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CONVERSE WITH GOD
IN 80&TOt?8EL
BY THE REV. RICHARD BAXTER.
ABRIDGED BY BENJAMIN FAWCET, M, A.
NEW YORK-C. WELLS.
1833.
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PREFACE,
If multitudes, who glory in their christian name,
were not willingly without God in the world, there
would not every where be found such melancholy
proofs of aversion to sacred retirement. Every
moment of time, and every capacity of nature,
would not so studiously be consecrated to the low
caresses of fellow worms. Nor would the natural,
the unavoidable, and therefore common disappoint-
ments resulting from mortal friendship, be received
with such horrible surprise or be felt with such ex-
quisite pain ; like the man that cried out, -when his
idols of silver and gold were stolen from him, They
have taken away my gods, and what have T more 1
Mr. Henry observes, where it is said of our
Lord, He went up into a mountain apart to pray,
" They are not Christ's followers that do not care
for being alone ; that cannot enjoy themselves in
solitude, when they have none else to converse
with, none else to enjoy but God and their own
hearts."
4 PREFACE.
Oh that all hearts may be so visited with th«
grace and Spirit of Jesus, as in this instance to make
it their highest ambition to breathe his temper, and
imitate his example ! Then the multitudes, who
have so long and ardently sought their heaven in
vain, amongst the tumults of business, or the
thoughtless circles of mirth and gayety, will seek
and find it in the recesses of devout retirement.
Then will the flames of devotion, wherever they
are now ascending, ascend yet higher, bum more
constant, pure and fervent, and produce more lively
foretastes of heavenly joy. That this small but
heavenly tract may, through a divine blessing,
contribute to answer such desirable purposes, is
the sole end of its appearance in the present form.
B. F.
CONVERSE WITH GOD.
Behold the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye
shall be scattered every man to his own, and shall
leave me alone ; and yet I am not alone, because the
father is with me.— John xvi. 32.
CHAPTER I.
FRIENDS FORSAKING US IN OUR DISTRESS.
Sect. I. The connexion of the text with the con-
text. Sect. II. A general plan of the work.
Sect. III. 1. Why Christ suffered all his disci-
ples to forsake him. Sect. IV. — VI. 2. How
we may see ourselves forsaken by our friends.
Sect. VII. 3. What an aggravated affliction it
is to be forsaken by our friends. Sect. VIII. —
X. 4. Considerations to reconcile us to such an
aggravated affliction. Sect. XI. The chapter
concludes with pointing out the happy tendency
of such considerations.
Sect. I. Christ thought fit to
foretel his disciples how they would
6 CONVERSE WITH GOD
manifest their infirmity in forsaking
him. This he did, more fully to con-
vince them that " he knew what was
in man," and that he voluntarily sub-
mitted to his being forsaken. Thus
man did least for Christ, when Christ
was doing most for man ; even mak-
ing atonement for man's reconcilia-
tion to God, and preparing the most
effectual and expensive remedy for
man's recovery. Christ foretold them
of the consequence of their infirmity,
to humble them, that they might not
think too highly of themselves for
having so freely confessed to him,
" Now we arc sure that thou know-
est all things, and needest not that
any man should ask thee ; by this we
believe that thou earnest forth from
IN SOLITUDE. 7
God, ; ' (ver. 30,) Immediately " Jesus
answered them, Do ye now believe ?
Behold the hour cometh, yea, is now
come, that ye shall be scattered every
man to his own, and shall leave me
alone, and yet I am not alone, because
the Father is with me." Though
Christ would have his servants know
his graces in them, he would also have
them know their own corruptions and
infirmities. We are apt to judge of
what we shall do hereafter, by what
we feel at present. When we feel the
stirring of some corruption, we are
ready to think ourselves destitute of
the contrary grace : And when we
feel the exercise of faith, or love, we
are ready to think we shall never
more feel the contrary corruptions.
8 CONVERSE WITH GOD
But Christ would keep us both hum-
ble and watchful, by acquainting us
with the mutability and inconstancy
of our minds. When it goes well
with us, we forget the time is coming
when it may go worse. We may say
to ourselves, as Christ to his disciples,
" Do we now believe ? It is well. But
the time may be coming, in which
we may be shook by our remaining
unbelief. Do we now rejoice in the
love of God? The time may be com-
ing when we may think ourselves
forsaken of God, and that he treats us
as enemies. Do we now pray with
fervour ? The time may come, when
we shall seem to ourselves to be pray-
erless ; or, at least, to pray in vain."
What Christ here prophesied of his
IN SOLITUDE. 9
disciples, exactly came to pass. In
the garden, when he was sweating
blood in prayer, they were sleeping.
Though " the spirit was willing, the
flesh was weak." They " could not
watch with him one hour." When
he was apprehended, "then all the
disciples forsook him, and fled."
Sect. II. In the text there are
three things that deserve our distinct
consideration. First, Christ was for-
saken by his own disciples, and left
alone. Secondly, when the disciples
left Christ, they were scattered every
one to his own. They returned to
their old habitations, acquaintance,
and employments, as if their hopes
and hearts had been almost broken,
and all their labour lost in following
10 CONVERSE "WITH GOD
Christ so lonsf. Yet the root of faith
and love, which still remained, caused
them to inquire farther of the issue,
and to meet together in secret to con-
verse with each other about these
things. Thirdly, when Christ was
forsaken of his disciples, and leftalone,
yet he was not forsaken of his Father,
nor so left alone as to be separated
from him, or from his love. Each of
these leading sentiments of the text
will be more particularly illustrated,
while in this chapter we consider the
case of friends forsaking us in our
distress ; and (Chap. 2.) of friends
taken from us by death : Then (Chap.
3.) what it is to have the presence
of God with us in solitude : and (Ch.
4.) why the presence of God in soli
IN SOLITUDE. 11
tude is desirable : To which some
concluding directions will be added
(Chap. 5.) to show how the presence
of God in solitude is attainable. The
case of friends forsaking us in our
distress, makes it proper to inquire,
Why Christ suffered all his disciples
to forsake him ; How we may see
ourselves forsaken by our friends ;
and what an aggravated affliction it
is to be so forsaken ; besides offering
some considerations, to reconcile us
to such an aggravated affliction.
Sect. III. 1. It may seem strange
to us, that Christ would suffer all his
disciples to forsake him in all his
extremity. And, I doubt not, it will
seem strange to us, when in our ex-
tremity, and even in our sufferings for
12 CONVERSE WITH GOD
€hrist, we shall find ourselves for-
saken by those we highly valued, and
with whom we were most intimate.
Providence may permit this, for such
reasons as these. Christ, while suf-
fering for sin, permitted the power and
odiousness of sin to break forth, that
it might be known he suffered not in
vain. He permitted his followers to
desert him; and thereby discover their
secret unbelief, selfishness, and un-
thankfulness, that they might know
the death of Christ was as necessary
for them, as for others ; that the dis-
ease was universal, and therefore
needed a universal remedy. It is
not Christ's intent to make his ser-
vants seem better than they are, either
to themselves or others ; or to honour
IN SOLITUDE!. 13
himself by his hiding their faults : but
to magnify his pardoning and healing
grace, by means of those sins, which
he pardons and heals. Hereby, he
brings his followers to the fuller know-
ledge of themselves. He shows them
that, which ought all their days to
keep them humble, and watchful, and
at a distance from presumption and
self-confidence. When we have con-
fessed Christ, or done him any con-
siderable service, we are apt, with the
disciples, to say "Behold, we have
forsaken all, and followed thee ; what
shall we have therefore ?" As if they
had rather been givers to Christ, than
receivers from him. But when Peter
forswears him, and the rest fly from
him, and afterwards reflect on their
14 CONVERSE WITH GOD
ingratitude and cowardice ; then they
better discern their weakness, and
where their dependence ought to be.
He also, by this means, teaches them
what they would have been, if God
had totally left them to themselves.
When our faults have hurt us, and
made us ashamed, we shall be thank-
ful for recovering grace, and not boast,
as if we had " made ourselves to dif-
fer from others." Our Lord might
also design to have no support from
man in his sufferings. It was part of
his voluntary humiliation, to be de-
prived of all earthly comforts, and to
bear affliction even from those few
that lately were faithful servants.
Thus no man could challenge to
himself the honour of contributing in
IN SOLITUDE. 15
any degree, to the redemption of the
world ; no, not so much as by en-
couraging the Redeemer. In this
way Christ might render the witness
of his disciples to him of greater au-
thority. When all their doubts were
dissipated, they would be received, as
the most impartial witness, by a
doubting world. And thus Christ
would also teach us, that the best of
men are not entirely to be trusted.
Paul lived in a time when Christians
were more self denying and steadfast
than they now are, yet he says, " At
my first answer no man stood with
me, but all men forsook me."
Sect. IY. 2. Christians expect to
be conformed to your Lord in this
part of his humiliation. Are your
16 CONVERSE WITH GOD
friends yet friendly to you ? Do not
promise yourselves an unchanging
constancy in them. Are they yet
useful to you? Expect the time when
they cannot help you. Are they
your comforters, and is their company
your delight ? Be ready for the time,
when they may become your sharpest
scourges and heart piercing griefs ;
at least, " when you shall say, We
have no pleasure in them." Have
any, or all, of them already failed you?
What wonder 7 Are they not men,
and sinners l Reprove yourselves for
your unwarrantable expectations,
and learn to know what man is. Ex-
pect some of your friends whom you
have thought sincere, to prove very
unfaithful. Are you better than Da-
IN SOLITUDE. 17
vid,\vho had an Ahithophel ; Or than
Paul, who had a Demas '? Or than
Christ, who^had a Judas ? " Because
iniquity shall abound, the love of
many shall wax cold." If pride, and
vain glory, and sensuality are unmor-
tified, such persons are not to be trust-
ed. For wealth, honour, or worldly
interest, they will part with God and
salvation ; and much more with their
best friends on earth. With Job, you
may have occasion to complain. " He
hath put my brethren far from me,
and mine acquaintance are verily
estranged from me. My kinsfolk
have failed, and my familiar friends
have forgotten me. They that
dwell in my house, and my maids,
count me for a stranger : I am an
18 CONVERSE WITH GOD
alien in their sight. I called my ser-
vant, and he gave me no answer.
I entreated him with my jnouth. My
breath is strange to my wife, though
I entreated for the children's sake of
my own body. Yea, young chidren
despised me ; I arose and they spake
against me. All my inward friends
abhorred me ; and they whom I
loved, are tamed against me." You
may be obliged, as well as David, to
say, " Yea, mine own familiar friend
in whom I trusted, which did eat of
my bread, hath lifted up his heel
against me." Those that have been
most acquainted with the secrets of
your soul, may be your betrayers.
They whom you have laid under the
strongest obligations, may prove your
IN SOLITUDE. 19
most inveterate enemies. Many faith-
ful ministers of Christ have preached
and prayed, and wept for their peo-
ple's souls; and after all have been
reproached and persecuted. Like
the patient, that being cured of a
mortal disease, sued his physician at
law, for making him sick with medi-
cines. Paul was accounted an enemy
by the Gallatians, because he told
them the truth. Ungrateful truth
makes the faithfulest preachers most
ungrateful. " I heard the defaming
of many," says Jeremiah; "fear on
every side. Report, say they, and
we will report it. All my familiars
watched for my halting, saying, per-
adventure he will be enticed, and we
shall prevail against him, and we shall
20 CONVERSE WITH GOD
take our revenge on him." Thus
must the servants of Christ be used,
in conformity to their suffering head.
Sect. V. Some that are sincere, and
whose hearts are with you, may, by
temptation, be drawn to disown you.
When malice is slandering you, tim-
orous friendship may perhaps be
silent, and afraid to take your part.
If Peter's fear can deny his suffering
Lord, wonder not that faint-hearted
friends disown us, who give them
too much occasion to do so. Why
may not we be obliged to say as Da-
vid did, " My lovers and my friends
stand aloof from my sores, and my
kinsmen stand afar off.'' Many
things may occasion sincere friends
to fall out. Paul and Barnabas may
IN SOLITUDE. 21
grow so hot as to separate from each
other. Easily can Satan, if permit-
ted, set the tinder on fire, which
he finds in the gentlest dispositions.
There are no friends so near and
dear, whom the infirmities of passion
may not either alienate from, or
render an affliction to each other.
Clashing interests may very much
interrupt friendship. See this in the
contentions of Abraham and Lot ; of
Isaac and Ishmael ; of Jacob and
Esau ; of Laban and Jacob ; of Leah
and Rachel : of Joseph and his bre-
thren : of Saul and David ; and Ziba,
Mephibosheth and David ; with many
others. It is rare to meet with a
Jonathan that will affectionately love
unto death, the man who is appointed
22 CONVERSE WITH GOD
to deprive him of a kingdom. He that
can say, " I suffer by another," or,
" I am a loser by him," thinks he has
a licence for his unfriendly thoughts
and actions. When you can gratify
the desires of the covetous, ambi-
tious, and selfish, or so cure their dis-
tempered minds, as to fill them with
perfect charity, then all the world will
be your friends. The same may be
said of difference in opinions. If
your friend is proud, it is wonderful
how he will slight you, and withdraw
his love, because you are not of his
mind. If he be zealous, he is easily
tempted to think it a part of his duty
to God to disown you, or grow negli-
gent of your friendship, because your
differing from him is, as he thinks,
IN SOLITUDE. 23
either an evidence of your neglect-
ing God, or of your contradicting the
truth of God. When all your friends
have the same intellectual complex-
ion and temperature, and their under-
standing is of the same size with
your own, then you may hope for an
uninterrupted friendship. Some of
your friends may, in their own appre-
hensions, get above you in wisdom,
wealth, or honour. Upon this, you
will grow unsuitable to them. They
will pity your weakness in not seeing
the truth, which is so clear to their
eye ; or your simplicity, for hindering
your own preferment ; and therefore
will converse, for the future, with
those of their own distinguished
rank. Some will think they have
24 CONVERSE WITH GOD
now discovered your foibles. And
indeed our defects are so many, and
our infirmities so great, that the more
men know us, the more we deserve
their pity or reproof. But this will
not excuse that neglect of friendship
and virtue, which is owing to the
pride of those, who probably overlook
much greater failings in themselves.
Some are so changeable, that the
same friends will not please them
long. Their love is a flower that
quickly withers. Novelty must feed
their slippery affections. Perhaps they
think they have got better friends.
Either they have met with those that
are more suitable, or that may be
more useful, as having more learning
wealth, or power. Some may think
IN SOLITUDE. 25
it is their duty to be shy of you un-
der sufferings. Though they must
not desert Christ, they think, for their
own preservation, they may forsake a
fellow mortal. But they forget their
Lord's interesting declaration. " In
as much as ye did it, or did it not,
to one of the least of these my breth-
ren, ye did it, or did it not to me."
