seems to be intimated by the Apostle, in Gal. iv.
4 — ^7. The spouse of Christ, by her espousals to the only begot-
ten Son of God, is a partaker of his^/iaZ relation to God ; be-
comes the King's daughter ; Psal. xlv. 13 ; and so partakes
with her divine Husband in his " enjoyment of his Father and
her Father, of his God and her God." A promise of this seems
to be implied in those words of Christ to Mary, John xx. 17.
Thus Christ's faithful servants " enter into the joy of their Lord,"
Matth. xxy. 21, 23. ; and " Christ's joy remains in them ;" agree-
ably to those words of Christ, John xv. 1 1. Christ from eternity
is in the bosom of the Father, as the object of his infinite compla-
cence. In him is the Father's eternal happiness. Before the
world was he was with the Father in the enjoyment of his bound-
less love ; and had infinite delight and blessedness in that enjoy-
ment ; as he declares of himself in Pro v. viii. 30. " Then I was by
him as one brought up with him : and I was daily his delight, re-
joicing always before him." When Christ ascended to the Father
464 XBWAEDI^ iUllOV At UiAMMMMO^B nSSa^N
after hia pagsion, he went to the enJOTiiieDt ^rf'the nme ^tf
and blessednew in the enjoyment of his love ; agreeably to his
prayer the eveninff before tug crucifixion, John xvii. 5. ** And
now, O Father, glori^ me with thine own self^ with the |^eqr
which I had with thee before the world was.^' In the Mune praT-
er, he manifests it to be his will, that his true disciples slionkl
be with him in the enjoyment of that joy and glory, which he
then asked for himself; verse 13. ** That my joy ausht be ful-
filled in themselves ;^' verse 23. ^^ And the glory which thou
gavest me, I have given them/^ This ^lory and joy of Christ,
which the saints are to enjoy with him, is that whicn he has in
the enjoyment of the Father^s infinite love to him ; as apprars
by the last words of that prayer of dur Lord, verse 26, ^ That
the love wherewith thou hast loved me, may be in them, and I
in them.^* The love which the Father has to his Son is great
indeed ; the Deity does, as it were, whoUy and entirely flow out
in a stream of love to Christ; and the joy and pleatfuie of Chiist
is proportionally great This is the stream of Christ^s delist,
the river of his infinite pleasure ; which he will make his saints
to drink of with him ; agreeably to FsaL xxz, 8, 9. ^ They
shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house : thou
shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures; For with
thee is the fountain of life : in thy li^ht stuul we see li^^^* The
saints shall have pleasure in partaking with CSuist in his plea-
sure, and shall see li^t in his light They shall partake wiUi
Christ of the same river of pleasure, shall drink ot the water of
life, and of the same new wine in his Father's kingdom ; Matth.
xxi. 29. That new wine is especially that joy and happiness
which Christ and his true disciples shah partake of togetlier in
glory ; which is the purchase of Christ's blood, or the reward
of his obedience unto death. Christ at his ascension into heaven,
received everlasting pleasures at his Father's ri^ht hand, in the
enjoyment of his Father's love, as the reward of his own obedi-
ence unto death. But the same righteousness is reckoned
both to the head and the members ; and both shall have fellow-
ship in the same reward ; each according to their distinct
capacity.
That the saints in heaven thus partake with Christ in his own
enjoyment of the Father, manifests the transcendent excellence
of their happiness, and their being admitted to a vastly higher
privilege in glory than the angels.
2. They partake with Christy in the glory of that dominion^
to which the Father has exalted him.
The saints, when they ascend to heaven, and are made to
sit together with Christ in heavenly places, are exalted to reign
with him. They are through him made kings and priests, and
reign with him, and in him, over the same kingdom. As the
Father has appointed unto him a kingdom, so he has appointed
it to them. The Father has appointed the Son to rcign over
£t»WA&DS^ SERMON AT BRAmERD^S FUNERAL. 465
hie own kingdom, and the Son appoints his saints to reign in
hw. The Father has given to Christ to sit with him on his
throne, and Christ gives to the saints to sit with him on his
throne, agreeably to his promise ; Rev. iii. 21. Christ as God's
Son^ is the Hetr of his kingdom ; and the saints are ^om^Aeirs
with Christ; which implies, that they are heirs of the same in-
heritance, to possess the same kingdom, in and with him, ac-
cording to their capacity. Christ in his kingdom reigns over
heaven and earth ; ne is appointed the " Heir of all things ;'' and
so all things are the saints ; " whether Paul, or Apollos, or
Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or
things to come," all are theirs ; because they are Christ's, and
united to him;(l Cor. iii. 21 — ^33.) The angels are given to
Christ as a part of his doininion, to wait upon him as minister-
ing spirits: so they are all ministering spirits, to minister to them
who are the heirs of salvation. They are Christ's angels, and
they are also their angels. Such is the saint's union with Christ,
and their interest in him, that what he possesses, they possess,
in a much more perfect and blessed manner than if all things
were given to them separately, and by themselves, to be dis-
posed of according to their discretion. All things are now dis-
posed of so as in every respect to be most for their blessedness,
by an infinitely better discretion than their own ; and are dis-
posed of, also, by their head and husband, between whom and
them there is the most perfect union of hearts, and of wills, and
who are one, even as Christ and the Father are one.
As the glorified spouse of this great King reigns with him,
in his dominion over the universe ; so more especially does she
share with him in the joy and glory of his reign in his kingdom
of grace. This is peculiarly the kingdom which he possesses
as Head of the Church, and is that kingdom in which she is
more especially interested. It was especially to reign in this
kingdom, that God the Father exalted him to his throne in
heaven. He set his King on his holy hill of Zion, especially
that he might reign over Zion, or over his church, in his king-
dom of grace ; and that he might be under the best advantages
to carry on the designs of his love in this lower world. Hence,
the saints in heaven are partakers in Christ's joy when they
witness the prosperity of his kingdom of grace on earth, and
the success of his gospel here : which he looks on as the peculiar
glory of his reign. The good shepherd rejoices when he finds
but one sheep that was lost; and his friends and neighbours in
heaven rejoice with him on that occasion. That part of the
family which is in Tieaven are surely not unacquainted with the
affairs of that part of the same family which is on earth. They
who are with the King and are next to him, the royal family
who dwell in his palace, are not kept in ignorance of the affairs
of his kingdom. The saints in heaven are with the angels, the
Vol. X. 69
SERMU.V AT £KAINEBD S fCNEHAI.
