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THE
DYING THOUGHTS
THE REV. RICHARD BAXTER.
If
ABRIDGED BY
BENJAMIN FAWCETT, M*. A.
PUBLISHED BY THE
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY
150 NASSAU -STREET, NEW YORK.
-/«3 7
1
^30
Gin
and Mrs. Isaac R.HH*
July 3, 1933
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
i^HAT THERE IS DESIRABLE IN THE PRESENT
LIFE, 7
Che vanity of man as mortal. The author's design to speak only to
himself; with a genera/1 plan of the work. The apostle's happi-
ness whether in living or dying. The present life is desirable, 1.
to please Grod ; 2. to secure our own salvation ; 3. to do good to
others. Minding the life to come is not the whole of religion.
The Old Testament saints duly regarded the present life. The
author is thankful for present mercies to himself, his friends, and
country ; especially for his usefulness in the church. He desires
to improve the remainder of life, and rejoices in his happy situ-
ation.
CHAPTER II.
:HE NECESSITY AND REASONABLENESS OF BE-
LIEVING THAT PIOUS SEPARATE SPIRITS ARE
WITH CHRIST, 26
. Such faith is necessary, 1. to ascertain the design of life ; 2. to
excite to holiness ; 3. to make us know, value, and improve our
mercies ; 4. and to comfort us under sufferings. II. Such faith is
reasonable, because, 1. the soul is immortal ; 2. this immortality
is the dictate of nature ; 3. every man ought to seek happiness ;
4. men and brutes differ in the knowledge of Grod -and futurity;
5. G-od is a just governor; 6. and there is a gospel revelation:
also because, 7. of God's regard to prayer ; 8. the ministration of
angels ; 9. Satan r s temptations ; 10. and especially the sanctify-
ing influences of the Holy Spirit. The author inculcates these
considerations upon himself, in order to strengthen his own faith.
CHAPTER III.
VHATITIS TO DEPART, AND TO BE WITH
CHRIST, 50
. To be with Christ includes, 1. his presence; 2. union to him;
3- communion with him, and with hi? glorified saints. II. In
4 CONTENTS.
order to be with Christ, we must depart, 1. from the tody; 2. from
former bodily enjoyments; and, 3. from the more rational pleas-
ures of learning, friendship, means of grace, and acquaintance
with worldly affairs. The author has no fear that the church
will want him. Desires chiefly to submit to a separation from
the body, and laments his soul's attachment to flesh and sense.
CHAPTER IV.
WHY IT IS FAH BETTER TO BE WITH CHRIST, . 85
It is far better, considering, 1. our preparation for it, by the Father's
love, the Son's purchase, and the Spirit's influences ; by (rod's
word, ordinances, and providences ; and by various other means.
2. It is the end of all our preparations. 3. It perfects our know-
ledge of God and his works ; of Christ, and redemption by him ;
of heaven and Scripture ; of Providence, of ourselves, of our fel-
low-creatures ; and of our enemies, sins, and dangers. 4. It per-
fects our will, conforming it to the will of Grod, and fixing it in
his love. The author triumphs in the prospect of such happiness ;
traces it from Grod's love as the fountain, through the love of
Christ as the channel, and through angels and saints as subor-
dinate channels. 5. It perfects also our activity in doing good,
particularly in praising Grod and Christ, and in beneficence to
inferior creatures.
CHAPTER V.
THE AUTHOR BREATHES AFTER WILLINGNESS
TO DEPART, AND TO BE WITH CHRIST, . . . 129
Lamenting the inefficacy of his convictions, he begs divine teaching;
argues against his doubts and fears; desires a heavenly temper;
then excites his faith, viewing its support from reason, from ex-
perience, and pleading the promises. 2. He next excites his
hope; views its preparations, and pleads it in prayer. 3. He
also excites his love ; considers its excellences ; prays for its in-
crease; contemplates the perfection of heavenly love; is jealous
of his own lo\ r e ; enumerates the evidences of Grod's love, and
prays for its full discovery.
PREFACE
THE COMPILER OF THIS ABRIDGMENT.
In the following pages the reader will find
none of the triumphs peculiar to martyrdom,
nor any of those ecstasies which have distin-
guished some particular Christians on* their
dying beds. Some extraordinary cases rather
excite our joyful surprise, than are patterns
for our imitation.
The " Dying Thoughts" of Mr. Baxter
chiefly present to our view what every Chris-
tian may attain, and what it is the highest*
interest as well as the indispensable duty of
every Christian to aspire after. See here his
doubts and fears in the prospect of eternity;
though he had spent a long life in exemplary
holines.s, and in great nearness to God and
heaven. See his jealousies over his own heart,
and anxious concern to discover his sincerity ;
together with his sober appeals and earnest
attention to every dictate of reason and Scrip?
6 PREFACE.
ture, in order to establish his mind and con-
science in a well-grounded peace. See, also,
his unwearied striving with God and his own
soul to have his grace in vigorous exercise.
All these are well-known ingredients of the
Christian temper ; and therefore tend, not to per-
plex and discourage, but to counsel, strengthen,
and comfort serious readers, while they discern,
in one of Mr. Baxter's exalted attainments,
the same conflicts, complaints, and desires,
w r hich fill their own breasts.
It is observed of Lord William Russell,
who died a martyr for the liberty of his country,
that a little before his death, by a trusty mes-
senger, he sent Mr. Baxter his hearty thanks
for his Dying Thoughts, " which," says he,
4 * have made me better acquainted with the other
world than I was before ; and have not a little
contributed to my support and relief, and to
the fitting me for what I am to go through."
Though the Dying Thoughts were written
about forty years after the Saints' Rest, yet
both are evidently built on the same principles,
and are animated by the same spirit. And let
it suffice to add, that the abridgment of both
is conducted in the same manner.
B. fawcEtt.
DYING THOUGHTS.
FOR I AM IN A STRAIT BETWIXT TWO, HAY-
ING- A DESIRE TO DEPART AND TO BE WITH
CHRIST, WHICH IS FAR BETTER. Phil. 1:23.
CHAPTER I.
WHAT THERE IS DESIRABLE IN THE PRESENT
LIFE.
" Man that is born of a woman is of few
days and full of trouble ; he cometh forth like
a flower, and is cut down ; he fleeth also as a
shadow, and continueth not." " And dost thou
open thine eyes upon such a one, and bringest
me into judgment with thee?" As a watch
when it is wound up, or as a candle newly light-
ed, so man, newly conceived or born, begins a
motion which incessantly hastes to its appoint-
ed period. And as an action, or the time of it,
is nothing when it is past, so vain a thing would
man be, and so vain is life, were it not for the
8 DYING THOUGHTS.
hopes of a more durable life with which this is
connected. But those hopes and the means for
supporting them do not only distinguish a be-
liever from an infidel, but a man from a beast
When Solomon describes the difference omly in
respect to time and the things of time, he well
observes, that one event happening to both,
shows that both are vanity. And Paul says of
Christians, "If in this life only we have hope,
we are of all men most miserable." Though
even in this life, as related to a better, and as
we ourselves are exercised about things of a
higher nature than the concerns of a temporal
life, we are far happier than the men of the
world.
I am intending to speak to none but myself,
and therefore, supposing the meaning of the
text to be duly ascertained, shall only observe
what is useful to my own heart and practice.
In this chapter I will consider, "What there is
desirable in the present life ; then show, chap-
ter second, The necessity and reasonableness of
believing that pious separate spirits are with
Christ; next explain, chapter third, What it is
to depart and to be with Christ ; and, chapter
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. . 9
fourth, "Why it is far better to be with him. I
will conclude, chapter fifth, with expressing, My
concern that I myself may be willing to depart
and to be with Christ.
It was a happy state into which grace had
brought the apostle, who saw so much of what
was not only tolerable, but greatly desirable,
both in living and dying. " For him to live was
Christ," that is, to do the work and serve the
interest of Christ; for him "to die was gain,"
that is, would be his own interest and reward.
His strait was not whether it would be good to
live, or good to depart, because both were good,
but he doubted which of the two was more de-
sirable. Nor was it his meaning to bring his
own interest and Christ's into competition with
each other. By Christ, or the interest of Christ,
he means his serving the churches of Christ upon
earth. But he knew that Christ had an inter-
est also in his saints above, and could raise up
more to serve him here. Yet because he was
to judge by what appeared, and saw that such
were much wanted upon earth, this turned the
scales in his choice; and .therefore, in order to
serve Christ in the edification of his churches,
10 DYING THOUGHTS.
he was more inclined, by denying himself, to
have his reward delayed, at this same time well
knowing that the delay of his reward would tend
to its increase. Here let me observe, " That even
in this world, short of death, there is some good
so much to be regarded, as may justly prevail
with believers to prefer it before the present
hasting of their reward." I rather note this,
that no temptation may carry me into the ex-
treme of taking nothing but heaven to be worth
minding, and so even sinfully cast off the world
on pretence of mortification and a heavenly life.
Not that any thing on earth is better than heav-
en, or is in itself to be preferred before heaven.
The end, as such, is better than the means, and
perfect^n better than imperfection. But the
present use of the means may be sometimes
preferred before the present possession of the
end. And the use of the means for a higher
end may be preferred before the present posses-
sion of a lower end. Every thing has its sea-
son. Planting, sowing, and building are not so
good as reaping, fruit-gathering, and dwelling;
but in their season they must be first done.
But let me inquire, What there is so desira-
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. H
ble in this present life? The answer is obvi-
ous, for,
1. "While this present life continues, the will
of God is fulfilled, who will have us upon
earth for a season; and that is best which God
wills.
2. The life to come depends upon this pres-
ent life, as the life of adult age depends upon
infancy, or the reward upon the work, or the
prize of racers or soldiers upon their running
or fighting, or the merchant's gain upon his
voyage. Heaven is won or lost on earth ; the
possession is there, but the preparation is here.
Christ will judge all men in another state, as
their works have been in this, First, "Well
done, good and faithful servant;" then, "Enter
thou into the joy of thy Lord." "I have fought
a good fight, I have finished my course," must
go before the "crown of righteousness which
the Lord the righteous Judge shall give." All
that we ever do for salvation must be done here.
It was on earth that Christ himself wrought the
work of our redemption, fulfilled all righteous-
ness, became our ransom, and paid the price of
our salvation; and here also must we do our
12 DYING THOUGHTS.
part. The bestowing of the reward is God's
work, who we are sure will never fail. Here
is no room for the least suspicion of his failing
in any thing he undertakes ; but the danger and
fear is of our own miscarrying, lest we be not
found capable of receiving what God will cer-
tainly give to all that are fit to receive. To
distrust God is heinous sin and folly; but to
distrust ourselves is highly reasonable. So that
if we will make sure of heaven, it must be by
" giving all diligence to make our calling and
election sure" upon earth. If we fear hell, we
must fear our being prepared for it. And it is
great and difficult work we have to do upon
earth — as, for instance, to be cured of all dam-
ning sin; to be born again; to be pardoned and
justified by faith; to be united to Christ, made
wise to salvation, renewed by his Spirit, and
conformed to his likeness; to overcome all the
temptations of the world, the flesh, and the
devil; to perform all our duties towards God
and man; "with the heart to believe in Christ
unto righteousness, and with the mouth to make
confession unto salvation;" also to " suffer with
Christ that we may reign with him, and be
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 13
faithful unto death that we may receive the
crown of life." Thus on earth must we "so
run that we may obtain."
3. "We must labor to do good to many, and
therefore we have greater work to do on earth
than merely securing our own salvation. We
are intrusted with our Master's talents for his
service, to do our best in our places, to propa-
gate his truth and grace, to edify his church,
honor his cause, and promote the salvation of
as many souls as we can. All this is to be done
on earth, if we would secure the end of all in
heaven.
It is then an error, though but few are guilty
of it, to think that all religion lies in minding
only the life to come, and in disregarding all
things in this present life. All true Christians
must seriously mind both the end and the means
of attaining it. If they believingly mind not
the end, they will never be faithful in the use
of the means ; if they be not diligent in using
the means, they will never obtain the end.
Heaven must have our highest esteem, and our
habitual love, desire, and joy; but earth must
have more of our daily thoughts for present
14 DYING THOUGHTS.
practice. A man that travels to the most de-
sirable home has a habitual desire to it all the
way; but his present business is his journey,
and therefore his horse, inns, and company, his
roads and his fatigues, may employ more of his
thoughts and talk and action than his home.
I have often wondered to find David in the
Psalms, and other saints before the coming of
Christ, express so great a sense of the things of
this present life, and say so little of another;
making so much account of prosperity, domin-
ion, and victories on the one hand, and of per-
secution and the success of enemies on the oth-
er hand. But I consider that it was not for
mere personal and carnal interests, but for the
church of Grod, and for his honor, word, and
worship ; for they knew, if things go well with
us on earth, they will be sure to go well in
heaven; if the militant church prosper in holi-
ness, there is no doubt but it will triumph in
glory. Satan does much of his damning work
by men, as his instruments ; so that if we escape
their temptations, we escape much of our danger.
When idolaters prospered, Israel was tempted
to idolatry. Most follow the powerful and pros-
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 15
perous side. And therefore, for the glory of G-od
and for our own everlasting salvation, we must,
while upon earth, greatly regard our own, and
much more the church's welfare. Indeed, if
earth be desired only for earth, and prosperity
be loved only to gratify the flesh, it is the cer-
tain mark of damning carnality and an earthly
mind. But to desire peace and prosperity for
the sake of souls, the increase of the church,
and the honor of God, that "his name may be
hallowed, his kingdom come, and his will be
done on earth as it is in heaven," accords with
the highest and most sacred discharge of duty.
" And now, my soul, be not unthankful for
the mercies of this present life. This body is
so nearly united to thee, that it must needs be
a great help or hinderance. Had it been more
afflicted, it might have been a discouraging
clog, like a tired horse in a journey, or an ill
tool to a workman, or an untuned instrument
in music. A sick or a bad servant in a house
is a great trouble, and much more a bad wife ;
but thy body is nearer to thee than either of
these could be, and will be more of thy concern.
Yet if it had been more strong and healthful,
16 DYING THOUGHTS.
sense and appetite would have been strong;
and the stronger thy lusts, the greater would
have been thy danger, and much more difficult
thy victory and salvation. Even weak senses
and temptations have too often prevailed. How
knowest thou then what stronger might have
done ? When I see a thirsty man in a fever, or
dropsy, and especially when I see strong and
healthful youth bred up in fulness and among
temptations, how they are mad in sin, violently
carried to it, bearing down the rebukes of God
and conscience, parents and friends, and all re-
gard to their own salvation, this tells me how
great a mercy I had even in a body not liable
to their case. Also many a bodily deliverance
has been of great use to my soul, renewing my
time and opportunity and strength for service,
and bringing frequent and fresh reports of the
love of God. If bodily mercies were not of
great use to the soul, Christ would not so much
have showed his saving love as he did, by heal-
ing all manner of diseases. Nor would God
promise us a resurrection of the body, if a suit-
able body did not promote the welfare of the
soul.
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE 17
"I am obliged to great thankfulness to G-od
for the mercies of this life which he hath showed
to my friends. That which promotes their joy
should increase mine. I ought to ' rejoice with
them that rejoice.' Nature and grace teach us
to be glad when our friends are well and pros-
per, though all this must be in order to better
things than bodily welfare.
" Nor must I undervalue such mercies of this
life as belong to the land of my nativity. The
want of them is part of God's threatened curse ;
and ' godliness has a promise of the life that
now is, and of that which is to come, and so is
profitable unto all things.' When God sends on
a land the plagues of pestilence, war, persecu-
tion, and famine, especially a famine of the
word of God, it is a great sin to be insensible
of them. If any shall say, ' While heaven is
sure we have no cause to accuse God, or to cast
away comfort, hope, or duty,' they say well.
But if they say, 'Because heaven is all, we
must make light of all that befalls us on earth,'
they say amiss. Pious and public-spirited men,
who promote the safety, peace, and true pros-
perity of the commonwealth, do thereby very
D. Thoughts. 2
18 DYING THOUGHTS.
much "befriend religion and men's salvation, and
are greatly to be loved and honored by all. Let
me therefore be thankful for the preservation
from enemies, the restraint of persecution, the
concord of Christians, and increase of godliness
in this land, and especially that the gospel is
continued in it.
"Be particularly thankful, my soul, that
(rod hath made any use of thee for the service
of his church on earth. My God, my soul for
this doth magnify thee, and my spirit rejoiceth
in the review of thy great undeserved mercy.
what am I, whom thou tookest up from the
dunghill, or low obscurity, that I should live
myself in the constant relish of thy sweet and
sacred truth, and with such encouraging suc-
cess communicate it to others ? that I may say,
now my public work seems ended, that these
forty-three or forty-four years I have no reason
to think that ever I labored in vain? with
what gratitude must I look upon all places
where I lived and labored; but, above all, that
place which had my strength.^ I bless thee for
the great numbers of them gone to heaven, and
* Kidderminster.
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 19
for the continuance of piety, humility, concord,
and peace among them. Also for all that by
my writings have received any saving light
and grace. my God, let not my own heart
be barren while I labor in thy husbandry to
bring others unto holy fruit. Let me not be a
stranger to the life and power of that saving
truth which I have done so much to communi-
cate to others. let not my own words and
writings condemn me as void of that divine
and heavenly nature and life which I have said
so much of to the world.
"Stir up then, my soul, thy sincere de-
sires, and all thy faculties, to do the remnant
of the work of Christ appointed thee on earth,
and then joyfully wait for the heavenly perfec-
tion in God's own time. Thou canst truly say,
* To me to live is Christ.' It is his work for
which thou livest. Thou hast no other busi-
ness in the world. .But thou doest this work
with a mixture of many oversights and imper-
fections, and too much troublest thy thoughts
with distrust about God's part, who never fails.
If thy work be done, be thankful for what is
past, and that thou art come so near the port
20 DYING THOUGHTS.
of rest. If God will add any more to thy days,
serve him with double alacrity. The prize is
almost within sight. Time is swift and short.
Thou hast told others that ' there is no work-
ing in the grave,' and that it must be 'now or
never. 5 Dream not, because Christ's right-
eousness was perfect, that God will save the
wicked, or equally reward the slothful and the
diligent. As sin is its own punishment, holi-
ness is much of its own reward. Whatever
God appointed thee to do, gee that thou do it
sincerely, and with all thy might. If sin dis-
pose men to be angry because it is detected,
disgraced, and resisted, so that God be pleased,
their wrath should be patiently borne who will
shortly be far more angry with themselves. I
shall not be hurt when I am with Christ, by
the calumnies of men on earth ; but the saving
benefit will, by converted sinners, be enjoyed
everlastingly. Words and actions are transient
things, and being once past, are nothing; but
the effect of them on an immortal soul may be
endless. All the sermons that I have preached
are nothing now; but the grace of God on
sanctified souls is the beginning of eternal life.
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 21
ft is an unspeakable mercy to be thus em-
ployed sincerely and with success ; and there-
fore I had reason all this while to be in Paul's
strait, and make no haste in my ' desires to
depart.' The crown will come in its due time,
and eternity is long enough to enjoy it, how
long soever it be delayed. But if I will do
that which must obtain it for myself and
others, it must be quickly done, before my
declining sun be set. that I had no worse
causes of my unwillingness yet to die, than
my desire to do the work of life for my own
and other men's salvation, and to ' finish my
course with joy, and the ministry I have re-
ceived of the Lord !'
"As it is on earth I must do good to others,
so it must be in a manner suited to their earthly
state. Souls are here closely united to bodies,
by which they must receive much good or hurt.
Do good to men's bodies, if thou wouldest do
good to their souls. Say not, Things corporeal
are worthless trifles, for which the receivers
will be never the better. They are things that
nature is easily sensible of, and sense is the
passage to the mind and will. Dost thou not
22 DYING THOUGHTS.
find what a help it is to thyself, to have at any-
time any ease and alacrity of body ; and what
a burden and hinderance pains and cares are ?
Labor then to free others from such burdens
and temptations, and be not regardless of them.
If thou must ' rejoice with them that rejoice,
and weep with them that weep,' promote then
thy own joy by helping theirs, and avoid thy
own sorrows in preventing or curing theirs.
But, alas, what power has selfishness in most !
How easily do we hear our brethren's pains
and reproaches, wants and afflictions, in com-
parison with our own ! How few thoughts, and
how little cost and labor do we use for their
supply, in comparison with what we do for our-
selves ! Nature indeed teaches us to be sensi-
ble of our own case ; but grace tells us that
we should not make so great a difference as
we do, but should love our neighbor as our-
selves.
" And now, my soul, consider how merci-
fully God has dealt with thee, that thy strait
should be between two conditions so desirable.