Sect. 6. Some of our friends, to
cover their own unfaithfulness, will
plead that they forsake you for your
faults. Thus, by pretending zeal for
God they make a duty of their sin.
There are few crimes in the world
that are not hypocritically called by
names of piety and virtue. Some
may really mistake your case, and
think vou suffer as evil doers. So
26 CONVERSE WITH GOD
when God had taken away Job' s chil-
dren, riches, and health ; his friends
would take away the reputation and
comfort of his integrity ; and, under
pretence of bringing him to repent-
ance, they charge him with what he
was never guilty of. Censorious, false
accusing friends, cut deeper than ma-
licious, slandering enemies. Even
your most self-denying acts of obe-
dience to God, may be so misunder-
stood by your real friends, as to be
turned to your rebuke ; like David's
"dancing before the ark." Thus
friends may do the work of enemies,
yea of satan himself, " the accuser of
the brethren ;" and may wrong you
much more than open adversaries
could have done, But suppose you
IN SOLITUDE. 27
are chargeable with some real crime ;
in that case to expect your friend
should befriend your sins, or be-
have to you as if you were inno-
cent, would but show your igno-
rance of the nature and usefulness of
true friendship, and that there is too
much friendship yet subsisting be-
tween you and your sins. Even the
friends that are most faithful to you
may be utterly incapable of affording
you any real service. The greatest
and best of men are but " miserable
comforters." They may mourn over
your sickness and pains, without any
tendency to heal or ease them. —
Their ignorance may increase your
misery, by attempting your relief.
They may exasperate your oppressors
28 CONVERSE WITH GOD
while they think to speak that which
may set you free from oppression.
Their friendly mistakes may resemble
Peter's, when he gave that carnal
counsel to his Lord, " Be it far from
thee, Lord ; this suffering shall not be
unto thee." Also when he rashly drew
his sword against the officers that
came to apprehend Jesus. Love and
good meaning will not prevent the
mischiefs of ignorance and error.
Your best friends may not only be
unable to relieve you, but their suffer-
ings may greatly add to your grief.
While your troubles become theirs,
theirs will become yours, and your
own stock of sorrows be thereby in-
creased. And though your friends
are both sincere and serviceable, yet
IN SOLITUDE. 29
they must continue with you but a
little while. Perhaps God will take
away your dearest friends, and leave
you in the midst of many enemies.
If you have but one, perhaps God
will separate that one from you, ei-
ther by death, or in some remote
situation. " The godly man ceaseth,
the faithful fail from among the chil-
dren of men."
Sect. YIL 3. To be forsaken of
our friends, in such circumstances as
have been mentioned, is a greatly
aggravated affliction. They usually
forsake us in our greatest sufferings
and straits, when we have the great-
est need of them ; especially at a dy-
ing hour, when all other worldly
comforts fail. As we must leave our
SO CONVERSE WITH GOD
houses, lands, and wealth, so must
we, for the present, leave our friends.
Often they fail us, when we are most
faithful in our duty. And perhaps
they are persons of whom we de-
served best, and from whom we
might have expected most. Which
of us must not say with David, "All
men are liars ;" that is, deceitful, either
through unfaithfulness or insufficien-
cy ; that either will forsake us, or
cannot help us in time of need.
Sec. VIII. 4. In order to reconcile
our minds to such an aggravated af-
motion, let us attend to the following
considerations. As for instance ; con-
sider how this affliction sets the crea-
ture at a due distance from the Crea-
tor. All sufficiency, immutability,
If* SOLITUDE. 31
and perfect faithfulness, are proper to
Jehovah. Glorious as the sun is, we
wonder not at its setting 1 , or beingf
eclipsed; and why should we wonder
to have a friend, a pious friend, fail us
for a time, and in the hour of our dis-
tress ? Some friends will not, but all
may, if God leave them to their own
weakness. Man is not your rock.
He has no stability but what is deriv-
ed, dependent, and uncertain. Learn,
therefore, to rest, on God alone, and
lean not too confidently on any mortal.
Consider what a useful discovery this
affliction makes of the common infir-
mity of man. If any of God's servants
live in constant holiness, without any
stumbling in their way, it tempts some
self-accusing soul to think itself alto-
32 CONVERSE WITH GOD
gether graceless. But when we
read of Peter's cursing and swearing
that he new not Jesus ; and how he
and Barnabas were carried away
with dissimulation ; and of David's
unkindness to Mephibosheth, the seed
of Jonathan ; and of his vile treachery
to Uriah, a faithful and deserving sub-
ject ; we are less offended at the un-
faithfulness of our friends, and are
taught to compassionate their frail-
ty ; and also are not so hopeless,
when we ourselves have failed to
God or man. Consider how this
affliction manifests the meanness
and carnality of our self-love. We
should not discern this sin in its root,
if we did not see and taste it in its
fruits. When you have tasted the
IN SOLITUDE. 33
fruits of your friends' remaining world-
liness, selfishness, and carnal fears ;
then you will better know the odious-
ness of these vices, which thus break
through all obligations to God and
you, in a direct contradiction to the
light of conscience, and the opera-
tions of divine grace.
Sect IX. Consider this affliction
as a good remedy against over-loving
your friends. In loving God, we are
in no danger of excess, and therefore
have no need of any thing to quench,
it. In loving saints, as saints, and
purely for Christ's sake, we are not
apt to exceed. Yet our understand-
ing may mistake, by thinking saints
have more holiness than they really
have : and we are very apt to mix a
3
34 CONVERSE WITH GOD
selfish love, with that which is holy ;
and not merely to love a christian as
a christian, but to over-love him, be-
cause he is our friend. The christian
that has no special love to us, we are
apt to undervalue ; but one that en-
tirely loves us, we love above his pro-
per worth. And if we love any more
for loving us, than for loving Christ,
no wonder we are thus afflicted, to
cure us of our selfish love. O how
highly do we think of their judg-
ments, graces, and conduct, that
highly esteem us; when greater excel-
lences in another are scarcely obser-
ved ! If we exalt our friends too high
in our esteem, it is a sign that God
must cast them down. As their love
to us was the snn~e, so their unthank-
IN SOLITUDE, 35
fulness to us is the fittest remedy.
God is very jealous of our hearts,
while they inordinately love and
value any of his creatures, and will
rebuke our excess ; though the oppo-
site extreme is also odious, to be void
of natural, friendly, or social affections.
God cannot take it well to see us
dote upon dust and frailty like our-
selves, at the same time that all his
attractive goodness causes such lan-
guid love to him, that we ourselves
can scarcely feel it. If therefore he
cures us, by permitting our friends to
show us how little they deserve such
excessive love, when God himself has
so little of our love ; it is because he
is so tender of his own glory, and
merciful to his servants' souls. Con-
36 CONVERSE WITH GOD
sider also how this affliction leads us
to observe and honour the wonderful
patience of God. When our friends
forsake us in our distress, especially
if we suffer for Christ, it is God they
injure more than us ; and if he bear
with them, and forgive them upon re-
pentance, why should not we do so
who are much less injured ? The vile
ingratitude of sinners should make us
reflect, "How great and wonderful
is the patience of God, which bears
with those that abuse him, to whom
they are infinitely obliged ! And how
great is that mercy, which hath borne
with, and pardoned greater wrongs
done by myself to God, than men
have ever done to me '/' When Da-
vid remembered his sin, by which God
IN SOLITUDE. 37
was provoked to raise up that son
against him, of whom he had been
too fond, it made him easily bear the
curses and reproaches of Shimei. It
will make us bear abuse from others
to remember how ill we have be-
haved towards God, and consequently
how ill we have deserved at his
hands.
Sect. X. Consider how this affliction
puts us upon our guard, that the love
of our friends may not hinder us,
when we are called to suffer or die.
When we over- love them, it tears our
hearts to leave them ; and strongly
tempts us to betray the cause of
Christ. It is so hard a thing to be
willing to die, that it is a mercy to
have any thing removed, that makes
38 CONVERSE WITH GOD
us unwilling. The excessive love
of friends, is not the least of those im-
pediments. O how loath are many
a one to die, when they think of part-
ing with wife, or husband, or children,
or other dear friends ! And if any un-
kindness happens to arise between
such friends, then we are ready to say,
"It is time to leave the world when
my dearest friends thus forsake me !'*
This helps us to remember our dear-
est everlasting Friend, and to grieve
that we have been no truer to him,
who would not have forsaken us in
our extremity. Sometimes it makes
us so weary of the world, that with
Elijah we say, " Now, O Lord, take
away my life." Thus the unkindness
of friends is a greater help to loosen
IN SOLITUDE. 39
us from the world, and often proves a
great mercy to a departing soul : and
indeed fortifies us against other temp-
tations arising from friendship. When
an intimate friend has grown strange
and soon after turned away from
every appearance of serious religion,
I have known others convinced there-
by of the mercy of God, in making
their friend's desertion the means of
their own preservation. When hus-
bands have done this, and at the same
time have behaved inhumanly to
their wives, I have often observed,
how the poor women have been kept
from following them in their aposta-
cy ; into which other women have
been drawn, whose husbands behave
more kindly. Therefore I must still
40 CONVERSE WITH GOD
say, we are undone, if we had the dis-
posing of ourselves. We should never
be willing to have our friends forsake
us ; yet God has thereby kept many
souls from being undone for ever.
Once more, consider that our having
too much comfort in any creature, is
very unsuitable to our present state.
The work of mortification much con-
sists in having our enjoyments so far
annihilated, that they may have no
power to draw our hearts from God,
or detain us from our duty. And the
more excellent and lovely any enjoy-
ment appears to us, the less it is dead
to us, or we to it ; and the more will
it be able to hinder and ensnare us.
Sect. XI. If you seriously consider
these things, you will admire the wis-
IN SOLITUDE. 41
dom of God in leaving you undci
this kind of trial, m weaning you
from every created enjoyment, and
teaching you by his providence, as
well as by his words, to " Cease from
man, whose breath is in his nostrils ;
for wherein is he to be accounted of?"
You will not wonder, that they who
live in other sins, should be guilty of
this unfaithfulness to friends. Their
obligations to you are nothing in com-
parison with their great and manifold
obligations with to God. You know
you have more injured God your-
selves, then any man ever injured you ;
and if God bear with yon, have you
not great reason to bear with others ?
Are you not more prone to aggravate
the wrong which others do to you ?
42 CONVERSE WITH GOD
than that which ynu do to them ;
Nay, you have been much more inju-
rious to yourselves, than ever others
have been to you. Near as you are
to yourselves, yet all your enemies on
earth, or in hell, have not done you
half the hurt, that you have done
to yourselves. " Have I forfeited my
own salvation, and deserved everlast-
ing wrath, and sold myself and my
Saviour for so base a thing as sinful
pleasure, and shall I ever wonder that
another man does me some temporal
hurt ? Was my friend so near, or
so much obliged me, as myself? O
sinful soul, let thy own rather than
thy friend's treachery and neglects,
be the matter of thy wonder, thy dis-
pleasure, and complaint. And let
IN SOLITUDE. 43
thy conformity to Jesus Christ, be thy
holy ambition and delight ; not as thy
suffering nor as it is caused by men's
sin ; but as it is thy fellowship in the
sufferings of thy Lord, and caused by
his love." Our conformity to, and fel-
lowship with Christ in his sufferings, in
any remarkable degree, is the lot of
his best servants, and the highest of
their attainments in the present state ;
and is therefore, neither to be expected
with dread, nor borne with impatience
but with holy joy. And if it be so
with suffering for Christ in general,
it must be so with this particular sort
of suffering ; even to be forsaken of
our nearest and dearest friends when
we are most abused by our enemies.
44 CONVERSE WITH GOD
CHAPTER II.
FBIENDS TAKEN FROM US BY DEATH.
Sect. I. The disciples forsook their Lord for want
of self-denial. Sect. II. The great evil of selfish-
ness. Sect. Ill — VIII. 1. Consolations for
such as mourn the death of their friends. Sect.
IX — XI. and 2. For such as doubt whether hea-
ven itself will renew the friendship they have lost.
Sect. XII, XIII. or 3. Doubt whether the friend-
ship that is renewed in heaven will be so much
the more endearing.
Sect. I. We are next to consider,
why the disciples forsook their Lord,
and what they had recourse to when
they left him. The text says, " ye
shall be scattered every man to his
own." Self-denial was not perfect in
IN SOLITUDE. 45
them, and therefore selfishness pre-
vailed in the hour of temptation.
They had therefore forsaken all for
Christ. They had left parents and
families, estates and trades, to be his
disciples. But though they believed
him to be the Christ, yet they dream-
ed of a Visible kingdom, and were ani-
mated by carnal expectations of being
great men upon earth, under Christ
as a temporal prince. And therefore
when they saw him in the hands of
his enemies, under the most ignomi-
nious treatment, they concluded that
their hopes were now disappointed
and in their sudden fright seemed to
repent their having followed him.
They now begun to think that they
have lives of their own to save, and
46 CONVERSE WITH GOD
families of their own to mind, and
business of their own to do. They
that had forsook their private interest
and affairs, and were gathered toge-
ther for the sake of living in commun-
ion with Jesus Christ and one another
now return to their particular callings
and are " scattered every man to his
own."
Sect. II. Selfishness is the great
enemy of all societies, of all fidelity
and friendship. There is no trusting
any person in whom self is predomi-
nant. And where it does not reign
the remainders of it make men walk
uneven and unsteadily, both towards
God and each other. They will cer-
tainly deny God and their friends in
a time of trial, who are not able to
IN SOLITUDE. 47
deny themselves. Or rather, he that
is prevailingly selfish was never a real
friend to any, He has always some
interest of his own, which his friends
must needs contradict, or are insuffi-
cient to satisfy. His houses, lands or
money, his children, reputation, or
something which he calls his own,
will frequently be the matter of con-
tention ; and for the sake of these
things, which are so near to him,
he will cast off his nearest friend.
Contract no special friendship with a
selfish man. Put no confidence in
him, whatever friendship he may pro-
fess. He is so confined to himself
that he has no true love to spare for
others. If he seem to love a friend, it
is not as a friend, but as a servant, or
48 CONVERSE WIT& GOD
at best as a benefactor. He loves you
for himself, as he loves his money,
his horse or house ; because you
may be serviceable to him. When
you have no more capacity to serve
him, he has no more love for you.
Sect. III. Here it may be proper
to offer some advice to such as are
lamenting the death of their dearest
friends ; and doubting whether hea-
ven itself will renew such friendship,
or so much as need it ; or, if such
friendship be renewed in heaven,
whether the enjoyment of it will be
so much the more endearing.