King's ministers; l>y whom he manages the affairs of his king-
dom; and who are continually nsccnding and deecending from
heaven to earth, and daily employed as ministeriug spiriu to
each individual member of the church below : beside the con-
tinual ascending uf llie souls of departed saints from all parts
of the militant church. On those accounts the eaints in heaven
niust be under far greater advantages than we are here, for a full
view of the stale of the church on earth, and a gp«edy, direct,
and certain acquaintance with all its affairs in every country.
That which gives them a still greater advantage for such an
acquaintance, is their being constantly in the immediate pres-
ence of Christ, and in the enjoyment of the most perfect inter-
course with him, who, as the King of the Church, manages all
those affairs, and has a perfect knowledge of them. Christ is
the Head of the whole glorified assembly ; they ore mystically his
glorified boily : and what the head sees, it sees for the isforma-
Iron of the whole body, according to its capacity: and what
lliij Jicad enjoys, is for the joy of the whole body. The saints
in leaving this world, and ascending to heaven, do notgooutof
sight of things appertaining to Christ's kingdom on earth. On
the contrary, they eo out of a state of obscurity, and ascend
above the mists and clouds, into the clearest light; to a pinna-
cle, in the very centre of light, where every thing appears in
clear view. They have as much greater advantage to view the
state of Christ's kingdom, and the works ofihe new creation here,
than they had whdc in this world; as a man who ascends
to the top of a high mountain has greater advantage to view
the face of the earth, than he had while he was in a deep
valk'y, or tJiick fnrcjit below; suirounilod on every side with
those things which impeded and limited his sight. Nor do they
view them as indifferent or unconcerned spectators, any more
than Christ himself is an unconcerned spectator. The happi-
ness of the saints in heaven consists veiy much in beholding the
glory of God appearing in the work of Redemption : for it is by
this chiefly that God manifests his glory, the glory of his wis-
dom, holiness, grace, and other per^ctions, to both saints and
angels ; as is apparent by many scriptures. Hence, undoubtedly
much of their happiness consists in beholding the progress of
this work in its application and success, and the steps by which
Infinite power and wisdom brings it to its consummation.
They arc under unspeakably greater advantages to enjoy the
progress of this work, than we are ; as they are under greater
advantages to see and understand the marvellous steps which
Divine wisdom takes in alt that is done, and the glorious ends
he obtains ; tlio opposition Satan makes, and how he is baffled
and overthrown. They can better see the connection of one
event with another, and the beautiful order of all things which
come to pass in the church in dillerent ages that to us appear
EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAIXERD^S FUNERAL. 467
like confusion. Nor do they only view these things, and re-
joice in them as a glorious and beautiful sight ; but as persons
interested, as Christ is interested ; as possessing these things in
Christ, and reigning with him, in his kingdom. Christ's suc-
cess in his work of redemption, in bringing home souls to him-
self> applying his saving benefits by his Spirit, and the advance-
ment of the kingdom of grace in the world, is the reward espe-
cially promised to him by his Father in the covenant of redemp-
tion, for the hard and difficult service which he performed whilie
in the form of a servant ; as is manifest by Is. liii. 10—12. But
the saints shall partake with him in the joy of this reward; for
this obedience which is thus rewarded, is reckoned to them as
they are his members. This was specially the joy that was set
before Christ ; for the sake of which, he endured the cross, and
despised the shame ; and his joy is the joy of all heaven. They,
who are with him in heaven, are under much the greatest ad-
vantages to partake with him in this joy; for they have a per-
fect communion with him through whom they enjoy all their
heavenly happiness; as much as the whole body has all its plea-
sure of music by the ear, and all the benefit and refreshment of
air by the lungs. The saints while on earth pray and labour
ibr the same thing for which Christ laboured, viz, the advance^
ment of the kingdom of God among men, the promoting of
the prosperity of Zion, and the flourishing of religion in this
warld ; and most of them have suffered for that end as Christ
did, have been made partakers with their head in his sufferings,
and ^'filled up'' as the Apostle expresses it " that which is behind
of the sufferings of Christ." Hence they shall partake with
him of the glory and joy of the end obtained ; Rom. viii. 17.
*' We are joint-heirs with Christ ; if so be that we suffer with
him, that we may be also glorified together." 2 Tim. ii. 12,
« If we suflfer with him, we shall also reign with him." Christ,
ivhen his sufferings were past, and he lefl the earth and ascended
to heaven, was so far from having done with his kingdom in this
world, that it was as it were but then begun. He ascended for
that very end, that he might more fully possess and enjoy this
kingdom, and that he might reign in it ; as a king ascends a
throne to reign over his people, and receive the honour and
glory of his dominion. No more have the saints done with
Christ's kingdom on earth, when they leave the earth and as-
cend into heaven. " Christ ascended in the clouds of heaven,
and came to the Ancient of days, and was brought near before
him," to the very end^ " that he might receive dominion, and
glory, and a kingdom; that all people, nations and languages,
should serve him," Dan. vii. 13, 14. This will be eminently
fiilfiUed after the ruin of Antichrist, which is especially the
time of Christ's kingdom. The same is the time when " the
Kingdom and the dominion, and the greatness of the kingdom
4BB £DWAUs' snaifOH at BEAnmiitt^s nmuut.
onder the wh6le hectven, riiail be grf en to the people of the
saints of the Most High 6od^* Thk is becsEUse ihffy shaB teiga
in and with Christ, Sie Most Hitfh,** wbo^ ldi^|doiti is. an
eYerlastinff kin^om, and whom aS dominions ditul serve and
obey. ** This is true, not only of the saints on earth, but also
of the saints in heaYon. Hence the saints in hMven, haViiq;
respect to this time, do sinff, in Rev. v. Itt *^ We diiH reign
on the earth/* Agreeably hereto, it is afteiWibrds n^nreMdled,
that when that time comes, the souls of them who iti ft»iaer
ages had suffered with Christ, do reign with Christ; having, aft
it were, ^ven to them new life and joy, in that spiritual blOsMl
resurrection, which shall then be of the church or God on ewijk\
and thus ** The meek,** those who meekly and patiendy^ suflbt
with Christ, and for his sake, ** shidl inherit the earth i^ thofiabdl
inherit it, and reisn on earth with CSirist CbriM is the beir of
die world ; and when the appointed time of his kktgdom ccmibs,
his inheritance shall be ^eh him ; aikl tfiere i&Wtti^ who
ate joint-heirs, shall also inherit it The place ifi the (Hd Tw-
tament wbence these words are taken, leads to theh^ true inter-
pretation ; 1^1. nxvii. 11. " The meek shaU inhetit'the ewrth,
and shall delight themselves in the abtmdance of peace.*'
That these words refer to the peace and Uessednesrof the lat-
ter day, we learn by comparing them with Psalm IxziLT. *^ In
bis days shall be abundance of peace, so long ae^ the mooo esad^r
reth :** And Jer. zxxiii. 6. ^^ I will reveiu to tfaeifr the abmi*
dance of peace and truth:** Also Is. iL 4. Mie. iv. 3r Is. zi.