I shall either die speedily, or stay yet longer
upon earth ; whichever it be, it will be a mer-
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 23
ciful and comfortable state. That it is 4 de-
sirable to depart, and be with Christ,' I must
not doubt, and shall hereafter more copiously
consider. And if my abode on earth yet longer
be so great a mercy as to be put into the bal-
ance against my present possession of heaven,
surely it must be a state which obliges me to
great thankfulness to Grod and comfortable
acknowledgment: nor should my pain, or sick-
ness, or sufferings from men, make this life on
earth unacceptable while G-od will continue
me in it. Paul had his thorn in the flesh, the
messenger of Satan to buffet him, and suffered
more from men than I have done ; and yet he
' gloried in his infirmities, and rejoiced in his
tribulations, 5 and was 'in a strait betwixt'
living and dying ; yea, rather chose to live yet
longer, Alas, the strait of most men is be-
tween the desire of life for fleshly interest, and
the fear of death as ending their felicity ; be-
tween a tiring world and body, which make
them weary of living, and the dreadful pros-
pect of future danger, which makes them afraid
of dying. If they live, it is in misery ; if they
must die, they fear greater misery: whether
24 DYING THOUGHTS.
they look behind or before them, to this world
or the next, fear and trouble is their lot. Yea,
many serious Christians, through the weakness
of their trust in Grod, live in this perplexed
strait, weary of living and afraid of dying, con-
tinually pressed between grief and fear. But
Paul's strait was between two joys, which of
them he should desire most. And if that be
my case, what should much interrupt my peace
or pleasure? If I live, it is for Christ, for his
service, and to prepare for my own and his
everlasting felicity; and should any suffering
make me impatient with such a work, and
such a life? If I die presently, it is my gain;
God, who appoints me my work, limits my
time ; and surely his glorious reward can never
be unseasonable, or come too soon, if it be the
time that he appoints. When I first engaged
myself to preach the gospel, I reckoned, as
probable, but upon one or two years, and Grod
has made it above forty-four. And what rea-
son have I to be unwilling now, either to live
or die ? God's service has been so sweet to me
that it has overcome the trouble of constant
pains or weakness of the flesh, and all that
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 25
men have said and done against me. How
much the following exceeds this pleasure, I
am not now able to conceive. There is some
trouble in all this pleasant work, from which
the soul and flesh would rest. And ' blessed
are the dead which die in the Lord; yea, saith
the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors,
and their works do follow them. 5 my soul,
what need has this kind of strait to trouble
thee ? Leave Grod to his own work, and mind
that which is thine. So live that thou mayest
say, ' Christ liveth in me ; and the life which
I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the
Son of Grod, who loved me, and gave himsell
for me.' Then, as thou hast lived in the com-
fort of hope, thou shalt die in the comfort oi
vision and enjoyment. And when thou canst
say of Grod, 'Whose I am, and whom I serve ;'
that thou mayest boldly add, ' I know whom I
have believed, and into his hands I commit my
departing spirit.' "
26 DYING THOUGHTS.
CHAPTER II.
THE NECESSITY AND REASONABLENESS OF BE.
LIEYING THAT PIOUS SEPARATE SPIRITS ARE
WITH CHRIST.
The subject suggests to my thoughts the
necessity of "believing that the souls of the
godly, when departed hence, shall be with
Christ, and the reasonableness of such a faith.
"We are elsewhere assured, that " we shall be
with him, where he is ;" arid to be with him
can be no less than a state of communion, and
a participation of happiness. To believe such
a state of happiness for departed pious souls,
must appear, upon consideration, to be both
necessary and reasonable.
I. The necessity of believing that pious
separate spirits are with Christ, appears by
considering, that without this belief, we shall
be uncertain concerning the design of life — we
shall lose the most powerful motives to a holy
life — we can neither know, estimate, nor im-
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 27
prove our mercies, nor can we bear our suf-
ferings with comfort.
1. We shall be uncertain concerning the
design of life. It is allowed, that the right
end of life is to please God. But I must de-
sire to please God better than I do in this im-
perfect state, I must desire to please him per-
fectly. And our desires of our ultimate end
must have no bounds. God has made the
desire of our own happiness so necessary to the
soul of man, that it cannot be separated from
our desire to please him. Therefore, both in
respect to God and to our own happiness, we
must believe that he is the everlasting " re-
warder of them that diligently seek him." If
we knew not whether God will turn our pleas-
ing him to our loss, or to our having no gain
by pleasing him, this would hinder our love to
him, and our trust and joy in him; and con-
sequently hinder the cheerfulness, sincerity,
and constancy of our obedience. Had we no
certainty what God will do w T ith us, we must
have some probability and hope before we can
be entirely devoted to his service. How can a
man pitch upon an uncertain end? If he wa-
28 DYING THOUGHTS.
ver so as to have no end, he can use no means;
he lives not as a man, but as a brute. Or if
he pitch upon a wrong end, he will but make
work for repentance.
2. We shall lose the most powerful motives
to a holy life. Indeed, goodness is desirable
for itself; but the goodness of means is their
fitness for the end. We have here abundance
of hinderances, temptations, and difficulties,
which must be overcome. Our natures are
diseased, and greatly indisposed to the most
necessary duties; and will they ever be dis-
charged, if the necessary motives be not be-
lieved? Our duties to God and man may cost
us our estates, liberties, and lives. The world
is not so happy as commonly to know good men
from bad, or to encourage piety and virtue, or
to forbear .opposing them. And who will let
go his present welfare without some hope of
better as a reward? Men do not use to " serve
God for naught," or while they think it will be
their loss to serve him. A life of sin will not
be avoided for inferior motives. When lust
and appetite incline men strongly and con-
stantly to their respective objects, what shall
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 29
sufficiently restrain them, except the motives
from things eternal? If sin so overspread the
earth, notwithstanding all the hopes and fears
of a life to come, what would it do if there were
no such hopes and fears ?
3. We can neither know, estimate, nor im-
prove our mercies. Grod gives us all the mer-
cies of this life as helps to an immortal state
of glory, and as earnests of it. Sensualists
know not what a soul is, nor what soul-mer-
cies are, and therefore know not the just value
of all bodily mercies, but take up only with
the carcass, shell, or shadoiv, instead of the
life of their mercies. No wonder they are so
unthankful for God's mercies, when they know
not the real excellence of them.
4. Nor can we bear our present sufferings
with comfort, without the hope of living with
Christ. "What should support and comfort me
under my bodily languishings and pains, my
weary hours, and daily experience of the van-
ity and vexation of all things under the sun,
had I not a prospect of the comfortable end of
all ? 1, that have lived in the midst of great
and precious mercies, have all my life had
30 DYING THOUGHTS.
something to do to overcome the temptation of
wishing that I had never been horn; and had
never overcome it, hut by the helief of a hlessed
life hereafter. We should be strongly tempted,
in our considerate moments, to murmur at our
Creator as dealing worse by us than by the
brutes, if we must have had all. those cares
and griefs and fears — by the knowledge of what
we want, and the prospect of death and future
evils — which they are exempted from, and had
not withal the hope of future felicity to sup-
port us. Seneca had no better argument to
silence such murmurers than to tell them, "If
this life have more evil than good, and you
think G-od does you wrong, you may remedy
yourselves by ending it when you will." But
that could not cure the repinings of nature,
when weary of the miseries of life, and yet
afraid of dying. No wonder that so many
fancied that souls were punished in these
bodies for something done in a preexi stent
state. "0 how contemptible a thing is man,"
says Seneca, "unless he lifts up himself above
human things." Therefore says Solomon,
when he had tried all sensual enjoyments, " I
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 31
hated life, because the work that is wrought
under the sun is grievous unto me; for all is
vanity and vexation of spirit."
II. As for the reasonableness of believing
that pious separate spirits are with Christ, I
have often thought whether an implicit belief
of it may not be better than searching into its
nature, and trying what can be said against it
I have known many godly women who nevei
disputed the matter, but served G-od comforta-
bly to a very old age, and who lived many
years in such a cheerful readiness and desire
for death as few studious men ever attain to.
This no doubt was the divine reward of their
unwavering confidence and trust in the prom-
ises through Christ. On .the contrary, as
doubts and difficulties are apt to present them-
selves to an inquisitive mind, they must be
answered; for if we reject them unanswered,
we give them half the victory over us ; and a
faith that is not upheld by such evidence oi
truth as reason can discern and justify, is often
joined with much doubting, which men dare not
confess, but do not therefore overcome ; and
32 DYING THOUGHTS.
the weakness of such a faith may tend to en-
feeble all the graces and duties which should
he strengthened by it. Who knows how soon
a temptation from Satan, or infidels, or from
our own dark hearts, may assault us, which
will not be overcome without clear evidence ?
Yet many that try and reason and dispute
most, have not the stronger faith. Indeed,
there is a wide difference between that light
which discovers the thing itself, and a mere
artificial kind of knowledge, to form arguments
and answer objections. Unlearned persons,
who have little of the latter may have more of
the former, even that teaching from God which
reaches the heart as well as the understanding.
And who does not find it necessary to pray
hard for this divine teaching ? When I can
prove the truth of the word of God and of the
life to come with the most convincing evidence
of reason, I feel my need to cry daily to God
to " increase my faith," and to give me that
light which may sanctify the soul and reach
the end. Nevertheless, this effectual teaching
ordinarily supposes that which is artificial.
Unlearned Christians arc convinced, by good
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 33
evidence, that God's word is true and his re-
wards sure, though they cannot state that
evidence, or conceive of it without some con-
fusion. With respect to curious and needless
inquiries beyond what is revealed, it is a be-
liever's wisdom implicitly to trust his soul to
Christ, and to fear that vain, vexatious know-
ledge, which is selfish and savors of a distrust
of God, and is that sin and fruit of sin which
the learned world too little fears. That "God
is the rewarder of them that diligently, seek
him," and that holy souls shall be in blessed-
ness with Christ, I am convinced by the fol-
lowing concurrent evidences, on which my soul
raises its hopes : The immortality of the soul ;
the belief of it naturally implanted in all men ;
the duty of all men to seek after future happi-
ness; the difference between men and brutes,
concerning the knowledge of God and futuri-
ty; the justice of God, as the governor of the
world; divine revelation; God's hearing and
answering prayer; the ministration of angels;
the temptations of Satan, and especially the
sanctifying operations of the Spirit of God.
1. The soul of man is immortal; and there-
34 DYING THOUGHTS.
fore, if good, cannot be for ever in a bad con-
dition. An immortal spirit is "a distinct, self-
conscious, invisible being, endowed with natu<
ral powers of never-ceasing action, understand-
ing, and will, and which is neither annihilated
nor destroyed by separation of parts." Such
is the soul of man. If in this flesh our spirits
were not inactive and useless, we have no rea-
son to think that they will be so hereafter, and
that for ever. Though by the light of nature
we may know the immortality of souls, yet
without supernatural light we know not what
manner of action they will have in their sepa-
rate state. It satisfies me, that Grod will not
continue their noblest powers in vain ; and how
those powers shall be exercised is known to
him; and this his word tells us more than
nature. All things considered, there is no rea-
son to fear that souls shall lose their activity,
though they change their manner of action;
and so it is naturally certain that they are im-
mortal. And if holy souls are so far immortal,
their holiness must prove their happy immor-
tality. This the most just and holy God will
certainly secure to those whom he makes holy.
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 35
2. The "belief of the soul's immortality is
naturally implanted in all men. Almost all
pagan nations at this day,. as well as the Mo-
hammedans, believe it. As for the cannibals
and savages, whose understandings are least
improved, they are rather ignorant of it than
disbelieve it. Though some philosophers de-
nied it, they were every way inconsiderable :
though many others were doubtful, it was only
a certainty which they professed to want, and
not a probability. Most of the apostates from
Christianity, besides those philosophers who
have been its violent opposers, fully acknow-
ledged it. Julian was so persuaded of it, that
with a view to it he exhorted his priests and
the rest of his subjects to great strictness of
life, and to see that the Christians did not ex-
ceed them. Indeed, few of those that affect,
like the Sadducees, to disbelieve it, are able to
free themselves from the fears of future mis-
ery ; but, with all their efforts, conscience still
troubles them. And whence should all this be
in man, and not in beasts, if man had no more
cause for hopes and fears than they?
3. God has made it every man's duty to seek
36 DYING THOUGHTS.
after future happiness as the one thing need-
ful, and therefore there must certainly be such
a happiness for them that truly seek it. Some
believe a state of future retribution, as Chris-
tians, Mohammedans, and most heathens.
Others think it is uncertain, yet very probable.
And to others it is also uncertain, though they
rather think it untrue. Now all these ought
to seek after it, and make it their chief care
and labor; for natural reason requires every
man to seek that which is best with the greatest
diligence, and assures us that a probability
or possibility of future everlasting happiness is
better, and more worthy to be sought, than
any thing attainable in this present life. As
the will of man necessarily desires happiness,
it must desire that most which is best, and
which is known to be so. In this life there is
nothing certain for an hour. It is certain that
the longest life is short. It is certain that time
and sensual pleasure, when past, are nothing,
and no better than if they had never been. It
is also certain, that they are dissatisfying while
we possess them ; for carnal pleasure is no
sweeter to a man than to a beast, and to a
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 37
beast is unattended with fear of death, or any
misery after death ; nor has the beast any
labors, sufferings, or trials, in order to obtain
a future happiness, or avoid a future misery
Besides, it is self-evident, from the perfections
of Grod, and from the nature of his works, that
he does not make it man's natural duty to care
and labor most for that which is not, or to seek
what is not to be attained. If so, the duty of
man would result from deceit and falsehood ;
and Grod would govern the world by a lie, and
not by power, wisdom, and love ; and the bet-
ter any man was, and the more he did his duty,
he would be only the more deluded and miser-
able : and the more wicked and unbelieving
any man was, the wiser and happier would he
be. But all this is contrary 'to the perfections
and works of Grod; for he makes nothing in
vain, nor can he lie : much less will he make
holiness itself, and all that duty and work of
life which reason obliges all men to perform, to
be not only vain, but pernicious.
4. The difference between men and brutes
with respect to the knowledge of Grod and
futurity, shows that they differ as much in
38 DYING THOUGHTS.
their hopes. Man knows that there is a God
by his works ; and that this God is our Lord,
our ruler, and end, and that we naturally owe
him all our love and obedience ; and that it is
not the manner, even of good men, ever to suf-
fer their most faithful servants to be losers by
their fidelity, or to set them upon laboring in
vain. Man also knows that his own soul is
immortal, and therefore must be well or ill for
ever, and that this ought to be cared for. And
why should God give man all this knowledge
more than the brutes, if man is designed for no
more happiness than brutes ? Every wise man
makes his work fit for its design ; and will not
God do so? If God was not perfectly wise, he
would not be God. Therefore to deny man's
future hopes, is to deny God himself.
5. The justice of God as the governor of the
world, infers a state of future retribution. If
God did not govern man by laws, judgment,
and executions, there would be no proper law
of nature, and man would have no proper duty,
nor be in sin or fault. But experience tells us
that God morally governs the world; and his
right to do so is unquestionable. If God was
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 39
not the ruler of the world, the world would
have no universal laws, for no man is the uni-
versal ruler ; nor are kings, and other supreme
powers, utterly lawless and ungoverned. And
if God he a ruler, he is just; else he is not so
good as he requires earthly princes to he. But
how is God a righteous ruler, if he draws all
men to him hy deceit; if he ohliges them to
seek and expect a reward which he will never
give ; if he makes man's duty his misery; if he
requires man to lahor in vain ; if he suffer the
wicked to persecute and kill his servants, with-
out punishing the one and gloriously recom-
pensing the other, in a future state ?
6. The gospel revelation is the clear foun-
dation of our faith and hope. God has not left
us to the mere light of nature. " Christ has
brought life and immortality to light." One
greater than an angel was sent from heaven to
tell us what is there, and which is the way, and
to secure our hopes. He has conquered death,
and entered before us, as our captain and fore-
runner, into the everlasting habitations. He
has "all pqwer in heaven and earth, and all
judgment is committed to him." All his word
40 DYING THOUGHTS.
is full of promises of our future glory at the
resurrection. Nor are we without assurance
that the departing soul at death enters upon a
state of joy and blessedness, as appears by the
promise to the penitent thief on the cross ; the
parable of the rich man and Lazarus; Christ's
telling the Sadducees that God "is not the
G-od of the dead, but of the living;" the trans-
lation of Enoch and Elijah, and the appear-
ance of Moses and Elijah on the mount of trans-
figuration; our Lord's arguing, that "they who
kill the body are not able to kill the soul;" his
" commending his spirit into his Father's hands,"
and its being in paradise, while his body was in
the grave; his promising, ""Where I am, there
shall also my servant be," etc. ; Stephen's see-
ing heaven opened, and his praying, "Lord
Jesus, receive my spirit;" our being "come to
the spirits of just men made perfect;" Paul's
desiring to depart, and to be with Christ, which
is far better, and to be absent from the body,
and present with the Lord ; the blessedness ot
the dead who die in the Lord ; the disobedient
spirits being in prison, and the cities of Sodom
and (xomorrah suffering the vengeance of eter-
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 41
nal fire; also Christ's saying, "When ye fail,"
that is, leave this world, "ye shall be received
into everlasting habitations."
7. Grod's hearing and answering prayer in
this life, assures his servants that he is their
true and faithful Saviour. How often have I
cried to him when there appeared to be no help
in second causes; and how frequently, sud-
denly, and mercifully has he delivered me!
Such extraordinary changes, beyond my own
and others' expectations, while many plain-
hearted, upright Christians, by fasting and
prayer, sought Grod on my behalf, have abun-
dantly convinced me of a special providence,
and that Grod is indeed a hearer of prayer. I
have also seen wonders done for others by
prayer more than for myself: though I and
others are too much like those who " cried
unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved
them out of their distresses ; but they forgot
his works, and his wonders that he showed
them." And what were all those merciful
answers, but the fruits of Christ's power,
faithfulness, and love, the fulfilling of his
promises, and the earnest of the greater bless-
42 DYING THOUGHTS.
ing of immortality, which the same promises
entitle me to ?
8. The ministration of angels is also a help
to my belief of immortality with Christ. " They
have charge over us; encamp round about us;
hear us up in their hands ; joy in the presence
of God over our repentance ; and are all min-
istering spirits, sent forth to minister to the
heirs of salvation. As our angels, they always
behold the face of our Father which is in heav-
en. When the Son of man shall come in his
glory, all the holy angels shall come with him,
and he shall send them forth, and they shall
sever the wicked from among the just." Not
only of old did they appear to the faithful as
messengers from God, but many mercies does
God give to us by their ministry. And that
they are now so friendly and helpful to us, and
make up one society with us, greatly encour-
ages us to hope that we are made for the same
region, employment, and converse. They were
once in a life of trial, though not on earth ; and
having overcome, they rejoice in our victory.
The world above us is not uninhabited, nor be-
yond our capacity and hope ; but we are come
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 43
to the city of the living God, and to an innu-
merable company of angels.
9. Even Satan himself, by his temptations,
has many ways cherished my hopes of immor-
tality. There are few men, I think,- that ob-
serve what passes within them, but have had
some experience of such inward temptations as
show that the author of them is an invisible
enemy, and assure us that there are diabol-
ical spirits which seek man's misery by tempt-
ing him to sin, and consequently that future
happiness or misery must be expected by us
all.
10. More especially the sanctifying opera-
tions of the Spirit of God are the earnest of
heaven, and the sure prognostic of our immor-
tal happiness. It is a change of grand impor-
tance to man, to be renewed in his mind, his
will, and life. It repairs his depraved facul-
ties. It causes man to live as man, who was
degenerated to a life too much like the brutes.
Men are slaves to sin till Christ makes them
free. " Where the Spirit of the Lord is, th&re
is liberty." If 'Vthe love of G-od shed abroad
in our hearts" be not our. excellence, health,
44 LYING THOUGHTS.
and beauty, what is ? " That which is born of
the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the
Spirit is spirit." " Without Christ" and his
Spirit, "we can do nothing." Our dead no-
tions and reason, though we see the truth, have
not power to overcome temptations, nor raise
up man's soul to its original end, nor possess
us with the love and joyful hope of future
blessedness. It were better for us to have no
souls, than have ouy souls devoid of the Spirit
of G-od. Heaven is the design and end of this
important change. What is our knowledge and
faith, but to know and believe that heaven con-
sists in the glory and love of God fhere mani-
fested, and that it was purchased by Christ, and
given by his covenant? What is our hope but
"the hope of glory," which we through the
Spirit wait for ? What is our love but a desire
of communion with the blessed Grod, begun
here, and perfected hereafter? What Christ
teaches and commands, he works in us by his
Spirit. He sends not his Spirit to make men
craftier than others for this world, but "wiser
to salvation," and more hoty and heavenly.
" The children of this world are in their gener-
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 45
ation wiser than the children of light." Heav-
enly mindedness is the special work of the Spirit.