Sect. IV. 1. They that are lament-
ing the death of their dearest friends,
may find some relief from the follow-
ing considerations. Let it be granted
IN SOLITUDE, 49
that you mourn the loss, not of a false
friend, but of one of the most sincere,
faithful and intimate. Consider, Who
deprived you of your friends ? Was
it not God ? Did not he that gave
him to you take him from you ? Did
not his Lord and owner call him
home ? Can God do anything unjust?
May he not do what he pleases with
his own? Was there any defect of wis-
dom or goodness, of justice or mercy,
in God's disposal of your friend ? Or
will you ever have rest, but in submit-
ting to the divine good pleasure ? If
your friend had lived as long as you
would have had him, you know not
what sin he might have fallen into.
God could indeed have preserved him
from sin ; but he preserves by the use
50 CONVERSE WITH GOD
of means ; and sometimes sees that
death is the best means for preserva-
tion. Had God permitted your friend
to have fallen into some scandalous
sin, might it not have been much
worse than death to him and you? So
faithful a friend might have been
shaken, like Peter, and have denied
his Lord ; and thereby have appeared
as odious in your eyes, as he had
ever been amiable. You know not
what unkindness to yourself, your
dearest friend might have been guilty
of. Alas ! there is greater frailty
and inconstancy in man than you are
aware of. How often have the hearts
of parents been broken by undutiful
children, whom in infancy, they
would much more easily have follow-
IN SOLITUDE. 51
ed to the grave ? Which of us see not
reason to distrust ourselves? And
why should we promise ourselves
more from another than from our-
selves? Had your friend lived long-
er, you know not what great ca-
lamity might have befallen him. —
When the righteous seem to perish,
and merciful men are taken away,
they are taken away from the
evil .to come. How many deaths
have I lamented, as unseasonable in
my view ; but Providence has soon
taught me, that their longer life would
have increased their misery ? If
your friend had survived, what com-
fort would he have found on earth, in
seeing and hearing such sins, as vex-
ed a righteous Lot from day to-day ;
52 CONVERSE WITH GOD
and perhaps himself at the same time
under personal affliction s, temptations,
and reproaches ? What was the
world to your friend, while he did en-
joy it 1 Was it not a place of toil
and trouble, of envy and vexation, of
enmity and poison ; of successive cares,
and fears, and griefs ; and especially
of sin ? Did he not groan under the
burden of a sinful nature ; of a distem-
pered, tempted, troubled heart ; of
languishings and weakness in every
grace ; of the rebukes of God, the
wounds of conscience, and the malice
of a wicked world ? Did you not often
join in a prayer with him, to obtain
deliverance from every burden, and
will you now grieve that he has re-
ceived the answer of prayer ') Is the
IN SOLITUDE. 53
world a place of rest, or of trouble, to
yourself ; and would you have your
friend also to be as far from rest ? If
your present circumstances are at
all easy and peaceful, you little know
what storms are near ; or how soon
you may see the days, hear the tidings,
feel the pains, and bear the burdens
which may oblige you to desire death,
and confess that a life on earth is no
felicity.
Sect. V. Do you think it is for the
hurt or good of your friend that he is
removed from hence ? It cannot be
for his hurt, unless he be in hell. And
if he be in hell, he was no fit per-
son for you to take much pleasure in
upon earth. He might have been a
fit object of your compassion, but not
54 CONVERSE WITH GOD
of your complacency. How can you
be undone for want of such company
as God will not endure in his sight ?
And if your friend is in heaven, you
should regard his good as well as
your own, and not wish him from
thence. If love teaches us to " mourn
with them that mourn, and to rejoice
with them that rejoice," can it be an
act of rational love to mourn for them
that are possessed of the highest ever-
lasting joys ?
Sect. VI. God will not honour
himself merely by one servant, but by
many. God best knows when his
work is done. When our friends
have finished what God intended
them to do, is it not time for them to
be gone, and for others to take their
IN SOLITUDE. 55
places ? God will have a succession
of his servants in the world. If Da-
vid had not died, there had been no
Solomon, nor Jehoshaphat, nor Hez-
ekiah, nor Josiah, to honour God in
the same throne. You must not have
all your mercies conveyed to you
merely by one instrument. God will
not have you confine your love only
to one of his servants. Therefore
when one has done his part for your
welfare, God will send you other mer-
cies by another hand : and it is fit he
should choose the messenger who be-
stows the gift. If you resolve to have
all your mercies in one channel, or
refuse to have any more mercies,
your case deserves not compassion,
but correction. Does vour esteem for
56 CONVERSE WITH GOD
your friend centre in him, in yourself
or in God ? If in God ; why are
you troubled to have God dispose of
him according to his unerring wis-
dom ? If in your friend ; he is now
made perfect, and therefore more love-
ly, and more fit for your joyful com-
placency. If in yourself only ; it is
just in God to take him from you to
teach you to prefer God before your-
self, and to know better the nature of
true friendship, and that your own
felicity absolutely depends upon God
alone.
Sect. VII. Did you get good by
your friend while he was with you 1
If you only loved him, and made but
little use of him for your spiritual
profit, God in justice took him from
IN SOLITUDE. 57
you. Your friend was given you, as
your candle, to work by the light of it ;
as your raiment, to wear it ; as your
food, to feed upon it. Did you receive
his counsel, and hearken to his re-
proofs, and pray and converse with
him, so as to elevate your thoughts
to God, and inflame your breast with
sacred love ?
Sect. VIII. And are you not too
forgetful where you yourself now are,
and where you must shortly be for
ever ? Where would you have your
friend, but where you must be your-
self? If he had stayed here a thousand
years, how little of that time could
you have had his company ? "When
you are almost leaving the world your-
self, would you not send your treas-
58 CONVERSE WITH GOD
ure before you! How soon shall you
go from hence to God, where you
shall find your friend, whom you
lamented as if he had been lost, and
there shall dwell with him for ever ?
O foolish mourner ! Would you not
have your friend at home ; at his
home and your's : with his Father
and your Father, his God and your
God 1 Can you miss him so much
for a day, when you have the prospect
of living with him to all eternity ?
Sect. IX. 2. Notwithstanding what
has been suggested, some may doubt
whether heaven itself will renew the
friendship they have lost. To scat-
ter such a distressing apprehension,
let the following reasons, for expecting
your friendship to revive again in
IN SOLITUDE. 59
heaven, be attended to. You cannot
justly think that the knowledge of
glorified saints shall be more imper-
fect, than their knowledge was while
they were upon earth. We shall
know much more, but not less than
before. Heaven exceeds earth in
knowledge, as much as it does in joy.
The angels in heaven have now a dis-
tinct knowledge of the least believers
on earth, and rejoice in their conver-
sion, and are styled by Christ their
angels : Therefore when we shall
be equal to the angels, we shall cer-
tainly know our nearest friends, who
will have their share with us in that
glory. Abraham knew the rich man
in hell, and the rich man knew Abra-
ham and Lazarus : Therefore we
60 CONVERSE WITH GOD
shall have as distinct a knowledge*
The two disciples knew Moses and
Elijah in the mount, whom^ they had
never seen before : Much more
shall we be made to know the saints
in heaven. Our present knowledge
shall be done away in heaven, only
in regard to its imperfections ; or,
when that which is perfect is come ;
just as we put away childish things,
when we become men. The change
is from seeing through a glass, to see-
ing face to face ; and from knowing
in part, to knowing even as we also
are known.
Sect. X. And though God be all
in all in heaven, yet we shall there,
not only know, but love and rejoice in
fellow creatures. For Christ, in his
IN SOLITUDE. 61
glorified human nature, is a creature ;
and as such, will no doubt be known
and loved by all his members, with-
out any diminution of the glory of his
divine nature. The several members
of the body of Christ will, in heaven,
be so nearly related to each other, that
they must know and love each other,
and not be unconcerned in each oth-
er's felicity. The future triumphant
state of the church is often described
in scripture, as a kingdom, the city
of God, the new Jerusalem ; each of
which implies a society. The saints
themselves are called kings ; and
it is said of them, that they " shall
judge the world, and shall judge
angels ;" they must therefore have
a distinct knowledge of the' persons
62 CONVERSE WITH GOD
and things, which are to be subjected
to their judgment. As one part of
the saints' happiness, they are to
" come from the east and west, and sit
down with Abraham, and Isaac, and
Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven ; "
and therefore shall not only know
those great patriarchs, but shall take
peculiar delight in their presence and
converse. Besides, love to saints, as
well as to God, is a grace that never
faileth.
Sect. XL God can make use of
glorified creatures, in subordination
to himself, so as to be no diminution
to his own all sufficiency. Nor must
we conceive of heaven itself as if it
had no use for fellow creatures, nor
any comfort in them. Though flesh
IN SOLITUDE. 63
and blood shall not enter into that
kingdom, but onr bodies shall be
spiritual : yet, at the resurrection,
God shall give to every soul its
own body and a body distinct from
the soul ; which must therefore have
a felicity suited to a glorified body.
And though it is said of know-
ing Christ after the flesh, now hence-
forth know we him no more, it can
only mean, that a carnal knowledge
shall be turned into a spiritual. Thus
the excellence of our knowledge of
Christ in heaven, resembles the glory
of our heavenly bodies, which shall
be made to shine forth, as the sun in
the kingdom of our Father.
Sect. XII. 3. And if any should
still doubt, whether the friendship that
64 CONVERSE WITH GOD
is renewed in heaven, will be so much
the more endearing, let such take the
following answer. If you should
have all your happiness immediately
and solely in God, you will sustain no
loss. Or if you should have as much
happiness in other friends, whom you
never knew before, that will not di-
minish your enjoyment of your for-
mer friends. But most probably
your love to glorified saints will dis-
tinctly regard them, both for their ho-
liness, and for their relation to you,
As holiness is the chief excellence, no
doubt you will love those most, that
will have most of God and glory,
though you never knew them upon
earth. And amongst those whom
you knew upon earth, you will cer-
IN SOLITUDE. 65
tainly love them best, whom God
made use of for your greatest good,
and who were the instruments of
your conversion and salvation. It
is manifest that our benefactors shall
have our peculiar regard in heaven ;
because we shall there for ever remem-
ber, love, and praise " him that loved
us, and washed us from our sins in
his own blood, and made us kings
and priests unto God." And there-
fore we shall also remember others
with love and thankfulness, in just
subordination to Christ, and in pro-
portion as they were our friends for
Jesus' sake.
Sect. XIII. The never failing )a-
ture of love is a principal motive to
kindle and increase it. Thus G >d
5
06 CONVERSE WITH GOD
draws us to every holy duty, by show*
ing us the excellence of that duty,
and it is no small excellence to say 7
that it never fails. They therefore that
think they shall have no personal
knowledge of each other, nor person-
al love to each other, in heaven, take
the most effectual course to destroy
in their souls all holy love to those
especially that are of the household
of faith. I am not able to love much,
where I foresee I am not to love lonsr.
I cannot love an inn , so well as my own
house ; because I am sooner to leave
it. I must love my Bible, better than
books of law, or physic : because it
leads to eternity. I must love holi-
ness in myself and others better than
food and raiment, or riches and lion-
IN SOLITUDE. 67
ours, or beauty and pleasures ; be-
cause that must be loved for ever;
while the love of these is as transitory,
as the things themselves. I must con-
fess, as the experience of my own soul,
that the expectation of loving my
friends in heaven, principally kindles
my love to them on earth. If I
thought I should never know them,
and consequently never love them,
after this life is ended, I should in
reason number them with temporal
things, and love them as such, at the
same time allowing for the excellent
nature of grace. But I now delight-
fully converse with my godly friends,
in a firm persuasion that I shall con-
verse with them for ever ; and I take
comfort in those of them that are dead
68 CONVERSE WITH GOD
or absent, as believing that I shall
shortly meet them in heaven, and
love them, I hope, with a heavenly-
love, as the heirs of heaven, even
with a love that shall there be per-
fected, and more fully and for ever
exercised.
IN "SOLITUDE. 69
CHAPTER III.
THE PRESENCE OF GOD WITH US IN SOLITUDE.
Sect. I. What the presence of God is. Sect. II.
How God is present with us. Sect. HI. He is
withus, 1, as a gracious Father; Sect. IV. 2, to
do us good ; Sect. V. and 3, to converse with
us. Sect. VI. Like Christ we shall live upon
God when forsaken by men. Sect. VII. When
are we necessarily called into solitude. Sect.
VIII. When is solitude sinful. Sect. IX.— XI.
Considerations to prevent voluntary and unne-
cessary solitude.
Sect. I. To the reasons already as-
signed for bearing the loss of friends
this may be added, that it gives us the
loudest call to retire from all the world,
and to converse with God himself, and
affords us some assistance in such di-
70 CONVERSE WITH GOD
vine converse. But this brings us to
the third part of the text, where our
Lord says, " And yet I am not alone,
because the Father is with me." He
that is with the King, is not alone,
though forsaken by all others. He
on whom the sun shines is not with-
out light, though all his candles are
put out. If God be our God, he is
our all. And if God be our all, we
shall not, while he is with us, find the
want of creatures. For, He is with
us, who is every where, and therefore
is never from us. He is with us, who
is Almighty, and therefore we need
not fear what man can do unto us. He
can deliver us, when and how he
pleases, from every danger and dis-
tress. He is with us, who is infinitely
IN SOLITUDE. 71
wise, to preserve us even from our own
folly, as well as from our enemy's sub-
tlety. He knows what to do with us,
in what paths to lead us, and what
condition is best for us. He is with
us, who is infinitely good ; alone fit
to be the perpetual delight of our souls.
There is nothing in him to disaffect,
or discourage us. We may love him,
without fear of over loving. He is
with us, who is intimately related to
us. He most dearly loves us, and
will never withhold any thing from
us that is for our real good
Sect. II. This is He that is with us,
when all have left us. But as to the
manner how he is with us, let us
more particularly observe; He is with
us, by his gracious fatherly presence ;
72 CONVERSE WITH GOD
sufficiently to do us good ; and enter-
tain us with his holy converse.
Sect. III. 1. God is with us by his
gracious fatherly presence ; and not
merely as he is every where, by his
essential presence. We are in his
family, attending on him, as the eyes
of servants look unto the hand of their
masters. As his children, we are ever
with him, and all that he hath is ours;
that all that is fit to be communicated
to us. When we awake, we should
still be with him. When we go
abroad, we should behave as always
before him. Our life and works
should be a walking with God.
Sect. IV. 2. God is always with us
sufficiently to do us good. Though
Ave have none else to care for us ; yet
IN SOLITUDE. 73
he will never cast us out of his care,
but bids us cast all our care upon him,
and promises that he will care for us.