6—9 ; and many other parallel places. The saints in heaven
will as truly share with Christ in reij^ingover the nations, and
in the glory of his dominion at that time, as they will shate with
him in the honour of judging the world at the last dayw The
E remise of Christ to his disciples, Matth. xix. 28, 29. seOms to
ave a special respect to the former of these. In ver. 28. Christ
promises the disciples, that hereafter, ^^ when the Son of Man
shall sit on the throne of his glory, they shall mi on twdve
thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.** The saints in
heaven reigning on earth in the glorious latter day", ir described
in language accommodated to this promise of Christy Rev.
XX. 4. '^ And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them ; and* jwig*
ment was given them. — And they reigned with Christ** And
the promise in the next verse, in that xixth of Matthew, seems
to have its fulfilment at the same time : '^ And every one that
hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or wife
or children, or lands>, for my name*s sake, shall receive an hun-
dred fold, and shall inherit everlasting life;** i. e. At the time
when the saints shall inherit the earth and reign on earth, the
earth, with all its blessings shall be given in great abundance
to the church, to be possessed by the saints. This they shidl
receive in the present world, and in the world to come everiast-
EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAINERD^S FUNERAL. 439
ing life. The saints in heaven shall partake with Christ in the
triumph mnd glory of those victories which he shall obtain, at
that glorious period, over the kings and nations of the world ;
which are sometimes represented by his ruling them-with a rod
of iron, and dashing them in pieces as a potter'^s vesseh To
this doutless there is a reference in Rev. ii. 26, 27. " He that
overcometh, and keepeth my words unto the end, to him will I
give power over the nations ; and he shall rule them with a rod
of iron ; as the vessels of a potter shall they be broken to
shivers, even as I received of my Father." And in Psaf. cxlix.
5, to the end; ^^ Let the saints be joyful in glory : let them sing
aloud upon their beds ; (i. e. in their separate state after death ;
compare Is. Iviii. 1, 2.) Let the high praises of God be in their
mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hand ; to execute ven-
seance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people ; to
bind their kingis with chains, and their nobles with fetters of
iron, to execute upon them the judgment written : This ho-
nour have all the saints." Accordingly, when Christ appeal^
riding forth to his victory over Antichrist, Rev. xix^ the hosts of
heaven appear goin^ forth with him in robes of triumph, ver. 14.
When Antichrist is destroyed, the inhabitants of heaven,
and the holy apostles and prophets, are called upon to rejoice,
chap, xviii. 20. Accordingly, the whole multitude of the in-
habitants of heaven on that occasion, exult, and praise Grod
with exceeding joy ; (chap. xix. 1 — 8, and chap. xi. 15,) and are
also representea as greatly rejoicing on occasion of the ruin of
the heathen empire, in the days of Constantino, (chap. xii. 10.^)
It is observable all along in the visions of that book, that the
hosts of heaven appear as much concerned and interested in
the events appertaining to the kingdom of Christ here below,
as the saints on earth. The commencement of the Church's
latter-day glory is eminently ^^ the day of Christ^s espousals H^
^^ the day of the gladness of his heart, when as the bridegroom
rejoiceth over the bride, so he will rejoice over his church.'*
Then will all heaven exceedingly rejoice with him ; and there-
fore they say at that time, (Rev. xix. 7,) ^^ Let us be glad and
rejoice, and give glory to him ; for the Marriage of the Lamb
IS come/'
Thus Abraham enjoys these things, when they come to pass,
which were of old promised to him, which he saw beforehand,
and in which he rejoiced. He will enjoy the fuliSlment of the
promise that all the families of the earth should be blessed in
bis seed, when it shall be accomplished. All the ancient par
triarchs, who died believing in the promises of glorious things
to be accomplished in this world ; ^^ who had not received the
promises, but saw them afar off, and were persuaded of thoBSb,
and emlMraced them ; do actually enjoy them when fulfilled.
David actually saw and enjoyed the fulfilment of that promise.
470 Edwards' sermon at braineru s fuhgral.
in its due lime, which wns inmle to him many hunttred years
before, and was all his salvation and all his desire." Thus
Daniel shall stand in hi* lot, at the end of the days pointed out
by his own prophecy. Thus the saints of old, who died in faith
not having received the promise, arc made perfect, and have
their faith crowned by the better tilings accomplished in these
latter days of the gospel. (Hcb. xi. 39, 40,) which they see and
enjoy in their time.
3. They liave fellowship with Ckrint, in his blessed and eternal
Emiloyment of glorifytng the Father.
The happiness of heaven consists, not merelj' nor principally
in contemplation and passive enjoyment, but to a great de^e
in action ; and particularly in actively serving and glorifying
God. This is expressly mentioned as a great part of the blessed-
ness of the saints in their perfect state, Rev, xxii. 3, " And
there shall be no more curse; but the throne of God and of the
Lamb shall be in it ; and his servants shall serve him." The
angels are as a flame of fire in their ardour and activity in God's
service. The four living creatures, (Rev. iv.) who are gene-
rally supposed to signify the angels, are represented as continu-
ally giving praise and glory to God, and are said not to rest day
nor night. The souls of departed saints are doubtless become
as the angels of God in this respect Jesus Christ is the head
of the whole glorious assembly, as in other things pertaining to
their blessed state, so in this of their praising and glorifying the
Father. When Christ, the night before he was crucified, pray-
ed for his exaltation to glory, it was that he might glorify the
Father; John xvii. 1. "Th^si- words ^paim Jesus, and lift up
his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come ; glori-
fy thy Son; that thy Son also may glorify thee." This he doubt-
less does, now he is in heaven ; not only in fulfilling the Father's
will, in what he does as Head of the church and Ruler of the
universe; but also in leading the heavenly assembly in their
praises. When Christ instituted the Lord's Supper, and ale
and drank with his disciples at his table ; giving them therein a
representation and pledge of their future feasting with him, and
dnnking new wine in nis heavenly Father's kingdom ; he at
that time led them in their praises to God, in the hymn which
they sang. So, doubtless, he leads his glorified disciples in
heaven. David, as the sweet psalmist of Israel, led the great
congregation of God's people in their songs of praise. In this,
as in innumerable other things, he wasatype of Christ; who is
often spoken of in Scripture by the name of David. Many of
the psalms which David penned, were songs of praise, which he
by the spirit of prophecy, uttered in the name of Christ, as head
of the church, and leading the saints in their praises. Christ in
heaven leads the glorious assembly in their praises to Goil, as
Moses did the congregation of Israel at the Red Sea : which is
EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD's FUNERAL. 471
implied in its being said that, " they sing'' the song of Moses
and the Lamb." (Rev. xv. 2, 3.) In Rev. xix. 5. John tells us
that " he heard a voice come out of the throne, saying, Praise
our God, all ye his servants, and ye that fear him, both small
and great." Who can it be, that utters this voice out of the
throne^ but " the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne," call-
ing x>n the glorious assembly of saints to praise his Father and
their Father, his God and their God? What the consequence
of this voice is, we learn in the following words : " And I heard
as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the
voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings,
saying, Alleluia ; for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth."