In producing this change, the Spirit overcomes
all opposition from the world, the flesh, and the
devil. Christ first overcame the world, and
teaches and causes us to overcome it, even in its
flatteries and its frowns. " Our faith is our vic-
tory." "Whether this victory "be easy and hon-
orable to the Spirit of Christ, let us appeal to
our experience of the wickedness of the world,
and of our own weakness and falls. None can
do this work on the soul of man but God. Not
the most learned and holy teachers, or the wisest
and most affectionate parents, or the greatest
princes. Evil angels neither can nor will do it.
Q-ood angels do nothing towards it, but as obe-
dient ministers of God. We cannot quicken,
illuminate, or sanctify ourselves ; and though
we have some power, both conscience and expe-
rience testify that we have nothing but " what
we have received." Christ promised his Spirit
to all true believers, to be in them as his advo-
cate, agent, seal, and mark; and indeed the
Spirit here, and heaven hereafter, are the chief
of his promises. That this Spirit is given to
46 DYING- THOUGHTS.
all true believers, is evident by the effects of it.
They have ends, affections, and lives different
from the rest of mankind; they live upon the
hope of a better life, and their heavenly inter-
est overrules all the opposite interests of this
world, in order to which they live under the
conduct of divine authority; and to obey and
please Grod is the great business of their lives.
The men of the world discern this difference,
and therefore hate and oppose them because
they find themselves condemned by their heav-
enly temper and conversation. Believers are
conscious of this difference, for they desire to
be better, and to trust and love G-od more, and
to have more of the heavenly life and comforts ;
and when their infirmities make them doubt
of their own sincerity, they would not change
their governor, rule, or hopes for all the world ;
and it is never so well and pleasant with them
as when they can trust and love Grod most ; and
in their worst and weakest condition, they
would fain be perfect. Indeed, whatever real
goodness is found among men, it is given by the
same Spirit of Christ ; but it is notorious that
in heavenly mindedness and virtue, no part of
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 47
the world is comparable to serious Christians.
This spirit Christ also expressly promised, as
the means and pledges, the first-fruits and ear-
nest of the heavenly glory ; and therefore it is
a certain proof that we shall have such a glory.
He that gives us such a spiritual charge, which
in its nature and tendency is heavenly ; he that
sets our hopes and hearts on heaven, and turns
the endeavors of our lives towards future bless-
edness, and promised this preparatory grace as
the earnest of that felicity, may well be trusted
to perform his word in our complete, eternal
glory.
And now, weak and fearful soul, why
shouldest thou draw back, as if the matter was
doubtful ? Is not thy foundation firm ? Is not
the way of life, through the valley of death,
made safe by him that conquered death ? Art
thou not yet delivered from the bondage of thy
fears ? Hast thou not long ago found in thee
the motions and effectual operations of this
Spirit ? And is he not still residing and work-
ing in thee as the agent and witness of Christ ?
If not, whence are thy groanings after God,
thy desires to be nearer to his glory, to know
48 DYING THOUGHTS.
him and love him more? "Whence came all
the pleasure thou hast had in his sacred truth
and ways and service ? "Who subdued for thee
thy folly, pride, and vain desires ? "Who made
it thy choice to sit at the feet of Jesus, and hear
his word as the better part, and count the hon-
ors and preferments of the world but dung and
dross? "Who breathed in all those requests
thou hast sent up to Grod ? Overvalue not cor-
rupt nature, it brings forth no such fruits as
these. Remember what thou wast in the hour
of temptation, how small a matter has drawn
thee to sin. Forget not the days of thy youth-
ful vanity. Overlook not the case of thy sin-
ful neighbors, who in the midst of light still
live in darkness, and hear not the loudest calls
of God. Is it no work of Christ's Spirit that
has made thee to differ ? Thou hast nothing to
boast of, and much to be humbled and also to
be thankful for. Thy holy desires are, alas, too
weak, but they are holy. Thy love has been
too cold; but it is the most holy Grod whom
thou hast loved. Thy hopes have been too low ;
but thou hast hoped in Grod, and for his heav-
enly glory. Thy prayers have been too dull
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 49
and interrupted ; but thou hast prayed for holi-
ness and heaven. Thy labors have been too
slothful; but thou hast labored for God and
Christ, and the good of mankind. Though thy
motion was too weak and slow, it has been God-
ward, and therefore it is from God. bless
the Lord, not only for giving thee his word and
sealing it with uncontrolled miracles, but also
for frequently and remarkably fulfilling his
promises in the answer of thy prayers, and in
great deliverance of thyself and of many oth-
ers ; and that he has by regeneration been pre-
paring thee for the light of glory. And wilt
thou yet doubt and fear, against all this evi-
dence, experience, and foretaste?
I think it no needless labor to confirm my
soul in the full persuasion of the truth of its
immortal nature, and of a future life of joy or
misery, and of the certain truth of the Chris-
tian faith. I can no more doubt the being and
perfections of God, than whether there be an
earth or a sun. Christianity is only known by
revelation, which is so attested externally to
the world, internally to holy souls, as makes
faith a ruling, victorious, and comfortable
D Thoughts 4
50 DYING THOUGHTS.
principle. But the soul's immortality and
future reward is known in some measure by
the light of nature, and more perfectly by rev-
elation. "When I consider the great unlikeness
of men's hearts and lives to such a belief as we
all profess, I cannot but fear, that not only the
ungodly, but most that truly hope for glory $
have a far weaker belief of the soul's immor-
tality, and the truth of the gospel, than they
are apt to imagine. Can I be fully persuaded
of the future rewards and punishments of souls,
and that we shall be judged hereafter as we
have lived here, without despising all the vani-
ties of the world, and setting my heart with
resolution and diligence to a holy, heavenly,
fruitful life ? Who could stand trifling, as most
men do, at the door of eternity, that verily be-
lieved his immortal soul must be shortly there ?
Though such a one had no certainty of his own
salvation, he would nevertheless search and
try, watch and pray, and spare no care, cost,
or labor, to make all sure. If a man once saw
heaven and hell, would he not afterwards ex-
ceed the most resolute believer ? I confess there
is much weakness of faith in things unseen,
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 51
even where there is sincerity. But where there
is little diligence for the world to come, I must
think there is but little belief of it, and that
such persons are not aware how much they
secretly doubt the truth of it. Most complain
of the uncertainty of their title to salvation,
and very little of their uncertainty whether
there be a heaven and a hell. Whereas a hearty
persuasion of the latter would do more to con-
vince them of the former, than long examina-
tions and many marks of trial. It would
indeed confound faith and reason, if in the
body we had as clear and lively apprehensions
of heaven and hell as sight would occasion;
nor is the soul fit, while in the body, to bear
such a sight. But yet there is an overruling
seriousness, to which the soul must be brought
by a firm persuasion of future things. And
he that is careful and serious for this world,
and looks after a better only as a secondary
object, must give me leave to think that he
believes but as he lives, and that his doubting
of a heaven and hell is greater than his belief.
then, for what should my soul more pray,
than for a clearer and stronger faith? "I be-
52 DYING THOUGHTS.
lieve ; Lord, help my unbelief. I have many
thousand times groaned to thee under this bur-
den of remaining darkness and unbelief : I have
many thousand times thought of the evidences
of Christianity, and of the necessity of a lively,
powerful, active faith. I have cried to thee
night and day, 'Lord, increase my faith.' I
have written and spoken that to others, which
might he most useful to myself, and render my
faith more like sense. Yet, Lord, how dark is
this world! "What a dungeon is flesh! How
little clearer are my perceptions of things un-
seen, than they were long ago ! Is no more
growth of them to he expected ? Does the soul
no more increase in vigorous perception, when
the body no more increases in the vigor of sen-
sation ? Must I sit down with so slow a meas-
ure, when I am almost there, where faith is
changed for sight? let not a soul that is
driven from this world, and weary of vanity,
and can think of little else but immortality,
that seeks and cries both night and day for the
heavenly light, and fain would have some fore-
taste of glory, and some more of the first-fruits
of the promised joys — let not such a soul either
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 53
long, or cry, or strive in vain. Punish not my
former grieving of thy Spirit, by deserting a
soul that cries for thy grace, so near its great
and inconceivable change. Let me not languish
"in vain desires, at the door of hope ; nor pass
with doubts and fears from this vale of misery.
"Which should be the season of triumphant faith
and hope and joy, if not when I am entering
on the world of joy? thou that hast left us
so many words of promise, 'that our joy may
be full,' send, send the Comforter ; for
without his heavenly beams, after a thousand
thoughts and cares, it will still be night and
winter with my soul."
But I fear a distrust of G-od and my Redeem-
er has had too great a part in my desires after
a more distinct knowledge than Grod ordinarily
gives to souls in flesh. I know that I should
implicitly, absolutely, and quietly commit my
soul into my Redeemer's hands ; for a distrust-
ful care of the soul, as well as the body, is our
great sin and misery. Yet we must desire that
our knowledge and belief may be as distinct as
divine revelations are. We can love no further
than we know ; and the more we know of Grod
54 DYING- THOUGHTS.
and glory, the more we shall love, desire, and
trust. If I may not be ambitious of too sensi-
ble and distinct foretastes of things unseen, yet
I must desire and beg the most fervent love of
them of which I am capable, that my soul may
not pass with distrust and terror, but with suit-
able triumphant hopes, to everlasting pleasures.
" Father of lights, who givest wisdom to them
that ask, shut not up this sinful soul in dark-
ness. Leave me not to grope in unsatisfied
doubts at the door of celestial light. Deny me
not now the lively exercise of faith, hope, and
love, which are the stirrings of the new crea-
ture, the dawnings of eternal day, and the ear-
nest of the promised inheritance." Though,
like Cicero, after reading Plato's book on im-
mortality, our doubts return, and our fear inter-
rupts and weakens our desires and joys; yet I
find that it is chiefly an irrational fear, occa-
sioned by the darkness of the mind, the great-
ness of the change, the dreadful majesty of Grod,
and man's natural aversion to death, even when
reason is fully satisfied that such fear is con-
sistent with certain safety. Were I on the top
of a castle or steeple, fastened by the strongest
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 55
chains, or guarded "by the surest "battlements,
I could not possibly look down without fear;
and so it is with our prospect into the life to
come. If therefore my soul sees undeniable
evidence of immortality, and is able by irre-
fragable arguments to prove a future blessed-
ness; if I am convinced that divine promises
are true, and trust my soul and all my hope
upon them ; then neither my averseness to die,
nor my irrational fear of entering upon eternity,
can invalidate the reasons of my hope, or prove
the unsoundness of my faith, but only the weak-
ness of it. ""Why are ye fearful, ye of little
faith?" was Christ's just reproof to his disci-
ples. A timorous heart needs to be chided, by
saying, "Why art thou cast down, my soul?
and why art thou disquieted within me ? Hope
thou in Grod," etc.
5G DYING THOUGHTS.
CHAPTER III.
WHAT IT IS TO DEPART, AND TO BE WITH
CHRIST.
Having proved that faith and hope have a
certain future happiness to expect, the text
directs me next to consider, what it is to he
with Christ ; and, what it is to depart, in
order to he with him.
I. To he with Christ, includes presence
with him, union to him, and participation of
his happiness.
1. The presence of Christ, which pious sep-
arate spirits shall enjoy, must refer to his God-
head as well as to his human soul and hody.
"We shall he present with the divine nature of
Christ, as manifested in and by his glory. He
teaches us to pray, "Our Father, which art in
heaven," because in heaven the Father glori-
ously shines forth to holy souls. The soul of
man is eminently said to be in the head, be-
cause there it understands and reasons; and
not in the foot or hand, though it be also there.
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 57
As we look a man in the face when w r e talk to
him, so we look up to heaven when we pray
to G-od. Though "in God w r e live, and move,
and have our being," both as the G-od of na-
ture and grace, yet by the works and splendor
of his glory he is eminently in heaven, mani-
festing himself there by some created glory ; for
his essence is the same everywhere. We shall
be present with the human nature of Christ,
both soul and body. But here our present
narrow thoughts must not too boldly presume
to determine the difference between Christ's
glorified body, and his flesh upon earth; nor
where his glorified body is, nor how far it ex-
tends; nor wherein his soul and his glorified
body differ, seeing it is called a spiritual body.
We can conceive no more of such a body than
that it is pure, incorruptible, invisible to mor-
tal eyes, and fitted to the most perfect state of
the soul. Nor need we wonder how a whole
world of glorified bodies can all of them be
present with the one body of Christ; for as
the solar beams are so present with the air
that none can discern the difference of the
places w r hich they possess, and a world of
58 DYING THOUGHTS.
bodies are present with them both ; so may all
our bodies, without any confusion, be present
with Christ's body.
2. The union to Christ which pious separate
spirits shall also enjoy, must be like that of
subjects to their king; but how much more we
know not. The more spiritual, pure, and noble
any natures are, the more inclination they have
to union. Such instances of union as the vine
and branches, the head and members, are of
extensive import; yet being but similitudes,
we cannot determine how extensive. Far be
it from us to think that Christ's glorified body
is of such an earthly composition, and of such
a limited extent, as it was here; for then, as
his disciples and a few more were present with
him, while the rest of the world were absent
and had none of his company, so it would be
in heaven. But all true believers, from the
creation to the end of the world, as well as a
Paul, shall "be with Christ, and see his glory."
And though there will be different degrees of
glory, as there have been of holiness, yet none
in heaven are at such a distance from Christ
as not to enjoy the felicity of his presence.
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 59
3. "We shall also have communion with the
divine and human natures of Christ; both
which shall be the felicitating objects of per-
fect knowledge and holy love to the separate
spirits, before the resurrection. The chief part
of this communion will consist in Christ's com-
munications to the soul. As the whole crea-
tion is more dependent on God than the fruit
on the tree, or plant on the earth, or the mem-
bers on the body, so God uses second causes
in his communications to inferior natures ;
and it is more than probable that Christ's hu-
man nature is the second cause of communi-
cating both grace and glory, both to man in the
body and to the separate soul. As the sun is
both the cause and object of sight to the eye,
so is Christ to the soul. For as God, so the
Lamb is the light and glory of the heavenly
Jerusalem, and in his light they shall have
light. Though Christ shall give up the king-
dom to the Father, so that God may be "all
in all," and his creatures be fully restored to
his favor, and a healing government for recov-
ering lapsed souls to God shall be no more
needed ; yet surely he will not cease to be our
60 DYING THOUGHTS.
Mediator, the church's head, and the channel
of everlasting light, life, and love to all his
members. As "we now live because he lives,"
like the tranches in the vine ; and as the Spirit
that now quickens, enlightens, and sanctifies
us, is first the Spirit of Christ before it is ours,
and is communicated from God through him to
us ; so will it be in the state of glory : there
our union and communion with him will be
perfected, and not destroyed or diminished.
As it would be arrogance to think we shall be
above the need and use of Christ and his com-
munications ; so, I doubt not, we shall ever have
use for one another, as is plainly intimated by
" sitting down with Abraham, Isaac, and Ja-
cob, in the kingdom of God ;" by being "in
Abraham's bosom;" by "sitting at Christ's
right and left hand in his kingdom;" by being
"made ruler over ten cities;" and by joining
with those that "sing the song of Moses and
of the Lamb."
And certainly if I be "with Christ," I shall
be with all them that are with Christ, even
with all the heavenly society. Our mortal
bodies must have so much room, that the earth
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 61
is little enough for all its inhabitants, bo nar-
i row is our capacity of communion here, that
those of the antipodes, or on the opposite side
of the earth, are almost as strange to us as if
they were in another w r orld. "What strangers
are we to those of another kingdom, county,
or parish, and even of another house. But we
have great cause to think, by many scriptural
expressions, that our heavenly union and com-
munion will be nearer and more extensive, and
that ail the glorified shall know each other. It
is, I confess, a pleasant thought to me, and
greatly helps my willingness to die, to think
that I shall go to all the holy ones, both Christ
and angels and pious separate spirits. They
are each of them better and more amiable than I
am. Many are better than one, and the perfect
whole than a sinful part, and the new Jerusa-
lem is the glory of the creation. God has given
me & love to all that are holy, for their holi-
ness; and a love to the work of love and praise,
which they continually and perfectly perform ;
and a love to his celestial habitation, to his
glory shining there. My old acquaintance with
many a holy person gone to Christ, makes my
62 DYING THOUGHTS.
thoughts of heaven the more familiar to me.
how many of them could I name ! And it is*
no small encouragement to one that is to enter
upon an unseen world, to think that he goes no
untrodden path, nor enters into a solitary or
singular state, but follows all that from the
creation to this day have passed by death into
endless life. how emboldening to consider
that I am to go the same way, and to the same
place and state, with all the believers and saints
that have ever gone before me !
II. But I must depart before I can thus "be
with Christ." I must, particularly, depart
from this body, from all its former delights,
and also from more rational pleasures belong-
ing to the present life and world.
1. I must depart from this body. Here these
eyes must see no more, this hand move no more,
these feet walk no more, this tongue speak no
more. As much as I have loved, and over-
loved this body, I must leave it to the grave.
There must it lie and rot in darkness, as a
neglected and loathsome thing. This is the
fruit of sin, and nature would not have it so.
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 63
But it is only my shell, my tabernacle, my
clothing, and not my soul itself. It is only a
dissolution — earth to earth. It is but an in-
strument laid by, when all its work is done — a
servant dismissed, when his service is ended ;
as I cast by my lute when I have better em-
ployment. It is but as flowers die in autumn,
and plants in winter. It is but a separation
from a troublesome companion, and putting off
a shoe that pinched me. Many a sad and pain-
ful hour, many a weary night and day, have I
had. What cares and fears, what griefs and
groans, has this body cost me ! Alas, how much
of my precious time has been spent to main-
tain, please, or repair it! Often have I thought
that it cost me so dear to live, yea, to live a
painful, weary life, that were it not for the
higher ends of life, I had little reason to be
much in love with it, or be loath to leave it.
To depart from such a body, is but to remove
from a sordid habitation. I know it is the
curious, wonderful work of Grod, and not to be
despised or unjustly dishonored, but admired
and well used; yet our reason w T onders that so
noble a spirit should be so meanly housed, foi
64 DYING THOUGHTS.
we must call it "our vile body." To depart
from such a body, is but to be "loosed from
the bondage of corruption," from the clog and
prison of the soul. That body, which was a
fit servant to the soul of innocent man, is now
become as a prison. And further, to depart
from such a body, is but to be separated from
an accidental enemy, and one of our greatest
and most hurtful enemies; not, indeed, as the
work of our Creator, but as the effect of sin.
What could Satan, or any other enemy of our
souls, have done against us without our flesh ?
"What is it but the interest of this body that
stands in competition with the interest of God
and our souls ? What else do the profane sell
their heavenly inheritance for, as Esau his
birthright ? What else is the bait of ambition,
covetousness, and sensuality ? What takes up
the thoughts and cares which we should lay
out upon things spiritual and heavenly, but
this body and its life? What steals away men's
hearts from the heavenly pleasures of faith,
hope, and love, but the pleasures of this flesh ?
This draws us to sin, and hinders us from and
in our duty. Were it not for bodily interests
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 65
and temptations, how much more innocent and
holy might I live. I should have nothing to
care for, hut to please God and be pleased in
him, were it not for the care of this bodily
life. What employment should my will and
love have but to delight in God, and love him
and his interest, were it not for the love of
the body and its concerns ? By this the mind
is darkened, the thoughts diverted, our wills
corrupted, our heart and time alienated from
God, our guilt increased, our heavenly desires
and hopes destroyed; life is made unholy and
uncomfortable, and death terrible. God and
souls are separated, and eternal life is neg-
lected and in danger of being utterly lost. I
know that in all this the sinful soul is the
chief cause and agent ; but is not bodily inter- ,
est its temptation, bait, and end ? Is not the
body, and its life and pleasure, the chief allur-
ing cause of all this sin and misery ? And shall
I take such a body to be better than heaven,
or refuse to be loosed from so troublesome a
yoke-fellow, and separated from so burdensome
and dangerous a companion ?
2. I must depart from all the former pleas-
D. Thou-hts 5
66 DYING THOUGHTS.
ures of tins body. I must taste no more sweet-
ness in meat or drink, in rest or action, or any
such thing as now delights me. Houses and
lands, goods and wealth must all be left; and
the place where I live must know me no more.
All I labored for, or took delight in, must be no
more to me than if they had never been. But
consider, my soul, thy former pleasures are
already past. Thou losest none of them by
death, for they are all lost before, unless immor-
tal grace has made them immortal by sanctify-
ing them. All that death does to them is to
prevent the repetition of them upon earth. Is
not the pleasure which we lose by death com-
mon to every brute ? Meat is as sweet to them,
and ease as welcome, and appetite as vehement.