Though we have none else to pro-
vide for us, our heavenly Father
knoweth all the things we need, and
will make the best provision. Though
we have none else to defend us, he is
our sure defence ; the rock to which
we fly, and upon which we are sure-
ly built. He gathers us to himself,
even as a hen gathereth her chickens
under her wings. And while love is
thus protecting us, we may well say,
the Father is with us. Though we
have none else to support us when we
are weak ; yet his grace is sufficient
for us ; for his strength is made per-
fect in weakness. Though we have
74 CONVERSE WITH GOD
none to teach us, and resolve our
doubts ; yet the Master of assemblies
is with us, and will guide us into all
truth. Though we have none else to
comfort us in darkness and distress ;
yet, like Hagar in the wilderness, we
shall have reason to say, " Thou God
seest us." Though all our friends,
like Job's, turn our enemies, and add
affliction to our affliction ; yet he says,
u hitherto shall ye come, but no fur-
ther, and here shall your proud waves
be stayed." Though we say with Da-
vid, " We looked on our right hand,
and beheld, but there was no man that
would know us; refuge failed us; no
man cared for our souls ; yet we may
add, as he does, " O Lord, thou art
my refuge, and my portion in the land
IN SOLITUDE. 75
of the living." Though like David
we also complain j "Our enemies speak
evil of us, whisper together against
us, and desire our hurt ; yet we may
share his consolation and say, " Thou,
Lord, upholdest us in our integrity,
and settest us before thy face for ever."
Though friends be far off; yet "the
Lord is nigh unto them that are of a
broken heart, and saveth such as be of
a contrite spirit. 1 ' Thus God is with us
when men are against us, or far from
us. His people find by happy experi-
ence that they are not alone. "His
hand is with them to keep them from
evil, that it may not grieve them, but
work together for their good." He is
" their hiding-place, to preserve them
from trouble; surely the floods of
76 CONVERSE WITH GOD
great waters shall not come nigh un-
to them ; he shall compass them about
with songs of deliverance.
Sect. Y. 3. God is also with us, to
entertain us with his holy converse.
Wherever our friends are, God is still
at hand to be the most profitable,
honourable, and delightful subject of
our meditations. There is enough
in him to employ all the faculties of
our souls. A person in a well fur-
nished library, or indeed in the vari-
ous volume of the visible creation,
may excellently engage his thoughts
many years together ; but all would
be nothing, unless God was the sense
of books and creatures, and the sub-
stance of all these noble studies. He
that is alone, and has only God him-
IN SOLITUDE. ft
self to study, need never want matter
for his meditation. Nor need he
want matter of discourse, who has
God to talk of;' though he has not
the name of any other friend to men-
tion. He has no want, either of
work, or pleasure, who can spend his
solitary hours in the believing con-
templations of eternal love, and of all
the divine attributes and works.
"What delightful converse then, may
a serious Christian have with God,
alone ! He is always present, always
at leisure to be spoke with, always
easy of access ! He has no interest
that will clash with our happiness !
He never mistakes our meaning, or
our character ! If we converse with
men, their passions and interests, their
78 CONVERSE WITH GOD
errors and weaknesses, render the
trouble so great, and the benefit so
small, that many have become there-
by weary of the world, and have spent
the rest of their time in deserts. In
proportion, indeed, as any thing of
God appears in men, their converse
is excellent and delightful. But there
is so much of vanity and sin in all of
us, as exceedingly darkens our light,
and damps the pleasure, and blasts
the profit of mutual converse. How
often have I been delighted in God,
when I have found most deceit and
darkness in the world ! How often
has he comforted me, when it was
not in man to do it ! How often has
he relieved and delivered me, when all
other help failed me ! Looking to him,
IN SOLITUDE. 79
has been my stay and rest, when the
creature has been a bruised reed, or as
a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint,
Sect. VI. As followers of Christ,
let us endeavour to imitate him in this,
to live upon God, when men forsake
its ; and to be persuaded, that while
God is with us, we are not alone, nor
forsaken, Not that we are therefore
to undervalue our useful friends, nor
be unthankful for so great a blessing
as a goodly friend, nor be negligent
in improving the company and help
of such. Two are better than one.
The communion of saints is a mercy
highly to be esteemed ; and the under-
valuing of it, is at least a sign of de-
clension in the spiritual life. Nor
are we, on any pretence, to slight our
80 CONVERSE WITH GOD
friends, and disoblige them, or neglect
any duty that we owe them, or any
means necessary to the regular con-
tinuance of their friendship. Nor
must we, without cause, retire from
human society into solitude. To be
weary of Conversing with men, is of-
ten connected with a weariness of Our
duty. A voluntary retirement into
solitude, when God does not call or
drive us thither, is but retiring from
the place or work which God has ap-
pointed us; and consequently a re-
tiring rather from God, than to God.
Like some idle servants that think
they should not work so hard, be-
cause it is but worldly business ; and
think their masters deal not religious-
ly by them ; unless they allow them to
IN SOLITUDE. 81
neglect their labour, that they may-
spend more time in serving God : as if
it were not serving God to be faithful
to their masters' service.
Sect. VII. It must be acknowledged
that very holy persons have lived in a
state of retirement from human con-
verse. There are several circumstan-
ces in which this may become a duty.
As for instance : When persecution
leaves us no opportunity of serv-
ing or honouring God in any other
situation. When natural infirmity,
or any other accident, renders a per-
son less serviceable to God and his
church in society, than in solitude.
When a person has committed a sin
of such a scandalous nature, that
though he be truly penitent for it, no
(5
82 CONVERSE WITH GOD
particular church can be satisfied to
receive him into full communion.
When some peculiar temptations can
after frequent trials, be no otherwise
effectually resisted but by refraining
from human converse. Also, when a
person by age or sickness, finds him-
self so near to death, that his actual
preparations for it will be greatly
promoted by solitude.
Sect. Yin. But when retirement
from human converse has no such
necessary call, it usually proceeds
from some vicious distemper ; perhaps
from cowardice, when the soldiers of
Christ, for fear of suffering, hide their
heads instead of confessing him before
men . Or from i ndolence and weariness
of duty, when slothful and unprofita-
IN SOLITUDE. 83
ble servants hide their Lord's talents.
For it is easier to ran away from our
work, than it is to do it ; and to go
out of the reach of ignorance, malice
contradiction, and ungodliness, than
to encounter and conquer them by
the word of truth, and a life of holi-
ness ; and to hide ourselves in some
wilderness or cell, whilst others are
fighting the battles of the Lord. Or
it may be owing to mere impatience.
When we cannot bear the frowns,
and scoffs, and violence of the ungod-
ly, we fly from such trials, which we
ought to overcome by patience. Or
it may proceed from humour and
discontent with our condition . Many
retire from human converse to gratify
their peevish resentment, expecting to
84 CONVERSE WITH GOD
find that in privacy, which they could
not in public, nor is to be found any
where on earth. Sometimes it pro-
ceeds from melancholy, which is vex-
ed in company, and indulges its own
sickly imagination, by living, like the
man possessed, amongst the tombs.
And sometimes it proceeds from pride
and self-ignorance. If we think much
better of ourselves than of others, we
shall despise their converse. On the
contrary, we should consider what
proud, worldly, selfish, and disordered
hearts we are like to carry with us
into solitude, and that the nearest en-
emy is the worst, and the nearest trou-
ble the greatest.
Sect. IX. Thus many are led into
solitude by their infirmities or vices ;
IN SOLITUDE. 85
and if they live where popish vanity-
may seduce them, they will perhaps
imagine, that they are serving God,
and entering into perfection, when
they are but obeying their sinful in-
clinations. The duties of a public
life are undoubtedly more in number,
greater in weight, and of more excel-
lent tendency to the honour of God,
and the good of society, than the
duties of retirement. " A good man,"
says Seneca, "is a common good.
Nor can any thing be a common good
except every one has some share in
it." Therefore, to prevent the evil
of voluntary and unnecessary soli-
tude, let the following considerations
be attended to. As for instance :
While you do good but to few, and
86 CONVERSE WITH GOD
live almost to yourselves, you are too
little promoting the honour of the
Redeemer and his kingdom in the
world, and too little subserving the
design of his death and resurrection.
You will live in the greatest deficien-
cy of the grace of charity, and there-
fore in a low and very undesirable
state. You will want the communion
of saints, the benefit of public or-
dinances, and the edifying gifts and
graces of others. In proportion to
your doing so little good to others
you will have the least comfort your-
selves. They have usually the most
peace and comfort in themselves that
are the most profitable to others.
" You must live for others, if you
would live yourself," says Seneca;
IN SOLITUDE. 87
u for we can never be properly said'
to live well, when all our attention.
is fixed upon ourselves." O the de-
light that there is in doing good to
many ! None know it that have
not tried it. Not because such delight
is owing to merit, but to the pleasing
of God, and to the sweet and amiable
nature of goodness itself, and to the
efficacy of divine promise, and because
we receive by communicating, and be-
cause charity makes all the good we
do to another, to be to us as our own.
Sect. X. Considering also, how
dark and partial we are, and how
heedless we are of ourselves, and with
what difficulty we get or maintain
acquaintance with our hearts, we so
much the more need the eye of others.
88 CONVERSE WITH GOD
Even an enemy's eye may be useful,
though malicious ; and may do us
good, while it intends evil. "An evil,"
says Barnard, "which none sees, none
reproves ; and where there is no fear of
being reproved the tempter will be
the more bold and sin will be prac-
tised with less hesitation." It is hard
to know the spots in our own faces,
when we have neither glass nor
beholder to acquaint us with them.
" Solitude," says Chrysostom, "is the
cover of all vices." In company this
cover is laid aside, and vice being
more naked, is more ashamed. Be-
holders occasion the shame, which
solitude is not acquainted with ; and
it is a piece of impenitency, not to be
ashamed of sin. And we are for the
IN SOLITUDE. 89
most part so weak and sickly, that we
are unable to subsist without the help
of others. God has left some impo-
tency, insufficiency, and necessity up-
on all, which should keep all men
sociable and make them acknowledge
their need of others, and be thankful
for their assistance, and be ready
to do the good to others, which they
would have others do to them.
Sect. XI. In privacy, pride will
have great advantage, and repentance
great disadvantage. " Any person,"
as Cassianus observes, " may think
himself patient and humble, as long
as he keeps out of company, but his
depraved nature will soon appear,
whenever it meets with any provoca-
tion." We cannot easily know what
90 CONVERSE WITH GOD
sin or grace is in us, if we have not
such trials as are not to be found in
solitude. Flying from the observa-
tion and judgment of others, is a kind
of self-accusation ; as if we confessed
ourselves to be so bad, that we cannot
stand the trial of the light. " A good
conscience," says Seneca, " appears
to the multitude; but a bad con-
science is perplexed with anxious
thoughts, even in solitude. If what
you do, be truly good, let all men
know it : If it be wicked, it is in
vain to conceal it from others, while
you know it yourself. And if you
despise this single witness, how great
is your misery !" Solitude is too
much like death to be desirable. He
that does good is alive ; but he is dead
IN SOLITUDE. 91
that is useless. " He," says Seneca,
lives indeed, who is " serviceable to
many. Numbers feel that he has life ;
while they that lie hid in stupid inac-
tivity, even anticipate their own death.
And it is the most culpable death, and
therefore the worst, to have life, and
not to use it. Once more consider, that
the nearest resemblance to heaven is a
life of holy communion. In the heav-
enly Jerusalem none shall be solitary
but all the members shall, in perfect
harmony, love and praise their Maker
and Redeemer.
92 CONVERSE WITH GOD
CHAPTER IV.
WHY THE PRESENCE OP GOD IN SOLITUDE IS
DESIRABLE.
Sect. I. Solitude is not to be feared, but improved.
Sect. II. Improvement of solitude panted after.
Sect. III. 4. If God is with us in solitude, we
have 1, the maker, ruler and disposer of all things
with us. Sect. V. 2, to whom we are absolute-
ly devoted. Sect. VI. 3, who best loves us.
Sect. VII. 4, whose love is more to us than the
love of all the friends in the world. Sect. VIII.
— IX. 5, with whom our greatest business lies.
Sect. X. 6, with whom we may converse with-
out reserve or interruption. Sect. XI. and 7,
with whom we must live for ever.
Sect. I. If God calls us, into soli-
tude, or if men forsake us, we may
rejoice in this, that we are not alone,
because the Father is with us. Fear
IN SOLITUDE. 93
not such solitude, but be ready to im-
prove it, if you be cast upon it. If
God be your God, reconciled to you
in Christ, and his spirit be in you,
you are provided for solitude, and
need not fear if all the world should
cast you off. If you be banished, im-
prisoned, or leftalone, it is but a relax-
ation from your greatest labours, a
cessation of your sharpest conflicts,
and your removal from a multitude
of great temptations. Though you
may not cowardly retreat, or run
away, from the sight of danger ; yet
if God will dispense with you, and
let you live in greater peace and safe-
ty, you have no cause to murmur
A fruit tree, that grows by the high-
way side, seldom keeps its fruit to
04 CONVERSE WITH GOD
ripeness, within the reach of so many
passengers. Even Seneca could say,
" I never bring so good a temper out
of company, as I took into it. What
J had been regulating, is put out of
order. What I had banished from
my mind, gains admittance again.
Thus I receive great hurt from having
much company." How many vain
and foolish words corrupt the minds
of those that converse with an ungod-
ly world ; while solitude is free from
such temptations ! In solitude, you
breathe not in so corrupt an air ; you
hear not the speeches which offend
piety, modesty, and charity ; not the
complaints of the discontented ; noi
the bitter words of the angry ; nor the
wranglings of the contentious ; nor
IN SOLITUDE. 95
the slanders and reproaches of the
malicious ; nor the revilings of the
ungodly cast upon the righteous;
nor how the erroneous artfully corrupt
the minds of the unwary ; nor the
distractions and clamours, too com-
mon in religious disputes ; nor are
pained with the oaths and blasphemies
of the wicked, the imprudences of the
weak, the persecutions of enemies, or
the falling out of friends. In your
solitude with God, you will not see
the cruelty of proud oppressors ; nor
the prosperity of the wicked, to excite
your envy ; nor the adversity of the
righteous, to stir up your grief ; nor
worldly pomp, to dazzle you ; nor
fading beauty, to entice you ; nor
wasting calamities, to afflict you. As
96 CONVERSE WITH GOD
you lose the help of your gracious
friends, so you are freed from the effects
of their peevishness, and other man-
ifold imperfections. In a word you
are there half delivered from the vani-
ty and vexations of the world. And
were it not that you are yet unde-
livered from yourselves, and your
own depraved hearts, what felicity
would your solitude be !