APPLICATION.
The subject which we have been considering, may be useful*
ly applied in the wsiy of exhortation. Let us all be exhorted
hence earnestly to seek after that great privilege which has
been spoken of; that when " we are absent from the body, we
may be present with the Lord." We cannot continue always
in these earthly tabernacles. They are very frail, and will
soon decay and fall ; and are continually liable to be overthrown
by innumerable means. Our souls must soon leave them, and
go into the eternal world. O, how infinitely great will be the
privilege and happiness of those, who, at that time shall go to
be with Christ in his glory, in the manner that has been repre*
sented ! The privilege of the twelve disciples was great, in
being so constantly with Christ as his family, in his state of hu-
miliation. The privilege of those three disciples was great who
were with him in the mount of his Transfiguration ; where was
exhibited to them a faint semblance of his future glory in hea-
ven, such as they might safely behold in the present frail, feeble
and sinful state. They were greatly delighted with what they
saw ; and were desirous of making tabernacles to dwell there,
and return no more down the mount Great, also, was the
privilege of Moses when he was with Christ in Mount Sinai, and
besought him to show hinvhis glory, and he saw his back-parts
as he passed by, and heard him proclaim his name. But is
not that privilege infinitely greater which has now been spoken
of: the privilege of being with Christ in heaven, where he sits
on the throne, as the King of angels, and the God of the uni-
verse ; shining forth as the Sun of that world of glory ; — ^there
to dwell in the full, constant, and everlasting view of his beauty
and brightness ; — there most freely and intimately to converse
with him, and fully to enjoy his love, as his friends and brethren ;
there to share with him in the infinite pleasure and joy which
he has in the enjoyment of his Father ;— there to sit with him
on his throne, to reign with him in the possession of allthings,
472 EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.
to partake with him in the glory of his victory over his enemies,
and the advancement of his kmgdom in the world, and to join
with him in joyful songs of praise to his Father and our Father,
to his God and our God, for ever and ever ? Is not this a privi-
lege worth the seeking after ?
llere, as a powerful enforcement of this exhortation, I would
improve that afflictive dispensation of God*s holy Providence,
which is the occasion of our coming together at this time : the
death of that eminent servant of Jesus Christ, whose funeral
is this day to be attended ; together with what was observable
m him, living and dying.
In this dispensation of Providence, God puts us in mind of
our mortality, and forewarns us that the time is approaching
when we must be " absent from the body ;" and " must appear,"
as the Apostle observes in the next verse but one to the text,
^' before the judgment-seat of Christ, that every one of us may
receive the things done in the body, according to what we have
done, whether it be good or bad."
In him, whose death we are now called to consider and im-
prove, we have not only an instance of mortality ; but, as we
have all imaginable reason to conclude, an instance of one, who,
being absent from the body, is present with the Lord. Of this
we shall be convinced, whether we consider the nature of his
experience at the time whence he dates his conversion ; or the
nature and course of his inward exercises from that -tune for-
ward ; or his outward conversation and practice in life ; or his
frame and behaviour during the whole of that long space
wherein he looked death in the face.
His convictions of sin, preceding his first consolations in
Christ, as appears by a written account which he has left of his
inward exercises and experiences, were exceedingly deep and
thorough. His trouble and sorrow arising from a sense of guilt
and misery, were very great and long continued, but yet sound
and rational ; consisting in no unsteady, violent, and unaccount-
able frights, and perturbations of mind ; but arising from the
most serious considerations, and a clear illumination of the con-
science to discern and consider the true state of things. The
light let into his mind at conversion, and the influences and ex-
ercises to which his mind was subject at that time, appear verj'
agreeable to reason and the gospel of Jesus Christ. The change
was very great and remarkable ; yet without any appearance of
strong impressions on the imagination, of sudden flights of the
afiections,or of vehement emotions of the animal nature. It was
attended with just views of the supreme glory of the divine Be
ing; consisting in the infinite dignity and beauty of the perfec-
tions of his nature, and of the transcendent excellency of the
way of salvation by Christ. — This was about eight years ago.
when he was twenty-one years of age.
EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD's FUNERAL. 473
Thus God sanctified, and made meet for his use, that vessel,
which he intended to make eminently a vessel of honour in his
house^ and which he had made of large capacity, having endow-
ed him with very uncommon abilities and gifts of nature. He
was a singular instance of a ready invention, natural eloquence,
easy flowing expression, sprightly apprehension, quick discern-
ment, and very strong memory, and yet of a very penetrating
genius, close and clear thought, and piercing judgment. He
had an exact taste : his understanding was, if I may so express
it, of a quick, strong, and distinguishing scent.
His learning was very considerable. He had a great taste for
learning ; and applied himself to his studies in so close a manner
when he was at college, that he much injured his health ; and
was obliged on that account for a while to leave college, throw
by his studies, and return home. He was esteemed one who
excelled in learning in that society.
He had extraordinary knowledge of men, as well as of things ;
and an uncommon insight into human nature. He excelled
most whom I ever knew in the power of communicating his
thoughts ; and had a peculiar talent at accommodating himself
to the capacities, tempers, and circumstances, of those whom he
would instruct or counsel.
He had extraordinary gifts for the pulpit* I never had an op-
portunity to hear him preach ; but have often heard him pray.
I think that his manner of addressing himself to God, and express-
ing himself before him, in that duty, almost inimitable ; such as
I have very rarely known equalled. He expressed himself with
such exact propriety and pertinency ; in such significant, weigh-
ty, pungent expressions ; with such an appearance of sincerity,
reverence, and solemnity, and so great a distance from all affec-
tation, as forgetting the presence of men, and as being in the
immediate presence of a great and holy God ; as I have scarce-
ly ever known paralleled. His manner of preaching, by what
1 have often heard of it from good judges, was no less excel-
lent ; being clear and instructive, natural, nervous and moving,
and very searching and convincing. He nauseated an afiected
noisiness, and violent boisterousness in the pulpit ; and yet
much disrelished a flat, cold delivery, when the subject required
aflection and earnestness.