"Why then should it seem hard to us to lose that,
when God pleases, which we deprive the brutes
of at our pleasure? If we are believers, we
only exchange these delights of life for the
greater delights of a life with Christ, a comfort
which our fellow-creatures the brutes have not.
Are not the pleasures of life usually imbittered
with such pain that they seldom countervail
the attending vanity and vexation ? It is true,
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 67
nature desires life under sufferings that are tol-
erable, rather than die ; but that is not so much
from the sensible pleasure of life, as from mere
natural inclination to life which Grod has im-
planted in us. Do we not willingly interrupt
these pleasures every night when we betake
ourselves to sleep? To say that rest is my
pleasure, is but to say that my daily labors and
cares are so much greater than my waking
pleasures, that I am glad to lay by both togeth-
er. If we can thus be content every night to
die, as it were, to all our waking pleasures, why
should we be unwilling to die to them all at
once? If they be forbidden pleasures which
you are unwilling to leave, those must be left
before you die, otherwise you had better never
have been born. Every wise and godly man
casts them off with detestation. Indeed, the
same cause which makes men unwilling to live
a holy life, has a great hand in making them
unwilling to die — even because they are loath
to leave the pleasures of sin. If the wicked be
converted, he must be gluttonous and drunken
no more ; he must live in pride, vanity, worldly-
mindedness, and sensual pleasures no more ; and
68 DYING THOUGHTS.
therefore he draws hack from a holy life as it
were from death itself. But what is this to
those who "have mortified the flesh with the
affections and lusts ?" Consider also that these
forbidden pleasures are the great impediments
both of our holiness and of our truest pleasures.
One of the reasons why God forbids them, is
because they hinder us from better ; and if, for
our own good, we must forsake them when we
turn to God, we should therefore be the more
willing to die, in order to be free from the dan-
ger of them, and especially since death will
transmit us to infinitely greater pleasures.
3. I must also depart from the more rational
pleasures which I have enjoyed in this body;
as, for instance, from my present studies, which
are delights far above those of sensual sinners.
But let me consider : how small is our know-
ledge, compared with our ignorance ; how lit-
tle does the knowledge of the learned differ
from the thoughts of a child. As trifles are the
matter of childish knowledge, so artificial words
and forms make up more of the learning of the
world than is commonly understood. God and
the life to come are little better known by the
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. G9
learned, and often much less, than by many of
the unlearned. Of how little use is it to know
what is contained in many hundred volumes
that fill our libraries, and have given their au-
thors the name of virtuosi — not for their having
the virtue to live to Grod, or overcome tempta-
tions from the flesh and the world, and secure
their everlasting hopes. Much of our reading
and learning, alas, does us more harm than
good. Many a precious hour is lost in them
that should be employed in higher pursuits.
To many, I fear, it is as unholy a pleasure as
others take in thinking of lands and honors —
only the more dangerous for being the less sus-
pected. I know the knowledge of natural
things is valuable, and may be sanctified, and
made some way useful to my highest ends, and
I would be at any expense to procure more.
But I must earnestly pray, " May the Lord for-
give me the hours that I have spent in reading
things less profitable, for the sake of pleasing a
mind that would fain know every thing, instead
of spending them for the increase of holiness in
myself and others." Yet I must thankfully
acknowledge to God, that "from my youth he
70 DYING THOUGHTS.
taught me to begin with things of the greatest
weight, and to refer most of my other studies
thereto, and to spend my days under the mo-
tives of necessity and profit to myself, and those
that were committed to me." I would have
men most relish that learning in their health
which they will find sweetest in sickness, and
when near to death. And alas, how expensive a
vanity is this knowledge. Though it little dif-
fers from a pleasant dream, yet to attain a lit-
tle excellence in it, how many laborious days
and weeks must it cost us. " Much study is a
weariness of the flesh, and he that increaseth
knowledge increaseth sorrow." What painful
diseases and loss of bodily ease and health has
it occasioned me. What envy and opposition
has it exposed me to. And should a man be
loath to die for fear of leaving such troublesome,
costly learning and knowledge ? Let me es-
pecially consider that we shall certainly have a
nobler, sweeter, and more extensive knowledge
than is here attainable. Love never fails, and
we can love no more than we know ; u but proph-
ecies shall fail ; tongues shall cease ; knowledge,"
such as we now have, * ' shall vani sh away. When
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 71
I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood
as a child, I thought as a child; but when I
became a man, I put away childish things. For
now we see through a glass darkly, but then
face to face ; now I know in part, but then shall
I know, even as also I am known;" for though
my knowledge will not be like that of the bless-
ed God, it will be like that of holy spirits. In
order for a physician to describe the disease of
his patient, he needs much reading and close
inquiry; and after all, he goes much upon con-
jectures, and his knowledge is mixed with many
uncertainties and mistakes ; but when he opens
his corpse his knowledge is more full and true,
and obtained with greater ease and speed. A
countryman knows the town, fields, and rivers,
plants, and animals where he dwells, with ease,
perspicuity, and certainty, when mere geograph-
ical knowledge is liable to many mistakes. So
the sight of God and heaven will deserve the
name of wisdom, while our present glimpse is
but philosophy or the love of wisdom. We
should not, therefore, fear death for fear of los-
ing our knowledge; but rather long for the
world of glorious light, that we may get out of
72 DYING THOUGHTS.
this darkness into easy, joyful, and satisfying
knowledge.
Friendship is one of the more rational pleas-
ures enjoyed in this body, and from which I
must depart. He that believes not that there
are far more and better friends in heaven than
there are on earth, believes not, as he ought,
that there is a heaven. Our friends here are
wise, but they are also unwise. They are faith-
ful, but partly unfaithful. They are holy, but
alas, too sinful. They have the image of God,
but it is blotted and dishonored by their faults!
They do God and his church much service, but
they also do too much for Satan even when they
intend the honor of God. They promote the
gospel; but they also hinder it by their weak-
ness and ignorance, their selfishness, pride, and
passion, their divisions and contentions. They
are our helpers and comforters; but how often
are they also our hinderance, trouble, and grief:
in heaven they are perfectly wise and holy and
faithful, and there is nothing in them, nor done
by them, but what is amiable to God and man.
With our faithful friends we have here a mix-
ture of those that are useless and burdensome,
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 73
or hypocritical and malicious. But in heaven
there are none but the wise and holy ; no hyp-
ocrites, no burdensome neighbors, no treacher-
ous, oppressive, or persecuting enemies. Christ
loved his disciples, his kindred, and all man-
kind, and took pleasure in doing good to all,
and so did his apostles ; but how poor a recom-
pense had he or they from any but from God.
Christ's " brethren believed not on him." Peter
denied him. " All his disciples forsook him and
fled." And what then could be expected from
others? No friends have a perfect suitableness
to each other; and those inequalities that are
nearest to us are most troublesome. So vari-
ous and contrary are our apprehensions, inter-
ests, educations, our tempers, inclinations, and
temptations, that instead of wondering at the
discord and confusions of the world, we may
rather admire the providence of Grod which
maintains so much order and concord. The
greatest crimes that have been charged upon
me, have been those things which I thought to
be my greatest duties; and for those parts of
my obedience to Grod and my conscience which
cost me dearest, and where I pleased my flesh
74 DYING THOUGHTS.
least ? I pleased the world least. And is this
tumultuous, militant world a place that I should
be loath to leave ?
I must depart from all the means of grace,
though more precious to me than all earthly
enjoyments. Shall I love the name of heaven
better than heaven itself? Is not the posses-
sion of glory better than the promise of it ? If
a light and guide through the wilderness be
good, surely the glorious end must be better.
It hath pleased God that all things on earth,
even the sacred Scriptures, should bear the
marks of our state of imperfection. Imperfect
persons were the penmen. Imperfect human
language is the conveyance. Heaven will not,
to perfect spirits, be made the occasion of so
many errors and controversies as the Scriptures
are to us imperfect mortals. Yea, heaven is
the more desirable, because there I shall better
understand the Scriptures than here I can ever
hope to do. To leave my Bible, and to go to
the God and heaven which the Bible reveals,
will be no otherwise my loss than to leave the
picture for the presence of my friend. As for
mere human writings and instructions, the
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 75
pleasure of my mind is much abated by their
great imperfection ; and why should I think that
my own are blameless? I must for ever be
thankful for the holy instructions and writings
of others, notwithstanding human frailty ; and
so must I be thankful that God hath made any
use of my own for the good of souls and the
edification of his church. But how many al-
loys are there to such comforts. If good men,
and good books or sermons make the world seem
over-lovely, it will be the mercy of Grod to abate
the temptation. When we are dead to the love
of the godly themselves, of learning, books, and
ordinances, so far as they serve a selfish inter-
est and tempt our hearts from heavenly aspira-
tions, then indeed "the world is crucified to us,
and we to it."
Of all things, a departing soul has least cause
to fear losing the knowledge of worldly affairs.
If the sun gives light and heat to the earth, why
should I think that blessed spirits have no ac-
quaintance with earthly concerns? From the
top of a hill I can see more than from below ;
and shall I know less of earth from heaven
than I do now ? It is unlikely that my capaci-
76 DYING THOUGHTS.
ty will be so little, or that Christ and all the
angels will be so strange to me as to give me
no notice of things so interesting to my God
and Redeemer, to the holy society of which I
am member, and to myself as a member of
that society. Spirits are most active and of
quick and powerful communication. They
need not send letters nor write books, nor lift
up a voice. And as activity, so unity is great-
est where there is most perfection. Their
knowledge, love, and joy will be one. My
celestial advancement, therefore, will be no
diminution, but an inconceivable increase of
my desirable knowledge of things on earth.
If, indeed, I shall know less of things below, it
will be because the knowledge of them is a part
of vanity and vexation, which have no place
in heaven. I need not be afraid to hear any
more of bloody wars, desolated countries, dissi-
pated churches, persecuted Christians, silenced
preachers, party conflicts, contentious divines,
censorious professors of religion, with the cries
of the poor, or the endless complaints of the
melancholy.
Nor need I fear what other men are pleased
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 77
to suggest, that the church will want me. Is
it I, or God, that must choose his servants,
and cut out their work? Am I doing God's
work, or my own? If God's, must not he say
what, and when, and how long? And will
not his will and choice be best? If I believe
not this, how do I take him for my God? Does
God, or I, know best what is yet to be done,
and who is fittest to do it? What am I to
those more excellent persons whom in all ages
God hath taken out -of the world? Have not
many servants of Christ died in their youth,
who were far more likely to win souls and
glorify God than I am, or ever have been?
And shall I, at seventy-six years of age, after
such a life of unspeakable mercies, and after
almost fifty-three years of comfortable help in
the service of my Lord, be now afraid of my
reward, and shrink at the sentence of death,
and still be desirous to stay here, under pre-
tence of further service ? We know not what is
best for the church, as God does. The church
and the world are not ours, but his: not our
desires, therefore, but his will must measure
out its mercies. Nothing ever lay so heavy on
78 DYING THOUGHTS.
my heart as the sin and misery of mankind,
and to think how much of the world lies in
folly and wickedness. And for what can I so
heartily pray, as for the world's recovery? And
it is his will that I should show a holy and
universal love by praying, "Let thy name be
hallowed ; thy kingdom come ; thy will be
done on earth as it is in heaven." Yet, alas,
how unlike is earth to heaven ! "What sin and
ignorance, confusion and cruelties, reign and
prosper here! Without a wonderful change,
even by a general miracle, how little hope ap-
pears that ever these prayers should be an-
swered. Indeed, it makes us better to desire
that others may be better; and God seems to
permit the ignorance and confusion of this
world, to help us the more to value and desire
the world of light, love, and order. If I am
any way useful to the world, undeserved mercy
hath made me so, for which I must be thank-
ful; how long I shall be so, is not my business
to determine, but my Lord's. As God will be
served and pleased by a wonderful variety of
animals and vegetables, so he will by their
successive generations. If one flower fall or
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 79
die, others in future summers shall arise from
the same root. God will have other genera-
tions to succeed us ; let us thank him that we
have had our time. And could we without
selfishness love others as ourselves, and God as
God, it would comfort us at death to have
others survive us, and the world continue, and
God still be God, and be glorified in his works.
Love would say, "I shall live in my succes-
sors; I shall more, than live in the life of the
world; and most of all, in the eternal life and
glory of God." Nor will God try us with too
long a life of temptations, lest we should grow
too familiar where we should be strangers, and
be utterly strangers to our home. No wonder
the world was ready for a deluge, by a deluge
of sin, when men lived six, seven, eight, or
nine hundred years. Had our great sensual-
ists any hope of living so long, they would be
like incarnate devils ; there would be no dwell-
ing near them for the godly. Nor will God
tire us with too long a life of afflictions. And
shall we grudge at the wisdom and goodness
which shortens them ? Though holy duties be
excellent and delightful, yet the weakness of the
80 DYING THOUGHTS.
flesh makes us liable to weariness, and abates
the willingness of the spirit. By our weariness
and complaints, our fears and groans, we seem
to think this life too long; and yet when we
should yield to the call of Grod, we draw back
as if we would have it to be everlasting.
" "Willingly submit, then, my soul. It is
not thyself, but this flesh, that must be dis-
solved — this troublesome, vile, and corruptible
flesh. Study thy duty, work while it is day,
and let God choose thy time; and willingly
stand to his disposal. When I die, the gospel
dies not, the church dies not, the praises of
Grod die not, the world 'dies not; but perhaps
it will grow better, and those prayers be an-
swered which seemed to be lost ; and perhaps
some of the seed I have sown will spring up
when I am dead. If my end was to do good
and glorify Grod, when good is done and Grod
is glorified, though I were annihilated, is not
my end attained?" "Lord, let thy servant
depart in peace," even in thy peace, "which
passeth all understanding," and which Christ,
the Prince of peace, gives, and which nothing
in tiie world can take away. " give me that
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 81
peace which suits a soul who is so near the
harbor, even the world of endless peace and
love. Call home this soul by the encouraging
voice of love, that it may joyfully hear, and
say, It is my Father's voice. Invite it to thee
by the heavenly messenger. Attract it by the
tokens and foretastes of love. The messengers
that invited me to the feast of grace, compelled
me to come in without constraint ; thy effect-
ual call made me willing. And is not glory
better than the grace which prepares for it?
Shall I not more willingly come to the celestial
feast ? What was thy grace for, but to make
me desirous of glory and the way to it? Why
didst thou dart down thy beams of love, but to
make me love thee, to call me up to the ever-
lasting centre ? Was not the feast of grace as
a sacrament of the feast of glory ? Did I not
take it in remembrance of my Lord till he
come ? Did not he that told me, ' All things are
ready,' tell me also, that ' He is gone to prepare
a place for us, and that he will have us to be
with him and see his glory ?' They that are
given him, and drawn to him, by the Father
on earth, do come to Christ; give now r , and
D. ThouphtiJ. f)
82 DYING THOUGHTS.
draw my departing soul to my glorified Head.
As I have glorified thee on earth in the measure
of thy grace bestowed upon me, pardon the sins
by which I have offended thee, and glorify me
in the vision and participation of my Redeemer's
glory. Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly, with
fuller life and light and love, into this too dead
and dark and disaffected soul, that with joyful
willingness it may come unto thee.
"Willingly depart, lingering soul: it is
from a Sodom ; though there be righteous Lots
in it, they are not without their sad blemishes.
Hast thou so often lamented the general blind-
ness and wickedness of the world, and art thou
loath to leave it for a better ? How often would-
est thou have rejoiced to see but the dawning
of a day of universal peace and reformation!
And wouldest thou not see it, where it shines
in perfect beauty? Hast thou prayed and
labored so hard to have the pleasure of a light
at midnight, and is it not thy desire to behold
the sun itself? Will the things of heaven
please thee nowhere but on earth, where they
are least and weakest ? Away, away ! vindic-
tive flames are ready to consume this sinful
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 83
world. Sinners are treasuring up wratli against
the day of wrath. Look not then "behind thee.
Away from this unhappy world ! ' Press toward
the mark, looking for and hastening unto the
coming of the day of Grod. 5 As this world has
used thee, so it would still do. "When thou
hast fared best in it, no thanks to it, but to
Grod. If thou hast had manifold deliverances
and preservations, and hast been fed with an-
gels' food, love not the wilderness, but thy
heavenly guide, protector, and deliverer. Does
Grod in his great mercy make pain and feeble-
ness the harbingers of death, and wilt thou not
understand their business ? "Wouldest thou
dwell with thy beloved body in the grave,
where it will rot in loathsome darkness? Tf
not, why should it now, in its painful languor,
seem to thee a more pleasing habitation than
the glorious presence of thy Lord ? In the
grave it will be at rest, nor at the night wish,
that it were morning, nor in the morning say,
"When will it be night? And is this a dwelling
fit for thy delight ? Patience in it, while God
will so try thee, is thy duty : but is such patience
a better and sweeter life than rest and joy?"
84 DYING THOUGHTS.
But alas, how deaf is flesh to reason. I have
reason enough to be willing to depart, even
much more willing than I am. that I could
be as willing as reason convinces me I ought to
be. Could I love God as much as I know I
ought to love him, then I should desire to de-
part and to be with Christ as much as I know
I ought to desire it. But death must be a pen-
alty even where it is a gain; and therefore it
must meet w T ith some unwillingness. Because
we willingly sinned, we must unwillingly suffer.
All the faith and reason in the world will not
make death to be no penalty, and therefore will
not take away all unwillingness. No man ever
reasoned or believed himself into a love of pain
and death, as such. But since the gain is un-
speakably greater than the pain and loss, there-
fore faith and holy reason may make our will-
ingness greater than our unwillingness, and our
hope and joy than our fear and sorrow. " Come
then, my soul, and think believingly what is
best for thee,'' which will be the subject of the
next chapter; "and wilt thou not love and de-
sire that most which is certainly best ?"
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 85
CHAPTER IV.
WHY IT IS FAR BETTER TO BE WITH CHRIST.
To say or hear that it is far better to he with
Christ, is not enough to make us willing. If I
firmly believe that it is best for me, I shall then
desire it. And have I not reason to believe it ?
Let me seriously consider, for my full convic-
tion, by what means I am preparing for this
happiness ; how this happiness is the end for
which I am preparing ; and how it will perfect
my knowledge, will, and activity in doing good.
1. The means by which I am preparing to
be with Christ, abundantly show that it is far
better to be with him. As for instance, that is
best for me which my heavenly Father's love
designs and chooses for my good. I hope I
shall never dare to say or think that he is mis-
taken, or that I could have chosen better for
myself. Many a time hath the wise and good
will of G-od crossed my foolish, rebellious will,
and afterwards I have perceived it was best.
It is not an enemy nor a tyrant that made me,
86 DYING THOUGHTS.
preserves me, or calls me hence. The more I
have tried him, the tetter I have found him.
Had I better obeyed his ruling will, how happy
had I been. And is not his disposing and re-
warding will as good ? Should I not die till my-
self or any of my dearest friends would have
it, would this rejoice me? foolish, sinful
soul, is it not far better to be at God's choice,
than my own or any man's? "Be of good
cheer then, my soul; it is thy Father's voice
that calls thee hence — his voice that called thee
into being, and out of a state of sin and death,
and bade thee live unto him — that called thee
so often from the grave, forgave thy sins, re-
newed thy strength, restored thee to the com-
forts of his house and service, and hath so gra-
ciously led thee through this howling wilderness
almost to the sight of the promised land. And
wilt thou not willingly go when such infinite
love calls thee ? Art thou not desirous of his
presence ? Art thou afraid to go to him who is
the only cure of thy fears ? What was it but
this -glory to which he elected thee — not to the
riches and honors of this world, or to the pleas-
ures of the flesh, but chose thee in Christ to an
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 87
inheritance in glory? If God chose thee to
blessedness, refuse it not thyself, nor behave
like a refuser." That is my best state which
my Saviour purchased, and promised as best.
As he bought me not with silver and gold, so
neither did he live and die to make me rich and
great in the world. "Who have more of these
than they that have least of Christ? Is it
heaven that cost so dear a price as his merits,
sacrifice, and intercession? Is that the end of
so wonderful a design of grace, and shall I now
be unwilling to receive the gift ? That is best
for me for which God's Holy Spirit is preparing
me. He is not persuading me from day to day
to love the world, but to come off from it, and
to set my heart upon things above. And would
I now undo all, or cross and frustrate all his
operations? Has grace been so long preparing
me for glory, and shall I be loath to take pos-
session of it? If I am not willing, I am not
yet sufficiently prepared.
If heaven be not better for me than earth.
God's word and ordinances have been all in
vain. Surely, that is my best which is the gift
of the better covenant ; which is secured to me
DYING THOUGHTS.
by so many sealed promises; to which I am
directed by so many sacred precepts, doctrines,
and examples ; and for which I have been called
to hear and read, meditate, watch, and pray.