Sect. II. Alas, we cannot outrun
our own diseases ; we must carry with
us into solitude the remains of our
corrupted nature ; our dead and dull,
our selfish and earthly, our impatient
and discontented minds ; and what is
worst of all, our lamentable weakness
of faith and love, our strangeness to
God and heaven, and backwardness
IN SOLITUDE. 97
to the things of eternal life ! "O
that I could escape these, though I
were in the hands of the most cruel
enemies ! O that such a heart could
be left behind ! To outrun it, how
gladly would I quit house, and land,
and honour, and all sensual delights !
that I knew the place, where there
is none of this darkness, nor disaffec-
tion, nor distance from God ! O that
1 could find it ! O that I might dwell
there, though I should never more see
the face of mortals, nor ever hear a
human voice, nor ever taste the de-
lights of flesh ! Alas, foolish soul,
such a place there is, that has all this,
and more than this ; but it is in par-
adise, not in the wilderness ; it is
above with Christ, not here upon
7
98 CONVERSE WITH GOD
earth ! And am I yet so loath to die 1
Am I yet no more desirous of the bless-
ed day, when I shall be unclothed of
flesh and sin ? O death what an ene-
my art thou even to my soul, by
frighting me from the presence of my
Lord, and hindering my desires and
willingness to be gone ? This is
wronging me much more, than by
laying my flesh to rot in darkness.
Fain would I know God, and love
and enjoy him more. But O this
hurtful love of present life ! O this
unreasonable fear of dying ! " O
wretched man that I am ! Who shall
deliver me from this body of death ?"
From this carnal unbelieving heart,
that can sometimes think more de-
lightfully of a wilderness than of
IN SOLITUDE. 99
heaven ? That can seek after God in
desert solitude, among birds, and
beasts, and trees ; and yet is so back-
ward to be loosed from flesh, that
I might find him, and enjoy him
in the world of glory ? Can I ex-
pect that heaven should come down
to earth, and that the Lord of glory
should remove his court, and either
leave the retinue of his celestial cour-
tiers, or bring them all down into this
simple world, to satisfy my fleshly
mind ? Or can I expect the transla-
tion of Enoch, or the chariot of Eli-
jah ? Is it not enough that my Lord
has conquered death, and sanctified
the passage, and prepared the place of
my perpetual abode ?- Well ! Though
a wilderness be not heaven, it shall
100 CONVERSE WITH GOD
be swee. and welcome for the sake of
heaven, if from thence I may but
have a clearer prospect of heaven ;
and if, by retiring from the crowd and
noise of folly, I may but be better
disposed to converse above, and to use,
alas, my too weak and languid faith,
till it be exchanged for the beatific
vision. May there but be more' of
God, readier access to him, more fla-
ming love, more heart-comforting in-
timations in his favour, in a wilder-
ness than in a city, in a prison than
in a palace ; let that wilderness be my
city, and that prison my palace, as
long as I abide on earth. If, in soli-
tude, I may have Enoch's walk with
God, I shall in due season have such
a translation, as will brinsr me to the
IN SOLITUDE. 101
same felicity which he enjoys ; and
in the mean time, as well as after, it
is no disadvantage, if by mortal eyes
I am seen no more. If the chariot of
contemplation will, in solitude, raise
me to more believing affectionate con-
verse with heaven, than I could ex-
pect in tumults and temptations, it
shall reconcile me to solitude, and
make it my paradise on earth, till an-
gels, instead of Elijah's chariot, shall
convey me to the presence of my glo-
rified Jesus."
Sect. III. Is it grievous to you to
be alone, because you have been used
to much company? Consider, that
company may so abuse you, that it
may be more grievous to you not to
be alone. You will not wish for the
102 CONVERSE WITH GOD
society of wasps and serpents ; and
even bees have such stings, that their
honey may be bought too dear. But
can you say you are alone, while yon
are with God ? Is his presence no-
thing to you ? Does it not signify more
than the company of all the men in
the world? There can be no want of
man when we can speak with God.
And were it not that God is here re-
vealed to us in a glass, and that we
are conversing with God in man,
human converse would be of little
worth. If you suggest that solitude is
disconsolate to a sociable mind, think
again, that the most desirable society
is no solitude. If God be nothing to
you, you are not a Christian, but an
atheist. If God be God to you, he is
IN SOLITUDE. 103
your all in all, and then should not
his presence be instead of all ? O that
I might get one step nearer to God,
though I receded many from all the
world ! O that I could find that place
on earth, where a soul may have
nearest access to him, and the fullest
knowledge and enjoyment of him,
though I never more saw the face of
friends ! On these terms I should
cheerfully say, with my blessed Sav-
ior, " I am not alone because the Fa-
ther is with me ;" and not without
having the best reasons to assign for
saying so. For if God be with me,
the maker, ruler and disposer of all
things is with me ; he is with me, to
whom I am absolutely devoted ; who
loves me best ; whose love is more to
104 CONVERSE WITH GOD
me than the love of all my friends in
the world ; with whom my greatest
business lies ; with whom I may con-
verse without reserve or interruption ;
and with whom I must live for ever.
Sect. IV. 1. If God be with me, the
maker, ruler, and disposer of all things
is with me. So that in him all things
are virtually with me. I have that in
gold and jewels, which I seem to want
in silver, lead, and dross. I can want
no friend, if God vouchsafes to be my
friend. I can enjoy no friend, if God
be my enemy. If God be reconciled
unto me, I need not fear the greatest
enemy. I shall not miss the light of
a candle, if I have this blessed sun.
The creature is nothing but what it is
from, and in God ; and as it discovers
IN SOLITUDE. 105
him, and helps the soul to know him,
serve him, or draw nearer to him.
As it is the sinner's idolatry to thirst
after the creature in the neglect of God,
thereby making the world his God ; so
it approaches to the same aggravated
sin, when we lament the loss of crea-
tures more than God's displeasure. If
I am under the wrath of God, I have
so much greater cause for lamentation
than for the loss, or absence, or frowns
of mortals, as should almost make me
forget that there is such a thing as
man to be regarded. But if God be
my friend in Christ, I have so much
to think of with delight and compla-
cency of soul, as makes it extremely
absurd inordinately to lament the ab-
sence of a worm, while I have his
106 CONVERSE WITH GOD
love and presence, who is all in all.
If God cannot content me, and be
enough for me, how is he then my
God 1 Or how shall he be my heaven
and everlasting happiness 7
Sect. Y. 2. If God be with me, he
is with me to whom I am absolutely
devoted. I am wholly his, and have
acknowledged his interest in me, and
long ago disclaimed all usurpers, and
penitently and unreservedly resigned
myself to him. Where should I dwell
but with him who is my owner, and
with whom I have made the most
solemn covenant that ever I made ?
With whom should a servant dwell,
but with his master ? Or a wife, but
with her husband 7 Or children, but
with their Father ? lam nearer re-
IN SOLITUDE. 107
lated to my God and Saviour than to
any other relation in the world. I
have renounced all the world, as it
stands in competition or comparison
with my God. How shall I " hate
father and mother, brother and sister,
and wife and children, for his sake,"
if I cannot spare them, or be without
them, to enjoy him ? To hate them,
is but to use them as men do hated
things ; that is, to cast them away with
contempt, so far as they would alienate
me from Christ, that I may cleave to
him, and be satisfied in him alone. I
am now married to Christ ; and with
whom should I delight to dwell, but
with him who has taken me into so
near a relation ? " O my dear Lord,
hide not thou thy face from an un-
108 CONVERSE WITH GOD
kind, and unworthy sinner ! Let me
but dwell with thee, and see thy face,
and feel the gracious tokens of thy
love : and then, if thou seest it best
for me, let me be cast off by all the
world : or, let all other friends be
where they will, so that my soul may
but be with thee ! For thy sake, I
have agreed to forsake all, and I re-
solve by thy grace to stand to this
agreement."
•Sect. VI. 3. If God be with me, he
is with me who loves me best. The
love of all the friends on earth is no-
thing to his love. How plainly hath
he declared his love to me, in the
strange condescension, the sufferings,
death, and intercession of his dear
Son ! In the communications of his
IN SOLITUDE. 109
Spirit, the operations of his grace,
and the near relations into which he
has brought me ! In the course of
his providences, by many and won-
derful preservations and deliverances,
and by the conduct of his wisdom
through a life of mercies ! What love
appears in his precious promises, and
in the glorious provisions he has made
for me with himself to ah eternity !
u O my Lord, I am ashamed that thy
love is so much lost ; that it has no
better return from an unkind, un-
thankful heart ; that I am no more
delighted in thee, and swallowed up in
the contemplation of thy love. I can
contentedly let go all others, for the
converse of some one bosom friend,
as Jonathan was to David ; and can
110 CONVERSE WITH GOD
I not much more be satisfied in thee
alone ! All men delight most in the
company of those that love them best ;
when they seek satisfaction, it is not
with the multitude, but in the con-
verse of their dearest friends. And
who, blessed God, should be so dear
to me as thyself? Did not my un-
thankful heart basely neglect thy
love, I should never be so unsatisfied
in thee, but should heartily say,
1 Whom have I in heaven but thee ?
And there is none upon earth that I
desire besides thee.' Though not
only my friends, but ' my flesh and
my heart fail, yet thou, Lord, wilt be
the strength of my heart, and my por-
tion for ever.' Therefore how far so-
ever I am from man, ' it is good for me
IN SOLITUDE. Ill
to draw near to thee.' O let me dwell
there, where thou wilt not be strange,
1 because thy loving kindness is better
than life ! In the multitude of my
thoughts within me, let thy comforts
delight my soul !' Let me dwell as in
thy family, and when I awake, let me
be still with thee ! Let me go no
whither, but where I am still follow-
ing thee. Let me do nothing, but thy
work ; nor serve any other, but when
I may truly call it a serving thee !
Let me hear nothing but thy voice ;
and let me know thy voice, by what-
ever instrument thou shalt speak !
Let me never see any thing but thy-
self, and the glass that represents thee,
and the books in which I may read
thy name ! Whether in company or
112 CONVERSE WITH GOD
in solitude, let 'me be continually with
thee,' and so thou vouchsafe to ' hold
me by my right hand, and guide me
with thy counsel, and afterwards re-
ceive me to thy glory ! ' "
Sect. VII. 4. It God be with me,
I shall be with him, whose love is
more to me than the love of all the
friends in the world. Their love
may perhaps afford me some little
comfort, as it flows from his ; but his
love is that only upon which I live.
His love gives me life and time,
health and food, books and understand-
ing, provision and the temperate use
of it, friends and the blessings they
communicate. Sun, earth, and air,
are not so useful and necessary to me,
as his love. The love of all my friends
IN SOLITUDE. 113
cannot heal my sicknesses, nor pardon
the smallest of my sins, nor assure
me of God's forgiveness, nor restore
the health of my soul, nor give last-
ing peace to my troubled conscience,
nor banish the fears of death, nor se-
cure my passage to everlasting life.
Death will be death still, and danger
will be danger still, when all my
friends have done their best. But my
God is an all-sufficient friend. He
can prevent my sickness, or rebuke
and cure it ; or make it so good for
me, that I shall thank him for it. He
can blot out my transgressions, and
forgive all my sins, and justify me
when the world and my own con-
science condemn me. He can teach
me to believe, repent and pray; to hope,
8
114 CONVERSE WITH GOD
suffer, and overcome . He can quiet my
soul in the midst of trouble, and give
me a well grounded everlasting peace,
and a joy that no man can take from
me. He can deliver me from all dis-
tempers and corruptions of my fro-
ward heart, and both ease and secure
me in the painful war which is daily
maintained in my own breast. He
can make it as easy a thing to die, as
to undress and go to bed. He can
strip death of its terrible aspect, and
with a mild and comfortable voice can
preach to me the last and sweetest
sermon, even what Jesus preached on
the cross; " Verily I say unto thee, to-
day shalt thou be with me in paradise."
And is this the difference between the
love of man and of God ? And do I
IN SOLITUDE. 115
yet lament the loss of man ? And
am I yet so backward to converse with
God, and to be satisfied in his love
alone ? " Ah ! my God, how justly
mayst thou withhold that love, which
I thus undervalue ; and refuse that
converse, which I have first refused ?
How justly mayest thou turn me over
to man, to sinful man, whose converse
I so much desire, till I have learned,
by dear bought experience, the differ-
ence between an earthly and a
heavenly friend !" Have I not often
enough found what man is in a time
of trial ! Have I not been told it
over and over, and told it to the quick,
by deceitful and selfish friends ; by
proud and conceited friends ; by pas-
sionate and quarrelsome friends ; by
116 CONVERSE WITH GOD
tender, faithful, but unable friends 1
How often have I found that human
friendship is a sweet addition to our
wo ; a beloved calamity; an afflic-
tion which nature will not be
without ? Not because nature loves
evil, nor is wholly deceived in its
choice ; (for there is good in friend-
ship, and delight in holy love ;) but
because the good, which is here ac-
companied with so much evil, is the
beginning of a more high and dura-
ble friendship, and points us to the
blessed society and converse which
we shall have with Christ in the
heavenly Jerusalem. But how much
better have I found the friendship of
the all-sullicient God ! His love has
not only pitied, but relieved me. He
IN SOLITUDE. 117
has not only been afflicted, as it were,
in my afflictions, but has seasonably,
powerfully, and sweetly delivered me.
My burdened mind has been eased by
his love, which was but more burden-
ed by the fruitless love of all my
friends. Often have I come to man
for help and comfort, and gone away
as from an empty cistern, that had no
water to cool my thirst ; but God has
been a present help. Could I get near
him, I was sure of light, how great
soever my former darkness; I was
sure of warming, quickening life, how
dead soever I had been before. All my
misery was, that I could not get near
him. . My guilty soul could not get
satisfying acquaintance with him. My
earthly heart lay dead, and would not
118 CONVERSE WITH GOD
stir ; or, if by any celestial force it be-
gan a little to move towards him, it
soon fell down again. My carnal
mind was entangled in diverting van-
ities. Thus, have I been kept from
communion with my God. Kept !
not by external violence ; not by bars,
or bolts, or distance of place, or lowness
of condition ; nor by any misrepresen-
tation or reproaches of man ; but,
alas ! by myself ; by the darkness,
stupidity, and vile affections of a
naughty heart. These, these have
been the bars, and bolts, and jailers, to
keep me from my God. Had it no*
been for these, I might have got near
er to him ; I might have walked and
dwelt with him ; yea, " dwelt in him
and he in me ; " nor have missed my
IN SOLITUDE. 119
friends, nor felt my enemies. And
is it my sinful distance from my God,
that has been my loss, my wilder-
ness, my wo ? Is it a nearer admit-
tance to the presence of his love that
must be my recovery, and my joy, if
ever I attain to joy? " O then, my
soul, lay hold on Christ the recon-
ciler, and in him, and by him, draw
near to God. ' Cease from man
whose breath is in his nostrils.' Love
God in his saints, and delightfully
converse with Christ in them, while
thou hast opportunity. But remem-
ber thou livest not upon them, or on
their love, but upon God ; and there-
fore desire their company but for his ;
and if thou hast his, be content if thou
hast not theirs. He wants not man,
120 CONVERSE WITH GOD
that enjoys God. Collect all thy love,
thoughts, and distress, which have
been scattered and lost upon the
creatures, and set them all on God
himself, and press into his presence,
and converse with him ; and thou
shalt find the mistake of thy present
discontent, and thy sweet experience
shall tell thee, thou hast made a hap-
py change/'
Sect. VIII. 5. If God be with me,
he is with me with whom my great-
est business lies. What company
should I desire, but theirs, with whom
I must do my daily necessary work 7
I have more to do with God, than
with all the world; yea, more and
greater business with him in one day
than with all the world in all my life.