Not only had he excellent talents for the study and the pulpit,
but also for conversation. He was of a social disposition ; was
remarkably free, entertaining, and profitable in his ordinary dis-
course: and discovered uncommon ability in disputing; in de-
fending truth and confuting error.
He excelled in his knowledge of Theology, and was truly, for
one of his standing, an extraordinary divine ; but above all in
matters relating to experimental religion. In this, I know that
I have the concurring opinion of some, who are generally re-
VoL. X. .60
474 EtfWARDb" SEHMON AT BRAINEHD^S FVNERAL.
garded as persons of the best judgment. According to what
ability I have to judge of things of this nature, and according
to my opportunities, which of late have been very great, I
never knew his equal, of his age and standing, for clear, accu-
rate notions of the nature and essence of true reli^on, and its
distinctness from its various false appearances. This I suppose
to be owing to the strength of his understanding ; to the great
opportunities which he had of observing others, both whites
and Indians ; and to his own great experience.
His experiences of the holy mfluences of God's Spirit were
not only great at his first conversion ; but they were so in a con-
tinued course^ from that time forward. This appears from a
diary, which he kept of his daily inward exercises, from the
time of his conversion, until he was disabled by the failing of
his strength, a few days before his death* The change, which
he looked upon as his conversion, was not only a great change
of the present views, affections, and frame of his mind ; but
was evidently the beginning of that work of God in his heart,
which God carried on, in a very wonderful manner, from that
time to his dying day.* He aohorred the course pursued by
those, who live on their first evidences of piety, as though they
had now finished their work ; and thenceforward gradually set-
tle into a cold, lifeless, negligent, worldly fi'ame.
His experiences were very different from many things, which
have lately been regarded by multitudes, as the very neight of
Christian experience. When that false religion, which arises
chiefly from impressions on the imaginations, began first to gain
* This more abundantly appears from a farther acquaintance with his diarvi
since this sermon was delivered. Grace in him seems to have been almost
continually, with scarcely the intermission of a day, in very sensible, and
indeed vigorous and powerful exercise, in one respect or other. His heart
appears to have been exercised, in a continued course, in such thingfs as these
that follow : the most ardent and pure love to God ; great weanedness from
the world, and sense of its vanity ; great humiliation ; a most abasing sense of
his own vilcness ; a deep sense of indwelling sin, which indeed was most evi-
dently, by far the greatest burden of his life, and more than all other afflictions
that he met with put together ; great brokenness of heart before God, for his
small attainments in grace, that he loved God so little, &c. mourning that he
was so unprofitable ; earnest longings and thirstings of soul after holiness ;
earnest desires that God might be glorified, and that Christ's kingdom might
be advanced in the world ; wrestlings with God in prayer, for these things ; de-
light in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the way of salvation by him ; sweet
complacence in those whose conversation savoured of true holiness; compassion
to the souls of men, and earnest intercessions in secret for them ; great resigna-
tion to the will of God ; a very frequent, most sensible, renewed renunciation
of all things for Christ, and giving up himself wholly to God, in soul and body ;
great distrust of his own heart, and universal dependence on God ; longings
after full deliverance from the body of sin and death, after perfect conformity
to God, and perfectly glorifying him in heaven ; clear views of eternity, almost
as though he were actually out of the body, and had his eyes open in another
world ; constant watchfulness over his own heart, and continual earnestness iu
his inward warfare with sin ; together with great care to the utmost, to im-
prove time for God, in his service^ and to his glory.
KDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAIxVERD's I'UNERAL. 47-3
a very great prevalence in the land, he was for a little while
deceived with it, so as to think highly of it. Though he knew
that he never had such experiences as others told of, yet he
thought it was because their attainments were superior to his ;
and so coveted them, and sought after them, but could never
obtain them. He told me that he never had what is called an
impulse^ or a strong impression on his imagination^ in things of
religion, in his life ; yet owned, that during the short time in
which he thought well of these things, he was tinged with that
spirit of false zeal, which was wont to attend them ; but added,
that, even at this time, he was not in his element, but as a Ash
out of water. When, after a little while, he came clearly to see*
the vanity and perniciousness of such things, it cost him abun-
dance of sorrow and distress of mind, and to my knowledge he
afterwards freely and openly confessed the errors in conduct
into which he had run, and humbled himself before those
whom he had offended. Since his conviction of his error in
those respects, he has ever had a peculiar abhorrence of that
kind of bitter zeal, and those delusive experiences which have
been the principal source of it. He detested enthusiasm in all
its forms and operations ; and condemned whatever in opinion
or experience seemed to verge towards Antinomianism. He
regarded with abhorrence the experiences of those, whose first
faith consists in believing that Christ died for them in par
ticular; whose first love consists in loving God, because they
suppose themselves the objects of his love ; and whose assu-
rance of their good estate arises from some immediate testimo-
ny, or suggestion, either with or without texts of Scripture, that
their sins are forgiven, and that God loves them ; as well as the
joys of those who rejoice more in their own supposed distinc-
tion above others, in honour, privileges, and high experiences,
than in God's excellence and Christ's beauty; and the spiritual
pride of those laymen, who set themselves up as public tea-
chers, and decry human learning, and a learned ministry. He
frreatly nauseated every thing like noise and ostentation in re-
igion, and the disposition which many possess to publish and
proclaim their own experiences; though he did not condemn,
but approved of Christians speaking of their experiences, on
some occasions, and to some persons, with modesty, discretion
and reserve. He abominated the spirit and practice of the ge-
nerality of the Separatists in this land. I heard him say once
and again, that he had had much intercourse with this class
of people, and was acquainted with many of them in various
parts of the country ; and that by this acquaintance he knew,
that what was chiefly and most generally in repute among
them, as the power of godliness, was entirely a different thins
from that vital piety recommended in the Scriptures, and had
nothing in it of that nature. He never was more fiill in con-
47G EtiWARDS* iJERMOX AT BRAINERD^S FUNERAL.
(lemning these things than in his last illness, and after he ceased
to have any expectations of life : particularly, when he had the
greatest and nearest views of approaching eternity ; and several
times, when he thought himseli actually dying, and expected in
a few minutes to be in the eternal world, as he himself told
me.*
* Since this sermon was preached, I find what follows in his Diary for the
last summer.
*^ Thursday^ June 18. I was this day taken exceeding ill, and broug^bt to
the gates of death. — In this extremely weak state I continued for several
weeks ; and was frequently reduced so low as to be utterly speechless, and not
able so much as to whisper a word. Even after I had so far revived, as to
walk about house, and to step out of doors, I was exercised every day with a
faint turn, which continued usually four or five hours. At these times, though
I could say yts or no : yet I could not converse at all, nor speak one sentence
without making stops for breath. And clivers times, in this season, my friends
gathered round my bed, to see me breathe my last ; which they looked for
every moment, as I myself also did.