Was it fleshly interest, or a longer life of world-
ly prosperity which the gospel covenant secured
to me, which the sacraments and Spirit sealed
to me, which the Bible was written to direct
me to, which ministers preached to me, which
my books were written for, and for which J
prayed and served God — or was it not for his
grace on earth and glory in heaven ? And is it
not better for me to have the end of these means,
than lose them and my hopes? Why have I
used them, if I would not attain their end?
That is my best state to which all (rod's father-
ly providences tend. All his sweeter mercies
and sharper corrections are to make me par-
taker of his holiness, and lead me to glory in
the way in which my Saviour and all his saints
have gone before me. All things work together
for the best to me, by preparing me for that
which is best indeed. Both calms and storms
are to bring me to this harbor ; if I take them
but for themselves and for this present life, I
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 89
mistake them, unthankfully vilify them, and
lose their end, life, and sweetness. Every
word and work of God, every day's mercies and
changes, look at heaven and intend eternity
God leads me no other way: if I follow him
not, I forsake my hope in forsaking him ; if I
follow him, shall I be unwilling to be at home
and arrive at the end of all this way?
Certainly, that is best for me which God re-
quires me principally to value, love, and seek.
If my business in the world be only for the
things of the world, how vain a creature is man,
and how little is the difference between waking
and sleeping, life and death. And is it my duty
to seek heaven with all the fervor of my soul
and diligence of my life, and is it not best to
find it? That must needs be best for me, for
the sake of which all other things must be for-
sook. It is folly "to forsake the better for the
worse; but Scripture, reason, and conscience
tell me that all this world should be forsaken
for the least hope of heaven, when it comes in
competition. A possible everlasting glory should
be preferred before a certainly perishing vanity.
I am sure this life will shortly be nothing to
90 DYING THOUGHTS.
me, and therefore it is nothing now. And must
I forsake all for my everlasting hopes, and yet be
unwilling to enter on the full possession ? That
is like to be our best which is our most mature
state, Nature is ever tending towards perfec-
tion. Every fruit is best when it is ripe. And
does God cause saints to grow to greater ripe-
ness only to be useless? It is not credible.
"Our souls return to God that gave them;"
and though he needs them not, he puts them to
such heavenly uses as their maturity fits them
for. Since love has ripened me for itself, shall
I not willingly drop into its hand ? That is like
to be best which has been most esteemed and
desired by the wisest and holiest in all ages, and
which all men at death allow to be best. No
men are usually worse than those who have no
belief or hope of a life to come. And none are
so holy, just, and sober, so charitable to others
and so useful to mankind, as those who firmly
believe and hope for a state of immortality.
And shall I fear such a state? And is not that
my best state which most displeases my great-
est enemies ? I need not say how much Satan
does to keep me and other men from heaven;
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 91.
and in order to that, how he tempts us with
worldly honor, pleasure, and wealth. Satan
would not have me get to heaven, and shall I
also be unwilling ? All these things tell me that
it is best to be with Christ.
2. As the end of all my preparation , it must
be far better for me to be with Christ. Is not
dwelling with God in glory far better than in
this sinful world? He that is our beginning is
our end. For our end all means are used ; and
the end attained is the rest of souls. How often
has my soul groaned under a sense of distance,
darkness, and alienation from God. How often
has it looked up and panted after him, and said,
"As the hart panteth after the water-brooks, so
panteth my soul after thee, God. My soul
thirsteth for God, for the living God; when
shall I come and appear before God? "Whom
have I in heaven but thee? and there is none
upon earth that I desire besides thee. It is good
for me to draw near to God.'' "Woe to me if I
dissembled ; if not, why should my soul draw
back? Is it because death stands in the way?
And is not my passage secured by the love of
my Father, and the resurrection and interces-
92 DYING THOUGHTS.
sion of my Lord? Can I see the light of heav-
enly glory in this darksome shell and womb of
flesh? All creatures are more or less excellent
and glorious, as (rod communicates most of
himself to them. They are said to be nearest
to him that have the noblest natures. There-
fore to be as near as my nature was intended
to approach, is but to attain the end and per-
fection of my nature. As I am now under^the
government of his officers on earth, so I expect
to be in heaven. If the law was given by an-
gels, and the angel of Grod was in the burning
bush, and the angel conducted the people
through the wilderness, and yet all these things
are ascribed to God, much more near and glo-
rious will the divine government be in heaven.
Here I am made, ruled, and sanctified for the
good of many, as above my own. I am sure
I must be finally for my glorified Redeemer,
and that he who is the first will be the ultimate
cause. In this respect, I shall be as near to him
as comports with the rank and order of my na-
ture. It is the honor of a servant to have an
honorable master, and to be appointed to the
most honorable work. My advancement will
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 95
be ultimately for God, and in such services as
are suitable to my spiritual and heavenly state.
Activity will be my perfection and my rest.
Though now I know not fully what service I
must do, I know it will be good, and suitable
to the blessed state I shall be in. It is not all
the use and work of my soul now to care for
my body, nor will it be hereafter. Though I
shall not always have a body, I shall always
have a God and a Saviour and a w r orld of fel-
low-creatures ; and when I shine not in the lan-
tern, nor see as in a glass, I shall yet see face
to face. To fulfil God's will here, would be the
fulfilling of my own. I am sure my soul shall
live, and that it shall live to God, and that I
shall fulfil his blessed will ; and so far as I am
pleased in doing it, it will be my felicity. The
soul's regular love to the body illustrates the
love of Christ to his church, and to every mem-
ber. Herein my Saviour excels me in power-
ful, faithful love. He will save me better from
pain and death than I can save my body, and
will more inseparably hold me to himself. If
•it pleases my soul to dwell in such a house -of
clay, how much more will it please my glori-
94 DYING THOUGHTS
fied Lord to dwell with his glorified body, the
church triumphant, and to bless each member
of it. It would be a kind of death to Christ to
be separated from his body. And will he take
incomparably greater pleasure in me for ever
than my soul does in my body ? then let me
long to be with him. Though I am naturally
loath to be absent from the body, let me not be
willingly absent from the Lord. And though
I would not be unclothed had not sin made it
necessary, let me " groan to be clothed upon
with my heavenly habitation," to become the
delight of my Redeemer, and to be perfectly
loved by love itself. The love and delight of
my glorified Head must be my felicity. I shall
be loved as a living spirit, and not as a thing
dead and insensible. If I must rejoice here
with them that rejoice, shall I not rejoice to
have my Lord rejoice in me and in all his glo-
rified ones ? Union will make his pleasure to
be much my own. It will fitly be said by him,
" Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord." The
heavenly society also will joyfully welcome a
holy soul. If now u there is joy in the presence
of the angels of God over one sinner that re-
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 95
penteth," what will there be over a perfect glo-
rified soul ? If our " angels " there " behold our
Father's face," how glad will they be of our
company. And will not love and union make
their joy my own? Surely that will be my
best condition w r hich angels and blessed spir-
its will be best pleased with; and in that in
which they most rejoice, I shall most rejoice
myself.
3. It is far better for me to be with Christ,
as thereby my knowledge will he perfected.
A soul that is with Christ is more likely to
know Christ and the Father in him, than a
soul that is present with the body and absent
from the Lord. What less can promise of being
with him signify? How much more excellent
will intuitive or immediate knowledge be, than
our present artificial knowledge. There will
be no expensive labor in getting it. It will
have no mixture of dark and bewildering un-
certainty and ambiguity when it is acquired.
It will be perfectly free from those contentions
which so much rob the ingenious of their time,
destroy their love, hinder their minds from
ascending to God and heavenly things, and fill
96 DYING THOUGHTS.
the church with sects and parties. Nor will it
leave any of that dissatisfaction so common
among the learned, while they have only the
shadow of knowledge, licking but the outside
of the glass, and leaving the wine within un-
tasted. What an excellence will there he in
each of the objects of this immediate know-
ledge. As, for instance, I shall know Grod
better. If an angel from heaven came down
on earth to tell us all of God that we would
know, who would not turn his back on libraries
and universities, to go and discourse with such
a messenger ? For one hour's talk with him,
what travel should I think too far, what cost
too great ? But here we must only have such
intimations as will exercise faith, excite desire,
and try us under the temptations of the world
and the flesh. The light of glory is to reward
the victory obtained by the conduct of the light
of grace. Grod in great mercy even here be-
gins the reward. They that " follow on to know
the Lord" usually find such increase of light,
not consisting in vain notions, but in the quick-
ening and comforting knowledge of God, as
greatly encourages them, and draws them still
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST 13 BEST. 97
on to seek more. If the pleasure the mind
has in common knowledge makes men spend
successive years in traversing sea and land, or
in turning over multitudes of tedious volumes,
who then upon earth can possibly conceive how
great a pleasure it will be for a glorified soul
to see the Lord ? All the pleasure I shall have
in heaven in knowing any of the works of God,
will be in my beholding God himself, his being,
wisdom, love, and goodness, in those works ;
for he is the life and glory of them all. " Bless-
ed are the pure in heart; for they shall see
God." And doubtless it will be no small part
of my delight to know the universe better. It
is exceedingly pleasant to know the least par-
ticle of the works of God. Yfith what dili-
gence and delight have men endeavored to
anatomize a body, yea, a small part of a car-
cass, for to know and describe worms and in-
sects, plants and minerals ! But no man ever
yet perfectly knew the nature and uses of the
least of them. If, indeed, we clearly saw the
nature and connection of every creature in sea
or land, what a delightful spectacle w r ould this
spot of the creation be ! How much more to
D. Thoughts. 7
98 DYING THOUGHTS.
see the whole creation ! And I shall have as
much of this as I shall be capable of; the
wonders of (rod's works shall raise my soul in
admiring, joyful praise for ever. "We have de-
sires after such knowledge in our present dark
and infant state; for "the works of the Lord
are great, sought out of all them that have
pleasure therein." As these desires are of God,
as he hath made his works to be known for his
glory, and as it is little that is known of them
by mortals, therefore they are known by them
in heaven, who are fitted to improve that know-
ledge to his praise. If Christ the wisdom of
God will teach me the true philosophy how to
love God and please him in all things here, I
shall quickly in heaven be a perfect philosopher.
Satan tempted Christ by "showing him all the
kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them,"
promising to "give him all, if he would worship
him;" but God will show me more than Satan
could show, and give me more of that which is
best, than Satan could give.
Nor will it be the least of my felicity in
heaven that I shall better know Jesus Christ,
and all the mystery of our redemption by him.
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 99
beatilyiiig knowledge, to know Him, "in
whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and
knowledge!"; to know the mystery of his
eternal Godhead, of his created nature, and of
the union of both, and to see (rod's wonderful
design and gracious work, in him, laid open to
our clearest view! Then all the dark texts
concerning his person, offices, and works will
be fully understood. All those strange and
difficult things which were the great exercise
and honor of faith, will then be plain. Diffi-
culties will no more be Satan's advantage, to
tempt us to unbelief or doubting. The sight
of the glory of my Lord will be my glory. If
now, "though we see not Christ, yet believing,
we love him, and rejoice in him with joy un-
speakable and full of glory," what love and joy
will the everlasting sight of our blessed Head
excite there in the souls of all the glorified ! I
shall better — how much better ! — "know the
heavenly Jerusalem, the triumphant church,
the blessed angels and glorified saints." What
a sight, what a joyful sight will death show
me, by drawing aside the veil; or rather the
Lord of life, by turning death to my advan
100 DYING THOUGHTS.
tage. As I now know the several rooms in my
house, so shall I then know the " many man-
sions" which Christ says "are in his Father's
house." If Nehemiah and the pious Jews re-
joiced so much at seeing the walls of Jerusa-
lem repaired, and others at the rebuilding of the
temple, what a joyful sight shall I have of
the heavenly Jerusalem ! I know that angels
now love us, minister unto us, rejoice in our
good, and are themselves far more holy and
excellent creatures than we are ; it is therefore
my comfort to think that I shall better know
them, and live in near and perpetual acquaint-
ance and communion with them, and bear my
part in the same choir in which they preside.
And when I think how sweet one wise and
holy companion has been to me here on earth,
and how lovely his graces have appeared,
what a sight will it be, when we shall see the
millions of "the spirits of just men made per-
fect," shining with Christ in perfect wisdom
and holiness ! If this world was full of wise,
just, and holy persons, how lovely would it be !
If one kingdom consisted of such, it would
make us loath to die and leave such a country,
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 101
were it not that the more the beauty of good-
ness appears, the more the perfection of it is
desired. It is pleasant to me to pray in hope
that earth may be made more like heaven,
which is now become so like hell ; but when I
shall see the society perfected in number, holi-
ness, and glory, employed in the high and joy-
ful praises of Jehovah — the glory of Grod and
the Lamb shining on them, and Grod rejoicing
over them as his delight, and myself partaking
of the same — that will be the truly blessed day.
And why does my soul, imprisoned in flesh, no
more desire it? I shall better understand all
the word of God. Though I shall not have the
use for it I now have in this life of faith, yet I
shall see more of Grod's wisdom and goodness,
love, mercy, and justice, appearing in it, than
ever man on earth could do. As the creatures,
so the Scriptures are perfectly known only by
perfect spirits. I shall then know how to solve
all doubts, reconcile all seeming contradictions,
and expound the hardest prophecies. That light
will show me the admirable method of those
sacred words where dark minds now suspect
confusion. How joyfully shall I then praise
102 DYING THOUGHTS.
my God and Saviour for giving his church so
clear a light to guide them through this dark-
some wilderness, and so sure a promise to sup-
port them till they are come to life eternal!
How joyfully shall I bless Him, who, by that
immortal seed, regenerated me to the hope of
glory, and ruled me by so holy and just a law!
In that world of light I shall better under-
stand God's works of providence. The wis-
dom and good of them is little understood in
small parcels. It is the union and harmony of
all the parts which displays the beauty of them.
And no one can see the whole together but God,
and they that see it in the light of his celestial
glory. Then I shall clearly know why God
prospered the wicked, and so much afflicted
the righteous ; why he set up the ungodly, and
put the humble under their feet; why he per-
mitted so much ignorance, pride, lust, oppres-
sion, persecution, falsehood, and other sins in
the world; why the faithful are so few; and
why so many kingdoms of the world are left in
heathenism, Mohammedanism, and infidelity.
I shall know why I suffered what I did, and
how many great deliverances I had, and how
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 103
they were accomplished. All our misinter-
pretations of (rod's works and permissions will
then be rectified, and all our controversies
about them be at an end. Among all these
works I shall especially know more of the na-
ture and excellence of God's mercies. The
lively sense of love and mercy makes lively
Christians abound in love to Grod, and in mer-
cy to others ; but the enemy of Grod and man
labors to obscure and diminish our views of
divine love and mercy. Ingratitude is great
misery as gratitude is true pleasure. We now
receive thousands of mercies wdiich we under-
value. But when I come to the state and
work of perfect gratitude, I shall perfectly
know all the mercies ever received by myself,
by my neighbors and friends, by the church,
and the world. Mercies remembered must be
the matter of our everlasting thanks, and we
cannot be perfectly thankful for them without
a perfect knowledge of them. The worth of
Christ and all his grace of the gospel, and of
all divine ordinances and church privileges, of
our books and our friends, our health, and all
the conveniences of our lives, will be better
104 DYING THOUGHTS.
understood in heaven than the most holy and
thankful Christian ever understood them here.
Then shall I he much better acquainted with
myself. I shall know the nature of souls and
the way of their operations, and how the Spirit
of Grod works upon them, and how that Spirit
is sent. from Christ to work upon them. I
shall know what measure of grace I myself
had, and how far I was mistaken concerning
it. I shall know more of the number and great-
ness of my sins, and of my obligation to par-
doning and healing grace. Yes, I shall know
more of my body as the habitation of my soul,
and how far it helped or hindered me, and
what were all its diseases, and how wonder-
fully Grod supported, preserved, and often de-
livered me. I shall also far better know my
fellow-creatures. The good and bad, the sin-
cere and hypocrites, will there be discerned.
Actions that were here thought honorable, will
then be found to be odious and unjust; and
wickedness will no more be flattered or exten-
uated. Many a good and holy work which was
reproached as criminal, will there be justified,
honored, and rewarded. Once more, I shall
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 105
better know from what enemies, sins, and dan-
gers I was here delivered ; what stratagems of
Satan and his instruments Grod defeated ; how
many snares I escaped; and how great is my
deliverance by Christ from the wrath to come.
All this knowledge will thus be advanced to
my glorified soul, beyond my present concep-
tions; and is it not therefore far better to be
with Christ ?
4. It is far better for me to be with Christ,
for the sake of having my will perfected. The
will is to the soul what the heart is to the body.
My greatest evil is there, and there will be my
greatest good. Satan did most against it, and
God will do most for it. When I am w r ith
Christ my will no more will be tied, to a body,
which is now the grand snare and enemy of
my soul, by drawing my love and care, my
fears and sorrows, to itself, and turning them
from my highest interest. There my will shall
not be tempted by a world of inferior good ; nor
shall meat and sleep, possessions and friends,
be my snares and dangers ; nor shall the mer-
cies of Grod be the tempter's instruments; nor
shall I have the flatteries or frowns of tyrants ;
106 DYING THOUGHTS.
nor will bad company infect or divert me, nor
the errors of good men seduce me, nor the rep-
utation of the wise and learned draw me to
imitate them in any sin. There will be none
of Satan's solicitations to pervert my will.
My will shall there be better than here, as it
shall have nothing in it displeasing to God —
no sinful inclination, no striving against God's
Spirit, no grudging at any word or work of
God, nor any principle of enmity or rebellion
l6ft. There it shall have no inclination to
injure my neighbor, or to do any thing against
the common good ; and there it shall have noth-
ing in it opposite to itself: no more " law of my
members warring against the law of my mind ;"
no more contrariety between sense and reason ;
but all will be unity and peace within.
There Christ will have perfectly sanctified my
will, and made it conformable to his own, and
to his Father's will. This is at least his mean-
ing when he prays, "that all his disciples may
be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in
thee, that they also may be one in us — that
they may be one, even as we are one." I shall
love and will the same that God loves and
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 107
wills. And how can the will of man have great-
er honor? Assimilation to an earthly king
is honorable, but much more to angels; but
most of all to be like God. Indeed, here the
divine image in us is, in its degrees, a con-
formity to the will of God. But alas, how
many thousand wishes and desires have we
had which are against the will of God ! We
shall have the full impression of God's will in
heaven, as face answers to face in a glass, or
the wax to the seal, or the finger of the clock
to the motion within, or as the echo to the
voice. I shall desire and never be disappointed.
I shall have as much love and joy as I wish.
Before I desire any thing, I shall know whether
it be God's will or not, and therefore shall never
wish any thing that shall not be accomplished.
Yea, my will shall be my enjoyment; for it
shall not be the desire of what I want, but a
complacency in what I possess. I shall want
nothing. I shall thirst no more. Rightly is
the will itself called love. My will shall be
full of perfect joy, when enjoying love and
pleasure will be my will. Thus shall I have
within myself a spring of living waters. My
108 DYING THOUGHTS.
will shall be confirmed and fixed in this con-
formity to the will of God. Now, both under-
standing- and will are so lamentably mutable,
that, further than God promises to uphold us,
we know not one day what we shall think,
judge, or will the next. But when love be-
comes our fixed nature, we shall be no more
weary of loving than the sun of shining. God
himself will be the full and everlasting object
of my love. Perfect joyful complacency in God
is the heaven which I desire and hope for. In
God there is all that love can desire for its full
everlasting feast. The nature of man's will is
to love good as good. God, who is infinitely
good in himself, will be that most suitable good
to me. He has all in himself that I need or
can desire. There is nothing for love to cleave
to, either above him, beyond him, or without
him. He is willing to be beloved by me. He
disdains not my love. He might have refused
such affections as have so often embraced van-
ity and filth. But he commands my love, and
makes it my greatest duty. He invites and
entreats me, as if he were a gainer by my hap-
piness. He seeks to me to seek to him, and
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 109
is both the first and most earnest suitor. He
that so valued my cold imperfect love to him
on earth, will not reject my perfect love in
heaven. And he is near to me, not a dis-
tant God out of my reach, nor unsuitable to
my love. Blind unbelievers may dream that
he is far off; but even now he is as nigh to us
as we are to ourselves. "When he would sanc-
tify us to love him, he brings us nigh to him-
self in Christ. Here we see him in his works
and word ; and there we shall see him in all
the perfect glory of his works, and shall de-
lightfully love that glorious perfection of the
universe, even the image of God in all the
world. I shall especially love the holy society,
the triumphant universal church, consisting of
Christ, angels, and saints. God himself loves
them more than his inferior works, and my love,
according to its measure, will imitate his.