IN SOLITUDE. 121
I have business with mortals about
houses or lands, food, or raiment, la-
bours or recreations, private or pub-
lic peace : but what are these to my
business with God? Indeed, with
holy men I have holy business ; but
it is only as they are messengers from
God, and come to me on his business :
But, even then, my business is much
more with God than with them ; with
him that sent them, than with his
messengers. My business with God
is so great, that if I had not a Media-
tor to encourage and assist me to do
my work and procure my acceptance,
the thoughts of it would overwhelm
my soul. Therefore let man stand
by; I have to do with the eternal
God, and with him I am to transact
122 CONVERSE WITH GOD
in this little time the business of my
endless life. I am to seek of God,
through Christ, the pardon of all my
great and grievous sins ; and if I
speed not, wo unto me that ever I
was born ! I have some hopes of
pardon, but intermixed with many
perplexing fears. I have evidences of
grace, but they are exceedingly blot-
ted. I want assurances that God is
my reconciled Father, and that he
will receive me to himself when the
world forsakes me. I have many
languishing graces to be strength-
ened ; and, alas ! what rooted, in-
veterate, vexatious corruptions to be
cured ! Can I look into my heart,
into such an unbelieving and earthly
heart, into such a proud and peevish
IN SOLITUDE. 123
heart, into such a perplexed and trem-
bling heart, and not discern how-
great my business is with God ? Can
I survey my sins, feel my wants, and
sink under my weaknesses? Can I
review my lost time, and all the grace
I have ungratefully resisted, and all
the mercies I have abused : or. can I
look forward, and see how near my
time is to an end 1 Can I think of the
malice and diligence of Satan ; the
number, power, and policy, of my
enemies ; the many dangerous snares
and temptations that are around me ;
and my own ignorance, weakness, and
unwatchfulness, and not know that
my greatest business is with God?
Can I feel and lament my afflictions,
and think my burden greater than I
124 CONVERSE WITH GOD
can bear, and find that men cannot
relieve mej Can I go mourning in
the heaviness of my soul, and water
my bed with tears, and fill the air
with my groans, or feel my soul over-
whelmed, and my words intercepted ?
Can I think of dying? Can I draw
near to judgment? Can I contem-
plate heaven's everlasting joys, or,
hell's everlasting pains, and not feel
that my greatest business is with
God ? " O my soul, the case is easily
resolved, with whom thou art most
seriously to converse. Where shouldst
thou be, but where thy business is,
and business so important ?" Alas !
what have I to do with man ? What
can it do but make my head ache, to
hear a deal of senseless chat, about
IN SOLITUDE. 125
the words and thoughts of men, or
their lands and titles, and a thousand
impertinences, that only prove that
the dreaming world is not awake?
What pleasure is it to see the bustles
of a bedlam world, and how they
strive to prove or make themselves
unhappy ! How tedious and trifling
are discourses even of the learned,
when God is not the mark they aim
at ? Were it not that some converse
with men promotes my converse
with God, and that my master has
placed me in society, and appointed
me much of my work with others,
and for others, and that much of his
mercy is conveyed by others, man
might stand by, and solitude would
be better than the best of society, and
126 CONVERSE WITH GOD
God alone should take me up. No-
thing is so much my misery and
shame, as that I have so little will
and skill in the management of my
grand business ; that my work is with
God, and my heart no more with
him. What might I not do in holy
meditation or prayer one hour, if I
were disposed, like one that has had
so long a season, and so great a neces-
sity for conversing with God? A
prayerless heart, a heart that flies
away from God, is most inexcusable
in such a one as I, that have so much
important business with him. It is
work that must be done, and if well
done, will never be repented of. I
have never returned from the presence
of God, when I have really drawn
IN SOLITUDE- 127
near to him, as I have from the com-
pany of mortals, repenting the loss
of my time, and trembling for my dis-
composure contracted by their vain
and earthly discourse. I often repent
that I have prayed to him so coldly,
and conversed with him so nesfeent-
ly, and served him so remissly ; but I
never repent of the time, care, affec-
tions, or diligence, employed in his
holy work. O that I had lived more
with God, though I had been less with
some that are eminent in the world,
or even with the dearest of my friends !
How much more sweet would my
life have been ! How much more
blameless, regular, and pure ! How
much more fruitful, and answerable
to my obligations and professions !
128 CONVERSE WITH QOD
How much more comfortable in the
review ! How many falls, and wounds,
and griefs might have been prevented !
O how much more pleasing is it now
to my remembrance, to think of the
hours in which I have lain at the di-
vine footstool, though it were in tears
and groans, than to think of the
time I have spent in converse with the
greatest, most learned, or nearest of
my acquaintance !
Sect. IX. And as my greatest, so
my daily business is also with God.
He purposely leaves me under daily
want and necessities, and the daily
assault of enemies, and surprise of
afflictions, that I may be daily driven
to him. He loves to hear from me.
He would have me to be no stranger
IN SOLITUDE. 129
with him. I have business with him
every hour, and need not want em-
ployment for all the faculties of my
soul, if I know what it is to converse
in heaven. Prayer and every devout
thought, have an object so great and
excellent, as ought to possess me
wholly. Nothing of God must be
treated lightly. His name must not
betaken in vain. "He will be sanctified
in them that come nigh him." He
must be " loved with all the heart."
His servants need not be weary for
want of employment, nor through its
trifling or unprofitable nature. Had
I cities to build, or kingdoms to gov-
ern. I might more reasonably complain
that my faculties are unemployed,
than I can when I am to converse in
9
130 CONVERSE WITH GOD
heaven. In other studies, the delight
abates, when desire is gratified and
knowledge attained ; but in God there
is infinitely more to be known, when
I seem to know him best. I am never
satisfied with the easiness of know-
ing him, nor is there any uneasiness
or unworthiness in him to abate my
desires ; but I am drawn to him by
his highest excellences, and drawn
on to desire more and more, by the
infinite light which I have not yet be-
held, and by the infinite good which
I have not yet enjoyed. If I am idle,
or seem to want employment, when
I am to contemplate all the works
and mercies, all the relations and per-
fections of the Lord, surely it is for
want of eyes to see, or heart inclined
IN SOLITUDE. 131
to my business. If God be not enough
to employ my soul, then all the per-
sons and things on earth are not
enough. And when I have infinite
goodness to delight in, where my
soul may freely let out itself, without
any fear of exceeding love, how
sweet should this employment be !
Love is no more confined here, by
the narrowness of the object, than
knowledge. We can never love him in
any proportion, either to his goodness
or amiableness in himself, or to his
love to us. What need have I then of
any other company or business, when
I have infinite goodness to delight in
and to love, farther than such com-
pany or business may subserve this
greatest work ? " Come home, then
132 CONVERSE WITH GOD
my soul, to God. Converse in heav-
en. Turn away thine eyes from be-
holding vanity. Let not thy affec-
tions kindle upon straw or briers, that
go out when they have made a flash
or noise, and leave thee to cold or
darkness. But come, and dwell up-
on celestial beauties, and make it thy
daily and most diligent work to kin-
dle thy affections on the infinite ever-
lasting good ; and thus they will
never be extinguished for want of
fuel : but the longer they burn, the
greater will be the flame. Though
while love is but a spark, thou canst
not easily make it burn, and art com-
plaining of thy cold and backward
heart, that it is hardly warmed with
the love of God ; yet, when the whole
IN SOLITUDE. 133
pile has took fire, and the flame as-
cends, then fire will breed fire, and
love will produce love, and all the
malice of hell itself shall never be able
to suppress or quench it unto all eter-
nity."
Sect. X. 6. If God be with me, he is
with me with whom I may converse
without reserve or interruption. It is
great encouragement to my converse
with God, that no misunderstanding,
no malice of enemies, no past sin, nor
present frailty ; no, nor the infinite
distance of the most holy and glorious
God, can hinder my access to him, or
interrupt my leave and liberty of con-
verse, If I converse with the poor,
their wants afflict me, being greater
than I can supply. If I would con-
134 CONVERSE WITH GOD
verse with 7 the great, it is not easy
to get access, and less easy to
have their favour, unless I purchase
it at too dear a rate. How strangely
and contemptuously do they look on
their inferiors ! How must their
word or smile be solicited ! How
soon are they weary of you ! Espe-
cially if you would put them to any
cost or trouble ! With how much
labour and difficulty must you climb
to see the top of one of those moun-
tains ! And when you are there, you
are but in a place of barrenness and
have nothing to satisfy you for your
pains, and may soon be glad to get
far enough from them, and learn bet-
ter to relish the accessible, calm, and
fruitful valleys. How different from
IN SOLITUDE. 135
this, is my soul's converse with God !
Company never hinders him from
hearkening to my suit. He is infinite,
and omnipotent, and all-sufficient, for
every individual soul, as if he had
no other to look after in the world.
When he is taken up with the atten-
dance and praises of his heavenly
hosts, he is as free and as ready to at-
tend and answer the prayers and
sighs of a contrite soul, as if he had
no nobler creature, nor higher service
to regard. I am often unready to
pray, but God is always ready to hear.
I am unready to come to him, walk
with him, and delight myself in him,
but he is never unready to entertain
me. Many a time my conscience
would have driven me away, but
136 con~ver.se with god
God has invited me to him, and re-
buked my accusing and trembling-
conscience. Many a time I have cal 1-
ed myself a prodigal, " a miserable
sinner," when he has called me " his
son," and reproved me for question-
ing his love. He has readily forgiven
the sins, which I thought would have
made my soul the fuel of hell. He
has entertained me with joy, with mu-
sic, and a feast, when I rather deserved
to be cast out of doors. He has tenderly
embraced me, when he might have
said, " Depart from me, thou worker
of iniquity, I know thee not." Little
did I think he could ever forget the
vanity and villany of my youth ;
when I had sinned against light;
when I had resisted conscience ; when
IN -SOLITUDE. 137
I had frequently and wilfully injured
love ; I thought he would never
have forgotten it : but the greatness
of his love and mercy, and the blood
and intercession of his Son, have can-
celled all. O how many mercies
have I tasted, since I thought I had
sinned away- all mercies ! How pa-
tiently has he borne with me, since I
thought he would never have put up
with more ! And yet, except my
sins, and the withdrawings of my
heart, there has been nothing to in-
terrupt our converse. Though he is
God, and I a worm ; though he is
in heaven, and I on earth ; yet he is
near in all that I call upon him for.
Though he has the praise of angels,
he disdains not my sighs and tears,
138 CONVERSE WITH GOD
Though he is perfectly loved by spi
rits made perfect, he despises not the
little spark of my weak and languid
love. Though I injure him by
loving him no more ; though I often
forget him, and have been out of the
way, or refused to hear, when he has
called, and have ungratefully rejected
the entertainment of his love, and have
unfaithfully associated myself with
those whose company he forbid me ;
yet he has not divorced me. O won-
derful, that heaven will be familiar
with earth, God with man, the most
high with a worm, and the most holy
with a vile sinner ! Man refuses me,
when God entertains me. Those I
never wronged reproach me ; and
God, whom I have unspeakably in
IN SOLITUDE. 139
jured, invites and entreats me, and
condescends to me, as if he was
obliged to serve me. Men abhor
me, whom I have deserved well of;
and God, from whom I deserve eter-
nal torments^graciously accepts me.
I upbraid myself with my sins, but
he upbraids me not. I condemn my-
self for them, but he will not condemn
me. He forgives me sooner than I
can forgive myself. I have peace
with him, before I can have peace
in my own conscience. Draw near
then, O my soul, to him who is wil-
ling to have thy company ; who
frowns thee not away, except when
thou hast sinned, that thou mayest
repent and be fitter for his converse.
Draw near to him who will not wrong
140 CONVERSE WITH GOD
thee, by crediting thine enemies' false
reports, or by laying to thy charge
things that thou kno west not ; but will
forgive the wrongs thou hast done,
and justify thee from the sins which
conscience lays to thy charge. Come
to him, who invites thee to come, by
his word and spirit, by his ministers
and mercies, and who promises, that
" those who come to him, he will in
no wise cast out." "Walk with him,
who will hold thee by thy right hand.
Speak to him who teacheth thee to
speak, and understands and accepts
thy stammering, and " helps thine
infirmities," when thou " kno west not
what to pray for as thou oughtest,"
and gives thee " groanings which can-
not be uttered" by thy best chosen
IN SOLITUDE. 141
Words. Speak to him whom the
heaven and heaven of heavens can-
not contain ; but to this man will he
look, even to him that is poor and of
a contrite spirit, and trembles at his
word ; yea, " a broken and a contrite
heart he will not despise." Walk
with him, who is never weary of the
converse of the upright ; who is
never angry with thee but for
flying from him, or from drawing
back, or being too strange, and refus-
ing the kindness and felicity of his
presence. The day is coming when
the proudest of the sons of men
would be glad of akindlook from him,
with whom thou hast leave now to
walk. How glad would those be of
a father's smile, or of any intimation of
142 CONVERSE WITH GOD
hope and mercy from him, who now
will not condescend to favour thee
with their smiles, but delight to injure
and abuse thee ! Draw near to him,
therefore, on whom the whole creation
depends, and whose favour the great-
est mortals will at last cry for, when
all their pomp and pleasure can pur-
chase nothing. Walk with him, who
is love itself, nor think him unwilling
or unlovely nor let any artifices of
the tempter drive thee from him.
Having felt the storms abroad, me-
thinks thou shouldst say, how safe,
how sweet, how " good it is to draw
near to God !" Once more,
Sect. XL 7. If God be with me,
he is with me with whom I must live
for ever. My house or land, my
IN SOLITUDE. 143
Walks or books, or even my friends
as clothed with flesh, are pleasures I
must posessbut a little while. " Hence-
forth know we no man after the flesh j
yea, though we have known Christ
after the flesh, yet now henceforth
know we him no more ;" for his body
in heaven is spiritual and glorious.
And though when we come to Christ,
we may converse with father or
mother, with wife or children, as glo-
rified saints ; yet in the relation in
which they now stand, we shall con
verse with them but a little while.