*^ How I was the first day or two of my illness, with regard to the exercise
of reason, I scarcely know : but I believe I was somewhat shattered, with the
violence of the fever, at times. But the third day of my illness, and con-
stantly afterwards, for four or five weeks together, 1 enjoyed as much serenity
of mind, and clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in my Ufe. 1 think
that my mind never penetrated with so much ease and fi:«edom into divine
things as at this time ; and that I never felt so capable of demonstrating the
truth of many important doctrines of the Gospel as now.
** As I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrines, which are justly styled
the doctrines of grace ; so I saw yifiih no less clearness, that the essence of true
religion consists in the soul's conformity to God and acting above aU selfish
views, for his glory, longing to be for him, to live to him, and please and ho-
nour him in all things ; and that, from a clear view of his infinite excellence and
worthiness in himself, to be loved, adored, worshipped, and served, by all
intelligent creatures. Thus I saw, that when a soul loves God with a supreme
love, he therein acts like the blessed God himself, who most justly loves him-
self in that manner ; so when God's interest and his are become one, and he
longs that God should be glorified, and rejoices to think that he is unchangea-
bly possessed of the highest glory and blessedness, herein also he acts in con-
formity to God. In like manner, when the soul is fully resigned to, and rests
satisfied and contented with the divine will, here he is also conformed to
God.
*^ I saw further, that as this divine temper, whereby the soul exalts God,
and treads itself in the dust, is w^rought in the soul by God's discovering his
own glorious perfections, in the face of Jesus Christ, to wit, by the special in-
fluences of his Holy Spirit ; so he could not but have regard to it as his own
work : As it is his image in the soul, he could not but take delight in it. Then
I saw again that if God should slight and reject his own moral image, he must
needs deny himself; which he cannot do. Thus I saw the stability and in-
fallibility of this religion ; and that those who were truly possessed of it, had
the most complete and satisfying evidence of their being interested in all the
benefits of Christ's redemption, having their hearts conformed to him ; *and
that these, and these only, were qualified for the employments and entertain-
ments of God's kingdom of glory : as none but these would have any relish
for the business of heaven, which is to ascribe glory to God, and not to them-
selves ; and that God, (though I would speak it with great reverence of his
name and perfections) could not, without denying himself, finally cast such
away. ' The next thing I had then to do, was to inquire, whether ihds was my
religion. Here God was pleased to help me to the most easy remembrance,
and critical review of what had passed in course, of a religious nature, through
several of the latter years of my life. Although I could discover much cor-
EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAINERD^S FUNERAL. 477
As his inward appearances appear to have been of the right
kind, and were very remarkable as to their degree, so were his
outward behaviour and practice agreeable. In his whole course,
he acted as one who had indeed sold all for Christ, had entirely
devoted himself to God, had made his glory his highest end,
and was fully determined to spend his whole time and strength
in his service. He was animated in religion, in the right way :
animated not merely, nor chiefly, with his tongue, in professing
and talking ; but animated in the work and business of reli-
gion. He was hot one of those who contrive to shun the cross,
and get to heaven in the indulgence of ease and sloth. His
life of labour and self-denial, the sacrifices which he made, and
the readiness and constancy with which he spent his strength
and substance to promote the glory of his Redeemer, are pro-
bably without a parallel in this age in these parts of the world.
Much of this may be perceived by any one who reads his prin-
ted Journal ; but much more has oeeh learned by long and in-
ruplion attending^ my best duties, many selfish views and carnal ends, much
spiritual pride, and self-exaltation, and innumerable other evils which compas*
sed me about ; I say, although I now discerned the sins of my holy thing^s, as
well as other actions ; yet God was pleased, as 1 waff reviewing, quickly to put
this question out of doubt, by showing me that .1 had, from time to time, acted
above the utmost influence of mere self-love : that J had longed to please and
glorify him, as my highest happiness, &c. This review, was through grace,
attended with a present feeling of the same divine temper of mind. I felt now
pleased to think of the glory of God ; and longed for heaven, as a state where-
in I might glorify God perfectly, rather than a place of happiness for myself. This
feeling of the love of God in my heart, which I trust tl^ Spirit of God excited
in me afresh, was sufficient to give me full satisfaction, and make me long as I
had many times before done, to be with Christ. 1 did not now want any of the
sudden suggestions, with which many are so pleased, * TJiat Chrut and his bene'
Jits are MINE,' * Thai God loves he," in order to give me satisfaction about my
state. No : my soul abhorred those delusions of Satan ; which are thought to
be the immediate witness of the Spirit^ while there is nothing but an empty sug'
gettion of a certain fact, without any gracious discovery of the divine glory, or
of the Spirit's work in their own hearts. I saw the awful delusion of this
kind of confidences ; as weU as of the whole of that religion from which they
usually spring, or of which at least they are the attendants ; the false religion of
the late day, though a day of wondrous grace ; the imaginations and impressions
made only on the animal affections ; together with the sudden suggestions made
to the mind by Satan, transformed into an angel of light, of certain facts not
revealed in Scripture ; These I say, and many Uke things, I fear have made up
the greater part of the religious appearances in many places.
" 'J^hese things I saw with great clearness, when I was thought lo be dying,
and God gave me great concern for his church and interest in the world at this
time : Not so much because the late remarkable influence upon the minds of the
people was abated, and almost wholly gone, as because the false religion, the
heats of imagination, and wild and selfish commotions of the animal affections,
which attended the work of grace, had prevailed so far. This was that which
my mind dwelt upon almost day and night : And this to ipe was the darkest ap-
pearance respecting religion in the land. For it was this chiefly that had preju-
diced the world against inward religion. This 1 saw was the great misery of all,
that so few saw any manner of diSerence between those exercises which are
spiritual and holy, and those which have self-love only for their beginning,
centre, and end."
478 EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAINERD^S FUNERAL.
timate acquaintance with him« and by looking into bis Diary
since bis deatb, whicb be purposely concealed in what he
published.
As bis desires and labours for the advancement of Christ's
kingdom were great, so was his success. God was pleased to
make him the instrument of bringing to pass the most remark-
able alteration among the poor savsiges, in enlightening, awa*
kening, reforming and changing their disposition and manners,
and wonderfully transforming them, of which perhaps any in-
stance can be produced in these latter ages of the world.
An account of this has been given the public in his Journal,
drawn up by order of the Honourable Society in Scotland,
which employed him. This 1 would recommend to the perusal
of all who take pleasure in the wonderful works of God's grace,
and who wish to read that which will peculiarly tend both to en-
tertain and profit a Christian mind.