" Think here, my soul, how sweet thy con-
dition will be, to love the. Lord Jesus, thy glo-
rified head, with perfect love ; when the glory
of God, which shines in him, will feast thy love
with full and everlasting pleasure ! The highest
created perfection of power, wisdom, and good-
110 DYING THOUGHTS.
ness, refulgent in him, will not permit thy love
to cease or abate its fervor. When thou shalt
see in the glorified church the precious fruits
of Christ's redeeming grace and love ; and when
thou shalt see thyself possessed of perfect hap-
piness by his love to thee, and shalt remember
what he did for thee, and in thee, here on earth :
how he ' called thee with a holy calling;' how
he * washed thee in his blood from all thy sins ;'
how he kindled in thee desires after glory ; how
he renewed thy nature; how he instructed,
guided, and preserved thee from sins, enemies,
and sufferings — all this will constrain thee ever-
lastingly to love him. Think also, my soul,
how delightful it will be to love those angels
who most fervently love the Lord. They will
be lovely to thee, as they have loved thee, and
more as they have been lovers of the church
and of mankind ; but far more as they are so
many refulgent stars which continually move
and shine and burn in perfect love to their Cre-
ator. blessed difference between that amia-
ble society and this dark, distracted, wicked
world. There I shall see or hear no evil; no
mixture of folly or pollution ; no false doctrine ;
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. HI
no bad example; no favoring wickedness; no
accusing goodness, nor hurtful violence; but
holy, powerful, active love will be all, and do all,
as their very nature, life, and work. And is
not a day with them better than a thousand
here ? And with holy angels I shall also love
holy souls that are made like them, and joined
with them in the same society. All their in-
firmities are there put off, and they also are
spirits made up of holy life and light and love.
When I think with what fervent love -to God,
to Jesus Christ, and to one another they will
be perfectly united there, grieve and blush,
my soul, that they should be here so disaffected
and divided. The imperfect image of God upon
them is amiable, but through their remaining
pride, error, and uncharitableness, it is hard to
live with some of them in peace. how de-
lightful will that communion of saints be where
perfect love shall make them one. Forget not,
my soul, how sweet God has made the course
of my pilgrimage by the fragrance and usaful-
ness of his servants' graces. How sweet have
my bosom-friends been ; how sweet the neigh-
borhood of the godly; how sweet their holy
112 DYING THOUGHTS.
assemblies, their writings, conference, and pray-
ers. "What then will it be to live in perfect
love with perfect saints in heaven for ever, and
with them perfectly to love the God of love?"
As the act and object of love will constitute
my future felicity, I shall not be the fountain
of my own delights, but my receiving from the
love of God and his creatures shall be sweeter
to me than my own activity. All love is com-
municative, but none compared with God's.
"Whatever good is done in the world, it is done
by love. Therefore parents care and provide
for children. Therefore my house and table
are not neglected, nor my books and learning
forgot, nor my friends despised, nor my life itself
thrown away. If a man love not his country,
posterity, and the common good, he will be as
a drone in the hive. And if created love be so
necessary, so active, and communicative, much
more will be the infinite love of the Creator.
His love is now the life of nature in the living,
the life of holiness in the saints, and the life of
glory in them that are glorified. In this love,
I and all the saints shall dwell for evermore.
And if I dwell in love, and love in me, surely
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H3
I shall "-ever drink of the rivers of pleasure."
Had I a great, wise, and good friend that did
for me the hundredth part of what Grod does,
how dearly should I love him. " Think then,
think believingly, seriously, constantly, my
soul, what a life thou shalt live for ever in the
presence and bosom of infinite, eternal Love.
He now shineth on me by the sun, and on my
soul by the Sun of righteousness, but it is as
through the crevices of my darksome habita-
tion ; but then he will shine on me and in me
openly, and with the fullest streams and beams
of love." Grod is the same God in heaven as
on earth; but I shall not be the same man.
Here the windows of my soul are not open to
his light ; sin has raised clouds, and consequent-
ly storms, against my comforts. The entrances
to my soul by the straits of flesh and sense are
narrow, and they are made narrower by sin
than they were by nature. Alas, how often
would Love have spoken comfortably to me, and
I was not at home to be spoken with, but abroad
among a world of vanities ; or was Rot at leisure,
or was asleep, and not willing to be awaked.
How often would Love have come in and dwelt
P. Thought*. 8
114 DYING THOUGHTS.
with me, and I have unkindly shut him out.
How often would he have freely entertained me
in secret, hut I had some trifling company or
"business that I was loath to leave. "When his
table has been spread for me, and Christ, grace,
and glory offered to me, how has my appetite
been gone, or dull. He would have been all to
me, if I would have been all for him. But in
heaven I shall have none of those obstructions.
All old unkindness and ingratitude will be for-
given. I shall then be wholly separated from
the vanity which here deceived me. I shall
joyfully behold the open face and attend the
charming voice of glorifying Love, and delight-
fully relish his celestial provisions. No disease
will corrupt my appetite. No sluggishness
will renew my guilty neglects. "The love of
the Father, the grace of the Son, and the com-
munion of the Holy Spirit" will triumph over
all my folly, deadness, and disaffection; and
my God-displeasing and self-undoing averseness
and enmity will be gone for ever. " Study this
heavenly work of love, my soul. These are
not dead or barren studies. It is only love that
can relish love, and understand it. Here the
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H5
will has its taste. "What can poor carnal world-
lings know of glorious love, who study it with-
out love? "What sounding brass or tinkling
cymbals are they that preach of God and Christ
and heavenly glory, without love. But gazing
on the face of love in Christ, tasting its gifts,
contemplating its glorioles reign, is the way to
kindle the sacred fire in thee. The burning-
glass must be turned directly to the sun, in
order to its setting any thing on fire. A holy
love like that in heaven must be studiously
fetched from heaven, and be kindled by the fore-
sight of what is there, and what we shall be
there for ever. Faith must ascend and look
within the veil. Thou, my soul, must not live
a stranger to thy home and hopes, to thy God
and Saviour. The fire that must warm thee is
in heaven, and thou must come near it and open
thyself to its influence, if thou wilt feel its pow-
erful efficacy. It is night and winter with car-
nal minds, when it is day and summer with
those that set their faces heavenward."
But in heaven God will make use of second
causes even in communicating his love and
glory. There the Lord Jesus Christ will not
116 DYING THOUGHTS.
only be the object of our delightful love, but
his love to us will be as the vital heat and mo-
tion of the heart to all the members, the root
of our life and joy. Did his tears for a dead
Lazarus make men say, " Behold how he loved
him?" "What then will the reviving beams of
heavenly life make us say of that love which
fills us with the pleasures of his presence, and
turns our souls into joy itself? " Believe, my
soul, thy Saviour's love, that thou mayest have
a foretaste of it, and be fit for complete enjoy-
ment. Let thy believing be so much of thy
daily work, that thou mayest say 'he dwells
in thy heart by faith,' and ' lives in thee,' and
that thy 'life in the flesh' is not a fleshly life,
but 'by the faith of the Son of Grod^who loved
thee, and gave himself for thee.' Look upon
the sun, and think with thyself how its motion,
light, and heat are communicated to millions
of creatures all over the earth and in the seas.
What if all these beams of light and heat were
proportionable beams of perfect knowledge, love,
and joy? If all the creatures under the sun
received from it as much wisdom, love, and joy
as they have of light, heat, and motion, what a
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H7
blessed world would it be, even a heaven upon
earth. Thus will the Sun of glory send forth
life, light, and joyful love on all the heavenly
inhabitants. Therefore now begin to live upon
the influence of his grace, that thou mayest
have his name and mark." He has not bid me
seek his grace in vain. He more than bids me
seek and ask. He teaches me to pray. He
makes my prayers, and writes them on my
heart. He gives me desires, and he loves to
have me importunate with him, and is dis-
pleased with me that I will ask and have no
more. How then comes my soul to be yet so
fond of this wretched flesh and world, and so
backward to go home and dwell with Christ?
Alas, a taste of heaven on earth is too precious
to be cast away upon such as have long grieved
and quenched the Spirit, and are not, by dili-
gent and patient seeking, prepared to receive it.
My conscience remembers the follies of my
youth, and many a later odious sin, and tells
me that if heaven were quite hid from my sight,
and I should never have a glimpse of the face
of glorious eternal Love, it would be just. I
look upward from day to day, and better to
118 DYING THOUGHTS,
know my God and my home, I cry to him
daily, "My God, my hopes are better than all
the possessions of this world, far better than all
the pleasures of sin. Thy gracious looks have
often revived me, and thy mercies have been
immeasurable to my soul and body. But 0, how
far am I short of what, even forty years ago,
I hoped sooner to have attained. "Where is ' the
peace that passeth all understanding, 5 which
should keep my heart and mind ' through Christ
Jesus V Where is the seeing, longing, and re-
joicing faith? Where is that pleasant famili-
arity with Christ in heaven, that would make
a thought of them sweeter than the thoughts of
friends, health, or all the prosperity and pleas-
ure of this world? Do those that i dwell in
God, and God in them,' and have their 'hearts
and conversations in heaven,' attain no more
clear and satisfactory perceptions of that blessed
state than I have yet attained? Is there* no
livelier sense of future joys? No sweeter fore-
taste, nor fuller silencing of doubts and fears?
Alas, how many of thy servants are less afraid
to go to a prison than to their God, and had
rather be banished to a land of strangers than
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H9
sent to heaven. Must I that am called thy
child, and an heir of heaven, and a coheir with
Christ, have no more acquaintance with my
glorified Lord, and no more love to thee, who
art my portion, before I go hence ? Shall I have
no more of the heavenly life and light and love ?
Alas, I have scarce enough in my meditations,
or prayers, or sermons, to denominate them
heavenly. And must I go hence, so like a
stranger, to my home ? Wilt thou take stran-
gers into heaven, and know them there as thine,
who know thee no better here? my God,
vouchsafe a sinner yet more of the Spirit of thy
Son, who came to earth to call up earthly minds
to God, and to open heaven to all believers.
What do I beg so frequently, so earnestly for
the sake of my Redeemer as the Spirit of life
and consolation, to show me the reconciled face
of God, and unite all my affections to my glo-
rified Head, and draw up this dark, drowsy soul
to love, and long to be with thee?"
Alas, though those are my daily groans, how
kittle do I ascend. I dare not blame the God
of love, nor my blessed Saviour, nor the Sancti-
fier and Comforter of souls. Undoubtedly the
120 DYING THOUGHTS.
cause is my sinful resistance of the Spirit, my
unthankful neglects of grace and glory. But
mercy can forgive, grace can overcome ; and
may I not hope for such a victory before I die ?
" Lord, I will lie at thy doors, and pour out my
complaints before thee. Thou hast told us how
kindly the dogs licked the sores of a Lazarus
that lay at a rich man's gate ; thou hast com-
mended the good Samaritan for taking care of
a wounded man ; thou sayest, ' Blessed are the
merciful ;' thou commandest us, ' Be merciful,
as your heavenly Father is merciful ;' and shall
I wait at thy doors in vain? Give me the
wedding-garment, without which I shall but
dishonor thy feast. Thou hast commanded me
to rejoice, and how fain would I in this obey
thee. that I had more faithfully obeyed thee
in ruling my senses, my thoughts, my tongue,
and in the diligent improvement of all my tal-
ents, then I might more easily have rejoiced.
Lord, help my love and joy. How can I rejoice
in death and darkness? I hoped I was long
since translated from the kingdom of darkness,
and delivered from the power of the prince of
darkness, and brought into that light which is
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 121
the entrance of the inheritance of saints ; and
yet, alas, darkness is still my misery. There
is light round about me in thy word and works,
but darkness is within me. And if my eye be
dark, the sun will be no sun to me. "What is
my unbelief but the darkness of my soul?
Lord Jesus, scatter all these mists. thou
Sun of righteousness, make thy way into this
benighted mind. send thy advocate to silence
every temptation against thy truth and thee, to
prosecute thy cause against thy enemies and
mine, and to witness my sonship and salvation.
I know, my Lord, heaven is not far from me,
no, not a day nor an hour's journey to a sepa-
rate soul. How quick is the communion of my
eyes with the distant sun. And couldest thou
not show me heaven in a moment ? Is not faith
a seeing grace? If, animated by thee, it can
see the invisible God in the unseen world, the
1 new Jerusalem, the innumerable company of
angels, and the spirits of just men made per-
fect, without thee it can do nothing, 5 and is
nothing. Forgive all my sins, and remove this
film that sin hath gathered, and my enlightened
soul will see thy glory. I know this veil of
122 DYING THOUGHTS.
flesh must also be rent before I shall see thee
with open face, and know my fellow-citizens
above, as I am known. It is not heaven on
earth I am asking, but that I may see it from
mount Nebo, and have the pledge and the first-
fruits; and that my faith and hope may kindle
love and desire, and make me run my race with
patience, and live and die in the joy which be-
comes an heir of heaven. But if my faith on
earth must not increase, let it make me the more
weary of this dungeon, and more fervently wish
for the day when all my desires shall be satisfied,
and my soul be filled with thy light and love."
And in subordination to Christ, I shall also
be a receiver in heaven from angels and saints.
If angels are greatly useful to me here, much
more will they be there, where I shall be more
capable of receiving from them. It will be no
more diminution to the honor of Christ to make
use of my fellow-creatures to my joy there, than
it was here. How gloriously will God shine in
the glory of the blessed ; how delightful will it
be to see their perfection in wisdom, holiness,
and love. They will love incomparably better
than our dearest friends on earth can, who can
"WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 123
only pity us in our pains, and go weeping with
our corpses to the grave ; but the friends above
will joyfully convoy or welcome our souls to
their triumphant society. What a glorious
state will it be, when all the love of angels and
saints in full perfection shall be so united as to
make one love to one God, and to each other,
as made one in Christ. We little know how
great a mercy it is here, to be commanded to
love our neighbors as ourselves, and much more
to be effectually taught of Grod to love one an-
other. Did we all live in such unfeigned love,
earth would resemble heaven, "G-o, then, go
willingly, my soul; love joins with light to
draw up thy desires. Art thou a lover of wis-
dom, holiness, and love, and wouldest thou not
be united to the wise and holy who are made
up of love? Art thou a hater of discords and
divisions on earth, and wouldest thou not be
where all the just are one? Is not thy body,
while kept together by an uniting soul, in a
better state than when it is to be crumbled into
lifeless dust ; and does not death creep on thee
by a gradual dissolution? Away then from
this incoherent state. The farther from the
124 DYING THOUGHTS.
centre, the farther from unity. It is now thy
weakness and imperfection which makes thee
so desirous that thy house, thy land, thy clothes,
thy books, yea, thy knowledge and grace, should
be thine, and thine only. How much more
excellent if thou couldest say that all these,
like the light of the sun, are mine, and every
one's as well as mine. In heaven thy know-
ledge, thy glory, and felicity shall be thine, and
others' as well as thine. The knowledge, good-
ness, and glory of all that perfect society shall
be thine as far as thy capacity extends. Then
hasten upward, my soul, with thy most fer-
vent desires, and breathe after that state with
thy strangest hopes where thou shalt not be
rich and see thy neighbors poor, nor be poor
while they are rich ; nor be well while they are
sick, nor sick while they are well." Commun-
ion, as it constitutes the very being of the city
of Grod, will be part of every one's felicity,
and none will have the less for the participation
of the rest. This celestial communion of saints
in one holy church, above what is here attain-
able, is now an article of our belief; but believ
ing will soon end in seeing and enjoying.
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 125
5. It is also far better for me to be with
Christ, that I may have a perfect activity in
doing good. There are good works in heaven,
and far more and better than on earth. There
will be more life and power for action ; more
love to God and one another, to excite action ;
more likeness to God and Christ in doing good,
as well as being good ; more union with the
beneficent Jesus, to make us also beneficent ;
and more communion, by each contributing to
the welfare of the whole, and sharing in their
common returns to God. What the heavenly
works are, we must perfectly know when we
come thither. " We shall join with the whole
society,'' as the Scriptures particularly describe,
" in giving thanks and praise to God and our
Redeemer." All passions earnestly desire to
be freely exercised, especially our holy affec-
tions of love, joy, and admiration of Almighty
God. In expressing such affections, we natu-
rally desire communion with many. Methinks,
when we are singing the praises of God in
great assemblies with joyful and fervent spir-
its, I have the liveliest foretaste of heaven upon
earth, and could almost wish that our voices
126 DYING THOUGHTS.
were loud enough to reach through all the
world, and to heaven itself. Nor could I ever
be offended with the sober and seasonable use
of instrumental music to help to tune my soul
in so holy a work. Nothing comforts me more
in my greatest sufferings, nor seems more fit
for me while I wait for death, than singing
psalms of praise to God, nor is there any exer-
cise in which I had rather end my life. Should
I not then willingly go to the heavenly choir,
where God is praised with perfect love and
joy and harmony? Had I more of a praising
frame of soul, I should long more for that life of
praise. I never find myself more willing to be
there than when I most joyfully speak or sing
the praises of God. Though the " dead praise
not God in the grave, nor dust celebrate him,"
yet living souls in heaven do it joyfully, while
their fleshly clothing turns to dust. " Lord,
tune my soul to thy praises now, that sweet
experience may make me long to be where I
shall do it better. Wherever there is any ex-
cellent music, I see men naturally flock to it
and hear it with delight. Surely, had I once
heard the heavenly choir, I should echo to their
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 127
holy songs, and think it the truest blessedness
to bear my part. My God, it is the inward
melody of thy Spirit, and my own conscience,
that must tune me for the heavenly melody.
speak thy love first to my heart, and then I
shall joyfully speak it to others, and shall ar-
dently seek after communion better than that
of sinful mortals. Though my sins make a sad
discord in my present songs, I hope my sighs
and tears for sin have had the honor of thine
acceptance, who despisest not a contrite soul.
But if thy Spirit will sing and speak within
me, and help me against the jarring murmur
of my unbelieving heart and pained flesh, I
shall then offer thee what is more suitable to
thy love and grace. I confess, Lord, that daily
tears and sighs are not unsuitable to the eyes
and voice of so great a sinner, now under thy
correcting rod. But 'he that offereth praise
glorifies thee;' and is not this the ' spiritual
sacrifice, acceptable through Christ, for which
we are made priests to God V I refuse not,
Lord, to lie in tears and groans when thou re-
quirest it, nor do thou reject those tears and
groans; but 0, give me better, that I may
128 DYING THOUGHTS.
have better of thine own to offer thee, and so
prepare me for the far better which I shall find
with Christ."
Probably God makes glorified spirits the
agents of his beneficence to inferior creatures.
"Where he bestows on any the noblest endow-
ments, we see he makes most use of such for
the benefit of others. Christ tells us we shall
be like, or equal to the angels, who are evi-
dently the ministers of (rod for the good of his
people in this world. The apostle says, "the
saints shall judge the world" and "angels;"
intimating that devils and damned spirits shall
be subjected to the saints. But if there were
no more for us to do in heaven, but with per-
fect knowledge, love, and joy to hold commun-
ion with God and all the heavenly society, it
is enough to excite, in a considerate soul, the
most fervent desires to be at home with God.
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 129
CHAPTER V.
THE AUTHOR BREATHES AFTER WILLINGNESS
TO DEPART AND TO BE WITH CHRIST.
I am convinced that it is far better to depart
and to be with Christ, than to be here. But
this conviction alone will not excite such de-
sires in my soul. They are opposed by a nat-
ural aversion to death, which sin has greatly
increased; by the remains of unbelief, which
avails itself of our darkness in the flesh and
our too great familiarity with this visible world ;
and also by the want of our more lively fore-
taste of heaven. What must be done to over-
come this opposition? Is there no remedy?
Yes, there is a divine teaching, by which we
must learn " so to number our days, that we
may apply our hearts unto wisdom." When
we have read and heard, spoken and written
the soundest truth and strongest arguments,
we still know as if we knew not, and be-
lieve as if we believed not, unless God pow-
erfully impresses the same things on our
minds, and awakens our souls to feel what we
D. Thought* 9
130 DYING THOUGHTS.
know. Since we fell from Grod, the commun-
ion between our senses and understanding,
and also between our understanding and our
will and affections, is violated, and we are di-
vided in ourselves by this schism in our facul-
ties. All men may easily know that there is
an almighty, omniscient, omnipresent, eternal,
and perfectly holy and good Grod, the maker,
preserver, and governor of all, who deserves
our whole trust, love, and obedience ; but how
little of this knowledge is to be perceived in
men's hearts or lives. All men know that the
world is vanity, that man must die, that riches
cannot then profit, that time is precious, and
that we have but little time to prepare for
eternity ; but how little do men seem to have
of the real knowledge of these plain truths.