For " the time is short : It remaineth
that both they that have wives, be as
though they had none ; and they that
weep, as though they wept not ; and
they that rejoice, as though they re-
144 CONVERSE WITH GOD
joiced not; and they that buy, as
though they possessed not ; and they
that use this world, as not abusing it,"
or as though they use it not : " For
the fashion of this world passeth
away.-' Why then should I so much
regard a converse of so short a con-
tinuance? Why should I be so fa-
miliar in my inn, and so fond of that
familiarity, as to grieve at the thought
of leaving it, and going to my glori-
ous eternal home ? Shall I love the
company of a fellow traveller, or per-
haps of one that is going to a contra-
ry place, and not take more pleasure
in remembering my home ? O my
soul, consider, " thou dost not dwell,
but travel here. It is thy father's
house, where thou must abide forever.
IN SOLITUDE. 145
e
Though he is invisible, he is every
step of thy way nearer to thee than
any mortal. Walk then, ' as seeing
him who is invisible.' Hearken to
him when he speaks. Obey his
voice. Observe his way. Speak to
him boldly, though humbly and rev-
erently, as his child. Tell him
what ails thee. Look upon all thy
suffering as the demerit of thy sin.
Confess thy folly and unkindness,
crave his pardon, and remind him
what and why his Son suffered.
Treat with him about thy future con-
verse. Desire his grace, and give up
thyself to his conduct and care. Tell
him the history of thy crimes,"with
penitential tears and groans. Tell
him, also, that where sin has abound
10
146 CONVERSE WITH GOD
ed, his grace may now much more
abound, and therefore be honoured
the more. Tell him, that thou art
most angry with that which offends
him most, even thy disobedient un-
thankful heart ; that thou art
weary of a heart that loves him no
more ; and that it will never please
thee, till it loves him better, and is
more desirous to please him. Tell
him of thy enemies, and entreat the
protection of his love. Tell him of
thy infirmities, and beg not only his
tender forbearance, but his help;
sensible that ' without him thou canst
do nothing;' and that 'strengthened
by him thou canst do all things.
When thou fallest, despair not, but
crave his hand to raise thee up again
IN SOLITUDE. 147
Especially speak to him of everlast-
ing things, and thank him for his
promises, and for thy hopes of what
thou shalt be, and have, and do, among
his saints for ever. Rejoice in those
promised joys, even of seeing his glory
and of loving and praising him bet-
ter than thou canst now desire. Be-
gin those praises. And as thou walk-
est with him, take pleasure in the
mention of his perfections ; ' be thank-
ful unto him, and bless his name.' De-
light thyself in considering what a
God and portion all believers have ;
whither this God is now conducting
thee ; what he will do with thee ; and
how he will employ thee for ever. Joy-
fully celebrate the glory of his works
the righteousness of his judgments,
148 CONVERSE WITH GOD
and the holiness of his ways. Let
his praises elevate thy heart and
voice. Turn away all slavish fears,
all hurtful doubts and griefs, that
would interrupt or spoil the melody.
Thy Father loves even thy com-
plaints and tears; and how much
more thy praises and thanksgivings !
If indeed he seem to chide or hide his
face, because thou hast offended him ;
let the cloud that is gathered by thy
folly come down in tears ; yet fly not
from him, but beg his pardon, and the
privilege of a servant, though unwor-
thy to be treated as a son ; and thou
wilt find that he is merciful and ready
to forgive : only return, and keep
closer for time to come. If the breach,
through thy neglect, be gone so far,
IN SOLITUDE. 149
that thou seemest to have lost thy
God, and to be cast off and forsaken ;
despair not yet, for he does but hide
his face till thou repent. Be not re-
gardless of his withdrawings, and of
thy loss. Cry out, My Father, my
Saviour, my God, why dost thou hide
thy face ? Why hast thou forsaken
me ? What shall I do here without
thee ? O leave me not, lose me not in
this howling wilderness ! Let me not
be a prey to any ravenous beast, to
sin and sat an, to my foes and thine !
Tell him these are the lamentations
of his child. Beg that thy childish
follies may be pardoned ; and though
he correct thee, that he will not for-
sake his child. If thou hast not
words to pour out before him, at least
150 CONVERSE WITH GOD
1 smite upon thy breast ;' and though
thou art afraid or ashamed to ' lift up
so much as thine eyes unto heaven,'
yet look down and say, God be mer-
ciful to me a sinner ; and it will
tend to thy pardon and justification,
and be a prayer which he cannot
deny : Or if thou hast long called
upon thy Father's name, and hearest
not his voice, and hast no return ; in-
quire for him of them that know him,
and are acquainted with his way ;
and ask the watchman where thou
mayst find thy Lord. At length he
will appear to thee, and first find thee,
that thou mayest find him, and will
show thee where thou didst lose him,
by losing thyself. Seek him, and
thou shalt find him. Wait, and he
IN SOLITUDE. 151
will appear in kindness ; for he never
fails nor forsakes those that wait for
him. Thou art surer in his covenant
love, than thou canst believe or appre-
hend. This kind of converse, O my
soul, thou hast to maintain with thy
God. Thou hast, also., the interest of
all his afflicted servants to tell him of;
the concerns of his kingdom ; the
fury of his enemies ; the dishonour
they cast upon his name; the ad-
vancement of his gospel and glory in
the world. But still let his righteous
judgment be remembered, and all be
centered in his glorious, everlasting
kingdom." Is it not much better thus
to converse with him, whom I must be
with for ever, about the place, the com-
pany, the work, and interest of my
152 CONVERSE WITH GOD
perpetual abode, than to be taken up
■with strangers, and be hindered in
,«iy way by their impertinences 1
IN SOLITUDE. 153
CHAPTER V.
HOW THE PRESENCE OF GOD IN SOLITUDE IS
ATTAINABLE.
Sect. I. More reasons hinted at for desiring the
presence of God in solitude. Sect. II. — III. In
order to enjoy the presence of God in solitude, 1,
be reconciled to him ; Sect. IV. 2, depend on
Christ's mediation; Sect. V. 3, get free from
guilt ; Sect. VI. 4, cherish no idol in the heart;
Sect. VII— IX. 5, live by faith ; Sect. X. and 6,
keep the heart with all keeping ; Sect. XI.
The blessed God to be admired for his perfect
suitableness to the desires of the soul. Sect.
XII. The work concludes with ardent breathings
after God.
Sect. I. Largely as I have pointed
out, in the preceding chapter, the
reasonableness of saying in solitude,
" I am not alone, because the Father
154 CONVERSE WITH GOD
is with me ;" yet I am sensible there
are other weighty reasons to be as-
signed, which well deserve to engage
our meditations ; though here I shall
but briefly mention them. As for
instance : Converse with God gives
human converse all its excellence.
Converse with man is only so far
desirable as it tends to our converse
with God. And therefore the end
must be preferred before the means.
All divine dispensations and ordinan-
ces are designed to assist our converse
with God. It is the office of Christ,
and the work of the Holy Spirit, and
the usefulness of all the means of
grace, and of all creatures, mercies,
and afflictions, to reduce our stray-
ing souls to God, that we may con-
IN SOLITUDE. 155
verse with him, and enjoy him. Con-
verse with God is most suitable to
those that are near death. It best
prepares for death. It is the nearest
resemblance to the work we are to do
after death. We had rather, when
death comes, be found conversing with
God than with man. A dying man
has principally to do with God ; he is
going to the judgment of God ; and
he must trust in his mercy. It there-
fore concerns us to draw near to God
now, and be no strangers to him, lest
strangeness at death should be our ter-
ror. God's willingness to converse
with me, is the most wonderful con-
descension. Will he converse with
such a worm, with such a vile sin-
ner ! And therefore, how inexcusa-
156 CONVERSE WITH GOD
ble is my crime, if I refuse his com-
pany, and reject so great a mercy !
Even heaven itself is but our converse
with God, and with his saints that
are glorified. Consequently, our
holy converse with God here, is the
state that most resembles heaven,
and best prepares for it, and indeed
is all the heaven there is upon earth.
Sect. II. In order to assist you in
attaining to this converse with God,
let the following directions be careful-
ly attended to. As for instance : be
reconciled to God ; depend on the
mediation of Christ; get free from
guilt ; cherish no idol in the heart ;
live by faith ; and, keep the heart
with all keeping. But, obvious as
such directions are, there may be
IN SOLITUDE. 157
great incapacity in some persons,
to be much in solitary contempla-
tions, arising from melancholy, or
other infirmities. The confusion
and hurry, which will be apt to
prevail in retirement, make it pro-
per for such persons to attend, for the
most part, to those religious duties
which are carried on by the help of
others. Instead of well digested
meditations in solitude, they must
content themselves with a little time
in secret prayer, and with short occa-
sional meditations ; and be so much
the more in social reading and hear-
ing, prayer and praise, till their better
state of bodily health, and more vig-
orous spirits, shall iit them for the de-
sirable improvement of their solitude,
158 CONVERSE WITH GOB
Sect. III. 1. Make sure of your
reconciliation to God in Christ, and
of his being indeed your Father and
friend. How " can two walk together,
except they be agreed ?" Can you
take pleasure indwelling with con-
suming fire? Or, in conversing with
the most dreadful enemy ? But that
every doubting, or self-accusing soul
may not find a pretence for flying
from God, let such know and consi-
der, that God does not cease to be a
Father, whenever a fearful soul is
drawn to question or deny it. Let
them also know and consider, that in
the offers of grace to all miserable sin-
ners, and in the assured readiness of
God to receive and embrace the truly
penitent, there are such tidings as
IN SOLITUDE. 159
ought exceedingly to rejoice a sinner ;
and such abundant encouragements,
as ought to draw the most guilty to
seek unto God for mercy. It must
be acknowledged, however, that the
sweetest converse with God is for his
children, and for those that have some
assurance that they are his children.
And perhaps you will say, that this is
not easily attained ; how shall we
know that God is our friend ? To
this I answer, If you are unfeignedly
friends to God, it is " because he first
loved you." Prefer him before all
other friends, and before all the
world's wealth and vanity. Use
him as your best friend, and abuse
him not by disobedience or ingrati-
tude. Own him, though at the dear-
160 CONVERSE WITH GOD
est rate, whenever you are called to
it. Desire his presence, and lament
his absence. " Love him with all your
heart." Think not hardly of him.
Suspect him not. Misunderstand him
not. Hearken not to his enemies. Re-
ceive not any false reports against
him. Take him to be really better
for you than all the world. Thus
do, and doubt not but you are friends
with God, and God with you. In a
word, be but heartily willing to be
friends to God, and that God should
be your chiefest friend, and you may
be sure that it is so indeed, and that
you are and have what you desire .
and then how delightfully may you
converse with God !
Sect. IV. 2. Depend entirely on
IN SOLITUDE. 161
the mediation of Christ, the great
Reconciler. Without him there is no
coming near to God ; but " in his be-
loved" you shall " be accepted."
Whatever fear of God's displeasure
shall surprise you, presently fly to
Christ for safety. Whatever guilt shall
look you in the face, commit your-
self and your cause to Christ, and
desire him to answer for you. When
the doors of mercy seem to be shut
against you, fly to him that " has the
keys," and who at any time can open
to you and let you in* Entreat him
to answer for you to God, to your
own conscience, and to all accusers.
By him alone you may boldly and
comfortably converse with God ; but
out of him God will not know you.
11
162 CONVERSE WITH GOD
Sect. Y. 3. If you would have
sweet communion with God, take
heed of bringing into his presence
any particular guilt. Christ himself
never reconciled God to sin ; and the
sinner and sin are so nearly related;
that, notwithstanding the death of
Christ, you shall feel' that " iniquity
dwelleth not with God, but he hateth
all workers of it, and the foolish shall
not stand in his sight ;" and that if
you will presume to sin because you
are his children, " be sure your sin
will find you out." O what fear, what
shame, what self abhorrence and self-
revenge, will guilt raise in a penitent
soul, when it comes with the soul
into the light of the presence of the
Lord ! It will unavoidably abate
IN SOLITUDE, 163
your boldness an/I your comfort.
When you should be taking a sweet
complacence in his reconciled face,
and promised glory, you will be re-
proaching yourselves for your former
sins, and be ready even to tear your
flesh, to think that you should do as
you have done, and use him as you
would not have used a common friend,
and that you have cast yourself upon
his wrath. But a peaceful conscience,
a soul " washed in innocency," will
walk with God in " quietness and as-
surance," without those frowns and
fears, which to others are a taste of
hell.
Sect. V. 4. Be sure that you
bring no idols in your hearts, when
you come to converse with God.
164 C0NV2HSE WITH GOD
Take heed of inordinate affection to
any creature. Let all things else be
as nothing to yon, that you may have
none to take up your thoughts but
God ; and your minds may be far-
ther separated from them than your
bodies. Bring not into solitude, or
contemplation, a proud, or wanton, or
covetous mind. It is of much greater
importance, what heart you bring,
than what place you are in, or what
business you are upon. A mind
drowned in ambition, sensuality, or
passion, will scarce find God any
sooner in retirement, than in a crowd;
for God will not own nor be familiar
with such a one, unless he is return-
ing from those sins to God. " What
advantage is there," says Seneca, " in
IN SOLITUDE 165
the greatest rural silence, if passions
rage within ?" Bring not thy house,
or land, or credit, or carnal friend,
along with thee in thine heart, if thou-
wouldst walk in heaven, and converse
with God.
Sect. YII. 5. Live still by faith.
Let faith, as it were, lay heaven and
earth together. Look not at God, as
if he were afar off. " Set him always
before you, even at your right hand.
When you awake, be still with him."
In the morning thank him for your
rest, and yield up yourself to his con-
duct and service for the whole day.
Go forth as with him, and doing his
work. In every action, let the com-
mand of God, and the promise of
heaven, be before your eyes, and up-
166 CONVERSE WITH GOD
on your hearts. Live, as having in-
comparably more to do with God and
heaven, than with all the world ; that,
with Paul, you may say, " To me
to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
You mast shut up the eye of
sense, except in subordination to
faith, and live by faith upon a God, a
Christ, and a world that is unseen, if
you would by experience know what
it is to be above the brutish life of
sensualists, and to converse with God.
" O Christian, if thou hadst rightly
learned this blessed life, how high
and noble would thy conversation be !
How easily wouldst thou spare, and
how little wouldst thou miss, the fa-
vour of the greatest mortals, or the
presence of any worldly comfort !
IN SOLITUDE. 167
City or country would be much alike
to thee : only that place and state
would be best to thee, where thou
hast the greatest help and freedom to
converse with God. Thou wouldst
say of human society, as Seneca, l It
is the same thing to me, whether I
converse with a single friend, or with
a multitude : I am satisfied with one,
and with none. 5 Thus being taken
up with God, thou mightest, in prison,
live as at liberty ; and in a wilderness
as in a city ; and in a place of ban-
ishment, as hi thy native land ; ' for
the earth is the Lord's, and the ful-
ness thereof;' and every where thou
may est find him, and converse with
him, and < lift up holy hands' unto
him. In every place thou art within
168 CONVERSE WITH GOD
the sight of home, and heaven is in
thine eye, and thou art conversing
with that God, in whose converse the
highest angels place their most tran-
scendent felicity."