Not less extraordinary were his constant calmness, peace, as-
surance and joy in God, during the long time he looked death
in the face, without the least hope of recovery ; continuing
without interruption to the last ; while his distemper very sen-
sibly preyed upon his vitals, from day to day, and often brought
him to that state in which he looked upon himself, and was
thought by others, to be dying. The thoughts of approaching
death never seemed in the least to damp him, but rather to en-
courage him, and exhilarate his mind. The nearer death ap-
proached, the more desirous he seemed to be to die. He said,
not long before his death, that " the consideration of the day of
death and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly
sweet to him." At another time he observed, that he could not
but think of the propriety there was in throwing such a rotten car-
cass as his into the grave : It seemed to him to be the right way
of disposing of it." He often used the epithet glorious^ when
speaking of the day of his death, calling it that glorious day.
On Sabbath morning, Sep. 27, feeling an unusually violent ap-
Eetite for food, and looking on it as a sign of approaching death,
e said ^^ he should look on it as a favour, if this might be his
dying day, and that he longed for the time." He had before
expressed himself desirous of seeing his brother again, whose
retiwn had been expected from New-Jersey ; but then, [speaking
of him] he said, " I am willing to go, and never see him again :
I care not what I part with, to be for ever with the Lord." Be-
ing asked that morning, how he did ? he answered, " I am al-
most in eternity ; God knows, I long to be there. My work is
done : I have done with all my friends : All the world is nothing
to me." On the evening of the next day, when he thought hini-
self dying, and was apprehended to be so by others, and he could
utter himself only by broken whispers, he often repeated the
word Eternity ; and said, " I shall soon be with the holv an2:els.
EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAINERD^S' FUNERALi 479
^^ Jesus will come, he will not tarry /^ He told me one night,
as he went to bed, that ^^ he expected to die that night ;^^ and
added ^^ I am not at all afraid, I am willing to go this night, if it
be the will of God. Death is what I long for.^^ He sometimes
expressed himself as ^^ having nothing to do but to die : and be-
ing willing to go that minute, if it was the will of God/^ He
sometimes used that expression, ^^ O why is his chariot so long
in coming !''
He seemed to have remarkable exercises of resignation to
the will of God. He once told me that ^^ he had longed for the
outpouring ^ the Holy Spirit of God, and the glorious times
of the church, and hoped they were coming r and should have
been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if
that had been the will of God." " But," said he, " 1 am willing
it should be as it is : I would not have the choice to make for
myself for ten thousand worlds."*
He several times spoke of the different kinds of willingness
to die : and mentioned it as an ignoble, mean kind of willing-
ness to die, to be willing only to get rid of pain ; or to go to
heaven only to get honour and advancement there. His own
longings for death seemed to be quite of a different kind, and
for nobler ends. When he was first taken with one of the last
and most fatal symptoms in a consumption, he said, ^' O now the
glorious time is coming ! I have longed to serve God perfectly ;
and God will gratify these desires." At one time and another,
in the latter part of his illness, he uttered these expressions.
'^ My heaven is, to please God, to glorify him, to give all to him,
and to be wholly devoted to his glory : That is the heaven I
long for ; that is my religion ; that is my happiness ; and always
was, ever since I supposed I had any true religion. All those
who are of that religion, shall meet me in heaven." — ^*' I do not
go to heaven to be advanced ; but to give honour to God. It
is no matter where I shall be stationed in heaven ; whether I ^
have a high or low seat there ; but I go to love, and please, and
glorify God* If I had a thousand souls, if they were worth any
thing, I would give them all to God : But I have nothing to give,
when all is done. It is impossible for any rational creature to
be happy without acting all for God ; God himself could not
make me happv in any other way." — ^^ I long to be in heaven,
praising and glorifying God with the holy angels ; all my desire
is to glorify God." — "My heart goes out to the burying place,
it seems to me a desirable place: But O to glorify God I
* He writes thus in his Diary : Aug, 23. 1747. '^ In the week pastr I had di-
vers^tums of inward refreshing. Though my body was inexpressibly weak,
followed continually with agues and fevers, sometimes my soul centred in God
us my only portion ; and 1 felt that I should be for ever unhappy if he did not
reign. 1 saw the sweetness and happiness of being hU tubject at his dispozaL
This made all my difficulties quickly vanish.''
480 £DWARDff' SERMON AT BRAINfiRD^S FUNERAL.
That is it ! That is above all !" — ** It is a great comfort to me
to think that I have done a little for God in the world : It id bat
a veiy small matter ; yet I have done a little ; and I lament it
that I have not done more for him." — " There is nothing in the
world worth Uving for, but doing good, and finishing God^s
work ; doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in
the world that can yield any satisfaction, beside living to God,
pleasing him, and doing his whole will. My greatest joy and
comfort has been to do something for promoting the interest of
religion, and the souls of particular persons.'^"*
After he came to be in so low a state that he ceased to have
the least expectation of recovery, his mind was peculiarly
carried forth with earnest concern for the prosperity of the
church of God on earth : this seemed very manifestly to arise
firom a pure disinterested Jove to Christ, and a desire of his
glory. The prosperity of Zion was a theme on which he dwelt
much, and of which he spake much ; and more and more, the
nearer death approached. He told me when near his end,
that '' he never, m all his life, had his mind so led forth in de-
sires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ^s king-
dom on the earth, as since he was brought so exceedingly low
at Boston." He seemed much to wonder, that there appeared
no more of a disposition in ministers and people, to pray for
the flourishing of religion through the world. Particularly, he
* In his Diary he writes thus ; ** Sept. 7, 1747 WheD I was in great distress of
body, my soul desired that God should be glorified. I saw there was no heaven
bat this. I could not but speak to the by-standers then of the only happiness, viz.
pleasing God. O that I could for ever live to God ! The day I trust is at hand,
the perfect day ! O, the day of deliverance from all sin !