Indeed, when Grod comes in with his powerful
awakening light and love, then those things
appear as different as if we were beginning to
know them. All my best reasons for our im-
mortality are but as the new-formed body of
Adam before " Grod breathed into him the
breath of life;" and he only can make them
living reasons. To the Father of lights I must
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 131
therefore still look up, and for his light and
love I must still wait. I must learn both as a
student and a beggar. "When I have thought
and thought a thousand times, I must beg thy
blessing, Lord, upon my thoughts. The eye
of my understanding w r ill be useless or vexa-
tious to me without thy illuminating beams.
shine the soul of thy servant into a clearer
knowledge of thyself and kingdom, and love
him into more divine and heavenly love, and
he will then willingly come to thee.
Why should I, by the fears of death, strive
against the common course of nature, and
against my only hopes of happiness ? Is it not
" appointed unto men once to die?" "Would I
have God make sinful man immortal upon
earth? When we are sinless, we shall be im-
mortal. The love of life was given to teach
me to preserve it with care and use it well,
and not to torment myself with the continual
foresight of death. If it be the misery after
death that is feared, what have I to do but
to receive the free reconciling grace which is
offered me from heaven to save me from such
misery, and to devote myself totally to him
132 DYING THOUGHTS.
who has promised, "Him that cometh to rue, I
will in no wise cast out ?" Had I studied my
duty, and remembered that I am not my own,
and that my times are in God's hands, I had
"been quiet from these fruitless fears. Had my
resignation and devotedness to (rod been more
absolute, my trust in him would have been
more easy. "But, Lord, thou knowest that I
would fain be thine, and wholly thine, and
that to thee I desire to live : therefore let me
wholly trust thee with my soul."
Why should I have any remaining doubt of
the future state of pious separate spirits ? My
Saviour has entered into the holiest, and has
assured me that " there are many mansions in
his Father's house," and that when we are
"absent from the body," we shall be "present
with the Lord s " "Who can think that all holy
souls that have gone hence from the beginning
of the world have been deceived in their faith
and hope ; and that all those whose hope was
only in this life have been in the right ? Shall
I not abhor every suggestion that contains such
absurdities ? Wonderful, that Satan can keep
up so much unbelief in the world, while he
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 133
must make men fools in order to make them
unbelievers and ungodly !
That my soul has no more lively foretastes
of heaven, arises from those many wilful sins
by which I have quenched the Spirit, and from
the soul's imprisonment in the flesh. This,
this is the misery and burden of my soul.
Though I can say, I love Grod's truth and grace,
his work and servants, yet, that I have no more
ardent and delightful love of heaven, where his
loveliness will be more fully opened to my soul,
is my sin, calamity, and shame. If I did not
see that it is so with other of the servants of
Christ as well as myself, I should doubt whether
affections so disproportionate to my profession
did not imply an unsound faith. It is strange
that one who expects quickly to see the glori-
ous world, and enter the holy celestial society,
should not be more joyfully affected with such
hopes ; and that I should think so much of the
pain and perishing of the flesh, though it be the
common way to such an end. hateful sin,
that has so darkened and corrupted souls as
to indispose them for their only expected hap-
piness. What did man, when he forsook th*
134 DYING THOUGHTS.
love and obedience of his God? How just that
this flesh should he our prison, which we are
for making our home! How mournful, that
there is no more grace and holiness, knowledge
of God and communion with him, in this world ;
that so few are saints, and those few T so very
imperfect; that while the sun shines on all
the earth, the Sun of righteousness shines on
so small a part of it ! He that made us capable
of holy and heavenly affections, gave us not
that capacity in vain. Yet, alas, how little of
God and glory enters into the hearts of men!
"When recovering light shines upon us, how
unthankfully do we entertain it. We cannot
have the conduct and comfort of it while we
shut our eyes and tarn away. And though
God give to the best not so much of it as they
desire, it is an unspeakable mercy, that in this
darksome world we may but hear of a better
world, and may seek it in, hope. We must
not grudge in our prison to be denied such a
presence of our king, and such pleasures of the
kingdom, as innocent and free subjects hewe.
Hope of pardon, and of a speedy deliverance,
are great mercies to malefactors. And if my
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 135
want of the knowledge and love of God, and
of joyful communion with the heavenly society,
be my prison, and as the suburbs of hell, should
it not make me long for the day of my redemp-
tion, and the glorious liberty of the sons of
God? My sincere desires of deliverance, and
of holiness and perfection, are my evidences
that I shall obtain them. As the will is the
sinner, so the obstinate continuance of a will
to sin is the cause of continued sin. So far as
God makes us willing to be delivered from sin,
so far we are delivered, and our imperfect de-
liverance is the way to more. If pains make
me groan for ease, and sickness for health, why
should not my remains of ignorance, unbelief,
and alienation from God, excite my desire
after the day of my salvation? As it is the
nature of my sin to draw down my heart from
God and glory; so it is the nature of my faith,
hope, and love, to raise my heart toward heav-
enly perfection ; not to desire death, but that
which is beyond it. And have I been so many
years in the school of Christ, learning both how
to live and die, praying for this grace and exer-
cising it against this sinful flesh ; and after all,
136 DYING THOUGHTS.
shall I not find flesh more powerful to draw
me downward, than faith, hope, and love, to
carry my desires up to God? "Q God, for-
bid. thou that freely gavest me thy grace,
maintain it to the last against its enemies, and
make it finally victorious. It came from thee ;
it has been preserved by thee ; it is on thy side,
and wholly for thee ; without it I had lived as
a beast, and should die more miserably than a
beast ; it is thine image that thou lovest ; it is
a divine nature and a heavenly beam. What
will a soul be without it, but a dungeon of
darkness, and dead to holiness and heaven?
Without it who shall plead thy cause against
the devil, world, and flesh? Without thy
glory, earth is but earth ; and without thy
grace, earth would be a hell. rather deny
me the light of the sun than the light of thy
countenance. Less miserable had I been with-
out life or being, than without thy grace.
Without thine and my Saviour's help, I can
do nothing. I could not pray or learn without
thee ; I never could conquer a temptation with-
out thee ; and can I die, or be prepared to die,
without thee? I shall but say, as Thomas of
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 137
Christ, I know not whither my soul is going,
and how can I know the way ? My Lord hav-
ing loved his own which were in the world, he
loved them unto the end. He even commended
and rewarded those that had continued with
him in his temptations. Thou lovest fidelity and
perseverance in thy servants; and wilt thou
forsake a sinner in his extremity, who consents
to thy covenant, and would not forsake thee ?
My God, I have often sinned against thee;
but thou knowest I would fain be thine. I
can say with Paul, thou art the ' Grod whose
I am, and whom I serve;' and that I could
serve thee better. To serve thee is but to re-
ceive thy grace, and use it for my own and
others 1 good, and thereby please and glorify
thee. I have nothing to do in this world but
to seek and serve thee. I have nothing to do
with my tongue but to speak to thee, and for
thee; and with my pen, but to publish thy
glory and thy will. What have I to do with all
my reputation and influence over others, but
to increase thy church, and propagate thy holy
truth and service ? What have I to do with my
remaining time, even these last and languish-
138 DYING THOUGHTS.
ing hours, but to look up unto thee, and wait
for thy grace and thy salvation ? pardon all
my carnal thoughts, all my unthankful treat-
ment of thy grace and love, and all my wilful
sins against thy truth and thee. Under the ter-
rors of the law thou didst even proclaim thyself
'the Lord, the Lord Grod, merciful and gracious,
long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and
truth ; keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving
iniquity, transgression, and sin.' And is not
'the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ' revealed
in the gospel for our more abundant faith and
consolation? My Grod, I know I can never be
sufficiently confident of thy all-sufficient power,
wisdom, and goodness. When I have said,
' Will the Lord cast off for ever ; and will he
be favorable no more? Is his mercy clean
gone for ever ? Doth his promise fail for ever-
more? Hath G-od forgotten to be gracious;
hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies V
conscience has replied, This is mine infirmity ;
I never wanted comfort for want of mercy in
thee, but for want of faith and holiness in my-
self. And hast thou not mercy also to give
me that faith and holiness? My Grod, all is
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 139
of thee, and through thee, and to thee; and
when I have the felicity, the glory of all for
ever will be thine. None that trust in thy na-
ture and promise shall be ashamed. If I can
live and die trusting in thee, surely I shall not
be confounded."
"Why then should it seem a difficult question
how my soul may willingly leave this world
and go to Christ in peace ? The same grace
which regenerated me, must bring me to my
desired end. " Believe and trust thy Father,
thy Saviour, and thy Comforter. Hope, for the
joyful entertainments of the promised blessed-
ness ; and long by. love for nearer divine union
and communion. Thus, my soul, mayest
thou depart in peace."
1. Believe and trust the promise of Grod.
How sure is it, and how suitable to his love, to
the nature of our souls, and to the operations
of every grace. " Why, my soul, art thou so
vainly solicitous to have clear, distinct concep-
tions of the celestial world ? "When thou art
possessed of a better state, thou shalt know it
as a possessor ought to do ; for such a know-
ledge as thou lookest after is part of the pos-
140 DYING THOUGHTS.
session. Thy Saviour and his glorified saints
are possessors. His knowledge must now be
thy chief satisfaction. Seek not vainly to usurp
his prerogative. "Wouldst thou be a God and
Saviour to thyself? Consider how much of the
fall there is in this selfish desire to be as God,
in knowing that which belongs not to thee to
know. Thou knowest that there undoubtedly
is a God of infinite perfection, " and that he is
a re warder of them that diligently seek him."
Labor more to know thy duty to this God, and
absolutely trust him as to the particulars of
thy reward. Thou didst trust thy parents to
provide thee food and raiment, and didst im-
plicitly obey them. Thou hast trusted phy-
sicians to give thee medicines, without inquir-
ing after every ingredient. If a pilot undertake
to carry thee to the Indies, thou canst trust his
conduct without knowing either the ship or
how to govern it, or the way, or the place to
which thou art conveyed. And must not thy
God and Saviour be trusted to bring thee safe
to heaven unless he will satisfy all thy inqui-
ries ? The command to be " careful for noth-
ing," and to "cast all thy care on God, who
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 141
careth for thee," obligeth thee in all things
that are God's part. To dispose of a depart-
ing soul is God's part. how much evil is
there in this distrusting, self-providing care.
Be not " cast down," departing soul, nor by-
unbelief " disquieted within me. Trust thou
in God," for soon shall experience teach thee
to "praise him," who is "the health of my
countenance, and my God."
How clearly does reason command me to
trust him, absolutely and implicitly to trust
him, and to distrust myself. He is essential,
infinite perfection, wisdom, power, and love
There is nothing to be trusted in any creature
but God working in it, or by it. I am alto-
gether his own, by right, by devotion, and by
consent. He is the giver of all good to every
creature, as freely as the sun gives its light ;
and shall we not trust the sun to shine ? He
is my Father, and has taken me into his fam-
ily ; and shall I not trust my heavenly Father ?
He has given me his Son, as the greatest pledge
of his love; and "shall he not with him also
freely give me all things ?" His Son purposely
came to reveal his Father's unspeakable love ;
142 DYING THOUGHTS.
and shall I not trust him who has proclaimed
his love by such a messenger from heaven ?
He has given me the Spirit of his Son. even
the Spirit of adoption, the witness, pledge, and
earnest of heaven, the seal of Grod upon me,
" holiness to the Lord;" and shall I not believe
his love and trust him ? He has made me a
member of his Son, and will he not take care
of me, and is not Christ to be trusted with his
members ? I am his interest, and the interest
of his Son, freely beloved and dearly bought;
and may I not trust him with his treasure ?
He has made me the care of angels, who re-
joiced at my repentance; and shall they lose
their joy or ministration ? He is in covenant
with me, and has " given me many great and
precious promises;" and can he be unfaithful ?
My Saviour is the forerunner, who has entered
into the holiest, and is there interceding for
me, having first conquered death to assure us
of a future life, and ascended into heaven, to
show us whither we must ascend, saying to
his brethren, "I ascend to my Father and
your Father, to my Grod and your Grod ;" and
shall I not follow him through death, and trust
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 143
such a guide and captain of my salvation?
He is there to " prepare a place for me, and
will receive me unto himself;" and may I not
confidently expect it ? He told a malefactor
on the cross, u To-day shalt thou be with me
in paradise," to show believing sinners what
they may expect. His apostles and other
saints have served him on earth with all these
expectations. " The spirits of just men made
perfect" are now possessing what I hope for,
and I am a " follower of them who through
faith and patience inherit the promised" felic-
ity ; and may I not trust him to save me, who
has already saved millions ? I must be at the
divine disposal, whether I will or not; and
however I vex my soul with fears and cares
and sorrows, I shall never prevail against the
will of Grod, which is the only rest of souls.
Our own wills have undone us, and are our
disease, our prison, and our death, till they are
brought over to the will of G-od ; and shall I
die, distrustfully striving against his wifl, and
preferring my own before it ?
"What abundant experience have I had of
God's fidelity and love; and after all shall I not
144 DYING THOUGHTS.
trust him? His undeserved mercy gave me
being, chose my parents, gave them affection-
ate desires for my real good, taught them to
instruct me early in his word, and educate me
in his fear ; made my habitation and com-
panions suitable, endowed me with a teachable
disposition, put excellent books into my hands,
and placed me under wise and faithful school-
masters and ministers. His mercy fixed me in
the best of lands, and in the best age that land
had seen. His mercy early destroyed in me
all great expectations from the world, taught
me to bear the yoke from my youth, caused
me rather to groan under my infirmities than
struggle with powerful lusts, and chastened
me betimes, but did not give me over unto
death. Ever since I was at the age of nine-
teen, great mercy has trained me up in the
school of affliction, to keep my sluggish soul
awake in constant expectation of my change,
to kill my proud and worldly thoughts, and to
direct all my studies to things the most neces-
sary. How has a life of constant but gentle
chastisement urged me to " make my calling
and lection sure," and to prepare my accounts,
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 1 15
as one that must quickly give them up to God.
The face of death, and nearness of eternity,
convinced me what books to read, what studies
to prosecute, what companions to choose ; drove
me early into the vineyard of the Lord, and
taught me to preach as a dying man to dying
men. It was divine love and mercy which
made sacred truth so pleasant to me, that my
life, under all my infirmities, has been almost
a constant recreation. How far beyond my
expectation has a merciful G-od encouraged me
in h. r s sacred work, choosing every place of my
ministry and abode to this day, without my
own seeking, and never sending me to labor in
vain. How many are gone to heaven, and how
many are in the way, through a divine bless-
ing on the word which in weakness I delivered.
Many good Christians are glad of now and then
an hour to meditate on God's word, and refresh
themselves in his holy worship but God has
allowed and called me to make it the constant
business of my life. In my library I have
profitably and pleasantly dwelt among the
shining lights, with which the learned, wise,
and holy men of all ages have illuminated the
P. Thought* 1
X46 DYING THOUGHTS.
world. How many comfortable hours have I
had in the society of living saints, and in the
love of faithful friends. How many joyful
days in solemn worshipping assemblies where
the Spirit of Christ has been manifestly pres-
ent, both with ministers and people. How
unworthy was such a sinful worm as I, who
never had any academical helps, nor much
from the mouth of any teacher, that books
should become so great a blessing to me, and
that (rod should induce or constrain me, quite
beyond my own intentions, to provide any such
like helps for others. How unworthy that Grod
should use me above forty years in so comfort-
able a work as pleading and w T riting for love,
peace, and concord, and with so much success.
"What mercy had I amidst the calamities of a
civil war, to live two years in safety at Cov-
entry, a city of defence, and in the heart of the
kingdom. When I afterwards saw the effects
of human folly and fury, and of Grod's dis-
pleasure, in the ruin of towns and countries,
and in the fields covered with carcasses of the
slain, how mercifully was I preserved and
brought home in peace. And Oh, how great
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 147
was the mercy showed me in a peaceable,
humble, unanimous people, so numerous, so
exemplary, and w T ho to this day maintain their
integrity and concord, when, for thirty-one
years, I have been forced to remain at a dis-
tance from them. "What a mercy, when I might
not speak by voice to any single congregation,
to be enabled to speak by writings to many,
and to have the plainest writings attended with
success, and some of them sent to preach in
foreign lands and languages. Though I have
been sent to the common jail for my service
and obedience to God, yet he has there kept
me in peace, and soon delivered me : and how
often has he succored me when nature and art
have failed. How he has cured my consump-
tive coughs, stopped my flowing blood, eased
my pained limbs, and upheld an emaciated
skeleton. I have had fifty years added to my
days, though I expected not to live one of
them ; and what strange deliverances have
been wrought for me, upon< the importunate
requests of many hundreds of my praying
friends. How have I been kept in ordinary
health and safety, when the raging pestilence
148 ' DYING THOUGHTS.
came near my habitation and consumed a
hundred thousand citizens. And how was my
dwelling preserved, when I saw London, the
glory of the land, in flames. These, and many
more, are my experiences of that wonderful
mercy which has measured my pilgrimage, and
filled up my days. Never did God break his
promise with me. Never did he fail me or
forsake me. And shall I now distrust him at
last?
" To thee, Lord, as to ' a faithful Creator,'
I commit my soul. I know that thou art ' the
faithful (rod, which .keepeth covenant and
mercy with them that love thee and keep thy
commandments. Thou art faithful, who hast
called me to the fellowship of thy Son Jesus
Christ our Lord.' Thy faithfulness has saved
me from temptation, and kept me from pre-
vailing evil, and will ' preserve my whole spirit
and soul and body unto the coming of Christ.'
It is in faithfulness thou hast afflicted me ; and
shall I not trust thee to save me ? ' It is
thy faithful saying, that thy elect shall obtain
the salvation which is in Christ Jesus, with
eternal glory; for if we be dead with him, we
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 149
shall also live with him ; if we suffer, we shall
also reign with him.' To thee, my Saviour,
I commit my soul ; it is thine by redemption,
thine by covenant ; it is sealed by thy Spirit,
and thou hast promised not to lose it. Thou
wast 4 made like unto thy brethren, that thou
mightest be a merciful and faithful High-priest
in things pertaining to Grod, to make reconcili-
ation for our sins.' By thy blood we have bold-
ness to enter into the holiest, by a new and
living way consecrated for us. Cause me to
i draw near with a true heart in full assurance
of faith.' Thy name is faithful and true.
True and faithful are all thy promises. Thou
hast promised rest to weary souls that come
to thee. I am weary of suffering, sin, and
flesh — weary of my darkness, dulness, and dis-
tance. Whither should I look for rest, but
home to my heavenly Father and thee ? I am
but a bruised reed, but thou wilt not break
me. I am but smoking flax, but thou wilt not
quench what thy grace hath kindled. Thou,
in whose name the nations trust, ' wilt bring
forth judgment unto victory.' The Lord re-
deemeth the souls of his servants, and none of
150 DYING THOUGHTS.
them that trust in him shall be desolate. I will
wait on thy name ; for it is good : I trust in the
mercy of G-od for ever and ever. The Lord is
good, a strong-hold in the day of trouble, and
he knoweth them that trust in him. Sinful
fear brings a snare ; but whoso putteth his trust
in the Lord shall be safe. ' Blessed is the man
that maketh the Lord his trust. Thou art my
hope, Lord Grod ; thou art my trust from my
youth. By thee have I been holden up from
the womb : my praise shall be continually of
thee. Cast me not off in the time of old age ;
forsake me not when my strength faileth.
G-od, thou hast taught me from my youth, and
hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works.
Now also, when I am old and gray-headed,
Grod, forsake me not. Mine eyes are unto thee,
G-od the Lord : in thee is my trust ; leave
not my soul destitute. I had fainted, unless I
had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in
the land of the living,' even where they that
live shall die no more." The sun may cease
to shine on man, and the earth to bear us; but
God will never cease to be faithful to his prom-
ises. Blessed be the Lord, who has commanded
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 151
me so safe and quieting a duty as to trust in
him, and cast all my cares upon him who has
promised to care for me.
2. Hope also for the salvation of God. Hope
is the ease, yea, the life of our hearts, which
would otherwise break, and even die within us.
Despair is no small part of hell. God cherishes
hope, as he is the lover of souls. Satan our
enemy cherishes despair, when his more usual
way of presumption fails. Hope anticipates
salvation, as fear does evil. It is the hypo-
crite's hope that perishes ; and all who hope
for durable happiness on earth must be deceived.
But " happy is he that hath the God of Jacob
for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God,
which made heaven and earth, which keepeth
truth for ever." Woe to me, if in this life
only I had hope. But the righteous hath hope
in his death. And hope maketh not ashamed.
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord,
and whose hope the Lord is. Lay hold then,
my soul, upon the hope set before thee;
it is thy sure and steadfast anchor, without
which thou wilt be as a shipwrecked vessel.
Thy foundation is sure, even God himself. Our
152 DYING THOUGHTS.
faith and hope are both in God. Christ dwells
in our hearts by faith, is in us the hope of glory.