Sect. VIII. How little cause, then,
have all the church's enemies to
triumph, since they can never exclude
a true believer from the presence of
his God, nor banish him into such a
place where he cannot "have his
conversation in heaven !" The stones
that were cast at holy Stephen, could
not hinder him from "seeing the
heavens opened, and Jesus standing
on the right hand of God." A Pat-
mos allowed St. John to be " in the
Spirit on the Lord's day." Christ
never so speedily and comfortably
IN SOLITUDE. 169
owns his servants, as when the
world disowns them, and abuses
them for his sake, and hurls them
about " as the offscourings of all
things." When "the Jews cast out
the man" whom Christ had cured of
his blindness, Jesus soon "found
him." Persecutors do but promote the
"blessedness and exceeding joy" of
sufferers for Christ, How little rea-
son, then, have Christians to shun such
sufferings, by any unlawful means ;
and to give so dear, as the hazard of
their souls, for the sake of escaping
the safety, honour, and happiness of
martyrdom !
Sect. IX. Indeed, we judge not.
we love and live not, as saints must
do. if we jud^e not that to be the truest
170 CONVERSE WITH GOD
liberty, and love it not as the best con-
dition, in which we may most inti-
mately converse with God. And O how
much harder is it to walk with God
in a court, in the midst of sensual
delights, than in aprisonor wilderness,
where we have none to interrupt us,
and nothing else to engage us ! Our
prepossessed minds, our earthly hearts,
our carnal affections, and the plea-
sures of a prosperous state, are the
prisons and jailers of our souls. Were
it not for these, how free should we be,
though our bodies were confined to
the straightest room ! He is at liberty,
who can walk in heaven, and have
access to God, and make use of all
the creatures in the world, for promo-
ting his heavenly conversation. And
IN SOLITUDE. 171
he is the prisoner whose soul is
chained to flesh and sense, and con-
fined to his lands and houses, and
feeds on the dust of worldly riches,
or wallows in the filth of gluttony,
drunkenness, or lust ; who is " far
from God," and desires not to be near
him ; who says to God, " depart from
me, for I desire not the knowledge of
thy ways ;" who loves his prison and
his chains so well, that he refuses to
be set free, and hates those, with the
cruellest hatred, that endeavour his
deliverance. He is the poor prisoner
of Satan, who has not liberty to be-
lieve, nor love God, nor converse in
heaven, nor seriously mind and seek
the things that are most high and
honourable; who has no liberty to
172 CONVERSE WITH GOD
pray, or meditate, or speak of things
divine, or love the converse of those
that do ; who is tied so hard to the
drudgery of sin, that lie cannot leave
it for a month, a week, or a day, in
order to delight himself in walking
with God. Bat he who lives in the
family of God, and is employed in
attending on him, and in conversing
with Christ, and with heavenly ob-
jects ; such a one has no reason to
complain of his want of friends, or
company, or accommodation, nor to
be too impatient under any corporeal
confinement.
Sect. X. 6. Lastly, keep your hearts
with all keeping. Let nothing have
entertainment there, which would
abridge your liberty of conversing
IN SOLITUDE. 173
with God. Fill not those hearts with
worldly vanities, which are made
and new made, to be the habitation
of God, Desire not the company
which would diminish your heavenly
acquaintance and correspondence. Be
not unfriendly, nor self-sufficient and
self-conceited, but beware, lest under
the ingenuous title of a friend, a spe-
cial, prudent, faithful friend, you
should entertain an idol, or an enemy
to your love of God, or a competitor
with your highest and best friend.
It is not the specious title of a friend,
that will save you from the thorns and
briers of disappointment, even from
greater troubles than ever you found
from open enemies.
Sect. XI. O blessed be that high
174 CONVERSE WITH GOD
and everlasting friend, who is every
way suited to upright souls ! to their
minds and memories, to their delight
and love ; by unchangeable truth, in-
exhaustible goodness, unspotted light,
dearest love, and firmest constancy !
Why has my darksighted and drow-
sy soul been so seldom with him !
Why has it so often, so slightly, so
unthankfully passed by, and not ob-
served him, nor hearkened to his kind-
est invitations? What is all this
vanity and vexation that has filled
my memory, burdened my mind, and
cheated and corrupted my affections ;
while my dearest Lord has been days
and nights so unworthily forgotten,
so contemptuously neglected, or loved
as if T loved him not ? O that those
IN SOLITUDE. 175
lost and empty hours had been
spent in the humblest converse with
him, which have been dreamed away
upon, I know not what !
Sect. XII. " O my God, how much
wiser and happier had I been, had I
rather chosen to mourn with thee,
than to rejoice and sport with any
other. O that I had rather wept with
thee, than laughed with the creature !
For the time to come, let that be my
friend, that most befriends my dark,
and dull, and backward soul, in its hea-
venly conversation! Or if there be
none such on earth, let me be without
earthly friends ! O blot out every name
from my corrupted heart, which hin-
ders the deeper engraving of thy
name ! Ah ! Lord, what a stone,
176 CONVERSE WITH GOD
what a blind ungrateful thing, is a
heart not touched with celestial love !
Yet, Lord, shall I not run to thee,
when I have none else that will know
me ? Shall I not draw near to thee,
when all fly from me ? When daily-
experience cries out so loud, None but
Christ, God or nothing, ah foolish
heart, that hast not thought of it!
Where, Lord, is that place, that cave,
or desert^ where I might soonest find
thee, and fullest enjoy thee ? Is it in
the wilderness, that thou walkest, or
in the crowd ; in the closet, or in the
church ? Where is it that I might
soonest meet with God ? But, alas,
I now perceive I have a heart to find,
before I am like to find my Lord !
O lifeless stony heart, that is dead
IN SOLITUDE. 177
to him that gave it life, and to none
but him ! Could I not love, or think,
or feel at all, methinks I were less
dead than now ; less dead, if dead,
than now I am alive ! I had al-
most said, Lord, let me never love
more, till I can love thee ; nor think
more on any thing, till I can more
willingly think of thee ! But I must
suppress that wish ; for life will act ;
and the motions of nature are neces-
sary to those of grace. And therefore
in the life of nature, and in the glim-
merings of thy light, I will wait for
more of the celestial life. My God,
thou hast my consent ; it is here at-
tested under my hand ; separate me
from what and whom thou wilt, so
that I may but be nearer to thee ! Let
12
178 CONVERSE WITH GOD
me love thee more, and feel more of
thy love, and then let me love or be
beloved of the world, as little as thou
wilt ! 1 thought self-love had been
a more predominant thing ; but now
I find repentance has its anger, its
hatred, and its revenge. I am truly
angry with my heart, that has so often
and foolishly offended thee. Methinks
I hate that heart, that is so cold and
backward in thy love, and almost
grudged it a dwelling in my breast.
Alas, when love should be the life of
prayer, the life of meditation, the life
of sermons, and of holy conference,
and my soul in them should long to
meet thee, and delight to mention
thee, I wander, Lord, I know not
whither ! Or, I sit still, and wish, but
IN SOLITUDE. 179
do not rise, and run, and follow thee ;
yea, I do not, what I seem to do ; all
is dead, all is dead for want of love !
I often cry, O where is that place, where
the quickening beams of heaven are
warmest, that my frozen soul might
seek it out ! But whither can I go, to
city or to solitude ? Alas, I find it is
not place that makes the difference !
I know that Christ is perfectly re-
plenished with life and light and love ;
and I hear him as our head and
treasure, proclaimed and offered to us
in thy gospel. This is thy reward, 'He
that hath the Son hath life.' O why
then is my barren soul so empty ! I
thought I had long ago consented to
thy offer ; and then according to thy
covenant, both light and life in him
180 CONVERSE WITH GOD
are mine. And yet must I still be
dark and dead ? Ah, dearest Lord, I
say not that I have too long waited ;
but if I continue thus to wait, wilt
thou never find the time of love, and
come and own thy panting, gasping
worm? Wilt thou never dissipate
these clouds, and shine upon this
dead and darkened soul ? Hath my
night no day? Thrust me not from
thee, O my God ; for it is a hell to be
thrust from thee ! But surely the
cause, could I find it, or rather could I
cure it, is all at home. Surely it is my
face that is turned from God, when I
say, 'his face is turned from me.'
And if ' my life,' while on earth, must
be out of sight, and be hidden in the
root, ' with Christ in God ;' if all the
IN SOLITUDE. 181
rest be reserved for that better world,
and I must here have but these small
beginnings, O make me more to love
and long for thine appearing, and
not to fear the time of my deliverance,
or unbelievingly to linger in this So-
dom, as one that would rather stay
with sin, than come to thee ! Though
sin has made me backward to the
sight, let it not make me backward to
receive the crown ; though it has
made me a loiterer in thy work, let it
not make me backward to receive
that wages which thy love will give
to our pardoned, poor, accepted ser-
vices ! Though I have too often
drawn back, when I should have
come unto thee, and have walked
with thee in thy ways of grace ; yet
182 CONVERSE WITH GOD, &C.
heal that unbelief and disaffection,
which would make me draw back,
when thou callest me to possess thy
glory! Though the sickness and
lameness of my soul have hindered
me in my journey, yet let my painful
fatigues help me in my desires to be
delivered, and to be at home ; where,
without the interposing nights of thy
displeasure, I shall perfectly feel rich-
est love, and walk with thy glorified
saints, in the light of thy glory, tri-
umphing in thy praise for evermore !
Amen."
MORNING PRAYER
A FAMILY.
O Lord God Almighty, assist us
now to draw near unto thee with deep
reverence and humility of mind.
Deliver us from all wandering
thoughts, and enable us to worship
thee in such a manner as thou mayest
hear our prayers and pour down thy
blessing upon us.
O Lord God of Heaven, Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ, giver of every
good and perfect gift, we thank thee
for all thine unmerited mercies be-
stowed upon this family, and we pray
184 MORNING PRAYER
thee by thy grace to preserve every
one of us from sinning against thee.
Defend us through this day by thy
mighty power, save us from the temp-
tations of the world, the flesh, and the
devil, put into our hearts good desires,
and help us to fulfil all thy precepts
and commandments. And since thou
hast sent thy Son Jesus Christ into
the world to die for our sins, and to be-
come the Saviour of our souls, O Lord,
give us grace, day by day, to thank
thee for this unspeakable gift, and
help us to remember that we are not
our own, but are bought with a price,
and make us willing therefore both to
do and suffer all things to which thou
mayest be pleased to call us ; teach us
to be this day patient and humble,
FOR A FAMILY. 185
and thankful, and contented with our
lot, often lifting up our thoughts to
heaven, having our chief desires fixed
on a better world.
And make us holy in all manner of
conversation as becometh the disciples
of Jesus Christ ; make this household,
we pray thee, to be a household that
feareth God; may we be delivered
from the corruption that is in the
world, and may we also dwell to-
gether in unity. May we put away
from us all bitterness and wrath,
and anger, and evil speaking, and all
malice, and may we be kind one
towards another, forgiving one an-
other, even as we hope that God, for
Christ's sake, hath forgiven us. And
help us to know our several duties iu
186 MORNING PRAYER
life that we may fulfil them. May
we be upright and diligent, may we
waste no time, and neglect no opportu-
nity of doing good that is afforded us.
May we be ready to every good
work.
And teach us to be ever watchful
and circumspect, and fearful of run-
ning into temptation, but if, at any
time, we are overtaken with a fault,
give us grace to confess it and repent
of it, and to ask forgiveness both from
God and man.
O Lord, pardon the many sins
which in times past we have committed
against thee. Forgive our forgetful-
ness of thee our God, and our many
trespasses against our neighbours.
Grant unto us all true repentance, and
FOR A FAMILY. 1ST
help us day by day to grow in grace,
and in the knowledge of our Lord and
Saviour.
Our Father, &c.
May the grace of our Lord Jesus
Christ, and the love of God, and the
fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with
us all evermore. Amen.
EVENING PRAYER
FOR
A FAMILY.
O Lord our heavenly Father, we
beseech thee to hear the prayers
which we are about to offer up unto
thee ; deliver us from all wandering
thoughts, and help us to remember
that we are now in the presence of
that God unto whom all hearts are
open, and from whom no secrets are
hid.
O God we pray thee to forgive the
sins of the past day. We acknow-
ledge that we have this day left un-
done many things which we ought
to have done, and done many things
EVENING PRAYER 18 l J
which we ought not to have done.
We have trespassed against thee in
thought, word, and deed, and though
we have been encouraged by thy gospel
to repent of our iniquities, and to serve
God in newness of life, yet we have
many times returned to those sins
which we profess to have repented of,
and we have fallen under thy just
wrath and displeasure.
But we pray thee, O thou God of
all grace and goodness, for the sake
of thy Son Jesus Christ, to pardon all
that is past, and to take us into thy
favour this night, not weighing our
merits, but forgiving our offences,
and causing us to place our humble
trust in thy mercy. Deliver us, we
pray thee, from the troubles of aguil-
190 FOR A FAMILY.
ty conscience, now that we are about
to lie down to rest. Save us, O Lord,
from the dread of death, and from the
terrors of the wrath to come. Grant
unto us, if it please thee, a quiet night,
and make us all to be at peace with
God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
At the same time, we beseech thee
not to suffer that we should deceive
ourselves by any false hope, but give
us grace, day by day, to examine our-
selves with care and diligence, that
we may discover all that is amiss in
us. O Lord deliver us from con-
tinuing in any known sin. Save us
from every secret iniquity ; may we
each of us resolve before we go to rest
this night, to forsake, by thy grace
assisting us, every former transgres-
EVENING PRAYER 191
sion, and may we now devote our-
selves entirely to thy service.
We farther beseech thee to bless all
our relations, friends, and connexions;
take both them and us under thy pro-
tection this night. And have mercy
on all those who are in pain, sick-
ness, or any other adversity, do thou
lighten their troubles and support
them by thy heavenly grace.
And accept our thanks for all thy
goodness vouchsafed unto us this day.
Praised be the Lord for all his mercies,
for the health and strength, and food
and raiment, and comforts of every
kind which we have enjoyed. But
above all we desire to bless thy name
for the gift of Jesus Christ, thy Son,
for the instructions of thy sacred
192 FOR A FAMILY.
word, and for the hope of everlasting
life. — O Lord, grant unto us grace to
receive these, and all thy blessings
with a thankful heart, and let us
show forth thy praise, not with our
lips only but with our lives. Ac-
cept, we beseech thee, our imper-
fect supplications and prayers, for
the sake of Jesns Christ, our only
Lord and Saviour.
Our Father, &c.
May the Grace, &c.
THE END.
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