** Sept. 19. Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned
thjn : How infinitely sweet it is to love God, and be nil for him ! Upon which it
was suggested to me, * Tou are not an angel, nor lively and active.' To which
my whole soul immediately replied, * I as sincerely desire to love and glorify God,
as any angel in heaven.^ Upon which it was suggested again, ^ but you are filthy,
not fit for heaven.' Hereupon instaiitly appeared the blessed robes of Christ's
righteousness, in which T could not but exult and triumph. I viewed the infinite
excellency of God ; and my soul even broke with longings, that God should be
glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven : but instantly the thought returned, I
do not go to heaven to get honour, but to give all possible glory and praise. O,
how I longed that God should be glorified on earth also ! O, I was made for
eternity, if God might be glorified ! For bodily pains I cared not ; though I was
then in extremity, I never felt easier ; I felt willing to glorify God in that state
of bodily distress, as long as he pleased I should continue so. The grave ap-
peared really sweet, and ( longed to lodge my weary bones in it : But, O, that
God might be glorified ! This was the burden of all my cry. O, I knew I
should be active as an angel in heaven, and that I should be stripped of my filthy
garments ! So that there was no objection. But O, to love and praise God more,
to please him for ever ! This my soul panted after, and even now pants for,
while I write. O, that God may be glorified in the whole earth ! Lord, let thy
kingdom come. I longed for a spirit of preaching to descend and rest on mi-
nisters, that they might address the consciences of men with closeness and power.
I saw God had the residue of the Spirit ; and my soul longed it should be poured
out from on high. I could not but plead with God for my dear congregation,
that he would preserve it, and not suffer his great name to lose its glory in that
work ; my soul still longing that God might be glorified."
EDWARDS \ SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 481
several times expressed his wonder that there appeared no
more forwardness to comply with the proposal' lately made
from Scotland, for uhited extraordinary prayer among God's
Eeople, and for the coming of Christ^s kingdom ; and sent it as
is dying advice to his own congregation, that they should
practice agreeably to that proposal. "
But a little before his death, he said to me, as I came into
the room, " My thoughts have been employed on flie old dear
theme, the prosperity of God's church on earth. As I waked
out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's Spirit,
and the advancement of Christ's kingdom, for which the dear
Redeemer did and suffered so much. It is that, especially,
which makes me long for it."
But a few days before his death, he desired us to sing a
psalm, which related to the prosperity of Zion , which he sig-
nified engaged his thoughts and desires above all things. At
his desire we sung part of the 102d psalm. When we had
done, though he was then so low that he could scarcely speak ;
he so exerted himself, that he made a prayer, very audibly, in
which, beside praying for those present, and for his own con-
gregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flourishing
of religion in the world.
His own congregation especially, lay much on his heart.
He often spoke of them ; and commonly when he did so, it was
with peculiar tenderness ; so that his speech was interrupted
and drowned with weeping.
Thus I have endeavoured to represent something of the
character and behaviour of that excellent servant of Christ,
whose funeral is now to be attended. — Though I have done it
very imperfectly ; yet I have endeavoured to do it faithfully,
and as in the presence and fear of God, without flattery ; which
surely is to be abhorred in ministers of the Gospel, when speak-
ing " as messengers of the Lord of hosts." '
Such reason have we to be satisfied that the person of whom
I have* been speaking, now he is " absent from the body," is
" present with the Lord ;" not only so, but also with him, now
wears a crown of glory, of distinguished brightness.
How much is there in the consideration of such an example,
and so blessed an ehd, to excite us, who are yet alive, with the
greatest diligence and earnestness, to improve the time of life,
that we also may go to be with Christ, when we forsake the
body ? The time is coming, and will soon come, we know
not how- soon, when we must eternally take leave of all things
here below, to enter on a fixed unalterable state in the eternal
world. O, how well it is worth the while to labour arid sufier,
and deny ourselves, to . lay up in store a good foundation of
support and supply, against that time ! How much is such a
peace as we have heard of, worth at such a time ? How dis^
Vol. X. 61
482 EDWARDS^ SERMON AT BRAINERD^S FUNERAL.
mal would it be, to be in such circumstances, under the out-
ward distresses of a consuming, dissolving frame, and looking
death in the face from day to day, with hearts uncleansed, and
sin unpardoned, under a dreadful load of guilt and divine
wrath, having much sorrpw and wrath in our sickness, and
nothing to comfort and support our minds, nothing before us
but a speedy appearance before the judgment seat of an
almighty, infinitely holy, and angry God, and an endless eter-
nity in suffering his wrath without pity or mercy ! The person
of whom we have been speaking, had a great sense of this.
He said, not long before his death, " It is sweet to me to think
of eternity: The endlessness of it makes it sweet. But, Oh,
what shall I say to the eternity of the wicked ! — I cannot men-
tion it, nor think of it! — The thought is too dreadful!" At
another time, speaking of an heart devoted to God and his
glory, he said, " O, of what importance is it, to have such a
frame of mind, such an heart as this, when we come to die !
It is this now that gives me peace."
How much is there, in particular, in the things which have
been observed of this emment minister of Christ, to excite us,
who are called to the same great work of the Gospel-Ministry,
to earnest care and endeavours, that we may be in like manner
faithful in our work ; that we may be filled with the same
spirit, animated with the same pure and fervent flame of love
to God, and the same earnest concern to advance the king-
dom and glory of our Lord and Master, and the prosperity of
Zion ? How lovely did those principles render him in his life ;
and how blessed in his end ! — The time will soon come, when
we also must leave onr earthly tabernacles, and go tp our
Lord, who sent us to labour in his harvest, to render an account
of ourselves to him. O how docs it concern us so to run as
not uncertainly ; so to fight, not as those that beat the air !
Should not what we have heard excite us to a careful depend-
ence on God for his help and assistance in oiir great work, and
to be much in seeking the influences of his Spirit, and success
in our labours, by fasting and prayer ; in which the person of
whom I have been speaking abounded ? This practice he
earnestly recommended on his death-bed, from his own expe-
rience of its great benefits to some candidates for the ministry
who stood by his bedside. He was often speaking of the great
need which ministers have of much of the Spirit of Christ in
their work, and how little good they arc like to do without it :
and how " when ministers w^re under the special influences of
the Spirit of God, it assisted them to come at the consciences
of men, and, as he expressed it, to handle them with hands :
whereas, without the Spirit of God, said he, whatever reason
and oratory we employ, wo do but make use of ftftimps. instead
of hands/"
EDWARDS^ SERMON 19 BRlIVERD^S FtTKERAL. 4dB
Oh that the things which were seen and heard in this extra-
ordinary person; nis holiness, heavenlincss, labour and self-
denial in life ; his so remarkably devoting himself and his al]«
in heart and practice, to the glory of God ; and the wonderful
frame of mind manifested^ in so steadfast a manner, under the
expectation of death, and under the pains and agonies which
brought it on; may excite in us all, both ministers and people,
. a due sense of the greatness of the work which we have to do
in the world, of the excellency and amiableness of thorough
religion in experience and practice, of the blessedness of the
end of those whose death finishes such a life, and of the infinite
value of their eternal reward, when " absent from the body and
present with the Lord ;" and effectually stir us up to constant
and effectual endeavours that, in the way of such an holy life,
we may at last come to so blessed an end ! Amen,
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