By this hope, better than the law of Moses
could bring, we draw nigh unto God. "We hope
for that we see not, and with patience wait for
it. We are saved by hope. It is an encourag-
ing grace ; it excites our diligence and helps to
full assurance unto the end. It is a desiring
grace, and is an earnest to obtain the glory
hoped for. It is a comforting grace ; for the
God of hope fills us with all joy and peace in
believing, that we may abound in hope through
the power of the Holy Ghost. Shake off
despondency, my soul, and rejoice in hope
of the glory of God. Believe in hope, though
dying flesh would tell thee that it is against
hope.
What blessed preparations are made for our
hope ! God has confirmed it by two immu-
table things, his promise and his oath. "His
abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a
lively hope, by the resurrection of Christ, to an
inheritance incorruptible and undefiled, and
that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for
us." Grace teacheth us, that " denying ungoa-
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 153
liness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly,
righteously, and godly in this present world ;
looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious
appearing of the great God and our Saviour."
We are renewed by the Holy Ghost, and
justified by grace, that we should be made heirs
according to the hope of eternal life. The eyes
of our understanding are enlightened, that we
may know what is the hope of his calling, and
what the riches of the glory of this inheritance
in the saints. The hope which is laid up for
us in heaven hath, through the gospel, brought
life and immortality to light. Having hope
towards God, we exercise ourselves to have
always a conscience void of offence, and serve
Gfod day and night. For a helmet, we put on
the hope of salvation. Death is not to us as to
others which have no hope. Our Lord Jesus
Christ and God, even our Father, hath loved
us, and hath given us everlasting consolation
and good hope through grace, to comfort our
hearts and establish us in every good word and
work. We must hold fast the rejoicing of the
hope firm unto the end, and continue in the
faith grounded and settled, and not be moved
154 DYING THOUGHTS.
away from the hope of the gospel. And
now, Lord, what wait I for ? My hope is in
thee. Uphold me according to thy word, that
I may live, and let me not be ashamed of my
hope. Though our iniquities testify against us,
yet, Lord, the Hope of Israel, the Saviour
thereof in time of trouble, be not as a stranger,
leave us not. We have been showed the praises
of the Lord and his wonderful works, that we
might set our hope in Grod. Remember the
word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast
caused me to hope. If thou, Lord, shouldest
mark iniquities, Lord, who shall stand?
But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou
may est be feared. I wait for the Lord, my
soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. Let
Israel hope in the Lord ; for with the Lord
there is mercy, and with him is plenteous re-
demption. The Lord taketh pleasure in them
that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.
Though my flesh and heart fail, God is the
strength of my* heart. The Lord is my portion,
saith my soul ; therefore will I hope in him.
The Lord is good unto them that wait for him,
to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 155
man should both hope and quietly wait for the
salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man
that he hear the yoke in his youth, and that he
keepeth silence, and putteth his mouth in the
dust, if so he there may be hope.
G-od needs not flatter such worms as we
are, nor promise us what he never means to
perform. He has laid the rudiments of our
hope in a nature capable of desiring, seeking,
and thinking of another life. He has called
me by grace to actual desires and endeavors,
and has vouchsafed some foretastes. I look for
no heaven but the perfection of divine life, light,
and love in endless glory with Christ and his
saints, and this he has already begun in me.
And shall I not boldly hope, when I have ca-
pacity, the promise, and the earnest and fore-
taste ? Is it not God himself that caused me
to hope? "Was not nature, promise, and grace
from him ? And can a soul miscarry and be
deceived, that departs hence in a hope of God's
own producing and encouraging? "Lord, I
have lived in hope, I have prayed, labored,
suffered, and w 7 aited in hope, and by thy grace,
I will die in hope ; and is not this according to
156 DYINO THOUGHTS.
thy word and will ? And wilt thou cast away
a soul that hopes in thee by thine own com-
mand and operation ?" Had wealth and honor
and continuance on earth, or the favor of man,
been my reward and hope, my hope and I had
died together. "Were this our best, how vain
were man ; but the Lord liveth, and my Re-
deemer is glorified, and intercedes for me : and
the same Spirit is in heaven who is in my
heart, as the same sun is in the firmament and
in my house. The promise is sure to all Christ's
seed ; for millions are now in heaven who once
lived and died in hope : they were sinners once,
as I now am; they had no other Saviour, Sanc-
tifier, or promise, than I now have. Confess-
ing that they were strangers and pilgrims on
the earth, they desired a better country, that
is, a heavenly, where they now are. And
shall I not follow them in hope, who have sped
so well? Then, my soul, hope unto the
end. Hope in the Lord, from henceforth and
for ever. I will hope continually, and will
yet praise him more and more. My mouth
shall show forth his righteousness and salva-
tion; The Lord is at my right hand, I shall
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 157
not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and
my glory rejoiceth; my flesh also shall rest in
hope. Grod hath showed me the path of life :
in his presence is fulness of joy, at his right
hand there are pleasures for evermore.
3. What then remains, but that in faith and
hope I love my Grod, my Saviour, my Com-
forter, the glorious society, and my own per-
fection in glory, better than this burden of
flesh, and this howling wilderness ? How odious
is that darkness and unbelief, that unholiness
and disaffection, that deadness and stupidity,
which makes such love seem hard and unsuit-
able. Is it unsuitable or hard for the eye to
see the light or the beauties of creation, or for
a man to love his life or health, his father or
his friend ? What should be easier to a nature
that has rational love, than to love him who is
love itself? He that loveth all, and gives to
all a capacity to love, should be loved by all;
and he that hath especially loved me, should
especially be loved by me.
Love desires to please God, and therefore to
be in the most pleasing state, and freed from
all that is displeasing to him ; which is not to
158 DYING THOUGHTS.
be hoped for on earth. It desires all suitable
nearness, acquaintance, union, and communion.
It is weary of distance and alienation. It
takes advantage of every notice of God to re-
new and exercise these desires. Every mes-
sage and mercy from God is fuel for love, and
while we are short of perfection, stirs up our
desires after more of God. The soul is where
it loves. If our friends dwell in our hearts by
love, and if fleshly pleasures, riches, and hon-
or dwell in the hearts of the voluptuous, covet-
ous, and proud ? surely God and Christ, heaven
and holiness dwell in the heart which loves
them fervently. And if heaven dwell in my
heart, shall I not desire to dwell in heaven?
Would divine love more plentifully pour itself
upon my heart, how easy would it be to leave
this flesh and world. Death and the grave
would be but a triumph for victorious love. It
would be easier to die in peace and joy, than
to go to rest at night after a fatiguing day, or
eat when I am hungry. A little love has made
me willingly study, preach, write, and even
suffer ; and would not more love make me
willingly go to God ? Shall the imagination
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 159
of house, gardens, walks, libraries, prospects,
etc., allure the desires of deceived minds, and
shall not the thoughts of heavenly mansions,
converse, and joys, more powerfully draw up
my desires ? Can I love such a world as this,
where tyranny sheds streams of blood and lays
cities and countries desolate ; where the wicked
are exalted, the just and innocent reproached
and oppressed, the gospel restrained, and idol-
atry and infidelity prevail? And shall I not
think more delightfully of "the inheritance
of the saints in light," and of the cordial love
and joyful praises of the church triumphant ?
Should I not love a lovely and loving world
much better than a world where there is com-
paratively so little loveliness or love ? All that
is of God is good and lovely. But here his
glory shines not in felicitating splendor. I am
taught to look upward when I pray, "Our
Father which art in heaven." God's works
are amiable even in hell; and yet, though I
would know them, I would not be there.
And alas, how much of the works of man are
here mixed with the works of God! Here is
God's wisdom, but man's folly; God's govern-
160 DYING THOUGHTS.
ment, but man's tyranny ; God's love and mer
ey, but man's wrath and cruelty ; much of God's
beautiful order and harmony, but much of man's
deformity and confusion. Here is much truth
and justice; but how it is mixed. Here are
wise, judicious teachers and companions, but
comparatively how few. Here are worthy and
religious families ; but by the temptations of
wealth and worldly interest, how full even of
the sins "of Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and
abundance of idleness," if not also of unmerci-
fulness to the poor. And how few pious fami-
lies of the great, that do not quickly degenerate
from their progenitors by error or sensuality.
Here are some that educate their children wisely
krthe fear of God, and accordingly have com-
fort in them; but how many are there that
train them up to the service of the world, the
flesh, and the devil.
How many send their children to get sciences,
trades, or to travel in foreign lands, before ever
they were instructed, at home, against those
temptations which they must encounter, and
by which they are so often undone. How
commonly, when they have first neglected this
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. J61
great duty to their children, do they plead a
necessity of thrusting them out, from some
punctilio of honor, or conformity to the world,
or to adorn them with some of the plumes of
fashionable modes and ceremonies, which will
never compensate the loss of heavenly wisdom,
mortification, and the love of God and man.
As if they might send them to sea for some
trifling reason, without pilot or anchor, and
think that God must save them from the waves.
And when such children have forsaken God,
and given themselves up to sensuality and pro-
faneness, these parents wonder at the judg-
ments of God, and with broken hearts lament
their own infelicity, instead of lamenting their
own misconduct. Thus families, churches,
and kingdoms run on to blindness, ungodliness,
and confusion. Folly, sin, and misery, mis-
taking themselves for wit, honor, and prosper-
ity, are the ordinary pursuits of mortals. Such
a bedlam is most of the world become, that
he is the bravest man who can sin and be
damned with reputation and renown, and suc-
cessfully draw the greatest number with him
to hell. This is the world which stands in
D. Thought*. 1 1
162 DYING THOUGHTS.
competition for ray love, with the spiritual,
blessed world.
In this world I have had many of God's
mercies and comforts ; but their sweetness
was their taste of divine love and their ten-
dency to heavenly perfection. What was the
end and use of all the good that ever I saw, or
that God ever did for my soul or body, but to
teach me to love him, and to desire to love him
more ? Wherever I go, and whichever way I
look, I see vanity and vexation written upon
all things in this world, so far as they stand in
competition with G-od ; and I see holiness to
the Lord written upon every thing, so far as it
leads me to him as my ultimate end. The
emptiness, danger, and bitterness of the world,
and the all-sufficiency, faithfulness, and good-
ness of God, have been the sum of all the ex-
periences of all my life. And shall a worldly,
backward heart overcome the teachings of na-
ture, Scripture, the Spirit of grace, and all expe-
rience ? "0 my God, love is thy great and
special gift. All good is from thee. Come
into this heart, for it cannot come up to thee.
Can the plants go up to the sun for life, or the
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 163
eye for light? Dwell in me by the Spirit of
love, and I shall dwell by love in thee. I easily
feel that through thy grace I love thy word,
thy image, thy work ; and 0, how heartily do I
love to love thee, and how long to know and
love thee more. And if ' all things be of thee,
and through thee, and to thee,' surely this love
is eminently so. It means thee, Lord. It
looks to thee ; it serves thee : for thee it moves
and seeks and sighs : in thee it trusts ; and
the hope and peace and comfort which support
me are in thee. When I was a returning
prodigal in rags, thou sawest me afar off, and
didst meet me with the caresses of thy love ;
and shall I doubt whether He that has better
clothed me, and has dwelt within me, will
entertain me in the world of love ?"
The suitableness of things below to my
fleshly nature has detained my affections too
much on earth ; and shall not the suitableness
of things above to my spiritual nature much
more draw up my love to heaven ? There is
the God whom I have sought and served. He
is also here, but veiled, and little known.
There he shines to heavenly spirits in heavenly
164 DYING THOUGHTS.
glory. There is the Saviour in whom I have
believed. He also dwelt on earth, "but clothed
in such meanness, and humbled to such a life
and death, as was to the Jews a stumbling-
block, and to the Greeks foolishness. Now he
shines and reigns in glory, above the malice
and contempt of sinners. And I shall live
there because he lives ; and in his light I shall
see light. I had here some rays of heavenly
light, but under what eclipses, and even long
and winter nights. There I shall dwell in the
city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, where
there is no night nor eclipse. There are heav-
enly hosts, in whose holy love and joyful praises
I would fain partake. I have here, though un-
seen, had some of their loving assistance ; but
there I shall be with them, of the same nature,
and the same triumphant church. There are
perfected souls : not striving, like the disciples,
who should be the greatest ; not like Noah in
the old world, or Lot in Sodom, or Abraham
among idolaters ; nor like those that " wan-
dered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being
destitute, afflicted, tormented, hid in dens and
caves of the earth ;" nor like Job on the dung-
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 165
hill, or Lazarus at the rich man's gate ; nor as
we poor bewildered sinners, feeling evil and
fearing more. Should I fear a darksome pas-
sage into a world of perfect light ? Should I
fear to go to love itself ? excellent grace of
faith which foresees, and blessed word of faith
which foreshows this world of love.
And canst thou doubt, my soul, whether
thou art going to a Grod that loveth thee ? If
the Jew r s discerned the great love of Christ to
Lazarus by his tears, canst not thou discern
his love to thee in his blood? It is not the
less precious, because shed, not for thee alone,
but for many. May I not say, I live by the
faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and
gave himself for me ? Yea, it is not so much
I that live, but Christ liveth in me. And will
he forsake the habitation which his love has
chosen, and which he has so dearly bought?
"What shall separate us from the love of Grod ?
If life has not, death shall not do it. my
soul, if leaning on Christ's breast at meat was
a token of his peculiar love to John, is not his
dwelling in thee by faith, and his living in thee
by his Spirit, a sure token of his love to thee ?
166 DYING THOUGHTS.
Did his darkly saying, " If I will that he tarry
till I come, what is that to thee?" raise a report
that the beloved disciple should not die; why
should not plain promises assure thee that thou
shalt live for ever with him that loveth thee ?
Be not so unthankful, my soul, as to doubt
whether thy heavenly Father and thy Lord
love thee. Canst thou forget the sealed testi-
monies of it ? Did I not lately repeat so many
as ought to shame thy doubt? A multitude
of thy friends have so entirely loved thee, that
thou canst not doubt of it; and did any of
them testify their love with the convincing evi-
dence that Grod has done ? Are they love itself?
Is their love so full, so firm and unchangeable
as his? I think heaven the sweeter, because
many of my old, lovely, affectionate, holy friends
are there, and I am the more willing by death
to follow them. And should it not be more
pleasing to think that my Grod and Father, my
Saviour and Comforter are there ? Was not
Lazarus in the bosom of G-od ? And yet he is
said to be in Abraham's bosom ; that is, not
there alone, but as we are all to sit down with
Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 167
God. I am often ready to entertain myself
with naming such of my friends as are now
with Christ ; but in heaven they will love me
better than they did on earth, and my love to
them will be more pleasant. But all these
sparks are little to the sun.
Every place I have lived in has its monu-
ments of divine love. Every year and hour of
my life has been a time of love. Every friend,
neighbor, and even enemy, have been the mes-
sengers and instruments of love. Every state
and change of my life, notwithstanding my sin,
have opened to me the treasures and mysteries
of love. And shall I doubt whether the same
God loves me ? Is he the God of the hills and
not of the valleys? Did he love me in my
youth and health, and will he not also in my
age and pain and sickness ? Did he love all
the saints better in their life than at their
death? My groans grieve my friends, but
abate not their love. God loved me when I
was his enemy to make me a friend. God
will finish his own work. the multitude of
mercies to my soul and body, in peace and
war, in youth and age, to myself and friends.
168 DYING THOUGHTS.
Have I lived in the experience of the love of
God to me, and shall I die doubting of it ? I
am not much in doubt of the truth of my love
to him. I love his word, works, and ways, and
would fain be nearer to him, and love him more,
and loathe myself for loving him no better.
Peter may more confidently say, " Thou know-
est that I love thee," than, "I know that thou
lovest me," because our knowledge of God's
great love is less than his knowledge of our
little love ; and without the knowledge of our
love to God, we can never be sure of his special
love to us. I am not entirely a stranger to my-
self. I know for what I have lived and labored,
and whom I have desired to please. The " God
whose I am, and whom I serve," hath loved me
in my youth, and will love me in my aged
weakness. My pains seem grievous, but love
chooses them, uses them for my good, moder-
ates them, and will shortly end them. "Why
then should I doubt of my Father's love ? Shall
pain or dying make me doubt ? Did God never
love any but Enoch and Elijah? And what
am I better than my fathers ? for a clearer,
stronger faith. Methinks Daniel's title, "a
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 169
man greatly beloved," should be enough to
make one joyfully love and trust God, both in
life and death. And have not all the saints
that title in their degrees ? What else signi-
fies their mark, " holiness to the Lord ?" It is
• but our separation to God as his peculiar, be-
loved people. And how are we separated but
by mutual love? He that is no otherwise
beloved than hypocrites and unbelievers, must
have his portion with them ; and the ungodly,
unholy, and unregenerate shall not stand in
judgment, nor see God, nor enter into his king-
dom. Upright souls are to blame for their
groundless doubts of God's love, not for their
acknowledging it, rejoicing in it, or for being
solicitous to make it sure. Love brought me
into the world, and furnished me with a thou-
sand mercies, and has provided for me, deliv-
ered, and preserved me till now ; and will it not
entertain my separate soul ? Is God like false
or insufficient friends, that forsake us in ad-
versity ?
I confess I h&ve by sin wronged love ; but
all except Christ were sinners, whom love has
purified and received to glory. " God, who is
170 DYING THOUGHTS.
rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he
loved us, even w T hen we were dead in sins,
hath quickened us together with Christ — by-
grace we are saved — and hath raised us up
together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus."
that I could love much, that have so much
forgiven ! The glorified praise " Him that loved
us, and washed us from our sins in his own
blood, and hath made us kings and priests unto
Grod." Our Father, who hath loved us, hath
given us " everlasting consolation and good hope
through grace." I know no sin which I repent
not of with self-loathing, and I earnestly beg
and labor that none of my sins may be un-
known to me. that God would bless my
accusations, that I may not be unknown to
myself, though some think me much better
than I am. " Who can understand his errors ?"
Lord, " cleanse thou me from secret faults;
keep back thy servant also from presumptuous
sins." I have an Advocate with thee, and thy
promise, that "if we confess our sins," thou
wilt " forgive them." "Wherever I have erred,
Lord, make it known to me, that my confession
may prevent the sin of others; and where I
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 171
have not erred, confirm and accept me in the
right. And since an unworthy worm has had
so many testimonies of thy love, let me not,
when thou sayest, "I have loved thee," un-
thankfully ask, "Wherein hast thou loved me ?"
Heaven is not more spangled with stars than
thy word and works with the refulgent signa-
tures of love. Thy well-beloved Son, the Son
of thy love, undertaketh the message and work
of the greatest love, was full of the spirit of
love ; which he shed abroad in the hearts of
thine elect, that the love of the Father, the
grace of the Son, and the communion of the
Spirit may be their hope and life. By his
works, sufferings, and gifts, as well as by his
comfortable word, he said to his disciples, " As
the Father loved me, so have I loved you ; con-
tinue ye in my love." Lord, how shall we
continue in it, but by the thankful belief of
thy love and loveliness, desiring still to love
thee more, and in all things to know and do
thy will, which thou knowest is my soul's
desire ?
Draw nearer, my soul, to the Lord of
love, and be not seldom and slight in thy con-
172 DYING THOUGHTS.
templation of his love and loveliness. Dwell
in the sunshine, and thou wilt know that it
is light and warm and comfortable. Distance
and strangeness cherish thy doubts. " Ac-
quaint thyself with him, and be at peace."
Look up, often and earnestly look up after
thy ascended glorified Head. Think where
and what he is, and what he is now doing for
all his own and once abased : suffering love is
now triumphant, reigning, glorified love ; and
therefore not less now than in all its tender
expressions on earth. Had I done this more
and better, and as I have persuaded others to
do it, I had lived in more convincing delights
of (xod's love, which would have turned the
fears of death into more joyful hopes, and more
earnest " desires to be with Christ," in the
arms, in the world, in the life of love, as far
better than to be here in a world of darkness,
doubts, and fears. But 0, my Father, thou
infinite Love, though my arguments be many
and strong, my heart is bad, my strength is
weakness, and I am insufficient to plead the
cause of thy love and loveliness to myself or
others. plead thy own cause, and what
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 173
heart can resist? Let it not be my word
only, but thine, that thou lovest me, even me
a sinner. Say as Christ to Lazarus, "Arise!"
Tell me as thou dost, that the sun is warm,
yea, as thou didst, that my parents and dear-
est friends loved me. Tell me, as by the con-
sciousness and works of life thou tellest me,
that thou hast given me life ; that while I can
say, Thou that knowest all things, knowest
that I love thee, I may infer, Therefore I
know I am beloved of thee. Thus let me
come to thee in the confidence of thy love, and
long to be nearer, in the clearer sight, the fuller
sense, and more joyful exercise of love for ever.
Father, into thy hand I commend my spirit.
Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. Amen.
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